Onto the Pony Planet
Next chapter of Celestia Sleeps In is right here; just click through.
I Wanted to Write a Story
Admiral Biscuit
9.19.13
Friends, it’s been quite a journey. Celestia Sleeps In was one of the first fanfiction stories I conceived in my head, although not the first published. I needed practice.
Maybe I should start a little further back. Like most of my readers, I’m not a 6-12 year old girl. I’m male and in my mid-thirties. I work during the week at an auto repair shop, and on the weekends, I work with developmentally disabled adults in group homes.
I got introduced to the show by way of the Cheezburger network. I was regularly amusing myself at work looking at demotivational posters and funny pictures of cats, when I came across my first pony meme. Then another.
Before too long, I was working with a guy that was a real handful (I finally stopped taking shifts with him when he attacked me in the van while I was driving, then ran through traffic to Family Video); during brief downtimes I was amusing myself by scrolling through pictures of pastel ponies. It was a great form of escapism.
I hadn’t watched any of the episodes. It took me months to work up the courage to do it. The easy part was getting the Friendship Express video from the library. I sat at the computer, looking at the DVD and looking at my pony wallpaper and worried. What if the episodes weren’t as good as the show I’d imagined? What then? Maybe I wouldn’t like the voice actors. As anyone who watches Futurama knows, once you’ve watched it, you can’t un-watch it. Bravely, I clicked the play button.
I loved it. Absolutely loved it. Before too long, I had bought all the episodes on iTunes (after watching them all on YouTube first). My unlimited data from Sprint peaked at 35,000,000 datas one month (I assume that’s 35GB).
All good things must come to an end, of course, and season two finally did. What could I do throughout the summer? I’m not going to claim that I wouldn’t have made it if I didn’t have my pony fix; I’ve probably got thousands (literally, thousands) of books I could amuse myself with. But there was just something compelling about the ponies. I wanted more.
I’ve always been more of a reader than a TV watcher. My parents threw out the TV before I was born, so I never really got into the habit of rotting my brain in front of it; rather, I was flopped out on the couch, reading through my dad’s collection of J.R.R. Tolkien or C.S. Lewis. By sixth grade, I’d moved on to more action-oriented stories, burning through the library’s entire collection of Alistair Maclean, Stephen King, and Piers Anthony. I devoured Clive Cussler, read as many Dragonlance books as I could convince friends to loan me, and got the idea in my head that maybe I could write my own story.
I still have the original copy of it somewhere, carefully written out in cursive pencil. It’s terrible. The idea was good; the execution was not. But I was undaunted. When I got to college, I had it in my mind to re-do the whole thing. Since I’d repeatedly gotten stuck on fiddly details, I just went through the whole thing without ever proofing it; then I went back and started fixing stuff.
My senior project was a short novel.
The next few years were pretty dry; I was coping with all the changes that accompany the transition from college life to adulthood. I moved four times, eventually finding myself nearly destitute and unemployed, and Christmas was coming.
So I wrote. I wrote and wrote. For the next few years, one of the presents I handed my parents each year was a new story. When my dad was down with knee replacement surgery, I sent him short stories nearly every day, to cheer him up.
Now back to the fanfiction. I had a less-than-charitable view of fanfiction writers. I knew that there was a large body of Harry Potter fanfiction, and while I liked the franchise, it held no interest for me. I figured that it was largely poorly-written wish-fulfillment stories by desperate middle-school aged kids who had no worldly experience whatsoever and probably couldn’t spell, either. I’m sure that I was largely right.
However. Being the curious and responsible person I am, I did my research. I started scouring fan sites for the most popular and best (not always the same thing) MLP fanfictions. I discovered such gems as It’s A Dangerous Business, Simply Rarity, Bubbles, and the Pony Psychology Series. I was hooked. I discovered FimFiction, and the marvelous feature box. Somehow, I began to read HiE stories. I’ve always had a fondness for Sci-Fi, and the first-contact scenario is fertile ground.
But as I read the stories, I became disillusioned. Many of them were the same wish-fulfillment story; many of them seemed to end in romance, either explicit or implied. I wanted more, and it was so difficult to find. I wanted the why and how behind the first-contact, but so many authors were glossing that over so that their character could get busy with a pony.
Then I read Arrow 18, and saw what the genre could be. I knew what I had to do.
The idea came about at work. Richard was late; his excuse was that he slept in. I muttered under my breath, “Celestia can’t sleep in,” and there was the first part. I thought about that during the day. Over a thousand years of leadership, the most powerful creature in Equestria . . . and she can never wake to the sun. Her only hope was to go somewhere else, where she didn’t control the sun, and let its warming rays play over her coat, get up, and then hurry back home to raise the Equestrian sun.
That same day, the idea of a hiker crowning a rise on the land and looking down at Celestia fast asleep in the early dawn, a bevy of guards around her, implanted itself in my mind and wouldn’t let go.
I wrote the story in one sitting; it was about 4000 words. It was pretty good, I thought. A nice little one-shot. It introduced the character of Dale (I have no idea how I chose his name).
But what happened next?
I could have submitted it as is. But I didn’t. Something about the story kept surfacing in my mind. My first two stories about Derpy were published and accepted. I was flattered that people were doing YouTube readings of them. Not Another Human In Equestria, a collection of HiE stories that were deliberately bad (well, most of them) was published and began garnering views. I kept thinking about Celestia Sleeps In. How would one go about making contact with a totally alien species? What if neither individual was a trained diplomat, linguist, or anything else? Just a man and a pony? Where would they meet? How would they avoid detection?
Now we delve into the next part of the story. Those of you who are reading this have no doubt been reading the author’s notes all along; if not, I recommend it. I had to do . . . research.
There’s a book I have by Ridley Pearson. It’s called Parallel Lies. It’s about railroads. Now, I’m not an expert. I’m a fan—I won’t deny that—but I’m no expert. If you asked me whether the Union Pacific or the Burlington Northern Santa Fe had more track mileage, I couldn’t tell you. This guy, though . . . he claims he had researchers help him. If he did, they either sucked or he just ignored them. I found the first major mistake on page 3: deadman’s switches not only cut engine power, they also put the brakes in emergency. A few paragraphs later, Ridley mentions that a locomotive weighs ten tons. A Kenworth weighs ten tons; a locomotive is more than ten times that. I did read the whole book . . . but I found more amusement at picking out the grievous errors than the plotline.
I’d thought, once upon a time, that writing fiction would be easy. After all, it’s not like a research paper on Poe, where one actually needs to read scholarly works . . . in a nutshell, I was wrong. Ridley Pearson showed me what happens if you don’t research. Simple questions need to be answered: what’s the golden breastplate that Celestia wears properly called, if anything? If real horses sleep standing up, why don’t ponies? How tall are they in comparison to a human? Most of this was fairly easily answered with internet research.
But other questions were more difficult. The problem with research is that one has to know where to look, and that’s not always easy. I recruited my parents early; they’re of Dale’s age, and my mother is a linguist. For what it’s worth, she figured Dale’s task was pretty much hopeless. I started asking questions about accents as I decided how their language might be written; I was fortunate in finding a co-worker who was educated in France. I even ate a chrysanthemum and cucumber sandwich, just to see what it tasted like (it was the wrong time of year to find daisies). Yes, I checked whether they were toxic first.
As time went on, I was putting my heart and soul in the work. There were times I should have stopped; times I staggered into work on a few hours of sleep because I was up late answering comments or writing another chapter. I skipped a SCA event I’d been to every year for the last 15—the story was more important. I sat on the edge of my chair, watching the view count tick up one-by-one, agonizing every time I got a downvote. What had I done wrong? How come that reader didn’t see it for the masterpiece it obviously was?
Eventually, I came to realize that there would be unhappy people no matter what I did. Virtually all of my stories have at least one downvote; I like to think it’s the same guy. I can picture him, hunched over his computer keyboard, muttering, “Admiral Biscuit published another story. Better downvote.” That’s ok. I can live with that.
Now here we are, just shy of a year after the story was conceived. It’s 145,000 words long; that’s about as long as The Two Towers. If it were published in paperback form, it’d be over 400 pages long.
I’m an old-school book guy; this whole fanfiction thing is new to me. I posted a question on my blog about whether I should make this a trilogy or not, and the votes were generally for ‘not.’ But the fact is, the way I envisioned it in my head, it’s a trilogy. It slowed me down, struggling to keep going when—in my mind—the story was over. While I might not have the instincts of a popular published author, I’ve got to go with my gut here; the story was always meant to be three parts, and that’s just how it’s gotta be.
So, now for a glimpse behind the curtain. I promised some people I’d give an insight into Dale’s character.
I’ve heard it said that you can’t write what you don’t know. I personally don’t buy that for a second . . . imagine how drab our bookshelves would be if they solely consisted of autobiographies. I can’t argue that experience makes a better writer, though. I think the right mix is a compromise between the two: write what you know and research what you don’t.
Dale is largely an amalgam of my grandfather, my father, and myself. He’s not college educated, and stuck with one career his whole life—much like my grandfather. He’s a generally self-made man. He’s patient, thinking before he acts, but he can act quickly if he has to. For his age, he’s pretty accepting of social change. All those traits could be found in my grandfather. From my father, Dale’s age and his love of science fiction, as well as the perspective of a man who’s travelled overseas (my grandfather never left North America). It was my father who provided the memories of the moon landing, and it was my father who speculated with me on language, what Dale might and might not know. He found the nautical charts for North Fox Island, and we went over them together. While he’s not fool enough to actually canoe out to North Fox (it’s possible, but risky), in Dale’s situation, I think he’d react about the same way. Finally, we get to myself. I was the one doing the experiments and taste tests; I was the one who read all the stories and novels that Dale recounts. All of them were old enough that he would know of them.
I want to go back to my grandfather for a bit. He was born in Anne Arundel County Maryland, in 1913. His life always seemed a bit like a mystical story to me, and one of my regrets was that I never had time to write a biography of him. In the eyes of history, he was nobody special—I want to make that clear. He went to school, dropped out of college, got a job at the Baltimore assembly plant, worked his way up to Fisher Body, and eventually retired. He died in 2009. It always amazed me at the changes he saw in the world as he aged: horses disappearing off the streets to be replaced with automobiles and trucks. The biplanes and blimps patrolling the naval air station being replaced with jets, and eventually satellites and UAVs. Perhaps he didn’t understand all of it—he certainly never got a computer—but he saw it. Looking through his old photo albums was like looking through a history book.
He was a very practical man, not given to flights of fantasy. He had a leaf-vac that he dragged behind his tractor. When it wore out, he bought a new one. The first thing he did with it was take it apart, since he didn’t like the design. He spent all winter re-building it into what he wanted. When he finally had to begin using a cane, he modified one, knotting a monkey’s fist for his hand and a turk’s-head knot around the middle, and since he used to make his own fishing rods, it was only natural that he’d put custom windings on it.
I can’t think of anyone who would be more qualified to meet a unicorn on a remote beach. I think he would approach it in the slow, methodical way he approached everything else.
The idiot ball.
I only include this because it’s one of the ongoing complaints I’ve noticed. People will say, “Why doesn’t Dale immediately recognize magic? How come Lyra doesn’t know what a canoe is?” Without citing other examples, I’ll just say that in a realistic first-contact scenario, both parties are limited by their experiences. To use the above examples, in modern society, an American would be more likely to imagine that a thing which he cannot explain is powered by some sort of fantastic tech, rather than magic. Do I know how my cell phone works? Not really. I’ve got a general idea of circuits and cell phone towers, but I certainly can’t open the thing up and say, “that’s the antenna.” Do I think it works on magic? No. Given the tech level in Equestria, boats aren’t made of metal, they’re made of wood. Lyra’s first impression on seeing an 18’ pointy metal object would not be “it’s a boat.” Especially since it isn’t in the water, and it is upside-down. If you told Columbus that he should build the Santa Maria out of aluminum and steel, he’d look at you like you were a special kind of madman.
The fact is, in a realistic first-contact story, neither party can assume anything about the second party. Just because it looks similar doesn’t mean it is. In terms of basic biological requirements, I’ve been merrily allowing every kind of helpful coincidence imaginable: they do breathe the same atmosphere, they do eat the same kind of food, gravity is roughly the same, etc. Both parties have been able to come to mostly-correct conclusions much faster than they would in a real first-contact situation, based on their coincidentally similar worlds. But, just to use our own solar system for an example: imagine if there were intelligent life on Jupiter. What kind of houses might they build? How would their eyesight differ from ours? What effect would earth gravity have on them?
I can’t make my readers like this story, of course. You either think I’m doing well, or you don’t. But to those of you who are on the fence, I ask you this: whenever you see a character jumping to a conclusion that you know is wrong, ask yourself why. Because I can tell you, loyal reader: whenever a character makes a mis-step, I was there. I was looking at it, thinking what does this object signify? I probably gave my pre-readers grey hairs (the commenting on the cupcake was . . . lively, to say the least), but I think I got it mostly right.
In fact, I have a challenge for you. Look around your computer or tablet or smart phone or neural implant, or whatever you’re using to get these words into your brain. Pick up something—it doesn’t matter what. Look at it carefully. Now imagine that you don’t know what it is. Maybe you’ve been raised in a cave by wolves, having no concept of life outside the forest. Imagine that you’ve never seen that object before. Maybe it’s a book, maybe it’s a half-empty can of Coke. Doesn’t matter. Look at it as if it were an alien artifact of unknown significance. What does it tell you? What does it imply? Are there images on it? If so, would you recognize them, or might they be foreign to you? Would you be able to tell the difference between the image being a photograph or a drawing? If it’s a machine (and I use this term in the loosest sense), would you be able to identify how it worked? How might you go about identifying its properties? What might you misinterpret? Feel free to comment; I’d love to hear what you discover.
I should close this off, I guess, with a friendship report, since that seems apt.
It’s hard to imagine that it’s been almost a year since I started working on the story. During the course of that year, I learned a lot about myself. I learned that I can write novel-length stories, if I put my mind to it. I learned that I can publish them in front of what we in the theatre world call ‘a hostile audience,’ and most of them will actually like it. I learned that a great number of you are willing to put in your own time commenting—both the good and the bad—and respectfully sharing your opinions. I’ve found a number of people who are willing to speculate with me, and go down the rabbit-hole hand-in-hand.
Some of my readers have volunteered to pre-read, and I’m indebted to them. There are countless corrections which they have made, both small and large. I’m greatly indebted to the reader who first posted a link to my story on the SpaceBattles forum. It wasn’t what one would call a flattering review, but it garnered interest. As they say in showbiz, any publicity is good publicity.
Finally, I want to thank Cynewulf. He suggested in a comment that I write something about my experiences writing, and so I did. I hope you enjoyed your peek behind the curtain.
It’s been a wonderful journey with you so far. Won’t you travel with me just a little bit further?
— admiral biscuit
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*Claps* My good man, you have certainly written on of the most interesting tales I've had the privilege to read on this site, and given the effort and thought you have put into every aspect of it, it is easy to see why. All I can say is Bravo, and I am more than eager to continue on this wonderful adventure you've started.
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Thank you so much!
as i was reading the names of the authors you enjoy i was thinking i like those authors to! but then i thought You like Clive Cussler but which of his series? are you a Dirk Pitt kind of guy, or do you read from the N.U.M.A. files? with Piers Anthony did you enjoy the Xanth books or do you prefer some of his other work?(I do) Which got me to thinking what other authors do you enjoy?(I Really like Anne McCaffrey and Terry Pratchet)
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It took a while to work up the courage to tell them that I was writing fanfic . . . heck, it took a while to tell them I was watching MLP: FiM. But they're very supportive, and they're both very smart, too.
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It's quite a list, to be honest. I like all of Cussler's novels (and I loved that in his autobiography he mentioned Alistair MacLean; that's not a well-known author here in the states).
Xanth got a little repetitive after a while; my favorite series was the Mode series. I've read a lot of sci-fi, but don't have a particular favorite author. I like a lot of the older stuff better, because it was more hopeful: much of the newer sci-fi seems awfully distopian, and I'm ever an optimist.
I also have read a lot of Robert B Parker, Ed McBain, Tamora Pierce (targeted towards adolescent girls, again, but hey. . . ). Harry Potter was pretty good, but kind of predictable. I also like Gaimen, he's one of the best at blending mythologies, in my opinion.
I used to read a lot of Stephen King, but he just doesn't pique my interest like he did.
Hailey was good; he generally wrote knowledgeably about a particular field (auto manufacturing, power generation, etc.); he's also a forgotten author. One of the terrible Airport movies was based off one of his books (and Airplane! was a parody of it).
The Hunger Games was pretty good; it was kind of predictable until the third book. The Golden Compass series got darker and more depressing as it went on; I really liked it. A Flock of Ships by Brian Callison was very influential back in the day.
I also like reading educational books; maybe it shows in my writing style. There's always been a part of me that wants to take things apart and see how they work, whether they be machines or societies.
I guess I could go on for a while
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Oh man... Dirk got me through countless boring hours at school. Whether it was because I'd finished the day's assignments early, I was at lunch or we had a class cut so short the teacher just said "screw it. Kill 12 minutes however you please", the Pitt made school and bus rides considerably more bearable than they really had any right to be. Must have gone through 5 or 6 books just in senior year alone. Nice to finally see someone else who's heard of either the character or the author.
Hmm. I wonder if you've got a nice bit of Cussler leaking into your story. It did feel a tad familiar when I first found it, though that could easily just be the result of reading so many HiE fics. Regardless of which it is (if not both), keep up the awesome work.
x5
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It's really hard to tell, to be honest. I can immerse myself in a particular author or style and emulate it for the sake of a story, but it usually doesn't last. If I wanted to write steampunk, for example, I'd probably read a lot of Poe or maybe Doyle first, just to get a handle on how they write. I have noticed that I've read enough British authors that I often slip into British spellings . . . which gDocs doesn't catch.
Unlike you, I most definitely am no wordsmith, so I shall keep it short.
It has been an amazing ride so far, and I have no doubt future contact between Dale and the ponies will be just as great.
Firstly, found this story through the sequel and started reading the suspicious last chapter with the same name first.
You know I was always under the impression that that wasn't about events or technologies so much as it was characters. That you couldn't write characters you didn't know, that in the end any decent character would be based at least partly on some aspect of yourself or someone you knew.
I... have to disagree. Those facts being merely a "helpful coincidence" would be highly counter intuitive. In the description you stated the premise was a deliberately crafted spell to take Celestia to another world, but anyone with half a brain much less a millennium of experience would include safeguards to ensure that they ended up on a world that was survivable. The best way to do that being to target a world as close as possible to your own. Thus, far from being a unreasonable coincidence to criticize, this is in fact a highly reasonable and rather realistic component which raises my hopes for my enjoyment of this story.
Sharp, pointy, artificial, dangerous. This is likely a weapon and the species that made it is potential dangerous.
What? I happened to pick up a knife... they ain't very complicated and are pretty simple to figure out.
EDIT :
Huh... I wonder if anyone else is actually going to do that 'pick something up' challenge and actually post their results...
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That's probably the most realistic view of it. Nevertheless, I've read a number of good stories by published authors who have a character that clearly isn't themselves . . . not in any way, shape, or form. It's hard to get out of that basic box . . . I wonder, sometimes, if my love of roleplaying has helped in that regard. I've had characters die because of poor choices they made--choices that I, as the player knew were bad, but that the character wouldn't've (the most memorable being a second-level swashbuckler challenging a sixteenth-level anti-paladin to a duel because the anti-paladin insulted him).
That's certainly a good argument, especially since I did strongly suggest that the Royal Guard looked over the island before Celestia went there. However, given the number of sapient species in Equestria, I've always felt that the ponies would be at a bit of a disadvantage, since they'd jump to conclusions based on their own experience of multiple sapient species sharing a planet, rather than a situation like our own, where there's only one. Even on a planet that looks alike, a few small molecular shifts here and there would spell certain doom for anyone who ventured forth . . . and the ponies probably don't know about viruses, bacteria, radiation, or any of the other things that we know can doom us on a foreign planet . . . or even in a foreign country. In short, they'd probably have picked a planet that looked kind of the same and which had a breathable atmosphere, and would be merrily ignorant of any other possible drawbacks to said choice.
Of course, the characterization of them in the show makes this a much easier leap.
I hope so. I really would be interested in the results.
A knife is a pretty easy thing to identify. Probably any advanced society would have invented them. But what does it tell you? You know it's made of more complex materials than a flint knife, for example. Would you (as an alien) recognize stainless steel? Could you tell that it had been mass-produced? Might it signify a violent culture (you're keeping a knife by your computer), a well-prepared culture (never know when you might need to cut something), or even a primitive culture where it's your most valued possession?
Almost tldr'd this, but I believed it would be helpfully informative so I didn't. :)
We did the thought experiment. Disabling all object and linguistics recognition databases excepting core classes needed for critical declaration and classification, we discovered over one thousand possible objects in our field of view from looking at the desk I'm sitting at now. After sorting by major unit, color, reflectivity, apparent mass, and size, we were still no closer to identifying almost anything or determining purpose, relation, or potential interactions between objects. Frustrated I imported basic shapes and levels one through five general object collection classification databases for general use, and patterning detection routines, and I was able to recognise the keyboard and desk drawers. The computer monitor (which was displaying a screensaver) was classified as potentially living non-moving object, and some of the bins as modular storage and/or transportation implements static. ...
Well, it goes on, but being unable to relate experiences to past information makes for a very difficult time doing anything. Granted I probably took it too far, but it's something that can be learned from either way.
Now here I go to read the actual chapter. ;p
Out of curiosity, have you read A Voice Among the Strangers? In my humble opinion, it is the best HiE story on the site, trumping even the magnificence that is Arrow 18 (and I'm a big fan of Arrow 18). Since you're interested in first-contact scenarios and HiE done right, I definately encourage you to check it out. It's one of the few HiE stories where the human is a girl, and one that doesn't shy away from adressing the realistic problems a Human would face in Equestria (from language barrier to sanitary matters to that female-exclusive problem of a certain time of the month). Highly recommended to anybody interested in what the HiE could be if done right.
I actually gave my cat a "first" look in that fashion. Cats are really weird looking. Looked like a rabbit-mouse-thing with a strange head and long neck. I have looked at bits of many things and speculated at what they are. Its very hard to figure out without seeing it in context.
My experience with these little electrical connecters, spades (I think), for example. I found some spilled on the ground in front and around the area of an electrical store. I knew they were components of something and that they were the whole piece because some looked unspoiled and they all looked roughly the same. I noted they all had a plastic end and a pronged metal end. I could not figure out what they were for months, even thought I have worked with things that have a similar function: computer connectors. I had to be told what such a simple device was.
Perhaps because of such experiences, I had no problem understanding and believing the difficulties faced in your story. Bravo.
Respectfully,
The Smileyrat
3231506
I tried picking up a computer mouse. I quickly realised that without knowing what it was, there was no way I could work out what it was supposed to be used for - especially if it wasn't plugged in.
>>>I’d thought, once upon a time, that writing fiction would be easy. After all, it’s not like a research paper on Poe, where one actually needs to read scholarly works . . . in a nutshell, I was wrong. Ridley Pearson showed me what happens if you don’t research. Simple questions need to be answered: >>>
*Alondro cries tears of joy* This sums up so many of my long-winded rants about so many feeble fanfics.
Fiction must maintain INTERNAL PLAUSIBILITY and INTERNAL CONTINUITY, as well as making sure what the characters should know and shouldn't know (and should be able to simply figure out via reason/common sense) by virtue of their personality, experience, and intelligence.
Writing GOOD fiction is very hard work indeed!
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I have, indeed. More than once. I'm also reading the sequel.
I never minded that Dale didn't know it was magic immediately. He was still on EARTH, and thus the assumption that these were hyper-advanced aliens playing god was entirely feasible.
Now, had he been in Equestria and seen a sampling of that world, then the basis for thinking 'alien technology' weakens tremendously. It's all about subjective placement and availability of information as to whether a character's assumptions make sense when in opposition to what the reader knows to be 'fact'.
Logic. *Alondro is more Vulcan than Spock*
3235751
Deliberate!
I loved this. I giggled to myself a couple times at the characters interactions, especially at dale. I remember remarking aloud "he's a science fiction fan!"
The fact that you put so much effort into this really makes it go the extra mile. I'm really happy I took the time to read the last "chapter" in particular.
I for one am both happy and annoyed that this is a trilogy. I'm happy because I read a huge amount of literature, and lengthy, well written stories are my passion. I'm slightly annoyed because I read so quickly, and it's incomplete,
I'll be waiting patiently on more of this.
Addendum- I have to say, some of your descriptions of the human and pony observations downright astounded me. I couldn't for the life of me figure out exactly what they were observing, and yet if I was looking at it, the answer would immediately come to mind. I'm unsure if that's bad, or if you managed to capture an alien perspective on human objects. I hope it's that latter, so bravo for that.
An excellent read. I'm certainly glad I wandered onto this story. My one regret is reading nearly all of it in one sitting.
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On the plus side, unlike traditional published fiction, you won't have to wait months . . . or years for the next update. I read King's The Gunslinger in '89; the last book finally came out in 2004. Anthony's Mode series had a ten-year wait between books 3 and 4. I promise my updates will be faster than that!
I tried to be as obscure as possible without being deliberately obtuse. Some of the items were meant to leave one guessing, yet they're all logical in their setting.
Thank you for such a well though out and deliberatly mind burning variation of first contact between humans and ponies.
I wonder if Dale ever read Pratchett, and so might have had inklings of magic that way, or even L space.
Aldis Lamps? What happened to the Spectraheliograph from Newtons times? You know, use a prism to split white light into a rainbow, block one colour, recombine, forms a single beam, at the reciever, pass through a prism, and see the gap?
Then again, how much technology, recipies etc have been lost over the centuries.
Definitely hoping for more. thank you.
I am sorry about the wait for me to read this, but I had been under a forced absence from the internet for a week. I shall begin reading the sequel ASAP.
So, I guess this is a goo point to summarize my feelings on the story.
The good part: the writing is reasonably engaging, the characters are mostly relatable (see below) and the pacing is good.
The bad part:
Here's the thing - it's not a realistic first-contact scenario. Equestria is based on USA. The Griffons are the fucking French. That is not to say you can't do a meeting of alien cultures feel - Cultural Artifacts was doing quite well until the mother of all jumping sharks. But CA had an armed and distrustful hermit port in with a whole house - the ponies had both a lot more difficulty getting the guy to communicate and could see more confusing human culture then they could understand and trip over minutiae. You went looking for misunderstanding in the wrong places. Very stupid places.
Twilight and Lyra don't know what a tent looks like. I can't believe I have to explain this, but ponies go camping and sleep in tents exactly like human ones. In a realistic first contact scenario it wouldn't be so easy to identify a tent, but that's because the aliens' standard temporary shelter looks like a satellite dish and is made out of insta-growing metastable crystals.
Mu favorite stupid moments:
* Twilight the base supremacist who only now realizes that positional systems have fractions with infinite representations regardless of base. Hint Twi: it's any fraction with a denominator that has prime factors that are not prime factors of the base.
* The tent thing.
* Celestia is oblivious to the horn ring effects.
That is not even getting into the asinine assumptions. However, my #1 stupid moment is...
I don't think you realize how frivolous this is. The ponies perform their first space travel to satisfy this fancy and do not even think about the possibility of encountering aliens on a planet specifically selected for having life on it.
So here's, for me, the hands-down stupidest moment in Celestia Sleeps in. When the ponies upon encountering an alien freak out and talk about killing him because of the unknown threat he represents after undertaking their first forage into space with all the gravity of Celestia putting on a Hawaiian shirt, grabbing a bottle of booze, and going gallivanting around the galaxy on a vacation.
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You're quite welcome!
No, he probably wouldn't have read Pratchett; however, he would undoubtedly be familiar with Lord of the Rings and The Chronicles of Narnia. For that matter, given that the story's set in 2012, he'd be aware of Harry Potter, too, although he probably wouldn't have read the books.
I'm not sure that would be as useful for transmitting a message. One of the advantages of the Aldis is that you don't need a receiver other than the human eye, and the signal can't be interfered with or intercepted. According to my research, they're still used to some extent on Navy and Coast Guard boats.
Quite true! Some of them have been re-discovered at a later date, and many others have not.
I've always loved a good sci-fi read and the human/pony first contact scenario has been brilliantly done.
Cylindrical with uniform curve, metal with a wide horizontal slot near top. Domed top is removable. Constructed of some unidentifiable brown metal that has been bent/rolled and joined together . A symbol and some markings have been engraved upon its surface. Interior is filled with metal tokens of multiple kinds, however each kind is identical, save for wear and tear.
What is it?
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From your description, I'd guess a piggy bank. From evidence on the show, their coinage is gold, so if they had an expert on metals (or maybe metals all feel different in a TK field) the ponies might assume that the coins were either counterfeit or that they weren't actually coins at all. It wouldn't be unreasonable to think that they were tokens for some kind of a game.
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Yeah, it's a piggy bank, but shaped like a post box. Coins are effectively tokens yet all tokens are not coins hence my use of the word. There weren't that many things to hand...
Wait, what? This seems like a really weird place to end the story. I mean, not that you are actually ending the story here, but multi-volume stories usually have at least a little mini-conclusion at the end of the volume, a sense that one part of the story is over and another begins. Here, though, it kind of just... stops. And then the 'sequel' picks up again at the exact same point, such that I wonder why it's even a separate story to begin with.
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Because Discord
Alright, so, just finished the fic (five chapter push that started on my commute home and was largely helped by how quiet Skype was tonight), and I have opinions.
First, I love First Contact fics. Whether it's between two cultures, two wildly different individuals, or two species, that initial clash and confusion and resolution of two different worlds meeting for the first time is pretty much my favorite thing to encounter (pun half-intended, sorry) in fiction. And yeah, I do agree with some of your sentiment there - a lot of the Human in Equestria fics anywhere and everywhere are largely wish-fulfillment with several notable and/or entertaining exceptions. But you've done the reverse, and done it sci-fi step-by-step proper, and it pleases me because these are the nitty gritty details that get glossed over by so many authors because shit keeps going down and the protagonists have to go do stuff, not focus on bridging communication and trying to build a good and diplomatic first impression and why is that again?
Oh right, Plot. Narrative and conflict and character development and all those things that actually make for... story.
I love your nitty-gritty everything-is-new bits of the Lyra/Dale encounter sessions, and your story will always rank highest in my heart for Human/Pony first contact scenarios, but... To be honest, every other part of your story falls short.
There is no cohesive theme to speak of until roughly the point where First Encounter happens, and all throughout the story there are no driving or major conflicts to move events along or drive changes in character. I mean, yes, this is clearly a defining moment for Dale and every Equestrian involved pony-side, but then why did Trixie get involved? Why the revolving focus on the growing sibling friction between the Royal Sisters? I mean you are clearly planting the seeds for narrative in your sequels, but they serve very little purpose here. The whole training sequence between Twilight and Trixie never comes back into play for the remainder of the story, and we spent the entire first chapter on it! The first chapter introduces concepts and themes that are supposed to recur throughout the story, not be a... a throwaway for setting up the main focus of the story! Isn't that what the prologue is for!?
Actually, that brings me to your narrative choices in a more specific sense. I'm guessing there is some literary influence I'm missing here which lead to the widely varied series of POV fragments and frequent POV switching within chapters. I'm also going to go out on a limb and suggest you really need an editor? Especially one with an eye for narrative flow? I've questioned nearly every time a scene was "broken" in favor of switching to a new perspective and scene, especially when there is such an abrupt change of focus that I'm taken out of the story in order to switch gears. In nearly every chapter where Dale's progress and Lyra's/Equestria's progress on First contact was the focus, the POV switching worked because it highlighted the information coming from both sides and broadened the reader's understanding of the scene. Meanwhile, other chapters are scattered with seemingly random tidbits and speckles of perspective going back to this largely faded and comparatively boring narrative thread involving Celestia v. Luna and Trixie v. Just about Everything Else. Why? I ceased to care about these things because they sort of hang out for their five-second return to the spotlight, and don't tie themselves back into what appears to have become the main focus of the story. They are just scenes getting in the way of other scenes. Do they have purpose? Oh, I'm sure they do; but they're still annoying and FEEL superfluous.
Related to the POV switches but only in a technical sense, what on earth drove you to end scenes where you did? Once again, Lyra/Dale switchovers have overlap which allow for ease of transition, but cutting out in the middle of Dale examining his sandwich does not seem like a great time to suddenly check in on Equestria! It's rather jarring to say the least, and rather than fueling curiosity and addiction like a good cliff-hanger does, I feel confused and perturbed and occasionally aggravated, like somebody grabbing the remote and switching channels right in the middle of a character saying something. In fact, it's almost exactly like that - the scene with the lunch exchange specifically was starting a non-verbal dialogue where Dale and Lyra were learning about each other's food preferences, and right as we're about to hear from the other side BAM! HERE COMES TWILIGHT AND LUNA FOR SOME REASON. The flow of the scene is cut, and whatever moment of fascinatingly awkward cultural exchange that may have been building up scatters like so much ash. It is my belief that scenes, especially scenes that are focused around interaction between characters, have an ebb and flow to them, and it's a lot less dissonant to narrative flow if you cut out at a good stopping point, when the scene is taking a breath for its next big moment. Obviously there are exceptions to this, but it seems like the kind of thing where you have to master the concept before you can start breaking the rules.
The same goes for your chapters, darn it. NONE of your chapters end on a satisfying note, and by which I mean it feels like you do the mid-ebb scene cut again except with an entire CHAPTER.... only to resume the scene again on the next chapter??? Seriously, what the hell? Why did you even bother with the chapter break to begin with then!?
Alright, this has devolved into a rant, which means it's time to stop typing.
To be fair to your story, the Lyra/Dale bits had me riveted to my screen during lunch breaks and commutes both, and I really do have to give you a LOT of credit for going the distance on research. You were going for as realistic a scenario as you could possibly conceive, and the effort shows.
I suppose this is what I get though, for walking into a documentary and expecting a drama.
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A container vessel with a grip on one side, currently holding some manner of liquid.
The liquid is a mixture, containing mainly water. Currently at above room temperature. Analysis shows it contains a bean as it's primary non-liquid component. Conclusion: it's bean soup. The mixture also contains a large amount of sucrose. Energy source? If so it would indicate a high energy need; potentially indicating this individual is highly athletic. The substance has also been processed such that little solid matter remains; possibly indicating an inability to eat solid foods. Whether it is species wide or limited to the individual due to some injury (temporary?) is indeterminable.
As for the container itself, it is pure white with no ornamentation. There are a couple of possibilities. One is that the species or individual is extremely poor and cannot afford even basic decoration. Another is that the culture is extremely utilitarian or Ascetic and rejects ornamentation as inefficient or distracting. A further possibility is that, while possessing some level of technological prowess, the culture has not developed anything we would consider art.
The material is some manner of ceramic. As such it seems unlikely that the culture has invented cheap stainless steel or aluminium. Both of these materials would prove superior as a vessel, due to not shattering when dropped, and due to the item's lack of ornamentation we can surmise that it is unlikely that the item's existence is for aesthetic or sentimental reasons.
(Cup of Coffee in Plain White Mug)
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Yes, we paid a lot for our technology. But why does that mean you get to decide that the ponies don't get it?
Multitudes of those people developed that technology to help people or make the universe a better place or do something good. Many of which would also consider the ponies to be people and as such giving it to them would be in accord with their ideals, not violating them.
Openness of knowledge and information is part of science. It does not insult the process but vindicate its ideals by being open.
Spreading our technology would not be an insult to the people who developed our technology but a great complement. It would mean that their work impacted more people. That it changed more of the universe. That it did more and achieved more. It would mean that we considered their work good enough to share. And that the ponies considered it good enough to adopt for themselves. I'm currently working on some technology research myself and while it's unlikely to be of any use to the ponies if something I researched helped such beings I'd be pleased by that, just as I would be pleased if it ended up helping humans.
Besides, we might be able to leverage that into getting some stuff that we want from the ponies. Enchanted artifacts, etc.
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Good point. Especially the "beat cop" thing. Also, awesome pick! I saved it as "ponies vs pepper spray". Guess who won?
Yes, for science!
The ponies have spent a lot of time speaking as if humans are the same and think the same and act the same as ponies, so if they think no one will care if someone goes missing, then that is because the ponies themselves would not care if somepony went missing. That was my thinking.
Humans always find a way. We have proven that literally countless times. Plus, you said you are trying to put a rational spin on magic. If it is rational, humans can understand it. If humans can understand it, humans can manipulate it.
Yes, but even before we used tools we used our hands and fists and still took down opposing predators that usually outnumbered us. Our main advantage is our endurance and maneuverability, being on two legs. Besides, arrow 18 is right when Twilight and Celestia surmise that humans are predators based on certain things, like the placement of our eyes and other things. Now that I think about it, we're pretty freaking scary, huh.
I wasn't really expecting a response. Especially not to every comment. I really do appreciate it, though!
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I hadn't thought of it that way, but that's a valid interpretation of what Lyra said. I didn't mean it to come across as they didn't care that somepony had died or gone missing, but that they probably wouldn't devote a great amount of resources to finding that pony, unless it were a foal or somepony that the town--or her friends--considered valuable (like when they tracked down Applejack).
I've always considered our brains to be our biggest asset, allowing us to apply non-conventional techniques to problem-solving, and learning from other people's mistakes (Bob got bitten by a striped snake and died. Better watch out for striped snakes). I'm not an authority on early human development, though.
.
I've got a couple of gripes against the "eyes" and "teeth" arguments (and this is in no way a complaint against Arrow 18, everybody who's read the author's notes knows it was a huge inspiration for my work): as depicted in the show, ponies also have forward facing eyes, and they're not predators. Yes, in real life predator animals usually have forward facing eyes and prey animals usually have more sideways-looking eyes (I'm sure there's exceptions), and depending on how one wishes to portray the ponies, that can be a valid conclusion (that is, does the author assign them more horse-like attributes, or leave them as they're drawn in the show). It could also be a case of them coming to the right conclusion for the wrong reason. If I remember correctly, in Arrow 18 Twilight believed that the astronaut was an ambush predator, and she wasn't far from the truth in that.
My second complaint is the teeth--which is a common theme. The human has big scary canines, thus he's a predator. Of course, our canines are pretty small compared to the monsters in the show (and Spike); more importantly . . . real-life stallions have canine teeth, too. (between 25 and 30% or mares do as well, although not always a complete set.) They're usually filed off on domestic horses, since they interfere with the bit and can cause ulcers on the tongue.
Yes. Rough copy from the upcoming chapter: Twilight turned her attention back to Dale. It was her first close-up look at him. The drawings in the visual dictionary hadn't done him justice, she thought. After the incident with Zecora, she'd researched various sapient species of Equestria, and spent a weekend in Canterlot during a summit actually watching the real thing. All of them were unique, but none of them seemed quite as . . . artful as him. It was almost as if he had been designed, somehow, by a skilled craftspony.
I've found the speculation in comments in some fics (Arrow 18, Just Passing Through, Stardust by Arad, among others) to be almost as interesting as the stories themselves. There was a discussion in the comments of Just Passing Through about the energy potential of liquid rainbow, and if you scroll through comments on this story, there's a discussion about mass-producing and mass-enchanting pony phones (among other things). One of the real benefits that this type of publishing has--and I'm not only referring to fan fiction--is the ability to carry on a meaningful dialogue between the reader and the author. It's not much of a dialogue if only the reader participates, in my opinion.
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It's the first part of a trilogy. I suppose I could just mention them when they become important, but that seems like I'm cheating the reader to do it that way. I personally enjoy that aha! moment when what seemed like a throwaway detail a dozen chapters back suddenly turns out to have been a significant plot point. To throw a couple of questions back at you: do you think that Twilight might make an interesting discovery if she tries to detect magic on Dale or Kate (which she learned from Trixie)? Could there be something significant in Trixie's crystal-growing skill, or the fact that her parents are mixed-breed (unicorn and earth pony)? Is there a reason Luna doesn't seem to like Twilight all that much (it's canon; watch her expressions in the Crystal Empire episodes), even after she warmed to her in Luna Eclipsed?
Some people don't like subplots, which is fine. I'm not going to claim that I've handled every thread of my story with skill and aplomb; in real life I'm an auto mechanic, and we've got a philosophy that if it won't move, we need a bigger hammer. People (and ponies) are more complex, of course, and it's frowned upon to hit either with a hammer. I suppose there's a chance that this philosophy's seeping into the story, though. In some ways, I've got the same amount of subtlety as a shark in a bathtub.
I hadn't really thought about literary influence . . . my reading kind of runs the gamut, I guess. It's entirely likely that some of my thoughts for pacing, timing, and POV shifts come from my decades in theatre. The only writing class I ever took was playwriting, and while I've thrown together a few novellas, none of them have ever been presented to a 'hostile audience' before (which is to say, an audience that's not composed of your peers).
I've got--as of now--five pre-readers, who do what they can when they can. Were this a potentially profitable venture (like, I could pay them), I would. As it is, I appreciate every minute they spend out of their lives helping me along; I'm pre-reading for another author and it probably takes two hours per thousand words to read, comment, research, and so forth.
I'm trying to be more careful about that in the next 'book' (Onto the Pony Planet), because you aren't the only one to complain about location shifts and subplots. I've never written anything that even comes close to the length and complexity of this story, and it's a learning experience.
I can't disagree with that. I generally give each chapter one read from a flow sense, and it seems to work for me. Given the wide variety of narrative styles I've read, I've come to the determination that there is no one-size-fits-all style. Alistair MacLean, for example, tended to be quite verbose in his scene-setting descriptions, while Robert B. Parker is heavily focused on dialogue, to the point that some of his books look more like a script than a novel. Different strokes for different folks, I guess. I think there's a part of my style that's always been deliberately obtuse, and I actually have to clamp down on that sometimes. But I also learned from Stephen King that there isn't always a satisfying end to a story (or a plot thread), the good guy doesn't always win, and not all mysteries are ever resolved.
In my opinion, a story which resolves all the action at the end of each chapter isn't a long story, it's a collection of short stories which are related by theme. That's just my opinion, of course. Perhaps it's influenced by reading so many mystery novels where the chapter endings leave the reader hanging (or, in the case of trilogies--which this is going to be--the book ending). The fact is, I'm not a professional writer, and I don't have a professional editor I can call upon. I'm doing what I know how to do, and learning as I go.
Because nobody would read a 145,000 word story that was all one chapter?
I tried to generally keep it to one major scene per chapter--at least, that was the plan in the outline. There's an adage in the construction industry that says it will cost twice as much and take twice as long as you've planned; the beach scenes were like that. I've tried to keep the chapters to a length that I could write and edit in a week or two, but inexperience at writing a story of this magnitude caused me to often misinterpret how long a particular scene would take..
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Thank you!
You're the first one to make that comparison, and I think it's probably apt. I hadn't really set out to write a documentary, but at the same time, I personally love stories where I learn something I didn't know before, and I do do a lot of technical reading, kind of across all fields. I'm the kind of person who likes to ask 'why?' and loves to get an answer, or take things apart and see how they work.
I have refrained from commenting until now, but here goes:
It isn't often that I find a story that I read until 4:30 in the morning, only to set my alarm so that I can finish it before lunch the next day. This is the best first contact story I have read. If you wanted to emulate Arrow 18, you've succeeded brilliantly, I would say that you've surpassed Arrow 18 in every aspect other than humor and maybe writing quality.
Not that your story was unenjoyable, I liked it much better than Arrow 18, I found it more interesting to read, as well, but it's much like the difference between the Inheritance Cycle and Lord of the Rings. Eragon was enjoyable for the writing itself, but LoTR was enjoyable for the content, the story was much more interesting, the setting more fleshed out, etc.
(If you can't tell, I'm comparing your story to LoTR.)
Everything is portrayed with great realism, and the attention to even the tiniest of details in marvelous. I suppose I'll have to go read Onto the Pony Planet. Then again, I might just wait until it's finished, no matter how long it takes, I don't think I could bear the anticipation of waiting for the next chapter.
As it is, I can't bear the anticipation of starting the sequel. Such a quandary this is. I don't like quandaries, they're slow and sticky. (I probably misquoted that.)
I said it once, and I'll say it again, this is the best first contact story I have read.
tl;dr: Five yays out of five.
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Apparently he liked Celestia Sleeps In With a Vengeance, 'cause the one downvote it had disappeared.
3308426
I can be a bit prescient at times. It can be fun when it happens.
Well, this is an interesting one. I should preface that I liked the story overall and gave it a thumbs up, and that some what I'm commenting on here is just... "oddnesses," not complaints. :)
The thing that I adored most about this story is the first-contact stuff and the worldbuilding. You've slipped a lot of nice "alienness" into Equestria without fundamentally changing it. I noticed a few details that I suspect you incorporated from other fanfic universes, too, which I also like - it's fun when worldbuilding gets collaborative. Lots of other stuff seems like fresh innovation, which is even better. I really like your version of Lyra. She's a couple with Bon-Bon, she's interested in humans, she's a Guard reservist and into duelling (via the Still Way? :), but none of that overwhelms everything. She's nicely well-rounded. Dale's interesting too, though hopefully he'll finally start figuring out that these ponies didn't visit via spacecraft or I can see that misunderstanding starting to get frustrating. :)
That said, there were a few bits of characterization that seemed a little bit off. Celestia and Luna both seemed more harsh than what we've seen in the show, such as when Celestia rebuked Twilight for assuming humans were primitive and threatening to "take her off the case" as it were. The strife between the two elder alicorn sisters seems a little strong, with them sniping passive-agressively at each other. But fortunately this never got far enough out of my impression of their canon characters to break suspension of disbelief for me.
Also, the story of Trixie and her corruption. On the one hand, I'm finding it fascinating and well thought out, and I really look forward to finding out more about what's going on there. On the other hand, it seems almost completely disconnected from the primary "first contact" side of the story. Which itself is disjointed from the original Celestia/Luna one-upsmanship quest-to-sleep-in story. I don't mind this, it's quite interesting how important events are just carrying on whether they're directly connected or not, it's just something that's quite different from the usual pattern of storytelling. Interweaving the two stories allows for them both to use each other to provide interludes, but it feels a little bit weird. Fortunately I'm interested in both stories.
The choice of the place to put the end of the book was also a little surprising, Dale seemed to be partway into a round of "let's figure out what's going on now" speculation and then the last chapter caught me by surprise by being all author commentary instead of something that reaches an endpoint. I'll get started into the sequel right away, though, so perhaps that won't be so jarring if the narrative just picks right back up where it left off.
All in all, thumbs up, will be following.
The object has a slim, cylindrical form , is about 50cm / 20" long and has a diameter slightly below 2cm / 0.8". The material is quite rigid, yet sturdy ... there's a slightly sticky black material wrapped around the cylinder, forming an helix angle. The cylinder itself is of a shiny orange colour. At both ends are attachments made of what at first looks like the same black material, but it is slightly shinier and smoother to the touch. Finally there are embellishments on both attachments, which seem to look a bit like a flower.
The cylinder itself has a marking on it, which represents a crescent moon ... with some squiggly lines in it, as well as three dots. Upon closer inspections I notice that this marking is not on the cylinder itself, but apparently on a transparent, colourless material, which is attached to the object, below the black material, via some adhesive.
The surface is chipped in some places, which indicates that it has been used and roughly at that.
/description
I really liked the challenge ... I'll make sure to keep it in mind and maybe spread it around a bit. :)
Now about the story, I wasn't bothered by all those rapid changes of perspective at all and I count myself amongst those who love how you handled this first encounter, even if how it started might've been a bit silly. But hey ... Celestia should be allowed being short-sighted at times. It makes for more suspense... maybe. At least I think it's better this way, than to having Celestia predict every little detail in advance.
I also really liked to stumble upon quite some other interesting stories in your notes. Thanks a lot for that!
Now I need to ponder reading the sequel, or waiting until there's more ...
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I'm saying that, if she went through with her idea of basically nuking a city with star-stuff, we wouldn't consider our responding flurry of nukes to be a first strike. We call that "just deserts". Get it? Desert? Because that's what Equestria will be if she does something stupid.
We nuked ourselves (in terms of species) twice because we decided it would be more efficient to do so than invade. We wouldn't hesitate to do that and more to an alien species that just nuked us for literally no other reason than because that species' leader did it on a whim.
Presenting, the Celestia Sleeps In Super-Mega Typo Happy Fun List!
Prologue:
made a
Ch. 3:
What? I don't recognize this phrase.
Ch. 4:
Racist!
Cows are shown to be sentient, albeit prone to stampeding. I dunno about sheep, though.
Breach
Ch. 5:
Calendar
Zenith consoles! Nostalgic. I still have one, though I doubt it works.
Ch. 7:
Cheerilee
Affirmative, maggot! tf2wiki.net/ww/images/thumb/2/2d/Soldiertaunt1.PNG/300px-Soldiertaunt1.PNG
Ch. 8:
Carousel. Carousal would make a good innuendo for a adult store, though...
"It's just a side business, darling."
Also, a reminder that Sweetie is shown to have a different house than her sister: her parents' house, S3 episode "Babs Seed."
Calendar. Seems to be a repeated typo throughout the chapter (though not every time, curiously.)
You've done an awesome job of having Equestrian culture be something vastly different from ours. Seeing them puzzle through the astronomy book was fascinating. But...
How do they have Orion, the HUNTER? as a constellation? He's a Hunter! Though perhaps, this can be explained as being from griffon mythology or somesuch. But secondly, he has a bipedal form!
Besides that one point I just mentioned, this story feels so well researched it's like you were using the series bible as a reference.
Ch. 10:
in his
Ch. 13:
The thought of Rarity wearing a bra as earmuffs is hilarious.
And also of Trixie wearing pants for a cape.
Missing period.
And the funny thing is, he thinks he's up against an Ursa Major when it's really an Ursa Minor.
And that's it!
Tune in next time for the thrilling... oh, we've still got two to go. 
Tune in next time for the thrilling sequel, then!
Presenting, the Celestia Sleeps In Super-Mega Typo Happy Fun List!
"put paid" is a somewhat common British English phrase. I blame it on reading too many English books & listening to BBC.
"Meaning To deal with effectively; to finish something off.
"Origin
'Put paid to' probably derives from the practice of book-keepers of writing or stamping "Paid" on bills when the paperwork for a sale was completed. The term isn't especially old and I can't find any examples of it in print prior to the 20th century. An early citation comes from the Winnipeg newspaper The Manitoba Morning Free Press, October 1905. This appeared in a listing of English football results, which were presumably printed in a Canadian paper for the benefit of the many English immigrants:
"Wolverhampton Wanderers put paid to Bolton's account, the scores being: 2-0""
My thought was that the cows are a less-intelligent species than the buffalo; they're capable of speech and some personal care, but just can't make it on their own (much like the developmentally disabled adults I work with).
I also think that given the generally unrealistically high level of intelligence displayed by many species in the show, and the number of fully sapient species, the ponies might set the bar much higher than a human would. Most of Fluttershy's animal friends can't speak, but they understand specific instructions.
My thought would be that the ponies consider it an advanced race if it has its own society; if not, it's inferior. In that context, though, sapient probably isn't the best term to use; perhaps I should change it to cultured (although that comes with its own baggage).
I think it was in The Last Brony Gets His Wish where it was revealed that the bridles that Rarity has on the ponikins are intimate wear; I also hinted that with the Saddle Arabian's bridles. (And I came up with that on my own! Ha!) Still, typo noted.
Yes, but Rarity said at the beginning of the section that "her parents were in Canterlot," and I don't think they'd have left Sweetie alone--they dropped her on Rarity in Sisterhooves Social, for example. I'm glad you mentioned that, though; it will prevent me from making a continuity error in OPP when Twilight's looking for somepony to catch fish.
The reason it's not every time is because a calender is a series of rollers on a machine which makes something smooth and flat, like paper or aluminum foil.
upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/1/1c/Calender.jpg/398px-Calender.jpg
Now gDocs and Chrome are underlining uncommon homonyms in gray, but they didn't used to--the reason that spell-check isn't a good substitute for pre-readers.
From Suited for Success: "Twilight Sparkle: Now, the stars on my belt need to be technically accurate. Orion has three stars on his belt, not four."
I occasionally used the transcripts. . . .
horseandman.com/wp-content/uploads/bra-horse.jpg
(Sometimes to calm a panicked horse, it's necessary to blindfold it. Something that's usually available among a group of Equestrians that won't put pressure on the horse's eyeball is a bra.)
And also of Trixie wearing pants for a cape.
fc05.deviantart.net/fs70/i/2012/131/7/6/trixie___you_could_be_comfier_by_kooner01-d4zd7xu.png
Cool
There are stories.... and then there are stories that are just so wonderfully entertaining that you wish they would never end. For me, this is one of those. I think I could read this for a solid year and never get tired of it. The author makes you ponder human existence and I think ultimately that is truly what literature is about. Thank you, thank you Admiral, for this gem, this gift.
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I haven't read any of them, although my grandfather loved them. He had a whole bookshelf full of them. It's the only fiction I remember seeing in his house.
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Just above horses, it seems. I'd guess we'd be better than ponies, though, since we have a much better stride.
this was a pretty good story I enjoyed it
Well, I gave this story a chance and read it to the end. Celestia is still very OOC, but not that much that I thought. And I liked the process of first contact, very good written. So bad and good catches in this story balanced, it's not shit nor pearl. I'll not fav this, not like nor dislike.
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I appreciate that you took the time to read it all the way through. I honestly had suspected that Celestia's pre-emptive strike strategy was going to cause some readers to become upset and stop reading, but there is a school of thought that says it's the wisest choice in a first-contact situation.