Living in Equestria under a false name and racial identity is one thing. Finding out you're not the only one of your kind stranded here is another... especially when that someone and the element bearers are looking for you.

Being my first attempt at a first-person romantic comedy, this takes a slightly different approach to the concept of being a human stranded in Equestria.

Enjoy.

Big thanks to DVAN56 for editing. Go check out his work!

Meet Daymos. He's just like any other pony in Ponyville.

He works.

He plays.

He has bodies in his basement.

Okay, maybe he's not like any other pony.

But he's only trying to help.

He's a killer with a conscience and murderer with morals.

So if you end up on his table... You probably deserve what's coming.

Author's Note: Okay, this is going to take a while... I have a HUGE story planned for this thing and it's going to take a while to write it all. But I feel like if I write like 3000+ words a week, I can make some headway on it. Now, about the story. It's not exactly a crossover; it's more of an 'inspired by'. One day, I started wondering how a Dexter-esque pony would play out and this spawned. I wanted to submit it to Equestria Daily... But I kept feeling like their requirements were so arbitrary and restricting. I almost dropped it because of all the tiny little nitpicks. So, here you are. Unabridged, unabashed, unedited. Enjoy.

Prince Blueblood thought the Grand Galloping Gala was over. He thought he could just go to sleep and put it behind him. He never expected to be reliving the same disaster of a day, over and over... and over.

TV tropes page here:
http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/FanFic/TheBestNightEver

Thanks to all the people who wrote the page and all the people who gave me a little wakeup call and comment to become aware of that fact! You can't see it, but you guys put a real smile on my face tonight.

Also, recently, extra thanks to RD Dash for giving TBNE a thorough editing. I've updated the fic accordingly (7.11.12)

Once upon a time, in a land far far away—oh, who gives a crap.
All you need to know is this: There’s this big school in an equally big city called Academy City. (Original, I know) And in that school students are graded based on a level system. Twelve is good—Like, “Celestia on a good day” good—one is bad.
I’m level one.
Woop-ti-doo.
But that’s not the worst of it, nope. I have to deal with a math-crazed freak, a nihilist that’s far too happy for her own good, a time manipulator who can’t manipulate her way out of a cardboard box, and, to put the cherry on the cow patty, high school life.
Well, shit.

Warning: Some mildly impolite things are said on occasion.

Cover-Art by: F4celessart
Chapter Header Art by: Gurumane

It was only natural that introspection would come in the wake of something as monumental as a royal wedding. With the festivities of Shining Armor's betrothal long since past, Twilight has come to realize that there exists a tremendous gap in her studies of friendship, that being that she doesn't really have any stallion friends. That's likely because pursuing platonic relations with the opposite gender is rather difficult when there's a growing desire in her heart for something deeper than her friends can provide.

After an afternoon of disturbed study time and unexpected dental catastrophe, the last thing Twilight would have expected was for opportunity to come knocking in the form of a quiet stallion reading in her library. Enraptured by the chance to expand her education, Twilight bumbles into the newcomer's life without the faintest notion of the depth of the pony's loss. Though her faith in friendship is strong, it will take more than her magic to undo the scars of his past, and keep a heart once filled with wonder from succumbing to the power of doubt.

Set after the events of the season three pilot and before Twilight is crowned princess.

You'd think that being trapped in stone would mean that, if nothing else, I could get some peace and quiet. Unfortunately, it seems that Celestia has other ideas.

She has appointed these ponies... these 'Keepers', as she calls them, to keep me entertained during my incarceration.

Honestly? I'd prefer the boredom.

Cover art by matrosha123
Spanish Translation by SPANIARD KIWI found here

Semper Pie is one of Equestria's most honored and decorated soldiers. Protector of the innocent, hero of countless battles, champion of all ponykind. Even Shining Armor, ex-Captain of the Royal Guard, and Prince Consort to the Crystal Princess, looks up to this great stallion. Truly one of the best and greatest ponies to have ever served under the Royal Sister's banner.

Still, where did he come from? Where was he born? What has he done? Does he have any family? Why would he suddenly want to come to Ponyville?

And why, for the love of Celestia, does he specifically want to meet with the Element of Laughter herself?

During his revenge against the Animal Shelter, Dan decided to stop at Burger Phile for a milkshake, a plain burger and a small soda. Then he ends up meeting with a pink haired girl that will change his life.
Cover Image provided by FlamesofBlades with the original art of Technaro. Please visit her DA gallery, It is awesome.

A letter sits upon a table where it had not just a moment before. A golden glow lifts it as it unfurls in front of the reader.

Let us see here, how to begin?

Well, I suppose the best way to do so is with introductions. I am Prometheus and while I was, as one might say, tied up for quite some time I noticed your world. I have to say it's quite interesting, but unfortunately stagnant as well. So Miss Celestia I, being the patron of progress that I am, have sent someone your way. He is not a creature native to your world, a species I personally have a great deal of interest in, they're ambitious little scamps. I am bestowing a gift upon him as I send him, one he will in time learn to master. It is my hopes he brings progress to your world, but as the past has proven on many an occasion the best intentions can at times have the worst effects. We'll just have to see how it goes won't we.

Sincerely,
Prometheus

Ha, not as smart as the bastard thinks he is. I managed to snag the paper from him. So "Miss Celestia" my name is Coal and apparently I'm supposed to stir up some dirt. I'll admit I know just as much as to what is going on as you do, but if he's the Prometheus I'm thinking of, things might be a little more complicated than he'd let us believe. Crap, he's coming back. Ummm... Why did I just waste time writing Ummm?

Winter is coming... I'm disappointed with myself if that's the best I can come up with.

[2nd Person] [Silent Protagonist] [Pinkie Pie] [Romance]

After retiring from your music career as a talented musician in Canterlot, you move to Ponyville to live out your days in peace and tranquility. However, when a certain pink party pony forcibly involves herself in your life, you wonder how you're going to survive this onslaught of randomness, her obsession with parties, and why she can't keep her hooves off your hat.

Rated T for Mild Language, Suggestive Situations, and Black Top Hats.