• Member Since 29th Feb, 2012
  • offline last seen Jan 5th, 2016

Juu50x


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Sort of sequel to Nightmare's Lullaby.

About a year after the defeat of Nightmare Moon, strange things are happening to Twilight. She starts to recieve strange dreams and something is... changing in her.

Chapters (14)
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Comments ( 58 )

you've caught might interest let's see if you keep it :twilightsmile:

Oh you better believe that I'm tracking this. :eeyup:

Yes, hope this turns out well, few spelling problems but I cab get pass that.
Gald you decidied to follow up on this story.

NNNGGGGHHH I NEED MOOOOAAAAAARR :flutterrage:
Seriously, though, nice job on the chapter! I'm not so sure Applejack would say "damn", though, but hey, it's your fanfic:twilightsheepish:

353709 Probably, but I'm not really good with "pony swear words" so this was the only thing that so far came to my mind.

Heavy claims first!

Anyway, time to read this new update :derpytongue2:


Edit: Great job, I only see a handful of grammar errors :o

Great story.

A fair amount of spelling errors though. I advise that you just read it through once or twice.

474615 I could, but since writing isn't my strongest point's I might "miss read" or something like, my grammar mistakes.

awesome story! looking forward to more! :pinkiehappy:
a few thoughts though, i feel like SOMEPONY at least should figure out that twi isnt exactly fine. i mean; they're friends, friends doesnt just suddenly change an opinion on you, sure if you say something that's mean they would get pretty angry with you, but what twilight did in the last chapter was incredibly out of character, somepony who's her friend should notice something. and of all of them; twi herself should recognize that there is a problem with her, even if she keeps blaming the spell, and try to do something substantial about it.
another thing as well, there quite a bit of spelling errors, its not enough for it to be hard to read, but enough for me to notice and stop; thus interrupting the flow of the story, in other words; you should get a proofreader/editor!:twilightsmile:

476979 Than you for your comment!
Oh don't worry, Twilight's friends aren't going to "ignore" her little outbursts and they are quite aware that Twilight isn't exactly 100% fine.

But this story is mostly concentrated on Twilight, and her trying to somewhat resist Nightmare's manipulations. Although, there will be a some "scenes" where they talk about Twilights behaviour and try to figure out how to help her..

And Twilight doesn't completely put the blame on spell, but also on herself. I guess I didn't put that strongly enough there.

So, would you like to be my proofreader/editor? Or do you know anyone that could?

478024
if i wasn't so damn lazy i would love to proof-read/edit for you and everyone who asked, but the problem is, as i said; way to lazy. i dont remember where i read this, but i think there are sites which proofread/edit texts of most genre's (i dont know if they are only mlp fanfiction though). but i think you're best bet would be the group on fimfiction called 'proofreaders and people willing to proof-read'

great chapter!:pinkiehappy: i really hope that twi realizes that something is incredibly wrong with her and decides to postpone the "party" until when she's sure she wont just snap and put a serious dent in her friendship with the others. although; she might notice something else being wrong when spike is acting a bit differently (i assume that she activated the changing spell, or she might just have made him pass out, either way; that's kind of strange). if she does go to the party, either to attend or tell them herself that she has something to do; things are bound to go out of control when they decide to use the pills on her while she has a certain voice in the back of her head telling her that they've betrayed her and want to get rid of her. just my spontaneous thoughts on what might happen:pinkiecrazy:
another thing, who spread the rumors about twi's little "accident" at sweet apple acres, i might have forgotten something but from what i remember; only those close to her were present.
the only real issue i would have with the chapter is that it took quite a while to get the chapter out, borderline to having to re-read the entire thing just to know what's going on, did you have a writers block or something? it's fine in any case, just feel like i have to ask.

656288 That is one of my reasons. And another reason is that I have to deal with my other fan fictions as well AND my YouTube videos, incase you haven't noticed :pinkiehappy: . And this is not the only fanfiction I'm dealing with. If you got to my FanFiction.net account, you find more stories there.

And you weren't that off. Darn! Well, this this story isn't exactly trying to hide anything, or rather, I'm not trying to hide anything :derpytongue2:
Well, it's a good thing if you liked it. I hope the next chapter won't be that much of a problem.

And well, everybody at Ponyville turned into their own conclusion since there was already that "accident" at Twilight's library and later some of them might have noticed the bizzare smoke comming from there. And who ever said everypony at Sweet Apple would keep it on themselves and might have let it slip or something... :trixieshiftleft:
Rumors can spread fast...

heres hoping this updates soon anyway tis good and i really like the muse behind it even if its a little dark but does nmm really have to be so heartless? o adn favorited? :pinkiehappy:

*Squee* UPDATE YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

aaand nmm is winning. for now at least.

Sweet, an update. Good to read. Altogether a nice chapter. Watching this possession is very, entertaining to me. Wonder what is going to happen before the end!

Few things, mainly typos that I saw:

Applejack sounded somewhat apolagetic. (apologetic)

“Huh?” Spike raised his eyebrow. “What (do) you mean?” he asked.

What did she meant (mean) by that?” Spike said, scratching his head.

do you have imagery (imaginary) friends too?

And everybody (everypony)

“You used to be cool, not cool as I though, but cool in your own way!” sounded a little awkward when I read it. Could be changed to “You used to be cool, not as cool as me, but cool in your own way!”

Those were the ones I saw. Regardless, keep up the good work I look forward to the next chapter :twilightsmile:

loved it:pinkiehappy: i was SOOOO confused at first, ended up re-reading the last chapter and skimming through the others:pinkiegasp:

edit: oh, i forgot; MOAR!!!!!:raritystarry:

great chapter!:pinkiehappy: i don't really have anything in particular to point out; there wasn't any structure or grammar mistakes that caught my eye, nor could i find anything overly confusing. everything was great in my opinion!:pinkiesmile:

"“A dragon is attacking the city /.../"
skyrim moment!:rainbowderp: i swear, i couldn't hear anything other than a typical skyrim guards voice in my head saying those exact words!:pinkiecrazy:

needs more nitroglycerin i swear:twilightoops: o and
NMM:1 EOH:0
cheers:twilightsmile:

:twilightoops: Oh boy, how are they going to get out of this one

Nice chapter, while I can't wait to get to the action, it isn't any fun if there's no suspense.
Keep up the good work.

1045963 Well thank you if you liked it :twilightsmile:

I was bit worried that this might quite boring chapter, but I guess I did OK work :twilightsheepish:

great chapter! not much happened, but there was still great progress made (how that makes sense i don't know)!:pinkiehappy:

cliffanger.............
:flutterrage::flutterrage: FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!!!!
good chapter by the way, cant wait for the next update

I want to see they discovering Twilight is Nightmare Moon :pinkiecrazy: and please say that you going to do some sort of sequel like mane 6 trying to get over the all incident :twilightsmile:

1259195 Well, you are going to have to wait for at least two one more chapter :pinkiehappy:

And I haven't really thought about sequel for this as I already have planned rather long TwiLuna story series called "Star Dust". But there is going to be at least one chapter about our main characters somewhat going through these events that had happened between them.

great chapter!

1259345

I already have planned rather long TwiLuna story series called "Star Dust".

:pinkiegasp: yeeeessss!:pinkiehappy:

damm thies cliff hangers! damm them ALL :flutterrage:

This is gonna be good 'grabs popcorn'

Poor Spikey though.

as we are closing in on the end; everything is getting better and better, but still i know, from experience; im gonna be so sad when it's over...:pinkiesad2:
oh, and it was a great chapter:pinkiehappy:! next chapter they will finally have to face twi/NMM, that's not gonna be fun for them; learning what caused the transformation, even if NMM did push them along most of the time.dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Twilight_crazy.png

“Alrighty!” a familiar voice said behind the door, making bot Pumpkin Cake and Pound Cake little excited.

She's a robot! :pinkiegasp:

Hey Author guess what, that was exactly what i was expecting to happen but since you pulled it off in a most stunning fashion have a 'stache:moustache:
and don't feel bad about me expecting it, i pride my self on the ability to see "plot twists" beofre they happen
anyways keep up the great work

That was unnecessary. However if you have Twilight beat the snot out of them even as element charged Alicorns, in her nightmare form I'll forgive you.

cheers^,=,^

1438578 Well, you shall see probably soon because I'm already done with the 13th chapter. I finished it last night! :yay:
I just wait that my Proof-Reader is done with it. Hopefully later this evening.

great chapter! i have to say, i was expecting them be "drowning" in her mane and then having something incredibly cliché happening, like twilight intervening.

But, they weren't solid, but ethereal like her mane and wings.

using "but" twice like that makes it sound really really repetitive.

oh, and flames:
2.bp.blogspot.com/-Udv-5UFPAZA/T8am1MlvsjI/AAAAAAAAAMk/4ljf__mmT8E/s1600/flames.jpg

1441369 Well, of course I couldn't have Twilight come to intervene, that would have been impossible for her as since Nightmare is running the shots for the moment.

And yes, I know I made it sound bit repitive, but I was out of ideas :twilightsheepish:
And what about the flames :rainbowhuh:

1443949
i was referring to twilight taking control or really start to fight back, causing her to lose focus on her magic and thus releasing them.

"while the two pegasi grew horns and wings rose for the unicorn. They weren't solid though, but ethereal like her own mane and wings."
you could have done something like that instead.

and the flames: im "flaming" you dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Pinkie_loool.png (worst joke ever) (reason: you said no flames)

1444733 That's what I meant.
Well, when you writing the last moments of this chapter in middle of the night you might not think about something that at the moment :twilightsheepish:
Oh, I see :derpytongue2:

that chapter was strange, it felt both a little cliché and not at the same time. looking forward to seeing the next chapter clear everything up.

good ending, although a tad unsatisfying, you tied up every lose thread, but did so rather quickly.
i was getting a little angry at them for not mentioning that they tried drugging twi, but in the end they did, so all is well!:pinkiehappy: the ending (the battle) had a bit of a Deus ex Machina there with the elements, not that bad, but still (and yes, this is the chapter after, but i didn't think of it before now).

edit: or is it still incomplete? you say that it's done but it's still tagged as incomplete; have too make sure you know

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