• Member Since 17th Mar, 2012
  • offline last seen Oct 16th, 2016



This story is a sequel to Light Wanderings

Ethan the Wanderer’s main adventure in Equestria may be over but that doesn’t mean that the tale ends there, oh no, it still goes on. These are the stories that were deemed either too inappropriate (not that way, get your minds out of the gutter) to put in the story or that I simply didn’t have time to get to. Needless to say that if you enter into this without having read either Light or Dark Wanderings then you’re going to be confused, but hopefully, it’ll entice you into checking them out. For those of you who have read them I hope you enjoy this romp through Ethan and Sparky’s travels and life. No, I have no idea how long it’s going to be, or how often I’ll update and keep in mind that this is my C story at the moment.

Expect silliness tempered by seriousness.

Oh, and sorry for the lack of good cover art, this was kind of spur of the moment... anyone willing to donate would be awesome

Chapters (24)
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Comments ( 500 )

Oh hormones are a beautiful thing aren't they? Anyways, the bit at the end comes from two things. 1. The aforementioned hormones. 2.The fact that I'd originally planned on pairing Ethan and Twi off until I thought better of it so I decided to have a go at it here in a new setting. No they won't actually 'hook up' but it's a taste of what could have been.

Anyways, I hope you enjoyed it.

My main complaint is the same I said about Equestria girls :

The characters are way too stupid and irrationnal.

Celestia know about the Mirror, why this thing is not broken, warded or left in a pit full of Manticores ?

Where are the guards ? Why there is not a pair of them at the doors of Celestia's bedroom ? Why none of them are patrolling the area between the Mirror and the chamber ?

Why Twilight was unable to stop Shimmer dead in her track with a spell ? You've made her crazy powerfull in the past stories, Shimmer couldn't be able to outrun her at all, and Twilight should be able to snipe her anytime and anywhere.

How Shimmer had been aware of the Element of Magic if it was just a legend in her time, and she couldn't know the appearence of the Element ? Even Twilight didn't have a fucking clue about that. And how did she cast a tracking spell on an item she don't know anything about ?

I'm sure you're writing this story for comedic purpose, but I think you need to adress these issues of Equestria girls, because making characters even stupider than they are in the show is not really going to work good.

Celestia hoped that Sunset would come back. Unfortunately, she did with the intent of stealing something, not to make amends.

There was a patrol. Clearly as they are deep within friendly territory, and the fact that Celestia is a (in this canon) a goddess, physical threats aren't a concern. Hence the lack of guards at her room.

Twilight is half-asleep. That's the best I got.

It appears that this takes place a lot later than it actually does in the movie, which would mean that Sunset could have spent several cycles in the Mirror. Logically, she could have popped out at one point, got the relevant information, and returned. The tracking spell, we can assume traces the magical signature or whatever of the big crown thingy.

Note, this is me pulling shit out of my ass.

Again,WHY not just send in the super heavily armed guy to deal with it?...Sure it might cause a commotion,But so does winged chicks and ones who can use telekinesis (and talking semi-lizard looking dogs)....Over all,Sending in a fully geared ethan would likely cause LESS commotion than little miss magic panties

I can understand not taking the heavy or advanced weapons but why not take at least a knife or small gun, he is at least as skilled as his wife who can sneak a light machine gun into a casino past security, a school should be no problem.
Truth be told I am interested I just hope this story doesn't turn out to be a direct retelling with Ethan just happening to be there.


Look to 3509935 for the answer to most of your questions, he's surprisingly good at pulling stuff out of his ass and somehow matching what I had in mind. Also, I'd like to point out that I'm writing this purly because I thought it would be fun so please excuse anything that upsets you about EQG in general.


Well for one; how often do you see heavily armed men walking around the streets? He'd have the police called on him a matter of minutes for one and then he'd get into a shootout with said police, then they'd call the SWAT team and things would go from there to the National Guard and... well yeah, I already thought about it in my head and I couldn't do it feasibly. Also... I'm American and at the moment the idea of bringing a gun of any kind into a school makes me a bit uncomfortable.

I answered the guns bit above and as for the knife you'll just have to see :trollestia:

And don't worry, we're not going to be retreading all that much.


Glad that at least someone is happy

We think so alike sometimes it's scary.

It's the crazy son of a bitch Ethan. Why wouldn't I be?

You don't know the half of it...

Fallout makes everything better even the travesty sub par thing "Equestria Girls" was, post like the wind you mad genius.

I never truly like EQG, but for some reason, the fanfic's it spawned are fun. This... This is brilliant.


Why thank you, I'm trully happy to hear that :pinkiehappy:

3510478 Im a canadian,And i know that a fallout protag would win that fight

He needs to have brought at least SOME form of weapon from the Wasteland.

Also, this.

I’m a married stud, I’m a married stud, I’m a marrie - oh god her rack is amazing!


I like the idea of Twilight coming back to the wasteland, like a vacation of sorts.

Is Twilight still a cyborg in the other world, because explaining that would be a bitch.:facehoof:

He just said Twi's robot attachments were gone


Yeah, that would be a bit difficult to explain.

"Well my eye is glowing blue because of umm...."

"Radiation," Ethan put in with a nod.

*Cue blank stares from everyone*

I never really read adventure stories. But this seems low-key. And it has Twilestia! :pinkiehappy:

You have my attention.


For some reason neither of my computers can view it in the comments section, send it to me in a pm please

Hey, Ed2461, wanna know something I discovered during a random obscenely thorough research into the universe of Fallout? Turns out psychic powers are canon, which means you could've made Ethan extra OP by allowing him to make fire/electricity/force/light with his mind, idle thoughts of a sleep deprived geek here.

EDIT: Here's the link, which I forgot http://fallout.wikia.com/wiki/Psyker

This was funny. Looking forward to the next parts.
Here's a question, though.
*clears throat*
Assuming Sunset Shimmer was about Twilight's S1 age when she vanished, and Twilight was a filly(Say... Eight?) when she became Princess Celestia's student(With the slot being empty by that time), why is she not an adult and in college at the least?
I called plot hole at first, but my secondary explanation was time dilation.
Okay, so, the Portal opens up once every thirty moons, right? Roughly one lunar cycle to a month, so about two and a half years. Give/take about a month.
How old's Twilight in your story? Twenties? (I think you mentioned it somewhere, but I forgot how old she was, exactly:twilightsheepish:)
Assuming age of twenty, that's a period of twelve years from student rendering age of eight. Roughly five portal openings?
Sunset's been there for at least a year. Maybe two?
Assuming a span of twelve years on the Equestrian side, Sunset only having been there about one year their time(1.25, maybe?) That means the portal opens up either once every 2.4 months, or once per season(3 months).
Assuming an age of twenty-nine, that's a period of twenty-one years. So, eight or nine?
In THIS case, that means it would open between once every 1.5 months and 1.3 months(Assuming one year), or between once every ~1.9 months and 1.6 months.(for 1.25 years)(I think that's what the math says, I did this in my head and didn't double-check on a calculator)

On a side note, assuming these calculations are correct, Celestia could've drastically reduced her waiting time by vacationing in the human world for a while.
Assuming lowest calculation possible, that's 1.3 months for a portal opening, meaning nine portal openings to a year, meaning per human year, 22.5 Equestrian years pass. 1000/22.5 is about 44.5 years.
Meanwhile, assuming highest calculation is accurate, that's 3 months for a portal opening, meaning four portal openings to a year, meaning per human year, 10 Equestrian years pass. 1000/10 = 100 years.

:eeyup:<(TL;DR: Would you say the human world experiences time dilation in relation to Equestria? If so, how much? Also: Math.)

[PS: Sorry for the math+rant. This has been bugging me for a while]

I feel kind of bad making th first comment on this chapter to report an error, but...

her tone nostalgia

I think you mean "nostalgic".
Good... Intro, I guess? I'm looking forward to this.


Well, it's better then me never noticing, thanks :facehoof: :twilightsmile:

I have to say that the only problem I have with this is expected Ethan to pop a pulse grenade as soon as he caught SS to stop her magic. I mean that's what he did all the other times he wanted to stop a unicorn and he did it quite frequently too.


(Blame me for forgetting about that at the time of writing)

Oh my god this is going to hilarious. :pinkiehappy:

YAY!:yay: IT'S HERE!:pinkiehappy:

“So... Tia, you sure this is going to work?” Twilight asked Celestia slowly from where she was positioned curled up against the alicorn who was resting a white wing over her back.
“I believe that Sunset Shimmer will make an appearance, yes,” Celestia replied before giving Twilight a small loving nuzzle.
“And you’re absolutely sure that Ethan needs to be here?” Twilight asked.
“To be honest I am not positive,” Celestia answered with a slight sigh. “Of course, if he needs to be then he will be so it’s better safe then sorry.”


Sunset stopped in mid stride and shot the man a glare, silently thinking. When I return with my army you will be the first to die!

Silly Sunset, you don't kill Ethan Smith/AKA the lone wanderer/AKA Crazy son of a bitch. Silly Sunset
ALL OF MY YES! TAKE IT ALL! I'm so glad that you are continuing on the story of Ethan and Sparky. Keep up the good work, I will be watching from the shadows.:rainbowdetermined2:

Oh yes.... oooooh yeeees....... As much as I loved Equestria Girls, I find these EQG crossovers much more entertaining.... especially this one....


Why thank you, I aim to please.

Besides... she didn’t want that type of trouble springing up on her again... even if he did look eighteen

There needs to be a Quagmire emote for lines like this one.

Oh my god yes! This is exactly how I wanted it to go down:pinkiehappy:, well..:twilightblush:..Actually I wanted there to be more guns, lazers, and explosions, but I'm sure we'll get to that later:rainbowdetermined2:
Keep up the good work, I will be watching from the shadows:rainbowdetermined2:
(Oh, btw, did I ever tell you that I found the copy of your super old Mass Effect crossover that you deleted:pinkiehappy: that I downloaded before you deleted it:pinkiehappy: I just really wish I had been able to download the sequel you were writing:pinkiesad2:)

This...Is..EPIC! So epic(as in the entire story, just thought i'd type it up here since the other two haven't updated(Though i don't remember if they're just completed, i'll have to check) aand double...whatever these are called) that i MIGHT stay out of the shadows for a prolonged period of time.

Oh my god yes! This is exactly how I wanted it to go down, well....Actually I wanted there to be more guns, lazers, and explosions, but I'm sure we'll get to that later

Keep up the good work, I will be watching from the shadows

Glad to hear you're enjoying it :pinkiehappy:

As for the other, nope, sorry. I'd give it to you, but it was deleated a while ago, before I started using Gdocs to save everything

I really wish this was in EQG...BTW loved the humor especially the ending comment. Gold.

'Twas good, I'd like another, otherwise Imma sic my electric nipple clamping tentacle crabs on you, and I really don't want to lose the rent income I get for renting them out to Japanese BDSM clubs.

The only way, that could have been better would be if Twilight had kept her mechanical arm and eye when she went through the portal, THAT would have been hard to explain, or if Eathen had used his 15+ years of wasteland badassery to just walk up and knock out Sunset in a single punch as soon as they saw her on the other side of the portal. and wound up learning that wasteland justice is frowned upon in a world that has not gone to shit. I can see him going to prison for assault and honestly not understanding why this is such a huge deal, and then his wife showing up armed to the teeth with all kinds of insane weapons and a suit of power armor to break him out of prison... and now I want to see the compliance regulator used in this story.

3551088 Not insta-gib, just a knock out, if a decently strong person hits someone in the head with a full force punch while they are not looking, it is likely to result in a unconscious person, at best or possibly killing them at worst. Although in fallout 3 by the time you hit the level cap you are likely be able to reduce someone to bits with a sneak attack crit punch...:twilightoops: THAT would be hard to explain to the authorities. :facehoof: and poor traumatized Fluttershy who would be getting cover by said bits :fluttershyouch:

Plenty of Lolz good sir. Plenty indeed:moustache:

3551690 I played fallout three,Carrying the replant stick with bloody mess,Just so that if i got bored i could do ludicrously large amounts of trauma with a small stick covered in green spray paint

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