• Member Since 1st Nov, 2012
  • offline last seen 28 minutes ago

Admiral Biscuit


The hard life pegasus among stupid bipedal cornstalk

Sequels1



T
Source

After an argument with Luna, Celestia realizes that she is the only creature in Equestria who cannot sleep in. She enlists Twilight to help, and the two of them come up with a spell that will allow her to spend the night on a different world. Unfortunately, all their research failed to reveal that the world they sought was populated. Now, the Princess must decide whether to continue with contact, or destroy the only non-Equestrian witness to their existence.

Cover art is called "Sleeping Celestia" by Briskby

Chapters (15)
Comments ( 1204 )

I've never done anything like this, but... I can't... I just can't resist... I need to say...
FIRST! :fluttershyouch:

1947265 whats so great about being the first to comment? also prepare for your comment to be thumb's downed alot :trollestia:

on another note Trixies mother is in it!!!!!????

1947520
I am assuming that Trixie's real name is Beatrix.
That having been said, her mother is actually going to be mentioned in the next chapter.

Well if you want an illusionist, ask for Trixie.
I can see fun times ahead, i love Trixie!:trollestia:

I feel like this is taking a while to get to the part in the summary.

oh my celestia...

My god this is... is... so long, but so good. Almost like syrup on pancakes

I love the premise for this story. This is a bit of a different take on Celestia being overworked and underpaid, which is quite good. There would be a lot of things to set up in the event of her taking a vacation. The idea of her hopping to another world just to sleep in one morning is... adorable.

The main problem I see is that there is a lot happening, but everything is only covered briefly. Characters are mentioned and then dropped and things happen with no real lead in or follow up (Twilight suddenly being home without really wrapping up the Illusion classes, and then getting recalled just for Celestia to teleport away). The background details are there to flesh out the world, but they aren't covered enough to really sell themselves.

Hmmm, I understand Celestia is an overpowered being in her world, but would that really work in our world? (being without magic and everything)

“If a suitable planet were found, yes.” Princess Celestia looked thoughtful. “My thoughts did wander in that direction. Starswirl the Bearded came up with a way to hold a teleport spell open, so that it acts more like a channel than a point-to-point spell, and he designed it with a safeguard so that when the field collapses, it returns the caster, and anypony who is marked with the caster, to their point of origin.” She sighed. “I used a slightly modified version of the spell myself, once, a long time ago, and it worked well enough.”

“Can it stack with other spells? Could a force-bubble be added to it?”

...Am I detecting a Conversion Burea reference?

1985895

If there is a conversion bureau reference, it's not intentional. I haven't read any conversion bureau stories.

1985578

I asked myself the same question, which is part of why I decided it should be a tunnel, thus allowing the convenient explanation that the magical forces are travelling through that tunnel.

1985915
Well, depending on how 'scientific', (lol, magic + science) your story is, Celestia could only go so far from the tunnel before the magic on earth reaches its limits and needs time to spread more. Since the magic is spreading in all directions, and the size of the tunnel, I imagine that it would spread very slowly... Also, I'm asking whether Celestia is overpowered on earth due to your story's description implying that Celestia... destroys earth? or something of the sort...

1985915 Wouldn't that mean the tunnel would have to be constantly open for continued magic? If so it seems that may be slightly difficult to do without focusing on it. Though I suppose Celestia is powerful enough to not worry about that kind of thing? However it could pose problems for regular unicorns using the same method. How large does this tunnel need to be for a substantial amount of magic to flow through and how much magic would you need to maintain it?

1986945

Well, that's conveniently unanswered, but I think of it like the wings that Twilight gave Rarity. It took her a lot of energy to cast, but once the spell took effect, it continued indefinitely (or at least, could have). Thus, it'd take a big expenditure to cast, but it'd stay open until dispelled or acted upon by other means. Maybe not the best explanation, but it fits with canon, sort of.

1986592

I considered the possibility that magic would work everywhere (the ponies are manipulating the elements on a quantum level, by a process unknown), to only working close to the portal (there's a rare element like unobtanium in the atmosphere that allows magic), to not working at all once out of the portal (the physical elements on earth simply cannot be manipulated with magic, because they have stronger electromagnetic bonds than on Eq uestria). I'm not a physicist or magician, so if I tried to make an in-depth exploration of the magic, I'd eventually sound like an idiot. I am trying to work in rules for magic that fit in with the canon of the show. I could go more in depth on my choices and why I made them, but that would be a major spoiler.
Regarding Celestia being overpowered for Earth, I'd say yes, she is. I doubt that we have enough nukes on the planet to move the moon more than a couple of inches out of orbit, and she can sling around a sun. Even Twilight can reverse gravity. Realistically, if I give the ponies unfettered access to magic on Earth, they can probably have humanity eating out of their hooves in fairly short order. Not that I'm implying that's where I'm going (or am I?), but I could see that as a possible outcome.

1986978 Indeed it does. I never even considered that.:facehoof:

1987036
Well, if I may as to provide a suggestion, instead of her 'slinging' around the sun, have the sun be an entity of its own. Also, how long can Celestia hold up a shield? Launch a nuke at it and all she can do is try and keep it up. She drops it, radiation kills her at a subatomic level.

1988809
That's a possibility. Realistically, I don't know how eager our government would be to nuke its own territory, and it might be too late by the time the order is given. What if magic is powered by gamma rays, and instead of killing her, it makes her even more powerful? I read a sci-fi short once where that was the case--the alien fed off energy, and the more the humans tried to hurt it, the stronger and bigger it got.

1994039
Lol, that's impossible, gamma radiation deteriorates everything on a sub atomic level, including lead, which over a period of time will also deteriorate. If magic was powered by gamma radiation no organic life in Pony Land couldn't exist.

1994111
I'm not gonna debate that, since I don't know enough about chemistry or physics to come up with a rebuttal. However, it has struck me (and I'm sure I'm not the only one) that while it is generally assumed by the fandom that pegasi can fly because magic, what if the atmosphere were denser (I'm also not an aeronautical engineer)? And while that isn't a rebuttal, might it be possible that Equestria is made up of something that makes the physical and chemical laws that we are used to behave differently? There was an Asimov short where a murderer accidentally set up a wrong chemical reaction because he forgot he was on earth, and that's how they figured out who did it. Of course, if Ponies were composed of, let's say, antimatter, my story would have a very quick, spectacular, and unsatisfying ending....

This is also not a rebuttal. The explanation I like to go with: (depending on the setting) If pony world is a whole 'nother universe, 'magic' is a particle that exists everywhere, and that the creatures have learned to use it to there advantage subconsciously. If ponies live in a world where humanity is extinct, I say that the whole universe has evolved to include said particles. Those particles can be used to manipulate the world around them. They can track neurons in the brain (mind reading), move other atoms instantaneously to another location (teleportation), and simple ol-telekinesis. Also, this was a pretty chill conversation, you're a great person to converse with.

1994236

Thanks! I figure there's no need to get one's underwear in a bunch over what is a kid's show. I think it's interesting to speculate on how the magic works, and what physical laws (if any) apply, and how. I think that's a fascinating branch of HiE fics, as is the social aspect. While I'm using one set of rules in my current work, I might explore a different idea in the next. Maybe the ponies can teach magic to the humans, for example. Or maybe the humans can teach technology to the ponies. A lot of possibilities.
In chapter 2 (currently in editing mode), there are some unexpected effects of magic on earth. Wait and see!
I'm planning on more magic side-effects, and more of the nature of the spells, as the story continues. While I have set, in my head, the rules for this particular story, there's no telling what I might do for the next.
I seem to remember in Memoirs of a Reality Jumper, the main character is having an unfortunate side effect due to exposure to magic (I think it's building up in his body, and he can't get rid of it because he doesn't have a starswirl gland); and in one of the Mode books by Piers Anthony, they discovered that Burgess was dying because he wasn't getting enough of a particular airborne element.
Minor changes in atmosphere, background radiation, magical fields, electromagnetic fields, and anything else could affect humans or ponies, and could be an interesting plot device in a story.

1948210

Yeah, it's gonna take another couple of weeks, but that's kind of the first climax of the story. Can't rush the exposition. Also, there's a bunch of foreshadowing tucked in there.
:twilightsheepish: I knew that English Minor was good for something.

Well. This certantly made my evening. I hadn't expected something so complex for a story with this kind of premise. Keep up the good work!

2011894

Thank you! The story was originally conceived as a 3400 word one-shot, and then the ideas (what if's, mostly) just kept coming, and, well.... It's been a long time since I've written any one thing over 10k words, so it's gonna be a fun trip for all of us!

2027035
Well, you have my full support. Just hit me up with a message if you need an editor or anything. otherwise, keep up the good work! :pinkiehappy:

wow. that was pulled off perfectly. im very impressed!

2039116

Thank you! Already working on the next chapter.

2039144

My goal is to update every two weeks. So far, I've beat that with each chapter, but I can't guarantee I can continue that pace. I work 49 hours a week at one job, 10 to 20 at another (I fill in as needed), have technical training classes several nights a month, and am in two theatre groups.

2039165
sounds like a lot of work. what do you do with the theatre groups?

2039213

One's a typical small-town theater, although I did get to play a role in a film for some indie film festival in Detroit, the other is a stunt troupe. We've performed at Renaissance festivals, pirate festivals, tall ship events, haunted houses, done stunts for a few movies, and even participated in live fire exercises with a local police department (facing down 4 cops with assault rifles is really intense, let me tell you).

2039242
My, you certantly get around. I'm impressed. what movies did you work in?

2039248

Stunt team for Answer This! and Naked Angel, and the father in the indie film--which I think is called Nobody, but that may have just been the working title.

The thing about First Contact is that it will be the single most horrifying moment in Human history. Interesting choice in choosing an older person as the human character.

2039273

which I think is called Nobody

how deliciously ironic. XD
i will have to check those out, which one would you recommend the most?

2039300

Yes, it would be, but I think the human mind could react to it, if given time to contemplate. I shudder to think of what would happen if aliens were to descend guns blazing (lasers lazing?), though. There was a sci-fi short story about first contact (in fact I think it was called First Contact) that I read a while back that was a partial inspiration to this work. I also was involved in much discussion with friends and family for a month hammering out ideas for this story.

2039311

:pinkiehappy: I honestly couldn't say. I don't know if the editing on the indie film is even done yet; I've only seen a rough cut. As for the other two, I've not watched either--I spent one full day on the banks of the Huron River working on a rope swing stunt for Analyze This!, and have only seen stills of the rig for the bridge scene for Naked Angel--I was doing very behind-the-scenes grunt work for that one, like loading scaffolding.
A little research on IMDB gives Naked Angel a higher rating, so maybe that one?

2039363
fun stuff, huh? well, if it ever does come out, could you send it my way?

oh, and you said you read Asmianov, right?

2039388

Some Asimov, like I, Robot, and his mysteries, and any number of short stories.

2039423
I have this big book full of a bunch of his short stories. your wilderness scene reminded me of this one where some guys on a camping trip met giant amoebas and learned that they actually devolved from them. it was pretty trippy, have you read it?

2039441

No, I think i missed that one. I did read a short story (I don't think it was by Asimov) about a giant slug that got bigger whenever it was hit by energy weapons, although I don't remember the title. I can't remember how they got rid of the slug, either.

2039480
Hmmm... He wrote very interesting stories, i can say that. I havent read the giant slug one, but i will have to check it out.

in the forward to the book, he mentioned a few of his favorites. i think he said that Sally showed the reasons that he dislikes cars, assuming i got the name right. He also likes the one about the caveman child. that was pretty good.

2039501

I'm not familiar with those. I read a lot more fantasy than science fiction, to be honest, as well as psychology as neurology and whatever else I can get my hands on. I've slowed down a bit, since I started writing again.

2039346 In all possibility I do not think they would rain hell fire down upon us. But than again, who knows how they would react. Everything that has been written about our contact with Extraterrestrials has been written by us. They do not have play by the rules we've laid down. That's why I shudder when I think about what would happen if we encounter the "God" tier aliens.

2039555
well, i would recommend looking up that collection if you have the chance. its called Issac Asmianov: the complete collection. I have the first volume, so thats where i get most of my stuff from.

which isnt to say that i dont read fantasy either. what would you recommend for that?

2039562

I think a lot of it would depend on the manner of contact. In the story I alluded to, Humans and Aliens meet accidentally at a star they're both investigating, so it's kind of a meeting of equals. Neither side knows where the other comes from, nor much about their culture or technology, except that both cultures have spaceships capable of deep space flight.
In the historical Earth record, most simpler societies meeting advanced societies came to a bad end (I'm thinking of Europeans meeting Native Americans for the first time), which is certainly a plausible outcome. It could even be accidental on the part of the aliens (disease, perhaps?), or it could work the other way (The War of the Worlds). There's also the possibility that the alien culture could have different requirements than us, and so have no desire for our planet or resources--maybe nitrogen is poison to them, or the Earth's gravity is too heavy), in which case a peaceful exchange of ideas seems like a greater possibility. Obviously, speculation can go as far as the author wants to take it.
For me, one of the most pleasurable parts of this story is writing from both the pony perspective and the human. What assumptions does one species make about the other? I'm fairly new to fanfiction, but after reading some masterful works (Arrow 18 was influential), and some introspection, I figured I'd give it a shot. It's actually not dissimilar from the high fantasy I usually write...

2039584
Well, a lot of that depends on one's tastes, I'd say. Obviously, the Lord of the Rings and the Hobbit, The Chronicles of Narnia. The Deed of Paksinarrian by Elizabeth Moon is really good, The High Crusade by Poul Anderson is a sci-fi/medieval crossover, and back in print, so it's not too hard to find a copy. The Harry Potter books aren't bad, either. I also like the "Protector of the Small" quartet by Tamora Pierce, as well as her Bekka Cooper books. They're targeted towards adolescent girls, with female protagonists, but hey, we're watching My Little Pony, so clearly we're above so-called target demographics. Piers Anthony's Xanth series is a good light read, unless you hate bad puns. The stories all seem pretty much the same after a while, too. I liked the Mode series by Anthony a lot better.
I seem to remember the Dragonlance books were pretty good, but it's been over 20 years since I read them, so I don't know if that recommendation would still hold. One could probably justify putting "Timeline" by Michael Chricton in the medieval fantasy category, although it's more historically accurate.
Also, Battlefield Earth by L. Ron Hubbard is a pretty good sci-fi book. It's about a billion pages long. The movie was terrible.
You can't go wrong with Watership Down, either. If you haven't read it, you should. It's about bunnies.

Login or register to comment