I am a self proclaimed horror and dark fantasy fic writer. You want darkness, death, and despair? You've come to the right place. Also an eternal Twilight Sparkle and avid Lovecraft fan.
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Time may heal all wounds, but the scars and trauma left behind could change those affected in both expected and unexpected ways, and not always for the better. For some, time is enough, but for others, something more is needed. A distraction. Something to cling to when you feel there's nothing left. For the Princess of Equestria, that something was a mystery better left unsolved.
Fantastic cover art once again done by Mix-up!
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Agelessness is very bad for one's sense of perspective, it all starts to run together, until it seems that you're the only real thing in the room.
There's always a bigger fish.
10109010
Empowered what was already there
This might be the only weak story you've written. I think it is, actually.
It's exposition heavy and I feel that nothing really happens of weight. I'm giving it a like because the promise was good, but the execution was poor.
I have to Agree with Mocha Star here. This feels weaker than your usual works. I understand your goal with this, but I believe you didn't explore things far enough. The lacking presence of dialogue makes it harder for the reader to be drawn in, and the emotional weight of things are diminished because of it. Also, the story feels a tad too short, and it feels like a lot more could be explored here. But other than that, it wasn't bad.
10109237
Well, that is disappointing to hear, but I'll accept it. I made the conscious decision to forgo dialogue specifically because it would've drawn the story out far longer than I wanted it to go. It was meant to be a short story from the get go and I'm surprised to hear that you thought it was too short. If anything I personally thought it felt a bit bloated for what I was hoping for.
But yes I'm well aware that I do better with longer stories with dialogue and I struggle with short stories like this, but I want to improve where I'm weak so all I can do is accept the criticisms and build something better next time. God bless I'm tryin'.
The story feels a bit distant, like a stranger retelling, until the final chapter at the very least and even then half of it feels that way. Maybe a little bit more brevity would have been best.
I'm just going to leave this here.
That Twilight in the cover reminds me of Discworld...
I liked it!
I also liked the fact that Twilight got around to finally building herself her very own "Mare-Cave".
Twkight:
Quills: Check,
Parchment: Check,
Crystal enchanted with a light spell: Check,
Comfy Cushion for optimal sitting: Check,
One copy of "Mare-Caves - Everything You Need To Know To Build Your Very Own Oasis - SUPER SECRET ULTRA PARANOID EDITION": Check!
Yes, the story is thought-provoking, but the lack of a real conclusion leaves it feeling a bit empty, I still like it, I just wish it had more, as Mocha Star put it, weight.
A simple 3 act tragedy that stays little but swings HARD. Being a sweet story I adore the implications and the gentle horror that the answers we seek may not be wholly worth it. Yet, no one can deny curiosity's slow creep into every crevice of the mind... what terrible things done in the name of progress. And what's worse; could we find ourselves in Twilight's stead? Great piece you've written!
I feel like a bit more info about whatever entity(s) lurks there would have helped at the end, if only because ending it all with a giant '?, but horrible' works but feels unsatisfying. Like, giving a bit more of what is lurking below, and why - at least enough beyond 'Dont fuck with it' and yes
I haven't read this yet, but the title reminds me of the penultimate volume in the "Wheel Of Time" series. "The Tower Of Midnight".
10396502
Well put.
10109101
I can't disagree much more than I do. I think the story is a strong, modern MLP take on Lovecraftian horror. Of things and powers that may drive one mad.
Weak
Twilight is the character I feel the most connected with, but I will never deny that she can be quite scary at times both in terms of her almost fanatical desire for knowledge, and her raw power. While I have nothing against her becoming an alicorn on a conceptual level, it would seem that alicornification enhances everything about the subject (for lack of better words) both for good and for ill. Anywho, enough of my prattling on, back to the story.
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You are, of course, free to your own opinion, but I don't think that Mocha was saying that this was a bad story so much as saying that it was like a dish that could have used a pinch more salt. It was good as it is, but with a tiny bit more information, on say, what was seen, or what dark things from beyond the veil can even cause someone like Discord to have nightmares, it could have been even better. If you haven't already, I highly recommend you read some of the other stories written by the7Saviors.
10418741
You are, of course, free to your own opinion but I do agree that compared to some of the7Saviors other stories this one is kind of like a dish that is quite tasty in its own right, but with a pinch more salt would be even better. Or perhaps, as The Cynical One said, it is this deceptive shortness that leaves one curious where the true brilliance of this story lies hidden. That being said, the rather ominous ending reminds me of another short story about a tower written by Cold in Gardez here on fimfiction. If you haven't read it, it's a single self-contained chapter that is part of a collection called "Lost Cities".
It's worth noting that most pop-culture uses of tarot's Death card would be more accurate with The Tower, in tandem if not the latter alone.
Agree with the above; excellent buildup, still a good story but could use just a little more detail on the entities beyond. If it had been a Lovecraft story likely Path Seeker's body would have animated and started saying horrible, blashemous truthes, and Twilight would have had to exert her magic to the limit to vaporise the puppet and prevent the horror beyond forcing its way into Equestria. As an MLP story, maybe the benevolent entity would visit Twilight's dream in an epilogue and offer some morsel of hope and/or closure?
I've had this one on my RIL for a while, and finally decided to give it a shot today.
Overall? It was quite interesting. I did like your choice not to use dialogue (actually made me want to experiment with it at some point, given that my stories are always dialogue heavy). I think you also got the "oh no" creeping sense of dread across quite well. Definitely going to dig into your back catalog (I actually have a few others that were on my RIL list already).
Not being satisfied with having lived on a placid island of ignorance in the midst of black seas of infinity, Twilight decided to voyage farther than was meant for ponykind. Path Seeker was sent ahead, as vanguard in the quest for understanding. The vast knowledge gained, and the correlation of its contents, had horrifyingly predictable results.
That only one life and its associated mind were lost is a mercy.
Well now let's see where this goes and if the answer will break the beloved princess.
Ah the plights of the immoral a hard cross to bear and one not so easily mastered.
He's about to find Los up there ain't he. I'm getting major dark tower vibes, in the best way possible.
Ooh, that ending gave me CHILLS! I enjoyed this story from start to finish.
Twilight is starting to give off a more villainous vibe, I wonder if finding out the answer to the questions she's been obsessing over for centuries will be worth it...
Why do I feel like something bad is gonna happen...? Something bad better not happen, and if it goes I hope it gets fixed.
I have so many questions right now......
So Celestia was never really there when Twilight ascended? So what about the tower? Was it just like Twilight seeing "Celestia"?
Uuuuuuuuuuuuhg, now I'm annoyed, annoyed with so many questions unanswered.