Edited by TacoTown
Chapter 17
“Aunt Nymira, why do things always result in violence whenever you’re around?” Gilda asked as she ducked underneath a pegasus guard who was flying to intercept one of the cloaked beings. “Actually, scratch that. Why do we keep sending you out as a diplomat if this kind of thing always happens?”
“Because your father loves me, and the point of half of what I do is inciting violence dear, I’m an ambassador.” Nymira replied cheekily as she tightly gripped a large, round mace that she’d drawn from a satchel that she’d been wearing underneath her formal clothes. The white griffin took the time to slowly twirl the mace between her talons before pressing a small button on the side, causing several large spikes to emerge from within; to Gilda’s considerable surprise she saw a trail of electricity flow across the mace.
“Not that I disapprove, but where in Tartarus did you get that?” Gilda asked.
“You wouldn’t believe me if I told you, but I’ll give you a hint; it wasn’t in the aerie.” Nymira said with a chuckle as she smashed the mace into one of the cloaked figures who had decided to charge her. It was sent flying backwards with a slight squeal as it travelled with the momentum of the swing. “Whiny bastards aren’t they?” Her aunt asked her with a chuckle. Ambassador Sharp chose that moment to appear, wielding a large claymore who’s blade was outlined in flames. Nymira looked at it for a second and then said. “Pocket dimension.”
“Pocket dimension.” Sharp said with a nod.
“Well shit, so you’re sexy and resourceful!” Nymira told him with a grin.
“I despise you.” He replied calmly while his flaming claymore sliced out and sent a cloaked being tumbling sideways to the ground. He then did what every good soldier did when he’d knocked an enemy to the ground, and plunged his sword downward into the figure’s chest. Unfortunately, it just seemed to slide to the side and the figure took the opportunity to take a swipe at the hippogriff. Sharp dodged backwards and turned to deliver a powerful buck from his horse legs.
“Bastards are slimy aren’t they?” Nymira asked from behind while she scanned for threats to Princess Gilda.
“That’s one way to put it I suppose.” Sharp replied with a scowl.
“Nice ass by the way.” Nymira added with a smirk. Sharp somehow managed to wrinkle his beak in disgust, but said nothing else.
“Umm, Aunt Nymira? Could you please stop flirting while there are things trying to kill us? Oh, and can I have a sword or something?” Gilda asked from behind.
“I never stop flirting, oh and here, have a dagger.” Her aunt told her while she offhandedly tossed Gilda a long-bladed knife. “You got through basic, right?” She added as she watched for more of the figures.
“Yeah, of course I did.” Gilda replied haughtily.
“Then run your feathery ass out of here while the sexy hippogriff and I cover you. And stay out of trouble kiddo.” Nymira commanded.
“But I can fight!” Gilda shouted.
“You’re twenty one; I’m your thirty five year old aunt and I outrank you when in a foreign country. And if that wasn’t enough, get out of here now. If you die then your father will literally tear me a new asshole, and I’m pretty attached to the one that I have now so I’d like to avoid that!” Nymira replied as she met one of the cloaked figures with her mace, sending it stumbling to the floor with a muffled shriek. “Oh, and I’d feel awful about it to.” She added. “Now GO!” Gilda took one last look at her aunt before she took wing and headed towards the exit.
“That was surprisingly noble for you.” Sharp commented as he readied his claymore to meet the next rush of cloaked figures who were running towards them.
“Duty comes first Sharpy. ‘Sides, if I’m going to die facing a bunch of clichéd assholes like this then I at least want my niece to get away first. Not only that, but I get to spend the time fighting next to your sexy flank so I call it a win win scenario.” She replied with a chuckle as she hefted her mace, causing sparks of electricity to shoot out.
“Hurmph.” Sharp grumbled in reply with a shake of his head.
One of the cloaked figures neared them, and Nymira leapt forward mace first and delivered a crushing blow that sent the figure to the ground. Of course, it rose right back up a few seconds later, necessitating another blow by the mace that sent it flying away. While she was distracted, another of the figures came up behind her with the full intent of slicing her in half. Sharp’s blade slashed out, slamming into the cloaked figure’s side and sending it stumbling sideways. Nymira returned the favor by pivoting and smashing her mace into a figure who had been about to get the drop on Sharp.
“My thanks.” He told her with a nod before he whirled and sent his blade scything out in an attempt to decapitate a figure to the left, only for his blade to accomplish nothing more than forcing the figure to stumble slightly to the side. Sharp let out an extremely annoyed whinny and bucked the thing in the face, which succeeded in getting it away from him.
“They’re messing with my instincts to.” Nymira said as she spun and delivered a powerful slam of her mace into the face of one of the cloaked figures, sending it sprawling.
“The lack of finishing moves disturbs me as well.” Sharp agreed as his claymore smashed into one of the figure’s stomachs, causing it to bend over in pain before the hippogriff punched it in the face. Suddenly, Ethan burst out of the crowd, followed closely by Twilight Sparkle.
“Oh good, you’re both alive- and where the hell did you two get those?” Ethan asked as he looked at the extremely large weapons in the ambassadors’ talons.
“Pocket dimension.” Nymira replied good-naturedly with a shrug as she backhanded one of the charging figures with her mace.
“Pocket dimension…” Ethan said, trailing off before he turned to look at Twilight.
“Oh no. I know that look and the answer is no!” Twilight told him.
“But Sparky, why not?” Ethan whined as he stepped to the side and allowed one of the cloaked figures to rush past him and into the waiting claymore of Sharp.
“Because Ethan, the last thing that I need is you pulling a missile launcher out of your ass whenever you feel like it!” Twilight replied.
“I didn’t want you to put it in my ass Sparky; can you imagine how inconvenient that would be?” Ethan asked her incredulously.
“We do not have time for this, right now we need to focus on keeping these two safe and us talking about your ass is not going to help.” Twilight told him as levelly as she could while she nodded towards the two ambassadors.
“Honestly Sparky, I thought we were talking about pocket dimensions, you were the one who brought my amazing ass into things.” Ethan replied as he turned in order to dodge a figure’s claw. He then pivoted and slammed the hilt of his blue bladed knife into the figure’s face. “Also, can you please figure out how to get rid of these things? They’re really starting to piss me off.” He asked her hopefully.
“My spells don’t seem to be doing much besides knocking them around.” Twilight replied as she picked up one of the figures in her magic for example and tossed it away towards where Luna was busy fighting. Luna saw the figure coming towards her and turned to deliver a buck that sent it flying out the window.
“Well Sparky, they seem to respond to any form of kinetic energy including that of my bullets, so why don’t we try something with a little more force behind it instead of fancy lights?” He asked her with a grin. Twilight stared at him with her mouth hanging open. “You forgot that I’m smart again, didn’t you Sparky?” Ethan asked her with a chuckle.
“That-that’s a brilliant idea!” She exclaimed.
“I know, and I’m very proud. Now implement my idea with that genius IQ that I know you have and then let’s go get desert.” Ethan replied with a chuckle.
“Umm, what are you to talking about?” Nymira asked.
“It’s actually really obvious, and I can’t believe that I had to have it pointed out to me.” Twilight said with a slight groan as her horn began to glow and the nearest four cloaked figures were caught in her powerful magic grasp.
“You see; I’d noticed earlier that they, the cloaked figures, were unaffected by everything that anyone threw at them. No matter what we did nothing penetrated their cloaks nor did they sustain any physical damage. However, they did seem to be responding to the kinetic force of the blows or spells that they were hit with.” Twilight explained while the four cloaked figures struggled futilely in her grasp.
“I’d been ignoring that last bit until Ethan pointed it out to me. You see they aren’t immune to damage; well actually they are, but that type of damage is the kind of damage that you deliver with the blade of a sword, or at the effect of a magic missile.” Twilight continued.
“We were going about this the wrong way entirely. Instead of focusing on trying to cut, smash, or obliterate them all we really need is to apply the correct type of force.” Twilight finished with a smile.
“In Equestrian please.” Nymira told her.
“To put it simply we just need to hit them with enough kinetic energy to overcome the cloaks.” Twilight replied.
“But what about my mace?” Nymira asked. “This thing can deliver a blow strong enough to cave in the skull of fully grown minotaur, how isn’t that enough kinetic energy?”
“It’s a start, but not good enough. This is an extremely powerful enchantment, and as such requires an extremely powerful and concentrated blast of kinetic energy to break it.” Twilight explained. “Observe.” She added and then with a small frown on her face she picked up a nearby spear that one of the guards had dropped and made it hover in front of one of the figures. “I hope this spear is forged out of good enough steel for this to work.” She added quietly to herself.
Then with a flick faster than the eye could see the spear shot forward and impaled one of the figures in the chest. To the surprise of everyone but Ethan and Twilight the figure was literally torn out of Twilight’s magical grasp and sent flying towards the far wall. It impacted against the wall with enough force to crack the enchanted stones of castle’s wall; the hall suddenly fell silent as everyone turned to stare at the figure lying vertically on the wall. The figure’s chest was torn completely open, black blood and giblets of wet meat covered the floor beneath. Of the spear there was nothing left except for a pile of metal splinters that littered both the now gapping chest wound and the ground beneath it.
“Well, that seemed to work.” Ethan said breaking the silence with a chuckle. “How fast was that going Sparky?” He added.
“Three fourths the speed of sound.” Twilight panted.
“Neat, you up for a few more rounds?” Ethan asked.
“I’ll manage.” Twilight replied.
“Goody, I’ll keep you safe in the meantime.” Ethan replied while he flashed her a quick smile. “Alright folks get back to your screaming and whatnot, Sparky and I are about to save your asses.” He yelled; ponies once more began to shout, Ethan’s pistol went off loudly silencing them. “Actually, scratch that; shut the fuck up and let the lady work in peace and fucking quiet.” He shouted, silencing the room once again. One of the cloaked figures leapt at him and he roundhoused it away. “Sparky, hurry this up; I’m suddenly in the mood to get to sleep and these assholes are keeping me awake.” He said it lightly, but there was a definite edge to his voice. He also didn’t indicate which group of assholes he was talking about…
“Working on it Ethan.” Twilight replied as she scrunched up her face. A few dozen cloaked figures leapt out of the shadows and charged her, half of them were caught in Twilight’s magic as she began to pick up random swords and sent them flying indiscriminately towards walls. The rest were intercepted by an extremely annoyed Ethan along with the two ambassadors. Celestia and Luna exchanged a glance, and then began to mimic the purple unicorn.
The extermination of the cloaked figures took a shockingly short amount of time, ten minutes of heavy yet boring fighting, and then it was over. Twilight was leaning heavily against Ethan, who was supporting her with a calming hand, while Celestia and Luna, who were also tired, began to herd ponies out of the room with the help of the guards.
“You okay Sparky?” Ethan asked.
“I will be, I just need a really, really, really strong drink.” Twilight replied hoarsely.
“Glad to hear it.” Ethan said with a small smile before he turned to the two ambassadors. “That was a good fight you two, thanks for watching my back.” Ethan said with a smile.
“Barely enough to get me winded.” Nymira replied.
“Yes, I can fight for hours on end, this was nothing.” Sharp agreed.
“Hmm, good. Because I have the oddest feeling that we’re not done yet.” Ethan replied.
“Why’s that?” Nymira asked.
“Because this was too easy.” Ethan replied simply.
“Ethan, this wasn’t easy!” Twilight said in aggravation from beside him where she’d all but fallen to the floor in exhaustion.
“Actually, it kinda was for everyone but you Sparky, well you and the few dozen Solar and Lunar Guards who got maimed anyways.” Ethan said.
“So what do you think’s goings to happen next.” Sharp asked interestedly.
A sudden roaring filled the air and a large, bleached white shape leapt through the broken windows. As it moved into the newly established light of the room, (the light was coming from a small, temporary sun that Celestia had set up floating above the center of the room to help in the evacuation attempt) Ethan caught sight of an extremely ugly beast. Its hide was covered in bleached white fur, or at least what Ethan could see of its fur beneath the thick, white, plate armor that covered the majority of it its body, leaving only bits at its elbows and around its face free to see. Speaking of its face, it was truly monstrous, being taken up by four small squinty eyes along with a large pig like nose. An enormous mouth full of mismatched teeth stretched out beneath that nose, and several streaks of drool trailed from within.
It’s probably a good time to mention that the beast was fifteen feet tall and most likely weighed half a ton if not more so, and most of it muscle. In its hands it carried two extremely large metal clubs that looked to be almost as long as Ethan was tall, each was topped with a large spike. The thing roared loudly and the smell of half-digested meat wafted over Ethan like a wave.
“Oh, you have got to be fucking with me.” Ethan said slowly. “Sparky, you wouldn’t happen to know what that thing is would you?” he asked.
“Frost troll. It’s regenerating, pain resistant, fire retardant, animalistic, cannibalistic, and generally bad smelling. They’re only found in the area around the crystal empire, and they're not supposed to be intelligent enough to wear armor. In short, we’re so fucked.” Twilight said, filling him in tiredly.
“Do you have enough juice in you to teleport back to my room and get my actual weapons?” Ethan asked her.
“Just.” Twilight replied.
“Do it, and do it quickly, bring everything.” Ethan instructed. The unicorn vanished in the time it took the troll to take a step forward, and then she reappeared a second latter before passing out on the ground beside him with his bag of gear on her back. “Thanks Twilight.” He said softly as he reached into the bag and began to pull out his tools of the trade.
“How do you want to do this?” Nymira asked him as she readied her mace.
“Stay out of my way, I’ve killed bigger.” Ethan replied simply as he grasped his shock sword. Then he reached into the bag and pulled out his 12.7mm submachine gun. “Alright ugly, let’s dance!” He shouted. The frost troll roared and charged at Ethan.
12.7mm bullets shot out of the submachine gun and riddled the troll’s armor with large holes as inky white blood poured from the wounds. Much to Ethan’s annoyance the troll didn’t seem to notice all that much. Nymira and Sharp exchanged a look; he’d successfully dealt more damage in a matter of seconds then they would’ve been able to in a full half hour…
Ethan dodged around the lumbering troll as his hand easily found another clip for his submachine gun, and rolled to his feet as a stream of lead flowed from the gun. The bullets cut deeply into the troll’s flesh, gauging out large craters of bloody meat. The troll roared again and swung one of its large clubs at Ethan, who rolled to the side.
He wasn’t as lucky with the second club, which caught him in the stomach as he rose to his feet, sending him flying with a dull thunk. Ethan impacted against the wall and fell to the ground already on his feet and ready to return to the fight. He let fly another clip of his 12.7, tearing more holes in the trolls hide which was at this point covered in inky white blood. Then he attached the 12.7 back to his belt and grasped his shock sword with both hands.
“Come here ugly, it’s time to play!” Ethan shouted as he charged straight at the frost troll, who roared a challenge.
Ethan strode towards the beast, quickly gaining speed until he was sprinting, the shock sword was held sideways in one hand. As he neared the troll, it swung one of its large clubs at his head, but Ethan simply ducked underneath the blow and kept going. The other club arced down at him, and Ethan brought up his shock sword to deflect the blow and barely changed his stride as the impact rocked his arm. Then, with a snarl, Ethan leapt forward blade first, and sank it into the troll’s chest. The troll roared as electricity surged through its body, but even with the sword embedded in its chest it punched Ethan in the face, sending the man and sword several feet backwards.
“Is that all you’ve got?” Ethan asked with a grin. “I’ve fought raiders stronger then you!” He added before taking a second to spit a little blood onto the floor.
“Should we help him?” Nymira asked Sharp.
“No, this is his contest of skill. We are unnecessary.” Sharp replied with a shrug. To Ethan’s considerable annoyance, the troll had used the time gained by punching him away to heal its wounds, which had all disappeared.
“Of course you can heal, why wouldn’t you be able to?” He asked the frost troll rhetorically.
Then the man sighed and once more drew his 12.7 and unleashed two whole clips of ammo into the frost troll’s chest, pockmarking it with an intricate set of holes that bled white blood all over the floor. The troll let out a roar and barreled towards Ethan, who stood his ground and poured bullets into the thing’s head destroying two of the troll’s eyes and gauging large holes out the back of its skull. The troll simply regrew the eyes and the holes in the back of its head healed a few seconds later. Ethan let out a groan of annoyance and charged at the beast again.
“Now I know how my enemies feel when I randomly regenerate all the skin on my body.” Ethan said angrily as he nimbly rolled away from the frost troll, who ran into a table and shattered it.
Then the troll did something that made Ethan even angrier it, it threw a table at him. Not one of the small round tables, not even one of the ones where they put buffet platters on. This was one of the large banquet tables made of hard wood. The end of it hit him in the face and sent him flying backwards to the floor with a groan. The troll roared again, but this time it was a mocking roar.
“Alright, fuck this.” Ethan said as he rose back to his feet and drew his 12.7. Then, with practiced ease he slipped into VATS and froze time. He looked over the frost troll for a few seconds before he unfroze time and waved the troll forward. The troll was happy to oblige and charged straight at him.
Then when it was fifteen feet away Ethan slipped back into VATS and used the targeting system to queue every available action point into the troll’s head. Then he released his hold on VATS and time returned to normal as four clips of 12.7 hollow point rounds shot into the troll’s skull in quick succession. The skull exploded in a shower of bones, brains, and icy white blood that soaked the floor. The body of the troll hit the floor with a thud.
Sharp and Nymira stared at the man as he strode towards the downed beast, shock sword in hand. He made a little flourish and spun the blade around by its handle before he stabbed down into the beast’s body right where its heart was located. The troll’s body shuddered once as the wave of electricity washed down its nerve endings and through its veins. Then it was still.
“Alright, I swear to god if that thing-” Ethan began as he turned around to face Sharp and Nymira again. He was cut off by a loud rumbling as the troll pulled itself back to its feet with a roar. Somehow, its head was completely repaired. “Well then, I’m cutting off its goddamned head.” Ethan told the other two with a growl before with a shout of unadulterated rage he charged the troll.
One massive arm smashed down in front of him and Ethan easily hopped onto it. Then, as the troll attempted to scrape him off with the other arm Ethan’s sword lashed out, scouring a deep cut that went all the way through the armor covering the arm and down to the bone beneath. As the troll roared in pain as Ethan continued up its arm until he reached the shoulder. He stood next to the troll’s head as it scanned back and forth in an attempt to find him.
Then with a powerful chop he slashed his blade into the nonexistent neck that connected the head to the body, cleanly slicing all the way through. The head rolled to the ground and the body began to shift unsteadily before it fell to the ground with a slam. Ethan had already jumped forward off of the thing as it began to teeter and was well out of range of the falling troll’s body by the time it hit the ground.
“And stay dead!” Ethan told it. The troll began to regenerate. Ethan let out an incredibly frustrated shout and ran back over to his pack and quickly began to assemble his anti-material rifle. He had it ready by the time that the troll had finished regrowing its head.
“Anti-material rifle, this is the frost troll. Frost troll, this is my anti-material rifle. It fires exploding .50cal rounds. You may be wondering why I’m bothering to explain this to you.” Ethan told the troll as it roared. “Well the answer is that you’re really pissing me off and I feel like you ought to know what killed you.” Ethan answered.
The troll roared and charged, but Ethan was more than ready. His first shot hit the monster in the right kneecap, where its armor was significantly weaker then everywhere else. The kneecap exploded in a shower of bone and white blood. His second shot, which was fired mere seconds after the first, slammed into the left kneecap with a similar result. His third shot raced towards the beast’s right arm, shattering it in an explosion of force. The forth shot hit in the same place, but on the left side of the body. The fifth shot slammed into the troll’s stomach, carving out a hole straight through to the other side while the sixth shot smashed into the beat’s chest blowing a huge gaping wound. His seventh and eight shot hit the head and neck respectively, both with large explosions. This had all happened within a few seconds of the first shot being fired.
Ethan then knelt down next to his bag and quickly assembled Vengeance, his gatling laser. With practiced calm he unloaded enough laser beams into the corpse to turn each and every piece of meat into little more than ash. The two ambassadors stared at him, and at the ash pile on the floor.
“Whelp, looks like we need a maid; it seems that someone was smoking in here and got the ashes everywhere.” Ethan said as he turned his back on the piles of ash and began to pack away his gatling laser. “Oh, and if it gets up after that then it’s officially not my problem anymore.” He told the ambassadors as he walked over to where Twilight was lying on the floor and then nudged her with his boot. “Hey Sparky, wake up. I killed the regenerating asshole.” He told her.
“Two more minutes.” Twilight groaned.
“Yeah, I’ll just take that as applause then while I carry you to wherever your fuckbuddy’s gotten to.” Ethan told her with a chuckle as he gently lifted her into his arms. “You two take care of anything that’s left.” He commanded the two ambassadors with enough authority in his voice to make them automatically salute; it was an old reflex for both of them.
Ethan walked out of the room whistling to himself while he held Twilight easily in his arms. She let out an extremely cute little yawn and cuddled closer to his chest. Ethan chuckled softly to himself and stroked her mane.
“You know Sparky, I can’t help but think that we forgot something…”