Chapter 8
Edited by TacoTown and Furta E
Chapter 8
““Have they been dispatched?” A loud, imperious voice asked.
“Of course.” A haughty voice answered.
“Excellent. Then things are going according to plan.” The first voice said
“What about the creature?” The second voice questioned.
“We will provide a distraction. By the time he realizes what is going on they will have done their jobs.” The first voice said.
“What will you use?” The second voice asked.
“Children.” The first voice answered.
Then both voices burst into raucous laughter as darkness encircled them.
***
“So do they not teach you about knocking where you come from?” Rarity asked as she levitated a cup of coffee over to Ethan, who took it in one hand while he added a bit of whiskey to it with his other. Rarity raised an eyebrow but kept silent; she’d already learned that it was best not to comment on anything that Ethan did. It only led to a sarcastic remark.
“Manners are more flexible where I come from. I figured that if it was after breakfast but before lunch then you probably weren’t entertaining any guests.” Ethan replied with a shrug.
“I suppose that that makes a certain degree of sense.” Rarity consented with a nod. “So, what brings you to my room?” She asked, changing subject.
“Well, I kind of need something to wear.” Ethan said, gesturing at his ruined armor.
“Hmm… that suit you gave me gave me a good idea for what you need. Would you mind if I take your outfit and incorporate it into my design?” Rarity asked.
“Sure, beats throwing it away.” Ethan replied with a smile as he slipped out of his armor and passed it to Rarity.
Rarity was momentarily dumbstruck when she saw the huge variety of scars that covered Ethan’s chest. Large scars, small scars, scars that had all but disappeared and were nothing but thin right traces across his skin. Among them she spotted several large spots of newly formed skin that were placed at random intervals over both his chest and his shoulders, as if something had been imbedded in his skin and then torn out again. Once again Rarity decided to ignore it and move on and instead she focused on the armor.
“This design is intriguing. It’s simple yet functional, and I can’t find a single flaw in its overall construction. Honestly, if it was in a better color for you I’d say that it matches you perfectly.” Rarity told him with a critical eye as she examined the garment. “Hmm… not only can I see several ways to add to this, I can also see how to make some very marked improvements.” She added as she noticed several places where she would’ve done things differently.
“Great, thanks. That’s awesome. I’ve heard good things about you by the way.” Ethan told her as he took another sip of his coffee.
“You have?” Rarity asked in surprise.
“Yeah. Did you know that apparently you’re the one who Sparky would want next to her in a fight?” Ethan asked her and Rarity shook her head in surprise.
“Why would she say that? I’m certainly not the strongest of our little group.” Rarity asked as she began to magically break down Ethan’s riot gear in a swirling ball of magic.
“She said that you were one of the calmest when things were serious; she also said something about military school.” Ethan offered with a shrug as he watched his riot gear slowly reveal its individual parts.
“Oh… Well, that makes sense I suppose. I really do prefer not to talk about my time at that academy, but I will admit that the training has helped me many times.” Rarity said as she focused on her work. At this point she’d retrieved several materials from a nearby trunk, and they began to weave in and out of the now large ball of magic.
“So, what exactly are you doing?” Ethan asked as he eyed the glowing ball skeptically.
“I’m analyzing each piece, while at the same time reworking them into a better design.” Rarity stated in a professional tone.
“How long do you think this is going to take?” Ethan asked, but Rarity shrugged without looking up from her work.
“One cannot rush perfection, darling, although I should be able to finish it by dinnertime.” Rarity replied offhandedly, or was it offhoofedly? Ethan had no idea.
“Alright then, I guess I’ll just walk around without a shirt on.” Ethan told her with a shrug as he headed towards the door.
“That’s nice.” Rarity muttered before getting back to her examination of the clothing materials. For all intents and purposes, she was in the zone.
Ethan left the room whistling the tune to Blue Moon, mostly because he hadn’t been back to the Capital Wasteland for several months. The Brotherhood had kept him updated and nothing seemed to be blowing up, at least no more than normal, so Ethan would be bored anyways. Not to mention that he’d been avoiding it ever sin- Ethan’s train of thought was interrupted as Pinkie Pie slammed into him face first.
“Hia!” The pink pony said excitedly.
“Hia yourself.” Ethan said with a chuckle as he removed her from his face. “So what brings you to this lovely hallway?” Ethan asked as he set the pink pony on the ground.
“Oh, this and that. And the other. And some of those, oh and I can’t forget about all of them.” Pinkie said with a grin as she pointed above her.
“So, angels or birds…” Ethan said, trailing off.
“Ha! No, of course not! Why would I bother waving to birds? All they do is complain, and I’m pretty sure that Equestria doesn’t have angels, although I’ve always wanted to meet Crowley so I kinda wish it did.” Pinkie replied with a grin, a giggle, and a wink.
“Has anyone ever told you that you’re remarkable?” Ethan asked as he looked down at her.
“Probably, want to go pranking?” Pinkie asked with a grin.
“Pranking… I have no idea what that is but I have the oddest feeling that I’ll like it.” Ethan told Pinkie with a wide grin.
***
Brighteyes, senior Lunar Guard and honored sergeant was in a great mood. Then again, after the night that he’d had that wasn’t very surprising… Anyways, he was going about his everyday duties, patrolling the castle grounds and looking handsome, when suddenly he heard the sound of high pitched laughter along with a much deeper one. Pinkie rounded the corner with Ethan following close behind; both were laughing madly as the sound of a very angry stallion’s voice echoed behind them. Also, Ethan was shirtless at the moment for some reason… and to Brighteyes’s considerable surprise his upper body was covered with enough scars to make a griffin swoon.
“Get back here, you infernal demons!”
Brighteyes’s eyebrows rose in surprise. That voice belonged to none other than Captain Corn, a mid-level Solar Guard member. Ethan and Pinkie rushed past Brighteyes, and he could’ve sworn that Ethan winked at him as he passed. Captain Corn rounded the corner at just as fast of a pace, but for some reason he wouldn’t stop twitching. Then, Captain Corn ground to a halt and stood still, panting as his leg reflexively scratched the back of his neck like a dog.
“I’m going to get you for this!” Corn shouted as he stopped scratching.
“What did they do?” Brighteyes asked inquisitively. Corn jumped. Apparently he hadn’t seen Brighteyes during his frenzied scratching.
“That pink… moron and the tall idiot put high strength itching powder in my armor!” Captain Corn said in aggravation as he began to scratch his neck frantically, his eyes glazed over slightly and Brighteyes felt a wave of sympathy for the Solar Guard member.
“Look, I’ll get them to stop. Why don’t you take a shower and get that stuff out of your coat?” Brighteyes told Captain Corn, who nodded thankfully to him.
“Thanks, Bright, remind me that I owe you a drink later. Give them hell!” Corn replied before he walked towards the Solar Guard corridors, pausing every few seconds to scratch himself frantically with either his rear hoof or against the wall. Brighteyes sighed and set off after Ethan and Pinkie Pie.
He found the pranking collaborators, giggling as they expectantly watched Prince Blueblood as he walked around the great hall, verbally abusing several of the maids who were apparently not up to snuff. Blueblood was wearing his blue park stroller’s coat, and he was apparently waiting to use the royal gardens. The fact that Ethan and Pinkie were giggling gave Brighteyes the oddest feeling. It was as if he was reading a book, and the main characters were about to have something horrible happen to them. Brighteyes could see that it was about to happen, yet no matter what he did it would happen anyways. This feeling was confirmed a few seconds later as Blueblood vanished in a large flash of light, along with an eardrum bursting bang. Ethan and Pinkie broke into raucous laughter as the maids looked around in confusion while Blueblood lay on the ground, cowering in fear.
“God, I love flashbangs.” Ethan said with a final chuckle as he whipped a tear from his eye and took a sip of whiskey.
“What… what was that?” Brighteyes asked from behind them.
“A flashbang.” Ethan replied without turning around.
“And… what exactly does a flashbang do?” Brighteyes asked as Blueblood staggered to his hooves, flailing hilariously and causing the guard to chuckle internally.
“It makes a lot of light and a lot of noise in order to disorient a foe, other than that it’s completely safe.” Ethan replied as Blueblood spotted them. The Prince’s eyes narrowed in anger as he caught sight of the three standing there, two of whom were laughing and one Lunar Guard who wasn’t so much as even attempting to apprehend them.
“I’ll have both of you hung for this!” Blueblood shouted, and then staggered as the sound of his own voice hit him like a ton of bricks.
“We may want to leave.” Ethan suggested with a chuckle.
“To the Pinkie Mobile!” Pinkie shouted and both she and Ethan ran away laughing like maniacs.
“Guard, why didn’t you stop them?” Blueblood seethed as he came to stand unsteadily in front of Brighteyes.
“Well, sir, have you looked outside?” Brighteyes asked, nodding towards the sun.
“Yes, it’s a beautiful day. What of it?” Blueblood asked in irritation.
“Well sir, as you can see thanks to my wings and my eyes I am obviously a member of the Lunar Guard. Thus, unless there is an emergency I am off duty.” Brighteyes replied as tried to keep his cool. None of the palace may have liked him, but Blueblood was still a prince, even if he acted nothing like one was supposed to.
“This is an emergency, I was just assaulted!” Blueblood said through clenched teeth.
“Should I get you a Doctor then?” Brighteyes asked innocently. Most of the Solar Guard wouldn’t have had the balls to talk to the prince like that, but thanks to Luna’s utter contempt for the prince the Lunar Guard didn’t have to watch themselves as closely.
“NO! What I want is for you to catch those two so that I may hang them!” Blueblood all but shouted.
“That might be difficult for you sir, one of them is a bearer of an Element of Harmony and the other one is reported to be unkillable.” Brighteyes replied, all the while keeping his face an expressionless mask.
“If you do not help me I’ll report you to your mistress!” Blueblood said angrily.
“I would advise against that, she’s meeting with a guest at the moment.” Brighteyes replied.
“Confound you Lunar Guardsmen; the world was so much simpler before Auntie Luna returned.” Blueblood said angrily.
“Are you insulting my lady?” Brighteyes asked as his eyes glinted slightly in the light and hardened into thin draconic slits. Blueblood made a slightly strangled sound and he quickly backed away.
“No, not at all, I wouldn’t dream of it!” The Prince said as a note of apprehension filled his voice.
“Good.” Brighteyes replied with a thin grin that revealed his sharp draconic teeth. Blueblood fled the area without further comment, and Brighteyes turned back to the prospect of chasing down Ethan and stopping the pranking horrors that would soon befall the innocent ponies of the Canterlot Palace if he didn’t.
***
Pinkie and Ethan stared at each other, each tense waiting for the other to make the first move. Suddenly, Pinkie’s hoof shot to the side and emerged holding a water gun loaded with icing. Ethan dove to the side as a stream of the deadly confectionary passed above his head and impacted on the tree directly behind him. As Ethan’s dive ended he came up with a pair of cupcakes in his hands. Without thinking about it he threw one straight at Pinkie’s head, but she simply swallowed it with a large grin on her face. Ethan’s brow creased in concentration and he took another swig of whiskey to calm himself. Then, with a giant grin Ethan reached into the hollow of a nearby tree and when he withdrew his hand he found that there was a water gun that was much bigger than Pinkie’s resting in it.
“Oh frosting.” Pinkie cursed as a jet of high energy frosting slathered itself over the front of her body, completely obscuring it from view. Then, her long pink tongue popped out of her mouth and in one large circular slurp grabbed all of the frosting and then returned to her mouth as she gave Ethan a wide, frosting filled smile. Ethan shook his head in amazement and chuckled at the sight.
“I bet that you’re really popular with the mares, aren’t you?” Ethan asked
“Meh, not my type. I prefer stallions.” Pinkie replied with a grin.
“Finally! I was beginning to think that all of Sparky’s friends were lesbians.” Ethan told her with a chuckle.
“Well Applejack goes both ways and Rarity prefers stallions, or at least I think she does. As for Fluttershy I have no idea.” Pinkie said, giving Ethan a shrug.
“Did somepony say my name?” A quiet voice off to the right asked. Ethan turned to see the yellow pegasus approaching, a flock of birds had decided to take up residence in her mane and a black furred squirrel sat on her back.
“We were just talking about how most of Twilight’s friends are lesbians.” Pinkie replied with a mischievous grin that caused Fluttershy to suddenly become very interested in the ground as a deep red blush washed over her face.
“Oh my…” She said softly.
“Yeah, and I was just telling Ethan that I’m not sure which you prefer.” Pinkie added with a grin as her eyebrows moved up and down suggestively.
“Oh, umm, I’d rather not talk about it.” Fluttershy said very quietly, she almost seemed to sink into the ground a little with each word.
“That’s fine; honestly I’m not that interested in the sex life of Sparky’s friends.” Ethan said with a shrug. Fluttershy turned to Ethan for the first time and suddenly gasped in horror at his chest.
“What… what happened to you?” She asked as she rushed forward and began to look over the man’s scars with growing apprehension.
“Bullets, blades, and one really mean badger.” Ethan replied with a grin as he sat down to provide her an easier view.
“These… these are horrible! How did you possibly get this one?!” Fluttershy said while her hoof gently ran her hoof across a really long, old scar that ran across most of Ethan’s chest.
“Hmm… let me think.” Ethan said as he pulled out his whiskey flask from his pants pocket and took a sip. “Oh right, that’s from a few days after I got out of the Vault. I was making my way down to this big town called Rivet City and I got caught in a raider ambush. I got my ass kicked pretty bad, but I managed to kill all but one of them. Wouldn’t you know it the bastard drops down on me from the upper story of the destroyed building that we were fighting in? The bastard had a knife and he sliced right into me before I managed to kill him. Hell, I almost bled out before I could use my stimpack.” Ethan replied with a grimace as he thought about the encounter.
“I’m so sorry for you.” Fluttershy said as he hoof moved to a different scar, this one was more recent. It was also one of the ones that had caught Rarity’s attention as well. “What about this one?” She asked while she lightly tapped the patch of fresh skin that was growing.
“That one’s not important.” Ethan said coldly enough to make Fluttershy flinch slightly. “Sorry, I’d just prefer not to talk about that one.” Ethan added with an apologetic frown as he reached for his flask again.
“Oh no, it’s my fault. I shouldn’t have asked.” Fluttershy said timidly as she hid her face behind her long, pink mane.
“How would you’ve known?” Ethan asked with a shrug. “Other than those I’ll tell you how I got any of them.” Ethan added with a wink. Pinkie sensed that her screen time was almost up, so she left the two in the garden alone and began to plot her next prank, this time with flashbangs made out of cupcakes!
Fluttershy sat down next Ethan as he leaned against a tree and began to listen to him recount his tales of the Capital Wasteland. After around twenty minutes, they’d both fallen asleep in the grass of the garden.
***
“So why did you call me here?” Chrysalis asked Luna as she looked at the dark alicorn from across the tea table.
“Because I wanted to make sure that we have an understanding.” Luna said coldly.
“And what understanding would that be?” Chrysalis asked, narrowing her eyes.
“The one that says that if you get involved in any of our wars or use them to your advantage then I have the right to crush your chitin coated head between my forehooves.” Luna replied simply.
“You asked me to come all the way here just to threaten me?” Chrysalis asked in annoyance.
“Well there’s that, and I’m interested in your species’ breeding habits.” Luna replied with a shrug.
“Are you coming on to me?” Chrysalis asked, but Luna simply shook her head.
“I don’t do bugs; all I want is some notes about the process, for science.” Luna added with another shrug.
“Do you not have enough information on us in the archives?” Chrysalis asked.
“Well, yes. We do have an extensive amount on changelings, but none on their reproduction methods. As ruler of the night I take a great deal of personal pride in knowing about sex in all of its forms, so I thought that you’d be the best person to ask.” Luna told her.
“Should I demonstrate?” Chrysalis asked with a sly smile.
“No, that’s alright. Like I said I just need you to describe the process.” Luna replied as she grabbed a piece of paper and a pencil in her magical grip, and floated it over to the table. “Now, why don’t you start at…”
***
Blueblood stormed into Luna’s room with the full intent to talk to her about that infuriating guard from earlier. What he saw when he entered the room shocked him. There, sitting in a chair drinking tea, was Queen Chrysalis; sitting across from the Changeling Queen with an intrigued look on her face was Princess Luna. The Lunar Princess was rapidly taking notes while Chrysalis talked.
“…And then I take his sperm inside my body and combine it with the eggs…” Chrysalis continued talking, but it was drowned out by Blueblood’s screams.
“MY EARS!” Blueblood cried out in pain as he held the offending appendages with his hooves.
“What do you want Blueblood?” Luna snapped, quite annoyed at the interruption of her lesson.
“What were you talking about?!” Blueblood all but screamed.
“Changeling sexual reproductive practices.” Chrysalis with a shrug.
“Why?” Blueblood asked, aghast.
“Because I’m interested in it, and where did you get this idea that you can question me about anything you want? I don’t ask you pointless, inane questions about your interests, do I?” Luna asked as her annoyance with the Prince grew.
“No, Auntie…” Blueblood sighed as he lowered his head submissively.
“You’re damned right I don’t, now what did you want?” Luna demanded angrily.
“I was going to ask you to correct the attitude of one of your guards, a Sergeant Brighteyes.” Blueblood said, regaining his normal arrogance.
“What did Brighteyes do?” Luna asked, slightly surprised. Out of all of her guards she wouldn’t have guessed that it was Brighteyes that would’ve attracted Blueblood’s ire.
“He was thoroughly disrespectful to me when I asked him to help apprehend two troublesome pranksters.” Blueblood replied, his voice literally overflowing with indignant outrage.
“And who would those two pranksters be?” Luna inquired.
“The Element of Laughter and that despicable biped Ethan.” Blueblood answered with an incredibly vexed expression on his face.
“You wanted him to catch Pinkie Pie… You do realize that that’s a task better suited to gods than guards, don’t you?” Luna asked, narrowing her eyes as Blueblood shifted uncomfortably under her gaze.
“Well, he didn’t have to be so disrespectful about it!” Blueblood said as he glared at his aunt.
“Are you glaring at me, Blueblood?” Luna asked with an arched eyebrow.
“No, Auntie.” Blueblood said through gritted teeth as he aimed his scowl towards the ground.
“He seems to have taken a great deal of dislike for your floor, I would suggest that he leave before that glare becomes permanent.” Chrysalis said with a quiet chuckle.
“An excellent suggestion, Chrysalis. Run along Blueblood, go annoy Celly with your inane problems.” Luna said before she turned back to Chrysalis. “So, you were getting to the part where…” Blueblood sprinted out of the chamber, utilizing more speed than Luna had seen him ever use before.
“Oh yes. Then we have mind melting sex, and he dies as I bite…”
***
“What the hay is going on here?” Applejack asked as she came upon Ethan and Fluttershy asleep next to each other, leaning against an oak tree. The yellow pegasus was lying beside the man with her back turned into his legs, and Ethan was snoring gently while his head lulled against the tree trunk. “Well ah guess that they’re not hurting nothin, it’s just that this is an odd place ta take a nap.” Applejack said with a shrug.
That’s when her eyes processed the incredibly large number of scars that had accumulated on Ethan’s chest. A cold shiver passed up her spine and she was about to wake Fluttershy up and run as far away from Ethan as fast possible, but Ethan interrupted her.
“Mmmmm… go away… mumble.” Ethan told her while half asleep.
“What was that sugar cube?” AJ asked with a large smile.
“Go mumble away mumble or mumble I’ll mumble kick mumble you mumble into mumble a mumble tree.” Ethan replied while keeping his eyes completely closed.
“Ya do realize that saying the word mumble isn’t the same thing as bein’ half asleep, right?” AJ asked.
“Mumble bitch mumble…” Ethan replied as a small smile graced his lips.
“Ah really ought ta buck ya in the face.” AJ told him.
“Mumble go mumble ahead mumble and mumble try.” Ethan replied. AJ got a large smile on her face. Honestly, she’d been waiting to kick the varmint ever since he’d gotten to Equestria, and she wanted to make up for lost time.
She reared forward and then shoved her rear hooves out rapidly, trying to take Ethan directly in the face. Instead, her hooves met only the hard oak tree trunk. Ethan had ducked, or more accurately slouched, slightly to the side, and instead she’d kicked the tree trunk hard.
“Mumble want mumble to mumble go mumble again mumble mumble?” Ethan asked with a wider grin spreading over his still mostly serene looking face.
“Na, the way ah see it you’re tryin ta make me do somethin stupid.” AJ replied with a shrug. Ethan’s eyes opened slightly and he gave her a real, non-mocking smile.
“You realize that I was just testing you, right?” Ethan asked, and Applejack shrugged.
“Ma brother does it ta me to sometimes. It’s downright infuriatin, but ah guess ah can respect it.” Applejack said with a tired sigh.
“That’s the spirit. Oh, she’s waking up.” Ethan said as Fluttershy began to stir next to him. She slowly opened her eyes and looked around herself in surprise.
“Did we fall asleep?” Fluttershy asked as she woke up fully.
“Yeah, ah found the two of ya here catchin’ some zs.” Applejack answered with a shrug.
“Thanks for the company Fluttershy, but if you don’t mind I’m getting hungry.” Ethan told the yellow pegasus, who nodded.
“That makes sense. It’s been a few hours since breakfast and I’m sure that someone as big as you must use a lot of calories.” Fluttershy replied with a small smile. “I’m going to stay here with the animals for a little while longer, if that’s okay.” Fluttershy said.
“Of course, sugarcube, ah’ll come and get ya for dinner if you’re not back on time.” Applejack told her with a smile. “Mind if ah come to the dining room with ya? I’m feelin mighty hungry.” Applejack asked Ethan, who shrugged.
“The more the merrier.” Ethan replied with a slight grin.
“So…What do you think of Equestria so far, Ethan?” Applejack asked after several moments of uneasy silence.
“Your people are naïve, your soldiers, or at least what I’ve seen of them so far, are inexperienced, and you’re surrounded by extremely competent enemies. Honestly, I’m surprised any of you are still alive.” Ethan told her before taking a sip of whiskey.
“Now that ain’t fair.” Applejack said giving Ethan a frown. “Judgin’ from what Twi has told us the place ya come from is extremely violent. Of course our guards don’t impress ya.”
“Well you could use that excuse, except of course when you count the fact that you’re neighbored by two species that appear to be dangerous predators. Added to that is the fact that you’re capital city was attacked last year and the only reason that your country wasn’t taken over was through the power of a deus ex machina.” Ethan retorted with a shrug.
“Dues ex what now?” Applejack asked.
“God given miracle.” Ethan answered.
“Well what ya keep on forgettin’ is that the princesses can protect us.” Applejack told Ethan crossly.
“I’m not impressed with Sparky’s fuckbuddy, and I haven’t spent enough time with Luna to know anything about her besides the fact that she has good tastes in guards and whiskey. But even if they’re both extremely powerful they can’t be everywhere at once.” Ethan replied. “Hell, they’ve even been defeated before, right?” He asked.
“That’s not-”
“Fair? What part of life is?” Ethan asked, cutting her off. “Now don’t get me wrong, I really like it here. It’s much better than almost anywhere in the wasteland. I’m just saying that there are some parts, particularly defense, that need to be improved.” Ethan added with a half sigh before he took another sip of his whiskey.
“Ah wish that ya had a nicer way ta say that.” Applejack told him with a slight scowl.
“Hey, I’m just being honest.” Ethan replied.
“Ah know, and that’s what’s worryin me.” Applejack said.
“What do you mean?” Ethan asked.
“Well ah’m the Element of Honesty, that means that ah can pretty much tell whether or not you’re lyin. It’s not perfect, and it doesn’t work with everyone, but ah can usually tell.” Applejack answered.
“Hmm… I had sex with my wife for the first time on a bloody mattress covered with raider entrails.” Ethan told her with a wide grin.
“Ah’m going ta pretend ah didn’t hear that…” Applejack said as her face turned green.
“Oh, this is going to be fun!”
Stats
Page generated in 0.024 seconds
Total duration
1,003 users online
265,676 hits today, 2,004,447 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
hey guys Derrem made some fan art
Funny stuff!
Those badger can be vicious!
Adorable!
And Fluttershy falling asleep with Ethan?
Can't wait for shit to hit the fan.
damn Ethan lol
love the supernatural reference.
I can't believe that man sometimes. Then I remembered who he is.
Oh Blueblood, you little prick. Why can't you be more like Blueblood in "The Colour You Bleed"?
This chapter was worth the wait, I love everything in this! BRING MORE PAIN TO THE ROYAL JACKASS!
I have been hopeing for more interaction between Eathen and the mane six for a while now and this chapter delivers exactly what I wanted to see
also Eathen and Pinky working together is the stuff of nightmares, no one is safe from the pranking
oh noes', fluttery 'slept' with Ethan, and she doesn't like stallions or mare's apparently. Bum bum bummmm!
(side note, she could just be asexual with her wanting to be a tree and all.)
Where was this badger. If it's in the game I don't remember it.
1610210
It was a joke
1610224 There should totally be a mod for that though. Just saying.
1610287
the crazy attack badger mod... guaranteed to give you character the scars hes always wanted XD
Goddamn it you've ruined everything!
1610224
images1.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20100802022516/masseffect/images/c/cc/EDI_Character_Box.png
I thought there were badgers? I distintly remember them being in Old Olney and in that quarry by Sloan. Viscous little buggers.
1610701
Deathclaws aren't badgers. They are mutated chameleons.
i think concussion grenades would make better cupcake filling then flashbangs.
no editing mistakes for once! now i can focus on getting th' barbecue sauce out of my eye!
1611840
And the next chapter
I am on a roll with this fanart crap.
1612136
Oh my god yes
Firstly: Deus ex Machina. You switched the 'e' and 'u'.
Secondly: It doesn't mean "God given miracle." It means "A god from a machine" so unless Cadance is a robot, I don't think it really applies here.
As for the actual story: Love it! Keep up the good work.
1612319
Ah, you're right about the spelling
but as for thedefinition I was referencing this
1610287 I believe there is a mod that adds badgers.
NANANANANANANANANANANANANA! Pinkie!
Here, have some more fanart.
I read the last line is Sheogorath's voice... ah, good times.
I... don't want to know.
...
Okay, so I do, but I'm thankful I won't find out.
1702283 I'm so excited that could pluck out your eyes and strangle ya'll with them
2943692 She bit the dick man she bit the motherfucking dick. It's the only reason he would break off biting the neck wouldn't need the censoring no he bit the dick. That much pain isn't worth mind blowing sex ever.
Oh, this is going to be fun!” poor Applejack
What, really? Well, it's his funeral.
……………. “Cunt”
Ok then…. ”dose anyone have brain bleach, no? Well shit
11731816
Hah. Nah, that one is "in machina"