They take… really long bubble baths.

An indirect sequel to “My Little Staring Contest: Alicorns can stare for a very long time.”

As a stranger in a strange land, sometimes you need to get a different perspective to see how you might fit in. Jeremy gets his chance to see Equestria from the bottom up when he gets in trouble with the law. Ponies have such a happy, peaceful society that it's easy to forget that perfection doesn't exist, and there's always going to be misfits and the disenfranchised.

“It is said that no one truly knows a nation until one has been inside its jails. A nation should not be judged by how it treats its highest citizens, but its lowest ones.”
― Nelson Mandela

A terrible affliction has befallen the peaceful town of Ponyville, and the lavender unicorn and her friends are right in the middle of it! And the edges of it. Heck, it's pretty much lavender unicorns all over.

A story unrelated to anything.

After being marooned on an icy world in unexplored space, Lumina must now face the perils of this frozen wasteland and search for some way home. But in this dark place, she discovers something that was lost to pony kind ever since the fabled Equestria sank into the ocean over 10,000 years ago. Something that will change her, and possibly the entire galaxy, forever.

Not a cross over, and not an alternate universe. This is the far future, and this has happened before.
Cover art by CSImadmax

Now in the FimFiction Gold Archives!
Now on Equestria Daily!
Now featured in Fort-Book Reviews!

The Producers have long been the bane of the Top Gear team's existence, sending them off into the most dangerous and hilarious of situations in the name of good television. Now follow Captain Slow, Hamster and Jezza as they are sent off again into the unknown as some of the first humans to set foot (Or wheel) into the land of Equestria.

Oh, and the Government isn't exactly on board with this one either...

Teen for language and sexual references.

At 3:15 AM, Adams woke me with a loud knock on my front door.
"Put your boots on," he said when I answered. "There's a biblical monster in my house."

* * *

A Visual Companion, by the author
Interview with the author, from the Royal Canterlot Library.
Audiobook by Robin Jacks and Wubcake.
Audiobook by Scribbler.
In-depth analysis by the Heroic Tales cast.
Literary Analysis by ScarletWeather.
Special thanks to GaryOak.
Reviews:
City of Doors
One Man's Pony Ramblings
PresentPerfect
Louder Yay
Between Lines
Bad Horse

Every pony that's ever met Prince Blueblood knows he's a spoiled rich idiot who doesn't give a damn about anything but himself. But what nopony realizes is that his behavior is an act to throw them off the trail. When the sun sets and darkness falls, Prince Blueblood reveals his true identity as the protector of the night and defender of the innocent.

He's the goddamn Batmane

Cover image courtesy of Tiki Snakes from giantitp.com/forum

Tall Tales didn't intend to be in Ponyville for long. It was supposed to be a brief stop on the way to the storytellers' gathering in Connemara, and nothing more. How was he to know he'd be offered the opportunity to show southerners real storytelling? More to the point, how was he supposed to refuse? And just what does this pink pony want with him, anyway?
Now he's shanghaied himself into performing, and must use all his skill to stay on stage, on target, and within the bounds of sanity. So gather round, pull up a bollard, and listen to some proper Equestrian folk tales.
Or watch one stallion go slowly mad in public. Either way, you're in for a treat.

Twilight reads about a way to view a pony's soul, to see everything about them laid bare. When she tries it on her friends, will she be able to look at them the same way again? Or will the secrets hidden in their hearts drive her away?

(Yes, I borrowed the idea of a "soulgaze" from The Dresden Files, because it's something that really fascinates me. It's not a crossover, just an idea.)

Now has a sequel!

Rainbow Dash finds herself in the middle of an epic clash as Michael Jordan leads the forces of good in an attempt to stop Cobra Commander and his Evil League of Evil from destroying Equestria. Will Godzilla beat Voltron? Can the Care Bears out-stare the Decepticons? Is Ponyville about to get clobbered by King Kong?

Mere mortal words cannot describe this titanic struggle. Just what IS going on?