Ethan sings baby
Edited by TacoTown
AN: So yeah, this is something that I've been wanting to do for a while and I don't want to wait until the story was over so I've decided to put it up now. It'll tide people over till the next chapter, which I’m already halfway done with, is done. Please don't kill me for this! This is non-canon and takes place in a plane of existence where Ethan isn’t married
Ethan sings
Ethan sat at the high table with all three princesses, along with Shining Armor and Twilight Sparkle. They’d just finished a nice lunch and Twilight had been telling Ethan more about the natural magic of Equestria that controlled some of the finer points of Equestrian life.
“So Sparky, if I’m understanding what you’re saying right then if I burst into song right now then no one in this room will have any choice but to join in?” Ethan asked.
“Well that’s a gross oversimplification of things, but essentially yes, that’s what happens.” Twilight replied with a shrug.
“Well Sparky, I’d just like to say that. I like big butts and I can not lie!” Ethan shouted with a gigantic grin on his face. A familiar tune began to play in the background as Ethan jumped to his feet.
“What?” Twilight shouted in confusion before she got to her hooves as well and began to shake her ass to the beat, as did the rest of the table’s female diners, but not before they stood up and got in front of Ethan.
“You other brothers can't deny
That when a girl walks in with an itty bitty waist
And a round thing in your face
You get sprung, wanna pull out your tough
'Cause you notice that butt was stuffed”
Ethan continued with glee in his eyes as Twilight and the others began to gyrate in front of him. Shining Armor was standing next to him with a look that flitted between utter rage and complete surprise. Luna seemed to be enjoying herself, as did Cadence, who was chuckling while simultaneously making sure that she was mostly in front of Shining.
“Deep in the jeans she's wearing
I'm hooked and I can't stop staring”
Ethan sang shouted as he began to playfully slap Celestia’s flanks, mostly because she was the closest and easiest to reach. The Princess of the Sun turned to glare at him for a second before rolling her eyes and giving him a real shake.
“Oh baby, I wanna get with you
And take your picture
My homeboys tried to warn me
But that butt you got makes-”
Ethan continued with a grin before cutting off and letting the mares finish for him.
“M-m-m-me so horny!”
The four mares stutter shouted at the same time. Twilight looked completely scandalized and rather jealous as well, as she saw her marefriend grind against Ethan’s crotch.
“Ooh, Rump-o'-smooth-skin
You say you wanna get in my Benz?
Well, use me, use me
'Cause you ain't that average groupie
I've seen them dancin'
To hell with romancin'
She's sweat, wet,
Got it goin' like a turbo 'Vette”
Ethan moved away from Celestia and began to repeat the process with Luna who seemed to be enjoying it a lot more than her sister had.
I'm tired of magazines
Sayin' flat butts are the thing
Take the average black man and ask him that
She gotta pack much back”
Then Ethan turned to Shining and pointed while singing.
“So, fellas!”
Shining’s glare had turned into a smile and he answered enthusiastically.
“Yeah!”
“Fellas”
“Yeah!”
“Has your girlfriend got the butt?” Ethan shouted.
“Hell yeah!” Shining shouted back with a wide grin as he gave Cadence’s but a slap causing the mare to shriek playfully.
“Tell 'em to shake it!” Ethan shouted.
“Shake it!” Shining repeated and Cadence obliged.
“Shake it!” Ethan roared as he left Luna and settled back behind Celestia and Twilight.
“Shake it!” Shining repeated and gave Cadence another firm slap.
“Shake that healthy butt!
Baby got back!” Ethan finished the song with a giant grin on his face as the three princesses plus Twilight finished their dances with one last shake of their hips.
Luna was the first to recover. She turned around and gave Ethan a kiss on the lips before walking out of the room chuckling while Ethan looked at her stunned as she strutted out the door.
“I’ll be waiting in my room for you.”
Celestia recovered next, she turned, gave Ethan a dirty look, and then slapped him. Ethan discovered that being slapped by a horse’s hoof hurts significantly more when that hoof is clad in a golden horseshoe. Then Celestia gave him a fiery kiss that almost knocked Ethan off his feet before the alicorn turned to Twilight and gave her the same. The mare let out a moan, and Celestia departed, carrying the mare aloft in her golden magic.
“So, that happened.” Shining said with a sigh while he wiped away a bead of sweat from his forehead.
“I certainly enjoyed it, that’s the best song that I’ve gotten to dance to in years!” Cadence said before she turned to give Shining a passionate kiss on the lips. “Why don’t we find somewhere else to be?” She asked him coyly.
“Works for me.” The stallion replied with a dreamy grin.
Ethan was left alone in the room, so he took out a Nuka Cola that he’d kept in his duster pocket for just such an occasion before striding after Luna.
He’d gotten an invitation for sex with a goddess after embarrassing her family.
It was a good day.
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Well, that was random.
laughing so hard it comes out as nothing whilst i clap making me look like a retarded seal. laughed that hard and worse. i think im in love with your brain. will you let me propose to it? if not then could you atleast add more chapters like this one?
2067869
I'm thinking of having Blueblood sing the Lumberjack song from Monty Python
That made my day. Now if only it was something by Lonely Island
2067874
have ethan start signing every sperm is sacred whilst in public.
2067874 - Though funny... I think you stole this from a different HIE. I remember another character singing a song, though probably not this one... and causing chaos. God... what fic was it... (goes to peruse old fics)
2067901
Yep Chaos Castaways I think. I just thought that Ethan singing it with Celestia, Luna, Cadence, Shining, and Twilight would be funny
lmao forever
2067911 - Ahh, that's right.. Castaways. I thought it was Wayward Courier briefly, if only because he had a little... encounter... with Luna.
2067874 Really? Him? I think Big Mac or Pinkie would be better. (Blueblood hates touching things like trees.)
2067955
Well think about the end of that song.
Oh look, Quantum Castaways.
I'm laughing so hard right now that I just woke up my dog!
She's giving me the stink eye!
2067930 2067911
I believe it's Quantum Castaways that you are thinking of. There is a joke scene like this with the same idea and song.
Loved it there and its just as funny here
Someone has to put the link up for the song at some point... Might as well be me! (plus original music video) P.S. Didn't Quantaum Castaways do this? Maybe if more fics start doing this it'll become a meme? Maybe a PMV too?
Sweet Jesus Christ almighty, that was amazing.
Please write the Luna-x-Ethan!!!
Go home author, you're drunk!
2067959 Meh. Now they I think about it, that shop keeper from that episode with Trixie would be perfect.
I'm taking a break from a fever and calc H-work and i find this. thanks for making my day a little better
So... am I the only one who yelled HEADSHOT! when Cele slapped him? And then DOUBLE KILL when she kissed Twilight? Oh you were all still singing the rest of the song from memory at the time, my bad.
Hey wait, isn't he married? Won't Cassandra flay him alive of he shags Luna? Or are you just going to go ahead and make a super weird clop scene?
YES.
2068586
Read the A/N.
Made me laugh till the very ending. Wow good job good sir.
Brilliant
That was bloody marvelous!
I'm grinning èar toesr
After all of that, the part that got me laughing the most was
Also, Luna is best booty shaker.
...
my IQ went down just reading th' comments, nevermind how many brain cells died editing this.
I can't even.
Okay i was suspecting a regular chapter, but when i got to were the song started i busted out laughing and had to stop.
Thank you for the awesome laugh.
What is this.... I don't even.... I can't...
Yea, this is what happens when you look at the implications of a lot of effects in fictional universes, and think about how you can abuse them.
What Fun!
but now the song is playing my head
gets slapped by tia
DOSENT MATTER HAD SEX
fuck yeah!!!
2067911 you should do a continuation of this where they all sing "I just had sex"
.....
Not only was that the single most random thing to happen in this story, it was the most amazing thing to ever happen in the history of mankind. That was absolutely gold--- you know what? No, it's not just gold, it's fucking platinum.
2070072 I agree. but maybe just a short thing before the real next chapter
*wishes to say something*
*can't because he's laughing too hard*
*laughter induced heart attack*
*you are being charged with murder through comedy*
3.bp.blogspot.com/-j1eD9Fy2L-4/TqaP3ZtuEhI/AAAAAAAAapU/YXHbQeFbHWA/s1600/tumblr_lriek103P21qi5r5io1_500.gif Loved this lol
iambrony.jsmart.web.id/mlp/gif/105865__UNOPT__safe_spike_animated_winter-wrap-up_laughing.gif?1350703617
...and the Dance mod is now installed!
Speakers at max volume...
Save loaded...
iPod ready...
MIRV equipped....
LET'S BOOGIE!
I laughed at that way too much to be sane!
Saw this in quantum castaway and it made me laugth and now i got to laugth with Ethan Soooweeet.
2071075 I shall be witness at the trial.
O_O
Also: 2072422 A comment from Richtofen? BUT VY?!
I have no meaningful comment to add to this hilarious chapter. But, I finally figured out who your version of Blueblood is. It's Joffrey from A Game of Thrones. Think about it. They're both stupid evil princes with zero social skills, to the point that their royal status is the only explanation for how they managed to not only survive to their current age, but still be held in high standing. Even the hair color fits.
I've been resisting the urge to do this, but here's my attempt to express some of Blueblood's stupidity. It's just too painful for me to not point it out.:
1. So you're at dinner with the rest of the Royal Family, two diplomats from warrior cultures that hate each other and will put Equestria in the middle of a war that could potentially destroy everything you know if they don't come to terms with one another, and a mysterious stranger who made death threats against the proud warrior race diplomats without hesitation. Obviously, the best course of action is to antagonize the mysterious and barbaric stranger, and continue to do so after he threatens you.
2. Plan to kidnap, torture, and kill the barbarian. It's not like someone who was invited to a royal dinner along with two VIP diplomats might be politically important, right? What's that, he solo killed an ice troll just before you were going to kidnap him? Go through with it anyway, he's probably nothing wihout those fancy weapons.
3. Find out the barbarian is can survive hours of severe lacerations culminating in a dagger to the spine and has a twisted sense of humor, then get convicted of treason because you were too stupid to guess and didn't even bother to find out that he's an ambassador? Challenge him to a duel, you totally have a chance of winning! It's not like you're just asking for extra helpings of pain and humiliation before you get punished for treason!
But I feel so much better know that in but a few short days, I get to see him pay. I find his combination of idiocy and cruelty to be infinitely more infuriating than either would be on its own. Somehow, Joffrey and other similar characters don't piss me off nearly as badly. Probably because they live in already crappy worlds, so they don't contrast with the setting so glaringly. It's like coming upon a pile of disgusting garbage while walking through a rose garden, as opposed to coming upon such a pile whil walking through a medieval slum.
2082771
Yep he was my inspiration while writing Blueblood
My mind is full of 'wat' and 'ass' and I'm not sure if I should be laughing to death or slightly aroused...
WHY DO YOU DO THIS TO YOUR FANS ED?!