The Traveling Tutor and the Librarian
Saying Goodbye with a Kiss
“Oh, my little flower! I’m going to miss you so much while we’re gone.” Twilight Velvet nuzzled her daughter in front of the train doorway, in full view of the rest of her friends. “Kiss for your mother?”
“Mom!” ‘Flower’ struggled to escape, but Twilight Velvet kept her trapped in a vice-like grasp. “They’re watching.”
“Y’all just go ahead there, Mrs. Twilight.”
“Ooo, can I get in on the hug too!”
“The two of you look darling, darling.”
“You’re so cute together.”
“Smile!”
A brilliant flash lit up the railroad terminal, bringing out the colors of all the squinting ponies, in particular the red that flushed Twilight Sparkle’s cheeks.
“Rainbow!” Twilight glared at the amateur photographer.
“Don’t frown like that, Twi. It looks horrible on film.” A second flash did nothing to reduce Twilight Sparkle’s frown or blush.
“Really, Twilight,” drawled Rarity. “You should get at least one photo with your coltfriend so that your parents have something to put on the wall other than that dreadful school newspaper photo. I mean, the angle does not flatter you at all. Where is the nice young stallion anyway?”
Twilight Velvet waved a hoof at the train. “Oh, Nighty had him help bring the baggage along, so we girls wouldn’t be bothered by all that stallion-talk. I swear, all they know is hoofball and politics.
* * *
One more step. Ow. One more step. Ow. One more step.
The trip from the library had been both painful and embarrassing for Green Grass. There was almost no way to outrun a unicorn with a wet towel, and the resulting series of red welts gracing his green rear made him look somewhat like an apple tree ready to harvest. What had started as an angry, wet unicorn chasing him with a towel and howling for revenge, had evolved into a game of hide-and-seek through the town in which he still could not figure out if she was truly angry at him, or just enjoying the juvenile game. In either case, her accuracy with a damp towel bespoke a great deal of practice or natural talent as his smarting rump could testify. Mercifully, she had quit her pursuit in the vicinity of her friends, who had gathered by the train station to see her parents off to Fillydelphia. Perhaps she feared Rainbow Dash catching the two of them in a photo, or the embarrassment of acting so immature in the company of her fellow Elements of Harmony. Or maybe she just ran out of water for the towel.
“Son, why don’t you let me get that before you break something.” A golden aura gently lifted the luggage off Green Grass’ back and flew it to the luggage rack inside the parents’ private compartment before the older stallion turned to the slow-moving tutor with a look of concern. “You’re not really a runner, are you Mister Green Grass?”
“No,” said Green Grass, stifling a pained whimper. “The Princess kind-of pushed me out into the Running of the Leaves, and I—” The tutor cut off as Night Light’s magical aura surrounded him in a warm glow, intensifying until it felt like he was lying on a warm rock. The glow abruptly quit with a quiet snap, and Green Grass straightened up with a smile. “It doesn’t hurt now.”
“Part of my old Guard training. Have Twily look it up sometime when she isn’t chasing you around town with a towel. It’s not as good as a trip to the spa, but it’ll do. Now about Twilight.” The older stallion looked Green Grass straight in the eyes with a penetrating gaze that gave him the strangest sensation of looking at a mirror, only twenty years into the future. “You’re not really in love with my daughter either, are you?”
“No, sir.” The tutor drooped from ears to tail and looked away from Twilight’s father. “She’s nice enough she should have suitors lined up in front of the library for blocks, but I understand why she’s still single. You must have the most awful parasites drop by your house, trying to marry her for the position she holds.”
“You have no idea, son. We had to make a form letter for rejections back when she first became the Princess’ student. Most of the requests are handled by the castle staff.” One hoof caught him by the chin and dragged his face back up to meet Night Light’s golden eyes. “You don’t dislike her either, do you?”
“Heavens, no! I suppose I did at first, a little, between thinking she was going to vaporize me, and all the times she dropped me in the fountain. Now, I just—” Green Grass groped for words, blushing slightly pink before waving vaguely in the direction of the waiting mares. “She confuses me!”
Night Light broke out laughing, and sat down with a thump on the compartment bunk, leaving Green Grass even more confused. “What is it, sir? Did I say something wrong?”
“Oh, no,” he chortled, wiping away a tear. “It’s just I said almost exactly the same words from the time I met my Twilight, until after the wedding. She had me so confused that when the vicar asked, ‘signify by saying, I do’ I turned to Twilight and asked ‘do I?’”
“So what happened then?”
“She said, ‘Yes, dear’ and I turned back to him and said ‘I do.’ I think that’s the last decision I made as a free stallion, even if her father was holding a sword behind me. I’m not sure whether I should congratulate you, or provide covering fire while you run for the hills.”
Green Grass sat down in the other bunk with a scowl. “How about neither?”
The older stallion shook his head with a grin. “No, son. You’ve got it all wrong. The two of you have a unique opportunity. You are free to either become closer, stay the same, or drift apart. Neither I, nor your parents, or even the Princesses together can change that if you two don’t want it to change. Who knows, if you drift apart, you may bump into each other in twenty years, each married with a string of little fillies and colts behind you and have a good laugh about all of this. I’m certainly not going to try to shove you together with my Twilight; nopony deserves to have that kind of chaos forced upon them. My wife has four sisters, which means if you two stick together, you will have a mother-in-law and four aunts just like her. Come to think of it, we have a family reunion in Fillydelphia in a couple of months that we’re probably not going to be able to attend depending on her delivery date. Would you like to take Twily there and meet all of her cousins?”
“No, sir. Thank you, sir,” rattled off Green Grass rapidly and without a pause.
“Smart lad,” chuckled Night Light. “Well, we had better get back outside, or they’re going to start to think I tied you to the train tracks. Oh, and one more thing before you go.”
Green Grass froze, halfway out the compartment door. “What?”
“It does you no good to take a trip if you don’t enjoy it. I have to say one thing about my trip so far: I’ve never been bored. Frightened, terrified, exhilarated, or ecstatic, yes, but never bored. Either way the two of you decide, make the most of it, and don’t let anypony try to tell you otherwise. Within reason. My wife still has her father’s sword hung up on the wall.”
A tiny smile crept onto Green Grass’ face. “I think it can stay there.”
* * *
“So what did you girls talk about while we were gone?” asked Green Grass carefully as they waved at the departing train.
“You,” said Twilight Sparkle in a quite firm voice, with only the tiniest upward twitch of the corner of her mouth. “What about the masculine duo?”
“You,” said Green Grass with a grin and a glance backwards at the rest of the Elements of Harmony, loitering nearby with no intention of eavesdropping. “What would you say to a quick bite to eat at Sugarcube Corner?”
“Yes!” cried out several of her friends, only to be shushed by Rarity.
“I agree with them,” said Twilight as they began their walk. “Mom made lunch, or brunch or whatever at the Library, but it tasted horrible. She must be in some experimental cooking phase.”
“Tell me about it,” grumbled Spike, falling into step beside them. “She cleaned out my last jar of pickles.”
“Spike! You probably just ate them and stuck the empty jar back in the icebox. You know my mom hates pickles.”
...we’re probably not going to be able to attend depending on her delivery date.
It took considerable willpower for Green Grass to keep walking to Sugarcube Corner and not stumble. There are some conclusions, such as one’s own mother being pregnant, that should not be made by anypony too close to the subject. It was probably wise not to push the issue, but instead silently consider the chances of Twilight Sparkle someday becoming the second most powerful unicorn in her family. Or third.
Being back in Sugarcube Corner gave him a strange sense of belonging that seemed to fill his entire chest nearly as well as the cupcakes and muffins filled his empty belly. Last year he had practically lived here and gained nearly ten pounds. This year he had barely managed to drop by a few times, to the relief of his waist.
When he was in college, he would have broken both forelegs to sit at a table with six beautiful mares; now it was more like sitting with one special mare, and five ‘others.’ It just felt off somehow, like the entire world had tilted to one side and he was unable to place his hooves on the ground.
Luna was right. He never did have any really close friends, just acquaintances and siblings. Even his little sister was not so little anymore. Somehow the world had managed to sneak forward while he was not looking, leaving him thinking about little foals of his own and relationships. At this rate, he was going to grow a beard and wear cashmere sweaters with little patches on the elbows while complaining about kids on the lawn.
His eye caught the similarly chubby form of Mrs. Cake bustling around the dining area, delivering yet another tray of sugary goodies to their table, and something in his own slightly tubby gut gave a twinge of empathy. Asking his own mother about things like this was out of the question, but it would feel a bit odd to pawn his question off this way. Then again, it was not exactly passing the whole decision off, just inquiring of an elder what wisdom they could impart to a young and foolish colt who was having... issues. Mainly equivocation issues.
“Mrs. Cake, may I speak with you privately about the experiment we’ve been doing up in Pinkie’s room? It will just take a minute, girls. I’ll be right back.”
For some reason, the older mare was a bit twitchy about talking to Green Grass away from the table, but he managed to speak with her in the back of the room as she was icing a number of cupcakes for the counter. She was holding the frosting tube in her mouth, so all he could hear was grunts and the occasional glance, but that was more than he ever got from his own mother, so it was an improvement.
“I’m sorry, Mrs. Cake. I kind-of lied about the reason for talking to you. It isn’t about that experiment.”
“Mm?”
The green stallion dug a hoof into the rubber safety mat on the floor and mentally squirmed. Last year when he had been student teaching, Mrs. Cake had been quite sincere about being a Mom away from Mom, but that was before the Cakes had two children of their own. He still felt guilty about burdening her this way.
This is embarrassing⁽*⁾. For both of us. Just say it. “What I really wanted to ask you about, was mares.”
(*) It would have been more embarrassing if he knew Twilight Sparkle was using her Audio Amplification spell to eavesdrop on their conversation. She heard ‘experiment’ and wanted to find out more. She did.
—
“Mmm?” One cupcake became totally engulfed in an icing blob as Mrs. Cake looked a little startled.
“Well, one mare. Anyway, you’re aware of the rumors going around about Twilight Sparkle and myself, right?”
There was a pregnant pause before Mrs. Cake responded. “Mm-huh.” Apparently she had regained her composure also, as she began making little floral borders with the icing tube.
“Well, we haven’t. Been together, that is. I hardly know her, and what I do know keeps turning around on me. It’s bad enough my parents were trying to marry me off to—” He stopped with a shudder and caught a sympathetic look from Mrs. Cake⁽¹⁾. “Anyway. All of my life, I’ve acted as I’ve been told. Prep school, college, I even played the clarinet. Do you know how hard it is for earth ponies to play the clarinet?”
(1) Miss Bee Tress spent considerable time at Sugarcube Corner, and found it quite humorous.
—
“Um-hum.”
“Everypony in town seems to be trying to stick Twilight and myself together, and that makes it really hard to tell if I’m attracted to her because I’m being pushed, pulled, or...” He trailed off and glanced back to the table where Twilight was sitting motionless, as if she were deep in thought.⁽²⁾
(2) Or concentrating on a spell. Although she was deep in thought at the same time.
—
“Do you promise not to tell anypony else? Pinkie Promise?”
“Um mm mumph um mump um muh, umm um ummumuh um um umu!”
“I’ve spent so much time being afraid of commitment, that I’m not even sure I can anymore. And if I can, how do I know she can? She’s been through much worse than I have. Although she has better parents.” As if that were the first pebble dislodged from the impending avalanche, the words all came spilling out at once. His confused feelings for Twilight Sparkle had been dammed up since they met, and he felt better for finally having it out. He finally trickled to a halt and looked at Mrs. Cake for her advice.
“Uh-huh.” For a mare with a frosting tube in her mouth, Mrs. Cake had a quite effective look of sympathy.
“That’s only the half of it. You know how I’m always careful to have an adult present while working with the students to keep any wild rumors or misunderstandings from cropping up? Like when Pinkie Pie has been working with me on Sweetie Belle’s shyness problem upstairs.”
“Mm?”
“Turns out Sweetie has a shy horn. Not really unusual, although mostly it occurs with older male unicorns. Thanks to Pinkie Pie’s help, we made a real breakthrough. If I can get her to reliably use her magic while singing in private where nopony can see, maybe we can slowly work her up to small audiences.”
“Uh? Hm, um unh.” The baker’s blue coat became slightly tinged with a fierce blush as she continued to put little pink sugar flowers on pastries.
“Well, anyway. I’ve been so concerned about my own reputation, I had not really considered Twilight’s until — this is still covered under the Pinkie Promise, right?”
“Uh-huh⁽³⁾.”
(3) The ancillary clause provision of all Pinkie Promises cover this situation.
—
“She got drunk one night, by accident, and staggered into my wagon. Affectionate too.” He blushed, glancing back at the table to make sure nopony was watching, but Twilight was still looking intently at her table. “I made sure to get her back to her library without the whole town seeing and tucked into her own bed, untouched. Do you know how weird it is to do the right thing without thinking about it?”
“Huh-uh.”
“Well, I suppose you’re right. Mr. Cake is such a gentlecolt, he always does the right thing. What does that make me?”
Mrs. Cake held out a hoof at about foal level, then slowly began to raise it.
“Older, I see. No? Oh, mature. Right.” He scowled weakly and looked down at the floor. “Maturity sucks.”
Green Grass sighed and turned part-way to leave. “I guess I’m just confused, that’s all.” His attempt to return to the table was blocked by one blue foreleg when Mrs. Cake swept him up and gave him a giant-sized warm hug⁽⁴⁾. “Thanks.”
(4) Rated 4.7 of 5.0 on the Twilight Velvet logarithmic scale. Pinkie had been giving lessons.
—
“Anytime.” The baker gave the top of his head a quick rub, making his mane stand up on end⁽⁵⁾ before whispering in one ear. “For what it’s worth, I was furious at you earlier. I thought you had been… cheating on Twilight with Pinkie Pie.”
(5) And slightly pink from frosting.
—
“Pinkie Pie?” repeated the tutor in disbelief. He gave a quick look over his shoulder to make sure the pink party pony was still with her friends before whispering back, “I think I’m only Twilight level crazy, Pinkie needs… I’m not sure, but you’ll know it when you see it. Probably from miles away. In pink.”
The two of them shared a cautious laugh at the thought before Mrs. Cake peeled the squished cake decorating tube off Green Grass’ chest, and he went back to the ongoing party. It was kind of interesting, in an abstract way, to see how the six friends played off each other and Spike. Like multi-colored peas in a pod, or even neatly arranged thesis pages, their order was not inherent on the surface, but below their obvious nature. If some giant were to pick them all up and arrange them in spectral or alphabetical order, they would naturally gravitate back to their present order, just like magic. But if a powerful unicorn cast a sorting spell, it would destroy their natural ordering, enforcing a new ordering that they would then treat as the norm. Without some map, or key removed from the ordering before the spell, it would be impossible for them to regain their original state, although unlike a thesis, they would still be happy. There had to be something there, a key of some sort. He absent-mindedly wiped a blob of pink icing off his chest and licked it while thinking. The only thing that was not actually in the wagon when it was sorted, that had been there before, was—
“Hey Twi?” Applejack pointed at the blankly staring tutor with the huge smear of pink icing across his chest. “Your coltfriend is staring.”
“He’s got a nice coat of icing,” giggled Pinkie Pie. “Do you want me to get the cupcake icer so we can make you match? His and Her’s desserts.”
Green Grass ignored Pinkie and waved one hoof vaguely. “Twilight, could you use me as a key for your unscrambling spell?”
“No. It would be too dangerous.” Twilight scooped up a napkin and went over to scrub off icing. “I can see what you were thinking, though. You were in the wagon originally when the thesis was in the base state and should retain some of the essence of its order. I could try using your hat, I suppose, but it doesn’t have any thaumaturgical resonance with the rest of the thesis.”
“The book,” said Green Grass suddenly. “The history book I was writing notes in!”
“That’s right, the book!” Twilight dropped the napkin and began drawing on his icing-smeared chest with one hoof. “It could work! The book holds a synergistic parallel to the rest of your thesis along with chronological development…” She drew furiously, spreading the icing across his body and making him cross his eyes and bite his tongue to keep from giggling. Arcane runes had almost reached his flank before Twilight finished with, “…carry the two… YES!” Flush with her victory over theoretical failures, Twilight Sparkle happily hopped around Green Grass before grabbing him firmly and kissing him right on the lips. “You genius! That deserves two!”
The tutor was not exactly on firm hooves after the first kiss, the second one dropped him to his rump on the floor as Twilight teleported out of the bakery.
A brilliant flash of light filled the room just moments after Twilight’s disappearance, illuminating Green Grass’ crimson cheeks and crossed eyes in exhausting detail for a photograph that would be treasured by a certain amateur photographer for years.
“Rainbow!”
“Hey, don’t sweat it. I’ll make you and her mom copies. I wish I could have gotten Twilight in the picture too.”