//------------------------------// // 1st of Growing Season, 10,044 AC // Story: Awakening // by solocitizen //------------------------------// Awakening Solocitizen 1st of Growing Season, 10,044 AC “So tell me about this ‘Twilight Sparkle,’ Miss Specter.” A mean unicorn by the name of Silver Prickle hunched over his clipboard and picked up a pen with his mouth. Lumina wasn’t impressed or intimidated by his fancy office with the view, or the degrees that backed his chair; the fact that he still didn’t have her name right was all she needed to judge his character. That, and he was grey. Way too grey to be friendly, or to get invited to anypony’s party. “I told you, my name is Lumina,” she said. “My father is Lightning Specter, that’s his name, no pony calls me that. My name isn’t ‘Miss Specter’ or ‘Lumina Specter,’ it’s just Lumina.” "Very well." Silver Prickle kept his eyes fixed on his clipboard and scribbled while he spoke. "I like to refer to my patients by their surname, but if you insist, we can disregard such formalities." He finished writing and let the pen drop from his mouth. "Now please, tell me about the voices in your head. Do they tell you to do anything bad, such as to hurt yourself or some other pony?" In the shadow of his desk, she was nothing more than an ant beneath the grand arbiter’s gavel. Yes, he could squish her, but before he reduced her to an oopsy on the underside of his mallet, he was going to listen to her and take her seriously. Lumina hopped off the couch and marched up to Silver Prickle’s desk, and looked at him square in the eye. “She’s not like that!” Lumina stomped her hooves. “You’re not listening to me, she’s my friend, we’re pony friends forever and she taught me how to do magic.” “I see.” Silver jotted some notes down on and gestured at the couch. “Now if you’d please take a seat, Lumina, we can continue.” “Fine.” And so the next thousand hours between three and four o’clock passed. At the end of the session, Silver Prickle took Lumina’s weight, made her say “awww” to study her tongue, and called in her father. Silver Prickle sat behind his big desk and motioned for Lumina and her father to take the seats opposite of him, and for no other reason than Silver Prickle offered, Lumina refused to sit down. “Your daughter is the perfect physical health for a filly her age.” Silver Prickle glanced at his charts and made an arch with his hooves. “She’s at a healthy weight and height for her age group, however her mental health is a whole other matter itself.” “I always suspected as much,” said her father. “Her mother never wanted to admit it but I always thought she might suffer from a psychological illness.” “We prefer the term disfunction, but yes, it was a good thing you brought her in, Mister Specter. The earlier we diagnose these things the better. Your daughter is unable to separate fantasy from reality, more specifically she is suffering from what we call Delusional Sterling Syndrome.” “And you’re certain of this after only a few sessions?” Lumina’s father shifted in his chair two or three times. “I was under the impression that Sterling Syndrome was rather rare and difficult to diagnose.” “It is rare, but not unheard of in young colts and fillies, I would usually prefer to gather more information before making such a diagnosis, but this is a textbook case.” Lumina paced about until she wandered near her father. He ran a hoof through his daughter’s mane, and then turned his worried eyes to Silver Prickle. “It doesn’t have a genetic basis, does it?” her father asked. “Not that we are aware of,” Silver Prickle said. “Why do you ask? Is there a history of mental dysfunction in her family?” "Yes, I was diagnosed with the same dysfunction when I was her age." Lumina's father pulled her in a little closer, and she didn't resist. "However, that's irrelevant if it isn't hereditary." “What’s going to happen to me?” Lumina nestled in closer to her father for the security of his presence. Her father opened his mouth to speak, but it wasn’t him that answered. Silver Prickle spoke out from behind his desk with smug authority, and drove Lumina closer to her father. “It means, Lumina, that with therapy you can live a perfectly normal life.” He pushed a brochure across the table to Lumina’s father. “Medication is by no means a long term solution, but there are prescriptions that help ease ponies suffering from this syndrome to adapt to new, healthier, modes of thought.” Lumina’s father grabbed the brochure and flipped through it. “What kind of therapy do you have in mind?” asked Lumina’s father. “I’m afraid I don’t know yet, I will need to examine your daughter further before I can formulate an effective treatment. In the meantime, I want to get your daughter started on nulamine.” Silver Prickle jotted on a pad of paper and passed it off to Lumina’s father. “I think that twenty milligrams once in the morning should be enough, but if she ever starts getting headaches, I want you to drop the dosage down to ten right away. Some mild nausea should be expected.” “Thank you, thank you so much for your help.” Lumina’s father stuffed the brochure and the prescription into his saddlebags and hoisted them over his back. “Forgive us for cutting this meeting a little short, but my daughter and I have another engagement we’re already running late to.” “Before you go, are there any questions I can help answer?” “Yeah, what is this medicine going to do to me?” Lumina spoke up at the pony behind his aircraft carrier of a desk. He leaned over and fired his gaze right down at Lumina. “This medication, Lumina, is going to make the voices in your head stop.” Once her father and Silver Prickle exchanged the obligatory hoofshakes and formalities, Lumina and her father hurried out of the office building and boarded a tram headed for the Water Front District. Lumina tried explaining to her dad how she liked Twilight, and that she didn't want the voices to stop. He didn’t want to entertain her delusional fantasies for another minute, and certainly had no desire to discuss the subject in a crowd of strange ponies. Lumina pouted in her seat and gave her father her back. She didn’t like trams; they always smelled funny and made a lot of noise. Just beyond her window the capital city of planet Arion sprawled out, and for miles upon miles, all Lumina spotted were shining towers that reached up beyond the clouds. Earth ponies and unicorns settled this world, and as the product of two different cultures, the buildings there embodied both nobility and practicality. They reminded Lumina of crystals, mystical and beautiful, but also as hard and sturdy as stone. "It gets better." Her father said after a forever of silence. He looked across the seat at her a put a hoof on her shoulder. "I know you might not believe it, but I know exactly what you're going through." “Did you have ponies that talked to you too?” Lumina let go of enough of her anger to ask the question. “Yes, and some of them even told me how to cast spells,” said her father. “Or so I believed at the time. I listened to them and their advice, and do you know where it got me? Standing in the middle of a street, in the middle of the night, completely by myself. I was in some sort of trance chasing after – I don’t remember what, I guess it was a library. When I came to I was terrified, and rightfully so. I didn’t know where my parents were. I could have died that evening. "I don't want that to ever happen to you. I'm not going to lie, the next few months might get a little difficult, but your mother and I will both be there to help you through whatever comes. She doesn't understand just how dangerous this condition can get, but we are both willing to do whatever it takes to help you." Lumina opened her mouth to talk, but the tram rolled into the station, and screeched to a halt. Without saying more, her father stood up and guided her out of the tram. The tram dropped them off at a park where the sea and city met. They waited on a park bench that over-looked the Sapphire Sea, as Lumina watched the birds in a birch tree sing to their families. Technicolor flocks met in formations in the sky and weaved between the high towers. Her father kept his eyes fixed on a datapad and didn’t even register the birds or the summer breeze. “Lumina, it says here that nulamine is effective at treating foals like yourself.” Lumina’s father talked but she didn’t listen. “I think this will all work out very well for you.” “Mommy!” Lumina pointed at a pink unicorn trotting toward their bench with a smile. She hopped off the park bench and galloped toward her mother and leapt up to hug her. “I missed you so much, mommy,” said Lumina. “I’ve missed you too, sweetie.” She kissed her daughter on her forehead and let go of her as Lumina’s father ambled up to them. “Hello, Lightning, how did the session with Doctor Prickle go?” “It went well,” he said. “He’s diagnosed Lumina with Delusional Sterling Syndrome and prescribed some medication. Good news is that with medication and therapy she’ll be better in no time. If you want, I can go get it filled and bring it by your apartment.” “No, that’s fine, I’ll take care of it.” Lumina’s mom waited for him to dig up the papers and hoof it over. He held it out for her to take. “You’ll promise to take care of this immediately and get her started on the medication first thing tomorrow morning?” He pulled it away from Lumina’s mother as soon she was about to grab it and left her biting air. Lumina’s mother frowned as if she were about to swirl around and kick him in the face. The little filly had never seen her mother this upset before, not even back when her parents still lived together and argued. She didn’t like this. “Just because I don’t agree with how you want to raise our daughter doesn’t mean that I would do anything to subvert her mental health.” She snatched it from Lumina’s father. “The very idea that I would -- never mind, I’ll take care of it.” She looked down at her daughter. “Do you have everything you’ll need for the next couple days?” Lumina nodded. “Good, then say good-bye to your father and we’ll get going.” After giving her father a brief hug, Lumina and her mother hustled out of the park, and boarded the tram to the city center. Lumina didn’t really know what to say for a big chunk of the tram ride, and her mother was too busy pouting to start a conversation with her daughter. “I’m sorry you had to see me like that,” said her mother. “It’s just that your father, you have to understand, he only wants the best for you and that’s all that matters.” Lumina looked out the window and watched the city roll by. “Hey, let’s do something really fun.” Her mother nudged Lumina in the side. “Like what?” “I don’t know, how about we go to the aquarium?” “Alright!” Lumina’s face lit up. She loved the aquarium. “Let’s get this prescription filled first and drop by the apartment, and then we’ll go to the aquarium.” “Mommy?” “Yes, Lumina?” “You’re the best mommy ever.” “And you’re the best filly a mother could ever ask for, and don’t forget it.” Just as Lumina’s mother promised, they got off the tram near the pharmacy and went inside to get her medicine. Lumina hated going to the pharmacy. It always took way too long to get medicine, and the ponies behind the counter always told her parents to wait in a really stinky waiting area. The only thing fun to do in the store was to look at all the toys and holiday decorations in the aisles. That got boring quick. “Mommy, can we go to the aquarium now?” Lumina pleaded to the side of her mother’s chair. “It’s really boring here and it smells like stale candy.” “No, Lumina, we can’t.” Her mother flipped the virtual page of her magazine. “We have to be patient and wait until your medicine is ready.” Lumina plopped herself down in a chair beside her mother. Beside her was a window, and on the other side hung a little green bud from the branch of a leafy bush. It quivered, and Lumina gasped. “Look, mommy!” Lumina tugged at her mother’s mane. “It’s a cocoon like the ones I learned about in Ms. Sun Shine’s class. I think it’s about to hatch.” “That’s nice, sweetie, but what did mommy tell you about pulling on pony's manes?” She didn’t even bother looking away from her magazine. So, Lumina ignored her and watched the butterfly emerge all by herself. It was still too early in the season for butterflies, she worried that it would freeze in the coming rains. As she watched that creature fight and push and break its way free from the cocoon, she set aside her worries. The butterfly struggled along on uncertain legs and unfurled its rainbow wings in the light of the sun. The butterfly was a fighter, a survivor, and it was not alone.