Hitting it Off (Genres)
Chapter 2: Hitting it Off (Genres)
"Hmm hmm hmm... this grass feels really good!" Pinkie Pie said to herself, rolling one way and then back the other. "Twilight sure is taking a while. That must be because she's absolutely loving the special treatment! Still, not even I took this long, and I was so excited, I could hardly sit still!" Pinkie's intent to ruminate upon the matter further was staved off by the floral scent of a nearby lily, which she gave an appreciative sniff before flopping onto her back and spreading out full stretch. "Oki doki lokie! Guess I just have to wait! Talk about bo~ring! But... I guess it's okay since it’s for Twilight."
A sky so blue slowly faded from view as lucid azure eyes gently closed. The mare took a moment of quiet in the early afternoon to silently thank her favorite egghead; From helping with the twins to teaching her proper sleuthing methods, Twilight had earned a special place in her heart. A sound not quite as pleasant as the whispering wind or trilling birdsong caused an ear twitch unaffiliated with her Pinkie senses, and aside from a most regrettable case of the frownies and gooey coat, she opened her eyes to exactly the pony she wanted to see.
"Hiya, Twilight!" Pinkie chortled, waving with both hooves for a moment before pulling them back to her chest and beaming brightly. Were Twilight not busy grinding her teeth in abject vexation and currently without proper words with which to describe her displeasure, she would have commented on such an endearingly adorable action. "So, how was it?"
"H-how... how was..." Twilight sputtered, stomping in a circle and leaving a blob of toothpaste with every heavy hoof fall. While many words sprang to mind, she forced herself to try and choose her vocabulary carefully for the sake of her friend and any young ponies that may be within hearing range.
"Speechless? I know, right?" Pinkie interjected, leaping upright and mimicking Twilight's rage step with a touch more pep, always up for a dance. Following Twilight's lead as the mare ground to a halt and simply stared in disbelief, Pinkie couldn't help but lean forward as she noticed Twilight's mane was in a disastrous state of disarray. "Wow, you must have really had fun if your mane came out looking like... hey, like mine! We're twins! You could be, like, Twilight Sprinkle!"
"I could also be your worst nightmare!" Twilight howled, stopping Pinkie Pie short as she sat down and cocked her head.
"No you couldn't," she stated with absolute confidence. "There is no way you could ever be scarier than... than..." she stammered, hiding behind her hooves as her whole body quaked with fear. Slowly did she dare look out, and it was in brilliant violet eyes that couldn't scorch the mare with the seething lanes of agitation that Pinkie dared to utter her darkest of fears. "Candy prohibition." The words came out in a hushed whisper, and after a few moments of silence wherein the Element of Magic lay on the verge of going supernova, Pinkie Pie popped upright and broke into a grin. "Don't worry, Miss Sprinkle! Celestia would never ever outlaw candy, ever! Poor Colgate would be so sad, and- how did you like the special treatment? I bet-"
"It's 'Sparkle,' not 'Sprinkle,' and it was the worst, most uncomfortable thing I have ever had done to me!" Pinkie Pie quailed as the sudden outburst dashed her hopes against the rocks, and she could do little else but sit and weather the storm. "Tell me, Pinkie: does your idea of 'fun' involve being pasted to a chair while some orally obsessive mare uses some... some cannon to... to... well? Does it?!?"
"...I thought it kinda tickled, actually," Pinkie replied, though her demure response sailed over the head of a mare in the midst of a heated rage. Pinkie Pie didn't quite have the strength to offer rebuttal in the face of her friend's venting: her efforts to spread just a little more laughter had failed, and she knew it.
"Tickled? I'm sorry, but consolidating toothpaste into a laser beam strikes me as just slightly overboard, Pinkie!” Twilight snapped back. “I mean, it got up my nose and everything! I’ll be smelling mint for weeks! My brain is minty fresh, Pinkie. Brains are not supposed to be minty fresh!” Even though her antics were often more welcome than not, Pinkie was no stranger to raised voices, but hearing it come from Twilight instantly deflated the mare’s enthusiasm, and Twilight heaved a sigh as the mare cast her eyes to the ground.
“I mean, whose idea was it to turn toothpaste into a laser? Who does that?” At the end of her rant, Twilight felt a wave of nausea pass over her, the onset of regret instantaneous as she beheld Pinkie and her misty eyes. On the verge of tears for a great plan that flopped hard, she slowly raised her hoof in solemn admission of guilt.
"It was my idea," she said quietly, sniffling as she hung her head low. "Colgate wanted some help finding a better way to clean everypony's teeth, so we took a few days and tried to figure it out. I didn't really understand all the complicated stuff, and it made me feel kind of silly..." Twilight would have laughed at the notion of Pinkie being distraught over feeling "silly" if it weren't for the fact that she could see it was much closer to depression over a perceived lack of intelligence.
"But... then why did you keep working on it?" Twilight asked, taken aback by the mare's dedication despite being more fragile than most knew. Memories of the time they tried to plan her a party filtered in slow, bringing with them a pang of guilt. The corners of a once jubilant mare's mouth slowly began to curl upwards, forming her favorite of expressions: a smile, timid and unsure. It was then that Twilight learned an important lesson; friends put their friends needs before their own, and are worth being made a little uncomfortable, sometimes. A smile, albeit a rueful one, returned to the student's face as she was once more taught by a most unlikely teacher the depth of her friend’s devotion.
"I just wanted to see your smile sparkle." Unsure whether the proper response was to facehoof for being caught off guard by so simple a motive or simply grovel for doubting Pinkie yet again, Twilight accepted her wordless chastisement before taking a seat next to the pouting pony.
“You know,” Twilight began, pausing momentarily as Pinkie glanced over at her. “I... think I could give it another try.”
“Really?”
“Rea-”
“Thankyou!” With an oxygen-depriving squeeze to accompany her jubilant interjection, Pinkie gladly accepted Twilight and the accompanying toothpaste with the grace and dignity one would expect from her. Tolerating her friend’s overbearing manner with the patience librarians are famed for possessing, Twilight coughed a little and grimaced as she was snatched into zealously friendly hooves. Her expression began to relax as Pinkie adjusted her grip so as to allow comfortable breathing, but Twilight’s lungs were cut no slack as they hastily filled to the brim and formed a startled yelp as a young dragon’s voice broke the silence.
“Uh... what were you two, um...” Spike began, looking from pony to pony before asking the most pressing question in his mind. “...is that frosting?”
“Toothpaste,” Twilight stated flatly.
“You do know that you’re not supposed to wear it, right?”
“Yes, Spike, I’m very much aware.”
“Okay, if you say so,” he muttered, dropping the subject. “Anyways, I wasn’t trying to interrupt... whatever caused...”
“You didn’t,” Twilight reassured the claw motioning to all of her and the dragon it was attached to. “I went to the dentist, and it didn’t go well, okay? Did you need something?”
“Yeah!” Pinkie chimed in. “Me and Twilight were sharing our first ever super-sappy extra-minty toothpaste hug!”
“Your what now?”
“Nothing, don’t worry about it,” Twilight cut in. “Spike, did you have something to tell me?”
“Oh! Right. Twilight, you have somepony waiting for you in the library.”
“For me?” she murmured, tilting her head in mild perplexion. "I don’t remember having any other plans for the morning... In fact, I made sure that I’d have the whole morning to myself, but that clearly didn’t happen..." She couldn’t help but shoot Pinkie a brief smile before turning back to Spike. “Well, that’s odd... I wasn’t aware that anypony would be coming by, or else I would have come home already.”
“Well, he might want to check out some books, but I-”
"He?" Completely unaware of the fact that her ears were now pointing towards the noonday sun, Twilight stood entranced by the ramifications of what was assuredly a most welcome pronoun. “Spike, you just said ‘he,’ right? That’s what you said?”
“Uh...”
“It is! He said ‘he,’ that’s what he said~!” Pinkie Pie squealed, prancing over.
“He! ‘He’ refers to a male, and ‘male’ means it’s a stallion!” Twilight shouted in unintentional and thoroughly unrestrained exultation. “A stallion! Not only a stallion, but a stallion that likes books! Spike, do you know what this means? He likes books enough to actually check... them... out!” Twilight concluded, thrusting her face close to her assistant’s. He blinked. “Somepony is actually going to check out books, Spike! And it’s totally a stallion! Yeee~!”
“She really doesn’t get out much, does she?” Pinkie Pie commented, watching as the mare skipped like a filly, giggling all the while.
“Nuh uh, but I didn’t think it was this bad,” Spike murmured in reply. “It’s almost like she thinks the first literate stallion she meets is gonna be her boyfr-”
“Spike! Let’s go!” Given neither a choice in the matter nor time for thought as he suddenly found himself perched precariously atop a rearing mare, Spike clung tight as Twilight’s feverish excitement spurred her on as well as any good smack to the rump. While slightly perplexed by the intensity of her reaction, he couldn’t well hold it against her, either. Watching her brother marry had brought her immeasurable joy at first, but as the calculating pony’s thoughts invariably turned to herself and the utter lack of romantic involvement within her own life, sobriety held the mare in dowr spirits for a good week following the ceremony. Outwardly, she had recovered, but if her actions were any indication, the subject was still close to the front of her mind, and it was for that exact reason that Spike chose not to rain on her parade. That, and the idea of Twilight trying to make her first impression while obliviously coated in toothpaste was hilarious for him to imagine. Still, if she even wanted to make it to bat, she’d have to tone it down a notch.
“Twilight?”
“Mmmhmm?” came the cheerful murmur, sounding either wistful or lovestruck: Spike honestly couldn’t tell.
“It’s not Daring Do day,” Spike said, referencing one of the greatest days in the year for the eager bibliophile.
“Oh, come on!” Twilight replied, craning her neck around to peer back at Spike. “I’m not acting that excited, am I?” Two arms folded across a scaled chest, conveying an emphatic “yes.” “Okay, maybe I am overreacting a little,” she conceded, “but I can’t help but be excited! This is an amazing opportunity!”
“Opportunity for what? Flirting?” Spike teased, chuckling as Twilight’s ears flopped down. “We all know how well that’s worked for you.”
“How the hay am I supposed to understand something so confusing without some kind of reference guide?” Twilight retorted, stomping a hoof in frustration as memories both recent and awkward came drifting back. “Walk this way, use these words, do this, do that- it’s too much to remember! Honestly, I don’t know how Rarity expects me to learn without a good hard copy of all that crazy mumbo jumbo and a few dozen hours of practice...”
“So if you’re not planning on coaxing him into asking for a dinner date, why are you getting so worked up about meeting some stallion you haven’t even seen?” Spike asked. At first, all he got was an exasperated snort and some unintelligible mumbling, but after stalking a short distance and taking a few deep breaths as Cadence had taught her, Twilight spoke up.
“It is possible I’m more excited than I should be, but it’s not what it probably looks like.” Rounding a bend and pausing as her beloved library came into view, Twilight let her grin stretch a little wider as a soft sigh escaped her lips. “You see,” she began as she started towards the giant oak tree, “I’ve made lots of great friends here in Ponyville, but all of them are girls. I don’t have any male friends at all, really.”
“It’s not like there’s a whole lot to choose from,” Spike offered, eliciting a chuckle from the mare.
“It’s true my options here would be less than ideal,” Twilight agreed, “but that’s not really the point. Shining Armor is the only stallion I’ve ever spent any time around, and after he left to train for the royal guard, I saw him even less. I don’t really know anything about them: what they’re like, how to talk to them, how their feelings work... anything! Rarity’s ‘guide’ to flirting pretty much only taught me how to embarass myself, and that’s something I can do without some stallion asking me why I keep correcting his grammar. Don’t you see, Spike? There’s a huge gap in my studies about friendship.”
“So that’s all this is?” Spike questioned, knowing full well the truth of his friend’s words. Although her letters had become fewer as her friendship grew and troubles became less frequent, the student’s excitement for learning lessons and sharing them with her teacher had only grown since being sent to Ponyville. That didn’t mean he couldn’t poke a little fun, though. “Are you sure you aren’t thinking about some ‘extra curricular-’”
“Spike!” Twilight barked, struggling to keep a straight face as her cheeks shifted in hue. I wasn’t before... much... but I am now. Great. “You’re way too young to be talking about that sort of thing. It sounds like somepony wants to spend their afternoon dusting underneath the books.” She failed to contain a chuckle as she glanced behind her and found her assistant with both claws guarding the gates of wanton wordiness, and with a racing heart she drew near to the library.
Pausing only briefly outside the door to catch her breath, Twilight felt a shudder of anticipation wiggle through her from the tip of her snout to the end of her tail, and with complete lack of ceremony or grace, the mare burst through the door and found herself entranced by the scene that lay before her. Her gaze were drawn first to the soft, almost feminine features of the stallion’s muzzle construction, then to his mane that glinted with every minute movement of his head. Worn longer than most stallions would dare and draped over an eye, a few flakes fluttered down as he absentmindedly swept his mane from his vision, catching the sunlight and shimmering as they danced their way to the floor. Noting the sullied tufts of white fur around his hooves as she lifted her eyes to his cutie mark, a heart of a rosen hue framed within a snowflake, and then finally to the tome he held loosely with a hoof on either side.
As if pulled straight from one of her delusional late-night fantasies where coherent thought had long since caved to sleepless delerium, Twilight dismissed the stallion’s disheveled condition and instead found one thought even more enticing than all the rest: her entrance hadn’t broken his concentration. There lay a stallion so enthralled by literature that her abrupt entrance utterly devoid of tact or stealth caused him to not so much as bat an eye while her own drank in the scene with ravenous approval. Athletic prowess had nothing on the sight and scent of an honest-to-Celestia stallion studying: Twilight was breathless. Helpless, really, as her hooves slowly drew her closer while her heart melted amidst the cool of Winter’s gift to ponykind. Only vaguely aware that Spike had at some point dismounted and now sat snickering quietly as she drew near, Twilight couldn’t help but yield to her wonder as a gentle magical aura bathed her coat in pale blue and dusted her hoof with a few more flakes.
"I... I wasn’t prepared for this." Research’s refrain whispered in the quietude as the stallion turned the page, and Twilight offered her backup vocals in a shallow gasp. "I really had only been thinking about friendship before, but now, I... the way he’s holding that book, it’s... it’s just so..." “So sexy...” were the very first words she spoke to the one she hoped to befriend, and also the spell that broke his captivation within the world of literature. Feeling her heart flutter as lurid aquamarine eyes denied the allure of pages yet unread and instead focused upon her, Twilight accepted the warmth that filled her chest and cherished the lightheadedness that came as he opened his mouth and spoke.
“I... what?” he asked quietly, peering back in confusion at the mare slowly leaning closer. Too enthralled to be bothered her desire’s lack of articulation and unaware the she had in fact spoken aloud, Twilight swallowed and let just a few more words of poetry slip unrestrained from her tongue.
“I’d like to be a book,” she whispered, taking a slow step forward. “Could I be your book?” With all the gentleness of a rock testing the structural integrity of the nearest window, tranquility shattered as Spike’s juvenile laughter flooded the house. Irate, Twilight whirled around and fixed him in a furious glare that only seemed to provoke more laughter. “Spike, quiet down! Can’t you see he was trying to study?”
“I... I’m sorry, Twilight!” Spike wheezed in between snickers. “It’s just... that was the... the best pickup line I’ve ever heard you use!”
“What was?” she asked, tilting her head.
“‘Could I be your... your b-book!’” the breathless dragon barely managed to get out as he rolled about the floor, clutching his sides. “That’s way better than ‘you can study me all night!’ It looks like Rarity’s training is really paying off!”
“Can I be...” she started, her voice trailing off as the words resonated within her mind. "No... nononono, I didn’t! Please tell me I didn’t... say that out loud?" Mortified as she turned around, she took one look at the blank stare and felt every last ounce of self-confidence drop the pit of her stomach. Sitting down hard as both hooves moved in to cover her treacherous word-spewing maw, Twilight shuddered as a searing wave of heat swept her head to hoof. With her ears gone flaccid and an all-too-familiar churning in her stomach, the mare acknowledged the newcomer’s puzzlement with a pitiful squeak and disappeared with a lavender flash.
Concerned only with finding the most isolated location in the house and never showing her face again, Twilight reappeared just outside the bathroom and rushed inside, slamming the door shut behind her and sliding down into a sitting position as every bad feeling ever seemed to fill her mouth with the taste of failure. Assumptions that she couldn’t possibly feel any worse were debunked in seconds as she glimpsed herself in the mirror, still covered in dried toothpaste and her mane terribly out of place. Turning away as tears crept into the corner of her eyes, she started the flow of water and stepped into the shower, shutting out the world as her head dropped with a thunk to the wall. Making friends with stallions was going to be more formidable a task than she had imagined, but at least she could discard thoughts of romance: she was positively, irrevocably friend-zoned.
"I can’t imagine what he must think of me now..." Downcast, she watched the evidence of dental eccentricity mingle with the water before disappearing down the drain, along with what remained of the excitement that had just moments before filled her with vigor. "He just looked so engaged while he was studying... it’s not something I’ve ever seen in another pony besides myself. Even when Rainbow Dash is reading, she’s always fidgeting or changing positions, but he looked so scholastic, so wise... so gentle." Briefly checking herself over for any last blotches of white, she stepped out and instinctively picked up a brush, levitating it to her mane but pausing with the bristles just a hair away as she viewed the disarray reflected in the mirror.
“What’s the point...” she groaned, releasing the brush and cringing as it fell to the counter with a clatter. Cracking open the door, her drooping ears ears were greeted only with the hush of a deserted library, and with heavy, plodding steps she made straight for her bed, eager to receive what little comfort it could give. With one fleeting glance towards the stairs where all lay quiet, Twilight blocked out the world with her hooves, but even behind her phalanx her mind continued to move. "For just a few moments, I felt like I might actually have a chance to find something deeper than friendship. Then I got too excited, just like I always do..."
Both one of her greatest defining features and also her greatest bane, the mare’s love of exploring new boundaries and the shameless enthusiasm that it brought had resulted in as much triumph as regret. From the whole ordeal with time travel and the city-wide restoration it sparked to her terror of being tardy, fearing a penalty that never came, she watched the scenes drift through her mind with helpless acceptance. It was simply who she was, and she’d come to accept it with the support of her friends, but not everypony was so understanding, and there was no reason to believe that the stallion she’d just doused with desire would find her behavior anything short of disturbed.
Were she not so steeped in introspection, she would have heard the sound of the very same stallion struggling to coax his enervated limbs to carry him up the stairs. Twilight’s assumptions were based upon both logic and previous experience, but she couldn’t have anticipated with how deeply her oddly phrased question had resonated within the stranger dragging himself forward, one step at a time. It was neither desire nor attraction that moved him to overcome his fatigue, but a genuine interest in the mare that would ascribe him such a lofty title as “sexy.” He didn’t find the term particularly apt, nor could he rightly say that there was any traditional allure in the sight of a mare coated in minty paste, but her turnaround from boundless enthusiasm to meekness had, if nothing else, left him perplexed and pleasantly intrigued. Allowing a short breather as he crested the steps, the stallion peered over at the miserable pony with an unkempt mane and found an unfamiliar, though not unpleasant, pressure around the corners of his mouth.
“Excuse me...” At the sound of a gentle voice she’d heard only but once, Twilight slowly peeked out from the shelter of her hooves to find the stallion whom she assumed would find her quirky at best, demented at worst, beholding her with tired eyes that still seemed to convey something more than his fatigue. The wondrous heat that had clouded her mind just minutes before slowly rekindled as he regarded her the same intensity he had given the tome that lay abandoned on the floor below, and though hesitancy told her to turn away, she continued to look on as he quietly made his way over, taking a seat by the edge of the bed. Though the air had chilled from the stallion’s presence, Twilight found it to be pleasantly soothing to the flames coursing through her veins. Her mind raced as it sought for something to say even as it overclocked itself attempting to reason why the first thing she’d heard was something other than mocking laughter, but what was spoken next were two words that absolved her mistakes even as she struggled to understand the meaning behind them.
“What genre?”
Genre? What is he talking about? There aren’t any books up here... “I... I-I’m afraid I don’t understand...” she said quietly, shuddering as a tremor of searing wonder threatened to rob her of coherent speech.
“Forgive me,” he replied quickly, shaking his head. “I wasn’t... being very clear; it’s quite difficult to think when one is... so very tired. You offered to be a book for me, yes?” There really wasn’t any way for her to deny it, and she confirmed the matter with a contrite nod. “I find the idea of living literature to be a curious one. So then, if you were to be a book... what genre would you be?”
"If I was..." Violet eyes grew wider as her heart made the connection, and without so much as a warning, any shame the mare had felt was abolished. There was no sarcasm, no irony in his words, only a hint of genuine amusement that Twilight found more comforting than any verbal reassurance could have been. “I...” she started, hesitating a little as the corners of her mouth dared to stretch wider. “I’d... probably be a book about magic.”
“Magic?” he repeated, his ear twitching involuntarily. “I like magic.” To any other mare, the lopsided grin of a terribly tired pony would have been nothing short of goofy, but to Twilight, the stallion’s smile was freedom: from worries that she’d blown it, from fear that she wouldn’t be accepted unless she followed a strict checklist of skills that she hadn’t honed in the slightest, and from the voices in her head that had told her trying again was a lost cause. Emboldened by the air of acceptance coming from the atypical unicorn seated before her, Twilight steeled her nerves and tested the strength of their metaphor.
“If you’d like, we could... start with the first page?” Twilight offered, her soft tone laced with uncertainty. In the short few moments of his hesitation, she worried that she might have come on too strong yet again, but then came the relief of agreement, spoken with the same hesitation as her own.
“That... that sounds nice...”
“Really?” Twilight whispered, more to herself than her guest. “Well, um... I guess it makes sense to start with introductions: I’m Twilight Sparkle. I’m the librarian here in Ponyville, but you probably already knew that. Um... if I may ask, what kind of story are you?”
“One that is quite poorly written,” he murmured in reply, looking away. “I... cannot guarantee that I will be an enjoyable read. If you find even a few chapters to be to your liking, then... you would be the first in quite some time.” There was a weight behind the words that bothered Twilight. His declaration seemed to be one of warning, as if he was trying to convince her not to open a forbidden tome, but Twilight couldn’t possibly turn away such an opportunity to learn something new about friendship. He was giving her the chance she hadn’t expected to receive, and there was no way she wasn’t going to take it.
“What’s your title?” Slightly taken aback, the stallion just stared back at her for a few moments, contemplating the inquiry.
"This mare, she... makes me feel... awake." That notion alone was enough motivation to ignore the overwhelming exhaustion that still sought to muddle his thoughts. “My name is Cerulean, and my genre... is tragedy.” Even as enraptured as Twilight was quickly finding herself to be with the unusual pony seated close enough that she could have touched his matted mane, she couldn’t help but laugh as something putrid wafted over strong enough to override the scent of wintergreen lingering in her sinuses. “Did I say something wrong?” he asked, somewhat confused that his dire warning and subsequent introduction was met with mirth.
“No, it’s nothing like that,” Twilight assured him, beaming back. “It’s just... well, you sounded so regal and serious when you were telling me your name, but... your breath is horrible! Even with mint up my nose, I could still smell it, and- eep!” While the stallion breathed on his hoof and took a tentative whiff, with the result being a mixture of disgust and amusement, Twilight tried not to think about how easy it would be to roast marshmallows with her cheeks, but her worries that she’d misspoken were again laid to rest as Cerulean responded not with indignation, but hearty agreement.
“Goodness, that’s foul,” he murmured, wrinkling his nose before begging the mare’s patience with an apologetic glance. “I apologize for my breath, but toothpaste is a... scarcity when wandering the countryside...”
“And why exactly were you doing that?” Twilight asked, all ears and curious.
“Running from a harrowing past,” he replied dismissively, shrugging off the question. “You know, the usual ‘mysterious stranger’ spiel. That’s a chapter for another time, though.”
“Wait, what? You can’t do that!” Twilight whined, leaping from the bed and facing the stallion.
“It’s foreshadowing,” he retorted with a hint of amusement.
“That’s not foreshadowing!” she objected, grinning even as she pointed an accusatory hoof at Cerulean. “Foreshadowing is hinting at something in advance, not introducing a subject and then dropping it without explanation. That’s not just annoying, it’s plain bad!”
“You’re right...” he conceded quietly, hanging his head and shivering. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to upset you.” No longer perturbed but somewhat taken aback as the stallion’s expression shifted from remorse to something worse, Twilight noted the sudden presence of snow with intellectual interest and unplaceable concern. “I... told you I was poorly written...”
“That’s not...” she started, planning to point out that it was an easy mistake and quite avoidable. Correction was set aside as she watched his ears follow his gaze to the floor, and it was in that moment that Twilight came to see that she wasn’t the only one lacking in confidence. Though she had only just learned Cerulean’s name, she couldn’t stand to deny somepony the very kind of reassurance that she had needed so many times herself. Being very well acquainted with doubt and the burden that it brought, she recognized the unseen weight laid upon on the shoulders of a stallion who looked just as she had not minutes before: despairing and lost. Whether it was the open display of weakness that made him so approachable, devoid of the pride that many stallions carried, or the way he had met her on her own terms, crafting a metaphor from her blunder through which both could communicate, she couldn’t say; what she did know is that the pony seated before her looked like he could use a friend.
“That’s not true...” Twilight assured him, scooting closer and craning her neck until reluctant eye contact was made. “The stories we read were all nothing more than rough drafts at some point. You’ve got great presentation, even if your dialogue could use a little work, and though I don’t know what your story holds, I’m eager to find out - one page at a time.” Uncertainty shone in tired eyes as the stallion slowly lifted his head. “If you’d allow it, I wouldn’t mind being your editor.” It was an incredible leap of faith for Twilight to make the offer as she had, one that she wasn’t even sure that she would be able to fulfill, and her uncertainty was met with understandable hesitation.
“I’ve little more to offer than feeble attempts at wit and the burden of my presence...” For some, that would have been the point at which offers of assistance ceased and the pony abandoned for the overwhelming depression dripping from his words. For Twilight, though, it was a moment of poignant realization that the pony sitting before her was so withdrawn from whatever alleged burden he carried that he was too afraid even to reach for help. Reaching out to a friend, however, was something that Twilight relished as both an opportunity to learn and to spread a little of the magic she’d found with her own companions, and with that in mind she acted upon impulse, covering Cerulean’s hoof with her own.
“You have a story,” Twilight corrected softly, shuddering from the cool of the stallion’s coat. “It’s... one that I can see will have moments of sorrow, but you’ve already proven that there is more to you than sadness. It may not be comfortable, but sometimes it’s the greatest trials that lead to the happiest endings.”
Spoken in true literary cliché, it was not the words themselves that caused Cerulean to lend them credence, but the authenticity with which they were spoken. Rather than exasperation with what could rightly be thought to be considered a patronizing and overly sentimental attempt at being inspirational, he regarded Twilight with perplexion as her timid smile and unabashed earnest swaddled him in comfort like a foal wrapped in warm blankets. Peering at the hoof held over his own, Cerulean wondered if the hope for a second chance was worth the risk of being found out to be a lost cause. All it took to find his answer was the sensation of another’s warmth seeping into his hoof.
“If...” he began quietly, falling silent as he fumbled for words. “If you’re really willing, I would greatly appreciate your help... rewriting my story.”
“Well, no time like the present!” she announced, clapping her hooves together before leaping upright. Entirely unaware of just how eager Twilight was to begin her newest learning experience and not expecting nearly as much boundless enthusiasm for cleaning up the cart wreck of the ages, Cerulean looked back at her with an appropriately deadpan expression entirely devoid of understanding. “I’m not one to put off work for another day, so let’s get right to it! We can’t move on until you’re all cleaned up.”
“Starting the editing already?” Cerulean asked, reluctantly rising to his hooves. Her shift in tone was perplexing, but her attitude was contagious, and he couldn’t really complain about receiving what he’d asked for.
“Of course!” Twilight quipped, opening a cupboard and pulling out a towel. “I may be more accepting than some of my peers when it comes to appearances, but you really could use a shower. Here, take this,” she prompted, holding the towel aloft with her magic. For a moment, the two aura’s formed a soft indigo as Cerulean ensnared the towel with his magic, and Twilight quickly dismissed the notion from her mind before it could have its merry way making metaphors. “Feel free to use my shampoo and conditioner; you might come out smelling a little fruity, but it’ll be a whole lot better than... whatever it is you smell like right now.”
“Stallion?”
“I was thinking ‘gratuitous amounts of sweat and several layers of soil,’ actually, but they’re easy to get confused,” Twilight replied, surprised with how easy the words had come. Generally, one doesn’t jump right into teasing as two lifelong friends might, but fortunately, Cerulean hadn’t seemed to take offense. “Go on, then. I’ll be waiting for you downstairs. When you’re finished getting clean, we’ll see about doing something for your breath.”
With an understanding grin and a passing word of thanks, Cerulean accepted his task wholeheartedly, trotting inside and shutting the door behind him. Turning on the flow with his magic and giddy with anticipation of the coming warmth, he glanced at the mirror and recoiled. Cerulean didn’t count himself a vain pony, but as he turned his head this way and that, really taking stock of himself, he found that the result was an affirmation of his desperate need of grooming and a little more respect for the mare downstairs.
With a soft moan of visceral delight, the stallion stepped into the cascade and bowed his head, peering through half-lidded eyes at the deluge draining from his mane. He’d approached Ponyville only with expectations of passing for another face in the crowd, maybe working for a morsel to balance a diet severely lacking in anything remotely tasty, but instead had been met with kindness to balance the suspicion, and care which counteracted his doubt, if only for a time. He closed his eyes and leaned against the wall for support as life seeped back into his deadened limbs, bringing clarity to the depth of his fatigue, and with every intent of only taking a few moments of peace, he slipped into unconsciousness and slumped to the floor with thoughts of a lavender mare still dancing through his mind.
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3373499
*Slowclap* Bravo my good sir. You win.
3373533 Glad you like it so well! ^_^
3373533 OH MY GOD I KNOW RIGHT?!?!?!?!?!?!?!??
Automatically liked and faved because it's you.
As long as their first meeting goes the same way...
So... no missing swords and it's already at that state? Damn.. that was an important part of his life...
Right, instead of finding him in the woods, she's going to find him in the shower.
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So is this a prequel or a re-write of Tears in the Snow?
I am curious....
Finally a new story!
Yes, I haven't begun reading it yet, but I'm curious too. Is it a next story in the series or a prequel? Or a complete rewrite?
I thought you were going to write a new story and finally give Rarity a coltfriend too. Hasn't she suffered enough?
3373774 This is a re-write of Tears, a new beginning for the series. However, Mel/Wintergreen is letting the characters write the story right now, so its direction is a bit unknown. Still, it will reach a similar resolution in the end, I think, and should have a minimal impact on the subsequent book's main plot. Hope that answers your question, and I hope you enjoy the story! ^_^
- A pre-reader
3373906 Ah yes, Rarity's time will come, in fact writing for that has begun already (though it's been back-burnered by the rewrite) This story though, is intended to replace Tears. I think once we get this book finished, and the continuity errors that will arise in the others taken care of, writing for Rarity will resume. Worry not; she will have her stallion.
3373921
AWESOME! =D
Curulean's journey we see at last
A stallion fleeing from a saddening past
As Twi finds a new friend, he may find peace
A caring group, for his release
Awaiting another great story that's sure to be grande
Another great hit, you're sure to land
And now I fave, as I wait for more chapters
And also must ask, have you seen my raptors?
So you and Kiro make me happily sad
Both with beyond epic stories that test my patience like mad
So I wait in great hope as Curulean's journey returns to the start
And salute you, sir, for writing his part.
-Eclipse
Ahhh, that initial meeting. Very smooth, Twi.
3373774 i think it is rewrite, if so. I think it works much better than the original one.
Also note to the awesome author, keep up the good work my good chap! I could feel that Cerulean is...more real? Don't know if that makes sense but I could feel that he is more of pony in-depth than the original one and the original story you did of him was very good, I'd imagine this will leap further from that into something better.
I love the metaphor conversation that Twilight and Cerulean had together.
Cheers!
-Morfonious
Wow. I got finished reading Tears, I checked your page, and here this is.
3373656
Ditto
So if Fluttershy would like to be a tree and Twilight would like to be a book and books are made from trees then...of course Fluttershy is Twilight it all makes sense now
Time to add this to my Ceruverse group and make a new folder for it.
Just wanted to say that your description for this story is god-tier. This story grabbed my attention so hard.
I will return with my thoughts once I read.
The description gives away way too much of the story.
Ill read this when I don't feel like a complete and utter douche bag.
liked and faved for the description, will not change in the future (if the rest of the story is as good as said description)
Great writing funny dialogue and new story. Im so excited!:p
3374561 Perhaps it does describe the opening in too much detail, but trust me, there is much more to come that it does not foretell.
who the holy hell is this dude?
*checks stories*
oh... OH!
You already changed your name~
Well, ok~
*goes to reading*
Well that was pretty awesome. The combined awkwardness, incompetence, and...whatever it is that has Cerulean's tail in a knot proved to be quite hilarious and engaging. That metaphor was PRETTY damn cheesy haha.
Curious to see where this goes. Liked and faved, good sir!
Real quick:
I do believe that should be 'dour.'
3375764
You mean like Gulliver's Travels or like a math textbook?
Welp, I'm loving this so far. Keep going like this and I'll have to do something drastic.
-Missy
3375879 Indeed, you are right about that word, 'tis noted. As for his wordiness... do you feel it is an issue that needs to be addressed, or simply a noticeable quirk?
3375898 Yeah, I had to reread a couple of sentences to make sure I was understanding properly. Such verbosity feels out-of-place in something as simple as a fanfic.
3376317 I'm gonna air on the side of noticeable quirk. It doesn't really detract from the overall quality, it just feels a bit...off.
3376389 Well...yeah. Haha.
3376317
I've already made the Steven King comparison in a previous comment. My personal opinion is that it seems like a lot of unneeded fluff, I enjoy an author who can say a lot and write only a little. His style is great for addressing a setting or conversation, but awful for actions or characters.
3376517 Duly noted; It is something we'll have to work on.
3376532
Don't get me wrong, the story itself is interesting, so much so that I've both liked and favorited it.
The writing style does tend to get on my nerves though as I wasn't quite sure if the main character was a unicorn or not until about half way through the second chapter due to the lack of description on some things, and over abundance of the same on others.
3376819
Thank you, this is good feedback. Also you raise an interesting point; I never paid Cerulean's introduction any focus, because I already knew him well. I will make sure to bring this up, because this story is meant to pilot the series, and such important information should be in Cerulean's intro.
"You can study me all night"? Getting pretty desperate there, Twilight :P
Still, a rewrite of Tears ? Color me both pleasantly surprised and immensely pleased. I enjoyed the original well enough, and the follow-up stories were delightful to read, but I'll admit readily enough that Tears was the weaker link of the chain, so seeing it redone is a pleasant sight. As the gateway piece to the series, it has to leave the best impression possible. And so far it certainly beats the starting point of "Save Cerulean from wolves, end up as a tangled heap in a predictably compromising position, have Applejack act as an insufferable nag because of it that you can't help but want to strangle". Hopefully we don't have the eyebrow-rising race with Rainbow Dash this time around either, or at least have it go in a different way entirely.
So far this has been very good though - Twilight's misadventure with Colgate was amusing to read and served as a good lead-in for the story without jumping straight at the meat of things (a sort of "normal day in Ponyville" start), and sets up Twilight's eventual meeting with Cerulean a lot better than the foresight spell, in my opinion. Adds more credence to her meltdown after that embarrassing verbal slip as well, given that she also looked crazy, not just acted like it. Combine the two and makes sense she'd want to curl up in a ball in the darkest corner of her library, heh.
On that note, "Can I be your book" ... I can't deny that's an adorkably romantic sentiment, in a Twilight sort of way. And figures that his immediately apparent interest in literature would be the highest point of appeal in her books, trumping any immediate concerns over appearance or other factors, at least for the time being (Though once he gets washed up, I imagine she will be all but drooling over her newly acquired living book, heh). This moment, along with the follow-up conversation revolving around story metaphors came across as exactly something Twilight might do. Props for coming up with the whole book theme as the basis for their interactions to break the ice, thematically it fits Twilight very well and was well written.
Which brings me to the writing itself, and I must say I absolutely love the rich, detail oriented way that's full of metaphors and epithets. You have a well versed and varied vocabulary, and you obviously know how to use it to bring scenes and images to life. I find that insufficiently descriptive writing often makes for a dull story and kills otherwise good ideas (because the wrapping has to be enjoyable as well, not just the core function - I'm not after a textbook with information presented in the most space-efficient and to-the-point manner, I'm after a story that draws me in and paints a clear mental image of itself for me), so it pleases me greatly to see that is not the case here.
On the contrary - you portray and bring across a vivid mental imagery (though Cerulean himself might use a little more description, I feel, along with character body language in general at times) that all but brings the scenery to life in my mind, which makes for an immensely satisfying read - one that isn't frustratingly full of holes that I have to fill on my own, one that doesn't suffer for lack of clarity nor inability to bring across what it wants to express. Two thumbs (hooves?) up, and here's hoping to see more of this story for my teeth to sink in. Can hardly wait to see how this new and improved version differs from the old one and how things pan out this time around.
what 3377292 said
3377292 Got it right.
OK honestly, I like this fic and i am sure he has reasons for why hes like that. I dunno maybe he is half Windigo or something (SO AWESOME
)
But still since i like it i must mock it a bit. so just this once
CRRRRRRRAWWWWLING INNN MY SKIIIIIIIN THESE WOUUUNDS THEY WILL NOT HEEEEAL.
PAIN IS HOW I FAAAALL CONFUSING WHAT IS REAL!
again really sorry but i do like the story please write more. 10/10
3377292 quite the impressive critique! Thank you for being as thorough as you were, I will keep your points in mind as well :3
I know there is no comedy tag but that portion with Twilight and Colgate in the first chapter killed me I was laughing so hard. I don't know if it was suppose to be funny but I thought it was. Away nice story. Developing nicely and good characterization. So yeah have some freshly roasted approval.
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3375362 I've read Cerulean1313's (I can't remember the new name) stories, all of them in fact, so I know that there's a lot to it, but stories with long descriptions are a little bit annoying. I'm excited to read this, but I think that it should be half as long, so that it's more pleasing to the eye.
3376819 From what I've gathered based on your comments, your main complaints are twofold. First, you found that Cerulean was lacking in description, and weren't sure of his race until midway through the second chapter. However, the very first time Cerulean appears I confirm his hair, eye, and coat color, along with his race and quick description of his outer appearance, as shown here:
"The unicorn’s disheveled mane was likely once as pure as the snow that seemed to manifest around him at seemingly random intervals, but neglect and dust had marred its ivory sheen. Streaks of turquoise dispersed throughout his hair led her vision down to vacant eyes of the same brilliant color, but there was no sparkle to be found in his heavy-lidded gaze. Apple Bloom’s attention lingered for just a few moments on his dirt-encrusted azure coat before lifting her eyes to the fruit that swayed gently in the breeze."
The reason that this description is the basics is because the scene is being told from Apple Bloom's perspective, and she's not going to scrutinize every minute detail. That's precisely why the more in-depth assessment of his appearance comes in the second chapter, because Twilight is the type of pony who would notice the little things, especially if they pertain to a book-reading stallion:
"Her gaze were drawn first to the soft, almost feminine features of the stallion’s muzzle construction, then to his mane that glinted with every minute movement of his head. Worn longer than most stallions would dare and draped over an eye, a few flakes fluttered down as he absentmindedly swept his mane from his vision, catching the sunlight and shimmering as they danced their way to the floor. Noting the sullied tufts of white fur around his hooves as she lifted her eyes to his cutie mark, a heart of a rosen hue framed within a snowflake, and then finally to the tome he held loosely with a hoof on either side."
So here I introduce that Cerulean is slightly more feminine in appearance than most males, has a longer mane that covers an eye at times, tufts of hair around his hooves, and a description of his cutie mark, which is all new information. I think the confusion lies in the fact that I don't give a complete analysis of his appearance the moment he's introduced.
Now, as for my excessive wordiness, let me take a moment and say that I have never read a Stephen King novel, and thus any similarities in style are purely coincidental. I will admit that there are times when I take things to an extreme, crafting sentences with such complexity that it becomes cumbersome to read. This happens because, quite frankly, I find writing extravagant exposition to be fun. However, just as you found my style to be rather annoying, there are others who appreciate the flow of description, so I'm not really sure there's much I can offer save an apology that you don't find my style choice to your liking. I will try to avoid potential tongue twisters that, while grammatically correct, are practically paragraphs in themselves, though. I hope you continue to enjoy the story, and I'll keep trying to improve. Thanks for the feedback!
3378787 Working on it right now, actually.
3378811
hear hear
I'm so far not as I grossed with this as the other one.
It'll get better though I'm sure.
Geez, this Cerulean is... Very..... Different, from the original. At least, in the way he presents himself and acts on the surface.
Hmm you're a hard author to price together, you know that? One moment you have a brilliantly funny bit, the next is this mysteriously sad/ and or depressing part that makes it nigh impossible to stop reading. Just what is your angle, mr author? ...Curiouser and curiouser. XD
3378811
I'll admit to my inattentiveness on the first point, I often visit this website after work and am usually half dead while I read, that was entirely my bad, and I retract my statement regarding cerulean's description.
I thank you for your feedback as well and will continue to read and enjoy what has been, thus far, a very interesting and engaging story. And hey, I've never even written anything for this site short of a few snarky critiques and getting involved in a pretty nasty flame war, so take all my comments with a grain of salt.