//------------------------------// // Chapter 2 // Story: Light Wanderings // by ed2481 //------------------------------// Edited by TacoTown and Furta E Chapter two “Ethan, what, I… I should’ve seen this coming, shouldn’t I?” Twilight asked with a sigh and a facehoof. “Yep,” Ethan replied with a grin as he looked around the room with interest. “So this is your home, huh?” He asked with a smile. “No, this is the Royal Palace, where Princess Celestia lives.” Twilight told him. “Well, Sparky; you really know how to pick a fuckbuddy, I’ll give you that.” Ethan said with a chuckle. This drew several surprised gasps from the other ponies in the room. They may have been used to Twilight’s cursing, but she’d never described Celestia so casually (or offensively, for that matter). “Thanks, Ethan. So how’re things at home?” Twilight asked casually, much to the surprise of her friends. “The settlements in the Capital Wasteland are expanding, the Brotherhood is enlarging, and Cassie is running Vegas while raising the twins with me.” Ethan told her with a happy smile. “Twins… wait… You had twins?!” Twilight asked excitedly before launching herself at Ethan, who caught her in a hug. “Yep; a boy and a girl.” Ethan said before setting her on the floor again. “Congratulations Ethan! Wait… that means that you’re a father…” Twilight said, trailing off and giving Ethan a serious look. “Ethan, tell please me that you didn’t come here to get out of being a father!” “Well I can’t lie about that being in the back of my mind, but it wasn’t my primary motivation. Besides, the first few months don’t really matter that much anyways; or at least among humans.” Ethan replied with a shrug. “So are you going to introduce me to your friends or are we just going to keep on awkwardly ignoring them?” He added with a glance towards the other five ponies in the room that were looking at Ethan with a variety of expressions ranging from excitement (Dash and Pinkie) to fear and disgust (Fluttershy and Rarity). “Oh, right. Ethan this is Rainbow Dash, Rarity, Fluttershy, Applejack, and Pinkie Pie.” Twilight said while gesturing at each one of them in turn. “Hi, I’m Ethan.” Ethan said with a grin as he offered his hand to the ponies. “You’re so cool! I mean, look at that awesome armor!” Rainbow Dash said as she flew into his face. “Thanks, I try my best.” Ethan replied with a smile. “I’m Rainbow Dash, the fastest mare in Equestria!” Rainbow said as she offered Ethan her hoof to shake. “Not something I’d brag about if I were you; but if you’re that comfortable with it then go ahead.” Ethan replied with a grin. “What…?” Dash asked as her face suddenly became clouded with confusion. “Wait for it…” Ethan told Twilight with a wink. “Hey, what’s that supposed to mean?!” Dash shouted as she got the joke at her expense. “So, Sparky,” He began, “You asked me to bring a suit?” Ethan asked, turning back to Twilight while Dash buzzed around his head angrily. “Yes, it’ll make it easier for Rarity to make you a suit if she has something that fits you already.” Twilight replied. “Hey! Stop ignoring me!” Dash told Ethan angrily before kicking him in the back of the head. “Cool, here you go.” Ethan said as he tossed a black garment at Twilight, who caught it in her magic before sending it Rarity’s way. “I’d prefer there to be some room for armored plates because I like to be protected when I’m eating with high-class asshats, but if not then that’s fine too.” Ethan added with a nod towards the white unicorn who was distracted by the fabric in front of her. “This design is interesting; at first glance it appears to be made of silk, but then if you explore it further it become obvious that it isn’t- Are these blood stains?!” She suddenly cried, throwing the suit away in surprise. “Yeah, probably. Hmm… Oh right, that. Party at the Tops got ugly…” Ethan said, trailing off with a sigh. “Oh well, what’re you gonna do when someone tries to kill your wife?” Rarity’s eye was twitching and Fluttershy was cowering against the side of the couch. “So ya killed someone tryin to kill your wife?” Applejack asked. “Yep. Not that I really needed to, but she was pregnant at the time and I was feeling protective.” Ethan replied with a shrug as he ignored another one of Dash’s kicks. “You’re tellin’ me that somepony would attack a pregnant mare where you live?” Applejack asked in astonishment. “Yeah, why not?” Ethan asked. “Because, that just ain’t right!” She replied, outraged. “Tell that to the Wasteland, not me.” Ethan told her with a sad sigh. “Well consarnit, that place needs a good buck in the rear. Ah’m Applejack by the way.” She added. “Nice to meet you, and thanks for the offer; but I doubt that kicking it would do much to the Wasteland.” Ethan told her with a shrug. “Hi, I’m Pinkie Pie!” Pinkie said as she suddenly appeared on Ethan’s shoulder. “Should I ask how you did that, or would I just hurt myself?” Ethan asked her. “A little of Column Gamma, a little of Column 42.” Pinkie replied with a grin. “Oh I like her.” Ethan told Twilight as he reached into his armored duster pocket and pulled out a snack cake packet before he handed it to the pony currently defying several laws of space. “Sorry if they’re not as good as the stuff around here, they’re two hundred years old.” Ethan told her apologetically, but Pinkie just shrugged and popped one into her mouth with a grin. “Wow, now I see why Boo likes these.” Pinkie said with a smile once she’d swallowed the cake. “I’m glad you like them.” Ethan told her with a matching smile. “Fluttershy, would you like to meet Ethan?” Twilight asked, turning to her yellow friend. “Maybe.” She said quietly while she hid behind her pink mane. An unfamiliar look crossed Ethan’s face and he slowly extended his hand towards Fluttershy, who shrank back slightly. But Ethan made vague comforting noises, and she slowly peeked out from behind her mane. With a small grin, Ethan’s fingers stretched out and slowly began to stroke Fluttershy’s head. “I’m sorry if I scared you.” He told her quietly as he continued to stroke. Twilight and the rest watched in surprise as Fluttershy began to slowly relax under the man’s ministrations. “Where I come from things aren’t all that nice, so I have to be a little mean.” He added. “That’s okay, you kind of remind me of a wolf.” Fluttershy replied as she moved towards where Ethan had sat down on the floor in front of the couch. “Thanks, I’ve always liked wolves.” Ethan replied with a grin. “That feels wonderful, by the way.” Fluttershy added. “Ethan, why are you treating her like a dog?” Twilight asked, immediately ruining the touching moment. Fluttershy blushed and scooted away from him, and Ethan shot Twilight an annoyed look. “Because that’s the way you deal with scared animals, Sparky; and no offense, but to me you’re all animals so I went with what I knew.” Ethan replied, still keeping his voice low and controlled. “I didn’t mind, it was the way I would’ve done it if he couldn’t speak our language and I’d found him hurt.” Fluttershy said before it could create an argument. “If you say so, Fluttershy.” Twilight said before turning back to Ethan. “Alright Ethan, follow me and try not to scare any of the castle staff too much; also, don’t bring a gun out near Celestia. She knows what they are and would probably react about as well to an unknown creature barging into her room with a gun as you would.” Twilight told him as they began to make their way down the corridor. “What about your friends?” Ethan asked. “Oh they’ll find something to do with themselves, right, girls?” Twilight called over her shoulder. “We’ll be fine sugar cube; you focus on gettin’ him to Celestia without any deaths.” Applejack called back. “Geez Twilight, I’m not a remorseless killing machine.” Ethan said, sounding hurt. “You are by Equestrian standards.” Twilight replied with a shrug. “Aren’t you one too, then?” Ethan countered. “Yes, please don’t remind me.” Twilight answered with a hint of venom. “Oh god, please tell me that you haven’t gone soft on me, Sparky.” Ethan said with a chuckle. Before he realized what had happened Ethan was glued to the ceiling by a powerful magnetic field. “Ethan, let me put this very simply. I may be quite capable of killing; hell, I may even enjoy a small part of it if the ones that I’m killing deserve it. But I do not like being reminded of it!” Twilight told him. Her voice had never gotten above room level, but there was an implacable hardness to it that would’ve sent shivers of fear up the spine of a normal pony (or human). Ethan being Ethan, he simply reached into his pocket withdrew a pulse grenade and before Twilight could do anything he pulled the pin. The burst of static knocked out Twilight’s TK and Ethan landed gently on his feet. “I’ll keep that in mind, Sparky. He replied, “Now, why don’t we make our way to meet your fuckbuddy?” Ethan asked her with a wide smile. “Gah, I should’ve known better then to try that.” Twilight said with a shake of her head. “I’ll give you an A for effort.” Ethan told her with a chuckle. “I actually missed you; I wonder if I should start going to therapy…” Twilight said, trailing off. “Don’t worry, Sparky, it’s just my raw animal magnetism.” Ethan told her with a grin. “Goddess…” “Yes, Twilight?” Luna asked as she suddenly emerged from a nearby room. Then her eyes widened as she saw Ethan wearing his imposing riot gear. Then they narrowed and she slowly began to do a full body scan of the man in front of her. Her gaze stopped a few times as she investigated several interesting aspects of the outfit, along with the large duffle bag that he was carrying over one shoulder. Then she grinned and offered him her hoof. Ethan looked right into the eyes of the Princess who’s eyes were on the same level as his own (she’d done a little growing lately and was almost Celestia’s height again). What he saw there gave him pause. Her eyes twinkled with mischievousness, but Ethan could tell that that was covering up a much deeper wound, a great pain that he’d encountered occasionally out in the Wastes. It was the same look that Cassandra got when she thought about what she’d done to the Divide. Ethan made a mental note to ask about it, if for no other reason than the fact that people who’ve experienced that kind of pain are always looking for someone to talk to about it. Whether they know it or not. “Hello, I’m Princess Luna, and you must be Ethan.” She said casually. Ethan shook his head quickly to get rid of the errant thoughts before replying. “Indeed I am, dear lady.” Ethan said with a bow as he gave her extended hoof a quick kiss. “And Twilight here said that you had no manners. Shame on you, Twilight, he seems like a perfectly respectable person.” Luna chided; Twilight’s jaw still hadn’t made its way back from the floor so she was unable to say anything in response. “I may be rather uncouth under most circumstances, but I’ve read enough books to know the proper way to address a princess.” Ethan replied with a grin. “It is much appreciated to find someone who will give me the courtesy without sounding like an ass kissing moron.” Luna told him frankly, dropping the decorum. “My pleasure, Luna; if I may call you Luna?” Ethan asked. “Of course, I’d prefer it honestly.” Luna told him with a chuckle. “Well then it’s an honor to meet you Luna. We were just on our way to meet Twilight’s fuckbuddy, would you happen to know where she is?” Ethan asked, causing Twilight to gasp in shock; she didn’t think that Ethan would actually say something like that in front of either princess. Luna however just grinned at the description. “I just finished a session of negotiations with the griffin ambassadors, so unfortunately I have no way of knowing. I’d try her room.” Luna replied with a grin. “Aright then, I assume that that’s where Twilight was leading us.” Ethan told her with a smile. “Well, it was nice to meet you, Ethan. I have business to attend to, now, but I wouldn’t mind it if you came to talk to me later if you have any questions that Twilight can’t answer. Anyways, I must go. Come on, Bluestreak.” Luna told the stallion that had followed her without being previously noticed by either Twilight or Ethan. They set off down the hall in the opposite direction from where Twilight and Ethan were heading. “How did you do that?” Twilight asked once Luna was out of earshot. “Twilight, do you really think I could’ve gotten a woman like Cassandra anywhere near me if I didn’t know how to act like a gentleman?” Ethan asked her with a chuckle. “Now, let’s go see your fuckbuddy.” “Please, just don’t call her that.” Twilight said with a sigh. “But, Sparky, it’s a good way to describe it! You’re both in love, right?” He asked and received a nod. “And I’m guessing that you’re not getting married right?” Another nod. “So you can’t tell me that you’re going to become too serious, right?” A third nod. “Alright then, in other words, you’re people who see each other and care about each other but aren’t seriously committed to each other enough to get married. Thus the proper term would be, fuckbuddy. It isn’t an insult; it’s just the word that we use to describe a situation such as this.” Ethan said with a grin. “Ethan, that’s what a marefriend is.” Twilight said rolling her eyes. “Oh, but I prefer fuckbuddy. It just rolls off the tongue better.” Ethan told her with a laugh. “Ethan, we’re in the middle of negotiations to prevent a horrific three way war. The last thing that Tia needs is you to be calling her my fuckbuddy.” Twilight told him severely and Ethan lost his grin. “Sorry, Sparky. Why don’t you tell me a bit about the situation? Although, I’m just going to warn you, that I’m no negotiator; that would be Cassie, and she can’t spare the time away from Vegas to take on a large scale project like this.” Ethan told Twilight, his voice serious. “Okay. Well, the whole issue is very complicated. The griffins have always been our ‘allies’, but that alliance only goes far enough to keep them from burning our towns and eating our ponies. So we’ve got them on one side. The hippogriffs, on the other hoof, have been our sworn enemies for years, although the last armed conflict was two hundred years ago.” Twilight explained as they walked. “And here I thought racism didn’t exist here.” Ethan told her. “Shut up. As I was saying, the griffins and the hippogriffs are both angry with us at the moment because they seem to think that they don’t have enough land to feed their populations. While, it is true that Equestria takes up most of the continent, it isn’t as if we’ve been slowly starving them to death. The griffins have more than enough land to farm their cattle, as do the hippogriffs; they just haven’t put their minds to it.” Twilight continued. “Sparky, normally an entire country doesn’t go to war unless it has to. And I’m speaking from an outsider’s point of view so I don’t know if I’m missing something, but it seems like the easiest solution would be to give both groups enough land to placate them.” Ethan told her. “We know; that’s what we’ve been trying to do!” Twilight exclaimed in irritation, her horn flashed once and a nearby vase almost fell off of its pedestal before Ethan caught it. “I’m guessing that both the hippogriffs and the griffins think that they’re being shafted, when they compare what they’re getting, right?” Ethan asked. He may not be a politician, but he’d learned enough from Cassandra to pick up a few things. “Yes, exactly.” Twilight said with a slight groan. “Look, I can’t go into the specifics, but trust me when I tell you, that we’re being very fair with both nations. The real problem is that both griffins and hippogriffs are natural born fighters. Hell, a hippogriff will try and gut you if you don’t show it enough respect to do the proper form of bow before you speak. Not to mention the fact that on average they’re almost as tall as Celestia. On the other hoof we have griffins, who are one of if not the most adapt fighters currently residing on the continent. When I say that almost every part of their body is bred for killing, I’m not being overdramatic.” Twilight explained as they neared a door guarded by two gold armored unicorns, who leaped into action at the sight of Ethan. The first charged straight at the man with a sword held high in a telekinetic grip. Ethan glanced over at Twilight who sighed and rolled her eyes. “Just don’t hurt them too bad, they’re Tia’s private guards and she’ll be very annoyed if you get them sent to the hospital.” Twilight told Ethan a few seconds before the first guard reached him. Ethan reached out and yanked the sword out the unicorn’s TK field, much to the guard’s considerable surprise. Ethan held the sword in his right hand as he casually sent it through a few manoeuvres while both stared at him in shocked silence. “Okay, so there are two ways this can go. You can let me pass peacefully, or I can kick your asses.” Ethan told them simply with a grin. “He’s with me anyways guys, but good reaction to an unknown creature.” Twilight told them with a chuckle. “Meh, if he’s with you then it’ll be fine, Twilight, we’re just following orders.” The guard who still had his sword said with a shrug. “Thanks, Artos, Ethan, would you give Rudy his sword back?” Twilight asked Ethan who shrugged and tossed the sword back to the stallion, who caught it easily in his TK. “Thanks, mate. How’d you do that by the way?” Rudy asked as he the sheathed the sword while he wiped a stray piece of his blonde mane out of his eyes. “Well, that would be telling, wouldn’t it?” Ethan replied with a chuckle. “Fair enough. Just remember that my brother and I can and will kick your flank to the curb if we need to.” Rudy told him with a matching chuckle. “You’re both free to pass.” Artos told them as he opened the door to Celestia’s chambers. Twilight nodded her thanks to the two blonde stallions before she led Ethan into the room beyond. Celestia was sitting in a nearby armchair reading a book, but she looked up when she heard Twilight and Ethan enter. She froze when she saw Ethan, and then quickly rose to her hooves. Ethan looked the Princess up and down. He could physically feel the power that radiated off of her, and although he might have been confident of his ability to take almost anything in a fight (fair or otherwise) he had the feeling that if he challenged her then he’d find himself on the receiving end of the worst beating of his life. He also noticed that Celestia was giving him a similar examination, and he gave her a half smile when she met his gaze. Celestia examined Ethan with a combination of interest and fear. The fear was not for herself, she could handle anything that the biped could throw at her. No, the one that she was fearful for was Twilight. To Celestia’s age trained eyes the man before her practically emitted a sense of danger and unpredictability that sent a twinge of anxiety up her spine. At the same time Ethan (because that’s the only man it could be) seemed happy, almost carefree, and at the moment he was giving Celestia a half smile. Celestia nodded almost imperceptibly in return, and a small smile appeared on her face. “Tia, this is Ethan. Ethan, this is my marefriend, Princess Celestia.” Twilight said, completely missing the by-play going on between the two. “Hello, Ethan, I see that you have arrived a bit earlier than we expected you to.” Celestia said while she raised an eyebrow at him questioningly. “What can I say, a Wanderer is never late, nor is he early, he arrives precisely when he means to.” Ethan said with a smirk. “I see…” Celestia said after eyeing him for a few seconds. “…well then, allow me to be the first princess to welcome you to Equestria.” Celestia said with a smile that didn’t quite make it to her eyes. “Ah, about that. You’re actually the second princess to do that.” Ethan said with a shrug. “Luna?” Celestia asked with a raised eyebrow. “Yep, she seems nice but I have the oddest feeling that she’s done something horrible at some point in the past and she’s still feeling the pain.” Ethan replied casually. Celestia stared at him. “How could you possibly know that?” She asked in confused shock. “She’s got that look in her eye.” Ethan said nonchalantly. “And what do you plan to do with this knowledge?” Celestia asked protectively. “See if I can help, although if you tell me not to, I won’t.” Ethan told her. “I would like you to wait until I know you a bit better, she’s very touchy about it.” Celestia replied with a slight sigh. “Alright then, whatever you say, Ma’am. Anyways, I can see why Sparky wouldn’t stop talking about you.” Ethan said with a grin. “Ethan.” Twilight told him with a hard glance that he ignored completely. “I’d want to get back too, if I knew that someone as beautiful as you was waiting for me.” Ethan continued, causing Celestia to flush slightly. “Hell, if I wasn’t married to a woman who would castrate me…” Ethan said, trailing off with a joking grin on his face. “ETHAN!” Twilight shouted in annoyance. “Yes, Sparky?” Ethan asked “SHUT UP!” She shouted as she sent a blow of force into Ethan’s chest that sent him to the ground. He rolled back to his feet with a cheeky grin on his face. “Am I saying something to embarrass you in front of your fuckbuddy, Sparky?” Ethan asked with a chuckle as he tapped her on the head and ran towards the other side of the room. “Ethan, I swear to Faust!” Twilight said as she began to chase Ethan around the room. Celestia watched the whole thing with an amused smile on her face. The pursuit ended when Ethan suddenly turned around and grabbed Twilight mid stride. With a laugh, he pulled her into a hug and soon the two were on the floor laughing their heads off. “You know, I had no idea how much I missed you.” Twilight told Ethan once they’d both regained their breath. “I missed your cute purple ass too, Sparky.” Ethan said with another chuckle as she hit him in the head with her metal hoof, causing Celestia to let out a giggle. Twilight froze when she remembered that her lover was still in the room, and blushed crimson. “There’s nothing romantic between us!” She told Celestia, who only chuckled. “My dear, I can tell love when I see it.” Celestia said with an enigmatic smile while Twilight only blushed an even deeper red. “Although I doubt that you have any sexual urges for him.” She added with a smirk. “Well I don’t see why she wouldn’t; I’m a very handsome man after all.” Ethan said with a matching smirk. “Then again, I’m going to have to let her down easy. Like I said, Cassandra would castrate me.” “That is unfortunate, I’m sure that there will be many a heartbroken mare out there when news gets out.” Celestia said while her eyes twinkled with merriment. “That’s the price of being as handsome as I am.” Ethan said modestly. “I’m hungry. Who else is hungry?” Twilight asked, trying to distract them. Ethan and Celestia exchanged a serious look, before Ethan offered her his hand from where he sat next to Twilight. “Friends?” He asked; Celestia studied his hand for a few seconds before extending her hoof. “Friends.” She told him. “But if you ever hurt Twilight, I will personally rip off your penis and strangle you with it.” Celestia added. “I hadn’t planned on it, but I’ll take your word for it.” Ethan told her with a grin. “Good. Now let’s make our way to the dining hall, it’s almost dinner time.” Celestia said with a grin and began to walk towards the door. While she walked towards the door Celestia’s ethereal tail inexplicably brushed against the side of Twilight’s face, sending a wave of solar heat flowing over her face. Twilight blushed again, but Ethan was too entranced by the thought of food to notice. Twilight quickly jumped to her feet and trotted after the other two. “So Tia, who will be joining us for diner?” Twilight asked. “I think it should be Cadence, Shining, Blueblood, Ambassador Sharp, and Ambassador Nymira, along with the rest of the Elements.” Celestia replied with a shrug. “Will there be meat?” Ethan asked hopefully. “Yes, the griffins and hippogriffs prefer meat and I doubt that it’ll be difficult to get some for you.” Celestia told him. “Great. No offense, but I don’t think I could live on nothing but grass.” Ethan replied. “As long as you like your meat cooked, I don’t think it’ll be a problem.” Celestia said lightly with a chuckle. “Well I usually prefer to take my prey down with my hands and then eat it off of the still cooling body, but I guess I can do things your way.” Ethan said with a smirk. “Is it odd that I’m already regretting inviting you?” Twilight asked Ethan. “I’d be insulted if you didn’t.” Ethan replied jokingly. “Oh good; I was starting to worry.”