This story is a sequel to Dark Wanderings
It's been nine months since Twilight Sparkle got back from her solo sojourn to the Capital Wasteland where she met Ethan Smith, AKA that Crazy Son of a Bitch, AKA the Lone Wanderer and was changed forever. Now with Equestria teetering on the edge of a three way war Ethan is called upon to save Equestria, or at the very least to keep Twilight alive. But dark things are awakening in the background and all is not as it seems, can Ethan save Equestria? Can Twilight keep her friends on her side? Will these questions never stop? The answer to at least one of these is yes but can you find out which?
Edited by TacoTown
Coverart by the awesome Derrem
Now has a Tumblr
Chapters (40)
So guys tell me what you think, also as a new rule any comments containing fewer than four words, mindless repeating of a word like awesome, or anything else of that nature will be deleted.
I hate to do it, and I’m not looking for something deep and meaningful, but what I really need is feedback especially if I’m going to get better as a writer which is my overall goal
The word you're looking for when it comes to the number of radscorpions is "excessive", not "obsessive".
That being said, the language seems to flow better and have less errors than the one before. Good work there.
And I see you're taking my thinking there...
oh boy oh boy oh boy!
Keep 'em comming!
Yyyyyyyyyeeeeeeeeeeeeeeessssssssssss!!!
*BUCKING BRO HUGS ED2481* You are the stallion bro.....keep up the good work and yep you gotten better with this go around.
I love you dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Pinkie_loool.png
I am SO looking forwards to the 1st Ethan/Rarity meeting........
Not again Pinky
"WHATCHA DOIN?!"
Gah! Pinkie how did you get here?!
"There was multiple beacons around here so I decided to deepstrike by!"
amazing. completely and utterly amazing. fucking grade a man. keep up the good work as i loved the orginal and im expecting wesome things from this and the other 2 sequals you promised.
1491443
Thanks for the help man I'm still learning
And yeah I got tired of comments that aren't worth reading too
Alright.
Commenting on the main issues I see.
“Yeah, I am to. Should be, 'too'.
“Are you sure about this Twilight? A comma before a name in a statement. So, it should be, 'Are you sure about this, Twilight?' Can be applied to a lot of things, throughout the story.
The application of the, 'Colourful language', is applied more after the statement has been made by the narrator. If you want the statement to be true, you must use the same amount of cursing throughout the entire story.
Now, just onto slight punctuation mistakes.
Well, not to on purpose at least. Needs a comma after purpose. So as to stretch the statement correctly.
“It was great; goddesses I’m a lucky stallion. Comma after goddesses; for the same reason as above.
“I’d say that it’s the opposite personally.” Comma after opposite, again, for the same reason.
Yes sir you should thank him. Comma after yes, and after sir.
Sorry if this wasn't what you wanted when you said, 'what I really need is feedback'. Or if this is what you were implying against, when you said, 'too deep and meaningful'.
1491854
Oh no not at all, i'm a fairly inexperienced writer and i need all the help i can get
Thanks for the pointers
1491865 It's no problem, mate.
Always willing to lend a helping hand.
Also, do you need an editor for this?
1491870
I've already got TacoTown but the more the merrier, just a warning though; I write a lot so be prepared to keep up with my pace
1491876 Fair enough.
Oh my god. You will be writing a lot? BRING IT ON! I need more awesome fics to read.
Pinkie Pie was wiggling in an armchair with an energetic plastered on her face.
I think you missed a word here, energetic what? There were also about three other instances but I can't find them again. What I do when editing is read the story out loud. Do that makes finding errors so much easier.
Edit: also, twilight said that Ethan got her letter right as she sent it. But Ethan got the letter much latter, giving time for twilight to chat with her friends.
1492002
Thanks a lot for that, my brain knows what it wants to put down but sometimes my fingers miss it and then the word processors don't catch it
It's smile btw
1492026 Pinkie is too chirpy to be Auntie Dot.
I think that's negotiations......
And for God's sake, Pinkie, stop messing with the Wall! The Wall is our friend! It is there for a reason!
Great story, I love it, I love you, I love you all. GOOD NIGHT!
SLIPSPACE RUPTURE DETECTED!
...
um
did the UNSC Spirit of Fire come out of nowhere and park above Equestria?
1491795
Great job. I'll go check if this has been added yet, and if not, I will. Also congrats on the feature.
1492261
Thank you
1492074 Screw the wall, Pinkie has a hyperspace mallet!
Twilight should have known he wouldn't send a reply first
. Great start, keep it up.
Yes.
AT LONG LAST!
Now to read...
1483469
Well it already got featured so i guess that there's your awnser.
...
Okay
Reaction:
t.qkme.me/pd2.jpg
1492263
1.bp.blogspot.com/_6soCCcCuSjw/TSMDp3GrMII/AAAAAAAABdI/9NJBQWg2fO8/s1600/awesome-dog-photo.jpg
Question: If the Courier is at a meeting, Ethan is with Twilight, and Wadsworth is at the Sink, who's watching the twins?
1492690
Wadsworth is in comunication with the Sink, he's watching the twins don't worry
1492694
Ah, alright. It's just that you made it sound like he was leaving with Cassandra warning him to not kill anyone there
1492698
She meant emotionally hurt him that's all, the poor neurotic robot
1492700
Then why use the word kill? I'm more than likely not going to be the only one who makes this mistake you know.
1492703
Wait i'm confused what are we talking about?
Ohh lord, TCSOAB in Equestria! At least this version of Equestria seems a bit more, oh how to put it, mature than the canon Equestria. They're going to need all the help they can get for dealing with Ethan. Lets see what absurd thing that happens to him this time eh? Maybe Wanda and Equestria go to the same spa or something.
~With regards, the Current Student of the Second True Magic.
1492710
Something about cake
1492715
It would be Faust, and she's on a much higher level then Wanda
Well i've read it and well, this story deserves the attention because this is going to be awesome.
1492745
Thank you sir you are very kind
1492851
He has spoken!
*window crash* I CAN DIE HAPPY NOOOOOOWWW. *splat*
1491854Thanks from myself as well.
and a feature. at #5. my second favorite KND member. nice.
th09.deviantart.net/fs71/PRE/i/2012/031/d/c/mlp___fim_derpy_vegeta_by_toaster_nator-d4o6t7a.jpg
Sequil cool I shall assume my usaul role of finding your hinden shot outs
1493485
Level one go!
1493495 Freelancer powers activat shout out search mode!
"Slipspace rupture detected" Looks like shits about to get rea- Oh wait... this is a fallout crossover...
Also, will Cassandra star in this at all?
okay then i'm guessing this is a sequel and if it is can someone give me a link to the prequel i guess that would be what it's called
(edit) nevermind i found it
1493515
Of course, she's the B story
YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS SEQUEL!!! Nice first chapter.