Twilight was on the road to recovery from her mental illness. She had started a new treatment, bonded with the staff, and had many friends in her ward. Now she wakes up in the center of the delusions she has been trying so hard to escape: Ponyville.
Inspired by Asylum by Daemon of Decay
Proofreaders: ArgonMatrix, The11thWonder, Gage, Breath of Plagues
Story and Plot Development Help: Daemon of Decay, AppleCrumble
Enjoyed this story? If you are looking for others set in the 'Asylumverse', support these new authors:
Broadhoof Files: Dr Humors
Broadhoof Files: Corporal Phalanx Spear
Chapters (6)
2034608
Thanks for looking at the new update, I'm glad it took a big step in the right direction. With all the feedback I'm getting very comfortable with my fanon version of TS. The better I understand her personality the easier it is getting to write.
I personally enjoyed Demon's work, and I can see why he told you to go on! Magnifique!
Now, my only question: Are the Twilights simply hallucinating parallel dreams, or have they actually been switched? That's a brain bender.
Liked and Faved, good sir!
2082301 With any luck, I'll write it well enough that it remains a brain bender until the end.
2083497
Now that's what I like to hear!
A good start. I would suggest you pay more attention to word repetitions though. Synonyms are useful in this respect.
Now, hopefully I can keep the two stories separate in my head.
2085015 Thanks, my editor mentioned the repetition too so I'm paying more attention to that now.
2085340 I'm happy to be of assistance.
By the way, can you help me with something? In the last couple of weeks, my favorites list has insisted that certain stories have unread chapters when they clearly don't. This one is one of the culprits. So I would like to ask a couple of questions: Has this story had a chapter published, and then taken down? if so, is the chapter still there, or was it deleted? If not, are there any written, but unpublished, chapters on the site? It's ok if you don't answer, but I have four unread chapters that don't exist now, and it's REALLY beginning to bug me that I don't know what's wrong.
2085982
That's interesting, I do have some unpublished chapters that have never been published yet. I put a password on them earlier today so my editors could look at them. I don't know if that's why it thinks they are there, but there are 4 more of them awaiting editing. I wonder if that error is just you, or if it's plaguing everyone who favorites my story.
You could click 'mark all as read' but then it might not tell you when I do publish a new chapter. I'll see if I can figure this out.
2086016 Thanks for answering. If there are multiple unpublished chapters and you haven't taken down any, then it may be something on my end, because I happen to know I only got an extra count of 1 from this story. I might try the 'mark all as read' option (I didn't realize what that was for until I read your post.
) but I'm a bit behind on my reading, so only 4 of the 28 unread chapters I have are glitches (I counted). It's not unfeasible to go back and unmark them, but it would be annoying. Maybe I'll ask an admin/moderator when I can figure out which would be more appropriate.
2086096
I actually had to do the same thing, actually. It was a bit odd, but once I did "mark all favorites as read" it fixed the problem for me. The good news is that, at the time, I didn't have any other unread favorites, so no problems for me.
2089258 Of course, if I do that, I'm worried that the mysterious extra count will have been because of an unpublished chapter, and then I'll miss said chapter when it's published. And yes, that's much worse then spilled milk.
2090158
Dear god man, now I'm worried about it too! And my milk!
2090213 Yes, spread the fear. My plan is working!
Now I wish I had plotted beyond the first step...
2090158 2090213
I think you need another tag. There was nothing funny at all there.
2096304 I tried to change it from dark comedy to sad and ended up with comedy. I'd blame the recent site issues, but it's more likely I suck at clicking a mouse.
Whoa.
Stories like this are the reasons why I like this site. A good story will usually get a spin-off eventually. Also, after reading the first chapter of Asylum, I completely called this idea *ahem* What?
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I love this. You helped to fill in reasons why she's there. I definitely feel sorry for her though. You did a great job showing a twilight who doesn't belong in the world of the show.
2137641>>2122473 Thanks for the comments. I'm a bit torn between waiting for editors and pushing chapters out quickly, but getting positive feedback helps my patience greatly.
2137731 I know what you mean
Making yourself wait can be the hardest thing but it usually pays off in the end.
Ohhhhh, the ol' switcheroo. Well, you'd best get chapters out quick so Daemon can include this as canon.
2137801 Understatement of the year. I keep telling Daemon of Decay to save a spot for me in the Asylum because I'm going to be certifiably insane by the time I finish my spin-off.
2137845 I've written up to the 4th chapter, just waiting on editors. They are the only thing standing between my amateur writing and hordes of angry readers with pitchforks and torches. Twilight gets to be all kinds of crazy and slowly gets more sane, instead of being sane and slowly going insane. Or something like that, I'm pretty sure she nearly burns the library down at one point.
I thought it'd be funny for the two stories to be a closed loop, Twilight infinitely going from Asylum to Sanctuary like some kind of Groundhog Day from Hell. Instead I'm taking it in a unique direction and making the references more subtle in future chapters. Half the fun is trying to figure out what in Equestria is going on.
2137849 ROFL! I'm writing a spin-off myself where I'm actually a patient
It's fun...
2137902 That sounds awesome. I was tempted to do the same thing, but writing the inverse seemed like more fun. There are so many background ponies you could explore, back-story on Nurse Ratchet, etc... It's a good universe to work in, Daemon of Decay is a pretty friendly guy. I probably would have jumped the shark around the third sentence if not for his help.
2137933 Lol. Yep. He's definitely been a lot of help. I'm glad your writing this instead of an OC story. It helps at least to fill in the gaps.
2137967 That was my goal. I get to look at it from a different perspective, and make people wonder exactly how much / if they are related. The hard part is getting it as 'mysterious' as Asylum, I still have no clue how that sucker is going to end.
I know how mine is going to end though: The ceiling collapses killing everypony. Sorry can't resist.
2138064 lol.
I'm hoping to help make the Asylum seem more real.
Gonna need a different kind of booze for this one...
Alright. *Favs story.*
Lets see Watcha got!
2139503 That's exactly what I just did!
2139503 2156667
Thanks for favorites, I aim to please. I am getting curious though what the right type of booze is. If you're drinking scotch on the rocks for Asylum, are you breaking out the vodka until my story looks pretty? Am I the story you wake up with, hungover in a stranger's bed?
Anyway, I'm excited that I have two chapters ready to come out this weekend. Being a new writer meant I had a lot to learn, so I hope you have enough alcohol left for the two 8,000 word chapters I am releasing this weekend.
2156748 Sounds awesome! I can't wait to see what happens next.
I have to point out that this is pretty dark, I know that tends to pull people away but you can't deny that it isn't.
2164126 Yeah, sad and dark. But if it helps any, the next chapter is pretty darn funny. Furthermore, I hate Tragedy (tragedy = hero tries and fails. sad = hero tries and succeeds, even if it's bittersweet.) And my story is tagged sad. (ok, I love tragedy, they just always make me emotional.)
Anyhow, I suppose that's why people were commenting about drinking hard liquor while reading it. At least it won't end with Twilight growing old and dying, forgotten by everypony due to a curse.
My feels are prepared.
Like I said before, dark or a crazy good take on it and you are leading us in every single direction BUT what the real plot is lol
2164167 Then the sorrow shall be doubled!
2164212
Of course I am, that's what makes it so fun.
And it didn't occur to me until I wrote chapter 3, but having one of the main antagonists being a voice in her head is freakin' sweet. I actually re-wrote chapter 1 and the dialogue in 2 to expand 'the voice.' What is it? What does it want? Why does it talk in italic? Nopony knows. But the freedom to make Twilight talk to herself when ever I feel like it is priceless.
This is haeded in the exact same direction of asylum by daemonofdecay
2165626
You sure bout dat?
Ahhhhhh! What are you doing here?!?!
It seems like it is so far. It has the same backgroung story for dr aj and she goes to sleep and wakes up in the other place.
2166208 The cross-references were strong in chapter one, however it is indeed headed down a different path. Most of what I do focuses on keeping many possibilities open, and sharing a little more then just being in the 'same universe' is part of it. I don't know how Asylum will end, but I doubt it'll end how mine ends. Also, next chapter Pinkie is just awesome and it'll delve into Twilight's OCPD. My Twi has issues and admits it, and I get to do some very fun things as she searches for a way to get better.
Ending Spoiler: Twilight unzips herself and one of the Pinkie Clones jumps out.
2165905 They are onto us, quick reverse the body swap! What do you mean the machine is broken?!?
2166201 He knows when you are sleeping, he knows when you're awake....
And said chapter of awesome Pinkness will post either today or tomorrow, making final edit's right now and then it's off to read Little Rarity, and do my daily stalking of BronyWriter.
This is proceeding well. Ok, not well well, because she's
, but... Oh, you know what I mean. At least, I hope you do.
I found 1.5 errors:
Additionally, sometimes it seems that a piece of dialogue could use a comma, but doesn't have one. Of course, I really like commas, so that could just be me.
The question remains, which of those would be worse?
Zecora is very difficult to write, an author who does it well is a rare sight.
Finally, directly from Wikipedia:
Though I suppose Twilight could have just read an inaccurate book.
2167458
Good feedback. I used to have a more detailed story about Scootaloo chewing her wings off, earning the nickname Scootaloon. I cut it from the chapter, though she still implies it happened. Also fixed the small typo to thoughts.
For your kindness, you may have a cookie. And a new chapter of Sanctuary. Enjoy!
(p.s. that's right, everypony owes PrinceDolph for the earlier-than-9pm-tonight release of Chapter three.)
(p.p.s. It's the best chapter yet, mostly because it had the awesomest editor, and a little because I accidentally wrote it well. Mostly the editor)
(p.p.p.s. I love Pinkie Pie!)
2167496
Yay! I get to eat a fresh chapter and read a new cookie!
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The question still remains for anypony who cares to answer: Which is worse, "forgot a friendship letter" Twilight, or "met her future self" Twilight? I personally think Lesson Zero Twilight was much worse, but I would be interested in others' thoughts.
It's K. Just pull a Fight Club and make yourself suffer another head injury.
"Looking up at the clock Twilight noticed it was 7:45. Breakfast would be open, and with any luck she could find some answers. Her mind felt numb from trying to untangle realities. Pushing the door open, she walked out into the corridor. Across the hall a pony was playing a concerto featuring what sounded like a cello. Closing the door behind her, Twilight headed down the hallway towards the common area."
…Hm… On the one hand, this mismatches the guide so much that it would be irrefutable evidence that Ponyville was this story's reality… except for two possibilities. One, since this is a fanfic of Asylum, it could be an alternate universe where things work differently. Two, it could be that the asylum is the reality, but Twilight is hallucinating or dreaming a different asylum nested within her delusion of Ponyville.
[reads a bit further]
Ah, yeah. Pegging this as a dream sequence. But is it a dream, or a dream within a delusion? And were the initial irregularities dismissed because of dream logic or because this Broadhoof works differently?
Hm… She didn't mention them… but that doesn't necessarily mean anything, given that she was preoccupied…
And now that ending. I'm rather at a loss for explanations.
2167698 I vote Lesson Zero. Future Twilight was actually pretty awesome, it's past Twilight that had issues.
2167717 Good idea, next chapter I'll give her a concussion. Then you will be really confused.
2167759 I don't get the feeling Twilight is going to get many good night's sleep in my story. First the dream / delusion / nightmare / visit back to the real world (Your hint of which one it is, was the time.) And now, the voice in her head has decided to take her on a trip down the rabbit hole.
Does the voice really know which set of memories are real? Or does it just want to torture her?