VI. All Good Things
Twilight looked around the room for something—anything—else out of the ordinary. She was back in her room, where she belonged—yet somehow the rabbit Angel had come with her. He was sitting on her desk thumping his foot.
“Well, don’t look at me! I was about to accept that Ponyville was real. It’s your fault for tagging along,” Twilight said.
Angel pantomimed and made several noises she couldn’t decipher.
“Okay, I just have to think logically. When a doctor comes to check on me, surely he’ll believe my story. I brought back proof!”
Angel shook his head and made circles around his ear with his paw.
“I’m not crazy! Well. . .I am, but not that kind of crazy,” Twilight explained.
There was a loud knocking on the door, followed by the clinking of keys in the lock. After their visitor had fumbled around for a little while, Applejack walked in and closed the door behind her.
Twilight immediately knew something was off. Her white lab coat seemed wrinkled, and her eyes darted around the room. She shook the thoughts from her head.
“Doctor Applejack! Am I gla—”
“Hold your horses,” Applejack interrupted. “Twilight, ah ain’t a doctor ah work on the farm, remember? Weren’t we havin’ a picnic just a minute ago?”
Twilight’s mouth dropped open in shock. “Wait. . . if you’re not from here, then i must have trapped you in my delusions! One second—” She ran over to her bookshelf and began looking for a particular book. The book Time, The Universe, and Everything was pulled off the shelf. “Here, by Time Turner, an illustrated fillies guide to space-time. . .”
Twilight tossed the book on her desk and moaned. She wasn’t a foal, she was a grown mare. After having her magic silenced, why wouldn’t they have let her study some college level books? “Great, I really am sick. They gave me a foal’s book on quantum mechanics.”
“Look, Twilight, ah don’t know what y’all are goin’ on about but can ya get me home?” Applejack asked.
Yeah, Angel seemed to say as he squealed at Twilight.
Twilight brought a hoof up to her mouth and thought for a moment. “Well, I’m not sure how I dragged you two across, let alone how I got back. First thing's first, we need to get this magical limiter off my horn. Maybe then I can figure something out.”
“Great. How do ah do it?” Applejack asked.
Twilight gestured to the door. “Head down the hall to the nurses station. Use your ID badge to unlock the door. They keep the keys on a wall safe in there. You should have the key to the safe on your belt. Come back with the key matching my room number, and you can unlock the limiter.”
“Alright, ah’m on it,” she replied. Applejack instinctively reached to tip her hat, finding nothing but air with her hoof. She grinned, cocking the right side of her face into a smile.
“One other thing,” Twilight added, chuckling at her smug grin. “Don’t do anything suspicious.”
Applejack nodded before disappearing into the hallway, locking the door behind her. Twilight had time to dig through a few more books, frantically cross-referencing any of the woefully inadequate books that help promise. She was essentially creating her own magic from an assortment of elementary school books. Had her intellect not been exceptional, it would have proven impossible.
The spell she was writing down seemed likely enough to work—she just had to test it on Angel or Applejack. There was a knock at her door. Twilight grunted and looked as the round door handle, knowing it was always locked from the outside. Applejack turned the key and the tumblers clicked, allowing her back inside.
“Okay, ah got the key, but is it safe? It looks like there’s a lot of security, and if y’all are sick is this best for ya health? They put a dampener on; it must be for a reason,” Applejack said.
“Oh, yeah. . .” Twilight looked away shyly. “I uh—when I failed out of the school for gifted unicorns, I didn’t take it well. I hurt some of the judges. I kept practicing, hoping I could get good enough to earn another try, but then I hurt my brother.” She lowered her head, ears flat against her head, and finally admitted to herself why she was there. “I was too tenacious for my own safety.”
Applejack walked over and placed a hoof on her shoulder. “Look, Twilight, ya may not be exactly the mare ah know, but ah trust ya. If anypony can fix whatever happened to us, I’m thinkin’ it’s you, Sugarcube.”
Twilight smiled and looked up to meet her eyes. “Thanks. Ponies don’t usually trust me. They just assume I’m crazy, even when I try really hard to be nice.”
“Well, you're certainly not crazy. Ah reckon you just got a few phobias and a streak of bad luck. Why don’t we give this spell a shot?”
Applejack took the key out and used it to unlock Twilight’s magical limiter. It dangled from her horn loosely, no longer blocking her magic. She lifted it off with her hooves and felt her sixth sense stretch out, feeling the magic all around the room. It was like in Ponyville, but instead of eagerness, she felt fear. She had hurt herself in Ponyville, and Twilight was okay with that. Now, she had to cast a spell on her friends, and she was scared it could kill them.
Twilight closed her eyes and studied the conduits of magical energy—leylines—that flowed around the room. A solid yellow one with pink streaks was attached to Angel, and an orange one to Applejack. They seemed to flow to a different place than the others.
“I think I can send you back, but I’m not sure if it’ll bring back my Doctor Applejack, or if she’d even believe me. I think we should save you for last,” Twilight explained.
“All right, then why don’t we try it on Angel, and then check on the rest of the girls?”
“Sounds good to me,” Twilight said. She watched as Angel backed up and crossed his arms, shaking his head no. “Sorry, the vote is two to one.”
Twilight’s horn glowed. She closed her eyes and focused on teleporting Angel along the magical path that was connected to him. If her theory was correct it should lead him back to his world. One of her activity books had explained leylines using colorful mazes. They were how unicorns could teleport or send letters. When a pony used one, they temporarily broke the circuit of that leyline, and flowed along it.
Could it be that simple? They’re clogging a leyline? Twilight tried to slow her nervous breathing, recalling her brother. He always told me I could do it, that if I were patient, I would succeed and. . . he always said he loved me just the way I am.
There was a pop and a faint smell of sulfur, and Angel was gone. “Well, he’s back where he belongs—or I may have vaporized him.” Twilight turned to Applejack and chuckled weakly. “Let’s be optimistic, okay?”
“Sure thing, Sugarcub—” Applejack was cut off by a knock at the door. Twilight put the limiter back on her horn but didn’t lock it. A moment later a doctor plowed in.
“Thanks Celestia, there you are! Applejack, we need your help.” He slowed down to catch his breath, quickly levitating his stethoscope off the floor. “Several of the patients are having episodes. Dash had one in the middle of prepping her for a lobotomy!” he said.
Applejack had no clue who he was, but she quickly smiled and spoke confidently. “Ah’ll be right there.” She held the door open while the panicked unicorn ran off to help round up more doctors. “Come on, Twilight.”
Twilight followed her out into the hallway. She spotted Lyra sprinting down a corridor, which when she thought about it, was a normal occurrence. Rose Luck was being hogtied by two orderlies, and she saw Cloud slumped against the wall. Twilight recalled he was so violent they lobotomized him, and ever since, all he did was stare off into space.
“We have to save Dash!” Twilight pleaded, sliding against Applejack for safety.
“We will, but ya heard them. It’s in a surgery and ah bet there’ll be lots of Doctors in there. Best get the easy ones first, whose closest?” she asked.
“That’d be. . . Fluttershy. Her room is right down the first hall,” Twilight said. She led Applejack around the corner and three doors down the right side.
Fluttershy
18 y/o female
avoidant personality disorder
“You have a key for this too?” Twilight asked.
“Uh, I think so.” She pulled out her ID badge and waved it over the lock. The light flashed green and the door opened.
“Oh no, they’ve come for me!” Fluttershy squeaked and hid under her blanket.
“It’s okay, Fluttershy, it’s us,” Applejack said.
“Wha—” She crawled out from under her blanket to face the two of them.
“I can send you back home—I think—I don’t know how but I seemed to have brought you here,” Twilight explained.
“Is it safe?” Fluttershy poked her head out of the bundle of blankets, looking with concern at several birds in their cages. They were chirping words of encouragement to her.
“Of course it is,” Twilight smiled. “Angel seemed all right. Well, I mean, you’re clearly not birdgirl, so if I cast the spell and you leave and she comes back, I’ll know it worked.”
“I um, don’t want you to cast it on me.” She gulped and began to blush. “If that’s all right with you?” whispered Fluttershy.
“Sorry, Sugarcube, we’ve gotta hurry and get all the gals back home,” Applejack explained. “Besides, ya don’t really want to stay in this tiny room with all these birds, do ya?’
“Oh dear, I do hope the other Fluttershy is a kind pony,” she said.
“She is very nice to animals. She just hasn’t figured out ponies yet,” Twilight offered. It was true, and seemed to calm Fluttershy down. With memories clicking into place, the spell seemed slightly easier to begin channeling.
She charged her horn and aimed at Fluttershy. Twilight kept expecting some wave of pain to wash over her, or some distraction to make her lose her focus. Ever since hurting Shining Armor, she had been unable to cast magic. Yet now, she was finding that it was easier than she recalled. All those years of having my magic blocked, was it always this easy? Have I been scared of hurting somepony again, or hiding from the magic, blaming it for my mistakes?
Twilight plucked on the leyline attached to Fluttershy and teleported her down it. There was a bright flash, and a moment later they heard a scream.
Fluttershy screeched and threw the blanket off, before backing up against the wall. “What are you doing in here? Get out! You’ll scare the birds!”
Applejack tilted her head and looked over to Twilight. “Ah reckon that means it worked?”
“Yep, now let’s find the next one,” Twilight said.
They closed the door, muffling the shouts of shock. Twilight put the unlocked magical limiter on her horn as a disguise, and they headed for the stairwell. Applejack used her card to let them in. They went down one floor to where nurse Rarity worked.
Rarity was surrounded by fillies who had taken yarn from arts and crafts and were running around her, trying to tie her up. She was using her magic to cut the yarn and try to keep the rowdy children under control. “Somepony! Where are all the adults, I need a hoof here!” Rarity called out.
“Get back to your beds for a nap, children!” Applejack said with authority. They looked over and seemed to recognize the doctor. They knew doctors gave shots and medicines, sending several of them scurrying under a nearby couch. Others tripped and fell over their fellow ponies, and a few were smart enough to find their way back to their small bedrooms and get in bed.
“Oh, thank goodness. Applejack, Twilight, how’d we end up here?” Rarity asked.
“It’s a long story, but I can fix it,” Twilight offered.
“Please, anything to get away from these craz—” Rarity froze as her eyes fell onto a familiar pink and purple mane. “Sweetie?”
Twilight followed her gaze to the little unicorn who was sitting in a chair, staring blankly out a window. “No, Rarity, don’t!”
Rarity started to walk over and saw the reason for her blank stare. “No!” She began to cry.
“Rarity, it’s not your Sweetie. Remember that! It’s time for you to go home!” Twilight said.
She removed the limiter and began channeling magic. In seconds the now-familiar spell had been cast and Rarity seemed to shimmer and vibrate. Seconds later, the nurse looked at them with concern.
“Applejack, look out! Her limiter is off!” Rarity shouted. She charged up her horn but Applejack stepped between them.
“Look here, Missy.” She stood up straight, taking on a more friendly posture. “Ah reckon you were just on a grassy knoll or somethin’ right? Somewhere far from this here hospital?”
“How did you know—” Rarity looked down and noticed she had been standing in front of Sweetie. She knelt down and kissed her on the forehead. “It’s okay, Sweetie, sister is back.”
“I think we should find Pinkie next, then hurry to the operating room to save Dash,” Twilight said.
“Wait,” Rarity walked around to join their conversation. “You mean others came here with you?”
Twilight looked at the tiled floor and ran a hoof along it. “Yeah, I think I trapped a bunch of ponies here, and they want to lobotomize the wrong Rainbow Dash.”
“Ah don’t know where the operating room is. They’re gonna lobotomize Dash before we can send her back, if we don’t leave now” Applejack said.
“We can’t just burst in there, they will have guards,” Rarity explained. “For the lobotomies they usually have two guards, a nurse, and two doctors. I’ll help you sort whatever this is out, because when you burst in to save your friend Dash, it’ll be the last thing you do.”
Rarity was chewing on her lip and Applejack walked over to instill some confidence. “Y’all okay, Rare?”
“Look, I don’t know what’s going on, but there’s no way we’re all having the same delusion. If you swear to me, Doctor, that you were really on that hill having a picnic moments ago—then I’ll help you.”
“That’s the honest truth,” Applejack said. “This is the Twilight ya know from the hospital, but ah’m a farm pony from Ponyville. Your Doctor is stuck there too.”
Rarity gasped and raised a hoof to her forehead. “Wait—you’re not even a Doctor? How do you know she’s telling the truth?”
“Because I’m the element of Honesty, ah can smell a lie a mile away,” she replied.
The three stood there exchanging glances for a moment. “Okay, the medium security wing is down that hallway. Pinkie will be in there.” They galloped over to the door and Rarity used her badge to grant them access.
They headed down a corridor and found Pinkie in her room, throwing a party for herself.
“Oh, hey girls! Look, I’m throwing a party for waking up in a strange place I’ve never been to before!” Her mane deflated a bit as she stopped bouncing on the thin mattress. “I don’t suppose I can go home now, can I? It’s no fun to party alone.”
Twilight looked at her and nodded. “Yes, I can send you home.” This time the spell came naturally, making Pinkie look like she was having quite a doozy of a pinkie sense. Somehow Twilight could tell it was working, not doubting that for once she could do something without hurting anypony.
“Hey Twilight, let’s put a smile on that face!” Pinkie shouted. Her mane had straightened out completely and she was juggling cupcakes. “Look at me go! Haha!”
“Come on,” Rarity said. “It looks like you’re done here.” She closed the door and they turned to head for the operating room.
“Applejack! Rarity!” an upset unicorn yelled. The head nurse came barreling down the hallway, anger seeping off her stern face. Her grimace carried enough rage to last a normal pony a lifetime.
“What is she doing without her limiter?” she screamed at them. “You’ve finally crossed the line! I’ll have you both fir—”
Applejack ignored her, walking by, while the irate Nurse screamed at Rarity. There was a loud cracking sound as Applejack hit her in the back of the head. She collapsed on the floor, unconscious. Rarity began to laugh. “You have no idea how long the other you has been wanting to do that.”
“Ah hope ya tell the other me all about it, because she’s the one whose gonna have to deal with it,” Applejack said. “Now, where’s the lobotomy s’posed to be happenin’?”
“Follow me,” Rarity said. She lead them to a nearby stairwell and down one floor.
“Now Twilight, when we get to Dash y’all are gonna have to cast it on the both of us before they restrain ya. I’m not gonna lie, barging into the middle of a surgery and castin’ magic probably is gonna set your treatment back,” Applejack explained. She walked over and hugged Twilight.
“I’ll do my best to ensure it won’t, and I’ll explain what I saw happen,” Rarity said. “The moment you start casting you’re likely to be tackled, sedated, and restrained. You should know—I’m so very grateful you brought me back here. If I’d stayed trapped at that picnic, I’d never have seen my Sweetie again.”
Twilight smiled at the compliment, feeling a swelling of pride. I’ve done it, haven’t I? I’m finally being the hero and saving the day. It’s not a fantasy or a dream, and I didn’t have to be the star pupil of Celestia. I’m being the hero just by being the normal me. Perhaps I never had to try so hard, I just had to wait for a moment to use my magic for good.
Twilight erased her smile and set her mind to the task at hoof. “Okay, which one is the OR?”
“Second door on the left is where they perform the lobotomies,” Rarity said. Venom dripped from her voice as she spoke.
Twilight walked over to the outer doors. Inside were two guards and behind those doors, must be the procedure room. “Applejack, you sure I shouldn’t cast it on you now?”
“Ah’m not leavin’ ya to do it alone. You’re my friend, Twilight. After we save Dash, then ya can cast it on me,” Applejack said.
“Alright, here goes nothing,” Twilight said.
She charged through the doors and into the main operating theater. The dumbstruck guards shook their heads, and chased Twilight. Applejack quickly ran in, joining the chast. When she caught up to the guards seconds later, she jumped forward and hit them both on the back of the head with her hooves. Rarity followed in last, standing near the two unconscious security team members. Dash was writhing around on an operating table, held fast by thick leather restraints.
“Let me go!” Dash screamed. “You’ve got the wrong pegasus!” She was thrashing around helplessly against the thick leather restraints. “Please no!” She headbutted a nearby doctor before a nearby nurse and orderly pinned her head down, strapping it in place. “Somepony! Anypony! Help!”
Twilight walked up to the foot of the slanted table. “It’s okay, Dash. I’m here.” All the medical ponies in the room turned to stare in shock at the newcomer.
“Twilight?” Dash began to cry. “Oh thank Celestia!” The orderlies and doctors around the room stopped staring and slowly circled around Twilight.
“Now or never, Darling!” Rarity shouted, shoving a nurse to the ground who had been drawing a syringe of sedative.
Twilight closed her eyes and began channeling. She simultaneously reached out to Applejack and Dash at the same time. Twilight knew them so well, they almost felt like a part of her. Her whole world went dark as she shut off her senses and focused all her effort on saving her friends.
“Tackle her, Silas! She doesn’t have her limiter!” somepony shouted.
She bit her lip and, with a surge of energy, felt Applejack and Dash get sent off to their proper place. Twilight felt a huge, heavy pony land on her and heard Rarity scream. A confused Doctor Applejack got to her feet just in time to see Dash began thrashing and barking wildly.
Twilight smiled with pride as she felt a needle slip into her neck. “I did it. . .”
“What’s going on here?” Applejack asked. Twilight tried to stay conscious, but within seconds she had blacked out.
Six months later
Applejack and Rarity sat in front of a medical board, explaining their petition to release Twilight. Though Applejack had to take Rarity’s word for it, not caring much for the intricacies of magic, she trusted every word. All it took was a session with Twilight after she was released from observation in a padded cell, and she knew Twilight believed every word of it.
“Well, the evidence is certainly compelling, but it was only six months ago she had her last psychotic episode. I know you two consider yourself her friends, but how do we know she is really better?” the lead doctor asked.
“Dr. Mind, in these six months she has not had a single relapse, hallucination, or episode. Less than a week ago we got approval to scan her without the limiter on while she was unconscious. We found no signs of magical atrophy or brain damage.” Applejack pointed to the CT scan they had sitting in the middle of the desk. “She is not only physically healthy, but somehow she seems to have cured herself during the last episode.”
“Patients don’t cure themselves by having a psychotic episode. Even you know that.” He inhaled deeply and sighed, not finding any way to fit this clearly impossible medical scenario into any case study he had ever heard of. “It just doesn’t happen. . .”
“Yes, sir. But Twilight did. I was there, she was talking as if she was sending the delusions home. She honestly believes she rescued them, sent them away, and has never seen them again. Whether it really happened or not, she absolutely believes the delusions are gone and has not seen them since. I’ve talked to the other nurses, and she’s been the perfect patient since then,” Rarity said.
Dr. Mind tapped his pen on the table a few times while thinking about it. Finally he signed the form and smiled at the two. “Like I said, the evidence is there even if the medical community and I can’t figure it out. Whatever happened that day, we’ll never know.”
Applejack and Rarity smiled and stood up. “Thank you so much, sir, we’ll send for her family at once.”
“Yes, and Doctor,” he called out.
“Yes, Dr. Mind?”
“Next time you’re handling a patient during an episode, do warn the head nurse. As I recall, Twilight kicked her in the back of the head, knocking her unconscious. I thought I’d personally tell you we’re dismissing her complaint against you.” Dr. Mind smiled widely and chuckled. “Please be more careful around our nurses in the future.”
Applejack returned a knowing grin, grateful the head nurse’s complaint had been dismissed.
Twilight was a free mare; a new mare. She walked through the lobby of the hospital with her saddlebags. On one side was her illustrated book about space and time, and on the other was Smarty Pants and a change of clothes.
Just over six months ago everything had clicked into place for her. She had discovered who she really was. She was not the savior of Equestria, not the element of magic. She was Twilight Sparkle.
Twilight was a clever filly who had thrown herself into her studies, taking them far too seriously. Once she realized she was just a normal unicorn, she had saved the lives of all her friends by sending them back to Ponyville.
Applejack and Rarity were the only ones who seemed to believe her story in the slightest. Eventually, Twilight wasn’t even sure if any of it had really happened.
She stepped out into the bright sunlight, feeling the grass beneath her hooves and the cool spring breeze. Twilight knew it didn’t matter whether it really happened or not. For a day she had gotten to be the hero, and she hadn’t felt the urge to escape reality and live in her fantasies ever since.
Ahead of her Shining was waiting, a large, sloppy grin on his face. He started to rush forward to hug her. Twilight’s estranged parents were there too, and she caught them smile at each other.
Twilight broke into her own gallop to meet them.
“I’m better!” She leapt into Shining’s hooves and hugged her big brother.
Also LikedSimilarAuthor
- TypewriterError · 14k words · 69 0 · 2.6k views
- Kaidan · 55k words · 159 15 · 6.6k views
- AidanMaxwell · 29k words · 32 1 · 2.3k views
- The wandering commenter · 1.3k words · 14 4 · 674 views
- Draconian Soul · 3.8k words · 185 26 · 4.2k views
- Daxn · 8.5k words · 24 9 · 2.5k views
- Regidar · 2.6k words · 94 14 · 2.1k views
- Windchaser · 3.4k words · 31 9 · 3.9k views
Stats
Page generated in 0.15 seconds
Total duration
818 users online
485,371 hits today, 1,822,946 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
More crazy pony? ....*begins cackling*
i'm with typewritererror.... MORE CrAzY P0Ny?
Very good can't wait to see more of you work, I did sadly find one small error....
clearly not birdgir,l so
And now I play the waiting game. Daemon's story still isn't done yet. Still, good work overall.
But how was the ending!? I must know! Was it satisfying? Did it wrap it up satisfactorily?
Was the fact you never find out if it was real or not make it awesomer?
2674427 Thanks :)
2674397 You passed my test. When I take over the world, you get your choice of islands.
2673361 Yeah! Crazier than Twilight's Dollhouse! It's about Da—
2673208 Just not sure how crazy ____ is going to be, and how, but dammit I wanna write a ___ and this is the only way I can do it and not feel like a sellout! It'll be cool, with robots, and cloning, and incredibly polarizing medical issues like DNR's and what consitutes death....
But yeah, I'm gonna f ___sh up because she hasn't had a proper "crazy" story as far as I can tell. Sure, she had Ra______ __tor_, but they never explain why she did it. I want her to be like, padded cells and wing bondage.
2675413 _______!
Interesting. Did Twilight project her insanity onto those who she made into her friends, or did she perform an interdimensional mind swap? We'll never know.
Not bad, but some of the plot threads just feel abandoned, especially whatever was happening in Twilight's head. It's one thing to leave us guessing, it's another to leave significant sections of the story unresolved. I liked what you did here, but it feels far too neat, like you squeezed the whole rest of the story into this one chapter, excising whatever didn't fit.
I guess I'm saying you did the ending well, but it could've been better.
2675413 hmmmm... Give me New Zealand.
2675724
Valid points, I knew I was leaving stuff unfinished. I've been out of ideas (and motivation) to finish it at all for awhile. Daemon of Decay taught me that it is best to end a story than leave it incomplete, but I honestly had no idea where I was going with the story.
Back when I was but a learner, I just threw stuff in Sanctuary because it sounded cool.
Trying to sort it out in the ninth inning was hard and eventually, I decided to put that effort into a "new crazy pony" story now that I have the experience to do it right.
Thanks, though, for letting me know what you thought. At least one person is still reading this story after six months.
And so it ends. It was a good run, mate.
Oh no, not you again! What is it with you and crazy ponies? Twilight the dollmaker, possessed Octavia and now this? What other crazy pony stories are you keeping from me?
Ahem, disregard that. I really need to take a proper look at your story list. This one, just like the Octavia one and the Dollhouse, was a joy to read. You've really captured the feeling of confusion that Twilight had and made it work well. I'd say: keep up the good work.
2679729
It was a pleasure writing for you.
t3.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcTVEsuC9I04IQuqdUG808rMpd35RYdJlnvtpzXf692FgYJOrMA-pg
2681163
I'm starting another crazy pony story, but my friends always confuse me. I have a good idea, then they poke it full of holes and watch it bleed out.
Well, nice to know its the end, kinda.
I'm a bit disappointed by Twilight's methods here. I would have much preferred they try and round up everyone first and then teleport them. I mean, they could always have used Fluttershy and Rarity to get Rainbow Dash. With the whole Ponyville gang there, it would have been a thousand times easier proving Twilight was normal, and it would have had a happier ending. But eh, the ending would have had a different ending, and wouldn't have had the same results exactly.
Also the part about Rarity managing to prove that Twilight was/is normal seems not believable. Twilight's loss of interest to 'Ponyville' seems odd. What if she is the Ponyville Twilight? What if there is no Twilight at all in Ponyville? Wouldn't she at least want to be sure? Its a bit of an out-of-character moment there.
I hope you take this criticism as positive criticism. Or I'm a goner.
I do like Twilight's Dollhouse a lot, and a lot of your other material, totally a fan here.
Hey, I don't think I left a comment yet...
Well, great story, even if it did end a little abruptly, I'll keep an eye out for more from you!
2702384
I'm glad you enjoyed it. When I was a new author with only one terrible story to my name, I started reading Asylum. Daemon made an off-hand remark that there should be a story where the opposite happens: Crazy Twilight wakes up in Ponyville.
Thus, I asked him for permission to do it, he was super cool and after helping edit it, blogged about it and linked it. Slowly that lead to more chapters, more followers, and helped me get started as an author.
Anyway, I say that just to point out, I had originally hoped to make it a much longer "inverse Asylum" story and mirror the length of Asylum. With my other stories, and the fact Daemon is just so damn good at writing these 10k word chapters, and the fact I completely ran out of ideas/steam, I decided to focus on my other stories.
So, I found a tidy way to wrap it up since I don't believe in incomplete stories. Was it all in her head the whole time, or did she really travel dimensions? Did she really 'send her friends back' or was that one final grandiose delusion?
Nopony but Twilight knows.
Awesome ending!
2702405 Tell me now. TELL ME RIGHT NOW.
2853432
It's a secret, I'll send a raven with a note attached to it's leg that tells you the truth.
2853723 Why not a Jacob?
2853725
I'm all out of Jacob's, all I have are ravens and a cat.
Too bad~
I loved this story, but I am super confused. Is Ponyville real and she just went to another dimension? Were Applejack and Rarity really trapped at the Ponyville picnic?
Finally done, after three or four months of being in my Read Later list. No idea what took so long.
In general it was a very interesting feeling to go back to the past, reading something that's older than my follower-ship. I could tell how this was indeed during one of your earlier days, having this obvious 'still a pretty new writer' to it, ans the quality doesn't even come close to your modern epics (I thibk I will reread Puppet eventually for that matter).
Story itself was a little confusing and had some unanswered questions. I don't quite get what the purpose of that voice and Sparkle were. I also didn't get why suddenly the mane six was switched with the in-brain mane six.
Come to think of it, I'm not even sure what this story is about in the first place. Twilight hurt Shining and now she put herself into an asylum?
But as I said, as such an old fic, I can easily excuse that. Also the obvious lack of editors (haven't seen so many uncapitalized I's in any other story of yours so far :V).
Loved it. Hope Asylum ends just as well, if only for Sweetie Belle's sake. Even I never did that to her. *shudder*
One quick typo, though.
Dr. Mind seems to be getting a lot of work, doesn't he?
Anyhoo. Loved the story. Really kept my attention the entire time. Among your very best story-wise, I think. .
this was a good story, but at the end you didnt clear up what happened. was the whole thing just one of her episodes, or is the real twilight trapped in her new reality forever? did everybody make it back ok?
4214550 Ponyville that twilight knew doesn't exist, twilight had a psychotic episode of where she sends all her friends back which was her way of banishing her delusion
That was really good!!!
Well I must say, I am the type for hospital stories which is why my first 2 are in a hospital. *sighs* I really need to get out more...
what is a lobotomy?
5778077
That is the removal of a lobe*.(lobe = section/part) In this case referring to the frontal lobe of the brain. That area is best known for housing thought process and personality. Without that someone would be like a zombie, just not trying to eat brains. Patients that have gone through this are known to drool a lot, stair into space, and be unable to have conversation.
6393806 Ok thanks!
3047097
This story will make a great deal more sense if you read Asylum (the fic this was indpired by) first as this one relies on a lot of backstory covered in it. I can't imagine how confusing much of this must be without having read it lol
6748673
Despite my comment being more than two years old (you do realize that, right?) I can still recall that I did read Asylum before this story. However, it's been such a long time since then, I can't even recall what happened in here.
6750939
Nope. I failed to notice how old the comment was. I suppose I become less observant as it becomes later and I do apologize for dredging up something so terribly old and irrelevant. I should have paid more attention; that was certainly my failing and I'm sorry. I won't apologize for trying to be helpful as far as mentioning source info goes though, since your comment didn't seem to indicate having forgotten info and rather seemed to point to a lack of realizing this story relied on another at all. Which is why I thought I was being helpful by mentioning it. Though judging by your reply, I did a poor job of communicating that tone and accidentally came off as sounding more rude, or perhaps condescending - of which I assure you was not my intention. Sorry if it came across that way! I will apologize for any offense you may have taken from my failure to communicate the intended feeling behind the reply (if not for that reply itself), again, sorry!
So...I take this
to mean that in that story, she actually does have a life in Ponyville? (if you can't recall where that quote is from, it's from a reply to another user's comment.)
Well...this is further proof that I am very influenced by what I read before certain things, such as this story and this story. In my honest opinion, the linked story is better, which is quite sad, as I've just spent at least an hour reading this story and its comments...*sigh*
7739698
You should read Asylum, it's a good story. Daemon wrote a story where Twilight wakes up in a mental institution and as far as everyone is concerned she's crazy. So I wrote my story when he made a comment about what if an insane Twilight woke up in Ponyville where everyone though she was normal (sort of like they had traded places.)
7739935
I'll give it a look, then!
That was disappointing.
I was absolutely loving this story, but the ending is terrible. The events of chapter 4 are entirely unresolved and the events of chapter 6 come out of nowhere. A lot of things seem unexplained (especially some of the stuff alluded to in chapter 6) and from what I can tell, I need to read Asylum to understand.
I will stress that the first five chapters have excellent suspense, narration, and pacing. The general story of the show's events being a delusion is always a cool idea and your interpretation was great.