• Member Since 14th Jul, 2012
  • offline last seen 12 minutes ago


Nothing special here, move along, nothing to see, just ignore the lump under the sheet and the red stuff...



Twilight Sparkle was quite positive she could handle the job of teaching young unicorn students in Ponyville how to handle their new magic, but when the school’s traveling magic teacher returns to town as scheduled, a series of miscommunications and accidents nearly drive the two of them crazy. Only the power of friendship (and a certain amount of tinkering from the townsponies) can save the day for them and their students before complete disaster strikes, but maybe there is a little more than friendship in store for the two young teachers.
[Comedy][Education][Slice of Cake] Featured on Equestria Daily. With a TV Tropes page and two sequels, The Traveling Tutor and the Diplomat's Daughter and The Traveling Tutor and The Royal Exam.

A lighthearted look at education, young love, dating and buckets of water in the face in that most normal of all small towns, Ponyville.

Caution: Contains bananas, marble chips, jogging, matrimonial planning, romantic interference, intrigue, lesson plans and lots of nuts. A whole town full of them.

Rated I for Innuendo, some drinking, some sleeping together (Just sleeping! Really! Why won’t you believe me?) and a great deal of dunking in the town fountain.

No cupcakes were harmed in the production of this fic. However, a great number were eaten. And they were yummy.

Cover art by Tamalesyotole on DeviantArt
Available in paperback at Lulu.com at cost

Chapters (37)
Comments ( 1029 )

Author's Notes: Feb 2019 - Redid entire document formatting with corrected footnotes. Enjoy!

This is more Comedy combined with a "You can never go home again" story than Romance, but there will be kissing going on, and a lot of innuendo. Originally I was not planning on getting too serious, or too long, but it now weighs out at 36 chapters, having taken off and dragged me along for a most enjoyable ride, with many memorable moments.

‘Don Rocinante’ is stolen borrowed from RDD's Lunaverse series with permission, because I could never come up with a way to ponyfy Don Quixote half as well.

Presently featured on Equestria Daily after third submittal after extensive editing that touched each chapter at least four times. And I'm *still* finding typos.

I would like to extend thanks to the many editors and proofreaders who have taken the time to wade through the story, including Peter, Bad Horse, Featherprop , Nyerguds, lhmac , Alicorn Priest , Kydois (and others more numerous to mention who have helped point out my errors. You are all a moment of joy that I will treasure forever.)

Special thanks to KatyscornerTx for a *wonderful* sculpt. of GG and his hat.

Submitted to /fic/ for a review 3/3 linked Here , and the review posted 6/2 is Here with my politely worded response to the review Here with yet another politely worded response to my response (Yes, I got a *good* reviewer who cares) Here. The first chapter has been completely rewritten and major changes have occurred in several others from their advice, giving a much better story. Thanks guys!

If you would care to read it as it was developed along with my contributor comments and various internal musings, a link to the raw Google Document is here.

Now with a TV Tropes page and a sequel, The Traveling Tutor and the Diplomat's Daughter

Submitted 12/1/2012 3:00 (and approved really quickly too)
Second chapter is up. The rest should follow with a few days between them.
Sunday: Third chapter is up. It's a bit stubby.
Tuesday: Fourth chapter is up. Yes, that's a Star Wars reference. (footnotes updated for Twilight's mother, added link to Fauxsquared fantastic pic)
Thursday: Fifth chapter is up. I'm pleading the Fifth, and Green Grass really needs a fifth.
Friday: Sixth chapter is up. And so is Green Grass. And so is Twilight. How to say the wrong thing in just One Word.
Saturday: Seventh chapter is up. "Mom! Guess what we learned in school today!"
Sunday: Eighth chapter is up. The cake is not a lie. And it's delivered.
Monday: Ninth chapter is up. Dinky brings a friend to the evaluation.
Tuesday: Evaluation is over (although who is getting evaluated is debatable). The date apology lunch is scheduled, and something is developing. (literally)
Friday: Eleventh chapter is up. The young lovers get their first kiss. And Twilight gets to meet the in-laws. And his fiance.
Sunday: Twelfth chapter is up. Twilight sends Green Grass on a little trip.
Wednesday: Thirteenth chapter is up. Guys talk guy things, girls talk girl things. Green Grass gets a welcome letter, Airmail.
Friday: Fourteenth chapter is up. Now the Princess knows.
Saturday: Fifteenth chapter is up. The day starts with Sunlight, and ends with Starlight and Moonshine
Sunday. Chapter 16 is up. In Vino Veritas.
Tuesday: Chapter 17 is up. Green Grass finds out what the moon is like.
Wednesday late: Chapter 18 is up, hangovers and misconceptions (not *that* kind of conception!)
Thursday : Chapter 19 is up. Sleepovers are so much fun, particularly when people you know drop in. (19 chapters in 28 days, whew!)
Saturday : Chapter 20 is up. Twilight's father is a nice chap. Really.
Sunday: Chapter 21 is up. Twilight Sparkle’s mother is Julie Andrews, but this song went through my head while writing the entire chapter.
Monday: Chapter 22 is up. As we say goodbye to Twilight's mom and dad, and near the end of our tale.
Wed: Chapter 23 is up. Green Grass and Twilight start a little project that may take a few months to complete.
Sat: Chapter 24 is up. Green Grass decides to break it off. Pinkie Pie is making cupcakes.
Mon. Chap 25 is up. The break up is off. Somepony goes for a fountain trip. Twilight has to stay after school.
Fri Chap 27 is up. The young lovers get snowed in, and find an activity suited to the isolation.
Sun Chap 28 is up. Green Grass has two tickets to paradise. Rarity has 20 tickets to Tartarus.
Tue Chap 29 is up. Our young lovers face an evening separated by some very old chaperones.
Thu Chap 30 is up. The Princess gets some unexpected male. err. Mail.
Sun Chap 31 is up. It's a good thing those newspapers have layers of fact-checkers or they might get something wrong.
Mon Chap 32 is up. Green Grass besieged! Canterlot castle surrounded! Fortunately they're just reporters.
Tue Chap 33 is up. Green Grass and the author loose some points (Author fixed it though)
Wed Chap 34 is up. Finally! A proposal! There's going to be a wedding! (cackle) with image by Tamalesyatole
Thu Chap 35 is up. That letter returns, with some annotations. It makes me happy when a stallion gets what he deserves.
Chapter 36 is done This is the end, 36 chapters in just a shade over 2 months.
Chapter 37 (epilogue) has been published, and story is now marked complete! Dec 1 - Feb 6. Whew. No, I'm not making a sequel for at least several months, while I decompress. :)

And I have an image for Green Grass' cutie mark now. Yea, Inkscape.

Well, this should be interesting...

You have my interest. I look forward to seeing where you go with this.

Nice. I'm looking forward to reading more.

Yeah, pal, a dragon. Fortunately, he's shorter than most foals so I don't think he's going to be much of a threat unless you push him too hard. :twilightsheepish:

Insta fave. I know of the guaranteed quality here. I thinking Mr Grass is going to find Twilight a poor replacement for Ms Dewey. She is a poor librarian.

Oh hell yeah, this looks like a lot of fun. Eagerly looking forward to more.

And more is already here!

Well, that was a fairly unique way to introduce yourself to Twilight, but that's just about the best thing I can say about it. Nice one, Grassy.

I like that he is quite well known to the residents of the town.

When Mom and Dad had taken Frost into the testing room

Wait, who is this 'Frost'? Green Grass's sister is obviously named High Tides. :pinkiecrazy::trollestia:

'Already friends with all the main characters' is usually one of the things that makes OCs so awful, but it's done well here!:pinkiegasp:

I think that's probably the best possible way to get off on the wrong hoof with Twilight Sparkle. I don't think that he needs to worry about being sent to the Moon. That will be painless compared to what Twilight might do to him, given some of the skills she seems to have (based on 'Magic Duel').

Oh boy. You have sown nerdrage, Green Grass, and you shall reap the intellectually irate whirlwind. I envy you not one iota.

Sometimes honesty is knowing which bits of the truth to withhold for someone's own good.

Also, I doubt that apology cake's going to survive the trip to the library intact...

Nice one AJ, that was beautifully done.

The Pinkie Pie shenanigans were wonderful.

Greengrass shouldn't be too worried; everypony is scared of Twilight Sparkle. Everypony. Especially after the Miss Smarty Pants incident. :twilightoops:

So is Green Grass dead? Wow, what a short story. Oh well off to the next project.

1742110 Well, that would be one way to end the story. Next chapter: Spike got out the dustpan and broom with a sigh. They ran through more tutors that way....


Makes you wonder who in their right mind would marry her.
:twilightangry2: Who left the toilet seat up?!
:twilightangry2: You forgot our anniversary?!

Well, hopefully there is more than one traveling magic tutor available, I don't think this one is going to be any good anymore.

1742452 For Sale, one magic tutor, slightly worn. Send self-addressed stamped envelope to....

Well, Greenie, it was nice knowing you. Who should we send your mortal remains to? :rainbowlaugh:

Ozone makes Twilight think of her mother? Now I have a mental image of Twilight Velvet's mane and tail turning into electricity when she gets angry...

Also, I hope that icy whiteness was cake to the face. It may distract Twilight long enough for Green Grass to escape with his life and most of his limbs.

I figure that unicorn magic tastes like ozone.

Hmmm... Twilight seem rather crazy and condescending. Seems legit.

She was beautiful. Radiant power seemed to fill Twilight’s entire being, from her stark white eyes to a smoldering mane that flowed in a nonexistant breeze with little sparks of fire at the tips of each hair. A crackle of ozone filled the library with a tang that seemed to catch on the back of the tongue and tingle along his spine, holding every hair on his coat on end. Even though he was just moments from death, Green Grass could not help but stare and marvel at the power of the cosmos, ready to be unleashed. On him.

:rainbowderp: Man, he really likes to live on the edge.

I love that Spike knew exactly what to do with zero hesitation. There's a time for trying to calm Twilight down gently, and a time to just get the fire extinguisher.

the other of which had just ‘coincidently’ sent a young noble colt to town.

He lives in a traveling library, Twilight, he lives in a traveling library.

Bets on Twilight having fallen asleep Green Grass's cart reading the book.

Oooohhh, that kind of 'marble chip cake' :facehoof:

One lulled to sleep by tilting at windmills, the other too drunk to notice his bed being occupied.
They fight crime!

Love the bit where Grass is enraptured by the lethal majesty that is enraged Twilight. If I wasn't shipping these two before, I certainly would be now.

Also, is it wrong that I want the Who's Who of Equestrian nobility to be called "Derp's Peerage"? :derpytongue2:

Ah, the ever addicting site They Fight Crime! , many hours of my life were destroyed there.
Actually I thought of her doing a 'Hulk-fighting-Loki' moment, but the results would be... messy.
*wham!* *wham!* *wham!* *wham!* *wham!*
Dear Princess Celestia,
Can you help me hide a body?
Your Faithful Accomplice,
Twilight Sparkle

Dear Princess Celestia,
Can you help me hide a body?
Your Faithful Accomplice,
Twilight Sparkle

My faithful student.

I knew this day would come and I'm just so proud! Your first ponyslaughter or did you skip straight to Murder?

Anyway I have a certain advantage of being able to send any anoying bodies to the moon (I'm looking at you Loona) might I suggest burial, I'm sure your friend Applejack has some empty land, or maybe dear Fluttershy has come carnivorous friends who can help, maybe even Pinky Pie?

I can't wait to receive a further friendship report on this matter, remember friends who kill together stay together?

Your mentor

Princess Celestia

Damned if he does, damned if he doesn't.

I'm sure he'll get a nice gravestone.

Just going to give fair warning, you're one good update away from a favorite.

You tease :raritydespair:

Now, the question is, will this dig him in deeper with Twilight, or will it lead to bonding of the awkward 'let us never speak of this again' type?

I love how he basically spent the entire chapter very carefully panicking.

Welp, this story was fun while it lasted. Shame about the main character's imminent demise.

…and that's how Equestria was destroyed. :pinkiecrazy:

"Where's Green Grass? Well he's over there... and over there... Ooh! There's some over here too! And what's that...? Yeah, I'm pretty sure that's a bit on the rug too..."

Seriously, I suspect that Twilight is going to be too horribly embarrassed to be angry... after a while. She's going to panic first and assume that she got stoned or something and slept with him without knowing it.

I loved the dream/nightmare sequence, BTW. I'm pretty sure that every stallion who's looked sideways at Twilight has had that nightmare.

Oh look, he didn't die :pinkiehappy:

Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! There is a lot to explore here with cool and funny stuations. More story please.:twilightangry2::facehoof::moustache::trollestia:

:rainbowlaugh: Oh man, no death, but six months of Masters research down the drain. Ouch.

Dang, is Twilight persistent when she wants a book or what. And that out of context dialog!

Jesus...I know that feel, happened to my IB project. I nearly cried. Love it!

Oh dang XD that was hilarious XD

Green Grass, old son, don't bother. Telling a female that what she considers 'clutter' is actually a sophisticated cross-referencing system is to attempt to talk in a language that they simply can't understand.

I'm thinking that everyone will know that Green Grass and Twilight are in a relationship by the end of the day. That they aren't in a relationship will be completely ignored.

I'd like to put a few bits on Mauve.

Login or register to comment