At 3:15 AM, Adams woke me with a loud knock on my front door.
"Put your boots on," he said when I answered. "There's a biblical monster in my house."
* * *
A Visual Companion, by the author
Interview with the author, from the Royal Canterlot Library.
Audiobook by Robin Jacks and Wubcake.
Audiobook by Scribbler.
In-depth analysis by the Heroic Tales cast.
Literary Analysis by ScarletWeather.
Special thanks to GaryOak.
Reviews:
City of Doors
One Man's Pony Ramblings
PresentPerfect
Louder Yay
Between Lines
Bad Horse
Chapters (4)
This.
this is interesting.
... and you even pull in the mistranslations of that word.
Yes. Yes I LIKE this.
Well written and ver yinteresting, keep it up!
Superbly written and wonderfully described to the finer details without becoming technical. Fantastic :)
Oh my goodness, a new story from Horse Voice! Another with humans. And ponies on Earth. And pulling in the awkwardness of alternate magical universe and religion, and mistranslations of religious texts! And your characters seem so realized! And I love your even, slightly foreboding tone and economic use of word choice and descriptions. And I'm already invested and excited to see where this goes!
Agh, I wish I had something constructive to say, but all I can do is roll around and gush like a moron
I know how this story ends.
Yokels, Rednecks, Hicks, Zealots... Biblical? Gah, ain't you guys ever read any fantasy? Unicorns are pretty widely spread throughout many different mythologies. Pegasi too, but really... rather common knowledge I thought.
Ehh, you probably shouldn't look it up.
You know, I never knew there was any mention of unicorns in the bible.
Man, the King James Version had some weird translations.
If I might make a point on that, though, it doesn't mention unicorns as monsters. It just casually mentions them as if they were an everyday occurrence.
Like I said: weird
This is so awesome! Hope there's more soon!
As long as this doesn't make fun of christianity, or turn christians into the badguy, I'm in.
2200741 Who spoils stories before they've even been written? Gary bleeding Oak, That's who.
I'll read this as long as it doesn't get overly religious or discriminatory. I've never been a fan of human stories, but you pulled this one off, Horse Voice.
My good sir, I salute you for an opening both grand and aready filtered with overt controversy.
2201187
There are some other references mind you
"God brought them out of Egypt; he hath as it were the strength of an unicorn."—Numbers 23:22
"God brought him forth out of Egypt; he hath as it were the strength of an unicorn."—Numbers 24:8
"His glory is like the firstling of his bullock, and his horns are like the horns of unicorns: with them he shall push the people together to the ends of the earth."—Deuteronomy 33:17
"Will the unicorn be willing to serve thee, or abide by thy crib? Canst thou bind the unicorn with his band in the furrow? or will he harrow the valleys after thee? Wilt thou trust him, because his strength is great? or wilt thou leave thy labour to him? Wilt thou believe him, that he will bring home thy seed, and gather it into thy barn?"—Job 39:9–12
"Save me from the lion's mouth; for thou hast heard me from the horns of unicorns."—Psalms 22:21
"He maketh them [the cedars of Lebanon] also to skip like a calf; Lebanon and Sirion like a young unicorn."—Psalms 29:6
"But my horn shalt thou exalt like the horn of the unicorn: I shall be anointed with fresh oil."—Psalms 92:10
However, this is the king james edition, not the standard american edition
YES, thank you for someone who mentions the Re'em of lore. Well done sir *shakes hands*
I have no idea what this is... But you have my curiosity.
My knee-jerk reaction to the idea of a story combining ponies, humans, and religion was to grimace and move along. But the image pulled me in to read the comments, and the comments have convinced me to give this a shot. *dives in*
An interesting premise, but I'm pretty put off by the combination of heavy religious overtones and the dark tag, along with the xenophobic, fundamentalist-looking human near by. I'm not sensing a happy ending at the moment.
Let me be frank:
I'm not here for the story, I'm here for the Coast Guard
Well, it's certainly well written, and it's more than an interesting premise. I'm glad you seem to be focusing on the human perspective here, it's probably the more interesting one, to me at least. Especially considering I never really understood religious perspectives, and you seem to be writing it well enough for me to, lol.
That [Dark] tag has me a bit worried, though... I hope this doesn't end up in Grimdark territory, religious influences always seem to make grimdark that much more grim.
Alright, second chapter consumed, and I'm hoping you stick with -... Huh. I don't remember Protagonist's name. I remember Adams'... was this guy's name never given?
Anyways, I hope you stick with Protagonist's perspective. I'm liking the guy.
I'm wondering if this is some MLP'less Alternate Earth, or if they're just so isolated as to be entirely unaware of the show.
Okay, finally got to read through it... And I'm really impressed. This is very well done.
What if the Elements were here on earth?
No matter how things go at least it will not end with horrible horrible clop ...
...
...
i hope ...
Yes, more Horse Voice! *favorites*
I don't like reading about humans when reading about ponies, yet I like this fic. Not bad. Your humans and Twilight are portrayed equally well.
This is actually very nice. I'm reminded of The Great Gatsby and other classic books I read in high school, where characters were introduced through a narration that was equal parts description and dialogue. There really is no way to describe how I feel about this.
The best way I can put it to words is that you use a balanced amount of purple prose...no! Wait! You narrate in third person limited! God, it's been a long time since I've read something like this! I feel like I should be writing a book report or something! 
I look forward to the adventures of Adams and...OH MY GOD! 
Keep it up.
I just realized why this story reminds me of the classics!
WE DON'T KNOW THE NARRATOR'S NAME!
And that's a good thing! This is third person limited, and as such the narrator is not speaking directly to the audience! His thoughts, therefore, would not include a detailed introduction of himself, or even the people he interacts with!
Adams' character is not built in a wall-of-text paragraph dump, but shown to the reader over the course of the chapter!
God, I want to write that book report now...
I feel like i should...
Yeah, I will.
*Takes a deep breath*
YOU MAGNIFICENT BASTARD!
Interesting, very interesting....
Okay, you've got me interested... I usually skip stories with a religious angle, but this one has drawn me in. It's well-written and shows a strong knowledge of scriptures; I also appreciate that the characters aren't cardboard cutouts like they could have been. I'm not sure this is going to end well, but I definitely want to see what you're going to do with this. Excellent and unique story so far!
I'm already scared of the religious nut; though, I have always been weary of people who believe strongly in a religion and follow its doctrine. Some of the stuff in those books (ok, maybe a lot) is pretty crazy and only works to limit the sight and tolerance of those who follow it.
Luckily Revelations makes no mention of purple horses.
I'm loving this. I like how you create a distinction between Christians that think differently. They may believe in the same God and book, but interpretations of it vary.
Oh yes, minor nitpick, but I really hate when stories don't double-space their lines between paragraphs. Not a real "Flaw," but to me it's kind of annoying.
2201873
And... why did this get downvoted?
Military ftw. -brofist-
2202164
I hate to be "that guy", but technically, this is first-person, not third-.
Well at least you haven't portrayed Adams as a fundamentalist lunatic yet. Just grouchy. It seems the only time people mention Christians in their stories anymore is when they want a "Religious villain." I hope you steer clear of that course. Being a Christian myself, the question "What would happen if Equestrians appeared" is one I sometimes ask myself when I'm bored. Anyway, the story itself is rather nice. Good grammar and knowledge of technical issues. Keep it up!
Having edited this, I must say the latter chapters are better than the first two, so it's worth the time to favourite.
2201500
Nah, I just helped edit it. Actually, my comments a few weeks ago actually caused him to rewrite a good chunk of the story, and just about double its length.
2202042
Well... let's just say there's a reason why the main character is unnamed for a good reason. That, and he did just meet his pony angel. In time, he will realize his true feelings for her, and she will reciprocate.
2202254
The bible is a book of stories meant to be interpreted in any way that you see fit to provide satisfaction and happiness to your life. It cannot and does not directly limit anyone's view of the world. Those who choose to interpret the bible in such a way that prevents them from being open to other possible meanings or explanations is a shortcoming of their own design. There are people who disagree with me, such as you, and say that it is only for people who 'live that life', for better or worse. At his core, Adams has chosen to believe many of the literal explanations the bible offers, but will still listen to a friend's pleas (even if they were a bit tricky in their construction), while our yet-unnamed protagonist is more free-flowing in his beliefs--it's not even clear if he's a Christian at all, but he obviously has some knowledge of the religion.
I am not religious, by the way.
one question what time period is this cuz i am getting mixed signals
2202458 I was kidding. Ever heard of the Gary Oak meme? ya know, the one about yourself?
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2202763
Yep. The "you can't ignore my girth" chat troll is why I chose this name a few years ago, actually.
I actually like Adams. He is cautious. And he actually read the Bible not being leming who only listen to church(blah). He simply don't want to assume the worst, trying to fit what is happening to knowlege he find in Bible, at least what and how HE understand this. I'm glad that both guys are just christians, you are not throwing any church in our face(yes definetly I'm christian but I really disgrace organised religions and theyr dogma's, everyone have free will and mind of his/her own, there is no need for clerics and other priests to try and actually understand holy books.).
Good job. Fav to have this story tracked.
2202643 Present. They are having laptops, and everything.
Edited:Cause characters are not laptops xD
Very intriguing. I'm always interested to see things like MLP (and so much else) infused with Christianity, and I echo others' hopes that Adams isn't made out to be a villainous zealot here.
2202796 must have missed that
2200741
I've got three ideas on how it ends. Only one of which is pleasant in the least.
2202805 Always white horse with a bow can show up bringing doom upon our world.... a.k.a pissed Celestia, because why not.
oh great. Adam is one of those people who lets the religion guide their morality and decision making next to completely.
2200741 of course you do. you were mentionded
As a fundamentalist, I commend you! (Don't worry, I'm a fun fundamentalist!)
I didn't think the word meant a type of cattle, I thought it meant the one-horned rhino, Rhinocerous unicornis
On this topic, I've been considering writing a fanfic which involves Leviathan (An actual biblical monster) and possibly Behemoth. Mabye Ziz too, but that's not canon. To quote tvtropes...