DISCLAIMER: this is not a Scott Pilgrim parody.

Please don’t look for me.

Those words are found scrawled on a stretch of royal parchment. The hoof writing and the magical seal are both Celestia’s. Luna rises to the occasion and handles all royal duties, and Princess Sparkle is there to aid her, but it’s not enough. Panic and disarray sweep through not only Canterlot, but all of Equestria.

Why should Prince Blueblood care about that, though? He doesn’t care… He doesn’t care about the fate of a bunch of peasants… They riot about anything, after all. And Luna and Sparkle can both handle the ins and outs of an empire. The fate of his Aunt Tia is what keeps him up at night. It’s a comment against her that sets him off. And it’s a desperate hope to save her that will cost him…

Rated Teen for language, some violence, and some dark themes to come.

Updates daily.

(This story occurs after the events of "Biased and Incomplete")

Rainbow Dash was astonished when she encountered the real life Derring-Do that inspired her favorite string of novels, but was crushed to learn that her hero wasn't what she expected at all. The two parted ways in anger, but Dash hasn't given up on her completely: When an opportunity arises to heal the professor's crippled wing, Dash and Derring go on a real life adventure... but adventures have a way of spiraling out of control. The bookish archeologist knows nothing about swinging from vines and swiping ancient idols (and she prefers it that way), but an unbreakable curse of death forces her to dive right into a frantic race for the greatest discovery of all time: the secret to immortality itself.

Whether she believes it or not, Derring-Do has only a few short weeks left to live. But with the incomparable Rainbow Dash by her side, that's more than enough time to save the world.

This isn't where I belong. I left all this behind years ago, moved on with my life. But a mare from my past brought me back, and now she won't let me go. So I'm stuck here, trying to make the best of it with ponies that don't understand me, don't even like me. But when something moves in the darkness, and when things go wrong in the cold, dead night, they'll turn to me to try to set things right.

Why? Because once a police pony, always a police pony.
~~
This is a spin-off story to 'Why am I Pinkie Pie?!', and will contain spoilers for that story, but it's not necessary to read that story to understand this one.
Cover art by the talented Conicer
Need more Cinnamon Swirl? Merlos the Mad wrote a fanfic of this story!

There is now a side-story: A Hard Day's Nightmare Night

After an argument with Luna, Celestia realizes that she is the only creature in Equestria who cannot sleep in. She enlists Twilight to help, and the two of them come up with a spell that will allow her to spend the night on a different world. Unfortunately, all their research failed to reveal that the world they sought was populated. Now, the Princess must decide whether to continue with contact, or destroy the only non-Equestrian witness to their existence.

Cover art is called "Sleeping Celestia" by Briskby

When Twilight Sparkle slipped beneath the covers last night, everything had been fine. She had friends whom she loved, a teacher she adored, and a bright future ahead of her. But when she woke up, her blankets and quilts had been replaced by hospital gowns and padded restraints.

Everything is wrong and nothing makes sense; even her friends have changed. The doctors keep telling her that she is sick, that none of it was real and that it was all in her head. Yet she remembers a life far beyond the hospital walls. She couldn't have made it all up on her own. They must be lying… right?

Ask Asylum Twilight - Still updating regularly!
Equestria Daily
TVTropes
Asylum Fan Group
The Tartarus Project
Russian Translation
The Asylum 20,000 View Spectacular Stage Show!

Art:
Asylum Cover by conicer
Twilight and Twilight Smiles by dreamingnoctis
Mirror Twilight and Plague Doctor by Jaestring / BloodGoldWings
Twilight Smiles and Doctor AJ by conicer
Nurse Ratchet and Silas and What's in the mirror? by Archonix
Doctor AJ Sketch by Archonix | Colored and vectored version by ReFro82
Twilight's Asylum by Khan the Cake Lover
Smilight by HappySwitch
Twilight Waking Up by Dombrus
Fan Art by toxicdemon10
Asylum Twilight by Madness-With-Reason
Asylum Fluttershy and Asylum Ch 26 by Downburst-Backspace
Twilight and her Twin by v747
Birdgirl by sirValter

Readings and Videos:
Asylum Animated Trailer Video by formuladash
Reading by Gammarobot (SugarCubeRadio): All Chapters Here
Reading by Ender Brony: All Chapters Here
Reading by VisualPony: All Chapters Here
Reading by MelancholyIguana: All Chapters Here
Fan Trailer by Kaidan: Asylum FanFic Trailer Cuckoo's Nest

Sanctuary by Kaidan
Broadhoof Files: Dr. Humors by TypewriterError
Broadhoof Files: Corporal Phalanx Spear (Ret.) by Phalanx Spear
A Hearth's Warming Tragedy by Seven Fates

A special thanks to Breath of Plagues, Rex Ivan,
ChudoJogurt, Cynewulf, Death the Kid, Selbi, PrinceDolph, Blahman2816, Queue, and Gage!

Axan Zenith - Dr. Dreamer
Dratini4 - Way Finder
psychicscubadiver - Bright Mind
Velkaden - Dream Chaser
Reese - Silver Glow
Viola Heartstrings - Clover
Archonix - Spinney Whiteacre

This is a story about growing up. It's about chasing far fetched dreams even if it means leaving your home. It's about laughter between friends, maturing relationships, the hard end of trade and sales, and how the ties of friendship, though they may strain and stretch thin between cities, will never be broken. It's about the pursuit of your goals no matter the odds against you, and learning what we truly want won't always be what we first thought.

Flight and life lessons mix for Rainbow Dash, Spike, Scootaloo, and all of their friends as everpony reaches for the sky, supporting each other's dreams and hopes no matter where they may lead them.

Sparity

Twilight Sparkle was quite positive she could handle the job of teaching young unicorn students in Ponyville how to handle their new magic, but when the school’s traveling magic teacher returns to town as scheduled, a series of miscommunications and accidents nearly drive the two of them crazy. Only the power of friendship (and a certain amount of tinkering from the townsponies) can save the day for them and their students before complete disaster strikes, but maybe there is a little more than friendship in store for the two young teachers.
[Comedy][Education][Slice of Cake] Featured on Equestria Daily. With a TV Tropes page and two sequels, The Traveling Tutor and the Diplomat's Daughter and The Traveling Tutor and The Royal Exam.

A lighthearted look at education, young love, dating and buckets of water in the face in that most normal of all small towns, Ponyville.

Caution: Contains bananas, marble chips, jogging, matrimonial planning, romantic interference, intrigue, lesson plans and lots of nuts. A whole town full of them.

Rated I for Innuendo, some drinking, some sleeping together (Just sleeping! Really! Why won’t you believe me?) and a great deal of dunking in the town fountain.

No cupcakes were harmed in the production of this fic. However, a great number were eaten. And they were yummy.

Cover art by Tamalesyotole on DeviantArt
Available in paperback at Lulu.com at cost

Caramel wasn't always a Changeling, but he's going to become one. And he's going to do it for the sake of his very special somepony.

Young Nictis had one dream: to serve his hive by becoming an Infiltrator, the most vital and vaunted role a changeling could aspire to. To hide in plain sight among the other species, blending in, while gathering the vital emotional energies that fueled his people. Few were deemed worthy of the dangerous job. He was one of the few nymphs selected for training, in the hopes that one of them would develop the skills needed to be entrusted with such a treacherous task.

But when a training expedition ends in tragedy, Nictis finds himself thrust into the role not to serve his hive and people, but to preserve his own life. Separated from the hive, alone, he must put what little training he has to the test. He must blend in with the hive's greatest source of food, and its most dangerous enemy: the ponies of Equestria.

(This story takes place in the same continuity as Fragments, but stands on its own. Reading that story isn't necessary for this one.)

TV Tropes page

Book cover art by viwrastupr

Prince Blueblood dislikes being secret agent Double-O-Zeta, but since no pony does it better, the princesses won't let him quit. Trailing the mad unicorn Green Briar to Ponyville, though, Blueblood runs into Rainbow Dash, already investigating the odd new pony in the area. She resents this jerkwad of a prince suddenly butting in, and when circumstances force the two to work together, the unexpected feelings they arouse in each other might prove more dangerous than anything Green Briar has planned.

Inspired by TAW's Shipping Contest and finished with much thanks to Casca on mlpchan's /fic/ board, Aquillo and cheeze sauce over at Saltblock, and Bad Horse, Cloudy Skies and Skywriter here at FiMFiction. The adventure continues as well in the second Clandestine Corps adventure, Piefall!