The Caretaker
The Soul of a Pony
Chapter 6: The Caretaker
Rarity knew how to be fashionably late. When the situation called for it, she knew exactly how long to delay to give the desired impression. Arriving too early would make her appear impatient. Too late, and it would seem that she had simply forgotten. The timing also depended on Rarity's and her host's relative social standing. The more important the host, the earlier she would arrive, so as to give the proper respect. Then, when the proper time came and she finally did arrive, she knew exactly what to say to cement her reputation. It was an art, one that Rarity had perfected over a lifetime of aspiring to a life of high society.
When it came to the spa, it was all forgotten. Rarity valued her friendship with Fluttershy far too much to let some stuffy pretensions deprive her of even a minute with the pegasus. She always made the effort to arrive several minutes early for their appointment, just so she and Fluttershy could spend more time together. Today was no exception, and by the time Fluttershy walked through the door of Ponyville Day Spa, Rarity was already there, reading through last week's issue of Ponies.
"Fluttershy!" Rarity exclaimed upon hearing the entrance bell. She closed her magazine and replaced it on the rack, before giving a warm smile to her best friend. "You're here!"
"Hello Rarity," Fluttershy greeted in return. "And hello Lotus," she said to the blue spa pony behind the counter. To Rarity, she asked, "How are you?"
Rarity's smile faltered briefly. "I've been better," she admitted.
"What's wrong? You're not hurt, are you?"
"No, no," Rarity said, reassuring the panicked pegasus. "Nothing like that. I just had a bit of an... unfortunate encounter with Twilight this morning."
"Is she...?" Fluttershy trailed off, leaving the thought unfinished. The implication was clear, however; both ponies knew about Twilight's occasional bouts of neuroticism.
"I don't think so," Rarity answered. "It's a bit of a long story. Do you mind waiting to hear it until we've started? I could really do with some pampering."
"Of course."
With that, Rarity signaled to Lotus that they were ready to begin, and the three of them walked into the spa, and into Rarity's favorite part of the week.
Fluttershy considered her friend curiously. Rather than leaping straight into an explanation of what had happened with Twilight, Rarity had begun their spa session in silence. Normally, the fashionista never stopped talking during these visits, laying out everything that had happened since their last meeting, with Fluttershy needing only to provide a few choice words of input. This time, however, Rarity was uncharacteristically quiet. She said nothing in the sauna, nor during their massages. Even when Aloe was applying her mud mask, she wouldn't speak, and her mood continued to darken.
Finally, when Lotus began to file Rarity's horn, Fluttershy could bear the silence no longer. "Rarity?" she said quietly, her voice full of concern. "You haven't said a word this whole time. What's going on?"
Rarity started, as though she'd forgotten Fluttershy was there. "Hmm? Oh, right. Twilight." She fell silent again, a mix of expressions playing across her features.
"It's fine if you don't want to talk about it," Fluttershy began quickly, but Rarity shook her head.
"No, I want to talk about it. I need to talk about it." Rarity took a breath, composing herself, before launching into her story. It started out hesitantly, but as Rarity went on, the words began to flow more freely. She poured out her explanation, and with it the pain and anger that had been building up inside her since Twilight's visit. Fluttershy listened with rapt attention as her friend described the way Twilight had shown up at Carousel Boutique, her mane a mess, before Rarity had repaired it. Afterwards, Twilight had done something, apparently some sort of spell, that had utterly violated Rarity's privacy. "I haven't been able to stop thinking about it," Rarity finished. "It brought me completely out of the zone. I couldn't even finish my project!"
"Project?" Fluttershy asked, breaking her observant silence. Lotus's ministrations had finished during Rarity's story, and they were now relaxing in the mud baths.
"Just a little order I was working on," Rarity answered dismissively. "I wanted to have it finished before our appointment, but Twilight's little visit completely threw me." She sighed through her mud mask. "How could she do that, Fluttershy? Just look into my private thoughts?"
"I'm sure she didn't mean it like that," Fluttershy said.
"I know she didn't. She probably didn't mean anything by it. You know how she gets, so completely focused on her spells that she doesn't think things through." Rarity sank deeper into the mud. "So why am I so angry with her?"
Fluttershy had no answer for her, and both mares fell into another silence. The yellow pegasus's mind was racing with questions, the answers to which she couldn't find. Twilight's new spell seemed so terrifying. Fluttershy, timid as she was, couldn't begin to imagine allowing another pony to see her in such detail. She'd thought being a model had been bad enough, what with her every move thrust into the public eye, but at least then nopony had been able to know what she was thinking.
Why would it be so bad? a little voice in her mind asked. What don't you want them to see? She heard it often, the voice of courage and excitement, but her own insecurities and doubts always drowned it out. They came back in full force this time, crying out that other ponies would judge her and ridicule her, that once she let somepony see her like that, they'd never think of her the same way. They were old arguments, but force of habit had long ago made Fluttershy receptive to them. This time, however, that little voice wouldn't go away.
Twilight would never judge you like that, it argued. She's your friend, and she'd like you no matter what some little spell says. Fluttershy realized this, and she knew that it held the answer to Rarity's dilemma. How could she explain it, though?
"Um, Rarity?" she said at last. "Are you sure you're mad at Twilight?"
"What do you mean?" asked Rarity, taken aback. "Who else would I be mad at?"
Fluttershy shook her head. "I mean, maybe you're just scared."
"Scared?" Rarity considered that for a moment. "Of what?"
"That maybe Twilight saw something that would make her not like you anymore." Fluttershy realized what she'd just said, and let out a little peep, before hastily adding, "I mean, not that I think there's anything like that to—"
Rarity cut her off, saying, "I know, dear." Was that it? Was she worried that Twilight had seen something that Rarity herself was not proud of? "Maybe you're right," she conceded. "Maybe I am scared."
"You know Twilight wouldn't think any less of you, no matter what she saw."
"I know, but that doesn't change the way I feel."
"Rarity," Fluttershy began. The unicorn in question looked up, though her eyes were still covered by her cucumber slices. There was something in Fluttershy's voice, a rare note of confidence, that grabbed her attention. "If anypony knows about being scared, it's me. I know all the little doubts you're having right now. You don't have to listen to them. You're braver than that. Who cares what Twilight saw? She'll always be your friend, and no little spell will change that."
Rarity's eyes were beginning to tear up, and she was suddenly glad for the cucumber slices. "Thank you, Fluttershy," she said. "You're quite brave yourself, you know. Maybe more than you give yourself credit for." She straightened up, composing herself again. "Now, let's get cleaned up. We've been in this mud for far too long; it's beginning to stick."
"I'm back," Twilight announced, when she returned from her voyage into Applejack's mind. The soulgazes were getting easier, or else she was getting used to them; she hadn't collapsed or blacked out this time. The headache was still there, though.
"So?" asked Applejack. "How was it?"
"I'll tell you in a minute. It's not quite done yet." Right on cue, Twilight was hit with the sudden flash of understanding that always followed a soulgaze. In that moment, she understood Applejack; she could see what drove the farmpony, what she valued, and what she feared.
Applejack was a pony who believed in the past. Her history, her memories, and the stories she knew from her foalhood were her most prized possessions. Tradition mattered to her, because it brought her closer to those who had come before. Every place she'd been and each object she owned had a story, and Applejack took it upon herself to make sure those stories were not forgotten.
Applejack loved her family. They had raised her and reared her, and would always be at her side. She did everything she could to make their lives better, whether through giving sisterly advice or by taking on extra work. Over time, that attitude had come to encompass every pony she met. After all, her family was so big that it seemed she could find a cousin or aunt just about anywhere, so it made sense just to treat everypony like family from the start.
Fairness, honor, and honesty all mattered to Applejack. She wasn't afraid to say what she thought, and didn't bother to dress up her words or put on false appearances. This often made her appear blunt and unkind. To her, though, the truth was always preferable to a lie. While a lie might provide temporary peace of mind, Applejack knew that in the long run, the guilt would become crushing. She'd become so accustomed to telling the truth that it was unthinkable to her that anypony else would lie or cheat. So much so, in fact, that she took such behavior, like when Rainbow Dash had cheated during the Iron Pony competition, as a personal offense.
The one pony Applejack struggled to be honest with was herself. She was proud, though not without reason; she had, after all, brought her farm considerable success during the years she'd been working it, and her athletic achievements were undeniable. This pride made her stubborn, and made it hard for her to accept help or admit that she was wrong. When she finally did come around and admit her mistakes, though, it was all the more powerful.
The rush of knowledge ended as suddenly as it had begun, and Twilight shook her head, gathering her thoughts. "Okay," she said, "it's done."
"What'd ya see?" asked Applejack.
"It was pretty strange," Twilight began. "It looked a lot like Sweet Apple Acres, actually."
"Really? Rarity gets a fancy castle, and Ah'm stuck with this old place?" Despite her words, Applejack's expression made it clear that she wasn't actually disappointed. "Sorry," she said, noticing Twilight's flat glare. "Go on."
Twilight continued, unperturbed by the interruption. "Anyway, it was pretty much the same as it is here." She went on to describe the scenery, explaining the strange glowing spots and the way everything had seemed much younger. As she recounted her experience in Applejack's mind, Twilight kept a close look on the farmer's reactions. For the most part, she listened to Twilight's narration with polite attention, but kept her face neutral. When the tale came to the Apple family home, however, she leaned forward, hanging onto every word.
Twilight dutifully described the pictures on the walls, but when it came to the dinner, and especially the empty chairs, she suddenly hesitated. Whatever those seats represented, it was obviously important to Applejack, but Twilight had no idea what that was. It seemed that, while it was great at conveying deep, personal characteristics, the soulgaze did not handle specific details very well. It was a picture, not a schematic. Her doubt was not lost on Applejack.
"Twi?" she asked. "Something wrong?"
"It's just... I'm not really sure." Twilight tried again. "There was a dinner table, and you and your family were eating at it. You all looked younger, too."
"Okay," Applejack said, wondering what the issue was.
"You, Applebloom, Big Macintosh, and Granny Smith," Twilight said, insistently. "The four of you, eating dinner as a family."
Applejack said nothing. She had a sickening feeling she knew where this was going.
"That wasn't all, though. There were two empty chairs." There was a long, uncomfortable silence. Finally, Twilight spoke up again, her voice quiet. "Do you... do you want to talk about it?"
After a pause, Applejack answered, "If it's all the same to you, Ah'd rather not."
Twilight knew better than to pry. If Applejack had wanted to discuss it, she would have. "Alright," she said, and then silence fell again. Eventually, Twilight remembered that she had something else to do. "Hey, what time is it?"
"Ahh, I feel simply marvelous," Rarity sighed as she exited the spa. "That was exactly what I needed. Aloe and Lotus are truly miracle workers, don't you agree?"
"It was very nice," Fluttershy agreed.
"And thank you for... well, you know. For listening."
"Oh, it's no problem at all."
"I feel I owe Twilight an apology," Rarity said, mostly to herself. "I might have been a bit harsh with her." It was strange, she thought, how different things looked now than they had just an hour ago. Fluttershy's advice, coupled with her relaxing spa session, had put her in a much better mood, and her previous anger now seemed completely unjustified.
"Twilight?" Fluttershy's voice snapped Rarity back from her contemplation. She followed the pegasus's gaze, and saw that Twilight was indeed there, galloping towards them at a frightening pace. When she spotted Rarity and Fluttershy, the young scholar slowed down, a look of relief on her face.
"Rarity!" she called, breathless. "I'm glad I caught you. I really need to talk with you."
"Hello Twilight," Rarity replied coolly. "I have a few things to say to you as well."
"I know, and—" Twilight paused, seemingly just noticing the third party in their conversation. "Um," she fumbled, not sure whether to continue in front of Fluttershy. The shy mare did, in fact, know the situation, but Twilight didn't know that, and didn't want to risk Rarity's further ire by divulging private information. Sure, she'd told Applejack, but that had been different; she'd badly needed advice, and, more importantly, Rarity hadn't been standing right in front of her at the time.
Fortunately, Fluttershy came to her rescue. "Rarity? I'll, um, catch up with you later, okay? You too, Twilight. See you girls later." With that, the canary pegasus trotted off, leaving Rarity and Twilight alone in front of the spa.
As soon as Fluttershy was out of earshot, Twilight launched into her apology, only to find that Rarity had done exactly the same thing. They paused, before trying again, only to run into the same problem. After a few false starts, and much talking over each other, they finally agreed that Twilight would get to speak first.
"Rarity," she began, "I'm so sorry. I should have asked your permission before I tried to soulgaze you. It was a complete violation of your privacy, and I forced it on you against your will. I'm really, really sorry, and I don't know how, but I will make it up to you."
Rarity waved a hoof dismissively, saying, "Twilight, dear, there's no need for that at all. If anything, I'm the one who should be sorry. I overreacted, and I shouldn't have shouted at you as I did."
"No, you had every right to be mad," Twilight insisted. "I didn't take your feelings into account. It's my fault."
Rarity wasn't having any of it. "Your fault? You didn't do anything wrong." When Twilight looked as though she were about to argue, she conceded, "Alright, maybe you did. But that still doesn't justify the way I acted. You didn't mean any harm, and yet I raised my voice at you and kicked you out of my shop." She sighed, then said, "Perhaps the best thing to do is to admit that we were both in the wrong, resolve to learn from our mistakes, and move on. What do you say?"
Twilight smiled, the worry of the past few hours washing away. "I think I can live with that," she said, before wrapping her forelegs around Rarity in a heartfelt hug. "Thank you."
Rarity returned the hug somewhat awkwardly, taken by surprise as she was. Return it she did though, and when Twilight broke the embrace, the fashionista said, "You know, Fluttershy's the one you should really be thanking. She helped me realize what I'd... well, she helped me figure out a few things. She set me straight on this whole soulgaze business."
"Really?" Twilight asked, mildly surprised. She seemed to consider this for a moment, then said, "Maybe I will go thank her." She turned and started trotting in the direction of Fluttershy's cottage, calling out over her shoulder, "Bye Rarity!"
"Goodbye, Twilight!" the alabaster unicorn responded, before setting off for her own home, and the as-yet unfinished sundress that awaited her within. Now that her mind was no longer so muddled, she felt a renewed determination to complete her work. In more ways than one, that spa session had been exactly what Rarity needed.
Twilight caught up with Fluttershy on the short bridge in front of the pegasus's cottage. "Fluttershy," she panted, short of breath from running all the way from the spa. I was only talking to Rarity for a few minutes, she noted, desperately trying to get her breathing under control. How did she get so far ahead of me?
"Oh, hello Twilight," Fluttershy greeted cheerfully. "Did you and Rarity, um..." Her voice, hard to hear at the best of times, faded into nothing.
"Yes, yes, we're fine now." Deep breaths. In, out, in, out. Next time, don't forget to pace yourself. When she felt sufficiently able to speak again, Twilight said, "That's why I'm here, actually. She said that you helped her figure some things out. I wanted to thank you. Without you, she'd still be mad at me."
"Oh," Fluttershy said, surprised. "I don't know about that. I just couldn't stand to see her upset."
"Well whatever you said, it worked." There was a pause, as Twilight argued furiously with herself. Eventually, having apparently reached a conclusion, she said, "So, did she tell you what it was that made her so angry with me?"
"Yes, she did."
"About the soulgaze and everything?"
"Um, yes. Well, she said what you said to her about it afterwards, anyway."
Twilight took a deep breath. "DoyoumindifItryitonyou?"
Fluttershy squeaked and shrank in on herself a bit.
"Please?" Twilight asked. "If you don't want me to, I'll understand. It's just that I've already soulgazed all our other friends, and I really want to know what it would show about you."
Fluttershy wanted to say "no". She wanted to run away and hide, because she didn't want to let Twilight see her in such detail. Something stopped her, though. If she ran now, it would be admitting that she was scared of the soulgaze. Everything she'd just told Rarity would be meaningless, because Fluttershy herself didn't believe it. If she couldn't face this, she'd be letting Rarity down. If not for herself, she had to do this for her friend.
"Okay," she whispered quietly. Hearing her own agreement bolstered her confidence, and she said, "I'll do it."
Twilight felt her heart soar. With the last of the soulgazes, she could satisfy the burning curiosity that had been consuming her for what seemed like ages. Finally, she could put this whole mess behind her. "Thank you!" she exclaimed. "Okay, just hold still. This'll only take a minute."
Fluttershy's mind was a garden. No, Twilight decided, garden isn't the right word. It implied a sense of order, of willing cultivation and planning. This was far too chaotic, the flowers and plants scattered seemingly at random. Azaleas, daisies, hibiscus, and many more besides grew in huge patches of color, separated by waves of green grass. It was wild, natural, but all the more beautiful for it.
As Twilight watched, a trio of butterflies wheeled past, landing softly on a nearby bush. A rabbit darted out from its den, hopping across the meadow—for that was what Twilight had decided it was—in search of food. Birdsong filled the air, adding to the general chatter of the other animals to create a symphony of nature.
All this served only to make the tree seem more out of place. It stood alone in the center of the field, breaking the otherwise flat landscape. No flowers grew near it, and what little grass was there was brittle and dead. The tree's branches were old and gnarled, the bark blackened and charred. For all that, though, it still stood strong, bearing what seemed to have been a lifetime of abuse. A massive chain wrapped around its thick trunk, affixed to a slumbering dragon. The chain was heavy, its links well-made, but it seemed to Twilight that it would be woefully insufficient should the dragon ever wake.
Outside the field was a thick, dark forest. It seemed to go on endlessly, surrounding the peaceful little meadow on all sides. Under its leafy canopy, shadows loomed. They shifted and twisted, forming sinister figures and cackling faces. They pressed in on the bright meadow, but never actually left the cover their trees provided. Occasionally, one would detach itself from the rest to approach the sunshine and flowers, but they invariably turned back just shy of the border.
Other than Twilight, only one of the meadow's inhabitants seemed to pay the shadows any mind. Standing in the field, midway between the ring of trees and the chained beast, was Fluttershy. She looked older than normal, more tired. Her expression was grim as she stood alone, seeming to Twilight to be guarding something. Occasionally, she would cast a worried look at the darkness around her little world. When she saw one of the shadows moving closer, she froze, and only when it turned back at the last minute did she breathe a sigh of relief, glancing at the dragon behind her.
Twilight wasn't sure what Fluttershy feared more; that the shadows would break through and hurt her, or that the dragon would wake up and destroy them. This thought cast the entire scene in a darker light, completely at odds with the pegasus's outwardly cheerful, if shy, disposition. Twilight cast around desperately, searching for some spot of warmth to balance out the darkness. She found it, naturally, when Fluttershy smiled.
A rabbit had run up to the shy mare, a single flower between its teeth. It had tugged on her mane, offering its gift to her, and she had smiled. In that moment, all of Fluttershy's fears and doubts had disappeared from her face, replaced by pure, unbridled joy and thanks. Years seemed to fall away from the pegasus, stripped away by the warmth of her expression. It was such a simple thing, yet so beautiful that Twilight wanted to cry. She could bear no more; it was all too much. Twilight ended the spell.
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CHAPTER SIX!
ALL SHALL READ IT AND DESPAIR!
Just two chapters to go!
Woah. So far, I've noticed little details Twilight has missed when soul-gazing her friends. I wonder when Twilight will come to that realization and see that she was looking at all of her friends' crippling faults.
(edit)
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What else would you see in a persons soul? We are defined by our faults, they shape us and give us our deepest motivations. Our faults are the biggest thing that sets us apart from others. Though with that in mind it is somewhat unfair to call them faults. Imperfections is better, blemishes more accurate.
The point I am trying to make is that what you are calling faults are in actuality the deepest and most personal pieces of their individuality. Calling them faults implies that they should be corrected or that they are 'wrong.' Could you really bring yourself to label the most integral part of your personality as 'wrong.'
In Psychology we only seek to correct 'issues' that cause great stress or pain. We also let the client bring up the issue, and decide whether or not they want to correct it. The would would be a dull place full of clones in nobody had any faults, and even 'faults' that have been corrected leave marks on the personality.
Just food for thought.
I'm still waiting for the part where Twilight tells Rarity how soulgazing actually works.
I think I know who the dragon is: Fluttershy's angry side
.
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Exactly. She doesn't just take care of the animals on the outside.
She takes care of the one inside, too.
Keeping New Fluttershy all chained up, eh?
I do wounder what Spike's "soul-world" would look like.
Two quotes:
: I'd like to be a tree! :-)
:D-dragon-ness is recessive...
and
Now let's hope she sees who Spike really is so she can stop treating him like a child.
Impressive, very impressive.
I'm curious to see if Twilight can Soulgaze herself - it would be interesting. I'd also like to see her Soulgaze Spike, just for the fun of it.
soul gaze Celestia! Luna! PONYVILLE!
Very high quality writing, you're very skilled at painting settings with imagination.
Honestly though, while I love all the scenes writ, as a whole the work fails to capture anything new.
In The Dresden Files, the soul gaze as a literary device acts as exposition to both the reader and the participants. They are clearly reserved for important situations, like laying out the sympathetic side of the human antagonist, or to help show things as they really are by dispelling possibility of subterfuge.
By themselves, they contain no story. We already know these ponies better than we know anypony else, as well as the many alternate facets, alternate interpretations, and hidden dark pasts, the soul gaze shows us nothing we don't already know. The closest thing we have to a story is the issue with Twilight not getting consent for magic, which feels like the kind of thing that would have been hammered into her in a predominantly unicorn home city.
The concept would work perfectly as a solution to a problem and/or the setting of a mental conflict, such as Twilight entering the mind of an unresponsive filly who had been hit with a psionic blast or some other setting which had a conflict in the mental realm.
On the plus side, I now have a hilarious mental image of Twilight writing a BlackstonexDaringDo crossover fic.
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images.mylittlefacewhen.com/media/f/img/mlfw3048-AllMyBits.gif
I want to see Gummy's soul
1428497
But mind flayers are owned by the once sue-happy Wizards of the coast...
Who were bought by Hasbro... 
Darned plot bunnies, they're so evil.
For a moment there I thought you were going to have Fluttershy be the tree.
Fluttershy's soul has to be the darkest of all because she has her inner demons to battle.
1429573
Huh. You know, somehow that thought never even crossed my mind. In hindsight, there's probably something I could have done with that.
I wager 10 bits that before this fic is finished Twilight will let Rarity use soulgaze on her both as a way to make up for her earlier intrusion of her privacy as well as complete the circle (the rest of the six being subjected to it already). I don't think Twilight's curiosity will pass it up.
I'm actually wondering now what Twilight would see if she used it on me.
Enjoying this a lot, can't wait for moar!
I really hope you have Twilight use it on herself, or at least try. Somepony would need to suggest it to her of course, since she (mistakenly) thinks that a person knows themselves perfectly.
That's Fluttershy. She stares down any threat to the inhabitants of her meadow, but at the same time refuses to let the dragon chase the shadows off.
The Fluttershy soulgaze called this to mind.
Epicness has been achieved. Congratulations
Everyone's make scene! You put a lot of thought into this and I love how they all turned out.
Hmm, you know, Twilight's seen all of her friends' minds/souls. Perhaps she could develop a way to reverse the spell so they could see into hers?
Would be interesting to see what her mind is like. Probably a lot like a book repository.
Nice little story. I'm interested to see what's next.
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But this is inside Fluttershys mind, everything is Fluttershy. Therefor Fluttershy is the tree. The burnt, gnarled, beaten tree. Hmmm....
Another great chapter! I think this might be your best "inner world" yet, full of beauty, repressed anger and insecurity, and showing how even the shyest ponies have deep characters - even if they try to hide it. And the way that all her worries fade when she is interacting with the animals was beautifully handled.
The conflict resolution was also very well handled. Not unnecessary angst or drama, just two friends getting over an issue in a mature and reasonable way.
dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Fluttershy_umad.png
So, does this mean Rainbow Dash is the only one who doesn't know what Twilight actually did? I predict something between irritation and anger.
I love the way you write. It is amazing how you can be so descriptive when you want. I really enjoyed it, almost even made me feel like writting my own Fanfic :P
Heh, I'm really starting to like this chapter... when is the next chapter going to be appearing?
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Eventually. It probably won't be for a couple weeks, unfortunately; finals are coming up, and writing is going to be pretty far down on my priorities list. As of now, it's only about halfway done. I can promise, however, that when I do get this chapter finished, it's going to be great. If you stuck with the story this far, and enjoyed it, I don't think you'll be disappointed.
I'm enjoying this a lot. It's a great character study of the mane six. When's the next chapter coming out?
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Darned wizards of the western coast, can't they keep themselves out of everyone else's business? Even just for a day?
1428765 What mind? //dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Pinkie_loool.png
1428266 Praise Smooze!
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She'd like to be a tree.