//------------------------------// // Chapter 7 // Story: Light Wanderings // by ed2481 //------------------------------// Edited by TacoTown Chapter 7 Once breakfast was finished, Ethan accompanied Twilight as they walked down the hall. Rainbow Dash had decided to tag along too, and was currently hovering next to Twilight. “So Twilight, what else haven’t you told us about your time in the Wasteland?” Dash asked inquisitively. “Well, I’m guessing that she left out the part with the orgy, but it’s not that interesting…” Ethan said, giving Twilight a grin. “You were in an orgy?” Dash asked excitedly. “No I wasn’t.” Twilight replied with a scowl at Ethan. “Sparky, you shouldn’t lie to your friends.” Ethan said with a chuckle. “And you should remember that I’m perfectly capable of teleporting you off a cliff.” Twilight replied dryly. “It’s not like it would do that much.” Ethan said with a shrug. “The cliff happens to be four hundred feet tall with giant spikes made out of crystals at the bottom.” Twilight told him. “Oh, and it’s underground.” She added with a sweet smile. “You know Sparky, that’s one thing that I’ve missed over the last nine months; you’re so adorable when you think that you’re being threatening.” Ethan told her with a grin as he patted her head. “I’m not cute!” Twilight protested. “I’d say that your fuckbuddy would disagree with you on that.” Ethan told her with a chuckle. “I don’t get you two.” Dash said, looking from one to the other as she floated above Twilight. “We’re fire forged friends who connected during the cruel crucible of battle, oh and she’s secretly attracted to my raw animal magnetism.” Ethan replied with a chuckle. “I can still arrange for you to be thrown off of the wall…” Twilight said before trailing off at the sight before of them. Her eyebrows raised in surprise and a plasma defender that she’d been wearing on her hip immediately jumped into the air and fired off a bolt of glowing green plasma at the creature standing before them. The creature rolled her eyes and the plasma impacted harmlessly off of a fiery green barrier. “You’re a little trigger happy Sparky; are you afraid of bugs?” Ethan asked as he looked at the black chitinous being in front of him. “That bitch brainwashed my brother!” Twilight shouted as she fired off another few bolts; Queen Chrysalis simply raised an eyebrow from within her shield. “I got this Twi.” Dash said as she flew towards the force field. The blue pegasus impacted against the force field with a loud bang, followed by a loud shout of pained surprise. “That’s hot!” Dash shouted as she flew back and landed on the ground next to Twilight, who looked over her friend’s now burned hoof. “It’s not serious Dash.” Twilight told the pegasus who nodded thankfully. “Perhaps I should try.” Ethan sad with a smirk. “Well this obviously isn’t working, so I guess you might as well.” Twilight said with a growl as her plasma bolts bounced harmlessly off of the fire-green shield. “Allow me.” Ethan said as he stepped up to the force field. He extended a finger, and touched the field before drawing it back as he blew on it to cool it and then stuck it in his mouth; Twilight could hear the hiss as the flaming skin touched the inner lining of his mouth. Then, with a grin on his face Ethan shouted. “Hey sexy lady, why do you have to be so hot?” “Did you just call me sexy?” Chrysalis asked with a sly smile. “Nope, I just wanted to see if you could talk.” Ethan replied with a smile before he reached into his pocket, withdrew a pulse grenade, and pulled the pin. The grenade exploded in a burst of static that washed over the Changeling’s shield, causing it to sputter out as if someone had just poured a bucket of water over it. Then, Ethan moved forward with a sly smile on his face. Chrysalis was looking at him in surprised confusion, but instead of giving her any time to prepare Ethan simply brought A Light Shining in the Darkness up to point at her muzzle. “I’ll make this quick, I’ve just disabled your magic and this gun can cut a hole through a six inch plate of steel. You’re going to tell me just what you’re doing here and what you did to Twilight or I’m going to be spattering your bug brains all over the wall. Am I understood?” Ethan asked her with a wicked grin. “You’re exuding laughter and joy, not the usual cocktail of anger or the fear that comes from someone who’s about to kill someone else. You’re not going to shoot me.” Chrysalis told him with a smug smile. Ethan decided to use a trick that his wife used when talking wasn’t working for her, not that it didn’t that often but it was always good to have a backup plan if your words aren’t covered in enough honey. With a grin firmly attached to his face Ethan pulled back his head before smashing it forward into Chrysalis’s face. The Changeling Queen staggered back in as much shock as pain and Ethan followed up by punching her in the chest, which sent her tumbling to the ground. “So, what have we learned?” Ethan asked as he walked towards the Changeling Queen who struggled back to her hooves and glared angrily at him. “I am a Queen, I could have you hanged for this!” Chrysalis growled. “Good luck with that. Now, why don’t you tell me why Sparky over there wants to kill you?” Ethan asked as he un-holstered his pistol again and pointed it at Chrysalis’s head with a grin, as his blue eyes sparkled dangerously in the light shining through the hallway window. “What is going on here?” Celestia asked as she walked down the corridor. “Bug bitch needed a beat down.” Ethan supplied with a shrug as he motioned at Chrysalis with his free hand. “This… thing head-butted me and then punched me along with a clear death threat; I’d like to request a hanging.” Chrysalis told Celestia with a glare at Ethan. “Oh, and Miss Sparkle tried to shoot me.” She added. “Did you do anything to antagonize either of them first?” Celestia asked. “Perhaps it was my existence…” Chrysalis said as she narrowed her eyes. “I apologize for the behavior of Twilight Sparkle, I hadn’t yet had the chance to tell her that you were coming by. As for the man… He isn’t inside of my authority as he isn’t an Equestrian citizen, however I shall make sure that he knows the consequences that will come if he doesn’t learn to act like a normal resident of my nation.” Celestia said as she gave Ethan a hard look. In response Ethan smiled and blew her a kiss, causing the solar alicorn to let out an internal sigh of annoyance. The man just didn’t seem to possess the ability to learn from his mistakes, and he always seemed to punching someone! How could he think that that was good way to conduct negotiations? “Very well then. There’s also the matter of the ten unconscious changelings found in a bar, claiming to have been attacked by a tall bipedal creature matching his description.” Chrysalis said, casting a glare at Ethan. “To be fair they attacked me first, and to be even fairer I only knocked out one of them. The rest did it to themselves.” Ethan pointed out with a smirk. “Ethan, shut up.” Celestia told him before she turned back to Chrysalis. “What he meant to say is that he’s sorry to have injured your people and that he won’t do it again.” Celestia told the Changeling Queen while she gave Ethan the evil eye. For once, Ethan took the hint. “Yes, that’s it exactly. I just get so forgetful these days. I mean, between all the drinking and head injuries, not to mention all of the maimings and bullet wounds, I’m surprised that I can remember my own name sometimes.” Ethan told the Queen with a goofy grin. “Yes well… don’t do it again.” The black chitined creature replied before she turned back to Celestia and asked. “Your sister asked for me to come here, although for what purpose I can’t imagine. Do you happen to know where she is?” “Knowing Luna she’s off in her room; I suggest knocking before you open the door.” Celestia said. “Very well then, I shall take my leave of you princess.” Chrysalis said before she walked away. “I’m feeling some unresolved sexual tension in the room.” Ethan said once the changeling queen was far enough away. “That was awesome!” Dash told Ethan as she hovered around his face. “First you were all like ‘tell me what I want to know’ and then you head-butted her!” The pegasus said excitedly. “Rainbow Dash, would you mind leaving us? We have important matters to discuss.” Celestia asked Dash, who shrugged. “Sure, I need to talk to Fluttershy about something anyways. Bye Twilight, bye Ethan.” Dash said before flying off. “So, what’s up Sunny?” Ethan asked Celestia with a grin. “As this event has proven you can’t be trusted not to engage in boneheaded actions, I have selected someone who I trust deeply to be your personal lawyer, and I would like you to meet with her now.” Celestia explained. “Well this wasn’t really my fault. Sparky shot first, I was just more effective.” Ethan said, defending himself. “It’s true Tia, I did start shooting first. The more important thing is what in the hell is Queen Fucking Chrysalis doing in the palace?!” Twilight said angrily. “Do you have any idea what will happen if Shining or Cadence see her?” The purple unicorn asked. “I didn’t invite her, my sister told me that she was coming two minutes before I heard the sound of your weapon going off.” Celestia said flatly, she was obviously about as happy with the changeling visiting the palace as Twilight was. “Anyways Ethan, I’ve appointed someone to act as your legal consultant because I’m sure that you’ll need one at some point in the future; in fact you should probably go and see her now. To get to her office you take a right at the end of this corridor, and then it’s the fifteenth door on the right.” “What’s a legal consultant?” Ethan asked, causing Twilight to facehoof and Celestia to sigh internally; she seemed to be doing a lot of that lately… “A legal consultant or lawyer as they are more commonly called, are ponies who will help you defend yourself in court, a place that I have the oddest feeling that you’re going to end up before your time here is over.” Celestia explained. “Court?” Ethan asked, now even more thoroughly confused. “A place where you prove your innocence after you’ve committed a crime or where you go if someone has wronged you.” Celestia elaborated. “But that’s what guns are for.” Ethan said obliviously. “That’s not the way we deal with our problems in Equestria.” Celestia told him flatly. “But gu-” “And if you can’t accept that then I’ll send you right back to your depressing home and never let you return.” Celestia said, cutting him off. “Fine, I’ll meet with this lawyer person...” Ethan said with a roll of his eyes. “I’ll take him there.” Twilight told Celestia who shook her head. “I’d like to talk to you alone for a little while Twilight.” Celestia told her. “Something important?” Twilight asked with an arched eyebrow. “Potentially.” Celestia replied with a wink. “You two are going to go fuck while I’m stuck talking about laws, aren’t you?” Ethan asked. Instead of answering him, Celestia and Twilight disappeared in a flash of white light. “Figures.” Ethan said before he took off down the hall heading towards the lawyer’s office. *** “Dammit Ethan!” Cassandra shouted in frustration as she looked for her favorite gun among the hundreds adorning the walls of the armory that she’d had built into the suite level. “What’s wrong?” Boone asked from the armory door, where he was attempting to cover up an amused smile. “I told him that he could take some of my guns, but I didn’t think that he’d take my favorite pistol!” Cassandra exclaimed, throwing her hands up in annoyance. “He took Light?” Boone asked in surprise. “Yes!” Cassandra said in aggravation. “Why don’t you take that one that you got from the Gunrunners?” Boone asked. “I guess it’ll have to do.” Cassandra replied as she went over the rack containing her Li’l Devil 12.7 mm pistol, and grabbed it by the black grip. She quickly checked all of the moving parts for broken or bent pieces, before nodding in satisfaction and sliding it into the holster on her hip. She collected several handfuls of ammo for the gun from an adjacent container, and popped them into one of the many pockets sewn into her riot gear’s duster. Next, she walked to the wall where she kept her rifles. After a few moments of hard thought she settled on using her Medicine Stick for her long-distance needs, and her .45 auto SMG for her rapid fire weapon, along with enough ammo to keep both guns shooting for around a week. Then, she crossed the floor to her shotgun wall. She quickly grabbed her riot shotgun from where it sat in its well-worn slot, along with enough dragon’s breath and flechette rounds to kill an entire legion of Legion. Finally, she walked over to her wall of melee and unarmed weapons. Apparently Ethan had taken Blood-Nap, so she settled on one of her normal bowie knives and an industrial hand. Boone, who had watched all of this from the doorway, shook his head and rolled his eyes at how many weapons she was bringing, but Cassandra just smiled, it was good to have the tall man with her again, just like old times. Cassandra had had a bit of a crush on Boone the moment that she met him; who wouldn’t when presented with such a tall, imposing, and utterly dangerous man? That crush had of course disappeared the moment that she learned about what had happened to his wife… Now she just regarded the man as one of her best friends, who she’d give her life for if necessary. She’d always been surprised that the big sniper hadn’t put a bullet in her brain when she’d turned against the NCR. Instead, the man had forgiven her, and after a bit of time living as a caravan guard he’d returned to the hotel and asked if he could stay and help her protect Vegas. Then, nine months ago he’d been hit hard by an odd type of wanderlust, and set off to see what he could see and do some thinking along the way. Now the man was casually leaning against the doorframe, wearing a suit of desert ranger armor that Cassandra had found in the middle of a cave in the Grand Canyon, minus the helmet. Across his back was the Gobi Campaign rifle. The rifle and Boone had a history; he’d used it to kill his wife when she’d been sold into slavery with no way of rescuing her. Then, two months later he’d used it to kill the leader of that camp as he made his rounds, just before Cassandra had dumped nuclear waste on it. Upon his head was his ever present beret, while a pair of aviator sunglasses covered his eyes. “So are we going, or are you going to pick specific grenades to take with us to?” Boone asked with a light smile on his face. “Actually, you’re right I need some grenades.” Cassandra replied with a small smile and Boone rolled his eyes. That was odd; Boone had always been fairly stoic; now however he seemed to have adopted a bit of sarcasm. To be honest, it was kind of unsettling… “Did something happen while you were out there?” Cassandra asked as she drifted over to the grenade storage unit. “Why do you ask?” Boone asked, while Cassandra quickly retrieved half a dozen plasma, along with another half dozen incendiary grenades and six satchel charges, just to be safe. “You should take a few mini nukes to. After all, what if we have to be completely sure that whatever it is that’s killing the cazadors is dead?” Boone asked her with a slight chuckle. “I don’t think that that’ll be necessary.” Cassandra replied with a slight chuckle, although she did turn her gaze towards the shelf that contained every mini-nuke that she’d been able to find in the Mojave Wasteland. “I was joking.” Boone told her dryly with another shake of his head. “Alright then, I’m done. Do you need anything?” Cassandra asked Boone, who shook his head. “No, I’ve got all I need.” Boone replied with a smile. “Well then, shall we?” Cassandra asked, gesturing towards the door with her right hand. “Ladies first.” *** Ethan walked into the lawyer’s office with a slight hint of apprehension. He wasn’t stupid, but if there was one thing that he knew next to nothing about then it was Law. He’d heard that the NCR were really big on using Law, but he’d never been directly involved in it before now and he wasn’t exactly looking forward to it. For some reason when he thought about Law he got the mental image of a boring, bored looking man in a plain black suit, staring at him imperiously. So Ethan was extremely surprised when he instead found himself face to face with a very different kind of person, sitting casually in a leather upholstered arm chair behind a nice mahogany desk. The unicorn looked him over slowly before drawing a flask of whiskey out of her slightly disheveled brown suit, and took a sip. The mare then brushed her long azure mane out of her green eyes and took another sip before offering Ethan the flask. Ethan accepted it with a nod, but he also took out his own flask and passed it to her. They drank in unison and both traded an appreciative nod to the other before passing back their respective flasks. “So you’re Ethan. Strange, I figured that you’d be taller.” The mare said in a scratchy voice, that despite its roughness was strangely endearing. “I figured you’d look more serious.” Ethan replied with a shrug as he took a seat in the wooden seat in front of the mare’s desk. “I save my seriousness for court.” The mare replied with a matching shrug as she took another sip of her whiskey. “Do you now?” Ethan asked with a grin; he liked this mare already. “Yes, and I have the oddest feeling that you’ll get me there more then I’d like, so let’s make this quick. Everything that I’ve heard about you suggests that you’re a brash jackass with an almost suicidal tendency to jump off of cliffs both metaphorical and physical, but beneath it all you’re a good perso-” “You forgot to mention my raw animal magnetism.” Ethan interjected. “However could I have forgotten?” The mare asked with a chuckle. “Anyways, I like you already, but here’s the thing. I can keep you from being imprisoned if and only if you can avoid killing people, other than that I believe that between my years of experience along with a little luck I can keep you out of the slammer. But the second that you kill someone innocent, you will lose my support. I don’t like people who kill the innocent.” The mare said, narrowing her eyes and staring Ethan right in his. “I’ve been doing my best, but if I do kill someone who deserves it than I’m not going to apologize for it.” Ethan replied while he met her gaze. They stayed staring at each other for a few minutes until a smile crossed the mare’s face. “I said innocent. If they’re not innocent, then…” the mare trailed off, giving Ethan a knowing smirk. “I like you.” Ethan said with a wide grin. “So, what’s your name?” He asked. “Call me Frosty Glass.” The mare replied with a small grin. “So, shall we get down to business?” An hour later Ethan’s head hurt more than it had after his first head injury, which he’d gotten jumping off of the ledge outside of Moria’s store in an attempt to break a limb. He’d woken up to Lucas Sims giving Moria a lecture about asking researchers to do stupid things, which Moria had evidentially ignored completely… Anyhow, his head now felt completely muddled, which was why he decided to take a walk, and that walk led into Rarity’s bedroom… *** “We aren’t having sex, are we?” Twilight asked the second that they flashed back into existence. “No my dear, I’m afraid that we aren’t.” Celestia informed her pupil as a frown crossed her face. “It’s about Ethan, isn’t it?” Twilight asked, but Celestia shook her head. “No, it’s not. Or at least, not directly.” Celestia said as she pursed her lips in thought. “What do you mean?” Twilight asked. “There’s something influencing things in Equestria and the world around us.” Celestia told Twilight. “Isn’t there always?” Twilight asked with a little smirk. “This is serious Twilight!” Celestia shouted, causing Twilight to flinch in surprise. Than a sorrowful look crossed Celestia’s face, and she closed her eyes as she visibly struggled to regain her calm. “I’m sorry Twilight…” The alicorn said before she bent down to place a careful kiss on Twilight’s cheek. Twilight felt the familiar sense of solar warmth spread over from her love’s lips, and she began to relax. “It’s fine Tia.” Twilight murmured; her robotic eye whirred as it scanned the room for anything abnormal. Unfortunately, it found nothing. “No Twilight it’s not fine, this whole situation isn’t fine!” Celestia said angrily. “I personally helped settle the differences between the hippogriffs and the griffins forty years ago; they shouldn’t be at each other’s throats already!” Celestia continued as her eyes glared at nothing. “Tia, you need to calm down. Take deep breaths, think happy thoughts, umm… think about us together.” Twilight said as she tried to calm her marefriend. Celestia began to slowly calm down, and the fire in her eyes went out. “Whatever is doing this, I’m going to find it Twilight. And when I do-” “Stop it. Whatever it is that’s making you do this wants you angry. Being angry makes you stupid Tia.” Twilight said calmly. “You, you… you’re right Twilight…” Celestia told Twilight. Then she closed her eyes and began to slowly breathe in and out, in and out, in and out. After a few moments her face relaxed and she opened her eyes. “Thank you Twilight, what would I be without you, my little pony?” She asked with a slight sigh. “Old, beautiful, and on the open market.” Twilight replied with a smirk. “Or trapped in the sun, take your pick.” She added with a chuckle. “Your confidence in my fighting ability fills me with joy.” Celestia said dryly. “Anytime Tia.” Twilight said before giving her a deep kiss on the lips. “So why don’t we take this conversation in a new direction?” Twilight asked once she’d broken the kiss. “As much as I would love to, and I really would, I’m too busy at the moment. After all, someone has to keep Shining Armor from killing Chrysalis, even if I wouldn’t really mind. Especially after she put me in that cocoon and tried to destroy the city; the last thing that we need right now is a war with the changelings.” Celestia said with a sigh. “Alright then Tia, I guess I should go find Ethan and keep him from getting into trouble.” Twilight said with a roll of her eye. “Good luck my dear.” Celestia said before she kissed Twilight on the cheek and vanished in a flash. “I’ll need it.”