The Traveling Tutor and the Librarian
Saying Goodnight
The prison corridor of Canterlot General Hospital was so infrequently used that most of the cells had been converted to cleaning supply storage and a location to store blank forms that had become outdated but were still too new to throw away⁽*⁾. A rather bedraggled unicorn stallion lay uncomfortably strapped to an observation bed in one of the rooms, the low light inside showing a narrow path between towering stacks of ‘PM-427b Stethoscope Sterilization Reports’ and the tips of his hooves. It had been several hours since he had been escorted to the facility and administered a magical purgative to remove the last remnants of his backfired spell, and nopony had shown one tiny bit of sympathy to his calls for assistance since. With the hefty magical suppression ring bolted to his horn, he could not even loosen the uncomfortably tight straps that bound his hooves.
(*) No joke.
—
At long last, a set of hoofsteps sounded in the hallway. They could only be headed for his room, and Euripides carefully went over the list of excuses and alibis he had prepared over the last few hours, until the wearer of those shoes opened the door and his mouth went bone-dry.
“Good evening, Lord Euripides,” said Princess Celestia tonelessly. “Did you enjoy the party?”
A frog in the desert would have been able to make more noise than the blonde-maned stallion, sitting there with his mouth soundlessly opening and closing. The Princess’ horn lit up, and the straps began to withdraw from his hooves, but he remained as rooted in place as if he had been glued to the table.
“We shall make this visit short. You displease me. You assaulted Twilight Sparkle. In a week’s time, you will be faced with a magistrate of our courts, who will judge your guilt and assign thy punishment.” The violet eyes of the Princess bored into his own with such excruciating intensity it felt as if her gaze were reflecting off the back of his skull. “Do you wish a degree of clemency to be applied to your case?”
Helplessly, he nodded.
“Good. It occurs to me that your attempted actions against the young Miss Sparkle may not have been from malice or avarice. Perhaps you were simply unable to comprehend the magnitude of your misdeed. Would that be a possibility?” The Princess looked emotionlessly at him as she lit her horn.
“Yes,” he croaked painfully, nodding at the same time.
“Wouldst thou be willing to accept a few hours of education in order to lessen thy punishment?” The lights in the room began to dim as the darkness rolled in like inky smoke, slowly swirling around the base of the boxes and climbing up his bed as if it were drawn to him. Euripides was nearly unable to speak. His attention was completely riveted to Princess Celestia looming over him and the small pool of golden light surrounding them while the darkness coiled hungrily outside its protective glow.
“Yes,” he managed to squeak.
“Very well.” The golden light from Princess Celestia’s horn wrapped around him in a warm embrace, much like dropping into a hot tub. The world seemed to grow slightly, and a pink tinge raced over his coat while the horn restraint fell to the ground with a clatter. Groping at his head, he found his horn vanishing into his forehead, as well as the bizarre sensation of something else near and dear to him at the other end vanishing too.
“What are you doing?” asked a high-pitched and very feminine voice that he realized with a jolt came out of his own mouth. Clutching a pair of delicate hooves to his face, or more correctly her face as she suddenly realized, Euripides let out a shrill girlish shriek.
“Now, now, young lady,” purred Celestia as the scream suddenly cut off. “You are simply going to learn a small lesson on how the other half lives. Have fun at the party.” A wave of darkness swept up around the young mare, and in the blink of an eye, she found herself in the middle of a scene she had been in many times as a stallion in college: a fraternity party, with dozens of well-dressed stallions all staring with hungry eyes at the delicate little pink earth pony who had dropped into their midst.
* * *
Princess Luna trotted quietly down the hospital corridor, stopping before the Royal Guard who stood stoically in front of an unlabeled hospital door.
“Sergeant Sweets, is the prisoner still asleep?” Luna peeked through the observation window to see the handsome unicorn stallion still strapped firmly to the table, tossing and turning as if in the grip of a powerful dream.
“Yes, Your Highness. The nurses said the medication would keep him out for a few more hours.”
“Well, the civil service has much to do tomorrow, and many of them will be spending additional time with their families. Allow the prisoner to sleep until noon before you begin processing. They all could use the additional sleep.”
The Royal Guard saluted crisply. “Of course, Your Highness. Thank you.”
The Princess of the Night took one last look at the sleeping prisoner before turning to leave. “Keep up the good work. Goodnight Sergeant. Sweet dreams, Lord Euripides.”
* * *
The walk home with Twilight Sparkle took on a magical air under the moonlight and scattered blowing snowflakes that continued to fall⁽¹⁾. What should have been a few minutes stroll along the snowy streets of nighttime Canterlot turned into a wandering of epic proportions, through the sleeping city, past the closed ice skating ponds, and along the icicle-encrusted waterfalls glittering like jewels in the moonlight. It seemed as if each block had a tiny park or Hearth’s Warming decoration that needed to be admired, every wide spot in the street an excuse to look up into the sky and gaze at a different star. They could have walked all night, if not for the quiet sniffling of their chilly guards growing louder as the night progressed, but after delaying as much as they could, they eventually turned their hooves for home.
(1) The Night Guard pegasi on their protective detail kept bumping the clouds they were using for cover.
—
To both of their surprise, as they approached House Twinkle, a stallion lurched out of a nearby snowbank in a burst of snow and stumbled in their direction. If Twilight had not recognized the device he held as a tape recorder, things could have gotten extremely uncomfortable, but she merely watched in amusement as he stumbled up to Green Grass, shoved the microphone under his nose, and blurted out through chattering teeth “Haare you zlleephing with Vrrincesss Seelestia’s dottoher?”
“Another reporter?” Green Grass shot an annoyed look at Twilight Sparkle, who was simply glowing with happiness. “What’s this make, four tonight?”
“Five.” A violet glow surrounded the shivering stallion, and the snow began to steam off his coat. In moments, he had quit shivering and even looked a little flushed with bright red cheeks. A small newspaper floated in a magical grip over to Green Grass, who tucked it inside the reporter’s toasty-warm jacket and gave it a pat.
“There you go. One exclusive interview with what I consider the most important newspaper in Equestria. I think you will find all your questions answered quite well. Sun Glimmer was extremely detailed and did an excellent job on my interview, if I do say so myself⁽²⁾. Thank you very much, and please remember to take a deep breath.”
(2) Somepony else must have thought so also. She received two offers of full-ride scholarships when various newspapers ran reprints of her article, and one college offered her a transfer. Her father turned them down, explaining that she probably should finish elementary school first.
—
Magic swirled around the reporter, and with a sharp ‘pop,’ he vanished.
* * *
“Yaa
aah
hhhh
hhhh!”
The soft ‘plop’ of Blotter’s impact in the snow echoed around the castle guard annex, drawing the attention of two ponies. The off-duty Royal Guard⁽³⁾ turned slightly to watch the reporter come crawling out of the giant sculpted pile of snow marked with concentric circles, then carefully checked and logged the time, as well as the impact point. “Two-fifty-seven A.M. The first one just shy of the 8 ring; she must be getting tired.” He carefully examined the betting pool book and made another notation. “Two o’clock pool goes to Captain Shining Armor. Again.”
(3) The actual entrance had been bricked up internally during renovations three centuries earlier, but the respective changes in the duty schedule for outside guards was still working its way through committee. It made for a relaxing duty position, but sometimes the on-duty guard liked to have somepony to talk with.
—
“I still think we should exclude him from the pool,” groused the on-duty guard next to him.
* * *
Green Grass fell in step with Twilight again as they strolled down the path to her home. As it turned out, sneaking into the house was a lost cause, as Rainbow Dash greeted them at the door with a giant bowl of popcorn and a devious grin. “Hey Twilight, I’m glad you made it home. Hi Greenie, Night Light is about ready to start the home movies, so grab some popcorn and settle in.
“Home movies?” asked Twilight with a twitch. “I’d love to, but I need to see Green Grass home. He wouldn’t want to stick around for some boring home—”
“I’d be delighted,” said Green Grass with a bow and a smirk, dragging the star of the show behind him to the den where the projector had been set up.
The Twinkle household had a long family tradition of staying up all night during Hearth’s Warming, or at least as long as the children were able. Despite some interesting footage of Twilight Sparkle and Shining Armor’s early years involving solid food and bathtimes, the long walk around town had seemingly drained the two young lovers of their energy. They slipped out of the home movies around the first day of school⁽⁴⁾ and vanished behind a closed door into a familiar small bedroom that felt much smaller than she remembered with the two of them inside. An infectious giggle rose in Twilight Sparkle’s chest and leaked out all over her companion as she got a good look at her carefully made up bed, with two pillows instead of one, and a special surprise on top.
(4) Coincidentally missing the section of ‘Twilight Sparkle: The Documentary’ where the young filly had been caught bribing her brother into helping bring back twice her own body weight in books from the school library on her first day in school.
—
“Look at what mom left on our pillow.”
Green Grass blushed fiercely, and tried not to look. “There’s a whole box of them. What does she think we’re going to be doing all night?”
“Oh, I don’t know.” Twilight leaned up against his neck and batted her eyelashes. “I think we could make a good start on them tonight, and finish them up tomorrow. Think of it as a reward for your good behavior.”
Green Grass tried to blush more, lowering his head and mumbling, “Your father already slipped me a box tonight, when your mother wasn’t watching.”
“Ooo, what flavor?” Twilight craned her neck to look at the small package the stallion was trying to hide behind his back.
“I didn’t check. I was too embarrassed.” He shuffled around and peeked inside the box with a sigh. “Cherry.”
“Yes! My favorite! Trade?” Twilight draped herself across his back and leaned over to nuzzle him on one ear. “Pweeeeeze?”
“Well, I suppose, since you asked nice— Hey, those are cherry too. What if I don’t like cherry?”
“I’ll take ‘em!” Twilight popped a sugary chocolate into her mouth with a groan of orgasmatic pleasure. “Mmmmmm.”
“Hey! I didn’t say you could have my cherry!” There was a thump outside the door as if an older pony walking past stumbled, and Green Grass quickly added, “It’s a candy! Honest!” The sound of receding giggling in the hallway died out as the stallion collapsed onto the bed with a heavy sigh.
“Depressed?” Twilight Sparkle cuddled down tightly next to him as not to fall out of the narrow bed and popped a matching chocolate into his open mouth.
“No. Yes. Most definitely not.” He opened his mouth and accepted being fed another chocolate. “I’ve got so many emotions smashing around inside of me I think I’m about ready to pop. So many things left unsaid and undone.”
Twilight wriggled around delightfully while pulling up the covers, tucking in under one male foreleg as if she were sculpted to fit. “Well, I can think of one thing I’ve been waiting to do forever, and since it sounds like you can’t sleep, tonight’s the night!”
* * *
Later that evening, or more correctly, early in the morning, in bed.
“I can’t believe we put this off for so long.”
Green Grass chuckled in a distracted fashion while trying to concentrate on his activity. “Self-control. Very important. Makes this so much better with you.”
Twilight Sparkle harrumphed. “Well, I’m sorry for pushing so hard. You were right. It is better since we waited. Now hurry up.”
“Hey, you’re getting ahead of me!”
“Well, yes. A little.”
“Take your time and treasure the moment.” He jumped as she lightly bit down on his ear.
“I know. I’m impatient. Hurry up, or I start tickling. I know where all your ticklish spots are.”
“Unfair! That’s incentive for me to slow down.”
“You want to get to the end just as much as I do.” Twilight bit lightly and breathed down his ear. “Now turn the page, or I’ll make you yell so loud, all my friends will hear.”
With a sigh of regret, Green Grass turned the last page of Don Rocinante. “It always makes me a little sad to finish a book.”
Twilight leaned back with a sigh. “It makes me happy. Once you’re done, you get to start another one.”
“And another, and another, and—” Green Grass broke off when Twilight blew a puff of air into one sensitive ear and grinned as he squirmed to scratch the resulting itch.
“Hold on for a moment, lovercolt. I’ve got something else I want you to read.” Twilight crawled out of the covers, leaning over the edge of the bed and rummaging around in her bags on the floor. Green Grass weighed the relative downside of being caught watching her rump when she eventually did finally turn around versus the upside of actually watching her rump. The decision was easy, and he watched the interesting wiggles and twitches until she emerged with the paper she was looking for.
“Found it! I had it in the bottom of my bag so it wouldn’t get lost⁽⁵⁾.”
(5) Or read by anypony else.
—
She turned around, to Green Grass’ momentary regret at the loss of scenery, made up for by a much better view of the beautiful unicorn. Not looking away from his gaze for a moment, she gave him a piece of carefully folded paper that looked strangely familiar. He unfolded it, blushing nearly crimson as he recognized the ‘Permission Request’ from his memorable first night in the library bedroom. It smelled ever so faintly of smoke and was lightly speckled with dark spots as if the reader had a mouthful of tea when the letter was first read.
Then he read the addition at the bottom, written in an extremely tidy and royal form.
My dearest student,
As much as you may wish to seek understanding by analyzing and examining the ways of love, you will find them as great a mystery as anything I have ever seen in my long life.
Where logic fails, always trust your heart. In the end, what the heart truly desires can be brought to fruition no matter the obstacles that stand in its way.
In this regard, I trust you both to make a decision together that is the best for the two of you.
Princess Celestia
P.S. Don’t let him get away. The position of Royal Consort (Day or Night shift) is still open.
Green Grass looked up to see Twilight smiling so broadly it seemed as if she were glowing. “Does this mean—“ he started before Twilight Sparkle placed a hoof on his lips.
“Shh. I’m treasuring the moment,” she said, before turning out the light.
I am picturing Celestia reading the permission slip and the guards mistaking the sounds she makes for an assassination attempt.
2052666 Updated the footnotes to accommodate the corrected experiment, with documentation.
2051781 At least Shining Armor has his armor (duh) and a city-wide shield spell to protect him. All GG has is his wits. (and he's at the end there)
2055499 Only to The Look? The best is yet to come
Ouch, Luna that is just evil. I love all the inuendos you keep putting in. I love this fic!
Still laughing at this chapter, another job well done. And I see it is in the Featured block again (though at the very bottom). Still, congrats are in order, so I will let Fluttershy say it best:
I'd have spit out my tea too if I had been sent that permission slip!
The humor you put in this story leaves me breaking out in fits of giggles and guffaws with every chapter! Well done, Georg! Well done!
so im guessing by the end of this story the sexual activity implications jokes will be in the hundreds.
The punishment scene leaves a bit of a bad aftertaste...
Royal Guards have pools on everything, don't they?I wonder if there's a betting pool about hoof up/hoof down arrivals?
Makes me wonder if the Royal Therapist treats gambling problems more often than PTSD.
"Hah, I knew I had a gambling problem. Corporal Breaker owes me 15 bits."
Lots of fun : )
Your missing a foot note tag in the text for (1) though, or rather you've got (2) twice : )
You're remarkably good at providing red herrings that give us dirty-minded old bronies mental images that turn out to be completely misleading. You know that, don't you? As it is, this chapter was sweet in places, funny in others and at the beginning? At the beginning it reminds us why it is so very, very stupid to try to date-rape a mare who is the personal apprentice of the Goddess of the Day and the best friend of the Goddess of the Night. You'll be begging for death before the end.
I suppose, when you're one of the Royal Guard, with the number of high-powered magical users around, you get used to weird stuff happening day and night.
That's terrible, Luna. Good work.
What a kind response to those reporters, and it's nice to see Sun Glimmer's interview get some more attention.
So much innuendo! Followed by the permission slip letter and a discreet fade to black.
2056311 Fixed and republished. Thanks! (my auto-footnoter puts them all in as 2, and I have to manually change them.)
2056949 Originally I had a gag where GG had won second place at the Chimmichanga Eating Contest in Ponyville's annual Fiesta Mexicolt, but it didn't fit anywhere. Thanks for reminding me, I went back and footnoted it.
2056627 A Lady does not brag about their private affairs. Nonetheless, Sweetie Belle will be complaining about loose feathers all over the house for *weeks*...
2056878 Shining Armor very much takes after his father. It was the only way to stay sane at home, and it is being put to good use in his upcoming marriage. He's the calm rock in the temptious storm of Alicornhood. Celestia and Luna are both grateful their neice found somepony like that, and a little jealous. If they're prepping Twilight for ascent to Alicorn status, can you blame them for 'poking' GG a bit to make sure he's not a Euripides in disguise?
2057084 And she has so many flavors! There's chocolate, and strawberry, and apple, and....
Wow, felt bad for Lord Euripides for about two seconds.
In reference to the punishment. I think it is highly appropriate. He gets to spend the next twelve
hours or so living what he has apparently put several young mares through. When he wakes up it was
only a dream ( nightmare), that's what you get for messing with the mistress of the nights friends.
Lunar justice, bureaucracy inaction, and nerd spooning (and possible forking.) A most enjoyable chapter.
That was literally mind rape.
I must after having finally finished the latest chapter I have to say, it's a wonderful story you keep a nice pace with it and balance the humor and the more serious moments fairly well all thou more than once I wanted to give Grass or twilight a smack up the head and tell them to smarten up at least in some of the early chapters. One last thing I want to add is that all through out the story I got a very... Terry Pratchett feel for the way you write and all the little notations you make I think they would be called, but suffice to say I eagerly look forward to the next chapter.
A-ha! I knew she would pop his cherry
...flavored treat in her mouth. (No, wait, that sounds even worse somehow...)
2057319
I'm guessing the one flavor not included would be vanilla?
This story is great in so many ways. (*)
(*) One of them being that the little humorous footnotes remind me of a certain Sir Terence.
2056652 I have to agree with this one, this is not something that Celestia wouldn't never to do to one of her little pony, even though if he was distasteful.
2057319 ^
2069008 Good thing it wasn't Celestia doing it then, right?
2069090 I must misread it then.
yeah it was Celestia?
2069126 Nope it wasn't, but what I actually meant was that the punishment is something that shouldn't be used as a joke. (Or maybe it's just me being to cynical when you meant something far more innocent.)
2069126 in case you still haven't figured it out... he never turned into a mare. It was a dream... a dream created by Luna. Celestia had nothing to do with it.
2056652 What's the matter with giving someone a terrifying dream?
Note on Chapter 33 and 35: The "Euripides" scenes have been significantly toned down, because frankly they were over the top.
2057545 Because, as all of society knows, the greatest and most advanced form of morality and justice is "an eye for an eye".
Best quote so far!
They knew he would stop by. It is only natural. But by the time you talked about flavours in the boxes, I knew they weren't condoms. I mean, some have flavours, but no one actually cared. XD
3061352 This has been toned down since first publish? The whole idea is still basically dropping the horror of a probable rape scene (and calling up shades of past ones) into a romantic comedy. Having read through the story from start to finish this week, this act came on as hugely disturbing and jarring, and very dark . I understand that Twilight's intimated that her early experiences weren't pleasant, but this particular kind of thing should have been introduced early on, if at all. I'm not suggesting that I would have you change anything, but I'm honestly still wondering why you brought this into the story. It doesn't fit the tone of it (at least for me).
Aside from that, I've really enjoyed this story. It's been a lot of fun and a much-needed distraction. Luna's part reminds me of a very similar scene in a Jack Chalker Well of Souls novel.
5797718 Yes I tuned it down a few notches, and I'm keeping it as is. There's a purpose in the events:
1) It shows how Twilight Sparkle is not just a shrinking violet, but is a strong mare who can fight her own fights in a way that does not wreck the party for the rest of the attendees, but yet hammers the idiot stallion right where it hurts. (He shows up again in Royal Exam, you just have to wait for it.)
2) It shows that you don't screw around with Luna's friends. Just because she's not Nightmare Moon any more, doesn't mean she can't be a little dark, and that she prefers for the punishment to match the crime in a way that the criminal learns from the experience.
3) It shows just what Green Grass is in for.
(And I loved the Well of Souls series)
5797808
That jerk pony is going to show up in Royal Exam? Oh man, THAT will be a scene...
I thought the sex-change scene was real. I do like what you did though.
Does it bother anybody that I wouldn't have batted an eye if Celestia had really done something like that?
Cause if it does; tough. I can't stand those who take advantage of either mares or women; gives the rest of us males a bad name.
Remember kids- always turn out the light before... err... consumating your love. That way the author has a convenient opportunity to shift perspectives.
Nearly four months and they finally finish that dang book!
I do believe this is the longest it has ever taken Twilight Sparkle to finish a single book.
*Looks at comments from 2015*
*blinks repeatedly*
Mister author could you please explain to me what I am currently reading about. What is this “sex change” they speak of?
Disagree with "toning things down"
There's too much sensitivity on this site and its disgusting.