//------------------------------// // Chapter 15 // Story: Light Wanderings // by ed2481 //------------------------------// Edited by the ever awsome TacoTown Chapter 15 Music welled up from the palace ballroom as Ethan walked towards it in his new suit. Rarity had been working on it since he’d left; apparently she hadn’t forgotten about the Gala like everyone else. It was a very formal looking tuxedo that had been seamlessly reinforced with a strong layer of steel beneath the fabric, which somehow managed to look natural while still offering a good deal of protection. Twilight walked next to him wearing a simple blue dress that matched her purple fur nicely, along with a thin golden tiara that sat between her ears. “Ethan, just out of curiosity, how many weapons are you hiding in there?” Twilight asked the man striding beside her. “My wife’s pistol and her blue knife.” Ethan replied with a shrug. “How about you?” He asked. “The plasma defender.” Twilight told him with a matching shrug. “Expecting trouble are we?” Ethan asked with a tiny smirk. “Ethan, we’re about to wade into a dance full of political bullshit. Of course I brought a gun.” Twilight replied with a chuckle. “Well then we should get in there already, no reason to keep them waiting.” Ethan told her as he pushed open the door to the ballroom. The room was absolutely filled with ponies. There were earth ponies, pegasi, and unicorns everywhere the eye could see. To Ethan’s surprise there also two slightly larger horses in the room, dressed in odd regalia. A few dozen griffins and several hippogriffs also milled around the room. The hippogriffs looked awkward and formal while the griffins looked like they were enjoying themselves, although they mostly seemed to be hanging around the refreshments table drinking wine… On a slightly raised podium in the center of the room a band was playing background music; Ethan’s ears detected a piano, a cello, a lyre, and several other instruments, but he quickly switched his gaze to another part of the room. Sitting at the high table that dominated one end of room were Princesses Celestia, Luna, and Cadence. Shining Armor sat next his wife, looking extremely bored. Ambassador Sharp also sat at the high table, but Ambassador Nymira was elsewhere, talking to a white headed griffin who was standing near Rainbow Dash. Ethan whistled slightly, this blew any party that he’d been to out of the water. “So what do we do now Sparky?” Ethan asked the unicorn, who shrugged. “Honestly Ethan, I normally get a little drunk and spend the rest of the night leaning against Celestia, unfortunately I don’t think that that’ll be an option tonight.” Twilight told him with a slight scowl. “I guess not. Well, let’s go socialize, eh?” Ethan asked with a smile. “Might as well.” Twilight agreed with a nod. They set off through the crowd of dancing and socializing, which mostly gave them a wide berth, and headed towards the two griffins who were talking with Rainbow Dash. “I’ve got to say Gilda, you certainly know how to pick a good looking mare to life bond with.” Nymira was telling the other griffin. “Thanks Aunt N, Dash is great.” Gilda replied with a smile as she bumped the pegasus with her hips. “Although I’m not sure how we’re going to get an heir to the throne if you’re a lesbian…” Nymira said, trailing off. “It’s not like there isn’t magic to help if we need it. Besides, threesomes work well.” Gilda replied with a shrug. “As long as you’re fine with it Dash.” The griffin added. “It’s cool, just keep whoever it is away from me while they do their part and I’ll be fine.” Dash replied with a shrug. Ethan looked at Twilight, who shook her head; this was a conversation that they didn’t want to be involved in. Ethan nodded and they set off again, this time aiming for the high table. On the way up to the table they were intercepted by a handsome stallion wearing a tuxedo and a thin white mare. “So you’re the stallion who’s been causing so much commotion among the nobles.” The stallion said while his eyes ran over the man. “Yeah, that’s me, Ethan Smith. Do you have a problem with me?” Ethan asked; his eyes narrowed suspiciously. “Not at all. Frankly, I find the majority of my fellows deplorable. Besides, you’re wearing some of lady Rarity’s work and are friends with Miss Sparkle. If they’ve decided that you’re a good stallion then who am I to question it?” The stallion replied with an easy smile. “Oh, alright then; it’s a pleasure to meet you mister…” Ethan said, returning the smile while offering his hand to shake. “Fancypants. And this is my wife, Fleur De Lis.” Fancypants replied with a nod toward the other unicorn, who smiled while he shook Ethan’s hand. “Charmed.” Fleur said while she flashed Ethan a quick smile. “Anyways, I just came over to tell you that if I were you I would be watching my back. Several of my more… unscrupulous associates among the nobility would like to be rid of you.” Fancypants told Ethan in a quiet voice. “They’re welcome to try. Trust me, I know how to defend myself.” Ethan replied while keeping his tone neutral. “I believe that you do Mister Smith. However, I thought that I would pass on the warning all the same.” Fancypants told him with a weary sigh. “Well thank you for looking out for me Mister Fancypants, I appreciate it. Oh, and call me Ethan.” Ethan told the unicorn honestly. “My pleasure Ethan. Also, call me Fancypants. I’m called mister quite enough as it is.” Fancypants replied with a light chuckle that broke up the dark mood that had settled over the small group. While they’d been talking, Twilight had engaged Fleur in a conversation about how typically boring the Gala was turning out to be. “Every year it’s the same thing. I honestly wonder why I bother to show up sometimes.” Fleur said with a shake of her head. “My dear, in this case boring is better than exciting, if only because it means that we aren’t being attacked by changelings, or angry woodland creatures.” Fancypants told his wife before Twilight could reply. “I suppose that’s true. Still, I’d love for something interesting to happen.” The white unicorn said with a shake of her head. “Yes, well, we should probably be going, snobs to socialize with and elitists to entertain and all that.” Fancypants said, giving Ethan and Twilight a smile. “Just remember to watch yourself Ethan, the nobility is notorious for being extremely vicious towards those who they feel impose upon their right to be “noble”.” Fancypants told Ethan. “Thanks again Fancypants, I’ll watch my back.” Ethan said, giving the unicorn a nod. Fancypants and Fleur walked away, leaving Twilight and Ethan behind with an air of worry about them. “Sparky, was he warning me or threatening me?” Ethan asked. “Warning, definitely warning.” Twilight replied “Fancypants and Fleur are some of the few nobles who’re actually worth being called noble. Fancypants himself is extremely smart, and although Fleur doesn’t have much going on in her head, she’s still a good pony.” Twilight answered. “So let me see here. We’ve got a probable war on our hands, a group who sent a brainwashed assassin to kidnap the prince, and I’ve got nobles gunning for me. Why is it that everywhere I go everyone wants to kill me Sparky?” Ethan asked. “Because you generally disregard the rules and act like an ass to most people, all the while expecting them to like you regardless.” Twilight answered frankly. “That was supposed to be rhetorical Sparky.” Ethan told her somewhat indignantly. “I know; I’m just fucking with you.” Twilight told him with a grin, causing Ethan to roll his eyes. “My god, you’ve copied a bit of my sense of humor. Everyone, run for your lives, she’s a maniac!” Ethan mock shouted with a grin, earning several odd looks from ponies around him. Twilight simply raised an eyebrow as her robotic eye’s blue light narrowed and shot into the man’s eye. “Ow, cut it out Sparky I still need this thing, unlike you.” Ethan told Twilight as he blinked spots out of his eye. “Ethan, I can and will throw you off a cliff.” Twilight reminded him as they threaded their way through the crowd. “And Sparky I’ll grab you and bring you with me.” Ethan told her. “You think that I can’t move you without moving myself?” Twilight asked him. “I think that anyone would have trouble using complex magic while their opponent stopped time the second that their horn began to glow.” Ethan replied with a smirk. “I can stop time too Ethan, and I can do it without my Pipboy.” Twilight told him sweetly. “Oh, and I learned a nifty bit of magic before you got here, let me know if you ever want to know what it’s like to be a ten year old again, followed by a fifty year old.” Twilight replied, keeping her voice sweet. “You can change my age?” Ethan asked with a perplexed look on his face. “For a few hours. It wears off after that.” Twilight replied smoothly as she weaved around a group of dancing nobles. “Damn Sparky, magic is scary stuff; I mean with that kind of spell you could kill hundreds of people in a few seconds.” Ethan said with a frown. “I doubt it. The spell is extremely advanced and even Celestia and Luna combined could only use it on more than ten or eleven ponies at the same time for more than a few seconds. I could probably keep you as a ten year old for around four hours, but any longer would probably kill me.” She explained with a shrug. “Would I retain my abilities and memories?” Ethan asked contemplatively. “Memories yes, as for abilities I couldn’t tell you.” Twilight told him. “Why?” She asked suspiciously. “Just something to keep in mind Sparky. Besides, I’m sure Cassandra and I will make good use of that when we’re older and-” “Ethan if you finish that thought I’ll turn you into a baby and throw you off the cliff like they used to do in ancient Spurta.” Twilight told him. “Fine, have it your way Sparky. By the way, we have company.” Ethan told her. Twilight looked up to see one of the horses that he’d seen when he’d entered the room walking determinedly towards them. “Hello there.” The slim brown horse said in a deeply accented voice with a smile once he’d gotten within speaking range. “I am Ambassador Achoowie from Saddle Arabia.” He added, giving them a small bow. “Gesundheit.” Ethan replied with a grin. “Hello again Ambassador, I believe we’ve met before.” Twilight said while shooting Ethan an annoyed glance. “Ah yes, the unicorn who truly wowed my wife and I with her talent at juggling small animals.” The stallion agreed with a chuckle that caused Twilight’s face to redden. “Oh, and please do not use that joke on me, I’ve heard it before.” He told Ethan. “I figured, but it’s better to ask for forgiveness then to beg permission, not that I do either all that often.” Ethan told the horse, who snorted with laughter. “I like you sir, if Equestria had more members of its society like yourself then I would agree to more of the tariffs that your monarch tries to thrust upon us.” The stallion said with another chuckle. “Well if you would accept our tariffs then we’d be able to supply you with the food that you need to make sure that your people are well fed and happy.” Twilight told him. “And if we were to do that than we would become dependent on Equestria, I think not.” Achoowie replied with the kind of smile that told Ethan that he’d heard this particular argument many times beforehand, or beforehoof depending on species… “Not dependent, we’d become real allies instead of political rivals.” Twilight told him stubbornly refusing to give up the argument. “And our alliance would end with your little ponies spreading across our great desert and needing our protection while you stripped the land bare of sand so that you could get at our massive supplies of gold and silver. Then you would leave us with nothing, it has happened before.” The stallion shot back. “You can’t blame us for what happened with the dogs, we weren’t even aware that they were living here when we got to Equestria!” Twilight said in frustration. “Also, why would we want to deprive your people of all their wealth?” Twilight added. “Epona only knows, for I surely do not. However, I find the possibility far too disturbingly high for me to agree to any type that has been broached by an animal juggler.” The horse told Twilight, who began to fume angrily. “I am Celestia’s star pupil, tutored for years in the arts of the arcane mysteries that would leave your mind blank and send your subconscious fleeing in terror! I can lift an Ursa Minor with my magic; I defeated Nightmare Moon, Discord, and King Sombra, along with several others whose names I never learned. I can KILL you with my BRAIN!” Twilight all but shouted at the ambassador. “Emotional self-control was apparently not included in your tutoring.” The stallion told her with a sly grin. “I-I… screw you.” Twilight told the stallion, who smiled innocently down at her. “I’m sorry, but I’m already married; besides you’re not tall enough for my tastes.” Achoowie said with a smirk. “Wow Sparky, he just owned your purple ass.” Ethan told Twilight with a grin; she slammed her metal hoof right into his kneecap causing him to wince in pain, but he kept his grin. “I appreciate your praise my friend.” Achoowie said, giving Ethan a smile. “Oh, and I never did catch your name.” Achoowie added. “Ethan Smith, aka the Lone Wanderer, aka That Crazy Son of A Bitch.” Ethan replied with a small flourish of his hands and a bow. “Impressive titles to be sure, but I am left wondering, what is your profession?” Achoowie asked curiously. “My wife and I like to think of each other as civilian contractors working for the greater good.” Ethan said aloofly. “Ah, so you’re a mercenary.” The stallion said with a nod. “Civilian Contractor.” Ethan corrected, while putting extra emphasis on the words. “Mercenaries are red shirts who’ll work for anyone if the price is right. Trust me I’d know. I’ve killed hundreds of them…” Ethan said before trailing off and shrugging. “Besides, I usually don’t ask for a fee and neither does my wife. Well, actually she usually asks for a gun or new toy, but aside from that we don’t ask for much, so I prefer the term Paladin of Great Justice.” Ethan told the horse with a large grin. “My friend, strangely I find myself having a hard time believing that you are a paladin, you appear to lack the moral prerogative that typically plagues their type.” Achoowie told Ethan. “Well I do what I can; hell, I’m here to keep the two birds from killing each other and trapping Equestria in the middle.” Ethan replied with a shrug. “Ah, a noble goal I’m sure.” The stallion said with a nod. “You don’t think so?” Ethan asked, narrowing his eyes. “What I believe is that if two species are so dead set on killing each other than no third party should step in between them.” Achoowie said simply. “But they’ll wage war in Equestria and ruin it.” Ethan countered. “Hardly, they have two gods ruling over them. My own people have only our lady Epona, who is only the goddess of horses so while swift, fierce, and beautiful as the desert under a full moon, capable of taking on the goddesses of the moon and the sun would be suicidal. The griffins and the hippogriffs have not a single god among them, only kings. To be frank, the Cats have a more powerful goddess in Bast, the goddess of cats and shadows, than either of them.” Achoowie told Ethan before pausing for breath. “The only reason that the griffins and the hippogriffs haven’t wiped each other out to the last chick is because those two won’t let them do it without an excuse.” He continued while throwing his mane backwards in the direction of the high table. “Typical Equestria, shoving its muzzle where it’s not needed.” He added. “Alright, I’ve had just about all of you that I can take for tonight, go away!” Twilight said, finally breaking her silence. “I suppose that I can indulge the juggler her wish, if only because I’ve grown rather hungry.” The horse said with a chuckle before he began to walk away with his tail twitching with amusement. “I hate that smug asshole.” Twilight growled. “And here I missed that completely, I thought you were friends.” Ethan told her with a chuckle. “I’m serious Ethan; he’s an absolute unrepentant bastard who knows exactly how to twist history to his own needs, and uses anything that you’ve ever done against you.” Twilight continued while she scowled. “What was that he mentioned about you juggling animals?” Ethan asked with a smile. “Something that was much less impressive then I’d planned it to be because I had to spend all day fighting Trixie and I couldn’t muster enough power to transform them all into phoenixes, so I had to settle with what could in laymen’s terms be called juggling.” Twilight grumbled. “So in other words instead of doing something actually impressive you ended up being a complete dud?” Ethan asked with a smirk. Instead of answering his question, Twilight slammed his knee again with her metal leg but he took it in stride. “The worst thing about him is that he knows which of my buttons to push to get me really angry.” Twilight continued, ignoring Ethan’s question completely. “You know, that’s the first time I’ve ever heard that expression in a non-sexual way.” Ethan told her with a chuckle. “Why do I bother trying to have serious conversations with you?” Twilight asked the man with a groan. “Because thanks to our time in the wasteland you’ve become distant from most of your friends and the only ones who really understand you are Sunny, Luna, and me.” Ethan told her with a straight face. Twilight turned to stare at him incredulously. “But-” Twilight began, but Ethan cut her off. “Fucking with ya.” Ethan told her. “Ha ha.” Twilight said dryly. “Consider it payback for earlier.” Ethan said with a smirk. “Speaking of earlier… did Luna talk to you?” Twilight asked the man as they weaved towards the high table. “Yes she did.” Ethan said, his face was calm and controlled. “And how did that go?” Twilight asked. “It made me think there’s something wrong with me.” Ethan told her with a slight grimace. “What do you mean Ethan?” Twilight asked. “I mean I had a minor mental breakdown over something that I thought that I moved past years ago.” Ethan said grimly. “So it wasn’t about the kids?” Twilight asked. “No it wasn’t.” Ethan replied. “I wouldn’t be worried about it if it was. Like you and Sunny said, it’s only natural to feel awful about that. But this; hell Sparky, I don’t remember Amata ever being like that. I mean, the way I remember it she just gave me back the ring and told me to go. We parted on as good of terms as were possible for the situation. What I saw with Luna was completely different from what happened.” Ethan said with a scowl. “I mean, yeah, I killed the bastard, but it wasn’t nearly that hard, not to mention I don’t remember her being that badly hurt.” “What are you saying Ethan?” Twilight asked. “I’m saying that something is fucking with my head.” Ethan replied grimly. “What did Luna tell you?” Twilight asked. “She denied it verbally, but her body stiffened.” Ethan told her. “Are you telling me that Luna lied to you?” Twilight asked. “I’m telling you that she’s holding something back.” Ethan replied. They were forced to cut their conversation short because they’d finally made it up to the high table. He gave a short bow to Ambassador Sharp, who nodded deeply before going back to the large steak set on the table before him, causing Ethan to chuckle lightly. “You certainly clean up nicely.” Cadence told Ethan with a smile, making him turn to her as they walked up towards their chairs. “Thanks, by the way Sparky and I are going to go looking for whoever took your son tomorrow.” Ethan told her “Really? That’s great news!” Cadence said with a large smile. “We are?” Twilight asked in surprise. “Yep, soon as breakfast is over.” Ethan told her. “Why?” Celestia asked curiously as Ethan and Twilight came to sit down next to her. “Because a stallion by the name of Fancypants, who Twilight assures me is on the up and up, told me that the nobility around here weren’t too happy about my involvement here. As in he warned me that they were going to try something soon, and honestly Sunny I’d prefer not to splatter their heads against the walls of wherever they’re going to try to take and then get rid of me.” Ethan told her simply, with a shrug. “Fancypants told you this?” Celestia asked through slightly narrowed eyes. “Yep, I’m bringing my knife with me when I go to sleep tonight.” Ethan told her as he reached for a glass of wine. Twilight moved it out of his reach with her magic and passed him some punch instead. He rolled his eyes but accepted it anyways without further comment. “Tia, I’ve been telling you four years now that we needed to do something about the aristocracy around here, they’re far to spoiled.” Luna told her sister. “And if they’re talking about assaulting one of our guests… Well, do you remember the Purge of Paris Tia? Because I do, and excluding the beheading of the queen, poor cake eating idiot that she was, I’d say that it really caused a remarkably large number of improvements." Luna told her sister, who rolled her eyes. “Lulu, you were on the moon when that short idiot Nastallion tried to take over the entire world, it wasn’t very fun let me tell you.” Celestia told her sister primly. “But it sounds amazing from the history books that I read; you even got that group of dragons to help you. What were their names again?” Luna asked her sister. “The leader was Jonathan, who Ethan met, and three were Laurence, Tem, and Izy.” Celestia replied with a smile. “I miss them, so every once in a while I go for a group visit and get involved in arguments about math and which form of government is best.” Celestia continued with a hint of nostalgia entering her voice. “Wait a second. My dad made sure that I learned my prewar history and you’re telling me that not only is there a country named France here, but it also killed its nobles and then tried to take over the world while being led by a warmonger with an ego problem?” Ethan asked. “It happened in your dimension too?” Luna asked. “Yes… he ended up getting his ass kicked, and then he came back, and then got his ass kicked a final time, and I can’t remember what happened then but I think he got trapped on an island or something.” Ethan told her. “Odd, Jonathan ate our version, said he could’ve used more ketchup.” Celestia replied. “Ethan, if you and Twily are heading out tomorrow, then I’m going with you.” Shining told them. “That’s alright with me, what about you Sparky?” Ethan asked the unicorn beside him. “Works for me, Shiny knows what he’s doing.” Twilight replied easily. “Absolutely not.” Ethan turned his head in surprise; he’d expected to hear that from Cadence. Instead it had come from Celestia herself. “But Princess-” Shining protested. “No buts Shining Armor, you are the Captain of both divisions of the Equestrian Guard and at the moment we could be at war on the drop of a bit. You cannot leave.” Celestia explained calmly. “I can send one of my men with them if it would make you feel better.” Ambassador Sharp put in, but Ethan shook his head. “Sorry Sharp, but I’m only taking people who I know and trust on this.” Ethan told him “No offense to your soldiers of course.” He added. “Of course, I understand.” Sharp replied with a quick nod. “So what do we do now?” Ethan asked Twilight. “We sit here, talk, and hope that nothing goes wrong.” *** Kane stood next to Silent Storm, who was looking around the ballroom with extreme interest. The cat was now dressed in the silver raiment of the Lunar Guard. The silver chest guard was constricting, and armor encasing his shoulders also irked him. On the bright side he’d been allowed to keep his cloak, knife, and he’d even gotten his grappling hook back. “This is the first Gala that I haven’t had to be here as a guard and I can’t wait to see what happens! This’ll be so awesome, I bet that some pretty mare will ask me out and then we’ll fall madly in love!” Silent told him with a grin. “I hate to burst your bubble Silent, but I doubt that any of these high-class asshats would look at you twice.” Kane replied with a shrug. “Yeah, you’re probably right. Oh well, no sense in not trying to get laid, I mean, come on. Mares love a stallion in uniform, right?” Silent asked with a grin. “Kid, I’ve got to say that I love your attitude. So want to grab a bite to eat and then cruise the food table looking for chicks?” Kane asked his partner. “Hell yeah man, this is going to be great, and by that I mean this is going to be the best night ever!” Silent told Kane, who chuckled at the younger guard’s enthusiasm. He reminded Kane of one of his younger brothers who had taken up stealing from the sea based merchants. Hopefully Silent would avoid having his hoof cut off. As they made their way towards the buffet table, Kane noticed an extremely tall biped walking towards the high table in the company of Twilight Sparkle. They seemed to be having an argument, and although he was too far away to tell for sure the biped seemed to be winning. “Who’s that?” Kane asked his partner, while he jerked his thumb in the biped’s direction. “Oh that’s Ethan, he’s really cool; apparently he comes from another dimension where everyone kills each other all the time and they blew up their civilization with some mushrooms, but he’s a force of good or something like that and tries to only kill people who deserve it.” Silent explained. “Well that would explain the knife that he’s hiding in his sleeve, oh and the pistol in his chest pocket.” Kane replied. “Oh yeah, that thing. It’s really powerful; I saw him when he was shooting targets, and let me tell you it’s also really scary how fast and accurately he can shoot it.” Silent said with a nod. “Interesting… So I’ve been to a few of these things before, and I’d like to know if they’re as boring when you’re on the ground as they when you’re hanging from the ceiling.” Kane asked Silent, who shrugged. “It depends, sometimes absolutely nothing happens, but sometimes things go boom or we get invaded by animals and there was that one time we got attacked by giant spiders!” Silent told him with a chuckle. “Did anyone die?” Kane asked. “Nope, just lots of spider gore.” Silent replied. “Do I even want to know how giant spiders were able to attack the Gala?” Kane asked. “Nope. Anyways, things could be boring or interesting depending on the way that things go, and we don’t know the way things are going to go yet so it’s all up in the air right now until something actually happens.” Silent told him. “What’re the odds of something interesting happening?” Kane asked. “Low, even with all the diplomatic tension I’m sure no one will do anything. I mean, this is a party. What could possibly go wrong?”