Chapter 1

Light Wanderings

Chapter 1

“Are you sure about this, Twilight? I’m sure that you could bring Ethan here later; at a time when things weren’t so tense between Equestria, the hippogriffs, and the griffins.” Celestia told her marefriend as the two of them lay on the bed together while early morning light washed over them through the balcony window. Twilight Sparkle was leaning close to Celestia as her robotic blue eye surveyed the room, and her silvery steel metal leg curled underneath her purple fur.

“Tia, I want him here because things are so tense. Ethan could be a big help if negotiations break down.” Twilight replied.

“Very well then, I suppose I have wanted to meet the Crazy Son of a Bitch.” Celestia said with a chuckle at the odd title that the man named Ethan had picked up.

“Honestly, I’m not expecting negotiations to break down. We have Luna as our ambassador to the griffins and I can’t imagine anypony I trust more working that end, while Cadence is handling the hippogriffs so there shouldn’t be any problem there.” Twilight replied with a shrug.

“Those were my thoughts, so when do you think he’ll get the letter?” Celestia asked.

“He should’ve gotten it a few seconds after I sent it. The letter had a return function so he could attach a reply.” Twilight answered.

“Well, I await his reply with interest, you’ve certainly told me quite a bit about him.” Celestia said with a gentle smile.

“Yeah, I am too; Ethan’s going to get a real kick out of Equestria, that’s for sure.” Twilight said with a chuckle.

“What do you think he’s doing right now?” Celestia asked as she sent a thrill of warmth along Twilight’s side.

“Something crazy, definitely something crazy.”

***

“Why do I always let you talk me into doing crazy things like this?” Cassandra shouted as the blue vertibird swerved around another building, narrowly avoiding losing a propeller in the process.

“Because you’re as bored as I am.” Ethan replied with a grin.

Then he turned away from the controls long enough to give Cassandra a kiss on the cheek before pushing forward on the throttle and sending the vertibird screeching downward at the ground, only to pull back at the last second and unleashing a storm of 5mm shredder rounds into the group of stunned Fiends. Bodies and parts flew apart as the bullets easily tore holes through their chests, sending streaks of blood in all directions… along with several ram head helmets.

“You know what I’ve been wondering?” Ethan asked Cassandra as he sent the vertibird upwards.

“No, what?” Cassandra asked as she looked out the armor-plated window.

“Okay, so I’ve been with you when you occasionally go and clear out Fiend nests, but not once have I seen a living ram. Seriously, where the hell do they get all the ram skulls for their helmets?” Ethan asked, gesturing towards a group of Fiends who were running towards a nearby building before they were decimated by the main gun.

“You know, that’s actually a good question.” Cassandra said, scratching her chin as one of the aforementioned ram skulls hit the window, the decapitated head of the Fiend offered no answers as it glared at them.

“So did we do enough cleaning for today or do you want to do a little more?” Ethan asked as he took the Vertibird on a low sweep that kept the wheels barely above the ground.

“I think that that’s enough for today. Besides, I have a meeting with that NCR general Susan later. Something about cazadors or something.” Cassandra replied with a shrug.

“Allrighty then.” Ethan told her before turning the vertibird back towards the hidden safe house around ten miles away from the strip. The two passed the time in comfortable silence as the voice of Mister New Vegas recounted the day’s news.

There have been odd sightings around the town of Goodsprings lately; the reports are sketchy so far but whatever it is does not appear to be violent.

“That’s odd. There shouldn’t be anything unusual around there except for the excessive amount of radscorpions, and honestly that’s just bad luck. Hmm… I wonder if that’s what Susan’s coming to talk about?” Cassandra asked with a frown.

“When did you two get to first name basis?” Ethan asked curiously.

“A little while ago actually. She’s pleasant, respectful, and she actually knows what she’s doing unlike most of the NCR upper level staff.” Cassandra replied. “You know, I actually would’ve supported them if it wasn’t for the fact that the majority of their leaders are incompetent.” She added with a shrug.

“Tell me about it.” Ethan agreed with a slight scowl as he thought of his unsuccessful attempt to get to California, he’d been stopped a by a full squad of soldier demanding to see his passport (which of course he didn’t have) and been ordered to turn around or else they’d charge him twenty thousand caps for being an alien. “Bastards wouldn’t know an alien if it shoved a probe up their asses.” He muttered, causing Cassandra to chuckle lightly.

“Are you still angry about that?” She asked.

“Of course I am Cassie, the bastards called me an alien!” Ethan exclaimed as he brought the vertibird into the concealed landing bay built into the side of the cliff.

“Ethan, I’ve explained this before. The term means someone that isn’t a native, not everyone has had the experience of being abducted.” Cassandra told her husband, rolling her eyes.

“I still say that it’s misleading.” Ethan said as the vertibird touched down with a slight lurch.

“I really need to get you a dictionary.” Cassandra said as she shook her head at Ethan’s verbal antics.

“Do they still make those?” Ethan asked while he unstrapped from his place at the pilots seat and started down the short ladder that led to the floor.

Ethan was a tall man, easily six and a half feet tall. He was wearing a suit of elite riot gear, as was Cassandra. A cocky, almost youthful smile was currently making its way across his face and his blue eyes sparkled with laugher.

“No, but I’m sure that Arcade has one lying around somewhere.” Cassandra said with a dismissive shrug before joining him on the hanger floor.

“Are we really having this conversation?” Ethan asked.

“A good vocabulary is important Ethan.” Cassandra insisted with a glint of laughter in her green eyes as her red hair glinted in the sunlight that filtered down through one of the concealed windows above them.

“Okay you win; I’ll look it up once we get back.” Ethan told her with a shake of his head.

“Good, and then I’ll see what Susan wants. After we feed the twins of course.”

***

“Aww yeah, this is going to be awesome!” Dash exclaimed with a hoofpump as she hovered in front of Twilight. “I can’t believe that we finally get to meet this guy!”

The six friends were sitting around one of the rooms that Celestia had given them. Twilight was sitting at the main coffee table, a mug of tea at her right while Rarity lounged in a familiar red couch. Fluttershy and Applejack shared one of the couches, while Dash was busy flying around the room, and was currently occupying the airspace in front of Twilight who was smiling slightly at her friend’s attitude. Pinkie Pie was wiggling in an armchair with an energetic smile plastered on her face.

“Ah don’t know, ah’m still worried about it.” Applejack told Twilight while she scratched her chin.

“As am I darling, from what you’ve told us about him this Ethan doesn’t sound like the kind of character that should be welcome in Equestria.” Rarity put in; she’d come to accept the new Twilight, but the thought of the wasteland striding man made her distinctly nervous.

“I’m not that worried about it. I’ll just make sure that he understands that he can’t go around killing things for no reason. Not that he’d do that normally, but I have the oddest feeling that he’s going to need a little time to adjust to Equestria.” Twilight replied with a shrug. “Oh and Pinkie, DO NOT pull your party cannon out of nowhere and shoot him, he might kill you.” Twilight added as afterthought.

“Oh come on Twilight, I know how to act around people with loaded guns.” Pinkie said, rolling her eyes from where she sat.

“How would you?” Twilight asked in confusion.

“Well do you want the existential version or the metaphoric probability one?” Pinkie replied with a smirk.

“You know what, never mind.” Twilight said with a sigh.

“Umm, if it wouldn’t be too much trouble could I meet him last?” Fluttershy asked nervously from her seat beside Applejack.

“Don’t worry Fluttershy. We don’t know when he’s coming yet, but I’ll make sure that he knows not to scare you. Well, not to on purpose, at least.” Twilight answered with a smile as her robotic eye flashed once.

“Thank you.” The yellow pegasus said quietly before leaning back into the couch.

“Of course Fluttershy, all you had to do was ask. Alright, there are some ground rules for dealing with Ethan.” Twilight began as she entered lecture mode and sat a little straighter. “Firstly he might act like an idiot, he might even be an idiot on occasion, but he’s actually very smart. If you’re insulting him he’ll know, and he’ll probably find a way to even the score. Think Pinkie and Rainbow’s pranks but with more explosions and a lot more screaming. Secondly (and these are his words) he’s hard to kill so don’t try a heroic sacrifice if it looks like he’ll be killed. Trust me, I’ve seen him regrow vital organs along with a hole in the chest in under a minute. Lastly and most importantly he is deadly, he’s more than capable of killing anything short of a full grown dragon at any time.”

“The more I hear about this guy the more I want to meet him!” Dash said with a smile.

“What is it with you and your sick fascination dangerous killers?” Rarity asked with a shake of her head from her lounger.

“Gilda isn’t a killer.” Dash said in a low voice as she flew over towards Rarity.

“Her entire body can be used as a weapon.” Rarity shot back.

“That doesn’t make her a kill-”

“Girls we need to stay on topic here. Dash can fuck whoever or whatever she wants; she’s a grown mare and it’s her business not ours.” Twilight said, rolling her eyes at the way something so unimportant could cause her friends to argue for hours.

Her friends had slowly adjusted to Twilight’s ‘colorful’ vocabulary, but they’d finally gotten to the point where she could curse around them without surprised intakes of breath. Rarity snorted in ladylike disdain, and Dash gloated while she hovered in place.

“Anyways, Ethan is a pretty nice guy as long as you’re not fucking with him; oh and his sense of humor is a bit weird…” Twilight said, trailing off with a thoughtful look on her face.

“We can deal with Pinkie Pie, ah’m sure that he can’t be that bad.” Applejack replied casually.

“You say that now.” Twilight said with a shrug.

“Hey Twily, you in here?” A familiar voice called from the hallway.

“Come on in Shining.” Twilight called back without looking behind her.

Shining Armor, Captain of the Royal Equestrian Guard entered the room with a confident smile on his face. He was wearing his special golden armor instead of the typical blue that he normally wore because of all the diplomats who were currently threading their way around Canterlot. The armor was an improved version of the suit that Luna had given him when he went in search of Twilight, and as such had a large number of protective spells in place. His blue mane fell back across his neck handsomely. Blue eyes shined with an intelligence and determination that they’d lacked nine months ago. On the whole he looked almost completely different from the almost broken looking stallion who’d limped back home.

“So, how was your session with Cadence?” Twilight asked, giving her brother a smile and a hug as she got up from her spot at the table.

“It was great; goddesses, I’m a lucky stallion.” Shining replied with a chuckle as he released his sister from the embrace.

“I’d say that it’s the opposite, personally.” Cadence said as she followed Shining into the room.

The pink alicorn looked very happy, although her face was rather flushed. Then again, considering what the process of removing changeling magic from her husband was like that was no big surprise really.

“Well one thing’s for sure, and that that it’s working.” Twilight said, giving Cadence a smile. “Oh and Shining, I was just explaining to the others that Ethan might be visiting soon.” Twilight added.

“Good, I need to apologize for being a real jerk.” Shining replied with a shrug.

“Really, I thought you hated him?” Dash asked in confusion from where she’d finally sat down next to Fluttershy on the couch.

“Considering the state of my mind when I last talked to him I’m going assume that he isn’t as bad as I thought he was and give him the benefit of the doubt. On the other hoof, if he hurts you…” Shining said trailing off.

“It’s Ethan Shiny, I think he’d probably hurt himself worse then you ever could if I got hurt.” Twilight told her brother who shrugged.

“Either way it’ll be nice to have a fresh start with him.”

“Dear, have I mentioned how proud of you I am lately?” Cadence asked Shining as she playfully bumped her flank into his.

“Not nearly enough.” Shining said, bumping her right back and eliciting a giggle from Cadence.

“Don’t you two have negotiations to get to?” Twilight asked hoping to interrupt what looked as if it could turn into a makeout session.

“Oh right. We probably shouldn’t leave Ambassador Sharp waiting.” Shining said with a slight blush creeping over his white face.

“Yes, knowing him he would take it as a personal insult to his honor and then challenge me to a duel.” Cadence replied with a slight sigh.

“Have a good time you two; try not to start a war please.” Twilight shouted as they left the room.

“No promises Twily.” Shining shouted back with a chuckle.

“I still don’t know how you two can joke about something as awful as war.” Rarity said with a disapproving look.

“Rarity, something that I learned in the wasteland is that the more seriously you take something the more likely it is for the universe to bitchslap you with it. Well, except for the laws of physics (because gravity is a gigantic bitch), and radiation, because the more you ignore that the worse it gets, but that’s not important.” Twilight replied with another shrug.

“So do we know when Ethan’ll get the letter?” Applejack asked.

“It should be soon.” Twilight replied with a shrug. “All we can do now is wait for a reply.”

***

Ethan and Cassandra sat together in the dining room of Cassandra’s penthouse while they held their twins.

“You know, when you said you wanted kids I completely forgot about the fact that kids start out as babies.” Ethan said, wincing in pain as their son Ash tested out his lungs again while he rested in the Wanderer’s arms.

“Ethan.” Cassandra said warningly while she burped their daughter, Shade.

“Hey, I’m not complaining; I can’t wait to get to take them out shooting and stuff. But this is going to suck for a bit.” Ethan replied

“Do I need to give you another lecture on the importance of their formative years?” Cassandra asked.

“No, please god no, but look I’m just saying that children suck at first.” Ethan said with a shrug.

“Oh come on. I’ve seen you smile when you hold them.” Cassandra told Ethan chidingly.

“Yeah, they’re cute. But you have to remember that babies are essentially eating, screaming, and pooping machines.” Ethan replied with a smirk that got a chuckle out of Cassandra.

“You know, I can’t really fault you for that logic.” She said with a wan smile as she got up and headed towards the room with the cribs that had formally been taken up by an extra bedroom.

“Thank god we have Wadsworth to help, otherwise I think they’d have starved by now.” Ethan added (and artfully dodged her kick) as he followed her towards the room.

“Yes, sir, you should thank him. And have I mentioned how very happy I am to have been conscripted into doing this absolutely dreadful task? I may just kill you in your sleep and then enslave the human race.” Wadsworth said as he floated around the cradle room dutifully cleaning.

“Haven’t we already argued this to death?” Ethan asked, giving the robot an annoyed look.

“If we had then you’d be dead. Besides, I’ve been sending messages to the Sink and he thinks that he knows how to keep me going for around a thousand more years so my options are back on the table, so to speak.” Wadsworth replied, sounding surprisingly upbeat.

“Well you two have fun with that, and don’t pick on Mugs.” Cassandra said as she set Shade down in her crib. Ethan followed suit.

“I didn’t plan on it, although my interaction with the other sink AIs has been somewhat limited. The only one that I would destroy would have to be the Toaster.” Wadsworth told Cassandra while the two humans walked towards the door.

“Yeah, he’ll do that to you. Call us if you need anything.” Cassandra said over her shoulder as she and Ethan walked towards the door.

“Hmm… we killed some Fiends, the twins are asleep, and you’re going to a meeting. I have the oddest feeling that I’m going to be bored now.” Ethan said with a sigh.

“This meeting shouldn’t take too long, and then I’ll be back and we can find something to entertain ourselves.” Cassandra said with a sly smile.

“Well, that’s something to look forward-” Ethan began but he was interrupted by a small flash of purple light and the arrival of a letter in a sealed glass canister. Ethan caught it without thinking, and quickly pulled the letter out of it. “Holy shit it’s from Sparky!” Ethan exclaimed with a grin.

“Really?” Cassandra asked interestedly.

“Here, let me read it.

Dear Ethan.

I know that you haven’t heard from me (it’s Sparky) in nine months or so, at least I think that your time is the same as mine, but I wanted to tell you that I got home to Equestria safely and I’m now going out with, and fucking, Princess Celestia. Anyways, the main point of this letter is that I’ve discovered a way to easily transport things back and forth between our worlds. So I was wondering if you, and Cassandra if she’s available, although I’m sure she’s busier then you being a queen and all, would like to go on a vacation to Equestria.

Feel free to say no but I’d really like to see you. One because I enjoy your company, and two because we’re teetering on the edge of a three way race war and if shit hit’s the fan then I’d like you to be around to help me keep the ones I love safe. Like I said, this is completely voluntary on your part and is by no means required of you. That being said I’m bored as all hell and would love a chance to catch up.

To reply all you have to do is write something on a piece of paper, stick it in the glass tube, and press the sun on the side of the cylinder. Do not press the moon unless you’re ready to actually travel here, and I’d really like some notice before you come so please send me a reply first!

P.S. bring a nice suit so that my friend Rarity can have your measurements instead of having to make you something from scratch”

“Well, are you going to go?” Cassandra asked.

“Well she obviously needs me, and like I said I’m kind of bored here…” Ethan said trailing off. “…But I’ll stay if you need me.” He added.

“Ethan, I can deal with almost anything that the Wasteland can throw at me. Go have fun, just don’t forget to write.” Cassandra said before giving him a kiss on the lips. “You can borrow a few of my guns if you want; now I’ve got to go and meet with Susan.” She told him before walking towards the elevator and stepping inside. Ethan spent the next several minutes sifting through Cassandra’s considerable armory before heading back to the main room with a bag containing everything that he’d need slung over his shoulder.

“Hmm, I could do what Sparky says and tell her ahead of time, or I could just press the button and give her a hug… Is that supposed to be a real choice?” He asked no one in particular.

“If you’re going to go then go! If not, come in here and help me change these confounded diapers!” Wadsworth said loudly from the side room.

“It’s good to be the Wanderer!” Ethan shouted as he pressed the little moon symbol on the side of the cylinder and vanished in a flash of purple light.

***

“Slipspace rupture detected!” Pinkie shouted suddenly.

“What-” Twilight began but was interrupted by a bright flash of light. When her vision cleared she found Ethan looking around himself with a thoughtful grin.

“So Sparky, you called?”

Chapter 2

View Online

Edited by TacoTown and Furta E

Chapter two

“Ethan, what, I… I should’ve seen this coming, shouldn’t I?” Twilight asked with a sigh and a facehoof.

“Yep,” Ethan replied with a grin as he looked around the room with interest. “So this is your home, huh?” He asked with a smile.

“No, this is the Royal Palace, where Princess Celestia lives.” Twilight told him.

“Well, Sparky; you really know how to pick a fuckbuddy, I’ll give you that.” Ethan said with a chuckle.

This drew several surprised gasps from the other ponies in the room. They may have been used to Twilight’s cursing, but she’d never described Celestia so casually (or offensively, for that matter).

“Thanks, Ethan. So how’re things at home?” Twilight asked casually, much to the surprise of her friends.

“The settlements in the Capital Wasteland are expanding, the Brotherhood is enlarging, and Cassie is running Vegas while raising the twins with me.” Ethan told her with a happy smile.

“Twins… wait… You had twins?!” Twilight asked excitedly before launching herself at Ethan, who caught her in a hug.

“Yep; a boy and a girl.” Ethan said before setting her on the floor again.

“Congratulations Ethan! Wait… that means that you’re a father…” Twilight said, trailing off and giving Ethan a serious look. “Ethan, tell please me that you didn’t come here to get out of being a father!”

“Well I can’t lie about that being in the back of my mind, but it wasn’t my primary motivation. Besides, the first few months don’t really matter that much anyways; or at least among humans.”

Ethan replied with a shrug. “So are you going to introduce me to your friends or are we just going to keep on awkwardly ignoring them?” He added with a glance towards the other five ponies in the room that were looking at Ethan with a variety of expressions ranging from excitement (Dash and Pinkie) to fear and disgust (Fluttershy and Rarity).

“Oh, right. Ethan this is Rainbow Dash, Rarity, Fluttershy, Applejack, and Pinkie Pie.” Twilight said while gesturing at each one of them in turn.

“Hi, I’m Ethan.” Ethan said with a grin as he offered his hand to the ponies.

“You’re so cool! I mean, look at that awesome armor!” Rainbow Dash said as she flew into his face.

“Thanks, I try my best.” Ethan replied with a smile.

“I’m Rainbow Dash, the fastest mare in Equestria!” Rainbow said as she offered Ethan her hoof to shake.

“Not something I’d brag about if I were you; but if you’re that comfortable with it then go ahead.” Ethan replied with a grin.

“What…?” Dash asked as her face suddenly became clouded with confusion.

“Wait for it…” Ethan told Twilight with a wink.

“Hey, what’s that supposed to mean?!” Dash shouted as she got the joke at her expense.

“So, Sparky,” He began, “You asked me to bring a suit?” Ethan asked, turning back to Twilight while Dash buzzed around his head angrily.

“Yes, it’ll make it easier for Rarity to make you a suit if she has something that fits you already.” Twilight replied.

“Hey! Stop ignoring me!” Dash told Ethan angrily before kicking him in the back of the head.

“Cool, here you go.” Ethan said as he tossed a black garment at Twilight, who caught it in her magic before sending it Rarity’s way. “I’d prefer there to be some room for armored plates because I like to be protected when I’m eating with high-class asshats, but if not then that’s fine too.” Ethan added with a nod towards the white unicorn who was distracted by the fabric in front of her.

“This design is interesting; at first glance it appears to be made of silk, but then if you explore it further it become obvious that it isn’t- Are these blood stains?!” She suddenly cried, throwing the suit away in surprise.

“Yeah, probably. Hmm… Oh right, that. Party at the Tops got ugly…” Ethan said, trailing off with a sigh. “Oh well, what’re you gonna do when someone tries to kill your wife?” Rarity’s eye was twitching and Fluttershy was cowering against the side of the couch.

“So ya killed someone tryin to kill your wife?” Applejack asked.

“Yep. Not that I really needed to, but she was pregnant at the time and I was feeling protective.” Ethan replied with a shrug as he ignored another one of Dash’s kicks.

“You’re tellin’ me that somepony would attack a pregnant mare where you live?” Applejack asked in astonishment.

“Yeah, why not?” Ethan asked.

“Because, that just ain’t right!” She replied, outraged.

“Tell that to the Wasteland, not me.” Ethan told her with a sad sigh.

“Well consarnit, that place needs a good buck in the rear. Ah’m Applejack by the way.” She added.

“Nice to meet you, and thanks for the offer; but I doubt that kicking it would do much to the Wasteland.” Ethan told her with a shrug.

“Hi, I’m Pinkie Pie!” Pinkie said as she suddenly appeared on Ethan’s shoulder.

“Should I ask how you did that, or would I just hurt myself?” Ethan asked her.

“A little of Column Gamma, a little of Column 42.” Pinkie replied with a grin.

“Oh I like her.” Ethan told Twilight as he reached into his armored duster pocket and pulled out a snack cake packet before he handed it to the pony currently defying several laws of space. “Sorry if they’re not as good as the stuff around here, they’re two hundred years old.” Ethan told her apologetically, but Pinkie just shrugged and popped one into her mouth with a grin.

“Wow, now I see why Boo likes these.” Pinkie said with a smile once she’d swallowed the cake.

“I’m glad you like them.” Ethan told her with a matching smile.

“Fluttershy, would you like to meet Ethan?” Twilight asked, turning to her yellow friend.

“Maybe.” She said quietly while she hid behind her pink mane.

An unfamiliar look crossed Ethan’s face and he slowly extended his hand towards Fluttershy, who shrank back slightly. But Ethan made vague comforting noises, and she slowly peeked out from behind her mane. With a small grin, Ethan’s fingers stretched out and slowly began to stroke Fluttershy’s head.

“I’m sorry if I scared you.” He told her quietly as he continued to stroke. Twilight and the rest watched in surprise as Fluttershy began to slowly relax under the man’s ministrations. “Where I come from things aren’t all that nice, so I have to be a little mean.” He added.

“That’s okay, you kind of remind me of a wolf.” Fluttershy replied as she moved towards where Ethan had sat down on the floor in front of the couch.

“Thanks, I’ve always liked wolves.” Ethan replied with a grin.

“That feels wonderful, by the way.” Fluttershy added.

“Ethan, why are you treating her like a dog?” Twilight asked, immediately ruining the touching moment. Fluttershy blushed and scooted away from him, and Ethan shot Twilight an annoyed look.

“Because that’s the way you deal with scared animals, Sparky; and no offense, but to me you’re all animals so I went with what I knew.” Ethan replied, still keeping his voice low and controlled.

“I didn’t mind, it was the way I would’ve done it if he couldn’t speak our language and I’d found him hurt.” Fluttershy said before it could create an argument.

“If you say so, Fluttershy.” Twilight said before turning back to Ethan. “Alright Ethan, follow me and try not to scare any of the castle staff too much; also, don’t bring a gun out near Celestia. She knows what they are and would probably react about as well to an unknown creature barging into her room with a gun as you would.” Twilight told him as they began to make their way down the corridor.

“What about your friends?” Ethan asked.

“Oh they’ll find something to do with themselves, right, girls?” Twilight called over her shoulder.

“We’ll be fine sugar cube; you focus on gettin’ him to Celestia without any deaths.” Applejack called back.

“Geez Twilight, I’m not a remorseless killing machine.” Ethan said, sounding hurt.

“You are by Equestrian standards.” Twilight replied with a shrug.

“Aren’t you one too, then?” Ethan countered.

“Yes, please don’t remind me.” Twilight answered with a hint of venom.

“Oh god, please tell me that you haven’t gone soft on me, Sparky.” Ethan said with a chuckle. Before he realized what had happened Ethan was glued to the ceiling by a powerful magnetic field.

“Ethan, let me put this very simply. I may be quite capable of killing; hell, I may even enjoy a small part of it if the ones that I’m killing deserve it. But I do not like being reminded of it!” Twilight told him. Her voice had never gotten above room level, but there was an implacable hardness to it that would’ve sent shivers of fear up the spine of a normal pony (or human). Ethan being Ethan, he simply reached into his pocket withdrew a pulse grenade and before Twilight could do anything he pulled the pin. The burst of static knocked out Twilight’s TK and Ethan landed gently on his feet.

“I’ll keep that in mind, Sparky. He replied, “Now, why don’t we make our way to meet your fuckbuddy?” Ethan asked her with a wide smile.

“Gah, I should’ve known better then to try that.” Twilight said with a shake of her head.

“I’ll give you an A for effort.” Ethan told her with a chuckle.

“I actually missed you; I wonder if I should start going to therapy…” Twilight said, trailing off.

“Don’t worry, Sparky, it’s just my raw animal magnetism.” Ethan told her with a grin.

“Goddess…”

“Yes, Twilight?” Luna asked as she suddenly emerged from a nearby room.

Then her eyes widened as she saw Ethan wearing his imposing riot gear. Then they narrowed and she slowly began to do a full body scan of the man in front of her. Her gaze stopped a few times as she investigated several interesting aspects of the outfit, along with the large duffle bag that he was carrying over one shoulder. Then she grinned and offered him her hoof.

Ethan looked right into the eyes of the Princess who’s eyes were on the same level as his own (she’d done a little growing lately and was almost Celestia’s height again). What he saw there gave him pause. Her eyes twinkled with mischievousness, but Ethan could tell that that was covering up a much deeper wound, a great pain that he’d encountered occasionally out in the Wastes. It was the same look that Cassandra got when she thought about what she’d done to the Divide. Ethan made a mental note to ask about it, if for no other reason than the fact that people who’ve experienced that kind of pain are always looking for someone to talk to about it. Whether they know it or not.

“Hello, I’m Princess Luna, and you must be Ethan.” She said casually. Ethan shook his head quickly to get rid of the errant thoughts before replying.

“Indeed I am, dear lady.” Ethan said with a bow as he gave her extended hoof a quick kiss.

“And Twilight here said that you had no manners. Shame on you, Twilight, he seems like a perfectly respectable person.” Luna chided; Twilight’s jaw still hadn’t made its way back from the floor so she was unable to say anything in response.

“I may be rather uncouth under most circumstances, but I’ve read enough books to know the proper way to address a princess.” Ethan replied with a grin.

“It is much appreciated to find someone who will give me the courtesy without sounding like an ass kissing moron.” Luna told him frankly, dropping the decorum.

“My pleasure, Luna; if I may call you Luna?” Ethan asked.

“Of course, I’d prefer it honestly.” Luna told him with a chuckle.

“Well then it’s an honor to meet you Luna. We were just on our way to meet Twilight’s fuckbuddy, would you happen to know where she is?” Ethan asked, causing Twilight to gasp in shock; she didn’t think that Ethan would actually say something like that in front of either princess. Luna however just grinned at the description.

“I just finished a session of negotiations with the griffin ambassadors, so unfortunately I have no way of knowing. I’d try her room.” Luna replied with a grin.

“Aright then, I assume that that’s where Twilight was leading us.” Ethan told her with a smile.

“Well, it was nice to meet you, Ethan. I have business to attend to, now, but I wouldn’t mind it if you came to talk to me later if you have any questions that Twilight can’t answer. Anyways, I must go. Come on, Bluestreak.” Luna told the stallion that had followed her without being previously noticed by either Twilight or Ethan. They set off down the hall in the opposite direction from where Twilight and Ethan were heading.

“How did you do that?” Twilight asked once Luna was out of earshot.

“Twilight, do you really think I could’ve gotten a woman like Cassandra anywhere near me if I didn’t know how to act like a gentleman?” Ethan asked her with a chuckle. “Now, let’s go see your fuckbuddy.”

“Please, just don’t call her that.” Twilight said with a sigh.

“But, Sparky, it’s a good way to describe it! You’re both in love, right?” He asked and received a nod. “And I’m guessing that you’re not getting married right?” Another nod. “So you can’t tell me that you’re going to become too serious, right?” A third nod. “Alright then, in other words, you’re people who see each other and care about each other but aren’t seriously committed to each other enough to get married. Thus the proper term would be, fuckbuddy. It isn’t an insult; it’s just the word that we use to describe a situation such as this.” Ethan said with a grin.

“Ethan, that’s what a marefriend is.” Twilight said rolling her eyes.

“Oh, but I prefer fuckbuddy. It just rolls off the tongue better.” Ethan told her with a laugh.

“Ethan, we’re in the middle of negotiations to prevent a horrific three way war. The last thing that Tia needs is you to be calling her my fuckbuddy.” Twilight told him severely and Ethan lost his grin.

“Sorry, Sparky. Why don’t you tell me a bit about the situation? Although, I’m just going to warn you, that I’m no negotiator; that would be Cassie, and she can’t spare the time away from Vegas to take on a large scale project like this.” Ethan told Twilight, his voice serious.

“Okay. Well, the whole issue is very complicated. The griffins have always been our ‘allies’, but that alliance only goes far enough to keep them from burning our towns and eating our ponies. So we’ve got them on one side. The hippogriffs, on the other hoof, have been our sworn enemies for years, although the last armed conflict was two hundred years ago.” Twilight explained as they walked.

“And here I thought racism didn’t exist here.” Ethan told her.

“Shut up. As I was saying, the griffins and the hippogriffs are both angry with us at the moment because they seem to think that they don’t have enough land to feed their populations. While, it is true that Equestria takes up most of the continent, it isn’t as if we’ve been slowly starving them to death. The griffins have more than enough land to farm their cattle, as do the hippogriffs; they just haven’t put their minds to it.” Twilight continued.

“Sparky, normally an entire country doesn’t go to war unless it has to. And I’m speaking from an outsider’s point of view so I don’t know if I’m missing something, but it seems like the easiest solution would be to give both groups enough land to placate them.” Ethan told her.

“We know; that’s what we’ve been trying to do!” Twilight exclaimed in irritation, her horn flashed once and a nearby vase almost fell off of its pedestal before Ethan caught it.

“I’m guessing that both the hippogriffs and the griffins think that they’re being shafted, when they compare what they’re getting, right?” Ethan asked. He may not be a politician, but he’d learned enough from Cassandra to pick up a few things.

“Yes, exactly.” Twilight said with a slight groan. “Look, I can’t go into the specifics, but trust me when I tell you, that we’re being very fair with both nations. The real problem is that both griffins and hippogriffs are natural born fighters. Hell, a hippogriff will try and gut you if you don’t show it enough respect to do the proper form of bow before you speak. Not to mention the fact that on average they’re almost as tall as Celestia. On the other hoof we have griffins, who are one of if not the most adapt fighters currently residing on the continent. When I say that almost every part of their body is bred for killing, I’m not being overdramatic.” Twilight explained as they neared a door guarded by two gold armored unicorns, who leaped into action at the sight of Ethan.

The first charged straight at the man with a sword held high in a telekinetic grip. Ethan glanced over at Twilight who sighed and rolled her eyes.

“Just don’t hurt them too bad, they’re Tia’s private guards and she’ll be very annoyed if you get them sent to the hospital.” Twilight told Ethan a few seconds before the first guard reached him.

Ethan reached out and yanked the sword out the unicorn’s TK field, much to the guard’s considerable surprise. Ethan held the sword in his right hand as he casually sent it through a few manoeuvres while both stared at him in shocked silence.

“Okay, so there are two ways this can go. You can let me pass peacefully, or I can kick your asses.” Ethan told them simply with a grin.

“He’s with me anyways guys, but good reaction to an unknown creature.” Twilight told them with a chuckle.

“Meh, if he’s with you then it’ll be fine, Twilight, we’re just following orders.” The guard who still had his sword said with a shrug.

“Thanks, Artos, Ethan, would you give Rudy his sword back?” Twilight asked Ethan who shrugged and tossed the sword back to the stallion, who caught it easily in his TK.

“Thanks, mate. How’d you do that by the way?” Rudy asked as he the sheathed the sword while he wiped a stray piece of his blonde mane out of his eyes.

“Well, that would be telling, wouldn’t it?” Ethan replied with a chuckle.

“Fair enough. Just remember that my brother and I can and will kick your flank to the curb if we need to.” Rudy told him with a matching chuckle.

“You’re both free to pass.” Artos told them as he opened the door to Celestia’s chambers. Twilight nodded her thanks to the two blonde stallions before she led Ethan into the room beyond.

Celestia was sitting in a nearby armchair reading a book, but she looked up when she heard Twilight and Ethan enter. She froze when she saw Ethan, and then quickly rose to her hooves.

Ethan looked the Princess up and down. He could physically feel the power that radiated off of her, and although he might have been confident of his ability to take almost anything in a fight (fair or otherwise) he had the feeling that if he challenged her then he’d find himself on the receiving end of the worst beating of his life. He also noticed that Celestia was giving him a similar examination, and he gave her a half smile when she met his gaze.

Celestia examined Ethan with a combination of interest and fear. The fear was not for herself, she could handle anything that the biped could throw at her. No, the one that she was fearful for was Twilight. To Celestia’s age trained eyes the man before her practically emitted a sense of danger and unpredictability that sent a twinge of anxiety up her spine. At the same time Ethan (because that’s the only man it could be) seemed happy, almost carefree, and at the moment he was giving Celestia a half smile. Celestia nodded almost imperceptibly in return, and a small smile appeared on her face.

“Tia, this is Ethan. Ethan, this is my marefriend, Princess Celestia.” Twilight said, completely missing the by-play going on between the two.

“Hello, Ethan, I see that you have arrived a bit earlier than we expected you to.” Celestia said while she raised an eyebrow at him questioningly.

“What can I say, a Wanderer is never late, nor is he early, he arrives precisely when he means to.” Ethan said with a smirk.

“I see…” Celestia said after eyeing him for a few seconds. “…well then, allow me to be the first princess to welcome you to Equestria.” Celestia said with a smile that didn’t quite make it to her eyes.

“Ah, about that. You’re actually the second princess to do that.” Ethan said with a shrug.

“Luna?” Celestia asked with a raised eyebrow.

“Yep, she seems nice but I have the oddest feeling that she’s done something horrible at some point in the past and she’s still feeling the pain.” Ethan replied casually. Celestia stared at him.

“How could you possibly know that?” She asked in confused shock.

“She’s got that look in her eye.” Ethan said nonchalantly.

“And what do you plan to do with this knowledge?” Celestia asked protectively.

“See if I can help, although if you tell me not to, I won’t.” Ethan told her.

“I would like you to wait until I know you a bit better, she’s very touchy about it.” Celestia replied with a slight sigh.

“Alright then, whatever you say, Ma’am. Anyways, I can see why Sparky wouldn’t stop talking about you.” Ethan said with a grin.

“Ethan.” Twilight told him with a hard glance that he ignored completely.

“I’d want to get back too, if I knew that someone as beautiful as you was waiting for me.” Ethan continued, causing Celestia to flush slightly. “Hell, if I wasn’t married to a woman who would castrate me…” Ethan said, trailing off with a joking grin on his face.

“ETHAN!” Twilight shouted in annoyance.

“Yes, Sparky?” Ethan asked

“SHUT UP!” She shouted as she sent a blow of force into Ethan’s chest that sent him to the ground. He rolled back to his feet with a cheeky grin on his face.

“Am I saying something to embarrass you in front of your fuckbuddy, Sparky?” Ethan asked with a chuckle as he tapped her on the head and ran towards the other side of the room.

“Ethan, I swear to Faust!” Twilight said as she began to chase Ethan around the room. Celestia watched the whole thing with an amused smile on her face. The pursuit ended when Ethan suddenly turned around and grabbed Twilight mid stride. With a laugh, he pulled her into a hug and soon the two were on the floor laughing their heads off. “You know, I had no idea how much I missed you.” Twilight told Ethan once they’d both regained their breath.

“I missed your cute purple ass too, Sparky.” Ethan said with another chuckle as she hit him in the head with her metal hoof, causing Celestia to let out a giggle. Twilight froze when she remembered that her lover was still in the room, and blushed crimson.

“There’s nothing romantic between us!” She told Celestia, who only chuckled.

“My dear, I can tell love when I see it.” Celestia said with an enigmatic smile while Twilight only blushed an even deeper red. “Although I doubt that you have any sexual urges for him.” She added with a smirk.

“Well I don’t see why she wouldn’t; I’m a very handsome man after all.” Ethan said with a matching smirk. “Then again, I’m going to have to let her down easy. Like I said, Cassandra would castrate me.”

“That is unfortunate, I’m sure that there will be many a heartbroken mare out there when news gets out.” Celestia said while her eyes twinkled with merriment.

“That’s the price of being as handsome as I am.” Ethan said modestly.

“I’m hungry. Who else is hungry?” Twilight asked, trying to distract them. Ethan and Celestia exchanged a serious look, before Ethan offered her his hand from where he sat next to Twilight.

“Friends?” He asked; Celestia studied his hand for a few seconds before extending her hoof.

“Friends.” She told him. “But if you ever hurt Twilight, I will personally rip off your penis and strangle you with it.” Celestia added.

“I hadn’t planned on it, but I’ll take your word for it.” Ethan told her with a grin.

“Good. Now let’s make our way to the dining hall, it’s almost dinner time.” Celestia said with a grin and began to walk towards the door. While she walked towards the door Celestia’s ethereal tail inexplicably brushed against the side of Twilight’s face, sending a wave of solar heat flowing over her face. Twilight blushed again, but Ethan was too entranced by the thought of food to notice. Twilight quickly jumped to her feet and trotted after the other two.

“So Tia, who will be joining us for diner?” Twilight asked.

“I think it should be Cadence, Shining, Blueblood, Ambassador Sharp, and Ambassador Nymira, along with the rest of the Elements.” Celestia replied with a shrug.

“Will there be meat?” Ethan asked hopefully.

“Yes, the griffins and hippogriffs prefer meat and I doubt that it’ll be difficult to get some for you.” Celestia told him.

“Great. No offense, but I don’t think I could live on nothing but grass.” Ethan replied.

“As long as you like your meat cooked, I don’t think it’ll be a problem.” Celestia said lightly with a chuckle.

“Well I usually prefer to take my prey down with my hands and then eat it off of the still cooling body, but I guess I can do things your way.” Ethan said with a smirk.

“Is it odd that I’m already regretting inviting you?” Twilight asked Ethan.

“I’d be insulted if you didn’t.” Ethan replied jokingly.

“Oh good; I was starting to worry.”

Chapter 3

View Online

Edited by TacoTown and Furta E

Chapter 3

They entered the dining hall to find that they were the last to arrive. Princess Luna sat just to the left of the center, and a space next to her had been reserved for her sister. Two seats to her right were Shining Armor, a pink alicorn, and a blonde unicorn stallion. Twilight’s friends were nowhere in sight, but Ethan supposed that was to be expected at a dinner filled with this many diplomats.

Sitting next to Luna was a large, white, fur and feathered creature that looked to be a cross between a lion and a bird of prey, both of which Ethan had seen in a book. Hard red eyes looked Ethan over with a mix of curiosity, and Ethan thought he saw a hint of respect. If his memory was right, then this was the griffin. Sitting on the opposite end of the table closer to Cadence was an odd creature that Ethan assumed to be the hippogriff.

The entire front half of the hippogriff was taken up by brown feathers spotted with dark golden feathers. A large pair of falcon-like wings extended from its back, obscuring the rest of its body. A sharp, piercing beak took up the majority of its face, and the rest was a pair of golden hawk eyes that looked at Ethan, and the man suddenly had the feeling that a mouse in a field gets while a hawk circles ominously overhead. Ethan did what he did naturally when he felt threatened, and gave the hippogriff a large tooth filled smile while his blue eyes flashed dangerously, promising violence if needed. The hippogriff snorted once, and rose to its hooves/talons, revealing that the rest of its body was that of a proud black stallion. He walked directly in front of the table and began to stare into Ethan’s eyes.

“Bow respectfully.” Twilight hissed.

“Or what?” Ethan asked back.

“Or he guts you for dishonoring him; he’s also easily capable of hearing everything that we’re saying so keep your mouth clean.” Twilight replied.

Ethan shrugged internally before gallantly lowering his upper body into a fluid bow. Once he rose, he was surprised to find that the hippogriff had begun to return the bow, and gave Ethan a bow just as deep and fluid as the one that Ethan had given him. The bird then cocked its head to the side and met Ethan’s gaze at an angle.

“I have not met one of your species previously, but at least you know how to give your equals courtesy, unlike some whom I have met here. My name is Sharphooves Bloodtalon, but you may call me Sharp or Ambassador if you would prefer.” The hippogriff said in an imperious voice while he cast a vexed look towards the griffin, who simply smiled pleasantly back. Ethan briefly pondered how a beak was capable of smiling, but decided that it wasn’t worth the bother.

“I only bow to my King or my Princess, and you’re rather lacking when compared to either of them.” The griffin replied, her voice was smooth but Ethan could hear a large amount of laughter contained inside. If Ethan had to guess, he’d say that she was middle aged. “I’m Ambassador Nymira by the way.” The white griffin added, turning to Ethan.

“Why you insist on disrespecting my customs even when this stranger, unfamiliar with my peoples’ practices respects them?!” The hippogriff said with a hint of anger entering his commanding voice, and his feathers began to ripple along the scruff of his neck.

“The stranger obviously hasn’t been taught how to properly ignore your peoples’ pointle-” The griffin began.

“Hey!” He said, loud enough to cut her off, everyone in the room was now staring at him.

“Alright, now that I have your attention I’d like to explain something. I’m here as a friend of Sparky’s, not as a political ally. And besides that I generally don’t like being dragged into politics. I’ve spent too much time killing people to be very good at doing anything but negating negotiations.” Ethan explained calmly.

“I was simply seeking a proper introduction, as is the practice of my people.” Sharp said as his feathers began to lie back down.

“That’s fine. If either of you want to legitimately be my friend, that’s awesome. Hell, the more the merrier! But the second that either of you tries to turn me into a tool, I’ll recede that friendship…violently.” Ethan said, putting extra force on the last word. “Furthermore, I’m also here to protect Sparky from you if one of you gets hungry. Now, I’ll make this warning once and only once. If either of you hurts her I’ll tear your head off your body, spine and all, and affix it to the nearest wall with a pike.” Ethan finished this little speech by casually drawing A Light Shining in the Darkness and slowly sliding a fresh clip into it.

He didn’t know why he did that, it wasn’t as if any of them besides a select few of the Equestrians had ever seen a firearm before, let alone knew what he was doing with it. On the other hand, Ethan had the feeling that anyone could interpret the threat, even with no knowledge of what a gun was. Ethan also had the oddest feeling that Cassandra was going to kill him for borrowing that particular weapon, but she’d told him to use her armory and he’d always wanted to carry it. To Ethan’s and everyone else in the room’s surprise the griffin ambassador began to chuckle.

“Oh you and I are going to get along just fine. I can’t say the same for you and Sharpy there, but I prefer my men straight and to the point.” The griffin continued.

“Are you hitting on me?” Ethan asked, causing Twilight to facehoof.

“No, but I’m available if you’re interested.” The albino griffin replied with a shrug and a slight twinkle in her eye.

“Erhem.” Celestia said, clearing her throat pointedly. “Perhaps we should all sit down and enjoy the meal.” She continued.

“As you wish, Princess. I’m sorry to have been so inconsiderate to my fellow diners.” Sharp said, inclining his head and giving Celestia an extremely deep bow before going back to his seat.

Celestia took her place at the head of the table, and Twilight sat in the open chair next to her. Ethan was stuck between Shining Armor and the blonde unicorn, who was currently shooting him dirty looks for some unknown reason. A group of servants arrived bearing platters of food. Ethan got a large steak that seemed to almost melt in his mouth with every bite, along with a drink of something frothy and apple tasting. His dinner also came with a nice steak knife and a fork. Now that the main excitement of Ethan’s arrival had burned down, Shining turned to look at the man with a small smile on his face.

“Still causing trouble I see.” The unicorn said as he stabbed another piece of his salad with a fork. Around them others at the table had all struck up their own conversations, but Ethan wasn’t listening to them.

“When am I not…wait…shouldn’t you hate me?” Ethan asked in complete confusion, once he remembered that it was Shining who he was talking to.

“I wasn’t really feeling myself back then; to be honest the last time you talked to me I was still wrapped in several layers of mind control spells that were… detrimental to my personality. Thankfully my wife Cadence found them before I became like that permanently.” Shining explained before he took another bite of his salad.

“I’m glad to hear it; I’m going to assume that the pink one is Cadence.” Ethan said, with a tilt of his head towards the pink alicorn, who looked up at the sound of her name.

“That’s right; it’s very nice to meet you.” Cadence said, giving Ethan a large, genuine smile.

“The pleasure is mine.” Ethan said, returning the smile before taking another succulent bite of steak; he had to admit that for a bunch of hay eating herbivores the ponies sure knew how to cook a good steak.

“So, Shining tells me that you’re the reason why Twilight can still walk and see.” Cadence said.

“Well that was more Rothchild then me, but yeah, I helped.” Ethan replied with a modest shrug.

“Still, I have you to thank that my sister in law is still capable of functioning, and for that you have my thanks.” Cadence told him sweetly.

“It was what anyone should do, not that they do most of the time, but it’s what should happen.” Ethan said with a slight scowl.

“Twilight has told us about where you come from. Your home seems very… unpleasant.” Cadence remarked slowly, hoping not to offend him.

“Hell, unpleasant doesn’t even begin to describe the Wasteland. Take the most fucked up place in Equestria, add in a healthy mix of blood thirsty murderers, a few hundred mutants, a few zealous technology hoarders, and enough radiation to shake a stick at and you’ve got the Wasteland.” Ethan said with a mirthless chuckle.

“Well I can certainly see where you picked up your atrocious manners then.” The blonde stallion in front of Ethan commented.

“You have a problem with the way I’m eating?” Ethan asked before popping another bite into his mouth and chewing noisily with his mouth open.

“Gah you are nothing but a savage!” The blonde unicorn said, looking away in disgust.

“I have simply no idea what you’re talking about.” Ethan told him while he drank a bit more of his apple drink and splashed some on the blonde unicorn’s face.

“How dare you!” The pony stuttered as he wiped at his face with his free hoof, frantically trying to clean off the liquid.

“I’m a savage, how could I know any better?” Ethan asked as his fork snapped out and speared one of the unicorn’s tomatoes before biting down on it and letting the juice run down his face, before casually rubbing it off with the sleeve of his duster.

“I am Prince Blueblood, second order of the Equestrian Crown and I will not let a monkey treat me this way!” Blueblood exclaimed angrily.

“And I’m Ethan Smith, what’s your point?” Ethan asked with a grin as he speared another of Blueblood’s tomatoes.

“My point is that you can’t just treat me like this, you son of a whore!” Blueblood said.

“Did you just call my mother a whore?” Ethan asked, narrowing his gaze.

“Did I stutter?” Blueblood asked with a smirk. “And I imagine that your father was a drunken -” Blueblood was cut off mid-sentence as Ethan’s hand closed over his jaw, silencing him.

“The last person to say something like that about either of my parents ended up as a decapitated quadriplegic. Would you care to finish that thought?” Ethan asked dangerously before releasing Blueblood’s jaw.

“You are nothing but a worthless whoreson, whose father was a drunken malcontent!” Blueblood said loud enough to silence all conversation at the table.

“Actually, both of my parents were Doctors.” Ethan replied simply before his fist crashed into Blueblood’s face, sending the Prince rocketing backwards out of his chair and onto the floor. “And if you ever insult them again then I hope the devil will help you, ‘cause God sure as hell won’t.” Ethan continued before he took another bite of steak.

“Guards, seize him!” Blueblood shouted as he staggered to his hooves, a large bruise was beginning to appear on the side of his face from the punch, already standing out quite noticeably from his white fur.

A few of the guards in the room started forward towards Ethan, but then he turned to them and gave them a confident smirk. That look stopped them in their tracks. It spoke of unimaginable violence and a familiarity with death that scared each and every one of them. It promised that they wouldn’t survive any attempt to apprehend the man before them. His blue eyes had hardened into hard glasslike objects that suddenly gave the guards the uncomfortable feeling that if the man wanted to he could kill each and every one of them before they could so much as take a step.

“What are you morons waiting for? I said seize him!” Blueblood shouted at the guards.

“Stand down all of you.” Luna commanded simply, and each and every guard in the room immediately relaxed and returned to their previous posts.

“But Auntie, he punched me!” Blueblood shouted indignantly as he rubbed the growing bruise.

“If you had insulted my sire and dame in that way, I would’ve killed you.” Ambassador Sharp said from his seat near Cadence. Ethan had completely forgotten about the hippogriff during his conversation with Shining and Cadence.

“I actually agree with you for once, Sharpy. Hell, if you’d insulted my mother that way I would’ve eaten you.” Nymira agreed with a chuckle as she sliced off another piece of her meat with a claw before casually eating it, as Blueblood stared at the two diplomats in horrified amazement.

“Nephew, perhaps you should retire to the healers to make sure that that bruise doesn’t get any worse.” Celestia suggested.

“But, Auntie!” Blueblood protested.

“We will discuss it later.” Celestia said with finality. Blueblood was about to argue until he saw the look in his aunt’s eye. It was the look that she reserved for times when the nobles truly irked her.

“Yes, Auntie.” Blueblood said, submitting before he gave the high table a bow and walked out of the room; head held high.

“A prince should not forget himself in such a manner, it is disgraceful.” Sharp said harshly before turning back to his meal with a shrug.

“Well that was fun. I hope our future negotiations will involve more hitting.” Nymira said with a chuckle before she turned back to her meal while Celestia, Luna, Cadence, and Twilight sighed simultaneously.

“Nice punch, I’ve been dying to do that for years.” Shining whispered to Ethan quietly.

“Thanks. I didn’t really hit him that hard but it always feels good to punch a stuck up ass in the face.” Ethan replied with a grin while he wondered what Cassandra was doing.

***

General Susan Murphy sat across from Cassandra, sitting in a comfortable plastic office chair while Cassandra sat in a posh leather spinning one. The office was located just below the penthouse, and had been House’s secondary business office back in the days before the war. The floor was covered by a thick red carpet that Cassandra had spent several thousand caps on, and a desk made of mahogany, also obscenely expensive, separated the two women. A bookshelf covered one wall; while a complete map of the Mojave along with smaller maps of Zion, Big Mountain, and the Divide took up the other. A large glass window sat behind the desk letting light stream in, but from the other side it looked just like the metal that made up the rest of the building. Cassandra had moved to this office because she felt that it made a better impression on guests then sitting in front of Yes Man’s giant smiling face.

Susan’s blonde hair, as always, fell behind her head in a long (for military standards) tight ponytail that reached her shoulder blades. Her blue eyes looked into Cassandra’s green ones with the quiet intensity of someone who had been taught to really look at things before she acted. At the door, two NCR troopers who were both standing rigidly at attention, a pair of assault carbines were held loosely in their grips.

“It’s good to see you again, Susan.” Cassandra said, inclining her head to the younger woman.

“It’s good to see you too, Cassandra.” Susan said, giving Cassandra a brief smile before her face darkened.

“I take it that this isn’t exactly a social visit, is it now?” Cassandra questioned simply.

“Correct,” She began “Something odd is going on near Goodsprings.” Susan said with a deep frown.

“Go on.” Cassandra said, gesturing with her right hand.

“At first it was nothing. The local coyote population disappeared overnight. At first we assumed that they’d just moved on because we didn’t find any bodies, but we scanned the area and found absolutely no coyotes anywhere within a fifty mile radius of our fort. That was unsettling to say the least, but it wasn’t enough to make me worried. Then something much more disturbing happened. You know how difficult it was for us to build our fort, correct?” Susan asked Cassandra, who nodded.

“I did warn you. That entire canyon is a Cazador filled death-trap.” Cassandra answered.

“Yes you did, and if you hadn’t we wouldn’t have been able to set up at all. But here’s the disturbing thing. Every single Cazador in the canyon is gone. Completely gone, without a single trace.” Susan told her. Cassandra was suddenly chilled to the bone despite the hot rays of sunset light shining down on her from the large window behind her.

Nothing could displace Cazadors once they’d decided to nest somewhere. Cassandra had cleared out some nests several dozen times, but the tenacious bugs had always moved right back in. If it weren’t for the fact that they were so damn dangerous Cassandra would respect them, though as it was she’d vowed a personal vendetta against the things after they’d sent her limping back towards Doc Mitchell’s house hours after her recovery. If kind words could tan hides, then Doc Mitchell could’ve made a fortune in the business thanks to his impressive ability to convey just how stupid she’d been, to simply attempt that trail, only hours after she’d woken up from a gunshot induced coma.

“Have you preformed additional checks?” Cassandra asked Susan, who nodded once.

“Yes, we’ve been through at least eight times and we never found a trace.” She answered before turning to her two guards. “Would you two mind finding a better place to wait?” She asked them.

They saluted and walked off in the direction of one of the other room. Susan leaned forward onto the desk and let her calm mask fall away.

“I’m scared, Cassandra. Nothing should be able to dislodge that many Cazadors, I tried everything. Hell, I even used a few mininukes, but they always came back. All that I know is that whatever got rid of them managed to do it without signs of a struggle.” Susan whispered quietly. “I’ve never heard of anything capable of that, not even a pack of Deathclaws.” She added.

“Have you found any clues, whatsoever?” Cassandra asked.

“No.” Susan answered before she stopped to think about it. “Well… now that you mention it the ground looked a little disturbed, almost like a Mole-rat had dug underneath it, but aside from that, I can’t think of anything.” Susan said.

“I’ll look into this, I promise you, Susan.” Cassandra said while her green eyes flared.

“Thank you, Cassandra. I know that you haven’t always agreed with the NCR about what’s best for New Vegas, but I know that you still have a soft spot for your old nation.” Susan told her with a slight smile on her face. Cassandra grimaced.

“It stopped being my nation when it was taken over by blind politicians and idiot generals, no offense.” Cassandra replied.

“None taken.” Susan agreed with a dry chuckle. She didn’t appreciate the direction her country was heading either, but she’d decided to stay the course. “So where is your husband these days?” Susan asked changing topics.

“You wouldn’t believe me if I told you.” Cassandra replied with a smirk.

“Okay, fine. Don’t tell me.” Susan said, rolling her eyes before getting up to leave. “Oh, and by the way there’s a tall man in a First Recon beret waiting for you down in the main casino.” Susan said as she made her way towards the elevator. Cassandra gasped in surprise, there could only be one man that fit that description who would be capable of getting into the Lucky 38 without an appointment.

“Send him up; tell him to meet me in the suite!” Cassandra said excitedly as a large smile broke across her face.

“Sure. You know that there’s only one elevator, right?” Susan asked with a note of confusion.

“I have my ways.” Cassandra answered enigmatically.

“Alright, I’ll send him up.” Susan told Cassandra with a smile as she shook her head at the other woman’s attitude. She called her two guards back to her and they quickly made for the main elevator. Cassandra waited till they were gone before she walked over to the bookcase and reached behind one of the picture frames sitting across it. It was a picture of all her friends and companions standing in front of the Lucky 38 smiling at the camera; the picture had been taken two days after the battle of the dam. Cassandra felt a slight pain of sorrow at the thought. The only three of her friends who had stayed behind were Veronica, Arcade, and Rex. The others had all left to pursue their own goals, including the man who was now on his way up to her room.

Her finger found the hidden crevice easily, and with a slight application of pressure the bookshelf split down the middle and created an opening large enough for Cassandra to slip through. Behind the bookshelf was a small room containing a private elevator that could be used to quickly get between floors. She stepped inside it quickly before pressing the button that stood for her suite.

The ride was smooth and fast, and Cassandra soon found herself in her private bathroom. With a small smile she walked out of the room and into the main hallway just as the main elevator door opened.

Boone stepped out of the elevator with a small grin on his face as he caught sight of Cassandra, and he walked towards her without speaking before he grabbed her and pulled her into a hug. It wasn’t the hug of a lover; no it was the hug that you gave a friend that you haven’t seen in nine months. She felt his strong arms coil around her and she returned the hug with equal strength. Once they’d had enough the two let go of each other and stepped slightly away from each other, both suddenly feeling extremely awkward.

“So how’d your trip go?” Cassandra asked as she walked towards the common room.

“Good, I got a lot of thinking done." Boone replied with a surprisingly happy tone in his voice.

“I would hope so, nine months is a lot of time.” Cassandra said with a dry chuckle before she sat down in one of the chairs around the central table, and offered Boone the one in front of it, which he took.

“Yeah, about that. Sorry I didn’t write, I was kinda busy.” Boone said, rubbing the back of his neck.

“Don’t worry about it; at least I knew what you were doing for the most part.” Cassandra said with a shrug.

“Thanks Cassie, I just needed to get away.” Boone told her with a sigh.

“Like I said, it’s fine.” Cassandra told him again, but inside she felt like an important piece of her had been restored to its proper place.

“So I hear you and Ethan had twins.” Boone said, changing topics.

“Yep, a boy named Ash and a girl named Shade.” Cassandra replied with a smile at the thought of her children.

“I’m glad to hear it, you deserve some happiness.” Boone told her.

“Isn’t that the truth.” Cassandra said, looking at her hands. The Divide still burned in the back of her mind; it was a wound that would never truly leave her.

“What was that General doing here?” Boone asked.

“Something’s happening around Goodsprings, I’m going to be investigating.” Cassandra replied.

“Can I come?” Boone asked.

“Always.” Cassandra told him with a smile. She’d missed the man, and solving a mystery was without a doubt the best way to reconnect. Her thoughts were broken by the sound of the twins wailing. “I’d better help Wadsworth.” Cassandra said, getting to her feet. “Why don’t you get yourself a drink?”

“Don’t mind if I do. Oh, and Cassie?” Boone said as she began walking towards the door.

“Yeah?” She asked as she turned to face him.

“It feels good to be home.” He told her with a smile.

Chapter 4

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Edited by TacoTown and Furta E

Chapter Four

“Well, that was boring” Ethan told Twilight as they walked through the palace halls.

“Boring? Ethan, you punched Prince Blueblood in the face!” Twilight said exasperatedly.

“Yeah, and he didn’t try and fight back. To me that’s boring, Sparky.” Ethan replied with a shrug.

“You know, it really is a good thing that you won’t be involved with any of the negotiations; I don’t think I could deal with the stress of you punching ambassadors.” Twilight told Ethan dryly.

“Hey, I only punch people who annoy me; those two ambassadors don’t seem that bad, really.” Ethan replied with a shrug. “Although I get the oddest feeling that they don’t like each other.” He added.

“Oh, you think?” Twilight asked with a chuckle.

“What’s up with that anyways?” Ethan asked.

“Generations of fighting each other, along with a massive difference in personal philosophies, combined with the fact that both races are naturally violent.” Twilight told him with a shrug and a sigh.

“Would you mind giving me a bit more exposition?” Ethan asked her as he idly fiddled with A Light Shining in the Darkness.

“A long time ago the griffin king insulted the hippogriff king’s honor, something about the size of his country or the color of his wings. Although, knowing the hippogriffs it could’ve been something as minor as not bowing the right way. Anyways, that started a war, which led to another war, which led to yet another war, which led to another fucking war, etc.” Twilight told Ethan, entering lecture mode. “Ever since then the two races have been at an almost constant state of war, and Equestria has the had unfortunate honor to be stuck between them. On the bright side, Tia managed to get them to agree to a truce.”

“I thought you said that this was over land.” Ethan said.

“Well that’s a part of it, too, but I suspect that really they’re just looking for a reason to fight again. They’re bloodthirsty like that.” Twilight replied with a shrug.

“I take it that storming in on negotiations and smashing their heads together until they agree not to fight would be a bad idea right?” Ethan asked Twilight.

“Yes, I think it might be.” Twilight said, rolling her eyes. “Hey, Ethan, want to see something amazing?” Twilight asked unexpectedly.

“Sure, Sparky, I’d love to.” Ethan replied with a grin.

“Alright, close your eyes.” Twilight told him.

“I’m already married, Sparky.” Ethan told her as he consented and closed his eyes.

“Oh, shut up.” Twilight replied before they vanished with a flash of purple light.

They reappeared on top of the palace walls overlooking the city of Canterlot. During the course of the meal, the sun had set and the city had come to life with lights of all colors as the city ponies frolicked in the peace and security provided to them by the eternal watch of Celestia and Luna. A cold wind whipped around Ethan’s face as he opened his eyes and beheld the glorious sight.

“Sparky…” Ethan told her quietly as he leaned against the palace rampart, anything else he would’ve said was lost as the beauty of the city stole his breath away.

“Yeah, it gets me, too.” Twilight said as she looked down at the city.

“I want to go down there.” Ethan told Twilight.

“Why?” Twilight asked, suddenly suspicious. It wasn’t that she didn’t trust Ethan to be a good person; it was that she didn’t trust him not to be an idiot while in public.

“Twilight, I’ve spent my entire life in the Wasteland. The closest we have to a city, outside of California which I’ve never been too, is Vegas. And no offense to Cassandra but that place still has a long way to go before it’s more than just a place to gamble away your fortunes, between dodging the bullets of gangbangers.” Ethan replied. “I want to see what a real city full of people who aren’t constantly watching their backs for someone else’s knife; a place where people can live in harmony.” There was a longing quality to Ethan’s voice that Twilight couldn’t quite describe.

Twilight glanced down at the pipboy attached to her non-metallic foreleg and sighed when she saw the time. She didn’t know how but the pipboy was accurate even in another dimension on a completely different planet. Then she sighed and shook her head.

“Sorry, Ethan, I have a meeting that I have to be at. Things are close enough to war around here at the moment without me skipping out on negotiations to give you a tour. No offense, but I’m not going to let you wander around town by yourself. That’s just asking for a Faust to bitchslap you.” Twilight told him.

“I guess I see your point. I’ll just have to go down there some other time.” Ethan said with a dejected sigh.

“Well… I’m sure that one of my brother’s guards could come with you.” Twilight said rubbing her chin.

“Why not one of your friends?” Ethan asked as he turned his gaze back to the city.

“Honestly, Ethan, it’s because I want someone who can at least punch you if you’re about to do something stupid.” Twilight said flatly.

“You really have no faith in me, do you?” Ethan asked with a chuckle.

“Well, you don’t get the title ‘Crazy Son of a Bitch’ for being rational.” Twilight replied.

“Heh; I guess you’re right.” Ethan told her with a chuckle.

“So want to go back in and find an escort?” Twilight asked.

“Sure, there’s no point in staying up here if I could be down there.” Ethan said, giving the city below them one final glance.

Twilight’s horn flashed and they appeared in front of a large steel door. A crossed sword and shield on it engraved in gold was set into the center, and circling around the symbol were dozens of strange letters engraved in flawless shining silver. Ethan looked at the door for a second before casually drawing A Light Shining in the Darkness and unleashing a full clip. Every single bullet melted before it had even reached the door as it was caught in a combination of dark purple and golden magic.

“What the hell, Ethan?” Twilight shouted, turning to confront the man who was already holstering the pistol.

“Nice shielding.” Ethan said as he scratched his chin. “But I think I know something that should pierc-”

“NO!” Twilight shouted, cutting him off.

“But-”

“NO!”

“Fine, be that way.” Ethan said with a pout.

“What the hell was that?!” Shining shouted as he pushed the doors open from the other side and walked into the hallway. “Oh, let me guess. You had to see if it was bullet proof?” Shining asked Ethan, who nodded.

“It was like dangling a carrot in front of a brahmin!” Ethan told him with a grin.

“I feel like I should be offended by that somehow…” Shining said, trailing off before turning to Twilight. “So, Twiley, what brings you two here?” He asked.

“Ethan wants to see the city, but I have a negotiations meeting to get to so I was wondering if you could get one of your guards to act as an escort.” Twilight replied with a smile.

“Why can’t one of your friends do it?” Shining asked.

“Because. If Ethan’s about to do something stupid, I trust one of your stallions, or mares, to do a better job of stopping him then one of my friends.” Twilight replied before her wrist pinged and she took a glance at her pipboy. “I’ve got to go, thanks, Shiny!” Twilight told her brother before she vanished in a flash.

“So… you want to see the city?” Shining asked after a few seconds of thought.

“Yeah, I promise I won’t kill anyone, if that makes you feel better.” Ethan replied while he scratched the back of his neck.

“I wasn’t all that worried actually. I know that you act like an idiot, but I also know that you’re actually pretty damn smart.” Shining replied with a chuckle. “Just please don’t waste the door’s magic blocking your bullets. We never know when we’re going to need those shields and I don’t want them to be out of charge because you got bored.” Shining added, looking at the pistol on Ethan’s hip.

“Will do.” Ethan told him with a chuckle.

“Thanks. Alright, let’s see if we can get you a guide, preferably one of the Lunar Guard.” Shining said as he led Ethan through the doorway.

“Why the Lunar Guard?” Ethan asked, he remembered something about Shining being the leader of the Solar Guard not the Lunar Guard.

“Because the sun’s set, thus anything that goes wrong, is their responsibility.” Shining replied with a shrug.

“You don’t trust me to behave.” Ethan accused.

“Would you?” Shining asked dryly.

“Well, no. But that doesn’t mean that I like it.” Ethan grumbled.

“Don’t worry, you’ll probably like whoever you get from the Lunar Guard more than anyone in the Solar Guard. They’re more relaxed.” Shining told him as they walked by several white stallions who were polishing their armor. When their commander passed they gave him a salute before returning to their jobs without commenting about the peculiarity of the human following him.

“Hey, Shining, why isn’t anyone commenting on the fact that you have a leather clad six and a half foot tall biped walking behind you?” Ethan asked as they passed another group of guards who were oiling their swords.

“I already gave both guard regiments a lecture on you. You aren’t the oddest thing in Equestria, Ethan, not even close, really, and I’ve told them that you won’t cause too much trouble so they’re going to consider you an extremely dangerous house guest.” Shining told Ethan with a shrug.

“Does that mean I can raid the pantry?” Ethan asked with a chuckle.

“Only if you can get past the staff.” Shining told him.

“I’m sure that that shouldn’t be too hard.” Ethan replied with a smirk.

They made their way through the rest of the Solar Guard barracks in silence. The most notable thing that Ethan could say about it was, well to be honest, the lack of notable things. Each section looked exactly the same. White walls with a gold border made up the surroundings, along with sky blue ceilings with small white smudges here and there at random intervals to simulate clouds. Each room had a row of pristine, white beds running down the right wall, and each one of those had a weapon’s locker and an armor stand next to it. There were only a few dozen rooms, but Ethan quickly began to tune out most of what he was seeing. Shining picked up on this and smiled ruefully. Ethan was in for a bit of a shock when they got to the Lunar Guard barracks.

After another few minutes of walking they arrived at a second door that looked much like the one to the main room, only this one was taken up by a large silver crescent moon that was laced by golden letters. Shining pushed the door open, and strode inside with Ethan right beside him. Much to Ethan’s surprise the Lunar Guard Barracks was much different than that of the Solar Guard.

In the middle of the entrance room was a large pool table where several draconic looking pegasi were busily playing. The walls of the room were a dark blue with flecks of yellow, blue, and red light flicking across them, giving Ethan the disconcerting feeling that he was back on Zeta looking at the galaxy through the bridge windows. The floor of the room was covered by a thick blue carpet that seemed to both suck in and emit light at the same time. A bar ran along the far wall and a bartender was passing drinks along to several guards, a mix of dark colored unicorns and draconic pegasi. However, the biggest change from the previous barracks was the atmosphere. The guards were talking to each other loudly, occasionally yelling to get a point across and interesting music was playing in the background.

“Officer in the barracks!” One of the pegasi shouted loud enough to be heard over the music and conversation. Immediately each and every one of the ponies in the room stopped what they were doing and jumped to attention.

“At ease, boys.” Shining told them. The guards seemed to ripple as they fell back into their activities with what looked like practiced ease.

“Well, this place is snazzy.” Ethan said with a whistle as he looked around the room.

“Yeah, they worked hard on it.” Shining told him with a chuckle.

“Wait. They actually built this place themselves?” Ethan asked in surprise.

“Yeah, that was the deal. When they came to me with the idea for their barracks I shot it down; I told them it was a waste of money. So they told me that they’d build and finance it themselves. I’ve got to say they did a nice job.” Shining said with admiration.

“Thanks, boss!” A nearby pegasus shouted, which set off a resounding round of similar comments.

“So, boss, why’d you come down here? Not that we don’t enjoy your company, or anything, but normally you don’t bother to bring your pets with you.” Another one of the pegasi asked with a chuckle as he flew over to hover in front of Shining and Ethan.

Ethan’s response came before anyone could react. He grabbed the pegasi by the forelegs and slammed him into the ground face first. Ethan hadn’t put that much strength into the slam, mostly because he really doubted that it would help him make friends with the Lunar Guard if he broke one of their member’s teeth in. The other guards looked at Ethan in shock for a few seconds before they slowly got to their hooves and began to walk towards him menacingly. They were interrupted by the sound of laughter from the pegasus on the ground as he got back to his hooves.

“Not bad, not bad at all. That’s exactly what I’d expect from you after all that I’ve heard; not that I’ve heard anything bad of course, but still it’s nice to have a theory work out alright without any serious injury on my part. Hell, a part of me worried that you might actually hurt me, but then again I know that Shining wouldn’t bring you here if it wasn’t for the fact that you probably wouldn’t hurt us. So I decided to go for it, and what do you know, it turned out alright. Oh, and congratulations on punching Blueblood; that idiot makes me want to kick him off the walls sometimes. The name’s Silent Storm, what’s yours?” The pegasus who Ethan had thrown to the ground said, somehow managing not to stop for breath during the entire verbal assault.

Ethan didn’t know why, but he found that he couldn’t be mad at the pegasus. He may have looked half reptile, but there was something quintessentially adorable about him. Maybe it was the way that his red mane moved a bit back and forth while he hovered in front of them. Or maybe it was the way that his eyes almost glowed with excitement as he looked Ethan over. Whatever it was, it reminded Ethan of some of the kids from Little Lamplight. On the bright side, the rest of the guards exchanged a series of tired looks before they went back to what they had been doing; apparently this kind of thing was expected from Silent.

“Ethan Smith, and isn’t your name a bit ironic?” Ethan asked with a chuckle.

“Not at all really, I think my parents were more hopeful than anything else. My sister talks even more then I do and she does it a lot faster. Honestly, I feel a bit bad for them at this point now that my little brother is up to talking and he’s going even faster than I ever did.” Silent replied with a shrug. “So, boss, why’d you bring Ethan here? Is he here to train us and make us better soldiers, or is there something different going on? Oh! I bet he’s here to give us some awesome stuff!” Silent prattled off, turning to Shining.

“Actually, Ethan wants to see the city and I need a guide who can actually keep him from doing something stupid.” Shining said with a shrug.

“Ohh! Can I do it? Huh? Huh? Huh? Come on, please Boss? I’ll give him the best tour in the history of Equestria!” Silent asked Shining, who shook his head.

“Sorry, Silent, but you’re still too young for this job.” Shining told the draconic Pegasus, who pouted mournfully, but then his smile returned in a flash.

“Okay Doki, Bossman, whatever you say!” Then he flew away rapidly, leaving Ethan confused and Shining shaking his head in silent amazement.

“What… what just happened?” Ethan asked after a second.

“You just met Silent; he’s our youngest, and most enthusiastic, member.” A large draconic pegasi with a bleached white mane said with a dry laugh as he landed in front of Shining and Ethan. “Sargent Brighteyes reporting for duty Sir.” The new pegasus told Shining with a salute. “Oh, and thanks for not hurting Silent too badly. The kid needs all the brain cells he’s got” The pegasus added with a nod to Ethan.

“You’re welcome. I just don’t enjoy being called a pet, it’s too close to being called a slave, for my liking.” Ethan replied with a small shrug.

“So, Sir, you need somepony to give Ethan here a tour of the city?” Brighteyes asked Shining, who nodded.

“Yes. Take him around town, show him the sights. Just try and keep him from causing too much trouble.” Shining said with a grin.

“I swear, it’s like no one here trusts me.” Ethan said with a theatrical sigh.

“I wonder why?” Shining said with a smirk. “After all, it isn’t like my sister has been telling the palace about how you kill people every day for a living.” He added.

“Well, I can’t help it if my home revolves around killing things; and speaking of which didn’t I see you killing legionnaires too?” Ethan asked.

“I’m a soldier, at best, you’re an extremely competent idiot.” Shining replied with a chuckle.

“Umm, sir? I hate to interrupt you two love birds, but can we get on with this? I want to show Ethan here a few of the better parts of town and they only operate during a certain time.” Brighteyes asked, interrupting the two’s banter.

“Sure, I’ll leave you in Brighteyes’s capable hooves.” Shining said, giving Ethan a nod before he vanished in a flash.

“Do all unicorns do that or is it only the ones related to Sparky?” Ethan asked, looking at the space where Shining had been standing.

“Who?” Brighteyes asked as he led Ethan out of the barracks.

“Purple unicorn, talks with lots of big words, has a robotic eye.” Ethan elaborated.

“Oh, you mean Twilight Sparkle.” Brighteyes said as he waved to one of the Solar Guard.

“Yeah, that’s what I said.” Ethan replied.

“To answer your question, no. All unicorns can teleport if they bother to learn the spell,but only those specializing in magic or those who are very powerful can use it as casually as those of the Sparkle family do.”

“Would you mind clarifying something for me?” Ethan asked after a few minutes of quiet walking as the two made their way out of the barracks.

“Sure, it’s what I volunteered for when I took this little job.” Brighteyes replied.

“Is Shining the Commander of the Lunar Guard or the Solar Guard?”

“Ah. He’s in charge of both branches; each branch has their own commander, but they both report to him on matters of importance.” Brighteyes answered.

“So, Brighteyes, I know I said that I wanted to see the city, and I do, but I’m feeling the urge for a drink. Do you know any good bars?” Ethan asked changing topics.

“Oh, this is going to be more fun than I thought it would.” Brighteyes told Ethan with a grin and a twinkle in his draconic eyes.

***

They’d managed to get Ethan through the crowds of ponies walking the Canterlot streets rather easily. Equestrians, especially those of the capital, are used to a wide variety of creatures walking the streets. Besides, ponies don’t ask many questions when someone has a Lunar Guard with them. As Shining had said, Ethan was hardly the strangest thing on the planet. Ethan’s eyes had danced as they walked down the streets taking in the sights, everywhere he looked he saw things that he’d seen in the Wasteland. But here they were sparkling clean and instead of skeletons their patrons were living breathing ponies all of whom seemed happy and carefree.

Ethan’s pipboy was having a conniption fit trying to keep up with all the named locations that he was encountering and an insistent ping sounded every other second, drawing an interested look from Brighteyes. Ethan had no idea how it was doing it without the satellite being in the same dimension as he was, but he figured that it wasn’t wise to think about it.

Ethan was having trouble believing the way that the ponies carried themselves. It wasn’t so much that they were peaceful, although that was a part of it as well; he’d seen peaceful parts of the Wasteland after all. Thing about the ponies was that they didn’t think about the peace that they had or what it really meant. They didn’t cast apprehensive looks over their shoulders as they walked through their fellows in the crowds, they didn’t look around analyzing the environment for possible threats, and they didn’t even keep a lookout for good loot!

To Ethan’s Wasteland trained senses the city and the vast amount of ponies inside it was almost overwhelming. In all his life Ethan had never seen more than ten thousand people. In the city he saw that many within the first few minutes of the walk. Not only was the amount of ponies disconcerting, but the sheer size of the place boggled Ethan’s mind. The tallest structure that he’d ever seen was the Lucky 38. Here buildings easily dwarfed the casino, and there were hundreds of them!

Much to Ethan’s surprise, their destination was one of the few buildings that he’d seen so far that was only two stories high. The building was made of grey bricks that formed an overlapping pattern, so that it was impossible to tell where one ended and another began. Four smoke stained windows allowed light to trickle out, and Ethan could hear the sound of music and laughter echoing from within. A sign above the doorway read ‘The Broken Shield’, and in shiny paint displayed a shield being broken in half by a large war hammer.

“Shall we?” Brighteyes asked, turning to Ethan.

“Hell yes!” Ethan replied as he shoved the door of the bar open with a bang and walked inside.

End of Chapter

Alright guys this is an experiment and you’re the lab rats. I’d like you to tell me what you think of this new idea that I had that wouldn’t leave me alone. You can of course completely ignore it but I’d really like some opinions on it if you wouldn’t mind too much.

Preface

Different. It’s a simple word really. Three syllables at the most; the majority of foals and fillies learn what it means by the time they’re ten. But in Equestria, being different isn’t a good thing. Ponies react badly to difference; things that stray from the predictable norms of their life scare and startle them. Sometimes their fear makes them flee, other times it makes them shun, and finally their fear can make them turn to violence. For those who are the most different, these three reactions are most pronounced and pursued with the greatest amount of zeal. I write these words as somepony who has experienced all three of these horrible things, and many more besides in my life. I wish to record them here so that if I pass, then my experiences won’t be forgotten by those I serve and repeated.

Signed, Princess Celestia

Intro

“Is it almost over?” The stallion asked one of the earth pony midwives who were stationed around the door.

His fur coat was an earthy brown, while his mane was black and messy. Both were streaked with mud and dirt as if he hadn’t yet had time to clean himself after his daily exertions in the fields. A grey wool cap sat snuggly atop his head, protecting his ears and skull from the leaching energy of the cold air outside. Dark brown eyes looked out from a face that carried the obvious signs of weariness from many hard years, yet it still possessed a spark of determination that spoke volumes about his character to those who met him.

His name was Sturdy Till; he’d served four years in the Earthpony militia and had fought against several manticores, along with a daring attack on a hydra. During that time he’d earned a reputation for bravery and courage that had even managed to impress one of the pegasi officers assigned to lead them. However, at the moment he was just as frantic as any other husband barred from his wife during the miracle of childbirth.

“The screaming has stopped, that has to mean something!” Sturdy told the midwife, who shrugged.

“Whatever it means; it is not yet time for you to enter.” The midwife scolded.

“But I’m her husband, what if she needs me?” Sturdy asked, his voice filled with concern.

“If you were needed then Midwife Umbilical would call for you.” The midwife told him before going back to ignoring him.

“This is ridiculous! My wife is in there!” Sturdy shouted.

“Your wife is dead.” A harsh voice shouted back from behind the door. Sturdy was shocked into silence as Midwife Umbilical pushed the door open. The severe looking white earth pony mare walked towards Sturdy. Blood covered her hooves and her forelegs in thin streaks. Her silvery mane was soaked with sweat and her eyes were carved into hard spheres of grey granite. “But we have a larger problem.” She stated, shattering the shocked silence.

“What do you mean a larger problem? How can there be a larger problem if my wife’s dead?!” Sturdy asked angrily as he approached the midwife.

“I mean that she died giving birth.” Umbilical told him harshly. “And the larger problem happens to be your… daughter.” The midwife trailed off with a worried look on her normally stern face.

“What’s wrong with her? Please tell me that she isn’t dead too!” Sturdy begged. There were already tears streaming down his face. He may not have seen his wife’s body yet, but if Umbilical said she was dead then she was dead and he had to be ready to protect his new daughter.

“She isn’t dead, but there are… complications.” Umbilical told him, pausing every few words to visibly search for the right thing to say.

That scared Sturdy. Umbilical had had mares die on her before, every midwife had. It was a fact of life even now that they lived in Equestria. If the grizzled mare was at a loss for words, than things were much worse than Sturdy could’ve thought.

“What do you mean, complications?” Sturdy asked.

“She is… a freak.” Umbilical answered slowly.

“A freak?” Sturdy asked in confusion.

“Yes, a freak. She has the wings of a pegasus and the horn of a unicorn. She is also much larger than a foal should be… which is why your wife now lies dead.” Umbilical said with a scowl.

“She has the horn of a unicorn?” Sturdy asked in continued confusion.

“And the wings of a pegasus. She is… remarkable.” Umbilical said in a quiet, thoughtful voice.

“May I see them?” Sturdy asked as a tear rolled down his face.

“Yes, I suppose it’s best for you to see them before we dispose of the bodies.” Umbilical said with a shake of her head.

“But you said that my daughter was alive!” Sturdy protested.

“Yes, but she is a freak. Her wings and horn are most likely vestigial and are almost certainly useless. She won’t live long before she becomes a burden, and with winter coming the village can’t afford another burden. It is either a quick death now or a slow death of starvation later.” Umbilical said with a solemn shake of her head.

“No! If what you say is true then I’ve already lost my wife, you won’t take my daughter to!” Sturdy raged Umbilical violently.

“I must do my duty to the village; I will not take joy in this act if it is of any solace to you.” Umbilical told him with a sigh.

“Let me see her before you decide on anything!” Sturdy said desperately.

“I already said I would.” Umbilical replied with a frown of annoyance on her face. She led Sturdy through the door and into the birthing room.

Sturdy wasn’t capable of making any observations about what the rest of the room looked like, because he was too busy looking at the body of his wife.

Her blue fur and cloud white mane which had stolen his heart ever since he’d been a foal were stained with her own blood and covered in sweat. Her eyes had been closed in respect and her wings had been carefully folded beneath her body. Sturdy’s vision became completely masked by tears as he gazed at his wife’s broken form. She looked so small now that she was dead, not at all like the smiling energetic mare he’d fallen love with. Her name had been Cumulus Breeze. Suckling at her teats was a filly that was completely unfamiliar to Sturdy’s eyes.

A coat of snow white fur covered the filly, and two pristine looking wings grew out of her back while a short horn protruded from her forehead, just barely visible from where Sturdy was standing. However, the most striking thing about the filly was her size. She was bigger than most foals would be by the time that they were a year old. A bright pink mane could already be seen contrasting sharply with the whiteness of her coat. Suddenly, the filly turned away from the body of her mother to look at her father. Startlingly intelligent looking indigo eyes gazed into Sturdy’s, and the stallion knew that he couldn’t let Umbilical kill her. Something about the filly filled Sturdy with a kind of quiet fear, but he pushed that fear back and turned to confront Umbilical.

“You’re not killing her.” Sturdy told Umbilical slowly to make sure that the midwife understood him.

“Look at the size of her fool; she’ll eat ten times what a filly her age normally would. Do you really think you can afford to feed her?” Umbilical asked.

“I’ll find a way!” Sturdy told her with the same look on his face that he’d worn when he’d prepared to face down a manticore alone, and cut off from the rest of his squad.

“Fine, but do not come begging to me for food.” Umbilical told him with a disparaging look. Then her face softened and she sighed. “I’m sorry about Breeze Sturdy, she was a true delight.”

“Thank you.” Sturdy murmured as he bent down to pick up the large foal who struggled gently against him in an attempt to get back to her mother’s teats. “Now what should I name you little one?” He asked the filly. The tears had stopped, and now his face was set with grim determination.

“I would suggest something boring, she’ll need it.” Umbilical suggested.

“How about Celery? Everyone likes celery.” Sturdy asked the little filly, who chose that exact second to coo at him. “Celery it is then.” Sturdy said with a small smile at the adorable filly in his hooves.

“Where will you get the milk?” Umbilical asked.

“The cows of course.” Sturdy replied.

“You really think that they’ll share with you?”

“They won’t let her starve, it’s not their way.” Sturdy told her.

“If you think so Sturdy. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to prepare the body for burial.” Umbilical told him before she pushed past him and began to wet a cloth with fresh water.

“Tell me when you put her in the ground; I’d like to be there.” Sturdy told her.

“Of course.” Umbilical replied without looking up, before giving him a swaddling blanket which Sturdy thankfully wrapped around the small filly. If he hadn’t been so preoccupied with his thoughts, then Sturdy would’ve felt the inner heat emitting from the filly, instead he simply carried her out of the building and into the cold Fall air.

“I hope she lives.” Umbilical said from inside the building. “That stallion deserves to be happy…” Then, she turned back to her work.

Chapter 5

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AN; for the remainder of this story hippogriffs will be described as griffs. I’d pick hippo, but that doesn’t sound very menacing.
Another name for this chapter is spot all the references...

Edited by TacoTown and Furta E

Chapter five

Twilight Sparkle walked out of the negotiations room with a sigh. Nothing had been accomplished… again! Celestia walked beside her with an equal air of annoyance. However, the much older alicorn was much better at not showing it, and only the tell-tale swish of her ethereal tail displayed her growing aggravation.

“Absolutely ridiculous.” Twilight muttered.

“Well my dear, they both want to kill one another. Did you expect this to go easily?” Celestia asked softly.

“No, but I thought that they could manage to at least try and pretend to be working towards a solution.” Twilight replied with a scowl.

“Princess Celestia! We have a situation!” A guard shouted as he approached the two mares.

“What is it, Private Rain?” Celestia asked the pegasus as he stopped breathlessly in front of the two.

“There’s been a fight down at the Broken Shield! Something about a biped singing drunkenly and causing property damage while covered in blood!” Private Rain said as he gasped for breath.

“I’m going to kill him! He had one job!” Twilight shouted before she vanished in a flash.

“Thank you for the news Private, now report to your commander.” Celestia told the pegasus before, with a sigh, she vanished too.

***

Earlier that evening…

Ethan walked into the bar, and then experienced the feeling that anyone who has strode into a bar loudly without thinking about how hard they opened the door experiences. That experience was the feeling of having every single pony, and other assorted races, in the bar staring at him, waiting for an explanation as to why he was standing there letting the thrice damned cold air in like an idiot.

“Oops, my bad, guys. I didn’t know how light the door was…” Ethan said, trailing off with an apologetic look on his face.

“Then shut the door and get a drink already!” Everyone in the bar yelled simultaneously. Ethan smirked and walked through the doorway, followed closely by Brighteyes who politely shut the door behind them. Everyone returned to what they’d been doing, and the band began to play again.

Much to Ethan’s surprise the band consisted of a satyr. A creature that was a human from the waist up and a goat from the waist down, who was playing a set of reed pipes like a pro and dancing jig at the same time. It also consisted of an extremely annoyed looking cow in a black suit singing, and a griffin playing drums. Even more surprising was the fact that they were playing what sounded like Irish pub rock, , they also somehow found a way to make produce the sound of a guitar and several other instruments at the same time. Anywhere else and Ethan may have questioned it, here he just shrugged and made his way to the counter.The large red minotaur standing behind the counter eyed him once and then smiled.

“So what’ll you be having, friend?” The minotaur asked as he polished a mug with a cloth, like every single bartender in existence.

“Hmm… I don’t know, I’m new in town. What can you suggest?” Ethan asked with a grin.

“Well that depends. Do you want to get shitfaced, drunk, or buzzed?” The minotaur asked with a chuckle.

“I’ll take option number two please.” Ethan told him. The minotaur nodded before turning to Brighteyes.

“The same as always, Mac. Oh, and he’s with me.” Brighteyes said with a shrug as he laid a few bits on the counter. The minotaur nodded and scooped up the bits before filling up two large mugs to the top with foamy alcohol and passing them to the two. Ethan took a swig and a grin immediately appeared on his face.

“This stuff is great!” Ethan told the Mac the minotaur, who nodded with a grin.

“I’m glad you like it, it’s my own recipe. It’s ale by the way.” Mac replied with a grin before he left the two to drink.

“So where do you want to go next?” Brighteyes asked Ethan, who shrugged.

“You know, I like it here. I think we should probably stay a while.” Ethan replied.

“Works for me.” Brighteyes replied with a shrug before taking another drink.

“Hey you! The one in the weird coat! Come over here, I want to talon wrestle you!” A rather drunk sounding griffin shouted at Ethan.

“Bring it on, feathers!” Ethan shouted back as he pushed off of the bar and began to walk purposely towards the griffins with his mug of ale held loosely in his left hand.

“Oh sweet merciful Luna!” Brighteyes sighed before he took off after his companion.

Ethan sat down at the round table opposite the griffin, who was a rather large brown specimen. The griffin plopped his left elbow up on the table, offering Ethan the use of his right hand. Ethan smiled and gladly accepted the offer by placing his right elbow on the table and extending his hand. The griffin took the hand and the shook quickly before they began to strain against one another. During this time, the table had gained quite a crowd who had gathered round to see what the new guy could do.

Ethan’s arm descended towards his side of the table under the strength of the griffin’s power. The onlookers began to become disappointed as it looked like the newcomer was going to lose in a matter of seconds. That disappointment disappeared after the first minute of watching the griffin attempt to force Ethan’s hand onto the table. Ethan’s hand stayed unmoving four inches above the table and a large smirk crossed his face, infuriating the griffin to new levels of drunken frustration.

“Can I start now?” Ethan inquired as he nonchalantly took a drink from his mug with his free hand.

“Be my guest.” The griffin said angrily as he struggled to move Ethan’s hand. Ethan’s hand suddenly shot forward, taking the griffin’s with him until it was merely an inch above the table.

Then, with the tenderness of a family member, Ethan slowly touched the back of the griffin’s hand to the table. The onlookers let out a wild whoop of excitement, and Ethan got up and bowed before heading back towards the bar. He was interrupted halfway there by the chair which suddenly crashed into his back, splintering into several pieces. Ethan turned slowly to see the griffin, looking very confused at the sight of his opponent still standing. A wide smile crossed Ethan’s face.

The band suddenly began to play another song.

“Oh, this is going to be fun!” Ethan shouted before he charged the griffin. The bar, as all bars do, erupted into wild cheers before the inhabitants threw themselves at each other with eager abandon.

Ethan reached the griffin and sent a punch flying into the side of the birdlike cheek. The griffin fell backwards, but reached out and grabbed Ethan, taking the man with him and throwing him into the wall with a wild laugh. Ethan landed head first, but it didn’t keep him down and he was back on his feet seconds later, now armed with a chair.

Brighteyes was busy ducking under thrown beer mugs and keeping a group of extremely drunk earth ponies from shattering his jaw with extremely uncoordinated, if extremely powerful, punches.

Ethan smashed the chair into the griffin’s head, shattering it. But the griffin shrugged it off and punched Ethan in the stomach, sending the man stumbling backwards. Then, a large purple minotaur made a punch at the griffin who dodged to the left and sent an undercut to the minotaur’s jaw… and did absolutely nothing. The griffin was forced to retreat as the minotaur advanced. Suddenly, Ethan jumped onto the minotaur’s back and brought his fist crashing down against the back of the minotaur’s head sending it crashing to the ground. The griffin and Ethan nodded to each other respectfully before they reached for their next weapons; if anyone was going to hurt their dance partners it would be the two themselves.

Nearby, Brighteyes was standing back to back with a sky-blue blonde pegasus mare as the two fought off a group of attackers who were utilizing barstools.

“So-” The mare began as she ducked underneath an incoming stool and punched the opposing mare in chest sending. “-after this is over why don’t we go back to my place and bang?”

“I feel like I know you from somewhere.” Brighteyes replied as he kicked a stallion in the balls.

“Well, I am very famous.” The mare replied with a chuckle.

Ethan’s ale mug sailed into the griffin’s face, covering him with the potent alcohol. But he didn’t seem to notice that so much as he noticed the waste of such good ale.

“Why did you go and do that? That was perfectly good ale!” The griffin shouted in rage before he tackled Ethan and crashed the man into the ground.

Ethan responded by kneeing the griffin in the stomach, sending the winged creature flying into the ceiling. Ethan rolled to his feet just in time to avoid the griffin, who smashed into the floor fist first. Ethan struck out with his fist and nailed the griffin in the chest with a punch that sent him reeling to the side.

“I’ve got it! We went to Westhoof together!” Brighteyes shouted as he evaded a thrown mug.

“Yep. So, want to bang?” The mare asked with a chuckle before she sent a griffin to the ground with one punch.

“Sure, but first I’ve got to get that guy over there home safe.” Brighteyes replied with a smile on his face as he shook his head at Ethan.

The two combatants were growing weary of their fight at this point, and turned to the only thing that there was left to do. They each grabbed another mug of ale from a nearby table, downed them in one quick gulp, simultaneously smashed their mugs against the tables with a matching crash, and set off to find someone else for them to fight.

Three black hippogriffs entered the bar and were quickly caught off guard by what they saw; and then they exchanged an eager glance and charged into the fray with loud shrieks of excitement. Ethan looked up in time to see the one of the large hippogriffs charging him, and quickly rolled to the side letting the griff pass easily before rolling back to his feet and sending his leg whipping out at the griff who was charging again, catching it in the chin. The griff laughed and sent one of its rear hooves slamming into Ethan’s chest, causing the man to stagger.

His griffin companion leapt to his defense and unleashed a magnificent combo that ended with an uppercut. Ethan could’ve sworn that he saw flames trailing the punch, although that could’ve just been a combination of the ale and the slight concussion that he was developing. The griff was thrown off his rear hooves, and Ethan’s griffin ally steadied Ethan with a free talon. Ethan nodded his thanks before turning to find that a black insectiod creature with glowing blue eyes was diving at him. Ethan was immediately reminded of his rather traumatic first encounter with cazadors (A word to the wise. Don’t charge into a cazador nest naked on a bet. It hurts… a lot.), and grabbed the creature by the skull in midair. He then smashed its head into a nearby table, causing the creature to go limp in his hands.

Unbeknownst to Ethan, changelings had been admitted to Canterlot on the provision that they didn’t do anything illegal such as feed on non-consenting ponies, not that he would’ve cared much at the moment. What he would’ve been interested in however was the fact that changelings travel in groups of ten.

“What the hell?” Ethan said in surprise as nine copies of one of the nearby mares charged him simultaneously. Ethan then did the only thing that someone can do when being charged by nine identical female clones. “So which one of you is the prettiest?” He asked them. They all stopped, completely stunned.

“I am, obviously.” The lead mare said confidently.

“No, I am!” Another shouted as it charged the lead changeling. All nine identical mares were soon very much preoccupied.

“Works every time.” Ethan said with a smirk before he turned to find his griffin ally being attacked by the two remaining griffs. Ethan charged one from behind, and landed on top of it as they fell to the floor. The griff slashed out with one taloned fist, tearing through the front of Ethan’s riot gear and drawing a few drops of blood. “How the hell did that happen?” Ethan asked the griff, who shrugged and punched the man in the face.

"This is getting ridiculous!” Brighteyes shouted as he smashed a mug into an oncoming foe’s skull.

“I hope you have energy left after this.” The mare commented with a chuckle.

Ethan responded to the punch to the face by slamming his elbow into the griff’s chest, and was rewarded by a surprised outpouring of breath. Ethan rolled off of the griff and leapt back to his feet, only to be thrown to the ground again thanks to the body of his griffin ally landing on him. The last remaining hippogriff walked towards them; he was much bigger than the other two and was currently grinning wildly.

“Do you think we can take him?” the griffin asked Ethan.

“Hell the fuck yes!” Ethan said with a wild grin of his own as he helped his ally back to his paws and charged the large griff. The griff didn’t seem to be expecting the head on charge, and he was obviously taken by surprise as Ethan’s fist slammed into his chest. The griffin followed this up by sending one his leonine paws kicking into the griff’s stomach, sending it toppling over backwards, but not before the griff’s front claws swept out wildly looking for support. The claws tore into Ethan’s riot gear reducing the front to shreds, much to Ethan’s grief, along with tearing open several large gashes across Ethan’s chest that began to leak blood.

The band finished playing and the bar fell silent. All the other fighters besides Brighteyes and the mare were now unconscious, leaving Ethan and the griffin standing panting in the center of the mess.

“Ethan.” Ethan said, extending his hand to the griffin.

“Gyvon.” The griffin replied with a chuckle.

“Nice to meet you.” Ethan told him

“And you too, let’s do this again sometime.” Gyvon said, inclining his head

“Yeah, you name the time and the place, I’ll be there.” Ethan replied with a smile.

“You know, we should probably go befor-” Brighteyes began before there was a bright flash of light and Twilight Sparkle flashed into existence in front of Ethan, and she was PISSED!

“Hey, Sparky, what’s up?” Ethan asked while his chest healed.

“Ethan, please shut up; I’m about five seconds from throwing you off the mountain.” Twilight requested with that kind of calm voice that when most people hear it their brain start to tell them to shut the hell up. Ethan being Ethan, he completely ignored that part of his brain.

“Geeze, Sparky, you look a little mad at the moment.” Ethan commented as he reached for one last mug of ale that had somehow managed not to be drained, shattered, or used as a weapon and took a drink.

“Mad, you think I’m mad? No Ethan, I’m not mad, I’m absolutely FURIOUS!” Twilight shouted as purple light began to flow around her body. Whatever would’ve come next was stopped as Celestia appeared in a flash of white, looked around herself for a second, sighed, and then tapped Twilight gently on the forehead with her horn. The purple unicorn crumbled to her knees and Celestia tenderly levitated her onto her back before turning back to Ethan and Gyvon.

“Ethan, I’m going to be confining you to the palace until further notice. Griffin, I don’t know you so leave before I do. As for you Sergeant Brighteyes, I expected better fr- is that Cloudkicker?” Celestia asked, suddenly cutting herself off.

“Yep, want to bang?” The mare standing next to Brighteyes asked.

“I’m spoken for already, thanks though; I take it that you’re taking him home with you?” Celestia asked gesturing towards Brighteyes.

“That’s the plan.” Cloudkicker replied.

“Have fun then.” Celestia told them before turning back to Ethan. “Anyways, Ethan, you’re being confined to the palace until I declare otherwise”

“Alright, I’m fine with that.” Ethan replied with a grin then he turned back to the bar where Mac was calmly cleaning a glass. “Thanks Mac!” Ethan called before he, Celestia, and Twilight disappeared leaving four conscious people in the bar. There was a moment of awkward silence before Gyvon marched over to Mac and said.

“I’ll have three mugs of ale for myself and my friends here; I think we’re going to need it.”

“Yep.” Mac replied simply as he began to fill the mugs.

Chapter 6

View Online

Edited by TacoTown and Furta E

Chapter six

Ethan flashed back into existence in the middle of Celestia’s bedroom, along with Celestia and Twilight, who still lay unconscious across Celestia’s back.

“Are you alright Ethan?” Celestia asked as she quickly ran her violet eyes over the man. He had several deep gashes running across his chest, and they were bleeding profusely, staining the carpet of Celestia’s room. She sighed; it was almost time to get them cleaned again anyways…

“Yeah, why wouldn’t I be?” Ethan asked in confusion.

“I suppose that the slash marks running across your chest would be a good reason.” Celestia replied dryly. Ethan looked down at his chest and poked a finger into his chest’s geography.

“Oh right, I forgot about that.” Ethan said with a chuckle as he reached into his pocket and withdrew a syringe. He stabbed the needle into his chest without hesitation and pulled the plunger. Then with casual ease he withdrew the syringe and pocketed it. “That should help things. It’s weird my body automatically heals all life threatening injuries, such as broken bones and organs, within a few seconds. But little things like this it heal at a much slower pace.” Ethan said with a shrug as he absently poked at the flesh that was quickly covering the gashes. “Of course, that’s what I have stimpacks for.” He added with a grin.

Celestia looked at the man who was standing in front of her with barely contained shock. Twilight apparently hadn’t been exaggerating when she said that Ethan was hard to kill. He was currently shrugging off wounds that would kill the average pony in a matter of minutes if left unattended as they had been in Ethan’s case.

“I don’t know what I’m going to do about my armor though, this stuff is practically priceless back in the Wasteland and I can’t imagine that you have any bullet proof riot gear here in Equestria do you?” Ethan asked Celestia as he looked down at his shredded clothing in dismay.

“No, I don’t believe that we have that here.” Celestia said as she raised an eyebrow at Ethan.

“Gah, this was my only change of clothes and I can’t go walking around with a hole in my shirt; that just wouldn’t fit my personality. I suppose that I could go naked, this is a nudist society after all…” Ethan said, trailing off as the idea struck him.

“Perhaps that wouldn’t be the best idea. In fact, I have had a better one. Why don’t you ask Rarity to make you an outfit? She’s an exceptional designer and I’m sure that she could make an outfit worthy of an adventurer such as yourself.” Celestia suggested quickly. Twilight had informed her about Ethan’s ‘prestigious’ member, and she didn’t think that the palace staff could handle it. Luna added another layer to that particular equation that Celestia didn’t particularly feel like dealing with at the moment.

“Now there’s an idea. What time is it anyways?” Ethan asked.

“A little after eight. I’m sure that she’ll still be awake.” Celestia told Ethan, who nodded to himself and looked at his pipboy; it had suddenly gained a new waypoint.

“Thanks Ma’am. By the way, is Sparky going to be okay?” Ethan asked, looking at Twilight who Celestia had transferred to the bed while they were talking.

“She’ll be fine; I just thought it best to temporarily knock her out before she tore down the bar.” Celestia told Ethan with a shrug.

“Great. By the way, I’ve changed my mind. I’d like to get some sleep before I do anything else, do you have a spare room where I can stay?” Ethan asked.

“Ethan, this is a palace.” Celestia said flatly.

“So that’s a yes, right?” Ethan asked with a chuckle.

“I’ll put you in the Garden Suite; it’s a room that overlooks the palace gardens and it should be big enough for you. I’ve also asked for one of the alicorn sized beds to be put in it so that you’ll be comfortable.” Celestia answered.

“Thanks. I can find my way there by myself if you want to stay with Sparky.” Ethan replied with a grin as a new waypoint appeared on his pipboy.

“I don’t know if I should let you go alone, your behavior tonight didn’t quite manage to instill me with confidence in you, even with a guard.” Celestia told him, narrowing her eyes slightly.

“I didn’t do anything that bad!” Ethan protested.

“In my limited time to observe the building it looked as if you had reduced every piece of furniture to twigs, incapacitated several dozen ponies, and if I’m not mistaken I also saw three hippogriffs on the ground as well. I’m beginning to think that Twilight was wrong to invite you here.” Celestia told him harshly.

“I’m getting the distinct impression that you don’t like me.” Ethan replied.

“You punched my nephew in the face.” Celestia told Ethan flatly.

“He insulted my parents, he’s lucky I only punched him.” Ethan growled.

“It was a slight, nothing more. Certainly no reason to violate his honor in such a way.” Celestia told Ethan.

“No one. Talks badly. About my parents.” Ethan told her evenly as he stared into her violet eyes.

“It is a common enough insult, why did you react so badly to it?” Celestia asked changing subjects slightly.

“Because my mother and father were scientists who died fighting for what they believed in, and both of their deaths were my fault.” Ethan told her with a small sigh as he turned his gaze back to the ground.

“What happened?” Celestia asked, softening her tone.

“My mother died in childbirth, and my father was murdered right in front of me.” Ethan replied with a frown.

“I’m sorry to hear that Ethan, but that doesn’t give you the right to go around punching nobility in the face.” Celestia told him.

“Ma’am, with all due respect nobility is worthless. If you’re in charge of something as important and large as a country then you damned well better be capable of defending yourself. If not, then you’ll be kicked off of your throne the second that someone stronger comes along.” Ethan replied with a scowl.

“That isn’t how things work here in Equestria.” Celestia said.

“Oh really now, it isn’t?” Ethan asked as his hands suddenly darted towards the knife at his waist. With a single move he had the long, blue bladed bowie knife in the air, aiming straight towards Celestia’s right eye. The blade was stopped several centimeters in front of the eye in a golden magical aura. Celestia regarded him with hard violet eyes as her mane began to swirl around her angrily.

“That. Was. A. Mistake.” Celestia told him before she grabbed Ethan in a powerful golden aura, holding him completely immobile in front of her. “If you were not a guest then I would throw you off of the mountain; do not tempt me again.” Celestia said as she stared into Ethan’s intense blue eyed gaze. She released him from her magical field and Ethan landed on his feet.

“So the strongest don’t rule here?” Ethan asked with a chuckle as he retrieved his knife from where it had fallen on the floor. Celestia rounded on him.

“Let me be very clear about this Ethan. I love my little ponies. I love them so much that it hurts sometimes; and if you cause a war… Well let’s just say that it would be a very good idea for you to find somewhere very dark to hide.” Celestia told the man in front of her.

“With all due respect Ma’am, you can kiss my ass.” Ethan replied before swiveling on his heel and walking out of the room, leaving Celestia scowling after him.

Once the man was gone Celestia lay down on the bed with a long sigh. She hadn’t been that angry in years; hell, she hadn’t been that angry in centuries… What was going on? This wasn’t like her at all, what had she been thinking? Celestia shook her head to clear it. There was something going on here and she didn’t like it, not at all.

Ethan walked casually down the corridors of the palace and arrived in his new suite without incident. He looked out at the garden below him, and thought that he saw a flash of light somewhere among the greenery. Then a wave of exhaustion hit him and he stumbled over to the bed before he fell into it with a contented smile on his face; it had been a good day.

***

The next morning Ethan awoke in his suite with a minor headache, but it passed quickly thanks to his time spent as a partyboy. He didn’t particularly think that Celestia, or Twilight for that matter, would want to see him after last night so instead he pulled on his ruined duster and walked out onto the balcony overlooking the garden. It was a peaceful, green looking place and Ethan felt like taking a little time to relax, so he did what any right minded individual would do. He jumped.

***

Princess Cadence sat under a tree, watching her son play among a nearby patch of flowers. He was an adventurous little unicorn with a blue mane flecked with spots of pink and a white coat. His name was Shining Star and he was already the darling of the entire castle.

“Hey mama, what’s that?” The colt asked in an adorably cute voice as he pointed in the air. Cadence followed his hoof until she spotted what he was pointing at.

“Oh, that’s just Ethan falling toward- Oh that isn’t good!” Cadence shouted as she grabbed Star in her pink magic and pulled him close to her. Half a second later Ethan impacted on the ground a few feet in front of them, sending dirt and grass flying in several directions; there was also the sickly sound of breaking legs.

“I may have misjudged the height of that balcony.” Ethan said with a groan as his legs began to heal.

“Lovely weather we’re having, isn’t it.” Cadence asked dryly as she walked towards Ethan with Star sitting on her back. “Although I don’t remember the pegasi mentioning that it was going to be raining men…”

“The weather is hard to predict like that sometimes.” Ethan replied with a small chuckle as he massaged his legs where they’d healed.

“Mama, who’s that?” Star asked from Cadence’s back, catching Ethan’s attention for the first time.

“Ethan Smith, aka The Lone Wanderer, at your service kid.” Ethan said, giving the colt a goofy grin and a little bow.

“You’re funny.” The colt giggled.

“Thanks kid. You’re not too bad yourself.” Ethan replied with a smile.

“So I heard from Ambassador Sharp that you got into a fight with several of his employees last night.” Cadence told Ethan.

“Yeah, and those bas-” Ethan began until he saw Cadence’s frown and changed his words “Yeah, and those base born blighters ruined my armor.” He finished with an unhappy frown down at his torn armor.

“Well, I think you’ll be happy to know that they were already reprimanded severely for their behavior. Hippogriffs aren’t supposed to get drunk outside of their kingdom, but apparently those three had been drinking for several hours before they came to your tavern. Ambassador Sharp sends his ‘dearest apologies for the awful breach in your honor’ that his men caused you and he promises to ‘repay any hardships that were bestowed upon you by the reckless talons’ of his people.” Cadence told him.

“So he’ll pay me for my replacement stuff?” Ethan asked.

“Yes. Now onto more pressing matters such as what kind of idiot jumps off of a perfectly good balcony.” Cadence said narrowing her eyes.

“But mama, you’re not supposed to say the ‘I’ word.” Star protested from Cadence’s back.

“He’s right you know. Those kinds of words are very hurtful.” Ethan added as a smirk crossed his face and he winked at the colt who smiled, oblivious to his mother’s irritated frown.

“The point is Ethan, that you almost crushed my son.” Cadence said, nodding towards the colt on her back. A pained look crossed Ethan’s face.

“I did…” He said, shock in his eyes as he swept over to Star, making sure that the colt was unharmed.

“Yes, you did.” Cadence told him harshly, causing Ethan to flinch slightly at the words. Cadence was shocked. According to Twilight, Ethan was fairly carefree about most things involving death, but apparently the thought of hurting her colt hurt him. “I’m just saying that you need to look before you leap.” Cadence added gently.

“I, I’m sorry. I just didn’t think that there would be anyone down here.” Ethan said haltingly.

“It’s fine, no harm done. Just think about those beneath you next time you want to jump off of something tall.” Cadence said, giving the man a smile, watching the worry drain away from Ethan’s face.

“Thank you, I’ll remember that.” Ethan replied with a smile and a nod. “Now if you’ll both excuse me I need to put some distance between myself and the palace. I think I may have made Sparky mad at me, and I don’t want to be around when she wakes up…” Ethan said before he trailed off.

“Who’s Sparky?” Star asked.

“Your father’s sister.” Ethan replied.

“Oh, you mean the purple unicorn who uses big words that make mommy frown.” Star said.

“Yep, that’s Sparky; make sure that you call her that from now on.” Ethan told the colt with a grin. “Now, like I said. I’ve got to go, but it was awesome meeting you little guy.” Ethan told Star. He gave Cadence a nod and a wave to Star before he set off towards the denser part of the garden.

Ethan walked along one of the garden paths aimlessly for around an hour, until he was stopped by an unexpected voice that seemed to be talking to itself.

“Don’t go near the human, don’t approach the human, bah. I’m Discord, I shouldn’t listen to Tia when she’s in a tizzy, the poor mare barely knows what time of day it is.” The voice said grumpily. “After all, it isn’t as if I’d do anything to him, I just want to meet the man, he sounds interesting and very, very chaotic.” The voice continued. “Just my type of guy really, Tia is so boring…” Ethan walked through a group of trees and found himself standing in front of a large waterfall. Standing in front of said waterfall was the oddest creature that Ethan had ever seen.

“Well now I can officially say that I’ve seen fucking everything.” Ethan said with a chuckle; the creature rounded on him and Ethan couldn’t help himself. He burst into laughter at the shear impossibility of the creature.

“Would you quit that? It’s hard enough to keep up your dignity after being turned to stone without being laughed at by a hairless ape.” Discord told Ethan in an annoyed tone.

“Oh, I’m sorry. Am I offending you?” Ethan asked with a smirk.

“Not really, it’s just that if someone going to be laughing at someone I prefer to be the one doing the laughing.” Discord replied with a smirk.

“Oh, so you’re a bully.” Ethan said with a dangerous smile as he lightly fingered A Light Shining In the Darkness at his side.

“I’m a god.” Discord replied flatly.

“And I don’t like bullies.” Ethan told him, drawing his pistol and firing a shot at Discord’s forehead. The bullet passed right through and slammed into the rocks behind the waterfall, burying itself deep.

“You done?” Discord asked as he tapped a long clawed finger in a bored fashion against his other arm.

“Meh, I could continue, but I have the oddest feeling that it wouldn’t do anything.” Ethan said with a shrug.

“Bravo. You sir, must be a genius.” Discord told him slowly, clapping his hands together.

“Thank you, you’re very kind.” Ethan said with a smile.

“Discord.” Discord said, offering his intangible hand to Ethan.

“Ethan.” Ethan replied, but withholding his hand. “Sorry, but I don’t shake hands with incorporeal entities. In my experience it gives them access to your brain, which is something that I really don’t have time for.” Ethan told Discord, who withdrew his hand with a slightly annoyed look on his face.

“Well now that introductions are over I suppose you want to talk to me about something bothering you, don’t you?” Discord asked as his voice literally dripped with sarcasm.

“Not particularly, I was just walking through the garden and heard you talking to yourself so I decided to see what was going on.” Ethan told him with a shrug.

“…Really?” Discord asked in confusion.

“Yeah, I’m pretty good at the moment as far as things bothering me go.” Ethan told him with another shrug.

“Thank Faust; you have no idea how annoying it is that the only time I get to have conversations with people is when they want me to help them with their emotional problems. ‘Oh Discord we hate you but you always give such good advice!’ I should start charging five bits a pop.” Discord said, throwing his hands into the air and rolling his eyes.

“You’re incredibly bored aren’t you?” Ethan asked as he took a seat on a nearby log.

“Oh, incredibly.” Discord said with a slight sigh.

“Well, it was nice talking to you but if I keep my stomach waiting any longer than it already has it’s going to revolt.” Ethan said with a shrug as his stomach roared like a caged lion.

“Oh very well then, just when things were getting interesting.” Discord said with a sigh.

“See you later then.” Ethan called as he strolled away.

“What a strange creature.” Discord said before shrugging and going back to doing absolutely nothing.

***

“Has anyone seen Ethan this morning? I think I may have scared him earlier…” Twilight asked before trailing off as she scanned the breakfast table for the sight of her human friend. She asked for two reasons. One because she was feeling slightly guilty for blowing up at Ethan (even if it was completely and totally deserved), and two because she didn’t want him wandering around without an escort.

“Sparky, you should know by now that it takes more than an angry purple unicorn to scare me.” Ethan said as he entered the room. “Well, except when you’re angry enough to rip someone’s leg off and then stab them in the eye with it; that’s pretty damn scary.” Ethan added with a smirk. That elicited several shocked gasps from the table. Sitting around Twilight were her five friends plus Celestia, Luna, Shining Armor, Cadence, and Blueblood. The gasps had come from her friends, along with Blueblood who turned towards Twilight in disgusted shock.

“Twilight did what?” Rainbow Dash asked, looking at her purple friend with renewed interest.

“She ripped the leg off of a cybernetic killing machine and stabbed her through the eye with the jagged end of the leg. I’m surprised that she or Shining hasn’t told you guys by now.” Ethan replied with a shrug.

“There were things that I didn’t really want them to know Ethan.” Twilight said with a slight scowl.

“Oh… my bad.” Ethan said, looking slightly guilty for a few seconds. “By the way, Sparky what happened to my bag? I think I left it lying around somewhere…” Ethan said before trailing off as he caught sight of the food on the table. Before Twilight could respond Ethan had commandeered the open seat next to Luna and grabbed a plate of waffles. He then pulled out a small flask of whiskey and poured himself a glass. “The breakfast of champions.” Ethan told the rest of the table as they eyed the meal he’s prepared.

“Is that whiskey?” Luna inquired as she looked at the cup.

“Yep. It’s been watered down pretty well so it won’t have any real effect on me.” Ethan replied as he took a sip of the liquid.

“Might I have some?” Luna asked with a grin as she held up her own glass.

“Of course my lady.” Ethan replied with a smirk as he poured the liquid into her glass. Luna took a sip and an odd look crossed her face.

“I can’t tell if I like it or not. It’s old, there’s no doubt about that. But there’s an odd taste to it.” Luna said as she took another sip.

“Well, it is two centuries old.” Ethan offered around a mouthful of syrup covered waffles.

“That would explain it.” Luna said with a chuckle.

“Anyways, Ethan you left your bag in my friends room, and I took the liberty of bringing it down to breakfast with me.” Twilight told him as she pulled the bag out from under the table with her TK and set it down next to where Ethan was sitting.

“Thanks Sparky.” Ethan told the unicorn with a grin before he cut off another large slice of waffle off and popped it into his mouth.

Blueblood scowled at him from the other end of the table, but Ethan ignored him. If the prince wanted to say something than he’d say it. And if it was offensive, then Ethan would punch him harder than he had last time. A loud commotion filled the dining hall and three familiar dark hippogriffs marched into the hall, being led by Ambassador Sharp. Once they reached the table all four bowed deeply to each and every person at the table, but as Ethan began to rise to return the bow Sharp stopped him with a quick talon swipe.

“No, that is not necessary. I have brought before you the three of my people who dishonored themselves and yourself through their actions. Their fate is in your hands. Although I would prefer not to lose any of my kinsmen, if you decide that that is their fate then they shall gladly fall upon their swords.” Sharp said with a slight sigh.

“Hmm…” Ethan said as he scratched his chin while he looked over the three hippogriffs in front of him.

“Princess, you can’t possibly approve of this!” Rarity protested in shock.

“Yeah, that’s not how we do things in Equestria!” Applejack added.

“This is their culture, as much as I wish it wasn’t so it is what it is.” Celestia said with a sad shake of her head.

Ethan got up from his seat and walked towards the three hippogriffs, who had bent their heads and were currently engaged in a staring contest with the floor. He stopped in front of them and began to pace back and forth, slowly looking each of them over. Then he went back to his bag by the table and rummaged around for a few seconds before he pulled out three small metal boxes. Ethan returned to his positions in front of the hippogriffs, and then handed them each a box and nodded for them to open them. The hippogriffs opened them slowly until the smell hit them, at which point they quickly pulled the lids off of the boxes. Inside each one was a perfectly cooked brahmin wellington.

“Those boxes are refrigerated, so those should still be fine to eat. Anyways, my wife made them for me but I’d say that you three need them more at the moment.” Ethan said with a chuckle before he turned back to Sharp. “I don’t kill people unless I have to, and I definitely won’t make someone commit suicide over something as pointless as them tearing my duster.”

“Then you have my thanks for your mercy Ethan. However, I am now further indebted to you.” Sharp told Ethan with a cock of his eagle-like head.

“Alright, I can fix that.” Ethan said with a grin.

“What did you have in mind?” Sharp asked quizzically.

“Well, first off you pay whoever it is that’ll be creating my new outfit, because I can’t really wear this like it is.” Ethan said, gesturing at his torn riot gear.

“That can be done easily.” Sharp said with a nod.

“Good. The second thing I want is to know how your claws managed to penetrate the armor.” Ethan said.

“It’s not very complex; over the years our talons have developed the ability to sheer through just about anything less than six inches thick.” One of the other hippogriffs replied around a mouthful of meat.

“Oh, it’s natural. Alright then, I was worried for a minute. Hmm, what else… Ah yes, I want you to attempt to work for peace between yourselves and the griffins.” Ethan told Sharp.

“I will not promise anything. However, given the debt that my people owe you, I shall at the very least attempt to not kill that kitten brained fool.” Sharp told Ethan with a slight sigh.

“I prefer lion hearted, thanks. But you’re not exactly the most perceptive hen in the coop, are you Sharpy?” Ambassador Nymira said as she entered the room with a chuckle. Ambassador Sharp rounded on her and in a low predatory growl said.

“If I was not honor bound against it I would rip out your pathetic entrails and feast upon them.”

“Oh there it is; that’s the famous hippogriff temper acting up.” Ambassador Nymira said with a chuckle as she moved her face closer to Sharp’s so that they were practically touching.

“Can you two go make out somewhere else, preferably somewhere soundproof?” Ethan asked as he casually shoved the two apart.

“Touch my beak to hers? I’d rather die.” Sharp said with an incredulous glance towards Ethan.

“I think you might like it Sharpy. After all, you hippogriffs have always favored different species, especially cattle if I recall…” Nymira told him with a smirk.

“Well, you are rather fat.” Sharp shot back, causing Nymira to release a catlike hiss of indignation.

“Please, can we try and keep things civil? It’s too early in the day for violence.” Celestia asked with a slight groan.

“Yeah, save the violence for after lunch.” Ethan told them with a chuckle.

“Fine. We shall recommence negotiations after lunch.” Sharp told Nymira, who smiled silkily at him before she slunk out of the room, putting extra emphasis on her hips with each step. Sharp and the other hippogriffs left a few moments later, leaving the room empty except for Ethan and the ponies.

“Those two are so into each other.” Ethan said with a chuckle.

“Are you insane?” Blueblood asked.

“There’s a very high probability.” Ethan replied with a large grin.

Chapter 7

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Edited by TacoTown

Chapter 7

Once breakfast was finished, Ethan accompanied Twilight as they walked down the hall. Rainbow Dash had decided to tag along too, and was currently hovering next to Twilight.

“So Twilight, what else haven’t you told us about your time in the Wasteland?” Dash asked inquisitively.

“Well, I’m guessing that she left out the part with the orgy, but it’s not that interesting…” Ethan said, giving Twilight a grin.

“You were in an orgy?” Dash asked excitedly.

“No I wasn’t.” Twilight replied with a scowl at Ethan.

“Sparky, you shouldn’t lie to your friends.” Ethan said with a chuckle.

“And you should remember that I’m perfectly capable of teleporting you off a cliff.” Twilight replied dryly.

“It’s not like it would do that much.” Ethan said with a shrug.

“The cliff happens to be four hundred feet tall with giant spikes made out of crystals at the bottom.” Twilight told him. “Oh, and it’s underground.” She added with a sweet smile.

“You know Sparky, that’s one thing that I’ve missed over the last nine months; you’re so adorable when you think that you’re being threatening.” Ethan told her with a grin as he patted her head.

“I’m not cute!” Twilight protested.

“I’d say that your fuckbuddy would disagree with you on that.” Ethan told her with a chuckle.

“I don’t get you two.” Dash said, looking from one to the other as she floated above Twilight.

“We’re fire forged friends who connected during the cruel crucible of battle, oh and she’s secretly attracted to my raw animal magnetism.” Ethan replied with a chuckle.

“I can still arrange for you to be thrown off of the wall…” Twilight said before trailing off at the sight before of them.

Her eyebrows raised in surprise and a plasma defender that she’d been wearing on her hip immediately jumped into the air and fired off a bolt of glowing green plasma at the creature standing before them. The creature rolled her eyes and the plasma impacted harmlessly off of a fiery green barrier.

“You’re a little trigger happy Sparky; are you afraid of bugs?” Ethan asked as he looked at the black chitinous being in front of him.

“That bitch brainwashed my brother!” Twilight shouted as she fired off another few bolts; Queen Chrysalis simply raised an eyebrow from within her shield.

“I got this Twi.” Dash said as she flew towards the force field. The blue pegasus impacted against the force field with a loud bang, followed by a loud shout of pained surprise. “That’s hot!” Dash shouted as she flew back and landed on the ground next to Twilight, who looked over her friend’s now burned hoof.

“It’s not serious Dash.” Twilight told the pegasus who nodded thankfully.

“Perhaps I should try.” Ethan sad with a smirk.

“Well this obviously isn’t working, so I guess you might as well.” Twilight said with a growl as her plasma bolts bounced harmlessly off of the fire-green shield.

“Allow me.” Ethan said as he stepped up to the force field. He extended a finger, and touched the field before drawing it back as he blew on it to cool it and then stuck it in his mouth; Twilight could hear the hiss as the flaming skin touched the inner lining of his mouth. Then, with a grin on his face Ethan shouted. “Hey sexy lady, why do you have to be so hot?”

“Did you just call me sexy?” Chrysalis asked with a sly smile.

“Nope, I just wanted to see if you could talk.” Ethan replied with a smile before he reached into his pocket, withdrew a pulse grenade, and pulled the pin.

The grenade exploded in a burst of static that washed over the Changeling’s shield, causing it to sputter out as if someone had just poured a bucket of water over it. Then, Ethan moved forward with a sly smile on his face. Chrysalis was looking at him in surprised confusion, but instead of giving her any time to prepare Ethan simply brought A Light Shining in the Darkness up to point at her muzzle.

“I’ll make this quick, I’ve just disabled your magic and this gun can cut a hole through a six inch plate of steel. You’re going to tell me just what you’re doing here and what you did to Twilight or I’m going to be spattering your bug brains all over the wall. Am I understood?” Ethan asked her with a wicked grin.

“You’re exuding laughter and joy, not the usual cocktail of anger or the fear that comes from someone who’s about to kill someone else. You’re not going to shoot me.” Chrysalis told him with a smug smile.

Ethan decided to use a trick that his wife used when talking wasn’t working for her, not that it didn’t that often but it was always good to have a backup plan if your words aren’t covered in enough honey. With a grin firmly attached to his face Ethan pulled back his head before smashing it forward into Chrysalis’s face. The Changeling Queen staggered back in as much shock as pain and Ethan followed up by punching her in the chest, which sent her tumbling to the ground.

“So, what have we learned?” Ethan asked as he walked towards the Changeling Queen who struggled back to her hooves and glared angrily at him.

“I am a Queen, I could have you hanged for this!” Chrysalis growled.

“Good luck with that. Now, why don’t you tell me why Sparky over there wants to kill you?” Ethan asked as he un-holstered his pistol again and pointed it at Chrysalis’s head with a grin, as his blue eyes sparkled dangerously in the light shining through the hallway window.

“What is going on here?” Celestia asked as she walked down the corridor.

“Bug bitch needed a beat down.” Ethan supplied with a shrug as he motioned at Chrysalis with his free hand.

“This… thing head-butted me and then punched me along with a clear death threat; I’d like to request a hanging.” Chrysalis told Celestia with a glare at Ethan. “Oh, and Miss Sparkle tried to shoot me.” She added.

“Did you do anything to antagonize either of them first?” Celestia asked.

“Perhaps it was my existence…” Chrysalis said as she narrowed her eyes.

“I apologize for the behavior of Twilight Sparkle, I hadn’t yet had the chance to tell her that you were coming by. As for the man… He isn’t inside of my authority as he isn’t an Equestrian citizen, however I shall make sure that he knows the consequences that will come if he doesn’t learn to act like a normal resident of my nation.” Celestia said as she gave Ethan a hard look.

In response Ethan smiled and blew her a kiss, causing the solar alicorn to let out an internal sigh of annoyance. The man just didn’t seem to possess the ability to learn from his mistakes, and he always seemed to punching someone! How could he think that that was good way to conduct negotiations?

“Very well then. There’s also the matter of the ten unconscious changelings found in a bar, claiming to have been attacked by a tall bipedal creature matching his description.” Chrysalis said, casting a glare at Ethan.

“To be fair they attacked me first, and to be even fairer I only knocked out one of them. The rest did it to themselves.” Ethan pointed out with a smirk.

“Ethan, shut up.” Celestia told him before she turned back to Chrysalis. “What he meant to say is that he’s sorry to have injured your people and that he won’t do it again.” Celestia told the Changeling Queen while she gave Ethan the evil eye. For once, Ethan took the hint.

“Yes, that’s it exactly. I just get so forgetful these days. I mean, between all the drinking and head injuries, not to mention all of the maimings and bullet wounds, I’m surprised that I can remember my own name sometimes.” Ethan told the Queen with a goofy grin.

“Yes well… don’t do it again.” The black chitined creature replied before she turned back to Celestia and asked. “Your sister asked for me to come here, although for what purpose I can’t imagine. Do you happen to know where she is?”

“Knowing Luna she’s off in her room; I suggest knocking before you open the door.” Celestia said.

“Very well then, I shall take my leave of you princess.” Chrysalis said before she walked away.

“I’m feeling some unresolved sexual tension in the room.” Ethan said once the changeling queen was far enough away.

“That was awesome!” Dash told Ethan as she hovered around his face. “First you were all like ‘tell me what I want to know’ and then you head-butted her!” The pegasus said excitedly.

“Rainbow Dash, would you mind leaving us? We have important matters to discuss.” Celestia asked Dash, who shrugged.

“Sure, I need to talk to Fluttershy about something anyways. Bye Twilight, bye Ethan.” Dash said before flying off.

“So, what’s up Sunny?” Ethan asked Celestia with a grin.

“As this event has proven you can’t be trusted not to engage in boneheaded actions, I have selected someone who I trust deeply to be your personal lawyer, and I would like you to meet with her now.” Celestia explained.

“Well this wasn’t really my fault. Sparky shot first, I was just more effective.” Ethan said, defending himself.

“It’s true Tia, I did start shooting first. The more important thing is what in the hell is Queen Fucking Chrysalis doing in the palace?!” Twilight said angrily. “Do you have any idea what will happen if Shining or Cadence see her?” The purple unicorn asked.

“I didn’t invite her, my sister told me that she was coming two minutes before I heard the sound of your weapon going off.” Celestia said flatly, she was obviously about as happy with the changeling visiting the palace as Twilight was. “Anyways Ethan, I’ve appointed someone to act as your legal consultant because I’m sure that you’ll need one at some point in the future; in fact you should probably go and see her now. To get to her office you take a right at the end of this corridor, and then it’s the fifteenth door on the right.”

“What’s a legal consultant?” Ethan asked, causing Twilight to facehoof and Celestia to sigh internally; she seemed to be doing a lot of that lately…

“A legal consultant or lawyer as they are more commonly called, are ponies who will help you defend yourself in court, a place that I have the oddest feeling that you’re going to end up before your time here is over.” Celestia explained.

“Court?” Ethan asked, now even more thoroughly confused.

“A place where you prove your innocence after you’ve committed a crime or where you go if someone has wronged you.” Celestia elaborated.

“But that’s what guns are for.” Ethan said obliviously.

“That’s not the way we deal with our problems in Equestria.” Celestia told him flatly.

“But gu-”

“And if you can’t accept that then I’ll send you right back to your depressing home and never let you return.” Celestia said, cutting him off.

“Fine, I’ll meet with this lawyer person...” Ethan said with a roll of his eyes.

“I’ll take him there.” Twilight told Celestia who shook her head.

“I’d like to talk to you alone for a little while Twilight.” Celestia told her.

“Something important?” Twilight asked with an arched eyebrow.

“Potentially.” Celestia replied with a wink.

“You two are going to go fuck while I’m stuck talking about laws, aren’t you?” Ethan asked. Instead of answering him, Celestia and Twilight disappeared in a flash of white light. “Figures.” Ethan said before he took off down the hall heading towards the lawyer’s office.

***

“Dammit Ethan!” Cassandra shouted in frustration as she looked for her favorite gun among the hundreds adorning the walls of the armory that she’d had built into the suite level.

“What’s wrong?” Boone asked from the armory door, where he was attempting to cover up an amused smile.

“I told him that he could take some of my guns, but I didn’t think that he’d take my favorite pistol!” Cassandra exclaimed, throwing her hands up in annoyance.

“He took Light?” Boone asked in surprise.

“Yes!” Cassandra said in aggravation.

“Why don’t you take that one that you got from the Gunrunners?” Boone asked.

“I guess it’ll have to do.” Cassandra replied as she went over the rack containing her Li’l Devil 12.7 mm pistol, and grabbed it by the black grip. She quickly checked all of the moving parts for broken or bent pieces, before nodding in satisfaction and sliding it into the holster on her hip. She collected several handfuls of ammo for the gun from an adjacent container, and popped them into one of the many pockets sewn into her riot gear’s duster.

Next, she walked to the wall where she kept her rifles. After a few moments of hard thought she settled on using her Medicine Stick for her long-distance needs, and her .45 auto SMG for her rapid fire weapon, along with enough ammo to keep both guns shooting for around a week. Then, she crossed the floor to her shotgun wall. She quickly grabbed her riot shotgun from where it sat in its well-worn slot, along with enough dragon’s breath and flechette rounds to kill an entire legion of Legion.

Finally, she walked over to her wall of melee and unarmed weapons. Apparently Ethan had taken Blood-Nap, so she settled on one of her normal bowie knives and an industrial hand. Boone, who had watched all of this from the doorway, shook his head and rolled his eyes at how many weapons she was bringing, but Cassandra just smiled, it was good to have the tall man with her again, just like old times.

Cassandra had had a bit of a crush on Boone the moment that she met him; who wouldn’t when presented with such a tall, imposing, and utterly dangerous man? That crush had of course disappeared the moment that she learned about what had happened to his wife… Now she just regarded the man as one of her best friends, who she’d give her life for if necessary. She’d always been surprised that the big sniper hadn’t put a bullet in her brain when she’d turned against the NCR. Instead, the man had forgiven her, and after a bit of time living as a caravan guard he’d returned to the hotel and asked if he could stay and help her protect Vegas. Then, nine months ago he’d been hit hard by an odd type of wanderlust, and set off to see what he could see and do some thinking along the way.

Now the man was casually leaning against the doorframe, wearing a suit of desert ranger armor that Cassandra had found in the middle of a cave in the Grand Canyon, minus the helmet. Across his back was the Gobi Campaign rifle. The rifle and Boone had a history; he’d used it to kill his wife when she’d been sold into slavery with no way of rescuing her. Then, two months later he’d used it to kill the leader of that camp as he made his rounds, just before Cassandra had dumped nuclear waste on it. Upon his head was his ever present beret, while a pair of aviator sunglasses covered his eyes.

“So are we going, or are you going to pick specific grenades to take with us to?” Boone asked with a light smile on his face.

“Actually, you’re right I need some grenades.” Cassandra replied with a small smile and Boone rolled his eyes. That was odd; Boone had always been fairly stoic; now however he seemed to have adopted a bit of sarcasm. To be honest, it was kind of unsettling… “Did something happen while you were out there?” Cassandra asked as she drifted over to the grenade storage unit.

“Why do you ask?” Boone asked, while Cassandra quickly retrieved half a dozen plasma, along with another half dozen incendiary grenades and six satchel charges, just to be safe.

“You should take a few mini nukes to. After all, what if we have to be completely sure that whatever it is that’s killing the cazadors is dead?” Boone asked her with a slight chuckle.

“I don’t think that that’ll be necessary.” Cassandra replied with a slight chuckle, although she did turn her gaze towards the shelf that contained every mini-nuke that she’d been able to find in the Mojave Wasteland.

“I was joking.” Boone told her dryly with another shake of his head.

“Alright then, I’m done. Do you need anything?” Cassandra asked Boone, who shook his head.

“No, I’ve got all I need.” Boone replied with a smile.

“Well then, shall we?” Cassandra asked, gesturing towards the door with her right hand.

“Ladies first.”

***

Ethan walked into the lawyer’s office with a slight hint of apprehension. He wasn’t stupid, but if there was one thing that he knew next to nothing about then it was Law. He’d heard that the NCR were really big on using Law, but he’d never been directly involved in it before now and he wasn’t exactly looking forward to it. For some reason when he thought about Law he got the mental image of a boring, bored looking man in a plain black suit, staring at him imperiously.

So Ethan was extremely surprised when he instead found himself face to face with a very different kind of person, sitting casually in a leather upholstered arm chair behind a nice mahogany desk. The unicorn looked him over slowly before drawing a flask of whiskey out of her slightly disheveled brown suit, and took a sip. The mare then brushed her long azure mane out of her green eyes and took another sip before offering Ethan the flask. Ethan accepted it with a nod, but he also took out his own flask and passed it to her. They drank in unison and both traded an appreciative nod to the other before passing back their respective flasks.

“So you’re Ethan. Strange, I figured that you’d be taller.” The mare said in a scratchy voice, that despite its roughness was strangely endearing.

“I figured you’d look more serious.” Ethan replied with a shrug as he took a seat in the wooden seat in front of the mare’s desk.

“I save my seriousness for court.” The mare replied with a matching shrug as she took another sip of her whiskey.

“Do you now?” Ethan asked with a grin; he liked this mare already.

“Yes, and I have the oddest feeling that you’ll get me there more then I’d like, so let’s make this quick. Everything that I’ve heard about you suggests that you’re a brash jackass with an almost suicidal tendency to jump off of cliffs both metaphorical and physical, but beneath it all you’re a good perso-”

“You forgot to mention my raw animal magnetism.” Ethan interjected.

“However could I have forgotten?” The mare asked with a chuckle. “Anyways, I like you already, but here’s the thing. I can keep you from being imprisoned if and only if you can avoid killing people, other than that I believe that between my years of experience along with a little luck I can keep you out of the slammer. But the second that you kill someone innocent, you will lose my support. I don’t like people who kill the innocent.” The mare said, narrowing her eyes and staring Ethan right in his.

“I’ve been doing my best, but if I do kill someone who deserves it than I’m not going to apologize for it.” Ethan replied while he met her gaze. They stayed staring at each other for a few minutes until a smile crossed the mare’s face.

“I said innocent. If they’re not innocent, then…” the mare trailed off, giving Ethan a knowing smirk.

“I like you.” Ethan said with a wide grin. “So, what’s your name?” He asked.

“Call me Frosty Glass.” The mare replied with a small grin. “So, shall we get down to business?”

An hour later Ethan’s head hurt more than it had after his first head injury, which he’d gotten jumping off of the ledge outside of Moria’s store in an attempt to break a limb. He’d woken up to Lucas Sims giving Moria a lecture about asking researchers to do stupid things, which Moria had evidentially ignored completely… Anyhow, his head now felt completely muddled, which was why he decided to take a walk, and that walk led into Rarity’s bedroom…

***

“We aren’t having sex, are we?” Twilight asked the second that they flashed back into existence.

“No my dear, I’m afraid that we aren’t.” Celestia informed her pupil as a frown crossed her face.

“It’s about Ethan, isn’t it?” Twilight asked, but Celestia shook her head.

“No, it’s not. Or at least, not directly.” Celestia said as she pursed her lips in thought.

“What do you mean?” Twilight asked.

“There’s something influencing things in Equestria and the world around us.” Celestia told Twilight.

“Isn’t there always?” Twilight asked with a little smirk.

“This is serious Twilight!” Celestia shouted, causing Twilight to flinch in surprise. Than a sorrowful look crossed Celestia’s face, and she closed her eyes as she visibly struggled to regain her calm. “I’m sorry Twilight…” The alicorn said before she bent down to place a careful kiss on Twilight’s cheek. Twilight felt the familiar sense of solar warmth spread over from her love’s lips, and she began to relax.

“It’s fine Tia.” Twilight murmured; her robotic eye whirred as it scanned the room for anything abnormal. Unfortunately, it found nothing.

“No Twilight it’s not fine, this whole situation isn’t fine!” Celestia said angrily. “I personally helped settle the differences between the hippogriffs and the griffins forty years ago; they shouldn’t be at each other’s throats already!” Celestia continued as her eyes glared at nothing.

“Tia, you need to calm down. Take deep breaths, think happy thoughts, umm… think about us together.” Twilight said as she tried to calm her marefriend. Celestia began to slowly calm down, and the fire in her eyes went out.

“Whatever is doing this, I’m going to find it Twilight. And when I do-”

“Stop it. Whatever it is that’s making you do this wants you angry. Being angry makes you stupid Tia.” Twilight said calmly.

“You, you… you’re right Twilight…” Celestia told Twilight. Then she closed her eyes and began to slowly breathe in and out, in and out, in and out. After a few moments her face relaxed and she opened her eyes. “Thank you Twilight, what would I be without you, my little pony?” She asked with a slight sigh.

“Old, beautiful, and on the open market.” Twilight replied with a smirk. “Or trapped in the sun, take your pick.” She added with a chuckle.

“Your confidence in my fighting ability fills me with joy.” Celestia said dryly.

“Anytime Tia.” Twilight said before giving her a deep kiss on the lips. “So why don’t we take this conversation in a new direction?” Twilight asked once she’d broken the kiss.

“As much as I would love to, and I really would, I’m too busy at the moment. After all, someone has to keep Shining Armor from killing Chrysalis, even if I wouldn’t really mind. Especially after she put me in that cocoon and tried to destroy the city; the last thing that we need right now is a war with the changelings.” Celestia said with a sigh.

“Alright then Tia, I guess I should go find Ethan and keep him from getting into trouble.” Twilight said with a roll of her eye.

“Good luck my dear.” Celestia said before she kissed Twilight on the cheek and vanished in a flash.

“I’ll need it.”

Chapter 8

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Edited by TacoTown and Furta E

Chapter 8

““Have they been dispatched?” A loud, imperious voice asked.

“Of course.” A haughty voice answered.

“Excellent. Then things are going according to plan.” The first voice said

“What about the creature?” The second voice questioned.

“We will provide a distraction. By the time he realizes what is going on they will have done their jobs.” The first voice said.

“What will you use?” The second voice asked.

“Children.” The first voice answered.

Then both voices burst into raucous laughter as darkness encircled them.

***

“So do they not teach you about knocking where you come from?” Rarity asked as she levitated a cup of coffee over to Ethan, who took it in one hand while he added a bit of whiskey to it with his other. Rarity raised an eyebrow but kept silent; she’d already learned that it was best not to comment on anything that Ethan did. It only led to a sarcastic remark.

“Manners are more flexible where I come from. I figured that if it was after breakfast but before lunch then you probably weren’t entertaining any guests.” Ethan replied with a shrug.

“I suppose that that makes a certain degree of sense.” Rarity consented with a nod. “So, what brings you to my room?” She asked, changing subject.

“Well, I kind of need something to wear.” Ethan said, gesturing at his ruined armor.

“Hmm… that suit you gave me gave me a good idea for what you need. Would you mind if I take your outfit and incorporate it into my design?” Rarity asked.

“Sure, beats throwing it away.” Ethan replied with a smile as he slipped out of his armor and passed it to Rarity.

Rarity was momentarily dumbstruck when she saw the huge variety of scars that covered Ethan’s chest. Large scars, small scars, scars that had all but disappeared and were nothing but thin right traces across his skin. Among them she spotted several large spots of newly formed skin that were placed at random intervals over both his chest and his shoulders, as if something had been imbedded in his skin and then torn out again. Once again Rarity decided to ignore it and move on and instead she focused on the armor.

“This design is intriguing. It’s simple yet functional, and I can’t find a single flaw in its overall construction. Honestly, if it was in a better color for you I’d say that it matches you perfectly.” Rarity told him with a critical eye as she examined the garment. “Hmm… not only can I see several ways to add to this, I can also see how to make some very marked improvements.” She added as she noticed several places where she would’ve done things differently.

“Great, thanks. That’s awesome. I’ve heard good things about you by the way.” Ethan told her as he took another sip of his coffee.

“You have?” Rarity asked in surprise.

“Yeah. Did you know that apparently you’re the one who Sparky would want next to her in a fight?” Ethan asked her and Rarity shook her head in surprise.

“Why would she say that? I’m certainly not the strongest of our little group.” Rarity asked as she began to magically break down Ethan’s riot gear in a swirling ball of magic.

“She said that you were one of the calmest when things were serious; she also said something about military school.” Ethan offered with a shrug as he watched his riot gear slowly reveal its individual parts.

“Oh… Well, that makes sense I suppose. I really do prefer not to talk about my time at that academy, but I will admit that the training has helped me many times.” Rarity said as she focused on her work. At this point she’d retrieved several materials from a nearby trunk, and they began to weave in and out of the now large ball of magic.

“So, what exactly are you doing?” Ethan asked as he eyed the glowing ball skeptically.

“I’m analyzing each piece, while at the same time reworking them into a better design.” Rarity stated in a professional tone.

“How long do you think this is going to take?” Ethan asked, but Rarity shrugged without looking up from her work.

“One cannot rush perfection, darling, although I should be able to finish it by dinnertime.” Rarity replied offhandedly, or was it offhoofedly? Ethan had no idea.

“Alright then, I guess I’ll just walk around without a shirt on.” Ethan told her with a shrug as he headed towards the door.

“That’s nice.” Rarity muttered before getting back to her examination of the clothing materials. For all intents and purposes, she was in the zone.

Ethan left the room whistling the tune to Blue Moon, mostly because he hadn’t been back to the Capital Wasteland for several months. The Brotherhood had kept him updated and nothing seemed to be blowing up, at least no more than normal, so Ethan would be bored anyways. Not to mention that he’d been avoiding it ever sin- Ethan’s train of thought was interrupted as Pinkie Pie slammed into him face first.

“Hia!” The pink pony said excitedly.

“Hia yourself.” Ethan said with a chuckle as he removed her from his face. “So what brings you to this lovely hallway?” Ethan asked as he set the pink pony on the ground.

“Oh, this and that. And the other. And some of those, oh and I can’t forget about all of them.” Pinkie said with a grin as she pointed above her.

“So, angels or birds…” Ethan said, trailing off.

“Ha! No, of course not! Why would I bother waving to birds? All they do is complain, and I’m pretty sure that Equestria doesn’t have angels, although I’ve always wanted to meet Crowley so I kinda wish it did.” Pinkie replied with a grin, a giggle, and a wink.

“Has anyone ever told you that you’re remarkable?” Ethan asked as he looked down at her.

“Probably, want to go pranking?” Pinkie asked with a grin.

“Pranking… I have no idea what that is but I have the oddest feeling that I’ll like it.” Ethan told Pinkie with a wide grin.

***

Brighteyes, senior Lunar Guard and honored sergeant was in a great mood. Then again, after the night that he’d had that wasn’t very surprising… Anyways, he was going about his everyday duties, patrolling the castle grounds and looking handsome, when suddenly he heard the sound of high pitched laughter along with a much deeper one. Pinkie rounded the corner with Ethan following close behind; both were laughing madly as the sound of a very angry stallion’s voice echoed behind them. Also, Ethan was shirtless at the moment for some reason… and to Brighteyes’s considerable surprise his upper body was covered with enough scars to make a griffin swoon.

“Get back here, you infernal demons!”

Brighteyes’s eyebrows rose in surprise. That voice belonged to none other than Captain Corn, a mid-level Solar Guard member. Ethan and Pinkie rushed past Brighteyes, and he could’ve sworn that Ethan winked at him as he passed. Captain Corn rounded the corner at just as fast of a pace, but for some reason he wouldn’t stop twitching. Then, Captain Corn ground to a halt and stood still, panting as his leg reflexively scratched the back of his neck like a dog.

“I’m going to get you for this!” Corn shouted as he stopped scratching.

“What did they do?” Brighteyes asked inquisitively. Corn jumped. Apparently he hadn’t seen Brighteyes during his frenzied scratching.

“That pink… moron and the tall idiot put high strength itching powder in my armor!” Captain Corn said in aggravation as he began to scratch his neck frantically, his eyes glazed over slightly and Brighteyes felt a wave of sympathy for the Solar Guard member.

“Look, I’ll get them to stop. Why don’t you take a shower and get that stuff out of your coat?” Brighteyes told Captain Corn, who nodded thankfully to him.

“Thanks, Bright, remind me that I owe you a drink later. Give them hell!” Corn replied before he walked towards the Solar Guard corridors, pausing every few seconds to scratch himself frantically with either his rear hoof or against the wall. Brighteyes sighed and set off after Ethan and Pinkie Pie.

He found the pranking collaborators, giggling as they expectantly watched Prince Blueblood as he walked around the great hall, verbally abusing several of the maids who were apparently not up to snuff. Blueblood was wearing his blue park stroller’s coat, and he was apparently waiting to use the royal gardens. The fact that Ethan and Pinkie were giggling gave Brighteyes the oddest feeling. It was as if he was reading a book, and the main characters were about to have something horrible happen to them. Brighteyes could see that it was about to happen, yet no matter what he did it would happen anyways. This feeling was confirmed a few seconds later as Blueblood vanished in a large flash of light, along with an eardrum bursting bang. Ethan and Pinkie broke into raucous laughter as the maids looked around in confusion while Blueblood lay on the ground, cowering in fear.

“God, I love flashbangs.” Ethan said with a final chuckle as he whipped a tear from his eye and took a sip of whiskey.

“What… what was that?” Brighteyes asked from behind them.

“A flashbang.” Ethan replied without turning around.

“And… what exactly does a flashbang do?” Brighteyes asked as Blueblood staggered to his hooves, flailing hilariously and causing the guard to chuckle internally.

“It makes a lot of light and a lot of noise in order to disorient a foe, other than that it’s completely safe.” Ethan replied as Blueblood spotted them. The Prince’s eyes narrowed in anger as he caught sight of the three standing there, two of whom were laughing and one Lunar Guard who wasn’t so much as even attempting to apprehend them.

“I’ll have both of you hung for this!” Blueblood shouted, and then staggered as the sound of his own voice hit him like a ton of bricks.

“We may want to leave.” Ethan suggested with a chuckle.

“To the Pinkie Mobile!” Pinkie shouted and both she and Ethan ran away laughing like maniacs.

“Guard, why didn’t you stop them?” Blueblood seethed as he came to stand unsteadily in front of Brighteyes.

“Well, sir, have you looked outside?” Brighteyes asked, nodding towards the sun.

“Yes, it’s a beautiful day. What of it?” Blueblood asked in irritation.

“Well sir, as you can see thanks to my wings and my eyes I am obviously a member of the Lunar Guard. Thus, unless there is an emergency I am off duty.” Brighteyes replied as tried to keep his cool. None of the palace may have liked him, but Blueblood was still a prince, even if he acted nothing like one was supposed to.

“This is an emergency, I was just assaulted!” Blueblood said through clenched teeth.

“Should I get you a Doctor then?” Brighteyes asked innocently. Most of the Solar Guard wouldn’t have had the balls to talk to the prince like that, but thanks to Luna’s utter contempt for the prince the Lunar Guard didn’t have to watch themselves as closely.

“NO! What I want is for you to catch those two so that I may hang them!” Blueblood all but shouted.

“That might be difficult for you sir, one of them is a bearer of an Element of Harmony and the other one is reported to be unkillable.” Brighteyes replied, all the while keeping his face an expressionless mask.

“If you do not help me I’ll report you to your mistress!” Blueblood said angrily.

“I would advise against that, she’s meeting with a guest at the moment.” Brighteyes replied.

“Confound you Lunar Guardsmen; the world was so much simpler before Auntie Luna returned.” Blueblood said angrily.

“Are you insulting my lady?” Brighteyes asked as his eyes glinted slightly in the light and hardened into thin draconic slits. Blueblood made a slightly strangled sound and he quickly backed away.

“No, not at all, I wouldn’t dream of it!” The Prince said as a note of apprehension filled his voice.

“Good.” Brighteyes replied with a thin grin that revealed his sharp draconic teeth. Blueblood fled the area without further comment, and Brighteyes turned back to the prospect of chasing down Ethan and stopping the pranking horrors that would soon befall the innocent ponies of the Canterlot Palace if he didn’t.

***

Pinkie and Ethan stared at each other, each tense waiting for the other to make the first move. Suddenly, Pinkie’s hoof shot to the side and emerged holding a water gun loaded with icing. Ethan dove to the side as a stream of the deadly confectionary passed above his head and impacted on the tree directly behind him. As Ethan’s dive ended he came up with a pair of cupcakes in his hands. Without thinking about it he threw one straight at Pinkie’s head, but she simply swallowed it with a large grin on her face. Ethan’s brow creased in concentration and he took another swig of whiskey to calm himself. Then, with a giant grin Ethan reached into the hollow of a nearby tree and when he withdrew his hand he found that there was a water gun that was much bigger than Pinkie’s resting in it.

“Oh frosting.” Pinkie cursed as a jet of high energy frosting slathered itself over the front of her body, completely obscuring it from view. Then, her long pink tongue popped out of her mouth and in one large circular slurp grabbed all of the frosting and then returned to her mouth as she gave Ethan a wide, frosting filled smile. Ethan shook his head in amazement and chuckled at the sight.

“I bet that you’re really popular with the mares, aren’t you?” Ethan asked

“Meh, not my type. I prefer stallions.” Pinkie replied with a grin.

“Finally! I was beginning to think that all of Sparky’s friends were lesbians.” Ethan told her with a chuckle.

“Well Applejack goes both ways and Rarity prefers stallions, or at least I think she does. As for Fluttershy I have no idea.” Pinkie said, giving Ethan a shrug.

“Did somepony say my name?” A quiet voice off to the right asked. Ethan turned to see the yellow pegasus approaching, a flock of birds had decided to take up residence in her mane and a black furred squirrel sat on her back.

“We were just talking about how most of Twilight’s friends are lesbians.” Pinkie replied with a mischievous grin that caused Fluttershy to suddenly become very interested in the ground as a deep red blush washed over her face.

“Oh my…” She said softly.

“Yeah, and I was just telling Ethan that I’m not sure which you prefer.” Pinkie added with a grin as her eyebrows moved up and down suggestively.

“Oh, umm, I’d rather not talk about it.” Fluttershy said very quietly, she almost seemed to sink into the ground a little with each word.

“That’s fine; honestly I’m not that interested in the sex life of Sparky’s friends.” Ethan said with a shrug. Fluttershy turned to Ethan for the first time and suddenly gasped in horror at his chest.

“What… what happened to you?” She asked as she rushed forward and began to look over the man’s scars with growing apprehension.

“Bullets, blades, and one really mean badger.” Ethan replied with a grin as he sat down to provide her an easier view.

“These… these are horrible! How did you possibly get this one?!” Fluttershy said while her hoof gently ran her hoof across a really long, old scar that ran across most of Ethan’s chest.

“Hmm… let me think.” Ethan said as he pulled out his whiskey flask from his pants pocket and took a sip. “Oh right, that’s from a few days after I got out of the Vault. I was making my way down to this big town called Rivet City and I got caught in a raider ambush. I got my ass kicked pretty bad, but I managed to kill all but one of them. Wouldn’t you know it the bastard drops down on me from the upper story of the destroyed building that we were fighting in? The bastard had a knife and he sliced right into me before I managed to kill him. Hell, I almost bled out before I could use my stimpack.” Ethan replied with a grimace as he thought about the encounter.

“I’m so sorry for you.” Fluttershy said as he hoof moved to a different scar, this one was more recent. It was also one of the ones that had caught Rarity’s attention as well. “What about this one?” She asked while she lightly tapped the patch of fresh skin that was growing.

“That one’s not important.” Ethan said coldly enough to make Fluttershy flinch slightly. “Sorry, I’d just prefer not to talk about that one.” Ethan added with an apologetic frown as he reached for his flask again.

“Oh no, it’s my fault. I shouldn’t have asked.” Fluttershy said timidly as she hid her face behind her long, pink mane.

“How would you’ve known?” Ethan asked with a shrug. “Other than those I’ll tell you how I got any of them.” Ethan added with a wink. Pinkie sensed that her screen time was almost up, so she left the two in the garden alone and began to plot her next prank, this time with flashbangs made out of cupcakes!

Fluttershy sat down next Ethan as he leaned against a tree and began to listen to him recount his tales of the Capital Wasteland. After around twenty minutes, they’d both fallen asleep in the grass of the garden.

***

“So why did you call me here?” Chrysalis asked Luna as she looked at the dark alicorn from across the tea table.

“Because I wanted to make sure that we have an understanding.” Luna said coldly.

“And what understanding would that be?” Chrysalis asked, narrowing her eyes.

“The one that says that if you get involved in any of our wars or use them to your advantage then I have the right to crush your chitin coated head between my forehooves.” Luna replied simply.

“You asked me to come all the way here just to threaten me?” Chrysalis asked in annoyance.

“Well there’s that, and I’m interested in your species’ breeding habits.” Luna replied with a shrug.

“Are you coming on to me?” Chrysalis asked, but Luna simply shook her head.

“I don’t do bugs; all I want is some notes about the process, for science.” Luna added with another shrug.

“Do you not have enough information on us in the archives?” Chrysalis asked.

“Well, yes. We do have an extensive amount on changelings, but none on their reproduction methods. As ruler of the night I take a great deal of personal pride in knowing about sex in all of its forms, so I thought that you’d be the best person to ask.” Luna told her.

“Should I demonstrate?” Chrysalis asked with a sly smile.

“No, that’s alright. Like I said I just need you to describe the process.” Luna replied as she grabbed a piece of paper and a pencil in her magical grip, and floated it over to the table. “Now, why don’t you start at…”

***

Blueblood stormed into Luna’s room with the full intent to talk to her about that infuriating guard from earlier. What he saw when he entered the room shocked him. There, sitting in a chair drinking tea, was Queen Chrysalis; sitting across from the Changeling Queen with an intrigued look on her face was Princess Luna. The Lunar Princess was rapidly taking notes while Chrysalis talked.

“…And then I take his sperm inside my body and combine it with the eggs…” Chrysalis continued talking, but it was drowned out by Blueblood’s screams.

“MY EARS!” Blueblood cried out in pain as he held the offending appendages with his hooves.

“What do you want Blueblood?” Luna snapped, quite annoyed at the interruption of her lesson.

“What were you talking about?!” Blueblood all but screamed.

“Changeling sexual reproductive practices.” Chrysalis with a shrug.

“Why?” Blueblood asked, aghast.

“Because I’m interested in it, and where did you get this idea that you can question me about anything you want? I don’t ask you pointless, inane questions about your interests, do I?” Luna asked as her annoyance with the Prince grew.

“No, Auntie…” Blueblood sighed as he lowered his head submissively.

“You’re damned right I don’t, now what did you want?” Luna demanded angrily.

“I was going to ask you to correct the attitude of one of your guards, a Sergeant Brighteyes.” Blueblood said, regaining his normal arrogance.

“What did Brighteyes do?” Luna asked, slightly surprised. Out of all of her guards she wouldn’t have guessed that it was Brighteyes that would’ve attracted Blueblood’s ire.

“He was thoroughly disrespectful to me when I asked him to help apprehend two troublesome pranksters.” Blueblood replied, his voice literally overflowing with indignant outrage.

“And who would those two pranksters be?” Luna inquired.

“The Element of Laughter and that despicable biped Ethan.” Blueblood answered with an incredibly vexed expression on his face.

“You wanted him to catch Pinkie Pie… You do realize that that’s a task better suited to gods than guards, don’t you?” Luna asked, narrowing her eyes as Blueblood shifted uncomfortably under her gaze.

“Well, he didn’t have to be so disrespectful about it!” Blueblood said as he glared at his aunt.

“Are you glaring at me, Blueblood?” Luna asked with an arched eyebrow.

“No, Auntie.” Blueblood said through gritted teeth as he aimed his scowl towards the ground.

“He seems to have taken a great deal of dislike for your floor, I would suggest that he leave before that glare becomes permanent.” Chrysalis said with a quiet chuckle.

“An excellent suggestion, Chrysalis. Run along Blueblood, go annoy Celly with your inane problems.” Luna said before she turned back to Chrysalis. “So, you were getting to the part where…” Blueblood sprinted out of the chamber, utilizing more speed than Luna had seen him ever use before.

“Oh yes. Then we have mind melting sex, and he dies as I bite…”

***

“What the hay is going on here?” Applejack asked as she came upon Ethan and Fluttershy asleep next to each other, leaning against an oak tree. The yellow pegasus was lying beside the man with her back turned into his legs, and Ethan was snoring gently while his head lulled against the tree trunk. “Well ah guess that they’re not hurting nothin, it’s just that this is an odd place ta take a nap.” Applejack said with a shrug.

That’s when her eyes processed the incredibly large number of scars that had accumulated on Ethan’s chest. A cold shiver passed up her spine and she was about to wake Fluttershy up and run as far away from Ethan as fast possible, but Ethan interrupted her.

“Mmmmm… go away… mumble.” Ethan told her while half asleep.

“What was that sugar cube?” AJ asked with a large smile.

“Go mumble away mumble or mumble I’ll mumble kick mumble you mumble into mumble a mumble tree.” Ethan replied while keeping his eyes completely closed.

“Ya do realize that saying the word mumble isn’t the same thing as bein’ half asleep, right?” AJ asked.

“Mumble bitch mumble…” Ethan replied as a small smile graced his lips.

“Ah really ought ta buck ya in the face.” AJ told him.

“Mumble go mumble ahead mumble and mumble try.” Ethan replied. AJ got a large smile on her face. Honestly, she’d been waiting to kick the varmint ever since he’d gotten to Equestria, and she wanted to make up for lost time.

She reared forward and then shoved her rear hooves out rapidly, trying to take Ethan directly in the face. Instead, her hooves met only the hard oak tree trunk. Ethan had ducked, or more accurately slouched, slightly to the side, and instead she’d kicked the tree trunk hard.

“Mumble want mumble to mumble go mumble again mumble mumble?” Ethan asked with a wider grin spreading over his still mostly serene looking face.

“Na, the way ah see it you’re tryin ta make me do somethin stupid.” AJ replied with a shrug. Ethan’s eyes opened slightly and he gave her a real, non-mocking smile.

“You realize that I was just testing you, right?” Ethan asked, and Applejack shrugged.

“Ma brother does it ta me to sometimes. It’s downright infuriatin, but ah guess ah can respect it.” Applejack said with a tired sigh.

“That’s the spirit. Oh, she’s waking up.” Ethan said as Fluttershy began to stir next to him. She slowly opened her eyes and looked around herself in surprise.

“Did we fall asleep?” Fluttershy asked as she woke up fully.

“Yeah, ah found the two of ya here catchin’ some zs.” Applejack answered with a shrug.

“Thanks for the company Fluttershy, but if you don’t mind I’m getting hungry.” Ethan told the yellow pegasus, who nodded.

“That makes sense. It’s been a few hours since breakfast and I’m sure that someone as big as you must use a lot of calories.” Fluttershy replied with a small smile. “I’m going to stay here with the animals for a little while longer, if that’s okay.” Fluttershy said.

“Of course, sugarcube, ah’ll come and get ya for dinner if you’re not back on time.” Applejack told her with a smile. “Mind if ah come to the dining room with ya? I’m feelin mighty hungry.” Applejack asked Ethan, who shrugged.

“The more the merrier.” Ethan replied with a slight grin.

“So…What do you think of Equestria so far, Ethan?” Applejack asked after several moments of uneasy silence.

“Your people are naïve, your soldiers, or at least what I’ve seen of them so far, are inexperienced, and you’re surrounded by extremely competent enemies. Honestly, I’m surprised any of you are still alive.” Ethan told her before taking a sip of whiskey.

“Now that ain’t fair.” Applejack said giving Ethan a frown. “Judgin’ from what Twi has told us the place ya come from is extremely violent. Of course our guards don’t impress ya.”

“Well you could use that excuse, except of course when you count the fact that you’re neighbored by two species that appear to be dangerous predators. Added to that is the fact that you’re capital city was attacked last year and the only reason that your country wasn’t taken over was through the power of a deus ex machina.” Ethan retorted with a shrug.

“Dues ex what now?” Applejack asked.

“God given miracle.” Ethan answered.

“Well what ya keep on forgettin’ is that the princesses can protect us.” Applejack told Ethan crossly.

“I’m not impressed with Sparky’s fuckbuddy, and I haven’t spent enough time with Luna to know anything about her besides the fact that she has good tastes in guards and whiskey. But even if they’re both extremely powerful they can’t be everywhere at once.” Ethan replied. “Hell, they’ve even been defeated before, right?” He asked.

“That’s not-”

“Fair? What part of life is?” Ethan asked, cutting her off. “Now don’t get me wrong, I really like it here. It’s much better than almost anywhere in the wasteland. I’m just saying that there are some parts, particularly defense, that need to be improved.” Ethan added with a half sigh before he took another sip of his whiskey.

“Ah wish that ya had a nicer way ta say that.” Applejack told him with a slight scowl.

“Hey, I’m just being honest.” Ethan replied.

“Ah know, and that’s what’s worryin me.” Applejack said.

“What do you mean?” Ethan asked.

“Well ah’m the Element of Honesty, that means that ah can pretty much tell whether or not you’re lyin. It’s not perfect, and it doesn’t work with everyone, but ah can usually tell.” Applejack answered.

“Hmm… I had sex with my wife for the first time on a bloody mattress covered with raider entrails.” Ethan told her with a wide grin.

“Ah’m going ta pretend ah didn’t hear that…” Applejack said as her face turned green.

“Oh, this is going to be fun!”

Chapter 9

View Online

Edited by TacoTown and Furta E

Chapter 9

“So then I had to plunge my hand into-” Ethan was saying.

“We’re here, thank Celestia.” Applejack said, letting out a long, tired, aggravated sigh.

To a normal pony, what Ethan had been telling her would’ve been easy to write off as an overactive imagination; at the very worst her mind would’ve conveniently forgotten about it and pushed it into a very small shelf in her brain. Unfortunately, when you can discern the true meaning behind words, at least unless they’re a gods, than they stay fresh in your memory. Forever…

“Oh good, I’ve really worked up an appetite.” Ethan replied with a grin as they walked into the dining room.

Sitting at the table were both ambassadors, along with Celestia, Cadence, and Twilight. Luna was distinctly missing, as was Shining Armor and Prince Blueblood. There was a shocked intake of breath from Cadence, while Ambassador Nymira whistled appreciatively at Ethan’s scar covered chest; Ambassador Sharp simply raised an eyebrow and Twilight and Celestia sighed internally. This was going to be a long lunch.

“Hi, guys, what’s for lunch?” Ethan asked as he nonchalantly walked into the room with Applejack trotting along beside him.

“Ethan, why aren’t you wearing a shirt?” Celestia asked.

“Rarity has it.” Ethan replied with a shrug while he walked closer to the table. Instead of bowing, Ambassador Sharp simply nodded to Ethan who returned the gesture easily before taking a seat in-between Twilight and Cadence. The pink alicorn’s gaze settled on Ethan’s chest, and she shuddered once before turning back to her salad and determinedly taking another bite.

“I see. Well, at least you should have some new clothing by the end of the day.” Celestia said while she moved a glass of wine up to her face, and took a delicate sip.

“By the way, why is everyone staring at my chest? I mean I know that I’m dashingly handsome, but it’s starting to get a little creepy.” Ethan asked.

“It’s probably the fact that your chest looks like it was attacked by Butcher Pete.” Twilight answered dryly from beside him.

“It’s not that bad.” Ethan said with a shrug as he patted his chest with one hand. While they’d been talking, a servant had brought him a large cheese and meat sandwich, which the man quickly bit into. Ethan also pulled out his flask of whiskey, and took a sip to wash down the sandwich.

“Ethan, that’s more scars than the average ten guards receive in their lives combined.” Twilight told him as her robotic eye idly scanned the room for anything unusual. Not that she was expecting to find anything, but it wouldn’t do to let her guard down during a political climate as tense as the current one.

“They are quite impressive.” Ambassador Nymira said with a wink as she eyed Ethan’s chest admirably.

“Thanks, my wife thinks so to.” Ethan replied, Nymira’s head cocked to the side for a second before she chuckled.

“So that’s the way it is. Well, a girl can still admire beauty when it’s sitting in front of her.” Nymira said with a final tiny chuckle.

“That is a tremendously large collection of scars, although I cannot tell what it says about your fighting prowess.” Ambassador Sharp told Ethan, somehow his voice managed to avoid sounding condescending when he said it.

“Oh?” Ethan asked, not quite getting the meaning behind the words.

“The way my people see it the more scars a warrior has the less skilled he is or else he wouldn’t have received them in the first place. But judging from the report that I received courtesy of my wingbrother you are certainly formidable in combat.” Sharp replied

“Oh, I get it. Well you see, a lot of these are from when I was fresh out of the Vault and didn’t know what I was doing. At that point in my life the most dangerous thing that I’d ever held was a BB-gun so I made a lot of stupid mistakes.” Ethan told him with a shrug.

“Some of these appear to be quite recent.” Sharp said as he raised an eyebrow archly.

“Did I show you what a bullet does?” Ethan asked, and everyone at the table shook their heads, except for Twilight who looked at Ethan and smiled slightly. “Sparky, do you think that there’s anything that I can use to demonstrate?” Ethan asked his purple friend, who shook her head with a small chuckle.

“Sorry, Ethan, but we don’t exactly keep test dummies lying around for target practice in the middle of the dining room.” Twilight replied, her humor that had been for the most part eluding her for the majority of Ethan’s visit suddenly made a resurgence. “Although I think I might know where we can find one, if of course everyone doesn’t mind finishing their meals rather faster than originally intended.” She added with a sly grin.

“I don’t see why not, I’m full anyways.” Ambassador Nymira said with a chuckle as she pushed away what was left of her own sandwich.

“I as well would like to see a demonstration.” Ambassador Sharp agreed. Celestia opened her mouth to agree, but there was a sudden explosion from somewhere else in the palace and the sound of shouting.

“IF I EVER SEE YOU AGAIN I’LL PULL YOUR GODDESS DAMNED INSECT WINGS OFF OF YOU! YOU GIGANTIC FUCKING BUG!” It was the voice of Shining Armor…

Celestia cocked her head to the side and then let out a sigh. “It would seem that Shining Armor discovered that Chrysalis was paying my sister a visit and then shot her through the ceiling with an explosive magic missile.” Celestia informed the rest of the diners, with an expression of pure and absolute indifference on her face. “She’s still alive.” Celestia added with a small hint of a frown on her face that was imperceptible to all but Twilight.

“What was that, and pardon my French, BITCH! Doing here?” Cadence asked as her eyes took on a slightly red hue.

“I believe that my sister wanted to exchange sexual knowledge with her.” Celestia answered, rolling her eyes.

“That’s… wait. Why would Auntie Luna want to do that?” Cadence asked as a disgusted look overtook her previous anger.

“You’ll have to ask her that, because I assuredly don’t know.” Celestia replied with a shrug.

“Anyways, wasn’t Ethan going to show us something?” She asked, changing the subject away from her sister’s odd personal pursuits.

“Oh right, I was going to show you guys what a gun does.” Ethan said with a grin.

“I think I’ll go and find my husband, have to make sure that he didn’t hurt himself.” Cadence said, getting up from the table before departing quickly without another word.

“Alright, Sparky, lead the way.” Ethan told Twilight as he rose from his seat. Twilight led the others out of the room, leaving only Applejack and a guard behind who shook her head.

“When did everypony suddenly go crazy?” She asked the guard.

“I honestly have no idea.” He replied with a shrug.

***

Cassandra’s blue vertibird touched down on the landing pad of the NCR fort in the middle of Cazador Canyon, kicking up a small whirlwind of dust and sand as it did so. Cassandra was impressed. The NCR had worked hard on this fort and it showed. The central hub of the fort was made up of several large concrete buildings, which cast an imposing shadow on the walls of the canyon. Surrounding those buildings were four rows of Quonset huts that each looked to hold enough room for around thirty men. A thick wall ran around the fort, and a single metal door was the only access point. Men and women bustled around the fort, going about their business without really paying attention to the landing vertibird.

Cassandra also made note of several dozen rangers armed with anti-material rifles stationed along the wall; besides them there were also several rangers carrying the slim shapes of bush guns walking among the others. Not only that, but she spotted somewhere between twenty and thirty heavy troopers, each armed with a light machineguns.

“Boone, you know more about the NCR military than I do; is this their normal intimidation factor, or does something actually have them spooked enough to think that this much firepower is necessary?” Cassandra asked.

“The second. Hell, you’d think that they were expecting an army.” Boone replied softly as his trained eyes scanned the controlled chaos going on around them.

“Well, I guess we’ve delayed long enough. Let’s go try and find Susan.” Cassandra told Boone, who nodded and they both got up from their seats.

To Cassandra’s slight surprise, General Susan met them right on the edge of the landing pad. The general’s long blonde hair was tied back in a ponytail, and her light blue eyes quickly ran over Cassandra’s body. Her eyebrows rose as her eyes traveled easily, spotting each of the many weapons that Cassandra had brought with her before she shook her head once and offered Cassandra her hand to shake.

“It’s my pleasure to welcome you to the NCR Cazador Canyon fort.” Susan said as Cassandra gave her hand a firm shake.

“You’ve certainly done a nice job with it.” Cassandra replied, nodding around at the various buildings.

“Thank you. The NCR always builds to withstand any force, no matter how strong” Susan said as if repeating a line that she’d said a million times before, and out of the corner of her eye Cassandra saw Boone smirk slightly. “That means a lot coming from you, Cassandra.” Susan added, much more quietly.

“Any time, General.” Cassandra said, catching on immediately and raising the level of formality in her approach. “Might I request a more private place to speak with you?” Cassandra asked.

“Yes, we’ll talk in my office.” Susan replied before setting off towards the concrete buildings.

They weaved through traffic as the NCR soldiers attempted to give their general the right level of respect by clearing a path, but at the same time being struck dumb by the sight of the fabled Courier walking next to their general. Cassandra’s messy red hair blew into her eyes as the wind whistled through it, but she ignored it. This wasn’t the time to be seen doing something as superficial as straightening her hair.

After a ten minute walk through the main encampment, it was another five minutes of walking until they reached Susan’s office. The three stepped inside and Cassandra found that the place was far more interesting than her office. In the center was a holo map, and Cassandra could easily see the outline of the fort and the surrounding canyon.

A large anti-material rifle hung behind the fossilized redwood desk that sat just in front of the far wall, and several wall mounted terminals also took up quite a bit of space. Cassandra noted that they were used to see out of the security cameras that she’d had noticed out of the corner of her eyes as they had made their way towards the building; after her time in the Sierra Madre Cassandra could spot a security camera the second that she rounded a corner.

“Not a bad looking office, General, now why don’t you tell me what all that firepower outside was for?” Cassandra asked once the door had been closed behind them. Boone leaned against it, and Susan had sat down in her chair while Cassandra elected to stand. Susan’s distant demeanor faded and a worried from appeared on her face.

“I. Don’t. Know.” Susan said with a grimace. “All I know is that I sent a squad of some of my best veteran rangers out to investigate last night. They’ve missed every single check-in since they reported finding a small cavern in the side of one of the cliffs near that burned village near the beginning of the path.” Susan continued. Boone whistled and Cassandra’s eyes narrowed. Anything that could take out an entire squad of ranger vets was trouble, and Cassandra had the feeling that she knew exactly what they were facing. She’d been worried about it for a long time, and now it appeared that her fears were coming true.

“Susan, I think I know what’s at work here. How much do you know about the Divide?”

***

Wadsworth looked up from his busy job of cleaning the presidential suite and watching over the twins to see that a dark figure had just stepped out of the elevator and was now standing right behind him.

“Well, if it isn’t Batman.” Wadsworth deadpanned.

“I’m here to see Cassandra.” The man with the braided hair said quietly.

“I’m sorry, but Miss Cassandra is currently out investigating a strange disturbance near the town of Goodsprings. Would you like to leave her a message?” The robot asked.

“If she’s there already… I have to go.” Ulysses said abruptly as his eyes narrowed in worry.

“Suicidal odds?” Wadsworth asked, although it was more of a statement really.

“Yes, this is worse than I had feared.” Ulysses replied as he made his way towards the door. Suddenly, the twins began to cry and Wadsworth let out a sigh as he drifted towards the nursery; Ulysses appeared beside him and gazed at the two redheaded twins. “New life seems to have taken root, I’ll see to it that their tree survives.”

“Yes, that’s very poetic. Now would you please get out of my way so that I may go about the wonderfully enjoyable task of changing them?” Wadsworth asked the man, who stepped aside with a dry chuckle and headed once more towards the elevator. Once Ulysses had departed and Wadsworth had finished changing diapers, the robot sighed and returned to cleaning.

***

The group walked into the palace courtyard where a group of guards was sparring with some training equipment.

“Yeah, this looks about right.” Ethan said with a nod as he looked around. “So, Sparky, what did you have in mind?” Ethan asked Twilight. “Because those targets don’t look tough or thick enough to stop my bullets, and I really don’t feel like getting yelled at because I accidentally shot someone on the other side of that wall” He added gesturing towards a row of targets that were set up against one of the nearby walls.

“I was thinking that you could use the same thing that the unicorn members of the guard use when they’re testing their anti-air spells.” Twilight replied as she nodded at a pile of black disks that were lying on the ground nearby.

“Isn’t leaving those lying around a tripping hazard?” Ethan asked.

“Talk to Shining about it. Now, how many do you want to shoot?” Twilight asked as she grabbed a few dozen in her magic’s grip.

“Let’s go for thirteen.” Ethan replied with a smile.

“Ethan, your pistol only holds six shots.” Twilight told him.

“I know; that’s where the fun starts.” Ethan said with a wide grin.

“Just don’t make a fool out of yourself, or a bigger fool at least.” Twilight told him with a slight twinkle in her eye.

“You wound me, Sparky.” Ethan replied with a grin. “Oh, and can someone clear the skies for me? I don’t want to shoot some random pegasus.” Ethan asked. Twilight’s horn began to glow and a purple shield rose over the courtyard.

“That should destroy the bullet when it hits.” Twilight told Ethan with a grin.

“Are you ready yet?” Celestia asked. Honestly, she was impressed that Ethan had gone through as many steps to insure that her little ponies were safe. She still didn’t really like the man, he was too brash along with being kind of an ass, but the fact that he cared enough to make sure her ponies were safe made her feel a bit better about him overall.

“All set Sunny. Alright, Sparky, toss them.” He told Twilight, who threw all thirteen disks into the air.

Ethan’s pistol flashed six times before any of the assembled watchers could even draw a breath, and six of the disks exploded into tiny black bits. Ethan’s hand moved rapidly as he shoved another clip into the dependable pistol and dispatched six more of the disks mere seconds later. The final disk was about half way to the ground when Ethan’s final shot caused it to explode as well. There was a moment of shocked silence from the assembled watchers until the Solar Guard broke into applause, and was soon followed by the two ambassadors along with Celestia.

“It reminds me of our matchlocks.” Ambassador Nymira told Ethan, while her eyes ran over the pistol inquisitively. “You wouldn’t mind letting me borrow it would you?” She asked as a sudden gleam entered her inquisitive eyes.

“Sorry, but this is my wife’s. If I let you borrow it and something happened she’d probably castrate me. Besides, I don’t feel like handing an extremely effective weapon over to a race of warriors. No offence, but that’s usually a bad idea.” Ethan told her with a shrug.

“I would think that I would be turned down for similar reasons?” Ambassador Sharp asked, and Ethan nodded once. “After a demonstration like this, I now see why are so riddled with scars. Color me impressed with your durability.” Sharp told him.

“Thanks, but this isn’t nearly the strongest gun I’ve got with me. Hell, this is only a sidearm.” Ethan said with a chuckle as he slid a fresh clip into the pistol, and then put it back into its holster on his hip.

“It’s essentially a dagger; your main weapons must be incredible!” Nymira said excitedly.

“Yeah, they are. They’re also DNA locked only to work for me, so I hope that no one feels like snooping.” Ethan replied with a grin before he turned back to Twilight, leaving the two ambassadors to exchange slightly guilty looks. They’d both been thinking about the exact same thing, and it was now written across their faces. “So, Sparky, what else can I do today? I’m bored.” Ethan asked the unicorn, who shook her head and sighed.

“Ethan, I don’t think that there’s anything else that you ca-” Twilight was interrupted by the sudden entry of a member of the guard.

“Princess Celestia! I have an urgent missive that you must view at once!” The guard told the white alicorn as he presented her a scroll in a small container. Celestia accepted the container with her magic before she pulled out the scroll and held it before her eyes. She let out a surprised gasp and then snorted angrily.

“What’s up, Sunny?” Ethan asked as he reached for the scroll.

“A group of diamond dogs have attacked Ponyville.” Celestia said as her eyes narrowed dangerously.

“What?!” Twilight asked in surprise.

“It’s just hitting me; every one of your cities or towns is a horse pun isn’t it?” Ethan asked Twilight, who turned to glare at him.

“Ponyville is my home.” She said quietly, her blue robotic eye hummed a little as her eyes bored into Ethan’s.

“Sorry, Sparky, I didn’t remember.” Ethan told her with a slight sigh.

“This letter also says that the diamond dogs hauled off the entire foal population of the town to work in their mines.” Celestia said, cutting off anything that Twilight would’ve said.

A sudden chill descended upon the group. Even in times of war children were not to be touched for any reason other than a catastrophic malfunction or an extreme miscalculation. It was the unspoken law of Equestria and the lands surrounding it. Ethan’s ordinarily warm and happy blue eyes turned frigid as a pair of glaciers, and all the happiness within them died immediately.

“I can send some of my men with your response team if you’d like.” Nymira told Celestia, who nodded and flashed a quick smile. Not to be outdone by the griffins Sharp added.

“I as well shall send a squad from my guard to accompany your valiant soldiers on this rescue mission.”

“I’m coming too.” Ethan said in a clipped tone. All eyes turned to the man who was now glowering darkly; the look on his face could’ve sent a hydra running in fear after just a glance.

“Are you sure that you should?” Celestia asked, causing Ethan to turn his stare on her.

“I’ll be going with them.” Ethan said evenly. It wasn’t a question, it was a command.

Celestia had stared down insane unicorn wizards on the cusps of taking over the world, mad kings with evil ambitions, gigantic monsters large enough to leave Canterlot in rubble after a single sweep of their claws, and dragons so powerful that they might as well have been forces of nature. As well as mad gods who sought to turn the world to ash beneath their hooves, all without so much as blinking a single violet eye.

But when she gazed into Ethan’s eyes she saw something that she’d never seen when facing any of those mighty opponents. It was anger. Anger so potent that it could’ve burned down her entire city in a matter of seconds. Celestia was no stranger to anger, but Ethan’s anger was different. Ordinarily when she saw anger it was expressed through rage, or occasionally the calm type of anger that made someone nearly unstoppable. Ethan’s anger was an odd cocktail of self-loathing, righteous fury, and vehement hate that was nearly blood-boiling hot.

Celestia didn’t flinch, she didn’t blink, instead she simply returned Ethan’s stare. But in that moment Celestia’s opinion of Ethan changed significantly. Before she had taken him to be an impotent fool, despite what Twilight had told her Celestia just couldn’t take the man seriously. Now however Celestia looked behind that façade and saw the true man underneath. He was deadly and strong, and there was something eating at his very soul. She didn’t know what it was, but if she had to guess then Celestia would bet that it had something to do with children.

“I see. Very well then, you may go with the team.” Celestia said, neither one of them turned away or broke eye contact until Twilight interrupted them.

“I’m going too, Tia.” Twilight said.

“Absolutely not!” Celestia said, turning to her marefriend. “You’re not following him into a fight that could get you killed Twilight, I won’t go through that again!” Celestia near-yelled.

“Tia, may I talk to you privately?” Twilight asked quietly in the tone that she only used when things were desperate.

“Ambassadors, I’m afraid that I must cut our audience short. Ethan, go and retrieve your combat gear and meet back here in ten minutes.” Celestia said before turning back to Twilight; they both vanished in a flash of white light.

“Well, this certainly complicates things significantly.” Ambassador Sharp told Ambassador Nymira, who nodded her white feathery head.

“Yeah, now it’s a real party.” She said with a wicked grin.

“I despise you.” Sharp replied with a clack of his beak and a glare as his black furred back leg stamped the ground.

“And I think you’re cute, so I guess we’ll both have to compromise.” Nymira replied with a chuckle. “Still, this means that my griffins will be able to upstage your griffs, yet again.” She added with a twinkle in her red eyes. Sharp made a sound of anger somewhere between a hiss and a screech before turning away and heading towards the room his guards were currently occupying.

“Strange day, eh?” Nymira asked Ethan. She received no answer, the man had already left.

***

Ethan strode into Rarity’s room with a dark, brooding step, carrying him quickly to the spot where the white unicorn was sitting on a couch casually sewing something.

“I need my armor.” Ethan told her simply.

“Good, because I just finished the final stitch.” Rarity told him with a smile as she lifted the fabric off of her lap with her TK, and presented it to Ethan.

She’d done a truly marvelous job. In Ethan’s slightly detached opinion he noted that it looked better, and stronger, than the original had. The riot gear plates had been reinforced by the same gold plate that the guard wore, along with a thick weave of silver chainmail that ran behind the plates. The fabric of the duster itself had been given two thick, distinctive red lines that ran up either side of the duster. Ethan was worried about how much the new reinforcements would add to the weight of the armor, but as he slid it on and found that if anything it weighed less than it had before.

“I added a few enchantments free of charge. It now weighs about as much as a tunic, is moderately fireproof, and should keep even the worst cold at bay.” Rarity explained as Ethan’s face showed his attempt to understand why the armor now weighed less.

“Thank you, I’ll use it well.” Ethan told her before abruptly turning on his heel and striding briskly out of the room without a backwards glance, although Rarity caught sight of his whiskey flask in his right hand.

***

“Why would you want to go charging into harm’s way, Twilight?” Celestia asked Twilight from where they were sitting on her bed.

“Two reasons Tia. Firstly, I’m bored out of my skull here and you know it.” Twilight told Celestia, who sighed but nodded, she too was bored and even the tense war negotiations hadn’t been enough to actually excite her lately.

“And the second reason?” Celestia asked.

“I’ve never seen Ethan look like that, never. Tia, he looks like he’s about to go on an uncountable killing spree, and I’m the only one here who knows him enough to calm him down if he gets out of hand.” Twilight told her marefriend. “But besides that I’ve also never seen him drink as much as he has during the one full day that he’s been here. I spent a little over a week with him and the only time he touched alcohol was when he was feeling depressed or needed to talk. I think that there’s something eating at him Tia.” Twilight continued, and Celestia nodded.

“There is. I couldn’t find out exactly what it is, but there is something troubling the man.” Celestia replied with a slight shiver. “It’s something terrible, Twilight…” She added more quietly.

“I can tell from his eyes. I’ll make sure that he doesn’t do anything that he’ll regret Tia.” Twilight whispered into Celestia’s ear, before she gave the elder mare a kiss on the lips and teleported away leaving Celestia lying on her bed, alone. Celestia sighed and wondered how long it would take for Luna to show up to regal her with tales of changeling reproduction methods.

“Sister, you won’t believe what I learned from Chrysalis!” Luna said excitedly as she appeared next to Celestia on the bed. Apparently it was just going to be one of those days.

“Lulu, what would mother say about your obsession with sex?” Celestia asked.

“She’d congratulate me on the breadth of my carnal knowledge and tell you not to be a hypocritical prude.” Luna replied with a smirk. Celestia sighed deeply as she took the letter out of her pocket demission and passed it to Luna.

“They kidnapped every child in the town?!” Luna shouted in angry surprise.

“Yes, and they’re currently being used as slave labor by a group of diamond dogs.” Celestia answered with an angry snarl.

“Then why aren’t you leading the assault to bring them back home?” Luna asked.

“Because we’re both needed here. I’m dispensing Shining Armor and a squadron of the Solar Guard to deal with it.” Celestia replied.

“You think that they can take down an entire mine full of diamond dogs with only one squad?” Luna asked incredulously.

“Both ambassadors have decided to add to the effort, and Ethan is dragging Twilight there as well. I think that they’ll be sufficient.” Celestia said with a tired sigh.

“Should I go as well?” Luna asked.

“No, like I said I need you here, Luna.” Celestia answered.

“Alright, Celly, I guess I’ll go take a nap than.” Luna told Celestia before she got off of the bed and walked out of the room.

“Be safe Twilight.” Celestia murmured before she too got to her hooves. There was another delegation coming to Canterlot today, and Celestia was happy to say that they’d be more than welcome allies in the capital.

***

“So this thing flies?” Ethan asked Twilight uncertainly as they stood together on one of the golden carriages. His face was still dark and angry, but it had chilled down now and wasn’t quite as volatile.

“Yes, it’s a simple spell really.” Twilight replied. She was once again wearing the combat armor that Ethan had gotten for her back when she had first arrived in the wasteland.

“Is everyone ready?” Shining Armor shouted over the din and bustle of the courtyard. There were several dozen loud replies that all boiled down to yes. “Alright then, let’s get on with this.” Shining shouted.

Ethan’s fingers tightened around the rail in front of him as the sky carriage suddenly lifted off of the ground under the power of two strong stallions of the Solar Guard. All around them, carriages took off while at the same time hippogriffs and griffins took to the air themselves. The trip was short enough that the two races didn’t mind the flight; in fact to them it was a good way to warm up their muscles for the coming combat. Ethan took a sip from his whiskey bottle and slowly loaded his shotgun, the Dinner Bell, with flechette rounds.

“Are you okay, Ethan?” Twilight asked him.

“No, but I will be soon.” Ethan replied with a grim smile; the sun was just beginning to set.

***

Cassandra suddenly cursed loudly, interrupting whatever Susan had been about to say.

“What?” Susan asked.

“I just realized why I’ve felt like I was missing something.” Cassandra replied.

“Why was it?” Boone asked interestedly.

“Ethan took one of my special grenades.” Cassandra said with a frown.

“Which one?” Boone asked.

“One of my holy frag grenades.” Cassandra said with a scowl. “He’d better not use it; I was saving those for something.”

“I’m sure he’ll return it. What could he possibly use it for?” Boone asked.

“I don’t know, but knowing Ethan…”

Editor’s Note:

G’day, everyone.

Furta E here.

Due to unforseen circumstances; I am no longer able to edit Light Wanderings.

I will miss editing this, mainly because it is my first experimental dip into the lake that is FimFiction.

Anywho, thanks for sticking around to read this.

Chapter 10

View Online

Edited by TacoTown

This is the point where the story earns its dark tag, oh and I foreshadowed almost everything in this chapter at some point or another so I hope you were paying attention, also please don’t hate me

Chapter ten

The sky chariots landed right outside the town of Ponyville, which looked thoroughly trashed. Ethan spotted several ponies helping the injured, and also attempting to sweep up the ash from several buildings that had apparently been put to the torch. A severely old looking pony walked up to Shining Armor.

“I hope that you’re here to get our children back.” She told Shining; Ethan noticed that a tear was forming in one of her eyes, but she ignored it in favor of giving Shining a very stern gaze.

“Why else would we be here?” Shining asked with a straight face. “How many are dead?” He asked, changing topics.

“None, thank the goddesses.” The mare replied with a relieved sigh. “We can recover from damage like this easily enough, but you need to focus on rescuing those foals and fillies.”

“Could you give us some directions?” Shining asked.

“They ran off towards that old mineshaft out near the woods, I believe that Miss Sparkle knows where it is.” The mare said. “Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to oversee the repairs before somepony hurts themselves with a hammer.” She said before walking away.

“Can you lead us there Twily?” Shining asked his sister, who nodded.

“Yes, I know the way.” Twilight replied before she started off towards the diamond dog mine.

“What can you tell me about these dogs…?” Ethan asked Twilight. His expression was still angry, but it was more like a bed of coals than the ragging inferno that it had been back at the castle. Twilight however, saw through that and she could see the rage just below the surface bidding it’s time until it could be released.

“They’re strong, stupid, and like to burrow underneath you when you’re fighting them. Other than the fact that they’ll outnumber us by a lot we should be fine.” Twilight explained.

“So in other words we’ll kill them all within a few minutes and then mount their disgusting heads on the walls of their cave.” Ethan said darkly. He received several nervous glances from the nearby guardponies, while the griffins and hippogriffs nodded appreciatively; they both used that particular practice to keep raider activity at a minimum.

“Whatever works.” Twilight agreed with a tiny smile that got her a surprised gasp from some of the older guards.

They’d known her since she was a filly, and they’d never thought that they’d hear Twilight Sparkle speak so dispassionately about death. Twilight hadn’t spoken much to people outside of her close friends and family about what she’d gone through in the wasteland. But it was easy to tell by the way that her robotic eye was always scanning the room for threats and the odd stance she’d get whenever something surprised her had been excessively stressful. Now however, it was more than apparent enough that something much worse must have happened. However, Shining Armor’s reaction surprised them even more. Instead of protesting, the Captain of the Solar Guard just shrugged as if he’d allow something like that to happen.

“I’m just glad that the letter said that Spike was fine aside from a bit of minor head trauma from when a wooden beam hit him in the back of the head.” Twilight told Ethan, who nodded curtly.

“He’s your younger brother, right?” Ethan asked.

“Not quite, but almost.” Twilight replied with a slight chuckle. “He’s a dragon.” She added.

“Knowing you, I’m not all that surprised. Bedding gods and raising dragons. That’s quintessential Twilight.” Ethan said with a chuckle as he regained a bit of his humor.

Several of the griffins and hippogriffs were startled by this exchange, but then they thought it over and shrugged. They’d heard of stranger things happening. Conversation died down until they came to the entrance of the mine, which had been covered by a large reinforced metal door.

“How are we going to get this open?” Shining asked as he inspected the doorway and gave it a firm smack of his metal shod hoof, which produced a dull bang. Several of the other guards along with one or two of the griffins had stepped forward to inspect the door, and they could find no way through it either.

“I suppose we could always look for another way around.” One of the griffins suggested.

“Step aside please.” Ethan said as he pushed his way through the growing crowd and began to apply small metal items to the door.

“What are those?” One of the hippogriffs asked.

“C4 plastic explosives.” Ethan replied as he continued his work.

“What do they do?” Shining asked.

“I’d like everyone to take a few dozen steps back; I wouldn’t want any of you vaporizing.” Ethan said instead of directly answering the question.

“What?” One of the guards asked in confusion as Ethan pulled out an odd metal object, otherwise known as a detonator.

“Either move out of the way or be instantly vaporized as the modified C4 I placed on that door explodes.” Ethan repeated. “Oh, and hurry because I really want to kill something.” He added casually as he flipped the cap off of the detonator. The guards exchanged worried glances and then quickly moved around twelve feet backwards.

The door didn’t explode so much as simply cease to exist under the power of the heavily modified explosives. They’d been enhanced by the power of ten Nuka Cola Quantums, and the lingering blue radiation caused his pipboy to click lightly against his hearing; he hardly cared.

He pushed through the still clearing fog of blue and found an oddly dog shaped biped staring stupidly at the large hole that he’d blown in the door. Without stopping to think he unloaded a shell of flechette rounds into the dog’s head, and then closed the distance to deliver a kick to the dog’s center of mass that sent it flying to the ground. Another two dogs stood a little bit farther down the hallway clutching spears.

Ethan let out an angry snarl and raced towards them. One of the dogs threw his spear at the man; it smashed into the chest piece of his armor and the tip broke in half. Ethan’s shotgun blasted once, cutting a large hole through the now spearless dog’s chest, unleashing a shower of gore. The third dog turned to stab Ethan, but the man had already grabbed the spear out of its paws and shoved it through the dog’s neck. This all happened within a few seconds of the door being blown open.

The guards along with the griffins and the hippogriff attachés stared in open shock at the now blood covered man who stood before them. They’d never seen anyone kill that swiftly and proficiently before. The guards were slightly terrified, the griffins and hippogriffs were impressed.

“Sparky, stay with me. The rest of you focus on getting the children out, I’ll handle the dogs.” Ethan told them stiffly before he set off down the tunnel with Twilight trotting beside him.

“Sir, do you think it’s safe to let her go with that… that thing?” One of the other Solar Guard asked as the two walked downward into the cavernous dark of the diamond dog lair.

“Would you like to volunteer to get her away from him?” Shining asked as he started forward.

“No Sir.”

***

Twilight and Ethan began to head towards the main cavern where the highest number of dogs was likely to be when suddenly the ground in front of them exploded and four heavily armored diamond dogs leapt out of the hole and began to charge at Ethan and Twilight. Twilight and Ethan acted simultaneously, a wave of purple energy sliced out from her horn and opened up two deep gashes across the chests of the two dogs on the right, sending them stumbling away as a river of blood began to cascade from their chests. She finished them off by sending them hurtling head first into the wall, splitting their skulls.

Ethan acted with equal speed as he ran forward and shoved the barrel of his shotgun into the nearest dog’s face and decorated the nearby wall with the canine’s brains. Then, he whirled on the second one and smashed the camouflaged stock of the weapon into the dog’s nose, breaking it instantly and sending the dog backwards, howling in pain. He followed up by kicking the dog in the crotch and while it bent forward reflexively, Ethan shot it in the head producing an explosion of grey mater.

“I like the new spell.” He told her, before setting off down the corridor again.

“Thanks.” Twilight replied quickly as her metallic leg clomped along the earthy ground beneath her hooves.

“I’m going to lose it Twilight.” Ethan whispered to her before taking a swig of whiskey.

“What do you mean?” Twilight asked in surprise.

“Once we get to this main chamber I’m going to lose it. Stay out of my way, please. I don’t know what I’d do if I accidentally killed you.” Ethan told her as a tear leaked out of his right eye.

“Ethan…” Twilight was about to add more, but they were cut off by the sound of a mare’s voice. The voice was coming from behind the wooden doorway to one of the dog’s bedrooms.

“Stay away from me!” The mare shouted; Twilight recognized that voice. It was Cheerilee!

“You’re a pretty mare, with everyone distracted no one will-” A voice began at a low growl; it was interrupted by Ethan breaking down the door with one kick.

With an angry roar Ethan charged forward, blue bladed knife in hand and leapt onto the dog’s back. He began to stab the dog repeatedly in the neck and the back along with the back of the skull, until it collapsed onto the floor in a bloody heap. Ethan quickly cleaned his knife on the dog’s fur and then slid it back into its sheath before turning to the mare who was staring with a mix of wide eyed fear and extreme gratitude. It was then that Ethan noticed that she’d been manacled to the bed and that she was spread in a very compromising position. With an angry snarl Ethan reached into the diamond dog’s pocket and pulled out an iron key. He then went about the process of unlocking the locks of the manacles and releasing the mare while Twilight watched for more dogs from the door.

“Thank you.” The mare whispered. “He was going to rape me.” She added unnecessarily.

“Do you know where they’re keeping the children?” Ethan asked.

“The main chamber, they’ve got them mining gems in the main chamber. I’m Cheerilee by the way, the school teacher.” The mare added.

“Stay here then Cheerilee, the others should get here soon.” Ethan told her with a comforting smile before he turned back to Twilight. “Alright Sparky, let’s kill these sons of bitches.”

“Yes, let’s.” Twilight said grimly.

“Twilight?” Cheerilee asked in surprise; she hadn’t recognized the unicorn at first glance.

“Sorry Cheerilee, but we don’t have time to waste. My brother should be in that direction.” Twilight said, pointing towards the exit of the mine.

“Sparky, come on.” Ethan told her as he walked out of the room and headed towards the main chamber.

Twilight gave Cheerilee an apologetic shrug, and took off after the man as he strode down the hallway. The school teacher stood there silently for a few moments while her mind processed what had just happened, along with the terrible alternative. She began to shake violently and almost threw up, but then she reigned in her emotions and began to breathe deep, calming breaths. Her students would need her soon, and Cheerilee would do almost anything for them, including being raped by a diamond dog.

***

Rescuing Cheerilee had slowed Ethan and Twilight down, so they arrived in the main chamber slightly behind Shining’s group who were currently fighting against thirty or so diamond dogs. Ethan ignored that, they looked perfectly capable of defeating the enemy before them; instead he turned to the other group of fifty or so dogs who were preparing to charge Shining’s position.

That’s when Ethan saw the foals and fillies; they’d been chained in place next to large gem deposits, and were being forced to mine the gems with pickaxes held loosely in their teeth. Many had deep cuts and lacerations crisscrossing their backs from where the dogs’ whips had struck repeatedly.

A part of Ethan broke; he let out a roar that could match even the loudest manticore, and charged straight towards the dog formation. One of the dogs turned around in time to see the man streak towards him. It was the last thing that he ever saw. Ethan’s shotgun blew his head to smithereens. Ethan fired into another dog, shredding his chest as the flechette rounds smashed through the armor and into the flesh underneath, leaving nothing but bloody ribbons of skin behind. As he fought, Ethan continued to scream in anger. His shotgun ran empty, but instead of reloading it he simply holstered it and drew A Light Shining in the Darkness along with Blood-Nap.

Four diamond dogs turned on him, each holding a large two handed claymore; Ethan sprang inside the guard of the nearest and slit his throat with a half dozen slashes before emptying a round in the dog’s brain. He evaded a strike from the next closest dog, and shouted as he unloaded two rounds into the dog’s muzzle before driving his knife deep into the dog’s chest and slicing downward. He pulled the knife free with a flourish, and a streak of blood shot off of it and landed on his chest armor, streaking it red.

“DIE!” Ethan shouted as the last two diamond dogs charged him simultaneously.

He ran forward to meet them and ducked underneath their clumsy sword stroke. His knife slashed out and cut off the arm of the dog on the right from the wrist down. The dog stumbled back clutching at its wrist, but Ethan reached out and pulled it into the sword thrust of its friend. The last dog looked down at his former friend hanging limply on his blade, along with the man who had just killed three of its pack mates in less than thirty second and did the only thing it could think of. It pissed itself and tried to run away while letting the sword fall to the ground.

Ethan let out another incomprehensible shout and shot the fleeing dog in the back of the head four times, before reloading his pistol and switching into VATS. Ethan spent four seconds lining up shots, and then ended the session. Five dogs dropped almost instantaneously as the .45 auto rounds blew their heads open.

Twilight was handling herself as well, although not nearly as violently as Ethan. She sent out a burst of purple magic that ripped through the armor of the dog directly in front of her and shredded the flesh beneath in a small self-contained whirlwind of magic. Another dog carrying a spear charged her, and Twilight caught the spear mid stab with her magic before yanking it out of the dog’s paws and impaling him through the chest.

Four dogs charged her at once and instead of confronting them she grabbed a nearby stalactite from the ceiling and sent it crashing down through the first’s head. The other three exchanged an uneasy glance and tried to back away, but it was a bit too late to take that option. Twilight’s horn flashed once and a glowing purple ball of magic hit the dog at the center of the group in the chest. The ball exploded in a flash of heat that literally melted the skin of the dog, while at the same time superheating the dog’s armor so that it now resembled a messy puddle as it burned its way down the dog’s legs. The other two dogs were also dealt a similar fate and died screaming.

Ethan had run out of spare clips for his pistol and didn’t want to go through the trouble of reloading the shotgun, so he simply holstered Light and charged a diamond dog holding a short sword. The dog took a swing at him, but Ethan blocked the blow with the edge of his knife before his knife hand shot out and impaled itself in the dog’s paw. The dog let out a pained whine as it dropped the sword. Before the sword could fall to the floor Ethan was already stabbing the dog in the throat with the knife; his free hand shot out and grabbed the short sword out of the air. He then spun around and stabbed the sword through the chest of a dog who thought he was being sneaky. At this point Ethan had begun to cry, salty tears rolled down his face intermixing with the blood.

“Not again, never again!” He shouted madly as he slashed through a dog’s arm and then stabbed it in the stomach with the knife.

A dog got lucky and stabbed Ethan through his lightly armored sword hand. Ethan didn’t even seem to notice the blade as he jerked his hand to the right, pulling it right out of the dog’s paw. His hand healed the second that the blade was no longer imbedded in it, while Ethan’s knife rained a flurry of slashes across the dog’s face, cutting out its eyes along and tearing a vicious slash along the side of its muzzle, revealing yellow stained teeth.

Twilight was running out of magic for the moment, so instead she drew her plasma defender and began to rain green death upon the dogs closest to her, causing several to dissolve into glowing green goo.

Shining and the other guards looked up in time to see Ethan’s newly acquired claymore split a dog in half from head to crotch while Twilight’s plasma defender blasted a dog into glowing plasma, starting with its head. The eyes of the guards bugged out as Ethan shouted again and tackled another dog, throwing it to the ground while stabbing it in the stomach. As he withdrew the knife a thin string of intestines flowed out with it, but Ethan just tore it off before targeting another dog.

“What is he?” One of the guards asked in terror as Ethan’s hands broke a dog’s arm before the man stabbed the dog through the bottom of its jaw and slashed downward opening up its throat for all to see.

“I think that they’ve got the situation under control, we should focus on the children.” Shining said, just now remembering that there were children in the room watching the bloodshed.

That unfroze the guards as they noticed the foals and fillies who were watching with open mouthed horror as Ethan and Twilight dismembered their way through the crowd of diamond dogs. The smell of death had filled the air, and several had thrown up where they’d been sitting. The guards hustled to the job of unchaining the children and getting them back to their feet. He noticed two familiar fillies standing so that they obscured most of a third.

“You’re Rarity’s sister, aren’t you?” Shining asked the small white unicorn who nodded uncertainly. “And you’re Tax Checker’s daughter, aren’t you?” Shining added turning to the little pegasus.

“Yeah, that’s us.” The unicorn said and then winced as Ethan let out another blood curdling roar and roughly bisected a diamond dog with a sword he’d picked up.

“Ignore them; what’s wrong with your friend?” Shining asked turning to look at the filly on the ground. She was a normal earth pony with a red bow in her hair. Right now she was curled up with her back to the wall, and her eyes closed tightly.

“They whipped her because she was defending Pip.” Sweetie told Shining and then winced at the memory.

“Move.” Shining ordered, the two fillies exchanged a look and then stepped aside so that Shining could get a better look at their friend. Shining fought down bile as he carefully picked the filly up in his magic and exposed her backside. Her back was covered with dozens of long lacerations from the places where the whip had struck repeatedly, many of which had yet to scab over and were still bleeding profusely. “Fuck!” Shining exclaimed, while completely forgetting about the two impressionable fillies right in front of him.

“Is she going to be alright?” Scootaloo asked worriedly as she looked at her friend in concern.

“I do- of course she’ll be okay!” Shining said as he gave them a big smile. “I just need to get her to one of the combat medics, follow me.” Shining told them as he set off with Applebloom tucked securely in his magic. The two other fillies followed him closely.

***

Ethan’s eyes were still tearing up as he tackled the final dog to the ground and began to punch it mercilessly. If he’d been paying attention than he would’ve noticed the fact that the dog’s eyes were dead and black, and the fact that the heart had stopped beating, but Ethan was beyond that by this point.

“Ethan, we won. The dogs are dead, you can stop now.” Twilight told the man gently as continued to smash into the dog’s face. His blue eyes were out of focus and tear strained while his breathing came in short angry bursts. A thin line of foam was working its way down from his mouth. He ignored her and continued to smash the dog’s now thoroughly destroyed head in. “SNAP OUT OF IT!” Twilight shouted, causing Ethan and several of the nearby guards to jump in surprise.

“What… did you say something Sparky?” Ethan asked, turning to her in surprise. His eyes had refocused and he wiped away the string of drool with his right sleeve.

“I said you can stop, we killed them all.” Twilight told Ethan.

“Well, what do you know, we did…” Ethan said, looking around himself as if he was coming out of a daze, then he quickly took out his flask of whiskey and took a long sip. Suddenly he felt the whiskey being torn out of his grip by Twilight’s purple magic.

“No! No more whiskey!” Twilight shouted.

“Twilight, I need it!” Ethan told her desperately as he snatched at the flask. “I need it to keep me sane Sparky, if don’t have I than I’ll start to think about it!” Ethan exclaimed as he pulled the drink away from her.

“You’ll think about what? Ethan, you were never a drunk when I in the Wasteland. What the hell could make you drink this much?” Twilight asked softly.

“That’s none of your business.” Ethan snarled.

“Bullshit. Ethan, you went fucking insane back there. Either you tell me what it is that you want to forget so badly or I’ll send you back to the goddamned Wasteland myself!” Twilight shouted. Ethan stiffened and his eyes narrowed for a second, before he let out a sigh and all of anger drained out of his body.

“Fine, I’ll tell you Sparky…” Ethan said as a melancholy look crossed his face. “…but not here, not in front of them.” Ethan added with a glance towards several of the guards, along with a griffin or two who did their best to appear uninterested in the conversation.

“No. Ethan, I think you have a problem but you have to tell me what’s wrong now. If you don’t I’m not sure that I’ll feel comfortable bringing you around anyone, let alone my friends and family.” Twilight told him, and Ethan shuddered.

“Twilight, I-”

“Ethan, I saw you go through a lot in the wasteland while I was there. I almost died… a lot. The only one who I had to depend on was you; I took down all of my barriers and told you everything about myself. You saved me in more ways than one Ethan, and I want to return the favor now.” Twilight told him gently.

“Can, can we at least get away from this place? It makes me sick.” Ethan asked as he gazed around the room at the mutilated diamond dog corpses.

“Alright Ethan, close your eyes.” Twilight told him before she turned to one of the guards. “Tell Celestia that we’ll be fine, I’m taking him to a special place.” Twilight told the guard who nodded from behind his visor. Twilight and Ethan vanished a second later.

***

They reappeared in a surprisingly gloomy place. Ethan had been expecting someplace sunny, perhaps a forest glade, or a babbling brook. Instead Ethan found himself standing underneath a single beam of light that illuminated what must have once been a magnificent throne room of some kind. Ethan looked around but found that most of the room was obscured by darkness. It wasn’t a threatening kind of darkness. No, it was the kind of darkness that wraps around you comfortingly and protectively, keeping the monsters who walk the light at bay.

“Where, where are we?” Ethan asked Twilight who had laid down on the broken cobblestone floor beside him. Ethan joined her on the ground, and found it to be surprisingly comfortable.

“We’re in the old palace hidden deep in Everfree forest.” Twilight replied easily. “Nothing should disturb us here; now tell me what the hell happened to you.”

“It was a couple of months ago…”

***

Ethan Smith trailed the raider silently. He was wearing his Chinese stealth suit, in order to completely avoid detection on the off chance that his quarry turned around or showed some unexpected burst of intelligence and decided to actually look for some form of pursuit. Ethan was happy, it was almost time for him to go and visit Cassandra. She’d been pregnant for around five months and it was showing. She needed Ethan around for support, but he knew he couldn’t just leave the Capital Wasteland abandoned and without his special selection of talents.

He’d been trailing this particular raider for an hour as the fool made his way across the wasteland’s brown landscape. Apparently there had been some kind of big raid planned, but if Ethan’s source was right then he’d be able to stop it before things really got going. At last the raider approached a baseball field, and much to Ethan’s shock he turned and looked straight into Ethan’s eyes through the mask of his stealth suit.

“Well, well, well, what do we have here?” The raider asked with a chuckle, then he tossed a pulse grenade at Ethan and suddenly Ethan’s world was filled with static.

***

Ethan awoke some time later tied to a large metal stake with thick titanium chains that even he couldn’t wiggle or break out of. The stake was driven into a rough concrete floor, and a large tent stretched over top of them .The raider stood in front of Ethan with a wide smile on his face as he fingered a long tube like gun that Ethan recognized. It was the railway rifle. Oh, this was going to suck…The raider removed his psycho tick helmet, revealing a surprisingly intelligent face that Ethan knew from somewhere, he just couldn’t put his finger on it.

“Ah, hello. I was wondering when you’d wake up.” The raider said in a chillingly calm voice for someone wearing a suit of blood and spike covered armor.

“Sorry to keep you waiting, I’ll do better next time.” Ethan said with a smirk, he’d been in far worse situations than this and knew that all he had to do was buy himself time. The raider smiled coldly.

“I don’t believe that there will be a next time for you.” The raider replied.

“Aww, and here I was looking forward to a nice game of cat and mouse before I sent a bullet through your head.” Ethan said with a pout.

Instead of replying, the raider’s gun whistled once and Ethan found that a large railroad spike had been driven into his chest. Ethan looked down at the stake in his chest and winced, that wasn’t going to come out easily…

“If you’re smart you’ll stay quiet.” The raider told him before shooting another stake into Ethan’s chest with a small explosion of blood.

“Sorry, but I don’t listen to pricks.” Ethan said as he spat a stream of blood at the raider’s feet, earning himself another stake to the chest.

“I see, how unfortunate for you.” The raider told him as blood poured down Ethan’s chest.

“Yeah, you wouldn’t believe how many pricks live in the wasteland, and for some reason they all seem to get hard around me.” Ethan replied with a pained cough as a streak of blood flew from his mouth. Another stake in the chest later and Ethan was beginning to wonder if he should stop talking. Nah, you should never stop talking when tied to a rod with stakes coming out of your chest.

“You’re an impudent fool.” The raider said venomously.

“Would you mind telling me your name? After all, I’ll need something to carve into your gravestone once I kill you.” Ethan asked.

“My name is Sinclair Autumn, you killed my father, and I’m going to kill you.” The raider said, and Ethan suddenly realized why the man before him looked so familiar. Add a few years and you got an almost perfect copy of Augustus Autumn.

“A real chip off the old block, ain’t ya?” Ethan asked with a smirk.

“I can’t believe that it was you who did it, how could someone as stupid, ignorant, and disrespectful ever do what you did?” Sinclair said; he appeared to be talking to himself.

“Well your father kinda forced me to.” Ethan replied, earning a stake to the stomach. “Would you cut that out? It’s beginning to sting a bit.” Ethan asked causing the raider to fire a stake into his right shoulder.

“You destroyed everything that I loved; you killed everyone that I loved. I’m going to kill you slowly and then sell your body to the Institute, I’m sure that they’d love the chance to turn the man who’s destroyed so many of their toys into an android.” Sinclair said before he sent a wad of spit onto Ethan’s face.

“As nice as that offer sounds, I think I’ll have to say no.” Ethan replied earning yet another stake, this time it buried itself into his left shoulder.

“But before I kill you I’m going to make you witness something truly horrible.” Sinclair continued as if he hadn’t even heard Ethan’s remark. “Bring him in.” Sinclair called over his shoulder. Ethan heard the sounds of a scuffle and another raider entered the tent holding a struggling, child sized bag in his arms. Ethan could hear muted cursing coming within the bag, and a chill traveled down his spine, he knew that voice. The raider grabbed the sack and uplifted it, spilling Mayor MacCready out onto the floor.

The child’s hands were bound behind his back and his legs were tied together. His face was covered in bruises and Ethan could tell that his nose had been broken at some point recently. He’d been stripped to the waist and to Ethan’s intense anger it appeared that someone had been practicing their knife skills on his arms and chest.

“Fucking mungo! The hell do you think you’re doing to me? I’ll gut you and then fuck your goddamned-” MacCready began but he was cut off as Sinclair kicked him in the stomach, silencing him easily. Ethan struggled against his bonds but it was to no avail, he was stuck.

“You see Mister Smith, there are consequences to every action that you make and for killing my father I’m going to make those consequences very very dire.” Sinclair told him as he rolled MacCready onto his stomach facing Ethan, so that he could look straight into the young man’s eyes. Sinclair then placed one of his feet onto MacCready’s back, holding him in place. Bothe MacCready and Ethan struggled, but neither one could get free. “No funny remark? No arrogant comeback? No pointless little quip?” Sinclair asked as he pointed the railway rifle’s barrel at MacCready’s head. Ethan glared at him, but remained silent.

A smirk crossed Sinclair’s face. “As much as I hate to ruin a pureblooded vault dweller I think that I’ll be making an exception in this case. Oh, and just to let you know I already dispatched a squad to kill the other children, I just thought that you’d like to see this one die in the flesh.” Sinclair told Ethan as he prepared to fire.

“If you do this I’ll make what happened to your father look like a walk through the park. I will literally tear you apart with my bare hands until ther-” Ethan began, but was interrupted by sound of the gun going off. A railroad spike now protruded from the back of MacCready’s head, nailing it to the floor. Ethan stared in shocked silence before twin lines of tears formed on his face and he began to pull and strain against the metal stake even harder than before.

“And now you see your fate, doomed to watch as everyone that you love is ground down under the boot of the Enclave. You’ve always thought that you were better than us, that you were smarter, that you were stronger. Well, I guess that we both know the answer to that don’t we?” Sinclair asked with a sinister smile.

“Yes, I suppose we do.” Ethan said with a wide, slightly insane looking grin as the chains holding him fell away, the lock picked.

“Oh shit!” Sinclair shouted as he leapt backwards trying to get away from Ethan.

“You just killed one of my friends, and apparently you’ve also killed some of my other friends.” Ethan said as he rose to his feet and stalked towards Sinclair, who was pointing his railway rifle at Ethan. He pulled the trigger and another stake slammed into Ethan’s chest, but the man was too angry to even notice it.

“Do you Enclave fucks even realize that you could’ve been the saviors of the wasteland?” Ethan asked as he moved forward towards Sinclair, who turned to run out of the tent. Ethan reached forward and grabbed the man by the shoulder. “Instead you’ve spent your time terrorizing, destroying, and killing it.” Ethan’s smile stretched all the way across his face as he turned Sinclair around to face him again. “Your father was a piece of shit. Hell, he was the biggest piece of shit I’ve ever met.” Ethan punched the man in the chest, cracking several ribs. “But you surpass him. Not only that, but you’re stupid.”

Sinclair tried to fight back by punching at Ethan’s jaw, but Ethan caught the fist in midair and broke the knuckles of the man’s hand.

“You really thought that your chains would hold me? I’m the LONE FUCKING WANDERER YOU ASSHOLE!” Ethan said as he smashed his foot into Sinclair’s. “I’ve broken out of your highest security prison. Hell I’ve escaped an alien fucking spaceship. You really thought that FUCKING chains would hold me?!” Ethan shouted as he broke Sinclair’s arm with a simple twist of his wrist. Sinclair was sniveling in pain at this point, but Ethan’s eyes were hard blue glaciers of hate.

“Please.” Sinclair managed to choke out.

“Please what? Don’t kill me? Don’t give into your thirst for vengeance? Don’t tie your intestines around your neck and strangle you with them? Well you should’ve thought of that before you KILLED MY FRIEND!” Ethan shouted as he slammed his knee into Sinclair’s groin and cast him to the floor with an almost indifferent air.

“And surprise surprise, here you are lying on the ground face first like the little bitch that you are.” Ethan told him. Suddenly, another enclave soldier dressed up as a raider burst into the tent carrying a plasma rifle. Before he could even blink Ethan had disarmed him and shot him in the face with his own rifle. Then, Ethan turned back to Sinclair.

“For what you did I should do horrible things to you. I should keep you alive and in agony for years before finally killing you. But I’m not that kind of man. Any last words you filthy piece of trash?” Ethan asked as he readied the rifle.

“Fuc-” Sinclair began but Ethan’s foot was faster. It slammed down into the man’s neck, snapping it. Then the Lone Wanderer made his way back to where MacCready’s lifeless body lay on the ground, and began to weep.

***

“Ethan…” Twilight said as she leaned into the man’s side offering her warmth; the man was outright weeping at this point and the front of his armor was soaked with a mixture of recently undried blood and tears. Twilight now realized where all of those new scars had come from. They’d been from where Ethan had had to pull the railroad spikes out of his very body. Even for him, the pain must have been almost intolerable.

“There’s more.”

***

“No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, NO!” Ethan shouted. The main barricade to Little Lamplight was broken and covered with the bodies of each child who had lived here. Their bodies had been torn apart by rippers and scorched by laser and plasma fire, but the heads of the bodies had been left untouched and Ethan could easily name each and every one of them. And they all stared at him with their dead eyes, asking him why he hadn’t been there to save them…

***

“Ethan, I’m so sorry.” Twilight said as she turned to hug the man who was still crying. Ethan rocked gently back and forth as Twilight held him.

“It was all my fault Sparky, if I’d been a second sooner.” Ethan said in-between sobs.

“Then you would’ve only saved MacCready.” Twilight soothed. “It wasn’t your fault Ethan, and that’s certainly no reason to turn to this for comfort.” She added before throwing the flask of whiskey out of one of the nearby windows.

“Dammit Sparky, it was my fault. I should’ve listened to you. They were vulnerable; I should’ve done something to defend them!” Ethan shouted.

“Ethan, these things happen in the Wasteland. Didn’t you always tell me that it’s constantly looking for a way to bitch slap you? I’d say that what you’re doing right now is just opening yourself up to more pain!” Twilight replied heatedly.

“Shut up Sparky, you have no idea what it means to go through what I’ve gone through!” Ethan shouted at her, turning his tearstained face to glare at her. “I lost my mother, my father, my first love, and too many to count and all you’ve ever lost is your goddamned eye!”

“Have you asked Cassandra to sit down and talk about this alcohol problem?” Twilight asked, ignoring his previous comment.

“Of course not, she has too much on her mind without having to worry about me!” Ethan said angrily. “Besides, she’d probably get mad at me about it. I helped her get clean and now I’m a hypocrite.” Ethan said with a dejected angry sigh.

“Are you angry at her about that?” Twilight asked carefully as if her voice was standing on thin ice.

“It’s not her fault, I’m just a horrible husband… and I’ll be a horrible father too.” Ethan said miserably.

“Stop it Ethan! You’re a great husband and you’ll make a great father too!” Twilight told him.

“Then why am I here instead of back in the wasteland looking after my family Sparky?” Ethan asked quietly.

“Because I needed you Ethan.” Twilight replied softly.

“Well, I guess there’s that.” Ethan said softly as he pulled Twilight closer to him and buried his face in the soft coat around her neck.

“Ethan you’ve got to get over this and becoming a drunken wreck isn’t the way to do it.” Twilight told Ethan softly.

“I know Sparky, but how else can I do it?” Ethan asked. “Whenever I’m not buzzed I see MacCready’s head staring at me.” He added with a half sob.

“I think I might know someone who can help.” Twilight replied, pulling her neck away from Ethan’s face and giving him a smile before she kissed him on the cheek. “Come on Ethan, let’s get back to Canterlot. You need a nap… and a bath.”

“I’m not really ready yet; can we stay here for a little while?” Ethan asked her, Twilight nodded, and then she unexpectedly began to sing and a phantom guitar joined in.

Some roads are straight and narrow, some paths are high and steep

Some ways are slow and heavy, Some tracks are dark and deep

But this trail's the one I follow, no matter where it leads

And I know I'll never wander... as long as I heed

Unconsciously Ethan found himself joining in the and their voices mixed together in the ruined castle as the light from outside began to fade

No matter where or how far it goes,

I'll walk it without fail

Because I know that no matter what

I'll lay my burdens down at the end... of this trail

My load is mine to carry along, I packed it all myself

I chose what to leave behind on that old and dusty shelf

Though memories may follow, I'll pay them not a care

My troubles are all my own, my treasures I will share

No matter how sore my hooves, I know that I'll go on

So though I may be weary, I will still move along

Because no journey lasts forever, there's an end to this tale

And I will lay my sorrows down at the end... of the trail.

Though rocks may trip and slow me

Though rain may lash my mane

Though love may call out to me

Though mud may bog my passage

Though snow may chill me through

Though dust and wind may blind me

There's one thing I must do.

I look ahead and find myself at the journey's end

And finally I see again both family and friend

And those that still walk along, please don't weep and wail

For I have laid my troubles down at the end... of the trail.

Yes to those who still love me, please don't weep and wail

I'll be waiting for you at the end... of the trail.

“Where did you learn that?” Ethan asked quietly.

“Pinkie was singing it once; she said something about blackjack and started to cry while she sang it.” Twilight said with a sigh.

“I can see why, it’s beautiful.” Ethan said reverently. “What’s it called?” He asked

“At the End of the Trail.” Twilight replied. “So Ethan, are you ready to go?” She asked.

“You know, I think I am.” Ethan said as a small smile settled across his face.

Chapter 11

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Edited by TacoTown

Chapter eleven

Twilight and Ethan appeared in her library home in a flash of purple light. Spike, who had been smoking his
bubble pipe in a red nightgown, a book in one hand and a plate of cookies lay upon his lap, jumped into the air in surprise, scattering cookies all over the floor.

“Spike, what have I told you about eating sweets when I’m not home?” Twilight asked the dragon, who blushed.

“Well, I was baking a batch for whenever you came home, and these are the testers.” Spike said as he began to crawl around the floor and pick up cookies.

“Mhm…” Twilight said as she raised an eyebrow at the dragon while he finished getting the cookies off of the floor. “So where is the rest of the batch?” Twilight asked.

“I’m about to put them in the oven.” Spike replied, and then he noticed Ethan.

The dragon’s eyes took in the blood, gore, and tear covered man, and his eyes went wide. Ethan looked terrible; his eyes were shadowed and bloodshot while his hair was soaked through with dried blood. Dirt and blood caked his skin in a firm layer of grime that was impressive, even for someone like him. His armor however, was unharmed; apparently Rarity’s enhancements and enchantments had worked very well.

“So I’m guessing that you’re Ethan?” Spike asked after a few seconds of quiet observation. He’d heard a lot of stories about the guy, and Twilight had sent him a message saying that the man had arrived so he was hardly shocked to see him covered in blood and gore. He was a dragon, so things like that didn’t really matter to him.

“Yeah… that’s me.” Ethan said. To Spike, his voice sounded tired and defeated, almost as if he’d been shouting a lot.

“Do you want a cookie?” Spike asked as offered one of the cookies in his hand to the man, who eyed it oddly for a few seconds before taking it and popping into his mouth. His eyes lit up as the sugar rolled over his taste buds and he eagerly held out his hand for another.

“Ethan, you need to bathe. Who knows whose blood you just shoved into your mouth along with that cookie.” Twilight commanded before Ethan could grab another.

“But Sparky, they taste incredible!” Ethan protested as he swallowed the last of the cookie.

“Look at your hands.” She instructed and Ethan did so. His gloves were so covered in blood and gore that it was almost impossible to see the material beneath the surface.

“Fine, I guess you’re right.” Ethan said dejectedly as he began to take off his armor. “But what about you Sparky? You’re just as dirty as I am.” Ethan asked, gesturing at Twilight who was also wearing blood covered armor. Her horn lit and suddenly a wave of purple energy washed over her. Once the energy had disappeared Twilight was much cleaner, although there was still a bit of blood clinging to her mane. “Cheater.” Ethan snorted, regaining a small amount of his humor.

“It’s not perfect, but you need the shower way more than I do; it’s upstairs and to the right.” Twilight told him with a nod of her head towards the stairs. Ethan sighed and made his way towards the stairs slowly, almost as if his armor had suddenly gained fifty pounds. Once he passed out of sight Twilight heard him walk into the bathroom, and then the sound of his armor hitting the floor with a heavy thud followed by the noise of water coming from the shower.

“What’s wrong with him?” Spike asked. “He doesn’t seem much like the way that you described him.” The dragon added.

“He’s dealing with PTSD, or at least I think that’s what it’s called.” Twilight answered. “Honestly I haven’t had to deal with anything like that in, well, ever. I mean, being around Tia made it easy for me to ignore the bad parts of the Wasteland. Hell, I love my new eye and leg; it’s kind of hard to imagine life without them at this point.” She said while lightly stomping her metal leg on the wooden floor to make her point.

“PTSD?” Spike said in confusion.

“Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder Spike, it affects people who’ve been through horrible events and have seen people that they care about die.” Twilight explained while she poured herself a cup of tea.

“What does it do?” Spike asked.

“It depends. Sometimes it gives them nightmares, sometimes it makes them anti-social, most of the time at the very least it gives them flashbacks of the events that gave them it in the first place. I read about it in one of my psychology books a while ago.” Twilight explained.

“So Ethan has it and that’s why he was acting so depressed?” Spike asked.

“I believe so, yes. He had to watch one of his best friends die, and then found out that an entire town of children had just been killed by an enemy that he thought that he’d already destroyed.” Twilight replied with a sad frown.

“Wait, what happened?” Spike asked in horrified surprise.

“I’ll tell you later Spike, but I need to write a few letters in private right now. Tell Ethan that he can have the guest bedroom.” Twilight told the dragon before she headed towards the basement.

“Why are you writing letters in the basement?” Spike asked in surprise.

“This is going to require a bit of research from some of my older tomes, and I can’t bring those up here or else they’ll be damaged by the unshielded air. Besides, there are some things going on right now that worry me and I need to do a bit of research.” Twilight explained as she opened the basement door.

“So I just keep him company.” Spike said.

“Yep, it shouldn’t be too hard.” Twilight replied. “Just keep him busy until he goes to bed, this’ll be an all-nighter.” Twilight added.

“Whatever you say Twilight.” Spike told her with roll of his eyes and a smile.

“Oh, and where are my cookies?” The purple unicorn added with a playful chuckle.

“Umm… here you go.” Spike replied while handed her the tray of cookies after a few seconds of silent internal deliberation as he decided whether or not it was worth it to keep the cookies or not.

“Thanks Spike, see you tomorrow afternoon or so.” Twilight told the dragon before she gave him a peck on the cheek and closed the basement door.

The sound of running water stopped a few moments later, and Spike heard the sound of Ethan bumping around in the bathroom for several minutes before he heard the door creak open. Ethan walked down the stairs a few seconds later once again wearing his armor, which seemed to have miraculously cleaned itself while he’d been showering. He looked better without the lines of blood and dirt streaking his body.

“Where’s Sparky?” Ethan asked a little tiredly.

“She said that she had some research to do in the basement, so it’s just you and me.” Spike replied with a shrug.

“Oh… alright.” Ethan said with a sigh as he sat down in one of the easy chairs that were scattered around the room. The chair groaned slightly from his weight, but it subsided quickly and Ethan’s eyes began to look over the small reptile before him. “You know, I always thought that dragons would be taller.” Ethan said with a slight chuckle.

“Well I’m a baby dragon.” Spike clarified. “I won’t get that much bigger until I’m around a hundred or so when I hit my first real growth spurt.”

“You’re going to live that long?” Ethan asked in surprise.

“Apparently being a dragon is the next best thing to being immortal.” Spike replied with a grin. “The oldest known dragon lived somewhere around fifty thousand years, and only died because some knight killed him.” The dragon replied with a shrug.

“So no one really knows how long you can live.” Ethan said as he removed A Light Shining in the Darkness from his holster and began to slowly clean the gun. Cassandra would kill him if it broke or got damaged from misuse, or clogged with dirt and blood.

“Yeah. Personally, I’m hoping to beat that record.” Spike replied with a cheeky grin.

“Well I wish you luck.” Ethan said with a chuckle.

“Thanks, so umm…” Spike said, trailing off as he tried to think of a new topic of conversation.

“Do you know why Sparky came here instead of heading back to Canterlot?” Ethan asked Spike.

“Well you can only teleport so far, and I’m guessing that the teleport, along with whatever battle you were just in, probably drained her a lot.” Spike replied with a shrug.

“Ah, magical exhaustion.” Ethan said, but Spike shook his head.

“Na if it was that bad she’d have gone right to bed, she’s just running low.” The dragon said.

“I’m going to sleep; it’s been a long day of fighting and I could really use a rest.” Ethan told Spike, who nodded.

“Twilight said that you could have the guest’s bedroom. It’s the one on the left.” Spike told him. Ethan nodded thankfully and headed towards the stairs. “Call me if you need anything.” Spike called after him, he received no answer except the sound of Ethan’s footfalls upstairs.

***

Twilight sat in her basement in a firm cushioned chair behind a large desk, a light spell floating next to her head. Twilight peered deep into an old tome of lost arcane knowledge. Well it was actually a psychology book, but that’s beside the point. An unfinished letter to Celestia sat beside her on the tabletop, but Twilight was too busy reading to worry about finishing it. Shining should’ve reported in by now and told Tia that she was alright, so Twilight didn’t have to worry about her lover fretting over her lack of correspondence.

The book before her was one of the older books on the subject of psychology; in particular it covered the thought processes of soldiers after the last hippogriff war. It was a surprisingly interesting book, containing several extremely detailed interviews from soldiers who’d fought their way through the hippogriff held territories. Included along with that was an extremely in-depth look at the way that soldiers who’d lost their entire units in combat operated on a mental level afterwards.

All in all, it was a wealth of knowledge that Twilight definitely needed if she was going to help Ethan out of his current slump. His moodiness was starting to disturb Twilight; she was used to him almost always smiling, or smirking, or laughing at his own jokes while everyone else in the room stared in bewilderment; now he was somber and even his snarking had died for the most part. Worse by far however, was the drinking. Twilight had seen drinking destroy several respectable ponies from her days at Celestia’s School for Gifted Unicorns, and she didn’t want Ethan to turn into one of those dead-eyed drunkards.

The real question was, what could she do to prevent it? She already knew that Ethan didn’t think that either she or Celestia were really capable of talking to him about it. Twilight herself wouldn’t work because as Ethan had said, she hadn’t really lost anything that dear to her so she wouldn’t understand what it was like, and Celestia because neither really respected the other. She briefly considered Luna, but discarded the idea. The Princess of the Night was still extremely sensitive about her time as Nightmare Moon, and Twilight didn’t want to subject Ethan to an emotional breakdown from a goddess of the night.

Twilight also briefly mused about asking Discord for help; after all, he had become a sort of unofficial therapist around the castle, but she quickly banished that idea back to stone where it belonged. Not only did the idea of using the god of chaos to help Ethan disgust her out of principle, along with lingering hatred for the beast, but she was concerned with the type of damage Ethan would do if he fell under Discord’s control.

After all, no matter how much good he’d been doing lately he was still an evil, bat-shit insane god of chaos and disharmony who’d mind-raped her and her friends with the ambition to overtake the throne and turn Equestria into a twisted wasteland of cotton candy and bubblegum. Twilight probably would’ve preferred Equestria being like Ethan’s wasteland to that twisted fate. At least then she’d have an idea of how to survive, unlike what would happen if Discord ever truly won. Then again, if the snake ever did win than Twilight would likely be dead, or most likely something far worse and indescribably more painful.

That left her options for helping the man incredibly slim. An un expected flash of light from behind her interrupted Twilight’s musing, and she turned to find the violet eyes of Celestia regarding her with a worried expression.

“Oh hi Tia, I wasn’t expecting you.” Twilight said with a tiny blush as she remembered the blood still streaked through her mane, and still noticeable in several places over her purple fur.

“I heard that something happened with Ethan.” Celestia said after she gave Twilight a quick kiss.

“Yes, he’s hurting Tia.” Twilight whispered after the warming effects of the alicorn’s kiss had decreased.

“Tell me about it.” Celestia said as she lay down on one of the padded rugs that decorated the basement’s floor. Twilight got out of her chair and lay down next to her, leaning against the elder white mare.

“He watched one of his best friends, who couldn’t be older than sixteen, get shot through the back of the head with a railroad spike while he was forced to sit helplessly and watch. Then he escaped and went to try and prevent the ones who did that from destroying a town of children, but by the time he got there they were all dead and mutilated horribly.” Twilight explained with a sad sigh.

“An entire settlement of children killed…” Celestia said in shock.

“Yes, and apparently he’s been dealing with it by drinking.” Twilight added.

“That’s not good, that’s not good at all.” Celestia said with a shake of her head. “Over my long life I’ve seen nothing consume as many good souls as alcohol.” She added. “Of course, that doesn’t mean that I don’t enjoy the occasional bottle or ten of wine…” She finished with a light chuckle.

“Tia…” Twilight said, giving her marefriend a hard glance.

“Sorry dear, I was trying to lighten the mood. Anyways I think I should talk to him, Faust knows I’ve seen things that easily compare to what he’s gone through.” Celestia said with a sigh.

“I don’t think that that would work Tia, you two haven’t quite gotten off on the right hoof.” Twilight advised. “Besides, shouldn’t you be in Canterlot?”

“Lulu should be able to handle things. After all, what’s the worst that could happen?” Celestia asked. Twilight had a sudden flashback of Ethan telling her to never say that, and couldn’t fight the sinking feeling that something bad would likely happen very soon.

“I don’t know. Maybe you should go back and let me look for someone else to help with Ethan.” Twilight suggested, but Celestia just shook her head.

“I’ve been treating him badly since he got here Twilight. Honestly, I’ve been more than a bit of a… well, a bitch. If I can help him get over what happened than maybe he’ll accept my apology. After all, he did manage to get the majority of the foals back unharmed.” Celestia said.

“Some died?” Twilight asked in shock.

“No!” Celestia said firmly. “I meant that some were harmed.” She clarified.

“Oh. Dammit Tia, you can’t do that to me.” Twilight said while leveling the alicorn with an impotent glare.

“Sorry dear, I misspoke.” Celestia told her with a tiny sigh. “Well, I’m off to make sure that Ethan is okay.” She added with a smile before she disappeared with a flash of light.

“But he’s asleep!” Twilight shouted at the empty basement. Millennia old deities could be extremely infuriating, even (or maybe especially) when you were bonded to them as intimately as Twilight was to Celestia.

***

Ethan was sitting on the balcony of Twilight’s house, gazing up at the sky in wonder. From the Wasteland the sky always looked a little off, a little greener than it should’ve, or at least than it had when he’d watched videos of it as a kid growing up in the vault. But here in Equestria there was no fallout, there were no bloodthirsty raiders picking on defenseless towns without fear of retribution. Here the sky was a pure and perfect black, dotted with tiny stars and far off swirls of foreign celestial formations.

A flash of light behind him signaled the arrival of Twilight and Ethan spoke without looking back.

“Hi Sparky, did you come to try and make me go to bed?”

“No, I came to talk.” Celestia said simply as she came to lie down behind the man. “Lay back if you want.” She added.

“Oh, it’s you…” Ethan replied, but did as she suggested and leaned back into the solar alicorn.

“Ethan, I think we’ve gotten off on the wrong hoof.” Celestia began.

“We might have.” The man agreed while he absently began to stroke Celestia’s neck; it wasn’t a real decision on his part, it was just a natural reaction for someone like him.

“Indeed, I wasn’t very nice to you was I?” She asked him while her body arched slightly under the unexpectedly pleasant feeling of his hands running up and down her neck.

“No, then again I’m a bit of an ass so I guess I had it coming.” Ethan said with a sad sigh.

“Is everything alright Ethan?” Celestia asked gently.

“No, no it isn’t.” Ethan said with a frown.

“Tell me about it.” The white alicorn said softly.

“Tell you about what? Tell you about how I can see each and everyone one of their faces STARING AT ME?!” Ethan said angrily. “Tell you about the fact that their deaths were all my fault?!” He continued “Tell you that I got fourteen children killed?!” he was weeping at this point. “Would you like me to name them for you? Well I can do that for you! Biwwy, Bumble, Eclair, Joseph, Nick Nack, Knock Knock, Lucy, MacCready, Penny, Princess, Sammy, Squirrel, Sticky, and Zip!” Ethan said the last name, and then promptly became incomprehensible as his words blurred together under the weight of his grief. Without thinking about it Celestia draped one of her white wings over Ethan and pulled him closer to her body, which began to give off a calming heat.

“I know how hard it is to lose the ones you love, especially when it’s your fault.” Celestia whispered softly as the human’s eyes continued to run with tears.

“I doubt it.” Ethan replied as he blew his nose on her wing. A look of disgust crossed Celestia’s face, but it vanished before Ethan looked up.

“Ethan, how old do you think I am?” Celestia asked.

“Thirtyish.” Ethan replied.

“I’m over five thousand.” Celestia told him.

“You look good, for a horse.” Ethan replied while he brushed a line of tears away from his face with the back of his sleeve.

“Thank you. During my time on this planet I’ve seen many wonderful things; unfortunately I’ve also seen my share of horrors and atrocities.” Celestia told him. “I’ve seen my little ponies made fatherless by war and motherless by plague. I’ve seen colts and fillies slain by wild animals. I’ve even been forced to almost kill my sister. When I say that I know what it means to lose someone I’m telling the truth.” Celestia whispered softly in his ear.

“Have you ever had to watch helplessly while your father dies sacrificing himself for something that he believed in? And then had the same man that your father thought that he killed get back up afterwards leaving you with nothing to do but pursue revenge?” Ethan asked her.

“Not my father, but my first love.” Celestia replied softly.

“Really?” Ethan asked in surprise.

“Indeed, poor Goldenrod.” Celestia said sadly, Ethan couldn’t help himself; he chuckled at the stallion’s name. “Yes, his name was hilarious; I teased him about it all the time.” Celestia agreed with a sad forlorn chuckle.

“What happened to him?” Ethan asked.

“He was killed fighting a sorcerer of great power, the sorcerer killed him… The poor, idiotically brave stallion.” Celestia said with a shake of her head. “If he’d just listened to me and not charged then it wouldn’t have happened.” Celestia sighed. “The memory of that stallion is the only thing keeping me from disowning Blueblood.” She added.

“Wait, Blueblood is your...”

“Twentieth times great grandson.” Celestia filled in.

“Ah, I was wondering why you kept him around.” Ethan said with a sigh before he looked back at the sky.

“What do you think of my sister’s work?” Celestia asked changing topics.

“It’s beautiful, I feel like I could stare at it forever.” Ethan answered.

“She’d be overjoyed to hear you say that.” Celestia with a light chuckle. “Lack of appreciation for her work was a part of what made her go insane.” She added, her smile immediately falling into a frown.

“She went insane?” Ethan asked as his hands explored Celestia’s mane. It felt just like normal horse hair, except for a sense of heat and strength that radiated from within it.

“Yes although it was more that she went mad, insanity is slightly different. The experince was very painful for both of us and I had to seal her on the moon for a thousand years.” Celestia replied with a sad shake of her head.

“I’m sorry.” Ethan offered.

“Thank you, that means a lot.” Celestia said, giving him a small grin.

“You’re welcome.” Ethan replied, then he sighed. “I can still see their faces.”

“I understand, I still see the faces of all of those I’ve killed and those who were close to me who’ve died over the years.” Celestia told him.

“Does it get easier?” Ethan asked, his voice was quiet and small. Almost as if he was a child, which in a certain sense he was.

“No, no it doesn’t.” Celestia told him. “It just gets easier to hide.” She released another wave of heat that covered Ethan in its embrace. “It’ll never go away, and your heart will never heal.” Ethan let out a tiny sob. “But if you hold onto those you love, then the ache will become dull instead of sharp.”

“I, I think I’m going to go to bed.” Ethan said as he leaned on her while he got to his feet.

“Goodnight Ethan.” Celestia told him.

“Goodnight Sunny; and thanks.”

***

Kane wasn’t happy. Now, there were an innumerable amount of reasons why Kane wasn’t happy. For starters was fact that the second that the cat had emerged from his humble adobe in the city the wind had started to ruffle his fur in a very annoying fashion. Secondly, the air was entirely too thin up on the top of Canterlot Mountain, it made it hard to breathe and left him lightheaded. Thirdly there was the fact that he sensed a storm on the horizon, so besides it just being hard to breathe and having his fur tossed to and fro by the wind it was also puffy with static electricity. Lastly was the fact that it was a bit after twelve, which meant that he’d usually be asleep; or at least in bed being entertained at this point. The fact that he was hanging upside down from the underside of one of the guard towers of the Canterlot Palace by his claws and his trusty grappling hook was just exasperating the other problems.

Kane’s furry brow furrowed and his ears twitched in annoyance from beneath his gray cowl. There so many places that he’d rather be at the moment, so many places in fact that he couldn’t even think of one without having the whole heap of them come crashing through his mental barriers. Kane was an assassin. It was his job, his career, his profession, hell it was the way he put food on the table and kept women in the bed. He loved his job, loved the sense of excitement it gave, the thrill of the chase, the look of hopeless acknowledgement as his victims realized that they were doomed.

That being said, he wasn’t happy about this particular assignment. Despite his less than holy career of choice he liked to think of himself as a good cat. Ordinarily his targets were corrupted aristocrats, drug lords, mercenary captains, and other scum. He’d been offered to assassinate Prince Blueblood on multiple occasions, but he’d always decided against it, nothing ruined an assassin’s career faster than the killing of royalty. Now however, he was being forced to break one of if not two of his cardinal rules.

A weeks ago he’d been looking for a job in his normal style, namely sitting in the darkest corner of a bar sipping a beer looking for potential employers. A sweet looking queen (cat word for eligible female of the species) had moseyed up to him and they’d started to talk. She’d bought him a drink and she must’ve drugged, it because the next thing he’d known he’d woken up in a dark room with a magical contract sitting in front of him. His name had been singed in his at the bottom in own blood, and so had started what he liked to call the absolute worst hangover of his life, ever, of all time.

So now here he was, preparing to break into one of the most well-guarded places on the planet, charged with the kidnapping of a prince and possibly the murder of a princess if she was unfortunate enough to be in the room when he entered. Yeah this sucked. The wind picked up, billowing around his cowl annoyingly and Kane decided that he’d spent long enough contemplating his navel. His tail twitched to the right and he suddenly released his hold on the underside of the tower, and fell towards an open window below him.

The light within was off meaning that the kid was hopefully asleep; Kane didn’t even want to think about what would happen if he was awake. Hell, he might get killed by the eighty or so guards that would bumrush him. Either that or one of the two gods living in the castle would show up and blast him to pieces. Actually, they could probably help him if he had a chance to explain himself. Of course that implied making so much noise that it attracted every guard in the palace, and frankly he didn’t have enough faith in his abilities to evade that many weapons long enough for one of them to show up. Especially when you took into consideration the fact that- wait he was still falling!

“Fucking mind control!” Kane swore quietly as he fell towards the courtyard. Two seconds before the light from down below would’ve touched him his grappling hook shot up towards the open window and settled into place with a nearly soundless clink.

The grapple pulled the cat upwards and he landed gracefully on the windowsill. The biggest problem with the magic contract, even greater than the fact that he was bound to it was in the way it influenced him. Whenever he began to get thoughts about releasing himself from the contract, or getting around it’s parameters in any way, or even just sometimes when it felt like fucking with him, the spell would make him go off on random mental tangents that essentially boiled down to him standing somewhere completely slack jawed with a glazed over expression across his face. It also made it extremely difficult to get laid; for some reason the opposite sex wasn’t interested in him whenever his eyes glazed over while they were talking to him.

Kane hissed softly to himself as he realized that he’d just spent the last five minutes poised on the edge of the windowsill, and he stepped quietly into the room without making a single sound. A sad smile appeared on his face, the foal was right where he’d been expecting him to be, and on the bright side Princess Cadence was nowhere to be seen. That was good; he loved love far too much to even think about killing someone who represented the sacred activity. Why, he’d even been in town the day of the wedding. That was probably one of the most exciting, and extremely unexpected, hits that he’d ever undertaken. Changelings in the sky and all over the ground, draining ponies of their emotions and such, he must’ve killed ten or so within the first few minutes, along with the fun surprise that his target was actually a changeling. That kill had been both unexpected and enlightening. Why, he’d even scored that night with this beautiful little qu-

“Dammit!” Kane exclaimed as silently as he could. Shining Star stirred slightly in his cradle, but otherwise didn’t move. “Sorry about this kid.” Kane said as he quickly opened the child’s mouth and began to pour the specially prepared sleeping potion down the foal’s throat. The foals eyes shot open and he was about to yell, but Kane clamped his mouth around the lip of the bottle, making it impossible for him to get any sound out from between his lips. However, the foal’s eyes were wide with terror and as they stared into Kane’s, who forced himself to watch however much it hurt him on the inside.

Once the foal had finished the potion, the fight slowly left his eyes and he slumped down in a deep dreamless slumber. A sickening slimy sensation overwhelmed Kane as he took a finely made pouch off of his back and slid the foal into it before tying the drawstrings sealing it. He’d been told that the pouch was enchanted to create fresh air so that the foal wouldn’t suffocate; Kane had tested it to be sure. One because he didn’t want the foal’s life directly on his paws, two because suffocation was a terrible way to go, and three because- he was still standing there as Princess Cadence entered the room. She took in the scene before her. The empty crib, the cat holding a suspiciously heavy looking bag in one paw, the gray cowl that symbolized his specialty, and let out an angry shout.

“An Assassin killed my son!”

“Shit, sorry, not my fault, damn magic contract, go north, not my fault, please don’t kill me!” Kane shouted as he dashed for the window; he’d be damned if he killed her, magic contract or not. A bolt of pink magical energy threw him forward towards the window as it dissipated off of his enchanted cloak. “He’s still alive, not my fault!” Kane shouted over his shoulder as he vaulted out the window head first, holding his grappling hook in one paw and the pouch containing the foal in the other.

He let out a very manly, though strangely high pitched, cry as the air whipped past his head while he fell. Lamps and torches were exploding into light as he fell towards the courtyard. A trio of draconic Lunar Guard flew down at him from out of the sky; one tried to tackle him out of the air, but Kane’s grappling hook shot out to the right and pulled him along behind it, pulling him away from the pegasi’s grip. The cat flipped to the side in order to avoid another of them.

“Seriously, I’m not doing this by choice here!” he yelled to them, but if the pegasi heard him they didn’t stop to ponder it.

Instead all three rushed him at once and Kane’s grapple retracted, sending him plummeting towards the ground and underneath them simultaneously. Luckily for Kane he landed on the outer palace wall with a roll and was on his feet again within seconds of landing, pouch still in hand. An extremely angry looking unicorn shot a bolt of lightning at Kane, who had to do a front flip off of the wall to avoid being on the receiving end of a very bad case of singed fur. As he fell headfirst off of the palace wall, Kane spent some time thinking about how annoying this whole ordeal was. If he’d been in complete control of his mental capacity he’d have gotten out of the room before Princess Cadence had even had a chance to enter. Hell, he’d probably already have a cute queen curled up against him and getting ready to- and there was the ground rushing towards him again, DAMMIT!

Kane’s grappling hook shot out and snagged the roof of a nearby mansion, pulling him towards it and once again out of danger of becoming a very furry pancake. He thanked Bast for the enchantments on his cowl that kept his neck from snapping from the extreme G-forces that he was subjecting it to, along with keeping his joints intact. He landed on the roof of the noble’s house, and took off at a sprint as an angry group of Lunar Guards gave chase from above.

“Stop where you are!” The leader shouted.

“I’d fucking love to, but I’m kinda trapped in a magic contract that I signed while drugged!” Kane shouted back as he rolled under a draconic pegasi and tumbled off of the noble’s roof, only for his ever faithful grappling hook to save his life yet again by snagging a nearby streetlamp. He was thrown onto the top of the streetlamp, and quickly started running across the rope that led to another nearby lamp. A unicorn sent a freezing blast of cold at him, but Kane simply jumped off of the rope and landed on the ground, completely evading the attack. Now he was in the middle of a panicking crowd of Equestrian citizens.

Although the civilians made it next to impossible for the guards to safely hit him with a spell, they also forced Kane to go in their direction, right towards where a group of guards was waiting expectantly.

“Mental note to self. Don’t ever accept drinks from women, it can only end badly.” Kane muttered to himself before launching away again with the help of his grapple. “Not my fault!” He added as he smashed into an airborne Lunar Guard, knocking the pegasi out of the air. Now that he was airborne once again a nearby unicorn shot a beam of magic at Kane, who just narrowly dodged it, once again avoiding a horrible pain filled death. It was like they didn’t realize the fact that they could kill the kid; wait. They probably didn’t know that the foal was still alive because Cadence probably hadn’t believed him. Shit, he should probably do somet- oh dammit!

A lunar guard member had taken the initiative and constructed a large blue forcefield that completely blocked Kane’s path. Unfortunately, Kane didn’t have time to change directions so he slammed face first into the barrier and fell to the ground, somehow managing to stay on his feet. He was a cat after all, and as such he had an image to uphold. An entire squad of Lunar Guard, complete with black earth ponies, draconic pegasi, and misty unicorns surrounded him.

“You are under arrest for the murder of Prince Shining Star, injuring members of the Lunar Guard, endangering civilians, trespassing, disrupting traffic, smelling bad, and conspiracy to kill Princess Cadence!” The lead guard shouted. “You have the right to remain silent!”

“By Bast this isn’t my fault! Also the prince is alive and in this enchanted pouch. Oh, and I was not trying to kill Princess Cadence, if I wanted her dead she already would be. Oh, and I smell great!” Kane shouted the last word as his paws finally found what he’d been looking for, and he smashed a small black sphere against the ground and disappeared in a cloud of inky blackness.

“What the hell was that?!” Brighteyes shouted as they began to search for the cat.

“I think it was a self-contained teleportation spell sir, although if he had that the whole time then the questions is; why didn’t he use it the second that he needed to escape?” Specialist Dawnbreaker asked him.

“It’s because of the wards around the palace.” Luna said unexpectedly as she appeared among them. The guards hopped to a salute, but Luna waved them down with a single twitch of her wing. Luna went up to the spot that the cat had vanished from, and began to scan the area intensely with her magic. “I can track him, follow me.”

Why does everything like this have to happen when Tia is somewhere else? Luna asked internally before shaking her head. Thinking those kinds of thoughts wouldn’t help her follow the cat, which was going to be tricky enough as it was.

***

Kane let out a sigh of relief as the smoke cleared and he found himself in the extraction point. The black queen stepped out of the shadows and smiled seductively at him.

“Now was that so hard?” She purred.

“Well let’s see. I’m forced to do something that I hate, I almost do something else that I hate, I get chased around the city by the guard, and now you’re going to leave me here to be picked up and possibly killed by the entirety of the Lunar Guard, who are surely going toing to kill me without even letting me get a word in edgewise, oh and I never even got to have sex with you first so as far as I’m concerned this whole experience has been a total bust.” Kane said as he handed the black queen the pouch containing Prince Shining Star. She took the pouch with a seductive chuckle before she placed a single kiss upon his cheek and stepped back into the darkness where she disappeared.

Kane sat down with a heavy sigh and leaned his back against a nearby tree. He began to clean his claws, seeing nothing else to do before the Lunar Guard showed up. He wanted to make a handsome corpse after all. Not that he thought anyone would see it, he’d probably be chucked into a shallow grave somewhere in the middle of the Everfree, where his bones would be eaten by a manticore or a timberwolf. Or maybe if he was lucky a dragon would come along and use his bones to add an exotic flare to his cave.

Well at least this clearing in the woods was a nice place to die. It had some great trees everywhere, and the moon looked so nice to his night vision enabled eyes. He sighed again as the wind blew through his fur, he was never going to be able to keep it nice and orderly the way he wanted, so why bother. A wet leaf hit him in the face and the cat let out a hiss. He pulled the leaf off of his eyes and found himself face to face with Princess Luna herself.

She looked pissed as all hell, and her horn was glowing with swirling dark blue magic, which distracted Kane as he followed its flight path around her horn. The Princess raised an eyebrow as the cat’s head moved around in a circle, his eyes obviously tracking the light spell that she’d cast.

“Where is Prince Shining Star?” Luna asked after quickly growing tired of watching the brown furred tabby tom.

“He’s with that bitch of a queen, who is now probably hundreds of miles away at this point, if not more. Sorry that I can’t be of more help than that, but at the moment I really can’t shut up, and it isn’t my fault. I never wanted this to happen, I didn’t even want this job. Fuck, I’m not even getting paid for this, not that I’dve taken it in the first place if it had been offered. But seriously, why would I want to kidnap one of the royal family? I mean that’s just stupid, the only one that I’d even considering killing would be Blueblood, and honestly that prick isn’t worth the time or the effort that it’d take an-” Kane would’ve kept talking but he suddenly found his mouth magically shut by Luna, who was looking extremely exasperated. Her mouth worked slowly and her eyes shone with moonlight. ‘She looks beautiful’ Kane thought to himself, almost enough to convince him to be a bit more adventuress with his carnal conquests. After all if you couldn’t bed a queen you might as well bed a princess, right?

“What do you mean you didn’t want this job?” Luna asked before releasing her grip on his mouth.

“Well you see, it all started a week ago in a shady tavern. I was looking for work, and then this sexy as all hell pitch black queen shows up, queen is the cat word for female by the way. So anyways, she walked up to me showing off her rather nice assets, she bought me a drink, we talked, and the next morning I awoke in some dark, cold room. My fur’s warm mind you, but hell, I almost froze my balls off in there. Oh, and did I mention the magical contract that I’d apparently signed using my own blood? Yeah, the one that said that I had to do what the queen told me to? Well, that’s why I kidnapped your prince. Sorry about that really, it wasn’t my fault. Well not really anyways, but I feel awful about it none the less and- oh please Bast don’t kill me! I’m too damned handsome to die!”

“And this contract is the thing compelling you to talk so much as well?” Luna asked.

“Yep, it’s supposed to make me easier for the queen and whoever the hell her employer is to control. Honestly, it doesn’t make much sense if you ask me. I mean, this could only hamper me when I’m doing their damned dirty work, it’s so bad that I can’t even think straight without going off on a mental tangent and accomplishing next to nothing.” Kane told Luna with a shrug. “Oh, and would you hurry up and kill me? I finally got the dirt out from underneath my claws and I want to leave a nice corpse for the family. Well, my brothers at any rate, not that I talk to them much anymore but we’re still close enough to care about each other and –” His jaw was suddenly shut once again by magic.

“If what you say is true than I can neither kill you nor press charges. However, you will be taken in for questioning.” Luna explained. “Oh, and you have to wear these.” She added as she floated a pair of hoofcuffs out of a pouch on her hips and slid the cat’s paws into them.

“You do realize that these things are really easy to break out of, right? I mean I could do it in a few seconds if I wanted to, especially this design, it’s ancient.” The cat babbled as Luna began to charge her teleportation spell. “Just look at this thing! The lock is right here, I can pick it with my claw just like thi-” His words were interrupted by an extremely loud shout of pain as the cat pulled his claw out of the key hole. “Fuck me sideways it’s got a Bast damned spell matix in it. They haven’t made them like this since before… oh right, you’re Luna. Damn I’m stupid sometimes, like the way I got here in the first place…” Luna sighed and teleported them back to the castle, it was going to be a long, long night.

Chapter 12

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Edited by TacoTown

Chapter twelve

Big Mac sat in one of the comfy padded chairs inside of the hospital waiting room; the clock on the wall read twelve thirty. To the average pony, Big Mac would’ve appeared to be calm and stoic as always. But if you happened to be his sister Applejack, or his grandmother Granny Smith than you would’ve seen the desperation and nervousness that he wore about himself like a cloak. Nurse Redheart emerged from a set of double doors, along with a tall unicorn stallion with a brown coat and a matching mane.

“How is she?” Mac asked slowly while he attempted to control his voice.

“She’s suffered severe lacerations from the whips and she’s lost a lot of blood.” The stallion replied in a rich voice.

“Luckily, she’s going to be fine.” Nurse Redheart cut in before the stallion’s words could take effect. The stallion rolled his eyes.

“You can never let me have that, can you?” He asked her.

“Of course not.” She replied with a matching roll of her eyes before she turned back to Big Mac. “She’ll need to stay here for a few days to make sure that she stays stable, and then she’ll need to stay in bed for a week minimum to make sure that her scars don’t open back up.” She told Big Mac.

“Thank ya Redheart.” Big Mac said with a nod. Then he turned to the Doctor.

“Can ah see her now Doctor Cottage?”

“No, I’m going to keep a brother away from his injured sister out of sheer spite.” Cottage replied with a shake of his head. “Of course you can you inbred idiot, room four.” The Doctor said before turning away from the stallion and walking away with the slightest limp.

Now if anypony else had ever spoken to Big Mac like that then they’d have been on the receiving end of a very stern glare, at the very least. But everyone in Ponyville knew that Doctor Cottage was a special case. He was brilliant at what he did, but he was an absolute ass about everything else that didn’t pertain to medicine. Besides, he was a softy deep down, a fact that he would vehemently deny, but always became apparent eventually if you spent enough time around the stallion.

Big Mac made his way to his sister’s room and pushed the door open. Apple Bloom was lying in the bed, resting on her stomach; her eyes were closed tightly and every few seconds she’d twitch restlessly. Her back was covered by an entire layer of bandages, some of which were faintly red.

“We have to change those bandages every two hours.” Redheart told Big Mac as she stood next him; the stallion didn’t even hear her. Instead, he simply walked over to the chair next to Apple Bloom’s head and sat down. He’d spend all night beside her, serving a silent vigil for his hurt sister.

***

Celestia and Twilight were just about to begin a very intimate study session when suddenly in a scroll appeared out of thin air, wrapped in her sister’s distinctive dark blue magic. Celestia sighed as did Twilight; it would seem that they would have to hold off on their applied physics lesson for the moment. Celestia picked up the scroll in her golden magic and quickly read it. As she read, her eyes got wider and wider until she finished it and let an extremely angry cry.

“NO!” She shouted, utilizing the Royal Canterlot Voice.

Twilight’s eyes widened in surprise as her ordinarily calm princess, mentor, and lover became livid with anger. The sound of running feet and of her basement door being kicked open heralded Ethan’s imminent arrival. The man burst into the room, glowing blue knife in one hand and golden glowing pistol in the other, fully prepared to kill absolutely anything. Instead, all he found was a fuming Celestia and an extremely confused Twilight. The man quickly sheathed the knife and easily slipped the pistol back into his hip holster before walking up to Twilight.

“I take it something’s wrong?” Ethan asked. Despite the seemingly lighthearted manner of asking, Ethan’s voice wasn’t happy. Twilight could tell that even though Celestia’s pep talk had improved his mood, there was still a lot of work left to do before Ethan could return to his ordinarily happy exterior.

“Yes, and she hasn’t told me what’s wrong.” Twilight replied, putting an extra amount of emphasis on the last part of the sentence.

“Someone has kidnapped Shining Star.” Celestia said flatly as she regained control of her anger.

“What?! When? Where? How?” Twilight shouted, her eyes going wide.

“Shining Star was kidnapped, a half hour ago, in Canterlot, via a cat assassin.” Celestia said angrily while answering each of Twilight’s questions.

“Did they happen to capture this assassin?” Ethan asked in a tone of voice that sent shivers up both Twilight and Celestia’s spines as he slowly drew his knife and began to tap it with the tip of his thumb.

“Yes. Unfortunately, he’s innocent of any crime; in this case at least, other than being an idiot who forgot that beautiful women don’t buy you drinks unless they’re trying to take advantage of you in some way.” Celestia replied.

“Mind control?” Ethan asked, startling both Twilight and Celestia. An odd look had come over the man’s face.

“Yes, how did you know?” Celestia asked, but Ethan only shrugged and said.

“Experience, you don’t want to know.” Ethan said while an extremely disturbed look crossed his face. He quickly put away the knife and shivered once more before turning back to the conversation.

“Okay… So Tia, are we all going back to Canterlot?” Twilight asked, her voice was slightly uncertain. It was filled with a mixture of fear and extreme anger at the abduction of the young prince.

“I have to go back tonight; but I’ll send a sky carriage for you tomorrow.” Celestia told her.

“You’re not bringing us?” Ethan asked with a raised eyebrow, his voice was suddenly cold again.

“It’s nothing against you Ethan, it’s simply a matter of practicality. The magical cost of teleportation increases when you multiply mass and distance. I can move myself and Twilight, but you’re just too big.” Celestia explained carefully.

“Aren’t you a god?” Ethan asked as his eyes narrowed.

“Yes, but I still have to respect the laws that bind the universe.” Celestia replied.

“Magic…” Ethan said with a tired shake of his head. He shut his eyes for a few seconds and let out a long breath.

“The carriage will arrive here at noon, so you have until then to take in the sights around Ponyville; I think you’ll like them.” Celestia told Ethan with a benevolent smile.

“Celestia, with all due respect your prince was just kidnapped by a mind controlled minion. The last thing that either of us should be doing is taking time to ‘see the sights’.” Ethan replied flatly. Celestia let out a long sigh.

“Ethan, you spent all of yesterday killing. You need to rest.” Celestia told him.

“I’ve spent almost every day of the last seven or so years killing, Celestia, I hardly doubt that one more will kill me.” Ethan snapped.

“And I’m saying that you’re staying here for half the day.” Celestia said. The finality in her voice brokered no argument. Ethan glowered at her for a few seconds before looking away.

“Fine, I’m too tired for this.” Ethan said with a shake of his head. “If the prince dies because no one was there to save him, it’s on your head.” He added.

“It is either way.” Celestia replied levelly, her face solemn.

“You’re right, I suppose it is.” Ethan said before he turned on his heel and left the basement. Twilight’s head swiveled between the place where he’d been standing and Celestia in confusion.

“What just happened Tia?” Twilight asked.

“Don’t worry about it Twilight.” Celestia said before she gave the unicorn a kiss on the cheek. “Like I said, I have to go now. I’ll send you a carriage tomorrow.” She added.

“I love you Tia.” Twilight said.

“I know you do Twilight.” Celestia replied before she vanished in a flash of gold.

***

Celestia flashed into existence in her bedroom, where Luna was waiting patiently on her bed.

“You really shouldn’t do that; ponies will get the wrong idea.” Celestia told her sister, who chuckled.

“Tia, I could have both you and Twilight Sparkle at the same time if I wanted, I just don’t.” She said with a grin.

“Do we have any leads?” Celestia asked, getting right to the point. Luna’s smile died and she shook her head.

“We have a prisoner who CAN’T stop talking.” Luna replied flatly while she closed her eyes in frustration.

“Can’t, or won’t?” Celestia asked.

“A little of both.” Luna replied.

“I see, show him to me.” Celestia commanded. She didn’t command her sister much, but after the conversation with Ethan she was rather frustrated.

She’d been so close to bringing him out of his funk, yet he was still suffering and it showed. Celestia sighed internally. It would take more than one conversation to rid the man of his demons, but Celestia knew that it would happen eventually.

“So what do we know about him?” Celestia asked her sister.

“His name is Kane and he’s from one of the younger street families who roam the docks around Hoofington. From what I got out of him he’s been an assassin, and apparently a very good lover for most of his life. He’s the one behind the assassinations of at least four dozen nobles, most of whom were extremely corrupt.” Luna said shaking her head. “He also killed several griffin generals known for their brutality and several hippogriff leaders who we know nothing about.”

“So he’s dangerous then.” Celestia said.

“He escaped my special hoofcuffs in less than fifty seconds.” Luna said flatly.

“The ones with the spell matrix?” Celestia asked.

“Yes, but I’ve got him strung up like a turkey prepped for a griffin at the moment.” Luna replied confidently with a smile.

“Well that’s good to hear.” Celestia told her with a grin.

***

Kane was annoyed again. He’d spent the first few minutes after the Princess had left him surveying the room. It was honestly a pretty nice place to hold a prisoner; well, minus the bars on the window, but Kane knew from experience that those wouldn’t be too hard to either remove or break. The nice carpeted floor looked rather comfy, as did the bed, chair, and couch that were spread around the room. His grey cowl had been thrown back to reveal his pointy ears, which were busy searching for even the slightest sound of approaching ponies. His light brownish gray fur was still far too messy for his tastes, but there was nothing that he could really do about that at the moment seeing that he was hanging from one of the wooden beams that crossed the ceiling via his claws. And now he was bored out of his mind.

The chains that had bound him lay discarded on the floor in a small pile. Getting out of them had taken him around five minutes, and a few burnt hairs, but in the end the spells weren’t that difficult to disarm. After all, every spell had a way to be disarmed manually, on the off chance that the caster was killed or otherwise incapacitated, it was just a matter of figuring out where that way was and how to crack it. It also helped that he’d been involved with this one queen who had really enjoyed using chains, something about wanting to build trust. Or maybe she just liked to watch Kane figure a way out of them, the cat had never been all that sure. Whatever the case he’d enjoyed it and it had given him lots of practice, so it was a win-win really.

He was on the ceiling because… well it was more interesting up there then on the boring carpet. Besides, he’d like to see the princess’s face when she walked in to question him, only to find him out of his chains and apparently missing. His tail swished back and forth in anticipation as he heard the distinct sound of Luna’s voice; it really was a nice voice. It was the kind of voice that you sometimes confuse for the sound of wind rustling through the trees at midnight. Then again, it could be the kind of voice that reminds you of the sound of ships dipping in and out of the water under a full moon while you sit on top of a nearby tower with your brother and talk about the queens that you’d conquered during the day.

Oh, memories of home. Sometimes Kane wished that he’d never left. Then he would remember the bad food, near constant sense of fear of being caught, and worst of all the atrocious lack of any attractive queens who were free. Hoofington… what a shithole. It was the kind of place that just inspired hatred from all but the richest of people, and even they wished that they could live somewhere else. Honestly though, if there was one thing about that Bast damned city that he missed it was his brothers, all five of them had decided to stay there and make an honest living off of pickpocketing. Only his sister had been smart enough to get out of the city like Kane had. The last letter from her he’d gotten said that she’d gotten into the Royal Canterlot Music Academy; he’d gotten that letter four years ago…

He was snapped out of his mental wanderings by the impatient clearing of a throat. Kane looked down from the ceiling, and to his surprise found that there were two alicorns waiting below him, both of whom were raising an eyebrows at him. Princess Celestia’s radiant rainbow mane flowed around her neck, distracting Kane who tried to follow each individual color.

“Why are you on the ceiling?” Luna asked, breaking Kane out of his trancelike state. “And furthermore, how did you get out of my chains?” She added.

“Well I was bored. So I got out of the chains with a combination of trial and error, along with some well used knowledge from this time a queen I was fucking had a thing for bondage. She was great in bed. Honestly, she was one of my favorite queens, if only she hadn’t left me for some rich tom. He was a stuck up prick too, I’m so glad that I killed him when someone offered me the contract.” Kane replied from his place on the ceiling. Luna couldn’t decide whether or not to sigh or shake her head. Instead, she just raised her eyebrow again.

“I am Princess Celestia.” Celestia said regally. Kane didn’t see why she was bothering to say that. Everyone on the continent knew who she was. How many other snow white alicorns with horns long enough to be used as spears lived in Equestria?

“Really? I was thinking that you were some other white alicorn with a distracting mane and a sun on her ass; then again I did meet a white unicorn with a sun for her cutie mark a while ago. Great at her job to, I’ve never seen someone as good at picking locks while dodging arrows. I think her name was Peppermint…” Kane replied. He was still on the ceiling.

It was one thirty in the morning, and after an evening like Celestia had been having since she’d received her sister’s message it was understandable that she would have a short temper. Without warning she yanked the assassin off of the beam, causing him to let out a startled hiss as his claws pointlessly scratched at the air, instinctually trying to regain their hold on the wood. Celestia brought the cat to float in front of her before setting him down on the ground.

Kane rose to his hind legs and found that his head was at Celestia’s chest level now that he was no longer on the ceiling. He busily patted down his now stiff fur with the air of someone extremely offended. Celestia didn’t particularly care at the moment.

“I am Princess Celestia, Ruler of Equestria! You are an assassin who has claimed the lives of dozens of nobles throughout both Equestria and several other foreign nations! Give me one reason why I shouldn’t turn you over to the griffins and hippogriffs, or better yet your exes.” She said while her eyes smoldered with anger.

Kane blanched. There were dozens of members of either species that he’d wronged in some form or other, many of whom wanted to repay the death of a family member… more concerning however were the queens who he’d slept with and then mysteriously disappeared on before the sun had even begun to rise. After all, Tartarus hath no fury like a queen scorned. Kane thought fast and then smiled as his brain struck upon a fact that would help him get out of this without being turned into dinner, or being castrated that was probably the worst option all things considered…

“I’ve thought of two reasons why you shouldn’t kill me. First off I only killed bastards, and by bastards I don’t mean the sexual kind. Although I do recall killing a few of those, but they were the other kind of bastard too now that I think about it… Anyways the other and more important reason is the fact that I didn’t kill Princess Cadence when I was presented with the opportunity, so you kind of owe me for that.” He finished with a smile. Celestia’s face darkened, an incredible feat for a goddess of the sun, and she turned to look at Luna.

“Is what he says true?” Celestia asked. She sounded troubled. The idea that her niece had been so close to death while she had been otherwise occupied seemed to shake her. Kane watched with inquisitive eyes, this didn’t fit his mental picture of the sun goddess. But then again, he was a dockcat turned assassin, what would he know about gods?

“Possibly. Cadence did confront him while he was in the process of absconding with the Prince. According to what she says he did pause before bolting towards the window.” Luna replied thoughtfully. Celestia’s brow creased as she thought about it.

“I see…Well then in light of this I pardon you for your rudeness. However, there is still the large matter of the citizens that you’ve killed.” Celestia told the cat who nodded stiffly. He hadn’t really expected to get off that easily, hell after what he’d said almost anyone would want to kill him. That was one of the main downsides to his little condition, he couldn’t watch his mouth like he always used to. He’d always been snarky, but now he lacked the ability to stop talking once he’d said something extremely agitating. The other was his inability to pay attention while…

“Sister, I believe that I have a solution.” Luna said, apparently they’d been talking while Kane was distracted and the darker alicorn appeared to have had some kind of idea. With an extreme effort of will Kane began to pay attention to the conversation again.

“What is it Luna?” Celestia asked.

“The Lunar Guard is looser about who we recruit for duty than the Sun Guard. Why doesn’t he work for me as a special consultant for the Lunar Guard, at the very least until we can rescue the Prince?” Luna suggested.

“You’re suggesting that we make up for the murder of several nobles through community service?” Celestia asked flatly. Luna nodded with a small smile.

“Serve as a guard? Well I’ve never considered it before. At the very least it’ll be interesting, although I imagine that many of them won’t be very happy to see me. On the other paw if it keeps me out of the hangman’s gambit I don’t really give a damn.” Kane said as he scratched his chin with a claw.

“That’s settled then, right Tia?” Luna asked.

“Fine, he’s your problem now Luna.” Celestia said before she shook her head tiredly. “I’m going to bed.” Celestia added before she walked out of the room.

“So what now? I mean, I’m not opposed to joining your guard, for a short time anyways, but what do I do now? It’s not like I can just stroll into the guard barracks and say that I’m a new recruit right?” That would be way too easy.” Kane asked as he pulled one of his concealed daggers off of his belt and began to tap its point with one of his claws.

“You’re right, I still have to question you on a few more things, and figure out a way to introduce you to the rest of the guard, along with finding a way to break you out of that contract. Oh and where the hell did you get that dagger?” Luna asked.

“Oh this? It’s a little gift from my father, I told him that I was going into assassination and he sat me down bought me a beer, and then told me the way the world worked. Then he took me to a weapon’s shop and bought me this little beauty, at first I wanted this wicked pair of wrist blades, but he told me that those things never work and break all the time. So instead he got me this. It’s not very pretty, but it’s solid and dependable.” Kane replied with a smile as he tossed the blade into the air and then deftly caught it by the hilt on the palm of his paw.

“That’s not what I meant…”

***

Ethan woke up and looked around the room that Twilight had provided him groggily. Images of MacCready’s splattered head stared back at him, but Ethan closed his eyes and shook his head. What had happened to the Lamplighters was over and nothing that he did was going to stop it or even correct it. It was time to move on. Of course, it’s easy to think something like that and a completely different matter entirely too actually do it. Ethan pulled on his armor and as he made his way to the door he noticed that a note was taped to it. Ethan reached out and grabbed the note before bringing it up to his face to read.

‘Ethan, I’ve gone to the market to pick up some supplies and restock the kitchen. If you need anything, ask Spike.’

‘Twilight’

Well, that meant that Ethan was making his own breakfast, not that he minded. If there was one noncombat skill that he’d perfected over the years, it was his cooking ability. Ethan walked down the stairs and entered the main room of the library, a smile played across his face as he saw it in the daytime. The room just screamed Twilight Sparkle; from the extremely organized bookshelves to the cheery overhead light, everything in it reminded him of what the purple unicorn had been like when she’d first arrived in the Wasteland. Minus the extreme terror and near mental breakdown of course…

Ethan’s head suddenly cocked to the side as he heard voices coming from around the back of the library, they didn’t sound very friendly. Ethan pushed through the front door, ignoring the ponies who stopped what they were doing to stare at him. Apparently they weren’t as used to strange creatures running around town as they were in Canterlot. The voices were a lot more muffled out in front of the library then they were on the inside, which explained why none of the ponies had noticed them.

Ethan walked all the way around the library and came saw something that filled him with anger. Three scaly forms about half his height stood with their backs to him; Spike lay sprawled on the ground in front of them, barely visible from between the other dragons’ legs.

“So Spiky Wikey, what’re you gonna do now that you’re little unicorn friend isn’t here to defend you? Are you going to fight us yourself? Go on, I’ll even give you the first hit.” The red dragon and the apparent leader of the group told Spike, who lay on the ground bruised and bleeding slightly from a scratch above his right eye.

“I’m not a unicorn, and I’m not all that little, but I’ll take that offer if you don’t mind.” Ethan suggested menacingly.

He’d stealthily snuck up behind the dragons, who now jumped in surprise at the unexpected and deadly sounding voice. All three turned slowly to look at the man behind them, who was holding a very long, blue bladed knife in his right hand. To the lead dragon’s credit he didn’t void his bowels at the mere sight of the man.

“Ha, what are you? Some kinda monkey?” Garble, the red dragon, asked.

“I’m the Lone Wanderer, and you’re hurting my friend.” Ethan explained calmly, although his eyes had cooled over and now looked more like frozen orbs of anger rather than their normally warm exterior.

“Do you think I care?” The dragon asked with a shrug. Before he could react Ethan’s right arm slashed out and the blue bladed bowie knife sliced into the dragon’s chest, slipping out easily and leaving a thin trail of blood behind. It wasn’t a deep cut, but it still made the dragon cry out in pain and stumble backwards.

“No, I think you’re going to listen to me. I never see you or your friends here again. If I do I will skin you and sew your scales into my duster. Are we understood?” Ethan asked the dragon.

“Fuck you, I’m telling my dad about this. Then you’ll be sorry!” The dragon shouted. Ethan then did something so completely natural to him that the dragon didn’t even notice it until it was too late. Ethan’s leg snapped out like a whip, catching the dragon full in the chest and sending him flying several feet backwards, where he landed with a thunk as his head hit the wall of a nearby building.

“Tell your dad if you want, and tell him that I’ll be waiting for him too.” Ethan replied with a grim smile.

The dragon quickly scampered to his feet and began to run off, while his two friends followed. In one gesture, Ethan’s pistol appeared in his hand. He took a second to line up the shot, and then fired once into rearmost dragon’s leg. The bullet smashed through the scales and snapped the bone beneath, sending the dragon crashing to the ground easily in sight of the ponies shopping at the market. Blood began to seep out of the wound as the other two dragons grabbed their injured companion and began to run towards the eaves of the forest. Ethan frowned for a second before firing one last shot that tore through the last dragon’s left arm, causing it to let out a pained cry.

“That’s something to remember me by.” Ethan called out before he knelt down and helped Spike unsteadily to his feet. “You okay?” He asked the young dragon.

“Oww, that hurt.” Spike groaned as he rubbed at his face, smearing his blood over his purple scales.

“Stop that.” Ethan said as he batted the dragon’s clawed hand away from the cut. “Here, hold still.” Ethan told the dragon as he pulled out a medical sealing agent and quickly closed Spike’s cut with it.

“What was that?” Spike asked in wonder as the pain from the cut disappeared.

“It’s a little thing I whipped together after a run in with some aliens. It was originally just a healing extract but thanks to Arcade, friend of my wife, we managed to make it a lot more potent.” Ethan replied.

“Cool!” Spike said enthusiastically with a grin.

“Very.” Ethan agreed with a grin, it was good to see the kid so enthusiastic. He turned around to see Twilight Sparkle running towards them, a bag of groceries stacked comically upon her back.

“I leave for five minutes and you’re already shooting dragons.” Twilight said. Her voice resigned, while a slightly annoyed undertone could be heard if you listened hard enough.

“What can I say Sparky, I’m a very violent person.” Ethan said with a chuckle as he patted her on the head.

“You’re feeling better.” Twilight said, taking note of Ethan’s joviality.

“A little. I’ve got to say, your fuckbuddy sure knows how to make someone think about things.” Ethan replied with a grin.

“Ethan, please stop addressing Tia as my fuckbuddy. And I don’t give a damn if it’s the proper term.” Twilight told him. Ethan was about to fire off a witty retort when their conversation was interrupted as a crowd of ponies came towards them, led by the mayor.

“Would you like to tell me what just happened?” She asked severally.

“I defended Twilight’s adopted brother here from a bunch of scaly assholes.” Ethan replied without missing a beat.

“I can see that. Perhaps I should have been clearer, I meant what gave you the rights to shoot them with your device there?” The mayor asked.

“Them hurting my friend.” Ethan replied easily. The mayor let out a frustrated noise before she turned to Twilight.

“Please keep him from killing anypony.” The mayor said before shaking her head and walking away, a large portion of the crowd followed except for two ponies. One was a mint green unicorn, and the other was an earth pony who looked vaguely annoyed to be there.

“Yes…?” Ethan asked the green one, whose face was stretched into a wide, wide grin.

“Oh my gosh, are you a human? Please PLEASE tell me that you’re a human!” The unicorn said gleefully.

“She’d like to know if you’re a mythical creature.” The earth pony deadpanned.

“Well I was a human last time a checked. Of course, that could’ve changed by now.” Ethan replied, giving the green unicorn a snarky smile.

“YES! Sweet vindication at last!” The unicorn said as she excitedly pumped her hoof skyward. “Who’s best pony? Lyra’s best pony! Who’s not a crazy wacko? I’m not a crazy wacko! Suck it Canterlot Museum of Archeology!” She shouted happily.

“She’s happy.” The earth pony informed them with a slight shake of her head. Lyra suddenly blushed a deep crimson.

“You think I’m a crazy wacko now, don’t you?” She asked Ethan, who only chuckled and shook his head.

“Nope. I’ve met, and killed, a lot of crazy wackos in my time. You’re not one of them.” Ethan told her with an earnest smile. The earth pony’s face suddenly paled.

“Well it was nice meeting, let’s go Lyra.” The other pony said as she put a hoof on the unicorn’s shoulder and tried valiantly to drag Lyra away.

“But Bon-Bon, he’s a human! I have to talk to him!” Lyra said, resisting her friend’s attempt to get her away from Ethan.

“Lyra, he just talked about killing people the same way you talk about exploring dangerous ruins in the middle of Everfree!” Bon-Bon whispered anxiously. Ethan, for his part, was interested to see who would win this contest of wills to interrupt, and Twilight was too busy fussing over Spike to notice.

“But Bons it’s my dream! Besides, he doesn’t look so bad!” Lyra replied, not even bothering to whisper.

“Not so bad? He’s wearing chainmail!” Bon-Bon retorted, also dropping the whisper.

“Yeah, but he was defending Spike! That’s gotta be worth something!” Lyra argued back. Bon-Bon groaned.

“Fine. You can talk to him, but if he starts looking dangerous I’m kicking him in the balls.” Bon-Bon said. “You hear that?” She asked, turning to Ethan.

“I think my testicles just retreated inside my body out of pure fear.” Ethan told her with a chuckle. Lyra chuckled too before leaning over to give the Bon-Bon a kiss on the cheek.

“Thanks Bons.” She said with a smile before turning back to Ethan with a notepad and pen that suddenly appeared floating next to her. “So what are humans like, how big are your cities, where are you from, what’s your name, oh, and would you mind me taking a picture of you?” She asked rapidly.

“It depends on the human, we’re a very varied bunch. The largest in California is close to a few hundred thousand I think; don’t quote me on that though because I’ve never been there. The Capital Wasteland, located in what’s left of what used to be Washington D.C. Ethan Smith, aka the Lone Wanderer, aka That Crazy Son of a Bitch. And of course you can take a picture with me.” Ethan replied with a grin. Lyra’s pen moved a mile a minute in order to keep up with Ethan’s words, and she let out an elated squee at his last answer.

“Bons, do you want to be in the picture?” Lyra asked the other pony eagerly.

“No Lyra, I don’t want to be in the picture with you and the giant killing machine.” Bon-Bon said flatly.

“But Bons!” Lyra whined. Bon-Bon closed her eyes and let out a long breath before responding.

“Fine, but you have to help me bake later.” She said flatly.

“I’ll always help you with the oven; you don’t even need to ask.” Lyra replied with a smirk. Bon-Bon rolled her eyes, but came to stand next to Ethan with Lyra. A camera appeared, floating in a glowing nebula of magic. “Say humans!” Lyra said excitedly.

Everyone smiled and the camera flashed once. Lyra took at least four more pictures of them together, and even asked Ethan to remove his coat and pants so that she could take some more technical shots. Ethan complied with a slight smirk on his face. Bon-Bon, for her part, varied between looking annoyed and shooting Ethan pitying looks as Lyra thought of even more technical positions to make him pose in. The man was eventually rescued by Twilight.

“Lyra, I think you’ve gotten enough pictures to prove the museum wrong, and if you need further proof I’ll support you. So would you mind letting Ethan eat something?” Twilight asked.

“Oh, yeah, umm… of course. I’m so sorry, it’s just that seeing a human and umm… yeah…” She finished embarrassedly with a slight blush.

“Don’t mention it, no harm done.” Ethan replied with a shrug. “Alright Sparky, let’s have breakfast. I’m hungry enough to eat a horse-” Ethan began before his brain caught up with his stomach. “-shoe.” He finished with a smile.

“Alright, well thanks for this. You’ve just made my life’s work a lot easier!” Lyra told him with a happy smile as Ethan put his clothing back on.

“Like I said, anytime. you really cheered me up.” Ethan replied as he headed back towards the library with Twilight. As he closed the door behind him he heard Lyra say.

“I’m so happy…”

Twilight was already beginning to make breakfast with Spike’s help.

“So Ethan, Spike tells me that you rescued him from those dragons.” Twilight said as she deftly began to crack eggs with her magic.

“Yeah, stupid idiot said something about his sicing his father on me. I stabbed him in the chest and shot his buddies, so I think I proved my point.” Ethan replied with a grin as he entered the kitchen and began to help with the preparations.

“Ethan, I swear to Faust if a dragon shows up to challenge you to battle to the death I’m going to ki-” Twilight began, but was interrupted by a monstrous voice from outside.

“Lone Wanderer I am here to challenge you to a battle to the death! If you do not show up alone at my cave atop the mountain to the west by sundown, then I shall burn this village to the ground eat every pony in it!” the voice roared. Ethan went to one of the nearby windows and looked outside. Hovering in the air was a dragon so large that it dwarfed half of the town. It was red, scaly, and extremely pissed off.

“I bet this wouldn’t have happened if you hadn’t said that Sparky.” Ethan said before he opened the window. “Bring it on you scaly motherfucker, your father was a sea serpent and your mother was a wyvern!”

“I shall decorate my cave with your bones!” The dragon roared back as it unleashed a blast of flames upwards.

“And I’ll make a purse out of your scaly ass and use your head as a toilet!” Ethan retorted before Twilight grabbed him with her magic.

“Ethan, stop antagonizing the giant fucking dragon!”

“But Sparky!” Ethan began.

“You can mouth off to it as much as you want once it leaves the town full of innocent ponies!” Twilight told him harshly; l Ethan blanched and nodded slowly. “He’ll be there, now please go away!” Twilight shouted out the window.

“Fine, I will rend the flesh from his bones!” The dragon roared back before flying away.

Twilight turned to confront Ethan.

“Please tell me that you brought your power armor.” She begged.

“Do I look like I have power armor capable of folding up into a briefcase?” Ethan asked her.

“Do you have any heavy weapons?” Twilight asked.

“Well, I have my gauss rifle if that counts.” Ethan replied with a smile as he went over to his bag and began to unpack the bulky rifle.

“We’re doomed.”

Chapter 13

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Edited by TacoTown

Chapter 13

Ethan and Twilight walked side by side up the steep path towards the large cave.

“So Sparky, do you think that he’s going to be pissed that I brought you along?” Ethan asked.

“If he is, I’ll explain that I’m here to make sure that this is a nice, fair duel. Try not to kill him please.” She replied.

“But I’ve always wanted a dragon scale duster.” Ethan complained.

“Yes, but dragons are technically endangered.” Twilight countered.

“Fine. If I can I’ll make him surrender.” Ethan said with a shrug.

“Oh, and that goes for you too. Don’t die.” Twilight added.

“Sparky, it’ll take a lot more than an overgrown reptile to kill me.” Ethan told her with a chuckle.

“Ethan, that overgrown reptile is at least, and I’m guestimating here so it’s probably not exact, seventy five tons!” Twilight told him. “That can fly and breathe fire!” She added.

“You worry too much. Hey look, that must be his cave!” Ethan told her, pointing at a large cave carved into the mountain by a larger set of claws.

The cave mouth had been sanded down over the years by the endless passes of a large, scaled bulk. Much to Ethan’s disappointment, there were no skeletons decorating the outside.

“Hey, get your scaly ass out here and fight me you overgrown salamander!” Ethan shouted at the cave mouth.

The response was immediate and rather surprising. Instead of a viscous red scaled head, a large black scaled face that appeared to have flesh-like whiskers growing out of its cheeks, along with a fringe of some kind came into view. The head was twice as big as Ethan’s body, inquisitive blue eyes the size of dinner plates regarded Ethan for a moment and a mouth full of sharp teeth opened. What came next was even more unexpected.

“I’ll certainly fight you if you’d like. However, I doubt that it would last long, you are rather small.” The dragon told him. Adding to Ethan’s growing bewilderment, the dragon spoke in an English accent.

“Umm…” Ethan began but then trailed off; for once in his life he had no idea what to say.

“You did want to fight me, correct?” The dragon asked tilting his head (it was obviously a male) to the side. Ethan was still flabbergasted. Luckily, Twilight was there to answer.

“Actually, no. We’re looking for a large red dragon.” Twilight replied.

“Do you mean Izy?” The black dragon asked.

“What does Izy look like?” Twilight asked.

“She’s red and extremely violent, also rather selfish.” The black answered.

“No, we’re looking for a male, about seventy five tons, has a really stupid son named Garble.” Twilight told him.

“Oh, you’re looking for Jonathan. He lives at the top of that peak over there.” The black dragon replied while he pointed his head towards the next mountain over.

“His name is Jonathan?” Ethan asked flatly, finally regaining his ability to talk.

“Well, technically Jonathan is his middle name. But he prefers that to us calling him Dreadfire or Blackclaws, his first and last names.” The black dragon said with a light chuckle.

“Wait, then why did he name his son Garble?” Ethan asked.

“He didn’t, his mate did.” The black replied. A quiet moment passed when no one talked, then the black spoke again. “So why are you fighting Jonathan?”

“I may have stabbed his son in the chest, and then told him that his father was a sea serpent and his mother was a wyvern.” Ethan said, looking a bit embarrassed.

“Heh. Well, good luck with that fight, you’ll need it. Oh, and try not to hurt him too bad before you die. If he goes, then his son inherits his cave early and I or one of the others will be forced to eat the good for nothing brat before his head gets too big.” The black dragon said, narrowing his eyes.

“I’ll take it into consideration.” Ethan told him.

“Thank you, best of luck.” The dragon said before his head retreated into the cave. As they were walking away they heard the dragon say. “Apparently they’re off to fight Jonathan… Oh they’re certainly going to die… No Laurence, it’s not our fault… why would I have stopped them…?”

“I’m so happy that everyone seems to have such confidence in my fighting abilities.” Ethan told Twilight.

“Are you really surprised?” Twilight asked.

“Not really, I guess. I just wish we didn’t have to climb another mountain.” Ethan replied, looking at the next peak with a sigh.

“We could sing a song to pass the time.” Twilight suggested. Ethan turned to stare at her.

“That’s actually a great idea Sparky! Why didn’t I think of that?” Ethan asked her enthusiastically.

“Because I’m smarter then you.” She replied with a smirk.

“Oh, look who’s up on a high horse.” Ethan said with a chuckle. “Then again, you do ride Sunny all night, so I guess the analogy is appropriate…” He added, trailing off. Twilight blushed crimson as they headed towards the next peak and Ethan began to sing Blue Moon.

***

Prince Shining Star awoke to the sound of voices. He looked around blearily. He was in a simple, wooden floored room with walls of solid grey stone. His body had been lying on a bed that was surprisingly soft and warm. There were no windows; there was only a single door that was made of thick metal bars. The voices interrupted his inspection of the room, echoing off the walls outside his apparent cell.

“Yes, he will do nicely, very nicely indeed” The voice was deep and bold, the kind of voice used to giving orders and having them followed to the letter. It scared him, but not as much as the second voice.

“Good. These contracts have been difficult to create, even with my power.” Another voice purred.

Shining Star shivered. Something about that voice made him want to throw up. It was an infectious kind of sick sounding delight that tried to wiggle its way into his body.

“The first domino has fallen. Are the others in the appropriate positions?”

“Yes, things should go smoothly. They’ll be disposed of by sundown.” The second voice said with a soft purring giggle.

“Good, that should keep them occupied. How go the… other preparations?”

“Very well. It is surprising what you can accomplish in a very short amount of time when you’re corporal. I’d almost forgotten what it’s like.”

“Which is why we have the boy, I shall use the ultimate force in this universe to smite Sparkle. Irony!” The voice said before it dissolved into evil laughter.

“My, someone is feeling maniacal today.” The voice said with a soft laugh that made Star’s insides crawl.

“I’ll have a body again in ten days; I have but to wait for my plan to reach fruition and then I shall crush them all!” The voice roared.

“He is awake you know.” The other voice said dryly, and Star froze as a shiver sped up his spine.

“What of it? It matters little.” The first voice said dismissively.

A black cat walked into Star’s view. She was tall and elegant, with glowing yellow eyes that seemed to be looking through Star’s body instead of at it. A black slimy magical aura surrounded her, and she let out a purring chuckle.

“Hello there little one, I’m glad that you’re awake.” She told Star with a wide, sharp toothed grin.

“Where, where am I? Where’s my mama and papa?” The young prince asked timidly.

“You’re in a cell. As for your parents, well, they’re still alive unfortunately. It would make things much easier for us if they were dead, but nothing changes if they aren’t.” The cat answered with chuckle.

“What-what do you want with me?”

“Oh, I want nothing with you. As for my partner…well, I can’t tell you. That would ruin the fun.” She told him, baring her fangs as a cloud of dark magic flowed around her paw and slipped through the bars of the door. The magic deposited a plate of bland looking food along with a glass of water. “Eat up, can’t have you starving to death, can we?”

She walked away, leaving Star shivering and scared. He was too young to deal with something like this happening to him. So he did the only thing that he could. He got off of his bed and ate the food.

***

They neared the top of the mountain, and Ethan saw the entrance to Jonathan’s cave. It was huge, not just huge, but massive. Larger than the gates to both Megaton and the Citadel combined. Jonathan himself was lounging right outside, although lounging may have been subjective considering how big the dragon was. Ethan had no idea how the red scaled dragon could even move, let alone fly with the immense weight that he had to be carrying around. Then again, it was probably magic.

Up close, Ethan could see the individual scales of the dragon and his eyes widened significantly; each scale was taller than he was. Rippling chords of muscle flowed beneath the dragon’s scales, and Ethan was suddenly given the oddest feeling that the dragon could throw him off the mountain with a simple twitch of its tail. Where the black dragon’s head had been twice Ethan’s size, Jonathan’s was at least five times that with eyes the size of Ethan’s chest, a clear barrier suddenly arched down to cover the one that was looking at Ethan before just as rapidly retreating.

A mouth full of sharp teeth, the largest of a little taller than Ethan, opened and let out a tiny burst of flame that radiated heat with a white hot intensity. The massive eyes glared at Ethan and Twilight for a few seconds before the dragon decided to speak.

“I told you to come alone.” Jonathan rumbled deeply.

“I’m his guide; he wouldn’t have been able to find his way here without me.” Twilight answered matter-of-factly.

“Then so long as you do not interfere with the combat, short though it may be, I shall tolerate your intrusion.” Jonathan said, his voice shook the earth underneath Ethan’s feet. “Now Wanderer, shall we begin?”

“Yeah, we might as well; I want to get home in time for dinner.” Ethan replied with a smirk. Now that the initial surprise at the dragon’s size had passed, Ethan’s mind had begun to prepare a plan.

“Ha, I like your attitude monkey. It’s almost a pity that I will be eating you shortly.”

“I wouldn’t suggest it. I’d probably give you indigestion, the explosive kind.” Ethan said with a glint in his eye while he unhooked his gauss rifle from his back.

Jonathan wasted no more time with talking and immediately jumped into the air, throwing Ethan off of his feet with the sheer displacement of his wings moving the air. Ethan rolled to his feet and let off a shot from his gauss rifle that slammed into one of the scales on the dragon’s right side. The scale looked none the worse for wear except for a small black mark. Ethan quickly reloaded and rolled the side as Jonathan swooped down at him, clawed hand held open, planning to catch the man and then gobble him up early.

The hand passed over Ethan by barely a hair, but it was enough for Ethan who rolled on his stomach and brought up the rifle. His next shot sped out of the barrel and smashed into another of the dragon’s scales doing just as little this time as it had the last time. Ethan reloaded and fired again, this time aiming for the pale underbelly instead of the red scales. The shot smashed into the softer flesh, blasting open a large bloody patch. Jonathan let out a pained screech and came barreling down at Ethan, flames shooting from his mouth as he came. Ethan didn’t have time to dodge or roll away, so he crouched with his back turned to the dragon and hoped for the best.

The dragon’s flames rippled over the duster but found no purchase and died away. Rarity’s enchantment had thankfully stopped both the flames and the effects of convection. That did not however, protect Ethan from being thrown to the ground like a ragdoll by the dragon’s passing. He was sent rolling towards the edge of the mountain but stopped just in time; this wasn’t working. It was time to change things up a little.

Jonathan came in for another pass this time Ethan stood his ground and stared into the large, anger-filled draconic eyes as they swept towards him. He holstered his gauss rifle, and drew his blue bladed bowie knife. The dragon’s talons racked towards him at blinding speed, and Ethan found himself quickly parrying each claw in a flurry of motion. He wasn’t perfect however, and one of the talons slashed into his left shoulder tearing a large hole through both the duster and his shoulder beneath. Jonathan jerked his claw up, and Ethan was thrown into the air as he slipped free of the claw. The dragon caught him in the other hand and started to crush Ethan between his mighty taloned fingers. Ethan stabbed deep into a gap between the scales that covered the dragon’s palm. Jonathan let a bestial roar and his grip receded, allowing Ethan to take a running leap and land on the dragon’s forearm.

Jonathan let out a screech of annoyance as his prey once again evaded him and did the one thing that every flier knows will work in such a situation. He did a barrel roll. As the shifting mass of red scales rolled beneath him, Ethan stabbed deep into the tiny cracks between scales along the dragon’s forearm and held on for dear life. The world shifted several times and Ethan thought that he might pass out from the G-force, but it ended too quickly for that to happen. With a wide grin Ethan began to once again run up the dragon’s extremely long arm.

Twilight, who was watching this from below, looked on with wide eyes, she’d seen Ethan do impressive, impossible things before, but this took the cake.

“You impress me Wanderer; never before have I had such experienced such a challenge killing someone so small!” Jonathan rumbled, causing Ethan to almost lose his footing as the man scrambled onto the dragon’s wide back.

“And I’ve never had to try this hard to kill something so big!” Ethan shouted back as he pulled out his gauss rifle and began to fire it into the tremendously large scales surrounding the dragon’s spine. Sadly, it did nothing as well. The dragon shifted in the air again, this time flying completely upside down and forcing Ethan to let his gauss rifle fall from his hands and towards the earth as his hands reached for the knife at his belt. He slammed his knife into the dragon’s back seconds before the dragon had completed its rotation, and was left hanging onto the hilt of the knife for dear life.

As he hung there, Ethan’s brain was working in overdrive. The only part of the dragon that he’d managed to wound was the underbelly, which just wasn’t an option at this point. That left three possible weak points. Either wing, along with the head. Once gravity returned to normal Ethan took off at a sprint towards the dragon’s head. Unfortunately, Jonathan had apparently had enough of having Ethan on his back.

Suddenly, the dragon landed with a loud crash that sent Ethan flying off his back and into the dirt below. On the bright side, he landed next his gauss rifle so there was that going for him. The dragon stooped over the man and let loose a gout of flames that ate away at the flame shielding of his duster, and before he really realized what was happening Ethan began to burn as he looked straight into the dragon’s fire. He was in too much pain to turn over or move in any way. Finally, the dragon’s flame stopped and Ethan was revealed to Twilight once again. His body was covered in white burn marks where the skin had been seared away and the flesh below had become squishy and malleable. A firm layer of ash also covered him, obscuring the places where the duster hadn’t been burned away.

Twilight let out a shocked gasp as she began to run towards the downed form of her friend, horn glowing fully intending to avenge Ethan’s death. She was stopped however, when Ethan’s blackened cadaver stirred.

“Unbelievable.” Jonathan said as Ethan slowly got back to his feet while his wounds healed before their eyes.

“So, was that all you’ve got?” Ethan asked as he cracked his neck once.

“Ethan, you’re alive!” Twilight shouted.

“And you’re stating the obvious Sparky.” Ethan replied with a cocky smile, although he winced slightly when he spoke. Then, before anyone had time to react Ethan sprinted forward and opened a long slash across the unarmored underside of the dragon’s neck. Red blood poured out of the cut, but the dragon only chuckled.

“You do realize that my neck is thicker than your body don’t you?” Jonathan asked him dryly.

“You do realize that I don’t give a fuck, right?” Ethan replied before jumping backwards to avoid the incoming dragon’s claw.

He grabbed his gauss rifle and with one quick motion fired into the open wound in the dragon’s neck. Jonathan cried out in pain as the metal round slammed into the hole, practically vaporizing flesh as it went. The shot didn’t pass all the way through however. It didn’t even make it to through half.

The dragon looked down at Ethan, and the intense anger in the dragon’s eyes would’ve made most men turn tail and flee. Ethan however, wasn’t most men, so he did something that could actually help his cause and fired a shot towards the dragon’s eye. To the man’s extreme annoyance, the clear lens that he’d seen before slammed down blocking the shot completely.

“Oh, now that’s just not fair!” Ethan shouted.

“I’m sorry, but I don’t give a fuck.” The dragon replied with a toothy smile.

“Fucking cheating crocodile wannabe.” Ethan muttered as he rolled away from an incoming claw and drew A Light Shining in the Darkness. He inserted a clip of armour piercing .45 into the gun and opened up on the dragon’s head.

Bullets whizzed off of the large reflecting plates of scales that seemed to be harder than most all of the types of steel that Ethan had encountered in his travels. His mind was moving quickly, there was no way that he could take another roasting. Even his body would give out and die after two blasts of that fire, add to that that his duster was pretty much toast and he was fighting in his underwear and well… It was fair to say that this fight wasn’t going as well as Ethan had planned. Ethan dodged to the side as another talon slammed into the ground next to him. Then something occurred to Ethan, the dragon was toying with him.

“You’re just fucking with me aren’t you?” Ethan asked the dragon as he parried a talon swipe with his knife.

“I could be, why?” Jonathan asked with a light chuckle as one of his claws made it through Ethan’s defenses and slashed him across the chest, opening a huge cut that quickly began to heal.

“Because I DON’T like being fucked with!” Ethan shouted as he unloaded an entire clip into the nearest eye which was easily deflected by the lens.

“Would you prefer me to end this?” The dragon asked as his massive tail suddenly shot out of nowhere and launched Ethan into the air; the dragon caught him with surprising grace for something the size of half a town. The dragon held him with all five fingers, completely enclosing Ethan’s body and making it unable to move more than an inch.

“Would this be a good time to say that I’m sorry for stabbing your son?” Ethan asked.

“You stabbed my son?” The Jonathan asked in confusion.

“Yeah he was beating up Spike, so I stabbed him in the chest with my knife. Not too deep mind you, but still deep enough to get the point across.” Ethan told the dragon.

“I didn’t even notice that you had.” The dragon said with a frown.

“Wait, then why did you challenge me to a battle to the death?” Ethan asked.

“Because my son told me that you called me a poor, thin-scaled, blunt-clawed, infertile, lizard who couldn’t find a mate who wasn’t over a thousand.” The dragon rumbled angrily as he remembered his son’s narration.

“Why that sneaky little shit!” Ethan exclaimed angrily. “The only thing I ever said about you was the stuff that you heard when you came to the village, along with what I said during the fight!”

“You mean to tell me that I spent so much time and effort in a meaningless attempt to defend my honor?” The dragon asked in a low growl that seemed to make the very air vibrate.

“Yeah it seems that way.” Ethan agreed. Jonathan let Ethan fall to the ground and turned to face his cave.

“GARBLE, GET YOUR THIN SCALED ASS OUT HERE RIGHT NOW!” Jonathan roared, causing snow on one of the nearby peaks to tumble off in the beginning of an avalanche. Twilight heard a loud bit of feminine cursing coming from the other mountain, something about wanting a pavilion.

“Geez dad you didn’t have to yell, what is it?” Garble asked as he came into sight. “Did you ki-” Garble began, until he saw that Ethan was standing next to his father with black anger in his eyes. “-oh shit!” The teenaged dragon shouted as he began to run. Ethan’s pistol barked once and the dragon ended up eating dirt as his kneecap shattered

“Please allow me to discipline my brat.” The dragon told Ethan, he didn’t sound to upset however. “Garble, you lied to me.” Jonathan began slowly.

“I would never lie to you fa-” Garble started to say, but he was interrupted by Jonathan’s next sentence.

“And you lie to me again, was this some attempt to get rid of me Garble? Or did you think to use me as a TOY?!” Jonathan roared.

“I’d neve-”

“Silence! It was rhetorical!” Jonathan told him. “I have done my best to teach you the value of truth and respect. I seem to have failed, so I’m going to send you to someone who I know can teach you it… My mother.” The elder dragon told his son, who screamed in horror.

“No, dad! Seriously, don’t send me there! I’ll do anything!” The younger dragon begged.

“You almost got me killed fighting this… are you called a stallion?” Jonathan asked, turning to Ethan.

“You’re looking for man, or human if you’re not being gender specific.” Twilight supplied before Ethan could open his mouth.

“Thank you unicorn. You almost got me killed fighting this man, I have no choices left, you must go.” The dragon continued.

“But dad, grandma is-”

“Extremely good at beating young idiots like you into shape, you’re leaving tomorrow morning at dawn.” Jonathan said with finality.

“But dad!” Garble protested.

“You can have the rest of the day to hang out with your friends, but after that I’m flying you to your grandmother’s cave and that’s where you’re staying until she says that you’re a functioning member of proper draconic society. Now go, I have guests to attend to.” Jonathan told his son before turning back to Ethan. “I have ruined your armor; would you like to browse the rather large selection that I have acquired over the years from various bipeds, and then join me in a meal of deer and ale?” The large red dragon asked Ethan who shrugged.

“I don’t see why not, what about you Sparky?” Ethan asked Twilight.

“I’ll have grass or something else, but I’m game.” Twilight replied with a nod.

“Excellent, I have much to make up for!”

***

The pegasi pulling the carriage sent to pick up Twilight and Ethan were getting antsy. They’d arrived at exactly noon, and they’d been waiting for half an hour without even a sight of the purple unicorn or her tall friend.

“Dude, this is ridiculous. Screw it, I’m going to knock.” Adamant told his partner Resolute, who nodded.

“I was just about to suggest it.” The other pegasus agreed.

Adamant went up to the door and politely knocked. The door was answered by a purple dragon wearing an apron.

“Umm, can I help you?” Spike asked.

“Yeah, we were sent to pick up Twilight Sparkle and Ethan Smith, where are they?” Adamant asked.

“Oh, they went to fight a giant red dragon who lives over in that mountain.” Spike answered with a jerk of his thumb in the direction of the appropriate mountain. Adamant didn’t say anything else to Spike, and instead sprinted back towards his partner. The two took to the skies a few seconds later, and sped away into the sky, bound once more for Canterlot.

***

Princess Celestia was in the middle of a diplomatic meeting when Adamant burst into the room and rushed over to the princess. He quickly related his news and Celestia’s eyes widened.

“I’m sorry, but I have to go and keep Ethan from being eaten by the biggest dragon in the country.” Celestia told the two ambassadors, who nodded as if this were an everyday occurrence for them. The princess then vanished in a flash of light.

***

“So then they say ‘…the aristocrats!’” Ethan said with a wide grin, Twilight looked like she was about to puke but still managed a weak smile while Jonathan let out a great belly laugh that shook the walls of the cave.

“That is truly one of the best tellings of that joke that I have ever heard!” The dragon told Ethan before biting into another deer body.

“Thanks, a man named Arcade taught it to me.” Ethan replied with a grin before he took a small sip of is ale.

Suddenly, Princess Celestia flashed into existence wearing her full golden war regalia. She looked fierce enough to kill most things on sight, but the second that she saw the group she let out a long sigh and willed the armor away. Ethan was still half naked, but a new sword laid on the ground next him in a sheath of black stained wood. The cross guard was a simple straight line above the hilt, with no unnecessary jewels or other ornamentation. The grip was made of black leather and the pommel was inset with a small ruby.

“Sunny, you made it! Would you like some ale?” Ethan asked her with a grin as he offered the alicorn a mug from a nearby bench. Celestia stared at the mug for a second before accepting and taking a polite sip. Then she turned back to the massive red dragon.

“Should I even ask what happened here?” She asked Jonathan, apparently they knew each other.

“Worry not sun guardian, they’re both alive. And this man has earned himself a friend.” The dragon told Celestia with a deep chuckle. “If for nothing else then for the sheer amount of balls it took for him to challenge me to a one on one fight. Not that it was all that smart, but it certainly took a great deal of bravery.” The dragon added.

“I think I’m never letting him leave Canterlot again.” Celestia said as she closed her eyes in annoyance.

“Aww, come on Sunny. It’s not that bad, no one got hurt… Well I almost died and he got a little scratched up, but that’s not really important.” Ethan replied, giving her a grin before taking another sip of his ale.

“Aren’t you supposed to be avoiding alcohol?” Celestia asked him with narrowed eyes.

“This is my first mug and I’m taking it slow. Besides, you can’t just turn down free ale when your host offers it.” Ethan replied with a shrug.

“I suppose that that would be rude.” Celestia said with a sigh as she took a seat next to Twilight. “So judging by the state of your armor, the burn marks on your skin, and the hole in your shoulder that’s still healing that you lost?” She asked Ethan who nodded.

“It would’ve been different if I had my powerarmor. Or hell, if I had one of my heavy weapons. Unfortunately, I
didn’t have time to grab much from Cassandra’s armory.” Ethan told her. “And the one thing that I did have time to grab is too special to be used on a dragon. No offense.” Ethan said with a nod towards Jonathan, who chuckled.

“None taken. However, I would like to know what’s more special than a dragon.” Jonathan replied.

“I don’t know, but if I waste it then my wife will literally castrate me.” Ethan said with a fond smile.

“Well I need to get back to Canterlot if you’re not in danger of being eaten; I’ll send a carriage to pick you up. Do NOT go anywhere else.” Celestia told Ethan flatly.

“Sunny, I’m the Lone Wanderer. I go where I want.” Ethan told her with a grin.

“Twilight, be a dear and hold him in a magic field so strong that he can’t move a muscle if he tries to leave.” Celestia told, Twilight who smiled.

“Of course Tia, it’ll be fun.” Twilight replied, while giving Ethan a sweet smile at the prospect. Ethan’s eyes widened, but he kept his mouth closed sensing that this was one of those times that talking would result in something bad happening to him.

“I’ll expect you shortly then.” Celestia told them before turning to Jonathan. “And it’s always a pleasure to see you again Jonathan, I’ll be looking for your next report by the end of the month.” She added before she flashed away.

“Report?” Ethan asked the dragon, who shrugged.

“I have to send her reports on the dragon population, we’re endangered after all.” Jonathan replied with a shrug.

“You don’t sound too worried about that.” Ethan said.

“Well, I’ve been alive twenty thousand years. That’s long enough to know inevitability when it’s staring you in the face.” Jonathan said with a shake of his massive head.

“Wait, you’re that old?” Ethan asked in confusion.

“Yes, how else would I get this big?” Jonathan asked with a chuckle.

“Well that makes sense.” Ethan agreed with a shrug. “So how close to killing you did I come?”

“It would’ve taken you another two hours or so at the rate you were going.” Jonathan told him.

“Hey Sparky, this reminds me. I’ve been meaning to ask you something.” Ethan told the purple unicorn.

“What is it Ethan?” Twilight asked.

“Well I’ve been thinking, and honestly I came here a little under armed for this place, getting my ass kicked by Jonathan here kind of reinforced the point. So I was wondering if you could take me to my house in Megaton and then get back without anyone noticing.” Ethan said.

“Hmm… Yeah, I don’t see why not. It’ll take a little energy, and if you’d asked me yesterday I would’ve said no, but I should be able to manage it today.” Twilight said with a smile.

“Perfect, because I’m going to need some new toys to use.” Ethan told her with a grin.

“Didn’t the Sun Princess tell you not to leave the cave?” Jonathan asked.

“Technically we won’t have left the cave, only the dimension.” Ethan replied with a sly grin.

“Sound logical by my reckoning.” Jonathan said with an agreeable chuckle.

“Alright Sparky, let’s go.” Ethan told Twilight, who shook her head once before they vanished in a flash.

***

They appeared in Ethan’s Megaton home to find that a firm layer of dust had settled over everything. Ethan let out a sigh and made his way to his armour locker.

“You’re not getting that armour you used to fight the supermutant army, are you?” Twilight asked in concern, she didn’t want to know how Equestrians would act if they saw him walking around in that suit.

“Nope, that’s overkill for pretty much anything Sparky. I’m just going with my Winterized T51B.” Ethan replied with a shrug as he began to pull the white suit of powerarmor out of the locker. Twilight still had no idea how he managed to fit all of his weapons and armor in two lockers, but she’d already decided that it didn’t really matter.

“Didn’t you use that to make that other armour though?” Twilight asked.

“No, I based it off of the design for this suit.” Ethan said as he began to struggle into the overly large armour.

“So what weapons are you getting?” Twilight asked.

“My special Anti-Material rifle, a heavy machinegun, a 12.7mm sub machinegun, Vengeance, and my shock sword.” Ethan answered while he finished getting into his armour; he’d left out the helmet, preferring to forgo it.

“Didn’t you just get a new sword?” Twilight asked, pointing to the sword in question.

“Yes Sparky, but that sword is for fighting in a battlefield, not for clearing out buildings or tight spaces.” Ethan replied with a shrug as he slipped the sword that Jonathan had given him over his back.

“Didn’t you already have a knife for that?” Twilight inquired.

“Sparky, please stop questioning me. I’ve already had a very long day.” Ethan told her with a long sigh.

“Sorry Ethan, it’s in my nature to question things.” Twilight told him, looking at her hooves.

“I know that Sparky, it’s just that I got my ass brutally handed to me today and I’m not in the mood for it.” Ethan told her grouchily.

“Alright Ethan.” Twilight consented with a simple nod.

Despite how energetic he’d appeared in the dragon’s cave, Ethan now looked tired and beaten. Half of his hair had been burned to a crisp and had yet to grow back, leaving him half bald. A new scar ran along his jawline from where one of Jonathan’s claws had done more than it originally seemed. His blue eyes had taken on an almost bloodshot sheen, and they looked wearier than Twilight had ever seen them before.

“Just how close did you come to dying today Ethan?” Twilight asked softly.

“Too damn close Twilight, I wouldn’t have been able to go another ten minutes, let alone another half hour.” Ethan said quietly. “I’ve been burned before Twilight, but that dragon’s fire… It scorched me in places I didn’t even know that I had; I can still feel it eating away at me. The, the worst part is that I can’t tell if it’s just my imagination, or if it’s actually still there.” Ethan told her. He looked scared; this experience was completely new to him. He had no way to know what it meant, no way to fight down the growing panic inside him as he felt the enchanted flames of the dragon wash over him again, and again, and again.

“Ethan, you can’t keep this up.” Twilight told him.

“Really, you don’t fucking say!” Ethan snapped angrily. “Ever since I left the goddamned Vault people have looked to me as beacon of hope! I’m just one man Twilight, one very tired man.” Ethan said with a shake of his head as a few tears began to trickle down his face.

“I know Ethan.” Twilight said softly as she went over and leaned comfortingly against him. Ethan sighed.

“I know you do Twilight.” He shook his head and wiped away the tears. “Come on, we have a war to prevent and a prince to rescue.” He added.

Twilight nodded, and they vanished. Lucas Simms burst in a few seconds later, looked around, and grumbled something about his ears playing tricks on him. Ethan hadn’t been seen in near on eight months now, how would he have gotten into the house without anyone noticing him entering the city?

“Least the Brotherhood has things secured.” Simms muttered as he closed the door. Silence reigned over the house once more, awaiting its master’s return.

Chapter 14

View Online

Edited by TacoTown

Chapter 14

Ethan and Twilight flashed back into Jonathan’s cave to find the dragon talking with two very frightened pegasi.

“Oh look, they’re back.” The giant red dragon said as he turned to look at where Twilight and Ethan now stood. “Wearing new armour too by the looks of it.” He added.

“Yeah, sorry but I needed to pick some stuff up from home.” Ethan told the pegasi, who exchanged a look and then shrugged. Who were they to argue with the man who had survived a fight with an ancient dragon and who was now wearing extremely intimidating armor?

“It’s fine sir, we’ve only been here a few minutes.” Adamant replied.

“Good, and don’t call me sir. I’m not your commanding officer, call me Ethan.” Ethan told him with a sigh. “Thanks for the ale and the sword.” He said with a nod to Jonathan, and then walked out of the cave without a backwards glance.

“I thought he was supposed to be happy all the time.” Adamant whispered to Resolute.

“He was nearly consumed by my fire; tell me how cheerful you are after that.” Jonathan grumbled. “Now I’d like you all to leave. This is more company then I’ve had in the last thousand years and I have a nap to take.” The dragon added.

“But I need to talk to you about som-” Twilight began, but the dragon interrupted her.

“Has anyone ever told you how good ponies taste with ketchup?” The dragon asked.

“No…” Twilight said.

“The answer is very good.” Jonathan replied. Twilight and the two guards exchanged a look, and then sprinted towards the exit. The dragon chuckled a bit before resting his head against the ground and shutting his eyes.

***

Shining Armour was furious. While he’d been out leading the assault on the diamond dogs, which was apparently completely unnecessary thanks to Ethan and his sister being there, his son had been kidnapped! Shining had been so angry in fact that it’d taken him twenty minutes of demolishing practice dummies to get himself calmed down enough to hold a reasonable conversation with anyone. He’d then thoroughly interviewed both the guards and the assassin, whose teeth he wanted to break, and come up with nothing to track except for vague suggestion of heading north. Cadence, who was sitting next to him on their bed, was equally angry, although her anger was focused on herself.

“I just let him jump out the window!” She exclaimed for what must have been the twentieth time.

“I don’t blame you Cadence. From what he says you actually managed to hit him, unlike the majority of the guards after him.” Shining said, reassuring his wife. He knew from experience that the last thing she needed to be doing was blaming herself for this.

“Still, I should’ve done something!” She said with an angry snort. “It’s not like this is the first time I’ve been defenceless either.” She added with a frown as she thought back to Chrysalis kidnapping her.

“So you want combat training?” Shining asked with a raised eyebrow.

“Yes!” Cadence said as she nodded her head emphatically.

“Hmm… Yes I can train you, at least in some minor forms of self-defense.” Shining said after a few moments of silent thinking.

“Thank you Shine. First though, we have to worry about the Gala.” She said with a frown.

“Wait, the Gala is coming up?” Shining asked in confusion.

“Yes, did you forget?” Cadence asked with a sigh.

“Sorry dear, I’ve been more preoccupied with preventing a war between two nations who are only using negotiations as a tool to mock each other.” Shining said dryly. “Oh, and then I was called away to fight diamond dogs while our son was kidnapped.” He added. “So excuse me if I haven’t been paying the closest attention to the nobles and their stupid party!” He finished angrily. Cadence flinched under his angry glare. Shining sighed; he hadn’t meant to explode on her like that. “I’m sorry Cadence; I’m just under a lot of stress right now.” Shining told his wife.

“And I’m not?” Cadence replied heatedly. “Shine, I almost died. Kane could’ve killed me easily if it was his primary objective instead of an afterthought in his employer’s mind. Not only that but I’ve spent just as much, if not more, time keeping the ambassadors from killing each other.” She told him.

“Yeah, I guess you have.” Shining said with a long sigh. “Look Cadence, you know I didn’t mean to sound condescending.”

“I know Shine, I’m just a little shook up from all this.” His wife told him before she leaned over and gave him a kiss on the cheek.

“So, when is the Gala?” Shining asked.

“It’s tonight.” Cadence said simply.

“This is going to suck.” Shining said with a groan.

“At least Ethan will be there, I’m sure that you two will be able to keep each other entertained.” Cadence said, trying to raise her husband’s spirits.

“I don’t know. He went absolutely berserk in the cave with the dogs. Hell, I’ve never seen someone that angry before.” Shining said with a slight shudder. “There’s something wrong with him Cadence, he wasn’t like that at all last time I saw him.”

“Maybe if you gave him a pep talk? I know that your guards usually feel better after one of those.” Cadence suggested. Their conversation was interrupted by knocking at their door.

“Captain, your sister has returned with Ethan, I thought that you’d like to see them.” Shining recognized the voice; it was Bluestreak, the commander of the Lunar Guard.

“Thank you Bluestreak, I’ll be right there.” Shining replied.

“Of course sir.” Bluestreak said before walking back towards the courtyard.

“Do you want to come too Cadence?” Shining asked his wife, who nodded while he got off of the bed and headed towards the door.

“Sure, why not?” She replied with a shrug as she rose off the bed and followed her husband.

***

Kane stood awkwardly in the doorway of the Lunar Guard barracks. Sitting around the commons staring at him angrily were the members of the Lunar Guard who he’d led through the city last night. Princess Luna was standing beside him and Kane had the oddest feeling that her presence was the only thing keeping him from being torn apart. He recognized the white maned sergeant who had confronted him right before he’d used the one time teleportation spell, eyeing him warily along with a young looking red maned draconic pegasus, who looked strangely excited to see him.

“Ohh, Princess! Do we get to beat him up? huh huh huh huh huh?” The red maned pegasus asked rapidly while he flew up to Kane and began to jab at the cat. Kane followed his every strike, fully aware that it would only take one or two moves to kill the kid. Not that Kane planned to, it’s just that old habits die hard. Well, actually old habits die easier than new habits. Mostly because new habits are usually worse than the old ones, in Kane’s case this meant that he graduated from robbing rich assholes to shoving his knife through rich assholes.

“Be silent Storm.” Luna commanded.

“I can’t really be anything else Princess, it’s my name after all. And I can’t change my name without going through customs and everyone knows that that takes forever!” The pegasus said with a wide grin. Luna shook her head with a chuckle.

“I really walked into that one, didn’t I?” She asked the rest of the assembled guards who chuckled a bit themselves. Kane felt a bit of the pressure that had settled over the room defuse slightly, although he could still tell that each and every guard was still looking for ways to kill him. Kane mostly ignored it; he’d been stared at angrily by much scarier things than a bunch of draconic pegasi and unicorns with a fetish for black and silver armour. That being said he was pretty sure that they’d kick his ass…

“So why is he here Mistress?” A purple maned unicorn with the insignia of a major on his armour asked.

“He’s here to become a member of the Lunar Guard.” Luna answered casually. The effect was immediate. Kane had heard bar fights quieter. Stallions and mares had risen to their hooves to argue against the decision. Although Kane did notice that all of the anger and mistrust was being hurled specifically at him, not one insult was thrown at the Princess.

“You expect us to let this assassin into our ranks?” The white maned sergeant asked incredulously.

“This asshat led us on a chase through the bucking city!” A pegasus nursing a black eye shouted.

“He’s a blood thirsty murder!” One of the female guards added.

“He’s a cat!” Someone else shouted pointing out the obvious.

“He kidnapped Prince Shining Star!” Another shouted.

“And he smells bad!” The Silent Storm added.

“I understand your concerns, except for yours Silent, and I know that I’m asking a lot of you in order for you to accept him as one of your own.” Luna said calmly while she met each of their eyes in one slow sweeping gaze. “However, I’m asking you to trust me as your friend, comrade, and princess on this decision.”

That quieted them at once, Kane’s golden eyes widened slightly in surprise. To quiet them so quickly she must have commanded a great deal of their respect. Added to that was the way that she’d phrased it. She hadn’t made it an order; she’d made a request, one that could be turned down if the guards so wished to. That spoke volumes to someone as experienced as Kane was. Not that he’d had a lot of contact with disciplining soldiers, but he’d been involved with enough groups to know that those who got what they wanted via asking instead of commanding were far more likely to truly respect their men.

“Princess we’ll follow you to the gates of Tartarus if you ask us to and wrestle down Cerberus if we need to…” A grizzled old dark purple stallion said in a voice that still cracked with power despite his obviously advantaged age. “…But if you want us to accept this… Cat into our ranks then you need to give us an explanation.” He gave Kane a level gaze and Kane was suddenly reminded of one of old cats he’d gone to for training when he’d first decided on his new career. The old cat had beaten Kane within an inch of his life while blindfolded and Kane had the oddest feeling that this old guard had the same capability.

“Of course, my noble guards.” Luna said with a nod before she continued. “I wouldn’t ask it of you otherwise.” Her voice was calm and soothing. Kane found himself floating away on the melody of her words but at the last minute, and with an enormous amount of willpower, he kept himself from becoming too distracted to pay attention.

“So…?” The white maned guard asked.

“He was being manipulated.” Luna stated simply. This won several raised eyebrows, but nothing more from the guards. “A week ago he was drugged and then made to sign a magically binding contract in his own blood. This contract essentially took away a large portion of his free will and forced to kidnap our prince. Despite his condition he managed to avoid killing Princess Cadence, any civilians, guards, or anyone else that I’m aware of.” Luna explained calmly. The guards still regarded Kane warily, but he was pretty sure that he saw something close to sympathy in a few of their eyes.

“Ma’am with all due respect if he’s under the mental influence of the ones who kidnapped the Prince then wouldn’t it be wisest to simply lock him up somewhere instead of making him a member of one of the most trusted organizations in the kingdom, thereby giving him access to a phenomenal amount of resources along with full knowledge of our plans?” Silent Storm asked breathlessly. Kane chuckled; he’d had the same thought already. Luna smiled slightly and nodded.

“Yes, that would make sense, if he hadn’t already proved himself perfectly capable of escaping from my best chains in fewer than thirty minutes.” Luna explained.

“It wasn’t the bondage stuff was it? Because Bluestreak says that all you have to do is pull the strap right between-” Silent began but was cut off by a slightly annoyed snort from Luna.

“No Silent, I didn’t use my bondage gear.” Luna said slightly with a slight groan.

“Good, because that would be really really weird.” Silent said with a grin. The rest of the guard regarded him with looks that ranged from tired to annoyed and everywhere in-between. Kane found himself liking the kid more and more.

“Anyways, we can’t hold him through traditional means so I’ve devised a solution.” Luna continued. “As you all know very well, entrance into the Lunar Guard requires you to take an oath that permanently removes you from any previous contract including marriage contracts, although I’ve been told that they no longer have those these days so that part is rather worthless now…” Luna said, trailing off for a second. “…No matter, I’m glad to see the back end of such things, although it did mean that the old guard had quite a few noble mares in it.” Luna said with a shrug.

“So what you’re saying is that if I join your guard then I’ll be free of the preexisting contract, even though I signed it in my blood which should render it completely void meaning that besides my temporary obligation to you I’ll be a free cat again?” Kane asked, just to make sure that he understood what she was saying.

“That is correct Kane, with one fairly minor condition.” Luna said with a slight smile.

“Oh, and what would that be?” Kane asked cautiously. In his experience, conditions were a bad thing. For example if a queen said that she wanted you to ravish her for an entire night in a nonstop orgy of pleasure, but with the condition that you had to do it without her husband knowing about it while he slept across the hallway. Then again that had been a fairly fun night, well, except the part where her husband had almost had him beheaded because the damned queen couldn’t keep her damn mouth shut.

“Well the oath is unbreakable and inescapable.” Luna told him. “In other words it’s permanent, once you join the Lunar Guard you’re in it for life.”

The blood drained away from Kane’s face. Permanent… Kane didn’t like permanent things… Permanent meant boring unchanging blandness. He’d never again know the joy of running across rooftops at midnight while a squadron of idiot household guards chased him fruitlessly. The rules of his life’s code would no longer apply to him, and instead he’d be bound to those of the Lunar Guard. On the other paw, at least he doubted that there would be a lot of restrictions on sex, from what he’d heard Luna was the go-to mare for stuff like that.

“Oh, and we have you gelded.” Luna added.

Kane moved faster than most eyes could see heading straight for the door. He would’ve made it if Luna hadn’t grabbed him in her magic. She dangled the struggling cat in the air upside down in front of her with a smirk on her face. Kane meanwhile was hissing and clawing at her.

“You’re not gelding me! I like my dick and testicles just the way they are you crazy moon-addled bitch! I wouldn’t let you anywhere near them even if you promised me a tensome with nine of the most beautiful queens in the world! Even if you could get me a night with Bast herself!” Kane shouted while he floated upside down in front of Luna, who regarded him with a wider smirk.

“Kane, I was kidding.” She said with a chuckle. The cat’s fur was standing on end and his cloak was now ruffled and messy. His whiskers twitched and his eyes narrowed.

“You don’t joke about that. Not EVER! I’ve had to many close calls for me not to take them all seriously, honestly the first few times that a lover who I annoyed threatened me that way it was funny. Then one of them almost fucking did with a rusty freaking CARVING KNIFE” Kane shouted while he twitched visibly. Luna’s eyes were wide with surprise, as were those of the guards. It was the first time that she’d seen the cat visibly agitated.

“I’m so sorry Kane, I didn’t know.” Luna apologized as she set the cat gently down on the ground. He knelt on all fours and began to slowly pat down his fur starting with his arms and chest, slowly working his way down to his tail and legs. He didn’t look up the entire time that he did it, and all the while Luna and the guards stared at him. When he was done, Kane slowly returned to his rear feet and gave Luna a hard look.

“I know you didn’t, but forgive me for being touchy about something like that when it involves a binding contract after my recent experience.” The cat told her as he began to clean the claws of his right paw with is tongue.

“So would you kindly take my offer?” Luna asked.

“Not if you ask it like that.” Kane told her, for some reason there was an odd glint in his eyes but it passed quickly.

“Would you please accept my offer?” Luna tried again.

“Sure, as long as I’m not being gelded, and it’ll get rid of my preexisting contract. Oh, and you have no problem with your members sleeping around, do you? Because that’s one of my specialties.” Kane replied with a shrug.

“I’m not a hypocrite.” Luna replied with a chuckle.

“Alright then, draw me up an oath to say and let’s get this show on the road. Oh, and beer. I could really do with a beer, or vodka, or a martini, or a margarita. Oh! Or tequila, I love that stuff, or at least I think I do I don’t remember much after my third bottle but I usually end up in a queen’s bed so I love it!”

***

Ethan’s carriage touched down in the courtyard and was met by Princess Celestia, Princess Cadence, Shining Armor, and both Ambassadors. There were several raised eyebrows from the assembled nobles as their eyes scanned over Ethan’s new armour and his lack of hair, which was already growing back, along with the still fairly noticeable burn marks that covered his face and neck.

“What happened to you two Twily?” Shining asked his sister.

“Ethan fought a 20,000 year old dragon and lost. So we decided to take a quick trip to his house and picked up some new toys.” Twilight replied casually. Ethan nodded with a slight frown on his face as he looked at the two ambassadors.

“I’d just like to tell you that if either of your people start a war with no purpose then I will end you. I will do it so completely that history will forget that you even existed and even the few that do still remember you will speak of you only in depths of night at a whisper for fear that I will find them. I will burn your cities to ashes as I hunt down your women and children and I will slowly tear them apart limb by limb until there’s nothing left but tiny giblets of gore. Your men shall be driven through stakes and kept alive as they rot upon them for a week. All these things and more will I do if you start a war for the sake of war because I will NOT let you ruin this land in the name of glory. Remember that next time you’re at the negotiating table” Ethan told them before turning back to Twilight. “I’m taking a nap.” With that done Ethan walked past the two startled ambassadors and headed towards his room. A shocked silence fell across the courtyard as Ethan’s words echoed through the ears of the assembled diplomats. Finally, Nymira spoke.

“What the hell happened to him?” She asked, although her voice sounded somewhat strangled.

“He got roasted for a full ten minutes worth of fire from a 20,000 year old dragon, and then got up and kept fighting the thing naked.” Twilight replied simply.

“But no one could survive that much dragon’s fire!” Sharp protested.

“Ethan can and did.” Twilight said.

“That poor, poor man. He must be in so much pain.” Cadence said with a sorry shake of her head.

“More then you know Cadence, more then you know.” Twilight told the pink alicorn. “Tia, I need to talk to Luna. Do you know where she is?” Twilight asked, turning to Celestia.

“I believe that she is throwing a party for her newest recruit, you’ll find her in the Lunar Guard barracks.” Celestia told her mare with a smile. “Oh, and Twilight, don’t forget that the Gala is tonight.” Celestia added.

“It is?!” Twilight asked in surprise.

“We talked about it before Ethan got here. Don’t you remember?” Celestia asked Twilight, who shook her head rapidly.

“No, I’d completely forgotten… Well I’m sure Rarity didn’t, so she’ll probably have a dress for me and I can ask her to whip up something quick for Ethan.” Twilight said after tilting her head slightly to the side for a few seconds while she thought.

“I would think so.” Celestia told her with a reassuring nod.

“Thanks for the reminder Tia.” Twilight told the alicorn before she teleported away.

“You have an interesting relationship with your ‘student’ Princess.” Nymira said with a chuckle.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.” Celestia said aloofly, although a small grin was working its way across her lips.

***

Luna was enjoying herself. She was in her element among her guard. Lt Moonshadow was being tossed in the air by her squad mates, while she sang an extremely dirty song about being in heat that almost made even Luna blush. To the right old Captain Gengar, was telling some of the younger guardsmen a story about the time he’d fought off an entire town full of psychic earth ponies. Sargent Brighteyes meanwhile, was busy regaling several if the other officers with the tale of his nighttime adventure with the famous mare Cloudkicker, much to the annoyance of several of the other Kickers in the room who were shooting him glares. Luna somehow managed to repress a chuckle. She’d spent a night in a prison cell with the wily blue mare; it had been one of her best nights since before she’d been banished. Her newest recruit was busy talking to Silent Storm. Apparently Kane had always been a big talker even without the contract so Silent had finally found someone who could keep track of what he was saying. Luna was just about to go up to the cat and ask him a few questions when Twilight Sparkle flashed into existence in front of her.

“Come to join the party Twilight?” Luna asked with a smirk.

“Sadly, no. I need your help Luna.” Twilight told the alicorn, who nodded.

“I suppose I can leave the children alone for an hour or so.” Luna said with a chuckle as she glanced over her shoulder in time to see a small brawl develop behind her. “What do you need Twilight?” Luna asked turning back to Twilight.

“Ethan’s taking a nap. I need you to do a little poking around in his head.” Twilight told Luna simply.

“Twilight we both know I don’t do invasive searches.” Luna told the purple mare who nodded.

“I know that Princess, all I’m asking is for you to take a look around.” Twilight said.

“That’s still rather unscrupulous Twilight, what do you think he would do if he knew that I was viewing his most private of thoughts?” Luna asked Twilight who frowned worriedly.

“I don’t know Princess, what I do know is that he’s becoming increasingly unstable and if I don’t know more soon then I won’t be able to help him. And if I can’t help him then…well I’d hate to see how long it would take to make him either back down, or to kill him.” As she said the last part Twilight’s voice broke. Luna closed her eyes in thought as her magic grabbed a beer bottle heading for her head out of the air and chucked it back in the direction of brawl. At last she opened her eyes and nodded.

“I’ll do this Twilight, on one condition.” Luna said.

“Anything.” Twilight said with a quick nod.

“I’m asking for his permission before I go in. I will not violate his mind Twilight.” Luna said, fixing the unicorn with a stern look.

“But what it he says no?!” Twilight asked with a small stomp of her metallic hoof.

“Then you’ll be forced to use conventional means. I will not mention that this is your idea if you don’t want me to, although I’d think that he would think about it in a more positive light if he knew it was from you.” Luna said; her voice brooked no argument.

“I… Of course Princess, you can tell him that it’s my idea.” Twilight said after a half second of hesitation.

“Twilight, are you alright?” Luna asked softly.

“I’m fine Princess; I’m just a little tired after the last two days. They’ve been rather hectic.” Twilight said with a sigh.

“I can see that, after all it’s not every day that somepony assaults a camp of diamond dogs and then helps their friend fight a dragon.” Luna said, giving Twilight a small wink.

“Thanks for understanding Princess.” Twilight said giving the alicorn a slightly sheepish grin.

“You’re welcome Twilight. I’ll go to Ethan’s room in one second.” Luna told Twilight with a smile before she turned back to the growing brawl behind her. “You’re all responsible for cleaning this place so I don’t want to hear any whining tonight about not being able to go to the Gala because you were too busy mopping the barracks!” She shouted above the noise. The brawl stopped and the participants looked up at Luna in slight embarrassment. A unicorn mare currently had a pegasus suspended in midair, while earth pony was in the middle of punching a unicorn in the jaw. Twilight couldn’t hold in her amusement which burst out of her as a light giggle at the odd positions that they’d frozen in.

“Errrm, understood Princess.” One of them said, smiling at Luna who chuckled.

“Unfortunately, I have business that I must see to so I won’t be able to stay here any longer and enjoy your company.” Luna said. This news was greeted by many groans and moans. “However, you all have the rest of the day and night off along with free entry to the Gala.” She added with a grin. The guards let out a cheer, except for Kane who was too busy talking to Silent.

“We’ll see you there Princess!” The guards shouted, somehow managing to all say it at the same time before turning back to their entertainments.

“Ah… This reminds me of the glory days.” Luna said with a nostalgic smile.

“Well, I need to go see Rarity about getting a dress for the Gala.” Twilight told the alicorn, who nodded.

“I’ll see you at the Gala then Twilight, but first I need to go and have a talk with Ethan.”

***

Rainbow Dash was reading a Daring Doo novel while she sat in a chair inside her palace room. Suddenly, she was interrupted by the sound of someone knocking on her door. Dash sighed. This was the first time in the last few days that she’d had time to read thanks to all of the stuff that was going on around Canterlot. The knocking became even louder.

“Alright alright I’m coming, geez.” Dash said. She flew to the door and opened it quickly. Standing in front of the door with a raised eyebrow was none other than Princess Gilda the griffin. Before Gilda could even open her beak to speak, Dash rushed through the doorway and clasped her forelegs around Gilda in an enthusiastic hug which the griffin quickly leaned into.

“Hey there Dash, did you miss me?” Gilda asked with a chuckle once the chromatic pegasus had loosened her grip.

“You’re damned right I missed you, it’s been weeks G!” Dash exclaimed.

“And all I get is a hug; typical ponies.” Gilda said with a grin. Dash rolled her eyes.

“Would you prefer me to start French kissing you in the hallway where any servant can see it?” Dash asked, causing Gilda to chuckle.

“Maybe.” Gilda said while giving Dash a conspiratorial wink.

“You know, most princesses are a little quieter about this sort of thing.” Dash said with a chuckle as Gilda walked into her room and she shut the door firmly behind her.

“Have you even heard of what Princess Luna gets up to Dash? Honestly, I don’t think I could ever even make most of it up.” Gilda said with a smirk.

“Yeah, but Luna is a goddess. What are people going to do, mock her?” Dash asked with a grin.

“Well Dash, my people generally don’t care about simple things like who their princess has sex with. It’s mostly thanks to our whole lifebonding thing.” Gilda replied with a shrug as she moved over to Dash’s bed and took a seat. Dash landed beside her and leaned into the griffin’s side.

“So what’re you doing here anyways? I thought that your dad was keeping you in the capital until this whole thing blew over.” Dash asked.

“Well it’s the Grand Galloping Gala tonight, so I was able to convince him that I would be needed to smooth relations.” Gilda explained with a grin “Not that I’m not fully confident that Aunt Nymira can do a good job of that without me of course.” She added with a chuckle.

“Ambassador Nymira is your AUNT?” Dash asked in surprise.

“Umm, duh. Come on D, I even introduced you to her last time you came over.” Gilda said with a chuckle and a shake of her head.

“Oh right, now I remember…” Dash said before trailing off. “Although in this case you can’t really blame me, I was drunk most of that trip.”

“You and my father…” Gilda said with a smirk. “You know I was worried that you two wouldn’t get along, then he offers you a mug of beer and you’re best friends.”

“What can I say, I like my beer.” Dash said with a grin.

“Anyways, what’s been going on around here?” Gilda asked.

“Hmm… well, your aunt has been making passes at everything that moves.” Dash began.

“That sounds about right for her.” Gilda said.

“Then Twilight brought her friend Ethan here, and he’s been helping keep things calm, and fighting and stuff.” Dash continued. “Oh, and then all the children in Ponyville were kidnapped by diamond dogs.” Dash said; Gilda’s gasped in surprise. “But we got them all back with only a few injuries, so don’t worry too much about it.” Dash added quickly and Gilda’s features returned to normal. “And now you’re here and we’re going to have sex before it’s time for us to go to the Gala.” Dash finished with a grin.

“I think I can agree to that.” Gilda said with a grin as she bent down to begin a kiss.

“Damn right you can.” Dash said before she leaned in.

***

Ethan lay in bed half naked, unable to get to sleep. The rapidly fading burns that covered his body still pained him, and he could still feel the dragon’s fire eating away at him. Behind that was the deep ache that he’d been carrying with him since Lamplight. He shook his head in an effort to chase away the memories of their scarred faces staring at him. Unfortunately, that allowed older memories to surface that he hadn’t thought about for a long time; memories of his old home in the Vault, memories of Amata. Ethan frowned, he’d let go of his grief over the event a long time ago but it resurfaced from time to time for reasons that still eluded him.

A knock at the door interrupted his thoughts. Ethan thought about not answering it. It was most likely Twilight come to have another talk with him. He sighed. Ethan loved the purple unicorn as a friend and companion, but she just didn’t understand what it meant to lose her home. Then again, it could be Celestia who Ethan was starting to like, he didn’t know why exactly, but despite his original misgivings about the elder alicorn she was beginning to grow on him. Ethan pushed the blanket off of his bare chest and walked over to the door. He waited for a second as he let out a long breath, and then opened the door to find the completely unexpected form of Princess Luna standing there. The dark blue alicorn looked over Ethan and then nodded once.

“Umm, hi. Can I help you Princess?” Ethan asked.

“No, but I think I can help you.” Luna replied with a gentle smile.

“I’m married.” Ethan said, simply causing Luna to chuckle.

“I’m well aware of that.”

“So you’re not here to cheer me up with sex?” Ethan asked.

“Not at all.” Luna replied with a shake of her head.

“Alright, so why are you here?” Ethan asked as he stepped out of the doorway and allowed the alicorn to enter his room. Luna stepped in gracefully, and looked around for a few seconds before she sat down in a chair next to the alicorn sized bed that he been moved into Ethan’s room so that he would have a suitable place to sleep.

“Twilight Sparkle is worried about you.” Luna told Ethan, who nodded.

“I know, but there’s nothing that she can say to me to help.” Ethan replied.

“I agree. My sister’s lover and student may be wise beyond her years, but she has yet really experienced true sorrow.” Luna said with a small frown.

“Your sister helped a bit.” Ethan confided.

“I’m sure she did, Celly is very good at talking to people. She’s had a long time to work on it.” Luna said with a light chuckle.

“Yeah, I’m sure she has.” Ethan agreed before turning to Luna. “So that leaves me wondering why you’re here.”

“I’m here to take a look inside your mind to see if there’s anything that I can help with.” Luna told him. Ethan’s eyes narrowed.

“You want to go poking around inside my head?” He asked her suspiciously.

“Yes, I’d like to see what’s been troubling you, and as good as Tia is she occasionally overlooks things.” Luna said, and Ethan caught the faintest hint of sorrow in her eyes.

“Like when you went insane.” Ethan said.

“Yes… like that.” Luna said with a shake of her head.

“Alright, I’ll let you in my head, although I can’t promise that you’ll enjoy the trip.” He told her. “I haven’t exactly had time to dust.” Ethan added with the ghost of a smile gracing his lips. Luna chuckled.

“Okay then, if you’re ready lay down on your bed and I’ll begin the spell.” Luna told him. Ethan did as she asked, and Luna’s horn began to glow with power, then it was released and both of their worlds vanished.

***

Luna’s eyes opened and she found herself standing in a room whose walls were made of a gray metal that seemed to absorb all the happiness or good cheer. Standing before her was a much younger and far less scarred Ethan. He looked to be about nineteen if Luna’s estimation was right, and he was currently wearing a suit of very fragile looking armour. Hanging from his right hip was a small caliber pistol, and hanging from his left was a police baton. Ethan was currently desperately picking the lock to a room, Luna heard the sound of a woman screaming coming from within.

“Dad, stop it! I don’t know anything!” A terrified female voice shouted

“You will tell me what you know, I’m the Overseer!” A loud male voice shouted back, followed by the sound of a police baton smashing into flesh.

The woman’s voice broke down into incoherent cries of grief and pain that made Luna’s blood boil. The younger Ethan was obviously experiencing the same feelings because instead of taking the time to properly position his bobby pin and instead just forced the lock with the help of his screwdriver. The door slid open to reveal a horrific scene.

A young woman was tied to a swivel chair with several lengths of thick rope. Her right eye was swollen shut and her lip was cracked and bleeding heavily. Tears rolled down her face, blurring with her blood as she wept uncontrollably. There were two men in the room with her; one looked like her with dark skin and greying hair while the other had his face obscured by a mask. They both turned to the face the door in surprise, but Ethan acted before either of them could react. The pistol that he’d somehow managed to draw in the time that it took the door to open and fired twelve times into the faceless guard’s face and chest, causing both to practically explode as the 10mm rounds tore into them. Then with an almost feral growl Ethan charged forward at a sprint. He tackled the older man, who fell backwards under Ethan’s weight.

Ethan’s fists began to pound into the man’s face while they both shouted, the man in agony and Ethan in vicious anger. The struggle continued on for several minutes as Ethan and the man fought for supremacy. The man finally managed to dislodge Ethan with a knee to the ribs, causing Ethan to roll off of him backwards. The man reached for the gun at his hip with the clear intention of killing Ethan, but just as the man squeezed the trigger Ethan rolled to the side, causing the bullet to shear into the floor.

Luna watched in detached horror as the scene played out before her. She knew that Ethan must survive this encounter, but he looked far too young to be forced into a battle to the death like the one that was playing out before her eyes. Out of the corner of her eye she noticed that the woman tied to the chair was watching the battle with a look of horror stretching across her face.

Ethan drew his police baton and charged at the old man with a look much like that of a cornered animal on his face. The pistol went off twice and Ethan’s left arm let out two bursts of blood as it fell loosely to his side as Ethan let out a shout of pain. Luckily, Ethan was carrying the baton in his right hand and as he fought through the pain his baton collided with the other man’s wrist with a bone shattering crack. The pistol fell to the ground as the man howled in pain and Ethan followed it up by slamming his baton against the other man’s forehead. There was a meaty sound and the other man stiffened before he fell to the ground but Ethan didn’t stop. He continued to brutalize the now still corpse until he realized that the man was dead.

Then sound returned and Luna suddenly realized that it had been gone for the duration of the fight, aside from the sounds of the weapons as they’d fired and hit. Ethan staggered back to his feet and stumbled over to the woman tied to the chair, who was regarding him with something akin to abject terror. Ethan’s hands quickly undid the bindings, and he tried to pull her into a hug. The woman however, had different ideas and she squirmed out of his grasp.

“Ethan you, you just killed my…” She stuttered, backing away from Ethan uncertainly.

“I, I had to rescue you Amata, they were torturing you!” Ethan told her desperately.

“That didn’t mean that you had to kill him!” She shouted back as a fresh wave of tears rolled down her face.

“But Amata, he was going to kill you!” Ethan shouted as he stepped forward.

“He was just trying to find you; this is all you and your father’s fault!” She shouted while she pushed him away in disgust. Then she did something that truly made both Ethan and Luna flinch, she took a small golden band off of her ring finger and threw it at him. The engagement band bounced off of Ethan’s forehead with a hollow sound as Amata fled from the room. Ethan sank to his knees and began to weep softly as the body of the Overseer cooled beside him. After several minutes, Ethan staggered back to his feet and headed towards another office.

***

The scene faded and Luna found herself looking at a slightly more mature version of Ethan. The man was dressed in a suit of combat armor that had a clover in the background and two crossed sabers in the foreground. He was carrying an odd gun that looked like the plasma rifle that Twilight had brought back from the Wasteland, but there were some slight modifications easily visible. His rifle was currently pointed at the head of an unpleasant looking man wearing a baseball cap.

“Listen here you little shit, we don’t need the wasteland so you can just go fuck yourself and get the hell out of my goddamned Vault!” The man shouted.

“Mack, you have to stop this. If you don’t you’ll destroy the Vault and everyone in it!” Ethan shouted back.

“You think you’re hot shit now that you’ve got all those toys dontca?” Mack asked with a sneer. “Well, let me tell you something you little bastard, you’re still as big of a nothing as you were when you left this Vault and you always will be!”

“Please Mack; I don’t want to have to kill you.” Ethan begged softly.

“Ha, you kill me?” Mack asked with an even wider sneer. “Kid, the day I get killed by a little shit smear like you is the day that sunshine and rainbows save the fucking day.” With that the man reached for an assault rifle slung across his shoulder. Ethan acted quickly and fired a single shot from his plasma rifle. It splashed into the man’s chest, and in an instant the man was no longer a human being, instead he was reduced to a boiling puddle of goo. Ethan stared at the puddle for a few seconds before saying.

“Dammit, dammit, dammit! Why did that have to happen now?” He asked no one in particular.

“Oh my god, you killed him!” The voice was familiar to Luna and she turned to see Amata standing in the doorway. “I told you not to kill him!” She shouted.

“Amata I-” Ethan began but the woman cut him off.

“I don’t care Ethan, get out of my Vault!” The woman shouted. Ethan looked at her and then stormed past her and out of the office as tears began to flow down his face.

***

Luna was snapped back to reality by Ethan’s hot tears rolling over her coat. She looked around blearily and found that she had somehow migrated during the spell so that she was lying beside Ethan on the bed and that he’d wrapped his arms around her neck and pulled her close. Luna leaned back into the embrace as she felt her own tears beginning to fall. The memories had also imparted Ethan’s feelings and knowledge of the events displayed into her mind as she’d watched and she knew the full extent of the man’s pain and his overwhelming sense of betrayal. Luna wrapped her wings around the man, surrounding him in her comforting dark feathers, shielding him from the light of the room.

“I’m so sorry Ethan.” Luna murmured softly.

“Dammit, I got over this years ago. I don’t know why it’s coming up now.” Ethan groaned as he buried his head in her neck.

“Perhaps it was your exposure to the dragon’s fire?” Luna suggested.

“That’s a part of it, that’s definitely a part. But I feel as if something is… making me remember and focus on these things.” Ethan said with a shake of his head. “Something is messing with my brain Luna.” He added softly.

“I detect no dark presence around you Ethan, well besides your own dark impulses but those are well subdued.” Luna told him reassuringly.

“Then why the hell is this happening now?” He demanded as he withdrew his head from her embrace and was once more exposed to the sunlight of the room.

“It might just be that you’re getting old Ethan. The older you get the harder it is to repress trauma like what happened to you, especially if you never really got over it to begin with.” Luna told him but Ethan snorted.

“I’m a little over thirty Luna, that’s hardly old. Even where I come from people usually live till their sixties.” He told her, but Luna just narrowed her eyes.

“I don’t know then Ethan, I may be several thousand years old but I’m not all knowing. That’s Tia’s shtick.” Luna said with a sigh.

“Thanks for trying Luna.” Ethan told the alicorn who nodded. Then he did something unexpected. He leaned in and pulled her into a tight hug. “And thanks for understanding.”

“Ethan, you’re not the only one who has made mistakes.” Luna said softly.

“Yes but until now I was the only one who really understood my mistakes.” Ethan told her with a sigh. “I guess I should probably go find Sparky, she’ll probably want me to do something.” He added.

“I believe that she was going to see Rarity about getting you a suit to wear for the Gala.” Luna replied.

“Thanks Luna, I’ll see you around.” Ethan replied before he headed towards the door.

Luna waited until he was gone to let out a nervous breath that she’d been holding in; she had recognized a dark signature wafting around him. It wasn't inside him, thank Faust, but it was still there if you looked. It was a magical signature as familiar to her as her own. It was the signature of the same parasite that had inhabited her body and forced her to commit untold atrocities. The Nightmare was back, and it was affecting Ethan.

Chapter 15

View Online

Edited by the ever awsome TacoTown

Chapter 15

Music welled up from the palace ballroom as Ethan walked towards it in his new suit. Rarity had been working on it since he’d left; apparently she hadn’t forgotten about the Gala like everyone else. It was a very formal looking tuxedo that had been seamlessly reinforced with a strong layer of steel beneath the fabric, which somehow managed to look natural while still offering a good deal of protection. Twilight walked next to him wearing a simple blue dress that matched her purple fur nicely, along with a thin golden tiara that sat between her ears.

“Ethan, just out of curiosity, how many weapons are you hiding in there?” Twilight asked the man striding beside her.

“My wife’s pistol and her blue knife.” Ethan replied with a shrug. “How about you?” He asked.

“The plasma defender.” Twilight told him with a matching shrug.

“Expecting trouble are we?” Ethan asked with a tiny smirk.

“Ethan, we’re about to wade into a dance full of political bullshit. Of course I brought a gun.” Twilight replied with a chuckle.

“Well then we should get in there already, no reason to keep them waiting.” Ethan told her as he pushed open the door to the ballroom.

The room was absolutely filled with ponies. There were earth ponies, pegasi, and unicorns everywhere the eye could see. To Ethan’s surprise there also two slightly larger horses in the room, dressed in odd regalia. A few dozen griffins and several hippogriffs also milled around the room. The hippogriffs looked awkward and formal while the griffins looked like they were enjoying themselves, although they mostly seemed to be hanging around the refreshments table drinking wine…

On a slightly raised podium in the center of the room a band was playing background music; Ethan’s ears detected a piano, a cello, a lyre, and several other instruments, but he quickly switched his gaze to another part of the room. Sitting at the high table that dominated one end of room were Princesses Celestia, Luna, and Cadence. Shining Armor sat next his wife, looking extremely bored. Ambassador Sharp also sat at the high table, but Ambassador Nymira was elsewhere, talking to a white headed griffin who was standing near Rainbow Dash. Ethan whistled slightly, this blew any party that he’d been to out of the water.

“So what do we do now Sparky?” Ethan asked the unicorn, who shrugged.

“Honestly Ethan, I normally get a little drunk and spend the rest of the night leaning against Celestia, unfortunately I don’t think that that’ll be an option tonight.” Twilight told him with a slight scowl.

“I guess not. Well, let’s go socialize, eh?” Ethan asked with a smile.

“Might as well.” Twilight agreed with a nod. They set off through the crowd of dancing and socializing, which mostly gave them a wide berth, and headed towards the two griffins who were talking with Rainbow Dash.

“I’ve got to say Gilda, you certainly know how to pick a good looking mare to life bond with.” Nymira was telling the other griffin.

“Thanks Aunt N, Dash is great.” Gilda replied with a smile as she bumped the pegasus with her hips.

“Although I’m not sure how we’re going to get an heir to the throne if you’re a lesbian…” Nymira said, trailing off.

“It’s not like there isn’t magic to help if we need it. Besides, threesomes work well.” Gilda replied with a shrug. “As long as you’re fine with it Dash.” The griffin added.

“It’s cool, just keep whoever it is away from me while they do their part and I’ll be fine.” Dash replied with a shrug. Ethan looked at Twilight, who shook her head; this was a conversation that they didn’t want to be involved in. Ethan nodded and they set off again, this time aiming for the high table. On the way up to the table they were intercepted by a handsome stallion wearing a tuxedo and a thin white mare.

“So you’re the stallion who’s been causing so much commotion among the nobles.” The stallion said while his eyes ran over the man.

“Yeah, that’s me, Ethan Smith. Do you have a problem with me?” Ethan asked; his eyes narrowed suspiciously.

“Not at all. Frankly, I find the majority of my fellows deplorable. Besides, you’re wearing some of lady Rarity’s work and are friends with Miss Sparkle. If they’ve decided that you’re a good stallion then who am I to question it?” The stallion replied with an easy smile.

“Oh, alright then; it’s a pleasure to meet you mister…” Ethan said, returning the smile while offering his hand to shake.

“Fancypants. And this is my wife, Fleur De Lis.” Fancypants replied with a nod toward the other unicorn, who smiled while he shook Ethan’s hand.

“Charmed.” Fleur said while she flashed Ethan a quick smile.

“Anyways, I just came over to tell you that if I were you I would be watching my back. Several of my more… unscrupulous associates among the nobility would like to be rid of you.” Fancypants told Ethan in a quiet voice.

“They’re welcome to try. Trust me, I know how to defend myself.” Ethan replied while keeping his tone neutral.

“I believe that you do Mister Smith. However, I thought that I would pass on the warning all the same.” Fancypants told him with a weary sigh.

“Well thank you for looking out for me Mister Fancypants, I appreciate it. Oh, and call me Ethan.” Ethan told the unicorn honestly.

“My pleasure Ethan. Also, call me Fancypants. I’m called mister quite enough as it is.” Fancypants replied with a light chuckle that broke up the dark mood that had settled over the small group. While they’d been talking, Twilight had engaged Fleur in a conversation about how typically boring the Gala was turning out to be.

“Every year it’s the same thing. I honestly wonder why I bother to show up sometimes.” Fleur said with a shake of her head.

“My dear, in this case boring is better than exciting, if only because it means that we aren’t being attacked by changelings, or angry woodland creatures.” Fancypants told his wife before Twilight could reply.

“I suppose that’s true. Still, I’d love for something interesting to happen.” The white unicorn said with a shake of her head.

“Yes, well, we should probably be going, snobs to socialize with and elitists to entertain and all that.” Fancypants said, giving Ethan and Twilight a smile. “Just remember to watch yourself Ethan, the nobility is notorious for being extremely vicious towards those who they feel impose upon their right to be “noble”.” Fancypants told Ethan.

“Thanks again Fancypants, I’ll watch my back.” Ethan said, giving the unicorn a nod. Fancypants and Fleur walked away, leaving Twilight and Ethan behind with an air of worry about them.

“Sparky, was he warning me or threatening me?” Ethan asked.

“Warning, definitely warning.” Twilight replied “Fancypants and Fleur are some of the few nobles who’re actually worth being called noble. Fancypants himself is extremely smart, and although Fleur doesn’t have much going on in her head, she’s still a good pony.” Twilight answered.

“So let me see here. We’ve got a probable war on our hands, a group who sent a brainwashed assassin to kidnap the prince, and I’ve got nobles gunning for me. Why is it that everywhere I go everyone wants to kill me Sparky?” Ethan asked.

“Because you generally disregard the rules and act like an ass to most people, all the while expecting them to like you regardless.” Twilight answered frankly.

“That was supposed to be rhetorical Sparky.” Ethan told her somewhat indignantly.

“I know; I’m just fucking with you.” Twilight told him with a grin, causing Ethan to roll his eyes.

“My god, you’ve copied a bit of my sense of humor. Everyone, run for your lives, she’s a maniac!” Ethan mock shouted with a grin, earning several odd looks from ponies around him. Twilight simply raised an eyebrow as her robotic eye’s blue light narrowed and shot into the man’s eye. “Ow, cut it out Sparky I still need this thing, unlike you.” Ethan told Twilight as he blinked spots out of his eye.

“Ethan, I can and will throw you off a cliff.” Twilight reminded him as they threaded their way through the crowd.

“And Sparky I’ll grab you and bring you with me.” Ethan told her.

“You think that I can’t move you without moving myself?” Twilight asked him.

“I think that anyone would have trouble using complex magic while their opponent stopped time the second that their horn began to glow.” Ethan replied with a smirk.

“I can stop time too Ethan, and I can do it without my Pipboy.” Twilight told him sweetly. “Oh, and I learned a nifty bit of magic before you got here, let me know if you ever want to know what it’s like to be a ten year old again, followed by a fifty year old.” Twilight replied, keeping her voice sweet.

“You can change my age?” Ethan asked with a perplexed look on his face.

“For a few hours. It wears off after that.” Twilight replied smoothly as she weaved around a group of dancing nobles.

“Damn Sparky, magic is scary stuff; I mean with that kind of spell you could kill hundreds of people in a few seconds.” Ethan said with a frown.

“I doubt it. The spell is extremely advanced and even Celestia and Luna combined could only use it on more than ten or eleven ponies at the same time for more than a few seconds. I could probably keep you as a ten year old for around four hours, but any longer would probably kill me.” She explained with a shrug.

“Would I retain my abilities and memories?” Ethan asked contemplatively.

“Memories yes, as for abilities I couldn’t tell you.” Twilight told him. “Why?” She asked suspiciously.

“Just something to keep in mind Sparky. Besides, I’m sure Cassandra and I will make good use of that when we’re older and-”

“Ethan if you finish that thought I’ll turn you into a baby and throw you off the cliff like they used to do in ancient Spurta.” Twilight told him.

“Fine, have it your way Sparky. By the way, we have company.” Ethan told her. Twilight looked up to see one of the horses that he’d seen when he’d entered the room walking determinedly towards them.

“Hello there.” The slim brown horse said in a deeply accented voice with a smile once he’d gotten within speaking range. “I am Ambassador Achoowie from Saddle Arabia.” He added, giving them a small bow.

“Gesundheit.” Ethan replied with a grin.

“Hello again Ambassador, I believe we’ve met before.” Twilight said while shooting Ethan an annoyed glance.

“Ah yes, the unicorn who truly wowed my wife and I with her talent at juggling small animals.” The stallion agreed with a chuckle that caused Twilight’s face to redden. “Oh, and please do not use that joke on me, I’ve heard it before.” He told Ethan.

“I figured, but it’s better to ask for forgiveness then to beg permission, not that I do either all that often.” Ethan told the horse, who snorted with laughter.

“I like you sir, if Equestria had more members of its society like yourself then I would agree to more of the tariffs that your monarch tries to thrust upon us.” The stallion said with another chuckle.

“Well if you would accept our tariffs then we’d be able to supply you with the food that you need to make sure that your people are well fed and happy.” Twilight told him.

“And if we were to do that than we would become dependent on Equestria, I think not.” Achoowie replied with the kind of smile that told Ethan that he’d heard this particular argument many times beforehand, or beforehoof depending on species…

“Not dependent, we’d become real allies instead of political rivals.” Twilight told him stubbornly refusing to give up the argument.

“And our alliance would end with your little ponies spreading across our great desert and needing our protection while you stripped the land bare of sand so that you could get at our massive supplies of gold and silver. Then you would leave us with nothing, it has happened before.” The stallion shot back.

“You can’t blame us for what happened with the dogs, we weren’t even aware that they were living here when we got to Equestria!” Twilight said in frustration. “Also, why would we want to deprive your people of all their wealth?” Twilight added.

“Epona only knows, for I surely do not. However, I find the possibility far too disturbingly high for me to agree to any type that has been broached by an animal juggler.” The horse told Twilight, who began to fume angrily.

“I am Celestia’s star pupil, tutored for years in the arts of the arcane mysteries that would leave your mind blank and send your subconscious fleeing in terror! I can lift an Ursa Minor with my magic; I defeated Nightmare Moon, Discord, and King Sombra, along with several others whose names I never learned. I can KILL you with my BRAIN!” Twilight all but shouted at the ambassador.

“Emotional self-control was apparently not included in your tutoring.” The stallion told her with a sly grin.

“I-I… screw you.” Twilight told the stallion, who smiled innocently down at her.

“I’m sorry, but I’m already married; besides you’re not tall enough for my tastes.” Achoowie said with a smirk.

“Wow Sparky, he just owned your purple ass.” Ethan told Twilight with a grin; she slammed her metal hoof right into his kneecap causing him to wince in pain, but he kept his grin.

“I appreciate your praise my friend.” Achoowie said, giving Ethan a smile. “Oh, and I never did catch your name.” Achoowie added.

“Ethan Smith, aka the Lone Wanderer, aka That Crazy Son of A Bitch.” Ethan replied with a small flourish of his hands and a bow.

“Impressive titles to be sure, but I am left wondering, what is your profession?” Achoowie asked curiously.

“My wife and I like to think of each other as civilian contractors working for the greater good.” Ethan said aloofly.

“Ah, so you’re a mercenary.” The stallion said with a nod.

“Civilian Contractor.” Ethan corrected, while putting extra emphasis on the words. “Mercenaries are red shirts who’ll work for anyone if the price is right. Trust me I’d know. I’ve killed hundreds of them…” Ethan said before trailing off and shrugging. “Besides, I usually don’t ask for a fee and neither does my wife. Well, actually she usually asks for a gun or new toy, but aside from that we don’t ask for much, so I prefer the term Paladin of Great Justice.” Ethan told the horse with a large grin.

“My friend, strangely I find myself having a hard time believing that you are a paladin, you appear to lack the moral prerogative that typically plagues their type.” Achoowie told Ethan.

“Well I do what I can; hell, I’m here to keep the two birds from killing each other and trapping Equestria in the middle.” Ethan replied with a shrug.

“Ah, a noble goal I’m sure.” The stallion said with a nod.

“You don’t think so?” Ethan asked, narrowing his eyes.

“What I believe is that if two species are so dead set on killing each other than no third party should step in between them.” Achoowie said simply.

“But they’ll wage war in Equestria and ruin it.” Ethan countered.

“Hardly, they have two gods ruling over them. My own people have only our lady Epona, who is only the goddess of horses so while swift, fierce, and beautiful as the desert under a full moon, capable of taking on the goddesses of the moon and the sun would be suicidal. The griffins and the hippogriffs have not a single god among them, only kings. To be frank, the Cats have a more powerful goddess in Bast, the goddess of cats and shadows, than either of them.” Achoowie told Ethan before pausing for breath. “The only reason that the griffins and the hippogriffs haven’t wiped each other out to the last chick is because those two won’t let them do it without an excuse.” He continued while throwing his mane backwards in the direction of the high table. “Typical Equestria, shoving its muzzle where it’s not needed.” He added.

“Alright, I’ve had just about all of you that I can take for tonight, go away!” Twilight said, finally breaking her silence.

“I suppose that I can indulge the juggler her wish, if only because I’ve grown rather hungry.” The horse said with a chuckle before he began to walk away with his tail twitching with amusement.

“I hate that smug asshole.” Twilight growled.

“And here I missed that completely, I thought you were friends.” Ethan told her with a chuckle.

“I’m serious Ethan; he’s an absolute unrepentant bastard who knows exactly how to twist history to his own needs, and uses anything that you’ve ever done against you.” Twilight continued while she scowled.

“What was that he mentioned about you juggling animals?” Ethan asked with a smile.

“Something that was much less impressive then I’d planned it to be because I had to spend all day fighting Trixie and I couldn’t muster enough power to transform them all into phoenixes, so I had to settle with what could in laymen’s terms be called juggling.” Twilight grumbled.

“So in other words instead of doing something actually impressive you ended up being a complete dud?” Ethan asked with a smirk. Instead of answering his question, Twilight slammed his knee again with her metal leg but he took it in stride.

“The worst thing about him is that he knows which of my buttons to push to get me really angry.” Twilight continued, ignoring Ethan’s question completely.

“You know, that’s the first time I’ve ever heard that expression in a non-sexual way.” Ethan told her with a chuckle.

“Why do I bother trying to have serious conversations with you?” Twilight asked the man with a groan.

“Because thanks to our time in the wasteland you’ve become distant from most of your friends and the only ones who really understand you are Sunny, Luna, and me.” Ethan told her with a straight face. Twilight turned to stare at him incredulously.

“But-” Twilight began, but Ethan cut her off.

“Fucking with ya.” Ethan told her.

“Ha ha.” Twilight said dryly.

“Consider it payback for earlier.” Ethan said with a smirk.

“Speaking of earlier… did Luna talk to you?” Twilight asked the man as they weaved towards the high table.

“Yes she did.” Ethan said, his face was calm and controlled.

“And how did that go?” Twilight asked.

“It made me think there’s something wrong with me.” Ethan told her with a slight grimace.

“What do you mean Ethan?” Twilight asked.

“I mean I had a minor mental breakdown over something that I thought that I moved past years ago.” Ethan said grimly.

“So it wasn’t about the kids?” Twilight asked.

“No it wasn’t.” Ethan replied. “I wouldn’t be worried about it if it was. Like you and Sunny said, it’s only natural to feel awful about that. But this; hell Sparky, I don’t remember Amata ever being like that. I mean, the way I remember it she just gave me back the ring and told me to go. We parted on as good of terms as were possible for the situation. What I saw with Luna was completely different from what happened.” Ethan said with a scowl. “I mean, yeah, I killed the bastard, but it wasn’t nearly that hard, not to mention I don’t remember her being that badly hurt.”

“What are you saying Ethan?” Twilight asked.

“I’m saying that something is fucking with my head.” Ethan replied grimly.

“What did Luna tell you?” Twilight asked.

“She denied it verbally, but her body stiffened.” Ethan told her.

“Are you telling me that Luna lied to you?” Twilight asked.

“I’m telling you that she’s holding something back.” Ethan replied. They were forced to cut their conversation short because they’d finally made it up to the high table. He gave a short bow to Ambassador Sharp, who nodded deeply before going back to the large steak set on the table before him, causing Ethan to chuckle lightly.

“You certainly clean up nicely.” Cadence told Ethan with a smile, making him turn to her as they walked up towards their chairs.

“Thanks, by the way Sparky and I are going to go looking for whoever took your son tomorrow.” Ethan told her

“Really? That’s great news!” Cadence said with a large smile.

“We are?” Twilight asked in surprise.

“Yep, soon as breakfast is over.” Ethan told her.

“Why?” Celestia asked curiously as Ethan and Twilight came to sit down next to her.

“Because a stallion by the name of Fancypants, who Twilight assures me is on the up and up, told me that the nobility around here weren’t too happy about my involvement here. As in he warned me that they were going to try something soon, and honestly Sunny I’d prefer not to splatter their heads against the walls of wherever they’re going to try to take and then get rid of me.” Ethan told her simply, with a shrug.

“Fancypants told you this?” Celestia asked through slightly narrowed eyes.

“Yep, I’m bringing my knife with me when I go to sleep tonight.” Ethan told her as he reached for a glass of wine. Twilight moved it out of his reach with her magic and passed him some punch instead. He rolled his eyes but accepted it anyways without further comment.

“Tia, I’ve been telling you four years now that we needed to do something about the aristocracy around here, they’re far to spoiled.” Luna told her sister. “And if they’re talking about assaulting one of our guests… Well, do you remember the Purge of Paris Tia? Because I do, and excluding the beheading of the queen, poor cake eating idiot that she was, I’d say that it really caused a remarkably large number of improvements." Luna told her sister, who rolled her eyes.

“Lulu, you were on the moon when that short idiot Nastallion tried to take over the entire world, it wasn’t very fun let me tell you.” Celestia told her sister primly.

“But it sounds amazing from the history books that I read; you even got that group of dragons to help you. What were their names again?” Luna asked her sister.

“The leader was Jonathan, who Ethan met, and three were Laurence, Tem, and Izy.” Celestia replied with a smile. “I miss them, so every once in a while I go for a group visit and get involved in arguments about math and which form of government is best.” Celestia continued with a hint of nostalgia entering her voice.

“Wait a second. My dad made sure that I learned my prewar history and you’re telling me that not only is there a country named France here, but it also killed its nobles and then tried to take over the world while being led by a warmonger with an ego problem?” Ethan asked.

“It happened in your dimension too?” Luna asked.

“Yes… he ended up getting his ass kicked, and then he came back, and then got his ass kicked a final time, and I can’t remember what happened then but I think he got trapped on an island or something.” Ethan told her.

“Odd, Jonathan ate our version, said he could’ve used more ketchup.” Celestia replied.

“Ethan, if you and Twily are heading out tomorrow, then I’m going with you.” Shining told them.

“That’s alright with me, what about you Sparky?” Ethan asked the unicorn beside him.

“Works for me, Shiny knows what he’s doing.” Twilight replied easily.

“Absolutely not.” Ethan turned his head in surprise; he’d expected to hear that from Cadence. Instead it had come from Celestia herself.

“But Princess-” Shining protested.

“No buts Shining Armor, you are the Captain of both divisions of the Equestrian Guard and at the moment we could be at war on the drop of a bit. You cannot leave.” Celestia explained calmly.

“I can send one of my men with them if it would make you feel better.” Ambassador Sharp put in, but Ethan shook his head.

“Sorry Sharp, but I’m only taking people who I know and trust on this.” Ethan told him “No offense to your soldiers of course.” He added.

“Of course, I understand.” Sharp replied with a quick nod.

“So what do we do now?” Ethan asked Twilight.

“We sit here, talk, and hope that nothing goes wrong.”

***

Kane stood next to Silent Storm, who was looking around the ballroom with extreme interest. The cat was now dressed in the silver raiment of the Lunar Guard. The silver chest guard was constricting, and armor encasing his shoulders also irked him. On the bright side he’d been allowed to keep his cloak, knife, and he’d even gotten his grappling hook back.

“This is the first Gala that I haven’t had to be here as a guard and I can’t wait to see what happens! This’ll be so awesome, I bet that some pretty mare will ask me out and then we’ll fall madly in love!” Silent told him with a grin.

“I hate to burst your bubble Silent, but I doubt that any of these high-class asshats would look at you twice.” Kane replied with a shrug.

“Yeah, you’re probably right. Oh well, no sense in not trying to get laid, I mean, come on. Mares love a stallion in uniform, right?” Silent asked with a grin.

“Kid, I’ve got to say that I love your attitude. So want to grab a bite to eat and then cruise the food table looking for chicks?” Kane asked his partner.

“Hell yeah man, this is going to be great, and by that I mean this is going to be the best night ever!” Silent told Kane, who chuckled at the younger guard’s enthusiasm. He reminded Kane of one of his younger brothers who had taken up stealing from the sea based merchants. Hopefully Silent would avoid having his hoof cut off.

As they made their way towards the buffet table, Kane noticed an extremely tall biped walking towards the high table in the company of Twilight Sparkle. They seemed to be having an argument, and although he was too far away to tell for sure the biped seemed to be winning.

“Who’s that?” Kane asked his partner, while he jerked his thumb in the biped’s direction.

“Oh that’s Ethan, he’s really cool; apparently he comes from another dimension where everyone kills each other all the time and they blew up their civilization with some mushrooms, but he’s a force of good or something like that and tries to only kill people who deserve it.” Silent explained.

“Well that would explain the knife that he’s hiding in his sleeve, oh and the pistol in his chest pocket.” Kane replied.

“Oh yeah, that thing. It’s really powerful; I saw him when he was shooting targets, and let me tell you it’s also really scary how fast and accurately he can shoot it.” Silent said with a nod.

“Interesting… So I’ve been to a few of these things before, and I’d like to know if they’re as boring when you’re on the ground as they when you’re hanging from the ceiling.” Kane asked Silent, who shrugged.

“It depends, sometimes absolutely nothing happens, but sometimes things go boom or we get invaded by animals and there was that one time we got attacked by giant spiders!” Silent told him with a chuckle.

“Did anyone die?” Kane asked.

“Nope, just lots of spider gore.” Silent replied.

“Do I even want to know how giant spiders were able to attack the Gala?” Kane asked.

“Nope. Anyways, things could be boring or interesting depending on the way that things go, and we don’t know the way things are going to go yet so it’s all up in the air right now until something actually happens.” Silent told him.

“What’re the odds of something interesting happening?” Kane asked.

“Low, even with all the diplomatic tension I’m sure no one will do anything. I mean, this is a party. What could possibly go wrong?”

Chapter 16

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Edited by TacoTown

Chapter 16

Silent was suddenly knocked to his knees by a powerful dope-slap delivered by Kane.

“What the hell did you do that for?” Silent asked in confusion.

“You never say that, ever. No, seriously. You NEVER SAY THAT!” Kane said desperately in a low voice as his eyes scanned the room.

“What do you mean?” Silent asked as he regained his hooves.

“I mean you never ever say that, it’s like asking Bast herself to kick you in the balls!” Kane explained. “When someone says that the ledge that they’re standing on drops out from under them, the enemy archer suddenly gets a lock on them and sends an exploding tracking arrow at them, and the target suddenly smiles at you from your spot in the shadows!” Kane added furtively as his paws reached for the dagger at his side.

“I think you’re overreacting. I mean, this place is full of guardsmen, along with two goddesses. I’d say that we can handle almost any-” Silent was cut off as Kane suddenly grabbed his muzzle and forcibly shut it.

“Be quiet Silent, we need to tell Commander Bluestreak about this now!” Kane told his partner.

“Over a slip of the tongue. Do you really think that we need to do this, or are you fucking with me?” Silent asked.

“I’m completely serious!” Kane replied as he began to weave through the crowd.

“Alright, but if we get in trouble I’m not taking responsibility for wasting the Commander’s time and-” Silent was interrupted by every light in the room going out at the same time. “Oh hell.”

“I fucking told you!” Kane muttered as silence descended.

***

“So Shining, gotten laid recently?” Ethan asked suddenly after a long lull in the conversation. Shining and Cadence sputtered in surprise as Luna chuckled; Celestia simply raised an eyebrow and Twilight shook her head in mock dismay.

“Errm…” Shining said, looking to Cadence who looked just as flabbergasted.

“I’d say that that’s a yes.” Ethan said, giving the two a knowing wink. The room’s lights chose that exact moment to go out. The only light in the room was the light from Twilight’s glowing blue eye. “Well I’d say that things just got a bit more interesting.” Ethan murmured. A nervous silence descended upon the room as those within stiffened as they waited for something to happen. Ethan’s eyes had already adapted to the blackness of the ballroom, and his pistol and knife were already drawn and at the ready. “Can you see anything Sparky?” Ethan asked the unicorn next to him quietly.

“Yes, there’s someone at the windows behind us.” Twilight whispered back.

“Be a doll and let them in would you?” Ethan asked her.

Twilight smirked and turned her magic towards the windows behind the high table. The windows shattered with a similar noise to that of a grenade going off as a blast of magic rammed into them. This wass followed by the sound of high-pitched screaming from below them and deep cursing from behind them. Ethan jumped out of his chair to see several large, cloaked shapes standing in the now empty window panes. He couldn’t seem to see what they looked like beneath the cloaks for some reason, but whatever it was it was big and angry.

“Well now it’s a party, ain’t it.” Ethan asked them with a grin as he raised his pistol.

“Die!” One of the shapes whispered as it launched itself at Ethan, who fell into V.A.T.S. and time froze.

Ethan lined up a perfect headshot and let time return to normal as his gun fired exactly where he wanted it to. The sound of the gun going off caused even more screaming from below and the bullet flew out of the barrel to imbed itself into the cloaked form’s head. To Ethan’s considerable surprise, the cloaked form only stumbled backwards slightly with the velocity of the bullet, before quickly stalking forward.

“Oh sonuvabitch, they’re bullet proof.” Ethan groaned. “Of course they’re bullet proof. Sparky, they’re bulletproof!” Ethan shouted as he drew the knife and prepared to meet the rapidly closing cloaked figure.

The figure leapt at Ethan, who brought up his knife to deliver a hard slash to the figure’s side. The figure’s cloak seemed to deflect his blade and the only thing that affected it was the kinetic energy of the slash. The figure hit the ground with a surprisingly agile roll for something its size, before it launched itself back at Ethan. Time stood still as Ethan fell once more into VATS and took a second to study his opponent. He still couldn’t see anything about the figure’s face, but he could see two sets of extremely sharp claws extended and pointing straight at him. Time returned to normal and the figure darted at Ethan with a screech that would cause a normal pony to wet its proverbal pants in terror. Ethan simply slashed sideways with his knife and began to exchange blows with the figure’s claws.

The rest of the figures had already leapt past Ethan and entered the main ballroom. Twilight was the first to react and she jumped down after them, followed closely by Princess Luna; apparently the loss of light wasn’t doing much to her.

Celestia meanwhile, began to cast a spell but was cut off as one of the figures dived at her, cloak billowing as it came. The white alicorn snorted in annoyance and sent out a beam of pristine white light from her horn. To the Princess’s considerable surprise the beam was absorbed by the cloak with little to no affect. The figure hit the solar princess seconds later and attempted to slash into her with its claws. Celestia however, was having none of that and kicked it off of herself with one powerful golden shod hoof, which sent it flying into Ethan’s line of sight. Without even turning his gaze away from his own target, Ethan’s left hand, which was holding his pistol, snapped out and he fired two shots into the flying form as it tumbled by him. Sadly, his bullets seemed to have about as much effect now as they had earlier, and the cloaked form was simply thrown a few more feet to the side while in midair.

“Dammit, I hate it when they’re bulletproof!” Ethan shouted as his knife swept under the cloaked figure’s guard and once again glanced off of the all-encompassing black cloak.

“Talk less, kill more.” Celestia told him simply as she flew at the figure Ethan was fighting and swept out her hoof in an incredibly powerful kick that sent it soaring into the wall, where it impacted with a slam before falling to the ground. The creature shook itself before regaining its feet.

“Nice kick Sunny.” Ethan told her with a chuckle before ducking under the next figure who leapt at him, claws extended. Ethan’s knife shot up underneath the figure as it passed overhead, but it once again slipped through the black cloak. The figure landed behind him and turned in an attempt to slash Ethan, who ducked underneath the swipe, and tackled the figure sending them both flying onto the table. Food was flung in every direction as Ethan laid into him with his knife and fist. Somehow, the figure was still mostly unharmed and flipped Ethan off of him and throwing him off the table into the crowd; luckily he was caught by Twilight’s magic, otherwise he might’ve hurt somepony when he landed.

“You okay Ethan?” Twilight asked as she ducked underneath a cloaked figure who had been attacking her.

“Just peachy actually.” Ethan replied as he slammed his fist into the face of the figure who had thrown him off of the table and had decided to try leaping at him again. The figure was sent sprawling, but rebounded within seconds and launched himself at Ethan again. Ethan simply dropkicked it away. “Alright Sparky, please tell me you’ve found a way to kill these things because they’re really starting to royally piss me off!” He shouted.

“Actually, they’re starting to royally piss me off.” Luna corrected him as she head-butted her opponent, who was sent stumbling backwards in pain.

“Oh right. Well, I suppose that that’s your prerogative.” Ethan agreed with a chuckle. “So Luna, do you know what these things are?” He added as he stabbed the figure that he’d been fighting in the neck, causing no real damage except for forcing the thing away.

“All I know is that the cloaks that they’re wearing appear to defend against most forms of attack.” Luna replied with an irritated noise as she kicked her foe away again.

“Well I hope we can figure something out soon, these things are driving me nuts.”

***

“Where are you going Kane?” Silent asked Kane as he followed the sleek cat as he dodged and weaved through the hysterical mass of ponies. The cat’s keen night sight allowed him to easily navigate through the chaotic mass, while Silent had the benefit of being a member of the Lunar Guard.

“Despite what you may have heard saying otherwise, Silent assassins aren’t brawlers.” Kane told his partner as he dodged a fat, elderly noble.

“Alright, and that means what exactly. Because right now it looks like we’re running away and that’s not something that Lunar Guards should be doing so what gives?” Silent asked Kane in confusion.

“Assassins don’t have magical powers like controlling rats and walking through walls, we don’t walk into a room of guards and effortlessly killing all of them with counterattacks, and we’re not tyke bombs sent to fight our way through a city until we get to its leader. Assassins make a plan, follow that plan, kill our target from as far away as possible, and then run the fuck away before anyone notices that that’s where we are.” Kane continued without answering Silent’s question.

“So we’re running away?” Silent asked.

“Silent what’s the most common saying about cats that you know?” Kane asked as he sidestepped around a terrified looking Prince Blueblood who was cowering behind several extremely annoyed looking Solar Guards.

“Curiosity kill the-” Silent began and Kane finished speaking with him.

“-Cat. Yes exactly. The problem with that saying is that it’s a bit misleading. It should go; curiosity killed the stupid cat.” Kane told him.

“Okay, so where does that get us; because I’m really confused by this non sequitur.” Silent asked.

“What I’m saying is that I’m not going to charge into a fight where I’ll be decapitated in a single swing of a stray talon on my first night on the job.” Kane replied.

“So what are we doing instead?” Silent asked.

“We’re getting to a better view. As a turtle friend of mine once said ‘the view is always better from the roof’” Kane replied as he took out his grappling hook.

“We’re going to watch outside?” Silent asked.

“Nope, we’re going to watch from the rafters. Unless of course, you’d rather go get slaughtered like those guys.” Kane said with a jerk of his thumb towards a group of Solar Guardsmen who were being savaged by one of the cloaked figures. It didn’t seem like any of them were wounded that badly yet, but they were still losing a lot of blood.

“I’ll just follow you. As long as you have a plan to get us involved and we aren’t just running away, because then we’d get in trouble for abandoning our brothers.” Silent replied with a shake of his red mane. Kane nodded and quickly aimed his grappling hook towards one of the larger beams running across the ceiling. He pressed the trigger and the grapple shot out, pulling the cat behind it. Kane landed on the beam with a front flip and turned to survey the chaos down below.

***

Twilight was facing two of the cloaked figures at the same time. One moved quickly at her left while the other charged head on. Twilight’s purple magic shot out, forming a thick shield for that the figure charging her smashed into head first. Twilight winced as the impact shot through her system, almost making her stagger long enough for the figure on the left to slash her head off. Luckily Shining Armor leaped out of the darkness and deflected the attack with a shield of his own.

“Shouldn’t you be guarding Cadence?” Twilight asked as the figure who’d hit her shield tried to slice its way through it.

“She’s surrounded by my guardsmen I’m more worried about you out here by yourself.” Shining replied as he sent a concentrated bolt of magic towards the figure he was fighting, which dissipated off of its cloak accomplishing nothing except for making it stumble backwards.

“I’m fine Shining, go protect Cadence!” Twilight told her brother as she leapt away from an incoming claw and responded with a magical shockwave that sent the figure that she was fighting flying away. The purple unicorn pivoted and sent a similar wave at her brother’s opponent, who was likewise thrown away.

“I’m not leaving you alone this time Twily, you need me.” Shining told her as the figure who Twilight had sent flying soared back at them with an unearthly screech.

“Shining, I’m not even sure how you’re fighting right now thanks to all the darkness.” Twilight told him as she deflected the cloaked figure to the side with a quick shield.

“Training Twily, lots and lots of training.” Shining replied as he ducked underneath a claw swing.

“Sparky, you okay?” Ethan called as he ran by and kicked the figure fighting Shining in the face sending it tumbling over backwards.

“I’m fine Ethan.” Twilight replied with a shrug as she sent out another wave of magic that caught one of figures chasing Ethan in the stomach, sending it to its knees. Ethan sent it stumbling backwards with a punch to the face.

“You know Sparky, I’m a little underwhelmed here.” Ethan commented as he dodged to the side of one of the figures.

“What do you mean Ethan?” Twilight asked as she batted a figure away with a blast of magic.

“I mean these guys were interesting for around ten minutes, after that they became annoying and predictable.” Ethan replied as a figure lunged out of the darkness at him and he simply kicked it away with a powerful roundhouse.

“Now that you mention it, they seem more like distractions than anything else.” Twilight agreed.

“The question is; what are they distracting us from?” Ethan said with a scowl.

“I-I don’t know, they seem to be going after us and the Princesses…” Twilight said with a frown.

“I may have noticed that.” Ethan told her dryly.

“But they aren’t really going after the crowd except for a few of the guards which doesn’t make much sense if this is an attack.” Twilight added as she sent a beam of purple magic into the figure charging her sending it staggering away.

“So where does that get us?” Ethan asked as he dodged a claw swipe and slammed his fist into the figure’s chest.

“Well they aren’t after us, they’re not after Celestia or Luna, they aren’t after the civilians, so that leaves… Shit, they’re after the ambassadors!” Twilight shouted, a look of horror passed between the two as the full importance of what Twilight had just said passed between them.

"Oh we're boned."

Christmas Special

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AN: I know that it's a few days early but I figure no one minds.
This is currently non cannon and it takes place after the main story of Light Wanderings, however there will be no spoilers or references to the end of the story so read without caution. Also this is primarily comedy so don't take it to seriously.

Edited by TacoTown

Christmas Special

“So Sparky, what do you want to do?” Ethan asked Twilight.

They were sitting on one of the couches in Celestia’s royal suite. Ethan had his arm wrapped around the unicorn’s side in a gesture of friendly relaxation. The unicorn, for her part, was enjoying the occasion to use her friend as a pillow as she leaned into him. Ethan was enjoying a little time off from the Wasteland, and Twilight had decided that they should do something special together; it was Hearth’s Warming Eve after all.

“I don’t know Ethan. I mean, you already saw my incredible acting skills today and Celestia gave you an aerial tour of the city.” Twilight replied. “And you slapped her ass with a riding crop…” she added, and gave Ethan an annoyed glare that caused him to wiggle his eyebrows at her. “I just can’t think of anything else that would interest you.” Twilight finished with a shrug.

“We could torture Blueblood.” Ethan said thoughtfully

“Yes, but that gets old eventually.” Twilight said with a sigh.

“You know, I could bring Cassandra here with the Twins and we could show them around.” Ethan suggested with a smile as he thought of his wife and children.

“Didn’t you say that she was busy with a negotiation of some kind?” Twilight asked.

“Oh right, fucking NCR.” Ethan said with a scowl; his voice was dismissive and carried none of the venom that it might’ve had if he’d been talking about the remnants of the Legion.

“Yes, them.” Twilight said with a slight giggle at his tone.

“It’s no laughing matter Sparky, they called me an alien!” Ethan told her with a scowl.

“Ethan, I’m almost positive that they meant it in the nicest terms possible, they were just describing how you weren’t a native of the NCR.” Twilight told him with a chuckle.

“Then they need a new term, calling me an alien is very offensive.” Ethan told her with a huff. They sat in silence for a few minutes before a look of inspiration dawned on Twilight’s face.

“Ethan, I just thought of something that we could do!” Twilight told him excitedly.

“Oh, what’s that Sparky?” Ethan asked her.

“Well… I do have a surprise to show you. I wasn’t going to show it to you until tomorrow, but seeing as we’re out of things to do… Would you like to see it early?” She asked him with a wide grin.

“Hmm… I don’t know. Where is it Sparky?” Ethan asked her thoughtfully.

“It’s not that far, we won’t have to leave the city.” Twilight replied.

“Alright, sounds good to me Sparky.” Ethan said with a grin.

“Okay, close your eyes.” Twilight commanded.

“Sparky, we’ve been over this. I’m already married, and I’m not into ponies, although if I was you’d be at the top of my list. Well, behind Luna. She’s got a sexy, sexy ass.” Ethan told her with a smirk.

“By Celestia, you’re impossible!” Twilight said with a roll of her eyes as her horn began to glow.

“Oh you know you love it.” Ethan teased before bopping her on the nose with his forefinger.

“Either that or I’m too used to it to notice at this point, in which case I should probably seek out medical help.” Twilight replied dismissively as her horn’s glowing got even brighter.

“I’ve been known to act as a therapist, maybe I could help.” Ethan told her honestly with a grin. Twilight didn’t bother responding, and instead released the spell, causing them both to vanish.

Applejack walked into the room a few seconds later and looked around for Twilight before she let out a sigh when she discovered that her friend was gone.

“Dangit, she’s not here girls.” Applejack reported over her shoulder to the other ponies in the hallway. There was a collective sigh of sadness from behind her and Pinkie stepped into the room followed by Rarity, Fluttershy, and Rainbow Dash.

“Gah, I wanted to spend time with her for once!” Dash said in an annoyed tone.

“I know what you mean darling. I like Ethan, but whenever he comes Twilight just ignores us and spends all her time with him instead.” Rarity agreed with a pout.

“Yeah, it’s always Ethan this and Ethan that. I mean, it’s Hearth’s Warming Eve for Celestia’s sake and instead of spending it with us she’s off running around with that guy!” Dash said, obviously outraged.

“Honestly, you’d almost think that they were out on a…” Rarity said trailing off “No… they couldn’t be!” She added with wide eyes.

“Um, sugarcube? Ah think ya lost us.” Applejack informed the white unicorn.

“Isn’t obvious?” Rarity asked them.

“Isn’t what obvious?” Fluttershy asked quietly.

“Well darling, they’re obviously having an affair!” Rarity mock whispered the last word, her eyes shining with the light of a million gossip papers on fire as she contemplated it.

“Umm, Rarity? Ah don’t think that Twilight would cheat on Celestia. Not only does that not make a lick of sense, but ain’t Ethan married?” Applejack asked Rarity, who shrugged.

“I think he might’ve mentioned it, but have you ever seen him with the woman?” Rarity asked her friends.

“Ohh me, pick me!” Pinkie shouted as she bounced up and down excitedly.

“Yes Pinkie, do you have something to add?” Rarity asked nodding to the pink ball of energy.

“Oh no, I was just trying to distract you so that I could do this.” Pinkie replied with a grin.

“This what dear?” Rarity asked.

“Pie!” Pinkie suddenly shouted, causing Rarity to duck instinctively. Nothing happened.

“Was there supposed to be a pie?” Rarity asked Pinkie, who shook her head.

“Nope, I just wanted to have a nice non sequitur moment to spice up the syntax with a bit of humor.” Pinkie replied with a wink.

“Pinkie, you’re so random.” Dash said with a shake of her head.

“Right… Well back to the point, Ethan and Twilight are obviously having an affair!” Rarity said, getting back to her original topic.

“So what should we do about it?” Dash asked.

“Oh, we should throw them a secret affair party!” Pinkie said excitedly.

“Pinkie, do you even know what an affair is?” Rarity asked her pink friend.

“Well, according to my synonyms list it’s a matter, issue, or concern.” Pinkie replied with a grin.

“Pinkie, it means that they’re cheating on their respective special someponies!” Rarity mock whispered.

“Oh, that’s not good.” Pinkie said as her mane deflated.

“No, it’s not good at all.” Rarity agreed.

“So what do we do now?” Dash asked.

“Now we set out to discover evidence!” Rarity exclaimed.

“Rarity, ah swear to ya. If yall’re right about this, and ah really doubt that ya are, then ah’ll eat ma hat.” Applejack told Rarity firmly.

“Well then I hope you brought salt.” Rarity replied.

“Um, girls? Why don’t we-” Fluttershy began but was interrupted mid-sentence by Dash.

“Fluttershy’s right. Why don’t we go and find them already so that we can find evidence?” Dash asked, stealing Fluttershy’s words.

“But I-” The yellow mare protested.

“Want to go now? Relax Fluttershy, we need to make a plan first.” Dash told her friend with a comforting pat on the shoulder. Applejack and Fluttershy exchanged a glance. Applejack rolled her eyes and silently shook her head; it wasn’t worth it.

“The big problem is that we don’t know where they are.” Dash told Rarity.

“You’re right darling; on the bright side I should be able to track them via magic.” Rarity replied with a grin.

“Well why didn’t you say so?” Dash asked, throwing her hooves above her head in annoyance.

“I just did.” Rarity said with a smirk.

“Oh, yeah, right…” Dash said with an embarrassed chuckle. Rarity’s horn began to glow and she closed her eyes in concentration. She opened them a few seconds later with a smile.

“I’ve got them. Now we go and see for ourselves.” Rarity said.

“Fine, whatever; you girls do what ya want, but ah’ll be havin’ nothing to with this.” Applejack told them.

“Me too, I just don’t think that Twilight would do something awful like that.” Fluttershy told the other three quietly.

“Alright, but when you’re wrong you’ll be eating your hat Applejack darling.” Rarity told Applejack, who rolled her eyes.

“Okay dokey loki, let’s go!” Pinkie told Dash and Rarity.

“Just follow me girls, and we’ll catch them.” Rarity told the other two, who filed out of the room after her.

“Ah just don’t get it, why does Rarity want to prove this so badly?” Applejack asked Fluttershy.

“I don’t know.” Fluttershy replied softly with a shake of her head.

“Having a good time standing around my room are we?” Celestia asked with a chuckle from behind them s,tartling the two ponies.

“Oh, hey there Princess… how long have ya been standing there?” Applejack asked Celestia nervously.

“Long enough to know that Rarity’s suspicion is complete nonsense.” Celestia said with a shake of her head.

“Well of course it is; Twilight would never betray you like that.” Fluttershy said softly.

“Oh I know Fluttershy; I think the others are just jealous of all the time that Twilight spends with Ethan.” Celestia told them with a sigh. “Honestly, I would be too if I didn’t know how much they meant to each other.” She added.

“What do you mean Princess? Ah know that Ethan kept her safe and well fed but ah still don’t get why she likes him so much.” Applejack said with a grumble.

“It’s because they risked their lives for one another under terrible conditions.” Celestia replied.

“But so have we, and she doesn’t treat us the same way as she does him.” Applejack argued.

“He was there when she first killed someone Applejack, that’s very different from anything that she’s done with you girls.” Celestia told Applejack.

“Oh, shoot. Princess we’ve fought gods and won ah don’t see a difference.” Applejack replied.

“I can’t really explain it Applejack. Just trust me when I tell you that you mean just as much to Twilight as you always have. It’s just that Ethan means just as much, but in a different way.” Celestia explained.

“Alright Princess, um… we’ll leave you alone now.” Applejack said.

“Happy Hearth’s Warming Eve you two. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have a book to read.” Celestia told them with a smile.

“You too Princess.” Applejack and Fluttershy said before they headed for the door.

“What now?” Fluttershy asked.

“Ah suppose we wait for the gang to get back emptyhoofed.” Applejack replied with a shake of her head.

***

The world came back into existence and Ethan looked around interestedly. They were standing on top of an incredibly steep hill that had to be at least a mile high; how Ethan hadn’t noticed it before he had no idea, and on the ground next to them was a large red sled.

“Umm… Sparky, what is this?” Ethan asked.

“Well, remember how I always threatened to throw you off the mountain?” Twilight asked him.

“Mhm.” Ethan replied with a nod.

“Well I got to thinking; why don’t I.” She said with a grin.

“You mean in the sled, right?” Ethan asked her worriedly.

“Duh.” Twilight replied with a grin.

“Fuck yes!” Ethan said with a smile as he jumped onto the sled and laid down, it was a large wooden toboggan with stainless steel treads and a body made out of red painted wood.

“I hope you don’t mind me ridding on top.” Twilight added as she jumped onto his back and lay down.

“Heh, I’m used to being ridden by women.” Ethan told her with a chuckle. Twilight rolled her eyes and magically pushed them towards the lip of the hill.

“Are you sure it’s safe to do this while it’s dark?” Ethan asked as they neared the edge.

“Yes, I talked to Tia about the possibility and she said that it was fine.” Twilight replied.

“Where are we by the way?” Ethan added.

“Canterlot Central Park.” Twilight told him. “Now hang on Ethan!” She shouted as she gave them one final magical push and sent them over the edge of the huge hill.

Falling snow flashed past Ethan’s face as they rushed down the slope and he let out a loud laugh of joy that Twilight joined in. Twilight used a bit of magic to turn them slightly to avoid a large tree that had loomed up out of nowhere, causing Ethan to shout in surprise. They were heading for a large snow bank and with a little quick thinking Twilight formed it into a ramp. The toboggan sped off the ramp and into the air a few seconds later, gaining several feet of air time before landing again with a light thump.

“This is awesome!” Ethan shouted back to Twilight as they maneuvered around another tree.

“I know! I been doing this with Tia every year since I was made her student!” Twilight shouted back as they shot over another ramp and she let out an excited shriek.

“It sure beats all hell out of what happens when it snows in the wasteland!” Ethan agreed once they’d landed.

“What happens?” Twilight asked.

“They starve to death.” Ethan replied.

“Why did I ask?” Twilight asked with a shake of her head.

“I don’t know, I think it’s becau- TREE!” Ethan suddenly shouted.

Twilight looked up in time to see a large tree looming right in front of them. With a tiny shriek Twilight teleported them in front of the tree, minus the toboggan, which crashed into the tree. Ethan and Twilight were sent rolling down the hill, clutching each other for dear life.

“Dammit Sparky!” Ethan shouted as he hit the back of his head on a rock.

“Don’t blame me, you’re the one who was distracting me!” Twilight shouted back as they rolled over a patch of ice and were sent sliding several feet before they hit snow again.

“Are we almost at the bottom?” Ethan asked Twilight as they were thrown into the air by a ramp that someone had left lying out in the snow.

“I can’t tell!” Twilight replied before her head was forced under the snow and then just as quickly rose as Ethan’s was sent under.

“You know, once you get past the cold and the rocks this is actually pretty fun.” Ethan commented once his head had risen again.

“Why do you think I haven’t stopped us yet?” Twilight asked him with a smirk.

“Oh, good point.” He replied with a chuckle.

It took them another ten minutes to get to the bottom of the hill, and by that time they were both red-faced from the cold. Ethan’s duster and Twilight’s coat were covered in snow, dirt, leaves, sticks, and soaking wet from all the melted snow.

“Wow Sparky, is that what it’s like to have sex with a unicorn?” Ethan asked her with a grin. Twilight groaned.

“No, it’s much better than that.” She replied with a smirk.

“Heh, I’ll bet it is.” Ethan agreed with a chuckle as he slapped her on the rump causing her to shoot him a dirty look. “Anyways, what now?” he asked her.

“I’m feeling like hot chocolate, what about you?” Twilight asked him.

“Never had it.” Ethan replied with a shrug.

“Oh, then we’re definitely going for hot chocolate. I know this great little place. It’s really old and it feels like Starswirl the Bearded could just walk in and order something.” She told him with a grin.

“Sounds good to me.” Ethan told her with a matching smile.

***

“Did you see that? He slapped her flank!” Dash exclaimed from where she and Rarity had been observing their friend and Ethan. Pinkie had gotten bored and gone back to the castle already.

“I know, I saw it Dash. Oh by Celestia I was right!” Rarity exclaimed in horror. “This! Is! The! Worst! Possible! Thing!” She added, falling backwards into her fainting couch.

“But Twi wouldn’t, I mean, but…” Dash trailed off.

“I was only looking for something to do; I didn’t really think that she was cheating on Celestia with the brute!” Rarity exclaimed.

“Rarity, what are we going to do now? I mean this is horrible; how could she?” Dash asked.

“I-I don’t know darling, I guess that we might as well keep following them and make sure that we’re not mistaken…” Rarity said before trailing off.

“Yeah, yeah you’re right. This is probably just a misunderstanding, that’s all.” Dash said with a shake of her head.

“Whatever the case may be we need to keep following them.” Rarity replied after taking a few moments to collect her thoughts.

***

Ethan and Twilight walked down the stairs of the café, taking them below street level and into the basement of one of the small clothing shops that littered the Canterlot streets. The clock on the wall above the door read 9 o’clock. Twilight turned the doorknob with a small stream of purple magic before she slowly pushed the door open. The heady smell of pipe smoke assaulted his nose immediately, but Ethan found that it quickly faded into the background after the smell of good food overwhelmed it.

“Ladies first.” Twilight told Ethan with a smirk.

“Well you’re certainly no lady Sparky.” Ethan replied. “But you do have a certain set of equipment that I lack, so that probably means that you go first.” He added with a wink.

Twilight rolled her eyes and entered the establishment first, followed closely by Ethan. The walls were made of some rich dark wood and the floor was made of a matching, if more worn, wood. Thirteen columns were set around the room in a large circle, and three tables were grouped around them. Each table had four chairs, except for one that mysteriously had only three. There were also fourteen booths for the patrons who didn’t want to sit at those tables. Most of the tables were occupied, and Ethan spotted the cellist Octavia and the DJ Vinyl Scratch in attendance. He received a nod from the former and a wide grin from the latter. He also noticed a walleyed grey pegasus and a brown earth pony, who was giving him the oddest look that Ethan had ever been on the receiving end of, and that was saying something. A circular bar made of polyurethaned mahogany sat directly in the center of the circle of columns, and there was an old grey unicorn working it.

Twilight sauntered up to the bar, followed by Ethan. The grey stallion turned to regard their grubby attire with a critical eye for a few seconds as if to decide whether or not to kick their asses to the curve. Then with a shake of his head the grey stallion smiled at Twilight.

“It’s been a while since you’d last been here Miss Sparkle, thought you’d died.” He told her with smile.

“I’m hard to kill Regi.” Twilight replied with a chuckle.

“Oh, so now you’re stealing my lines.” Ethan said with a sigh. “You know Sparky, you really should try and be more original.” He added.

“Ah, and you must be the Crazy Son of a Bitch that Twilight here has been telling me about.” Regi replied with a chuckle.

“I go by many names, but yes that’s one of them.” Ethan told the stallion with a grin.

“Well it’s nice to finally meet the one who saved fatty’s bacon.” Regi told Ethan with a wink.

“I’m not fat!” Twilight protested.

“I don’t know Sparky, your rump certainly jiggles a lot when you walk.” Ethan put in.

“You didn’t mention it when I was on top of you earlier.” Twilight shot back.

“Well then I was enjoying myself to much to care.” Ethan replied before tweeking her snout with his thumb and forefinger. Meanwhile, Regi regarded them with a smirk that Twilight noticed.

“It’s not what it sounds like… we were on a sled.” She protested. Regi just raised an eyebrow.

“Trust me; I’m not into mares of any kind.” Ethan told Regi who began to smirk even wider.

“You’re an idiot.” Twilight told him as she facehoofed.

“What I mean is I’m not into pony women, they’ve got no breasts.” Ethan explained.

“Well technically, we do.” Twilight said turning to him.

“You call those things breasts?” Ethan asked, pointing to Twilight underside.

“Well they aren’t dicks, so yes I call them breasts.” Twilight replied.

“Your stallions don’t know the horrible fate that they’re suffering.” Ethan told her with a solemn shake of his head.

“As much fun as it is to listen to you two yap; why don’t you place your orders and find a table?” Regi suggested with an amused grin at the two’s antics.

“Um, right. Sorry Regi.” Twilight said as a blush spread across her face.

“I don’t mind that much.” The grey stallion replied as he began to do the thing that barkeeps all over the universe did, he pulled out a dirty beer mug and began to clean it with an equally dirty rag.

“We’ll have two hot chocolates, the special ones. The Crazy Son of a Bitch will be having a cinnamon roll and I’ll have two of the chocolate chip scones.” Twilight told Regi, who nodded.

“I’ll send down the order and it’ll be out in around ten minutes.” Regi replied.

“Thanks Regi.” Twilight told the grey stallion with a smile.

“Twilight, you’ve been eating here on and off for twenty years and you got Celestia addicted to my sweet rolls. I should be thanking you.” Regi replied with a chuckle before turning away from her and tapping the ground a few times. Twilight nodded to Ethan and led him towards a corner booth.

“I’m going to assume that you two know each other.” Ethan said with a chuckle as they sat down in the booth.

“Oh, I’ve been coming here for years ever since I saw the grand opening sign on a walk home with Celestia, and all but dragged her in here to buy me hot chocolate.” Twilight said with a nostalgic sigh and a shake of her head. “I jumped around in a circle repeating the word yes…”

“I’ll bet she hears a lot more of that word from you then she used to.” Ethan said with a smirk. “Either that or HARDER OH YES LICK ME HARDER!” He added, somehow managing to shout while making it impossible for anyone not sitting at the table to hear him; it must’ve been an acquired ability. Twilight glared at him pointedly.

“I do not say that.” She told him.

“Oh really?” Ethan asked her.

“Yes, really you idiot.” Twilight replied.

“So then what do you say while she gently massages your aching-” Ethan began but he was interrupted by Twilight’s leg slamming into his knee.

“Ethan, I don’t ask you about what sounds you make while Cassandra fucks you so I’d like you to return the favor.” She told him as he rubbed his knee with his right hand.

“Oh that’s easy Sparky. I say; oh god yes you beautiful sexy woman you, oh please fuck me harder!” He replied while he shifted his face to one of intense pleasure.

“Impossible, you’re impossible.” Twilight groaned as her head hit the table with a quiet thunk.

“You keep using that word Sparky; I’m not sure it means what you think it means.” Ethan told her with a chuckle.

“Ethan, you’re the one who’s confused by the word alien.” Twilight reminded him.

“Bastards, absolute bastards.” Ethan replied with conviction causing Twilight to roll her eyes. “By the way Sparky, do you know why that brown stallion keeps staring at me?” Ethan asked with a nod towards the stallion who they’d seen when they entered the restaurant. Twilight peered over his shoulder and saw the stallion, who was indeed staring at Ethan.

“Nope, he’s probably just from one of the smaller towns and this is his first time in Canterlot, so he’s never seen anything as odd looking as you before.” Twilight replied with a shrug.

“Alright then; so when does the food get here?” Ethan asked.

“Right about-” Twilight began as the food randomly appeared on the table before them. “-Now.” She finished with a grin.

A large, steaming, cinnamon roll covered in a copious amount of cream-cheese based icing sat on a plate in front of Ethan along with a tall mug of a chocolate colored drink topped with whipped cream and chocolate shavings, sitting on top of all that was a bright red cherry. Two equally hot looking scones flecked with chocolate chips appeared on a plate in front of Twilight, along with a matching cup of hot chocolate. A pair of forks and knives appeared in front of both of them to the side of the plates.

“Wow, should I ask how that happened?” Ethan asked Twilight, who shook her head.

“Consider it magic.” She replied with a smirk before she grabbed her fork and knife with her magic and began to cut herself off a piece of the right scone.

“So, um, Sparky? How do I eat this?” He asked as he looked at the cinnamon roll.

“Cut off a piece and chew it for a few seconds before you take a sip of the chocolate. Trust me, you’ll love it.” Twilight replied with a grin.

“I always trust you Sparky.” Ethan replied with a grin before he stuck a bite of the cinnamon roll into his mouth. His eyes began to water and tears poured down his face. “Sparky, this-this is…” He was so overwhelmed by the flavor that he lost the ability to talk.

“Now take a sip of the chocolate.” Twilight told him, and Ethan rapidly complied, getting whipped cream on his lips in the process.

“It’s like a goddess is having an orgasm in my mouth.” Ethan whispered.

“Tell me about it.” Twilight replied with a smirk.

“Oh, I’m sure you know what that’s like.” Ethan agreed with a grin before he did something unexpected, he leaned over the table and gave Twilight a foam-covered kiss on the cheek. Twilight pushed him away with an embarrassed look on her face and began to wipe the foam off her cheek.

“What was that for?” She asked once she’d removed the foam.

“It was a thank you for taking me sledding and giving me this food of the gods.” Ethan replied with a smile as he took another bite of pastry.

“Hey, what’re fire forged friends for if they can’t give each other advice on food and jump off mountains together on a rickety toboggan?” Twilight asked him with a grin causing Ethan to chuckle.

“Good point Sparky; anyways, that was my way of saying thanks for an awesome and fun evening.” He told her with a smile.

“Any time Ethan, any time at all.” Twilight replied with a small smile.

“Alright, less talking more eating.” He told her with a wink. They both dug in and finished in around ten minutes. Twilight left some bits on the table and they made for the door; on the way out Twilight turned and waved at Regi, who nodded before getting back to cleaning the same glass with the same rag.

“So where to now?” Ethan asked Twilight.

“Have you ever been ice-skating?” Twilight asked him.

“No…” Ethan replied.

“Oh, you’ll love it.” She told him with a wink.

“Why do I have the oddest feeling that you just want to see me fall on my ass?” Ethan asked.

***

Rainbow Dash and Rarity, who were both wearing disguises, stared across at each other from their booth.

“He-he kissed her!” Dash whispered furtively.

“Oh my, it’s worse than we thought!” Rarity replied.

“We-we have to keep following them, we’ve got to be sure!” Dash said.

“Yes, I feel rather ill though. To think that our Twilight is cheating on Celestia with that… that ragamuffin!” Rarity said angrily.

“I know what you mean.” Dash agreed with a scowl.

“Well then we must be off if we’re going to keep up.” Rarity said with a shake of her head as she rose from her seat and plopped a few bits on the table.

“Yeah, let’s go.” Dash said.

***

Twilight and Ethan waked down the street towards a large open air skating rink, Ethan wasn’t sure why he’d never seen the thing before, but supposed that with a city as big as Canterlot is was easy to miss stuff even during an aerial tour. Ponies were moving gracefully over a magically repairing sheet of crystal clear ice, spinning and gliding here and there like dancers. Faster skaters wearing hockey skates zoomed in and out of the others, dodging aside and occasionally under the slower skaters who did their best to ignore them. Twilight walked up to the counter where a teenaged unicorn stallion was working.

“Hi, I’d like a pair of size eight precision edges for me and a pair of size 25 newbies for him. He only needs two.” She told the stallion, who began to dig out the requested skates and tossed them to Twilight with magic. Twilight deftly caught them and tossed him a few bits before taking all six pairs of skates and leading Ethan towards a bench.

“Sparky, I’m not so sure about this…” Ethan told her as he looked at the ice apprehensively.

“Are you scared Ethan?” Twilight asked in mock concern as a smirk settled across her face.

“I’m not scared Sparky, it takes more than a sheet of ice to scare me, I’m just worried about looking like a moron.” Ethan replied.

“When do you not look like a moron?” Twilight asked him with a smirk.

“That’s by choice Sparky, this is different.” Ethan told her with a huff as she began to lace her own skates.

“Look Ethan, everyone sucks at first. I fell flat on my face although I’m guessing that you’ll be falling on your ass more than your face judging by you anatomy.” Twilight told him frankly.

“H. u. r. r. a. y.” Ethan said slowly enunciating every letter.

“That’s the attitude I was looking for.” Twilight told him happily. “Now do you need me to tie your skates for you or can you do it without me?” she asked sweetly.

“I’m dunking you in snow.” Ethan informed her as he bent down and began to tie the skates.

“You want to get them really tight, but not too tight.” Twilight added helpfully.

“Thanks mom.” Ethan said, rolling his eyes.

“Of course sweetie.” Twilight said with a grin.

“Alright let’s do this.” Ethan said rising to his feet, he’d actually managed to tie the skates tight enough so that they didn’t shake around his ankles. A look of concentration crossed his face as he took his first step towards the ice; he managed not to faceplant. “Okay, this isn’t so bad…” Ethan said as he took another step forward. Twilight trotted along beside him with a grin on her face as she watched him take ponderously slow steps towards the ice. It took him around a minute to cover the distance, at which point he’d begun to master the walking style.

“Are you ready for this Ethan?” Twilight asked him.

“In the words of my wife; when about to try something extremely unfamiliar to you always lead with your face and be prepared to land on your ass.” Ethan replied, stepping fully onto the ice and taking a forward step. He promptly fell on his ass, causing Twilight to giggle. “Like I said, be prepared to fall on your ass.” Ethan told her as he shuffled to his feet.

He stood there wobbling for a few seconds, and then took another step forward. This time he managed to stay on his feet, and a few minutes later he was already taking his first real strides around the rink while Twilight watched on in amazement at his progress.

“Ethan, how did you get so good so fast?” Twilight asked as the man began to quickly glide across the rink while she skated along beside him.

“I don’t know Sparky, I’m just goo-” Ethan was interrupted mid-sentence as he tried to dodge around an elderly couple and slammed face first into the ice. “Okay, I’m not that good.” Ethan muttered as he regained his feet and rubbed his nose.

“Are you alright dearie?” The elderly mare asked in concern.

“I’m fine; trust me, I’ve had much worse.” Ethan told her, she nodded and skated off leaving Ethan and Twilight to cruise along. “So Sparky, was there a reason that we’re here, or did you just want to watch me fall on my ass?” he asked her.

“A little of Column A and a little of Column B.” Twilight replied with a grin.

“So there is a reason then. What is it?” Ethan asked.

“We’re being followed by two of my friends and I want to know why.” Twilight replied.

“And us skating will help us do this how?” Ethan asked as he narrowly avoided another faceplant.

“See the unicorn in the big hat and the pegasus wearing goggles over there?” Twilight asked with a nearly invisible nod of her head towards a pair of mares.

“Yeah, I see them.” Ethan replied.

“That’s Rarity and Rainbow Dash under a magical disguise; how she thought I wouldn’t notice it I have no idea.” Twilight said. “Anyways, we’re going to skate in that direction and then you’re going to accidentally fall on them, which should disrupt the spell.”

“And we’re doing this why exactly?” Ethan asked as they began to skate towards the unicorn and pegasus, who were doing a remarkable job of not looking at them.

“Because I want to know why my friends are spying on me.” Twilight hissed.

“Ah yes I can see that.” Ethan replied. Then he fell directly into the two mares. They flickered for a second before revealing Rainbow Dash and Rarity, who began struggling to their skate shod hooves.

“Rainbow, Rarity, what are you two doing here?” Twilight asked them.

“I could ask you the same thing darling.” Rarity replied severely through narrowed eyes.

“I’m spending time with a friend.” Twilight replied in confusion.

“Oh really, is that all you two were doing?” Dash asked as she flew into the air.

“Um, girls? We should probably move this somewhere where we won’t have to worry about getting hit by speeding ponies.” Ethan put in.

“Shut up, no one was talking to you.” Dash said turning to Ethan.

“You do realize that I could kill you in a few seconds, right?” Ethan asked her but the pegasus just bristled indignantly.

“As if.” She said dismissively. Before the argument could get any farther Twilight’s horn flashed and they appeared off of the ice in front of one of the benches.

“Now that that’s settled let’s get to the point; Rarity, why were you and Dash following us?” Twilight asked her two friends.

“The better question is, Twilight, why are you cheating on Celestia with this monkey!?” Rarity asked angrily.

“What?” Twilight asked flatly.

“We saw him smack your ass earlier, and we saw him kiss you in the restaurant!” Dash added angrily.

“You think that I’m cheating on Celestia, a literal goddess who I’ve known almost all of my life and loved most of that time because she’s the most beautiful, intelligent, and wise pony I’ve ever me... with Ethan.” Twilight asked them flatly.

"Thanks a lot Sparky." Ethan said with a chuckle.

“It’s obvious to everyone Twilight.” Rarity told her acidly.

“I’d never cheat on my wife goddammit!” Ethan told the other two mares angrily. “I have two kids who I fucking love with all my heart, not to mention that my wife means more to me than anyone in in the world! Hell, I’d fight Satan himself with my cock while blindfolded with my hands chained behind my back for her!” Ethan shouted angrily, making Rarity wilt under his verbal assault.

“Then why did you kiss her?!” Rainbow Dash shouted back.

“Because I was letting her know how much it meant to me that she was taking time out of her busy life to spend time with me on one of the few occasions that I don’t have to spend my time constantly fighting for my goddamned life you fucking idiot!” Ethan snarled.

“Not only that, but it was only a kiss on the cheek.” Twilight added, glaring at her two friends.

“Yeah, well, you could’ve fooled me.” Dash grumbled.

“But you slapped her plot!” Rarity exclaimed.

“Yes I did. It’s called teasing where I come from.” Ethan replied.

“Girls; why are you really mad at me?” Twilight asked them.

“What do you mean?” Dash asked.

“Look, I’ve noticed that you and the other girls’ behavior gets really hostile whenever Ethan comes here and I want to know what it is that I do that makes you angry so I can correct it.” Twilight told them.

“It’s just that ever since you went to the Wasteland you seem to not care that we exist!” Dash exclaimed.

“Yes darling, you spend all your time with him and this is a perfect example.” Rarity added. “It’s Hearth’s Warming Eve and you’re out here with him instead of up at the castle with the rest of us.” Rarity told her.

“So… you’re jealous of the time I spend with Ethan?” Twilight asked slowly.

“That’s putting it simply darling, we’re afraid that you’re losing interest in us.” Rarity replied.

“That’s crazy girls!” Twilight exclaimed in annoyance. “I love you all like family, I’d never stop caring about you!” Twilight added.

“Then why the buck are we out here in the middle of the city?!” Dash shouted.

“Because I was trying to make sure that Ethan had a good time!” Twilight replied angrily.

“It’s always Ethan, Ethan, Ethan!” Dash exclaimed. “When was the last time that we did something as friends without you mentioning him Twilight?” She added with narrowed eyes.

“I-” Twilight began but she was cut off by Ethan.

“Twilight, people are staring at us. Not that I particularly mind, but I just thought that you should know.” He said quietly. Twilight looked around to find that almost everyone that wasn’t on the ice, and several that were, were staring at them.

“Look, can we please talk about this back at the castle?” Twilight asked her friends who nodded. “Alright, hold on a sec.” Twilight told them as her horn began to glow.

“Sparky, when did you gain the ability to teleport four people that far?” Ethan asked her.

“The same time that I threw two ten-ton behemoths through the roof of that building.” Twilight replied without batting an eyelash.

“Oh right, that. I’ll just be shutting up now.” Ethan replied right before they vanished.

***

All four of them flashed back into existence inside of the room that the girls had been given to share, startling Applejack, Fluttershy, and Pinkie Pie who had apparently been talking.

“So do ah have ta eat ma hat?” Applejack asked Rarity with a smirk.

“I suppose not, seeing how I’m apparently an idiot.” Rarity said, shooting Ethan a dirty look.

“Like I’ve said before, I’d never cheat on Cassandra; not only do I love her and the Twins too much for that, but god I don’t even want to know what she’d do to me if I did.” Ethan replied. “Besides, Twilight’s behind Luna in terms of attractiveness as far as ponies go, and if I was going to be fucking any of you then it would be her, or maybe Sunny, but she might burn me alive mid orgasm so I’d have to think about it first.” He added with a grin.

“Yes; anyways-” Twilight said with a roll of her eyes “- I wanted to talk to you girls because you seem to think that I don’t care about you anymore.” Twilight told them quietly.

“Ah wouldn’t go that far Twi, ah just think that yall’re always thinking about either him-” Applejack said with a nod towards Ethan. “Or that hell hole he comes from, no offense.” She added with another nod towards the man.

“None taken, although I should probably go and let you girls figure this out without me around to ruin the moment.” He told the group with a chuckle before he got up to leave.

“Ethan, no one’s asking you to leave.” Twilight protested.

“I was.” Dash said under her breath.

“Oh, I know Twilight, but I need to talk to Sunny and Luna about something anyways and I figure I might as well do it now.” He replied with a shrug. Ethan gave an offhand wave as he walked out of the room looking back only long enough to give Twilight a half smile.

“Look girls, I haven’t stopped caring about you.” Twilight said once Ethan was out of room.

“We know that Twi, but ya just haven’t been actin’ like yourself ever since you got back and we’re worried about ya, least ah am.” Applejack told her.

“Yes darling, and then you went on that adventure with him here last year and ever since you’ve been even more distant; it’s almost as if you want to go and live with him in that wasteland he calls a home.” Rarity said with a disapproving frown.

“And you’ve been more violent.” Fluttershy added quietly.

“Have I really?” Twilight asked in confusion, she thought that she’d been acting normal, or as normal as she could be considered at this point.

“I actually haven’t noticed anything.” Pinkie said with a shrug, causing everyone to roll their eyes.

“Yeah, look Twi we just want to make sure that you’re okay.” Rainbow Dash told her.

“Girls, I’m fine. Really.” Twilight told them as levelly as she could.

“Are you, are you really darling?” Rarity asked her critically.

“Yes!” Twilight answered.

“Then prove it.” Dash told her.

“Alright I will, group hug!” Twilight shouted as she reached for her friends with her magic and pulled them into a big hug. The others joined in and soon all six were giggling to themselves as they pushed against each other in a ball of friendship.

“Still worried that I don’t care about you girls anymore?” Twilight asked a little breathlessly once the hug was done.

“Not completely, but you’ve certainly eased my worry somewhat.” Rarity said, the others nodded their agreement.

“Good, so do we have any eggnog? Because I’m dying for some.” Twilight asked.

***

Ethan knocked on the door to the royal suite, which was opened by Luna.

“Oh, hello Ethan.” Luna said with a smile. “I thought that you’d be with Twilight and her friends.” She added.

“They’re having some friendship issues right now and apparently it’s my fault.” Ethan replied with a shrug.

“What did you do?” Luna asked.

“Exist apparently.” Ethan told her with a sigh.

“That seems rather cruel.” Luna observed.

“No no, in this case I know where they’re coming from. It’s Hearth’s Warming Eve; she should be with her best friends, not me.” He said with another sigh. “Besides, I need to get back to Cassandra anyways.” He added.

“Aren’t you her friend?” Luna asked as she got out of his way and ushered him into the room.

“I am, but I don’t exactly fit with the rest.” He told her.

“I see, and you’ve come to Tia and I so that we may send you home?” Luna asked.

“That, and I wanted to ask you two for a gift if it were possible.” Ethan replied.

“I don’t see why not, as long as it doesn’t involve giving you half the kingdom.” Luna replied with a chuckle. “Why don’t you come in and explain your gift idea to Tia and me?” She asked.

“Works for me, it’ll probably take both of you to make it anyways.” Ethan said with a shrug.

“What gift could possibly be so difficult that it needs two goddesses to create?” Luna asked.

“Oh, I’ve got something specific; I don’t really know that much about either of your powers so I’m just guessing that it’ll take both.” Ethan replied.

“Well I’m certainly looking forward to seeing what you want.” Luna told him with a smile as she led the way into the common room where Celestia was sitting in a chair, fiddling with a snow globe absentmindedly as she read a book. When she saw Ethan she looked up with a smile.

“Hello there Ethan.” She said.

“Hey Sunny, whatcha got there?” He asked nodding towards the snow globe.

“Oh, this?” Celestia asked innocently as she sent the snow globe hovering in front of Ethan’s face. The main feature was an ice covered castle, but as he continued to look at into it he saw movement inside the glass and three pairs of icy blue eyes staring angrily at him.

“Umm Celestia? Are you keeping windigos in this?” Ethan asked slowly.

“Mhm.” Celestia replied with a small grin.

“Should I ask why?” Ethan asked.

“It keeps them from causing trouble.” Celestia replied with a shrug.

“But aren’t they living, sentient creatures?” Ethan asked.

“Nope, they’re mindless spirits of chaos.” Celestia told him casually.

“So you just keep them in a snow globe where anyone who wanted to could just come up to and break?” Ethan asked incredulously.

“Faust no! Ethan, this snow globe is protected by an extremely powerful layer of protection spells that would even keep Luna and I busy for a year or so.” Celestia replied with a chuckle.

“Oh, did you make it?”

“No, actually it’s Starswirl’s work.” Luna said from behind him as she walked past to join her sister in another chair.

“Starswirl?” Ethan asked.

“He was my old lover and magical genius; I would’ve made him immortal if he’d have let me.” Luna said with a sigh. “Anyways, I believe that you had a gift request for my sister and I.” Luna said with a smile.

“Oh right! Sorry, I got distracted.” Ethan said with a slightly embarrassed look.

“It’s fine. Honestly, I should probably put this somewhere safer where no one with magic can tamper with it.” Celestia replied with a shrug.

“Hmm… my wife likes snow globes…” Ethan thought out loud.

“Can anyone in your dimension use magic?” Celestia asked curiously.

“Well there’s Obadiah, but he lives in the swamp half a country away from my wife.” Ethan replied “Oh, and he’s too busy keeping the swamp from going stab happy.” Ethan added with a chuckle. Celestia arched an eyebrow at him, and Ethan shrugged. “Your decision entirely of course. Anyways, that’s not why I’m here.”

“I’ll consider it” Celestia told him with a wry grin. “So, what gift do you need both my sister and I’s power to create?” The white alicorn asked.

“Alright, so I’ve been thinking. My wife and I can only see each other every so often because of the amount of time and energy it takes to get from one end of the country to the middle of it. Add to that the fact that I honestly can’t leave the Capital Wasteland for very long unless I want a lot of work to come back to, not to mention the lectures about responsibility that Elder Lyons gives me. Cassandra’s even more important to Vegas then I am to the Capital Wasteland, and can barely take a few days away with one of the factions trying to start a pissing match with one another that could turn into a war if she doesn’t pay close enough attention.” Ethan explained. “Anyways, it’s gotten worse being away from each other ever since the Twins were born and pretty soon they’re going to able to talk and actually remember stuff and I don’t want to miss any of it.” He continued.

“So what is your gift request?” Celestia asked curiously.

“Well I’d like a way to get to and from Vegas instantly, kind of like what Sparky does except on a much bigger scale.” Ethan replied. The two sisters exchanged a look.

“Ethan, do you know how much energy it would take to make a spell capable of that?” Luna asked.

“Not a clue, but I figure that you’re both goddesses so it shouldn’t be that bad.” Ethan replied with a shrug.

“I’m sorry Ethan, but what you’re asking is physically impossible.” Celestia told him.

“I thought it might be.” He said with a sigh.

“Is there anything else that you want?” Celestia asked kindly.

“Hmm… Actually, yeah there is.” Ethan said after taking a few second to think about it. “Would you get Sparky and her friends some gifts for me?” He asked.

“Of course, just make a list and we’ll make sure that they get them, but there’s nothing that you want?” Luna asked.

“Thanks. And nope, I’m good I guess.” Ethan replied. “Honestly, I didn’t even know what Hearth’s Warming Eve was until today so I didn’t exactly make a list ahead of time, although I can probably throw a few things together pretty quickly.” He added with a chuckle.

“Surely there must be something that you want.” Celestia said.

“Peace in the Wasteland where I don’t have to worry about keeping people safe and secure while I’m forced to kill yet another group of raiders who have for some reason decided that it’s a good idea to try and test me.” Ethan answered with a wry smile. “If you could get me that then I’d probably ask Cassandra if we could arrange a threesome.” He added.

“Hmm… I might be able to think of some way to…” Luna began, but Celestia rolled her eyes.

“We’d love to help you Ethan, but that would be overstepping our bounds as local deities.” Celestia said, interrupting her sister.

“That’s fine, I was joking anyways.” Ethan replied with a chuckle.

“So there’s really nothing that you want?” Luna asked.

“Yep, I’m good.” Ethan said. “Besides, I didn’t get you two anything so I consider it fair.” The man said with a shrug.

“Alright, if you feel that way then I guess that there’s nothing left for us to talk about.” Celestia said.

“Yeah, I guess so. Would you mind sending me back to Vegas?” Ethan asked.

“Of course Ethan, it would be my pleasure.” Celestia said as she rose to her hooves. “Oh, and tell your wife to be careful with this.” Celestia added as she levitated the snow globe containing the windigos over to Ethan, who snatched it out of the golden aura with a smile.

“Thanks Sunny, I’m sure Cassie’ll love this.” Ethan said. “I’ll send you a marker that’ll tell you where the gifts are in one of those extra letter holders that I have.” Ethan told her.

“I look forward to seeing it.” Celestia said with a smile before her horn began to glow. Ethan waved once to Luna before Celestia sent him on his way.

“If only there was something that we could’ve gotten him.” Luna muttered.

“I agree, hopefully Twilight has something planned.” Celestia agreed.

***

Ethan flashed noiselessly back into existence right in front of the elevator in Cassandra’s suite. He looked at his pipboy clock, which told him that it was 10 o’clock. Cassandra should still be awake. With a grin, Ethan began looking through the rooms but they were all empty except for the one where Shade and Ash were asleep inside. A small grin touched Ethan’s face as he looked at his children, before he turned away from the room and made his way back into the main room. The elevator door opened and Cassandra stepped out wearing her riot gear, that was currently covered in blood.

“You’re back early.” She said with a smile as Ethan stepped forward to give her a kiss.

“Yeah, things went well for a change. No one tried to kill me.” Ethan replied with a grin once they’d separated again. “How did your meeting go?”

“About as well as usual, Susan and I sat around and drank a little before getting down to business. Then one thing led to another and I was out in the middle of the desert dealing with some Jackals who thought that raiding my Vegas/NCR cooperation venture was a good idea. They won’t be bothering people again; at least I really doubt that they will.” Cassandra replied with a shrug as she walked towards the bedroom and began to strip out of her blood soaked clothing.

“What did you do?” Ethan asked curiously, his wife had always been closer to the neutral side of the karma scale, which meant that she usually didn’t bother to actually kill people. Instead she opted for more…long lasting results.

“Cut off half of their legs and cut off the other half’s arms, along with the normal.” Cassandra replied with a shrug while she began to change underwear. By the normal she meant castration.

“God you’re scary.” Ethan told her with a chuckle.

“Damn right I am.” She said with a wicked grin.

“Anyways, I picked you a little something while I was in Equestria.” Ethan said with a smile as he took the snow globe out of his pocket and tossed it to Cassandra, who caught it easily.

“Ethan, this is beautiful.” Cassandra told him as she gazed into the snow globe’s depths.

“I thought that you’d like it. Oh, and it contains several evil magical beings that’re sealed in it for eternity, so try not to drop it.” Ethan said.

“Well at least the beings are trapped, unlike that damned mask.” Cassandra replied with a slight chuckle. Ethan’s body stiffened for a second at the mention of that particular adventure before he joined his wife in her laughter.

“Yeah, can we please not talk about that?” He asked. Cassandra pulled on a lose fitting shirt before she walked over to him and gave him a kiss.

“Of course, sorry I forgot that you’re still sensitive about that.” She told him.

“It’s fine. I just really, really hate that mask.” He said with a scowl. “By the way, do you happen to have a few boxes? Because I need to do some shipping.” Ethan added.

“Sure, give me a few seconds.” Cassandra replied with a shrug.

“And once that’s done why don’t we take a little time to celebrate?” Ethan asked with a wide grin.

“What’re we celebrating?” Cassandra asked.

“I’d say life, although I suppose love works too, although I’d say that they’re both a little clichéd. Then again neither would mean anything to me without you, so I guess that’s enough for me.” Ethan replied. He didn’t get a chance to say anything else for quite a while.

***

The next morning Twilight and her friends met under the tree and began unwrapping gifts, several of which were marked Ethan’s signature. Twilight got an unopened ‘build your own robot’ kit that Ethan had found while he was scavenging in the wreckage of one of the many robotics factories. Even better, he also sent her a whole box full of deathclaw eggs. Much to her glee, Pinkie got a Rock-It Launcher, along with a detailed set of instructions so that she wouldn’t kill anyone with it by accident. Rainbow Dash unwrapped her gift to find a model vertibird which she thought was pretty cool looking, but kind of lame because it couldn’t fly naturally.

Despite of her current dislike of the man, Rarity had to admit that the gift of a few prewar dresses so that she could compare designs with what humans had been designing and learn few new takes on style was surprisingly thoughtful. Applejack got a new hat made out of deathclaw leather, which she promised to wear the next time she had to tangle with a dragon.

Fluttershy’s package had a few air holes and barking could be heard from within. She opened it to find a female puppy that slightly resembled a German Shepherd, although it was difficult to see after years of breeding. A note attached to a collar around her neck read ‘Dear Fluttershy. This is one of my dog’s puppies, please give her a good home’. Fluttershy was of course extremely happy to do so, although she was worried about Angel’s reaction.

“I have no idea how he managed to get all these things together so fast, I mean he only found out about it yesterday.” Twilight said as she looked up from the manual on robots that she was reading.

“Ah don’t know, but ah gotta say it was mighty nice of him ta do on such short notice.” Applejack replied.

“Um, Twilight? Did we get anything for him?” Fluttershy asked quietly as she petted the puppy who was now snoring next to her.

“Oh yeah, I got him something special.” Twilight replied with a grin.

“What was it? Was it a party? Was it a cannon? Was it a shoulder mounted awesome party cannon?” Pinkie asked.

“Nope, it was something that I thought he’d really like.” Twilight replied.

“What was it?” Dash asked, looking away from her new toy.

“Something that’ll have a deep meaning to him.” Twilight replied.

“Aren’t you going to tell us?” Rarity asked.

“Nope.”

***

“Oh my god. Cassandra! She made me a bobblehead of myself!” Ethan shouted with glee as he pocked the small bobbing head. It was a perfect copy of him, down to the red duster and Novasurge that rode at his hip. It was so detailed that Ethan could trace the individual scars that marked his face, perfectly represented on the bobblehead’s own face. She even got his eyes right!

“It looks just like you.” Cassandra said with a grin.

“Now I just need to find a way to bring it to life and I can have a mini me!” Ethan continued with a giant smile.

“Ethan, I’m pretty sure that the Wasteland would collectively shit itself if that actually happened.” Cassandra said with a chuckle.

“Yeah, it would be great.” The man said, lost in thought.

“Sadly, I doubt that it’s possible.” Cassandra told him.

“Oh well.” Ethan said with a shrug. “So what do you want to do today?” He asked, changing topics.

“Hmm… let’s feed the Twins, and then go kill some assholes.” Cassandra said with a grin.

“That sounds awesome.”

Chapter 17

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Edited by TacoTown

Chapter 17

“Aunt Nymira, why do things always result in violence whenever you’re around?” Gilda asked as she ducked underneath a pegasus guard who was flying to intercept one of the cloaked beings. “Actually, scratch that. Why do we keep sending you out as a diplomat if this kind of thing always happens?”

“Because your father loves me, and the point of half of what I do is inciting violence dear, I’m an ambassador.” Nymira replied cheekily as she tightly gripped a large, round mace that she’d drawn from a satchel that she’d been wearing underneath her formal clothes. The white griffin took the time to slowly twirl the mace between her talons before pressing a small button on the side, causing several large spikes to emerge from within; to Gilda’s considerable surprise she saw a trail of electricity flow across the mace.

“Not that I disapprove, but where in Tartarus did you get that?” Gilda asked.

“You wouldn’t believe me if I told you, but I’ll give you a hint; it wasn’t in the aerie.” Nymira said with a chuckle as she smashed the mace into one of the cloaked figures who had decided to charge her. It was sent flying backwards with a slight squeal as it travelled with the momentum of the swing. “Whiny bastards aren’t they?” Her aunt asked her with a chuckle. Ambassador Sharp chose that moment to appear, wielding a large claymore who’s blade was outlined in flames. Nymira looked at it for a second and then said. “Pocket dimension.”

“Pocket dimension.” Sharp said with a nod.

“Well shit, so you’re sexy and resourceful!” Nymira told him with a grin.

“I despise you.” He replied calmly while his flaming claymore sliced out and sent a cloaked being tumbling sideways to the ground. He then did what every good soldier did when he’d knocked an enemy to the ground, and plunged his sword downward into the figure’s chest. Unfortunately, it just seemed to slide to the side and the figure took the opportunity to take a swipe at the hippogriff. Sharp dodged backwards and turned to deliver a powerful buck from his horse legs.

“Bastards are slimy aren’t they?” Nymira asked from behind while she scanned for threats to Princess Gilda.

“That’s one way to put it I suppose.” Sharp replied with a scowl.

“Nice ass by the way.” Nymira added with a smirk. Sharp somehow managed to wrinkle his beak in disgust, but said nothing else.

“Umm, Aunt Nymira? Could you please stop flirting while there are things trying to kill us? Oh, and can I have a sword or something?” Gilda asked from behind.

“I never stop flirting, oh and here, have a dagger.” Her aunt told her while she offhandedly tossed Gilda a long-bladed knife. “You got through basic, right?” She added as she watched for more of the figures.

“Yeah, of course I did.” Gilda replied haughtily.

“Then run your feathery ass out of here while the sexy hippogriff and I cover you. And stay out of trouble kiddo.” Nymira commanded.

“But I can fight!” Gilda shouted.

“You’re twenty one; I’m your thirty five year old aunt and I outrank you when in a foreign country. And if that wasn’t enough, get out of here now. If you die then your father will literally tear me a new asshole, and I’m pretty attached to the one that I have now so I’d like to avoid that!” Nymira replied as she met one of the cloaked figures with her mace, sending it stumbling to the floor with a muffled shriek. “Oh, and I’d feel awful about it to.” She added. “Now GO!” Gilda took one last look at her aunt before she took wing and headed towards the exit.

“That was surprisingly noble for you.” Sharp commented as he readied his claymore to meet the next rush of cloaked figures who were running towards them.

“Duty comes first Sharpy. ‘Sides, if I’m going to die facing a bunch of clichéd assholes like this then I at least want my niece to get away first. Not only that, but I get to spend the time fighting next to your sexy flank so I call it a win win scenario.” She replied with a chuckle as she hefted her mace, causing sparks of electricity to shoot out.

“Hurmph.” Sharp grumbled in reply with a shake of his head.

One of the cloaked figures neared them, and Nymira leapt forward mace first and delivered a crushing blow that sent the figure to the ground. Of course, it rose right back up a few seconds later, necessitating another blow by the mace that sent it flying away. While she was distracted, another of the figures came up behind her with the full intent of slicing her in half. Sharp’s blade slashed out, slamming into the cloaked figure’s side and sending it stumbling sideways. Nymira returned the favor by pivoting and smashing her mace into a figure who had been about to get the drop on Sharp.

“My thanks.” He told her with a nod before he whirled and sent his blade scything out in an attempt to decapitate a figure to the left, only for his blade to accomplish nothing more than forcing the figure to stumble slightly to the side. Sharp let out an extremely annoyed whinny and bucked the thing in the face, which succeeded in getting it away from him.

“They’re messing with my instincts to.” Nymira said as she spun and delivered a powerful slam of her mace into the face of one of the cloaked figures, sending it sprawling.

“The lack of finishing moves disturbs me as well.” Sharp agreed as his claymore smashed into one of the figure’s stomachs, causing it to bend over in pain before the hippogriff punched it in the face. Suddenly, Ethan burst out of the crowd, followed closely by Twilight Sparkle.

“Oh good, you’re both alive- and where the hell did you two get those?” Ethan asked as he looked at the extremely large weapons in the ambassadors’ talons.

“Pocket dimension.” Nymira replied good-naturedly with a shrug as she backhanded one of the charging figures with her mace.

“Pocket dimension…” Ethan said, trailing off before he turned to look at Twilight.

“Oh no. I know that look and the answer is no!” Twilight told him.

“But Sparky, why not?” Ethan whined as he stepped to the side and allowed one of the cloaked figures to rush past him and into the waiting claymore of Sharp.

“Because Ethan, the last thing that I need is you pulling a missile launcher out of your ass whenever you feel like it!” Twilight replied.

“I didn’t want you to put it in my ass Sparky; can you imagine how inconvenient that would be?” Ethan asked her incredulously.

“We do not have time for this, right now we need to focus on keeping these two safe and us talking about your ass is not going to help.” Twilight told him as levelly as she could while she nodded towards the two ambassadors.

“Honestly Sparky, I thought we were talking about pocket dimensions, you were the one who brought my amazing ass into things.” Ethan replied as he turned in order to dodge a figure’s claw. He then pivoted and slammed the hilt of his blue bladed knife into the figure’s face. “Also, can you please figure out how to get rid of these things? They’re really starting to piss me off.” He asked her hopefully.

“My spells don’t seem to be doing much besides knocking them around.” Twilight replied as she picked up one of the figures in her magic for example and tossed it away towards where Luna was busy fighting. Luna saw the figure coming towards her and turned to deliver a buck that sent it flying out the window.

“Well Sparky, they seem to respond to any form of kinetic energy including that of my bullets, so why don’t we try something with a little more force behind it instead of fancy lights?” He asked her with a grin. Twilight stared at him with her mouth hanging open. “You forgot that I’m smart again, didn’t you Sparky?” Ethan asked her with a chuckle.

“That-that’s a brilliant idea!” She exclaimed.

“I know, and I’m very proud. Now implement my idea with that genius IQ that I know you have and then let’s go get desert.” Ethan replied with a chuckle.

“Umm, what are you to talking about?” Nymira asked.

“It’s actually really obvious, and I can’t believe that I had to have it pointed out to me.” Twilight said with a slight groan as her horn began to glow and the nearest four cloaked figures were caught in her powerful magic grasp.

“You see; I’d noticed earlier that they, the cloaked figures, were unaffected by everything that anyone threw at them. No matter what we did nothing penetrated their cloaks nor did they sustain any physical damage. However, they did seem to be responding to the kinetic force of the blows or spells that they were hit with.” Twilight explained while the four cloaked figures struggled futilely in her grasp.

“I’d been ignoring that last bit until Ethan pointed it out to me. You see they aren’t immune to damage; well actually they are, but that type of damage is the kind of damage that you deliver with the blade of a sword, or at the effect of a magic missile.” Twilight continued.

“We were going about this the wrong way entirely. Instead of focusing on trying to cut, smash, or obliterate them all we really need is to apply the correct type of force.” Twilight finished with a smile.

“In Equestrian please.” Nymira told her.

“To put it simply we just need to hit them with enough kinetic energy to overcome the cloaks.” Twilight replied.

“But what about my mace?” Nymira asked. “This thing can deliver a blow strong enough to cave in the skull of fully grown minotaur, how isn’t that enough kinetic energy?”

“It’s a start, but not good enough. This is an extremely powerful enchantment, and as such requires an extremely powerful and concentrated blast of kinetic energy to break it.” Twilight explained. “Observe.” She added and then with a small frown on her face she picked up a nearby spear that one of the guards had dropped and made it hover in front of one of the figures. “I hope this spear is forged out of good enough steel for this to work.” She added quietly to herself.

Then with a flick faster than the eye could see the spear shot forward and impaled one of the figures in the chest. To the surprise of everyone but Ethan and Twilight the figure was literally torn out of Twilight’s magical grasp and sent flying towards the far wall. It impacted against the wall with enough force to crack the enchanted stones of castle’s wall; the hall suddenly fell silent as everyone turned to stare at the figure lying vertically on the wall. The figure’s chest was torn completely open, black blood and giblets of wet meat covered the floor beneath. Of the spear there was nothing left except for a pile of metal splinters that littered both the now gapping chest wound and the ground beneath it.

“Well, that seemed to work.” Ethan said breaking the silence with a chuckle. “How fast was that going Sparky?” He added.

“Three fourths the speed of sound.” Twilight panted.

“Neat, you up for a few more rounds?” Ethan asked.

“I’ll manage.” Twilight replied.

“Goody, I’ll keep you safe in the meantime.” Ethan replied while he flashed her a quick smile. “Alright folks get back to your screaming and whatnot, Sparky and I are about to save your asses.” He yelled; ponies once more began to shout, Ethan’s pistol went off loudly silencing them. “Actually, scratch that; shut the fuck up and let the lady work in peace and fucking quiet.” He shouted, silencing the room once again. One of the cloaked figures leapt at him and he roundhoused it away. “Sparky, hurry this up; I’m suddenly in the mood to get to sleep and these assholes are keeping me awake.” He said it lightly, but there was a definite edge to his voice. He also didn’t indicate which group of assholes he was talking about…

“Working on it Ethan.” Twilight replied as she scrunched up her face. A few dozen cloaked figures leapt out of the shadows and charged her, half of them were caught in Twilight’s magic as she began to pick up random swords and sent them flying indiscriminately towards walls. The rest were intercepted by an extremely annoyed Ethan along with the two ambassadors. Celestia and Luna exchanged a glance, and then began to mimic the purple unicorn.

The extermination of the cloaked figures took a shockingly short amount of time, ten minutes of heavy yet boring fighting, and then it was over. Twilight was leaning heavily against Ethan, who was supporting her with a calming hand, while Celestia and Luna, who were also tired, began to herd ponies out of the room with the help of the guards.

“You okay Sparky?” Ethan asked.

“I will be, I just need a really, really, really strong drink.” Twilight replied hoarsely.

“Glad to hear it.” Ethan said with a small smile before he turned to the two ambassadors. “That was a good fight you two, thanks for watching my back.” Ethan said with a smile.

“Barely enough to get me winded.” Nymira replied.

“Yes, I can fight for hours on end, this was nothing.” Sharp agreed.

“Hmm, good. Because I have the oddest feeling that we’re not done yet.” Ethan replied.

“Why’s that?” Nymira asked.

“Because this was too easy.” Ethan replied simply.

“Ethan, this wasn’t easy!” Twilight said in aggravation from beside him where she’d all but fallen to the floor in exhaustion.

“Actually, it kinda was for everyone but you Sparky, well you and the few dozen Solar and Lunar Guards who got maimed anyways.” Ethan said.

“So what do you think’s goings to happen next.” Sharp asked interestedly.

A sudden roaring filled the air and a large, bleached white shape leapt through the broken windows. As it moved into the newly established light of the room, (the light was coming from a small, temporary sun that Celestia had set up floating above the center of the room to help in the evacuation attempt) Ethan caught sight of an extremely ugly beast. Its hide was covered in bleached white fur, or at least what Ethan could see of its fur beneath the thick, white, plate armor that covered the majority of it its body, leaving only bits at its elbows and around its face free to see. Speaking of its face, it was truly monstrous, being taken up by four small squinty eyes along with a large pig like nose. An enormous mouth full of mismatched teeth stretched out beneath that nose, and several streaks of drool trailed from within.

It’s probably a good time to mention that the beast was fifteen feet tall and most likely weighed half a ton if not more so, and most of it muscle. In its hands it carried two extremely large metal clubs that looked to be almost as long as Ethan was tall, each was topped with a large spike. The thing roared loudly and the smell of half-digested meat wafted over Ethan like a wave.

“Oh, you have got to be fucking with me.” Ethan said slowly. “Sparky, you wouldn’t happen to know what that thing is would you?” he asked.

“Frost troll. It’s regenerating, pain resistant, fire retardant, animalistic, cannibalistic, and generally bad smelling. They’re only found in the area around the crystal empire, and they're not supposed to be intelligent enough to wear armor. In short, we’re so fucked.” Twilight said, filling him in tiredly.

“Do you have enough juice in you to teleport back to my room and get my actual weapons?” Ethan asked her.

“Just.” Twilight replied.

“Do it, and do it quickly, bring everything.” Ethan instructed. The unicorn vanished in the time it took the troll to take a step forward, and then she reappeared a second latter before passing out on the ground beside him with his bag of gear on her back. “Thanks Twilight.” He said softly as he reached into the bag and began to pull out his tools of the trade.

“How do you want to do this?” Nymira asked him as she readied her mace.

“Stay out of my way, I’ve killed bigger.” Ethan replied simply as he grasped his shock sword. Then he reached into the bag and pulled out his 12.7mm submachine gun. “Alright ugly, let’s dance!” He shouted. The frost troll roared and charged at Ethan.

12.7mm bullets shot out of the submachine gun and riddled the troll’s armor with large holes as inky white blood poured from the wounds. Much to Ethan’s annoyance the troll didn’t seem to notice all that much. Nymira and Sharp exchanged a look; he’d successfully dealt more damage in a matter of seconds then they would’ve been able to in a full half hour…

Ethan dodged around the lumbering troll as his hand easily found another clip for his submachine gun, and rolled to his feet as a stream of lead flowed from the gun. The bullets cut deeply into the troll’s flesh, gauging out large craters of bloody meat. The troll roared again and swung one of its large clubs at Ethan, who rolled to the side.

He wasn’t as lucky with the second club, which caught him in the stomach as he rose to his feet, sending him flying with a dull thunk. Ethan impacted against the wall and fell to the ground already on his feet and ready to return to the fight. He let fly another clip of his 12.7, tearing more holes in the trolls hide which was at this point covered in inky white blood. Then he attached the 12.7 back to his belt and grasped his shock sword with both hands.

“Come here ugly, it’s time to play!” Ethan shouted as he charged straight at the frost troll, who roared a challenge.

Ethan strode towards the beast, quickly gaining speed until he was sprinting, the shock sword was held sideways in one hand. As he neared the troll, it swung one of its large clubs at his head, but Ethan simply ducked underneath the blow and kept going. The other club arced down at him, and Ethan brought up his shock sword to deflect the blow and barely changed his stride as the impact rocked his arm. Then, with a snarl, Ethan leapt forward blade first, and sank it into the troll’s chest. The troll roared as electricity surged through its body, but even with the sword embedded in its chest it punched Ethan in the face, sending the man and sword several feet backwards.

“Is that all you’ve got?” Ethan asked with a grin. “I’ve fought raiders stronger then you!” He added before taking a second to spit a little blood onto the floor.

“Should we help him?” Nymira asked Sharp.

“No, this is his contest of skill. We are unnecessary.” Sharp replied with a shrug. To Ethan’s considerable annoyance, the troll had used the time gained by punching him away to heal its wounds, which had all disappeared.

“Of course you can heal, why wouldn’t you be able to?” He asked the frost troll rhetorically.

Then the man sighed and once more drew his 12.7 and unleashed two whole clips of ammo into the frost troll’s chest, pockmarking it with an intricate set of holes that bled white blood all over the floor. The troll let out a roar and barreled towards Ethan, who stood his ground and poured bullets into the thing’s head destroying two of the troll’s eyes and gauging large holes out the back of its skull. The troll simply regrew the eyes and the holes in the back of its head healed a few seconds later. Ethan let out a groan of annoyance and charged at the beast again.

“Now I know how my enemies feel when I randomly regenerate all the skin on my body.” Ethan said angrily as he nimbly rolled away from the frost troll, who ran into a table and shattered it.

Then the troll did something that made Ethan even angrier it, it threw a table at him. Not one of the small round tables, not even one of the ones where they put buffet platters on. This was one of the large banquet tables made of hard wood. The end of it hit him in the face and sent him flying backwards to the floor with a groan. The troll roared again, but this time it was a mocking roar.

“Alright, fuck this.” Ethan said as he rose back to his feet and drew his 12.7. Then, with practiced ease he slipped into VATS and froze time. He looked over the frost troll for a few seconds before he unfroze time and waved the troll forward. The troll was happy to oblige and charged straight at him.

Then when it was fifteen feet away Ethan slipped back into VATS and used the targeting system to queue every available action point into the troll’s head. Then he released his hold on VATS and time returned to normal as four clips of 12.7 hollow point rounds shot into the troll’s skull in quick succession. The skull exploded in a shower of bones, brains, and icy white blood that soaked the floor. The body of the troll hit the floor with a thud.

Sharp and Nymira stared at the man as he strode towards the downed beast, shock sword in hand. He made a little flourish and spun the blade around by its handle before he stabbed down into the beast’s body right where its heart was located. The troll’s body shuddered once as the wave of electricity washed down its nerve endings and through its veins. Then it was still.

“Alright, I swear to god if that thing-” Ethan began as he turned around to face Sharp and Nymira again. He was cut off by a loud rumbling as the troll pulled itself back to its feet with a roar. Somehow, its head was completely repaired. “Well then, I’m cutting off its goddamned head.” Ethan told the other two with a growl before with a shout of unadulterated rage he charged the troll.

One massive arm smashed down in front of him and Ethan easily hopped onto it. Then, as the troll attempted to scrape him off with the other arm Ethan’s sword lashed out, scouring a deep cut that went all the way through the armor covering the arm and down to the bone beneath. As the troll roared in pain as Ethan continued up its arm until he reached the shoulder. He stood next to the troll’s head as it scanned back and forth in an attempt to find him.

Then with a powerful chop he slashed his blade into the nonexistent neck that connected the head to the body, cleanly slicing all the way through. The head rolled to the ground and the body began to shift unsteadily before it fell to the ground with a slam. Ethan had already jumped forward off of the thing as it began to teeter and was well out of range of the falling troll’s body by the time it hit the ground.

“And stay dead!” Ethan told it. The troll began to regenerate. Ethan let out an incredibly frustrated shout and ran back over to his pack and quickly began to assemble his anti-material rifle. He had it ready by the time that the troll had finished regrowing its head.

“Anti-material rifle, this is the frost troll. Frost troll, this is my anti-material rifle. It fires exploding .50cal rounds. You may be wondering why I’m bothering to explain this to you.” Ethan told the troll as it roared. “Well the answer is that you’re really pissing me off and I feel like you ought to know what killed you.” Ethan answered.

The troll roared and charged, but Ethan was more than ready. His first shot hit the monster in the right kneecap, where its armor was significantly weaker then everywhere else. The kneecap exploded in a shower of bone and white blood. His second shot, which was fired mere seconds after the first, slammed into the left kneecap with a similar result. His third shot raced towards the beast’s right arm, shattering it in an explosion of force. The forth shot hit in the same place, but on the left side of the body. The fifth shot slammed into the troll’s stomach, carving out a hole straight through to the other side while the sixth shot smashed into the beat’s chest blowing a huge gaping wound. His seventh and eight shot hit the head and neck respectively, both with large explosions. This had all happened within a few seconds of the first shot being fired.

Ethan then knelt down next to his bag and quickly assembled Vengeance, his gatling laser. With practiced calm he unloaded enough laser beams into the corpse to turn each and every piece of meat into little more than ash. The two ambassadors stared at him, and at the ash pile on the floor.

“Whelp, looks like we need a maid; it seems that someone was smoking in here and got the ashes everywhere.” Ethan said as he turned his back on the piles of ash and began to pack away his gatling laser. “Oh, and if it gets up after that then it’s officially not my problem anymore.” He told the ambassadors as he walked over to where Twilight was lying on the floor and then nudged her with his boot. “Hey Sparky, wake up. I killed the regenerating asshole.” He told her.

“Two more minutes.” Twilight groaned.

“Yeah, I’ll just take that as applause then while I carry you to wherever your fuckbuddy’s gotten to.” Ethan told her with a chuckle as he gently lifted her into his arms. “You two take care of anything that’s left.” He commanded the two ambassadors with enough authority in his voice to make them automatically salute; it was an old reflex for both of them.

Ethan walked out of the room whistling to himself while he held Twilight easily in his arms. She let out an extremely cute little yawn and cuddled closer to his chest. Ethan chuckled softly to himself and stroked her mane.

“You know Sparky, I can’t help but think that we forgot something…”

Chapter 18

View Online

Edited by TacoTown

Chapter 18

Half an hour earlier

“Now GO!” Her aunt shouted authoritatively. Gilda let out a frustrated growl, but bowed her feathered head and began to weave through the crowd. The steel dagger weighed next to nothing in her talons and the urge to strike out at one of the figures as it charged her aunt was incredible. Instead, she shook her head and continued through the crowd. She didn’t know where Dash had gotten to, but she hoped that she’d found her way to safety. The griffin didn’t know what she’d do if someone hurt her life-bond. Actually, she did; she’d kill them.

A noble elbowed her, but the Princess put that out of mind instead of snapping out like she would’ve when she was younger. Instead, she just kept her head down and moved towards the exit of the room while grumbling slightly under her breath all the while.

***

Kane was peering over the edge of the large, wooden beam, using only his claws to keep from tumbling off of it. The cat watched from on high as the griffin Princess fled the room. He’d been to the griffin capital on several occasions and sat in on a session of court several times, so he recognized the crown princess easily. He also noticed that a particular hippogriff was trailing behind her just far enough to remain unnoticed by the Princess and just close enough to be able to strike. Of course Kane, being who he was, noticed the pattern immediately as the bodies writhed below in the chaos.

“Silent, I’ve got a target.” He told the Lunar Guard who was watching the chaos below from his slightly less risky position near the middle of the beam.

“Good, so does this mean that we can go down and split some heads? Because I really, really, really want to crack some skulls! I mean this is my first real fight and we’re just sitting up here and I’m getting really anxious about missing out on it!” Silent replied rapidly.

“No. Well, yes actually but we’re not getting directly involved yet.” Kane replied.

“Aww! But come on Kane! I thought you were a doer and a shaker and an action taker! But all we’ve done all knight is hide up here!” Silent said with a slight pout.

“The target is an amateur, but we need to stay close without being seen for the moment. Does our armor have any enchantments that’ll help you do that?” Kane asked.

“Umm, yeah, it does now that you mention it. It allows me to blend in with the shadows and move without making very much noise. I haven’t had much time to test it out though because I still haven’t gotten to go out on any spy ops, which is something that I’ve been meaning to do but no one will take me with them because I’m still the FNG.” Silent replied.

“Fucking New Guy?” Kane asked quickly as he began to move along the wooden beam.

“Yeah, that.” Silent agreed.

“Huh, I wonder why.” Kane chuckled.

“Wait! I just thought of something. I was called that because I was the greenest one in the guard. But now you’re the newest guy, so shouldn’t you be the FNG?” Silent asked with a grin as Kane readied his grapple.

“Nope. Trust me kid, you’re way greener then I am. Besides, I’m way too handsome and sexy to be the fucking new guy.” Kane replied with a smirk as he aimed his grapple at another of the support beams and fired. The grappling hook shot out and the claws sank into the wood.

“Alright, activate that armor ability and follow me. Try not to bump into anything, it kinda ruins the whole invisibility thing. Trust me, I learned that the hard way with this one queen and a magic potion.” Kane told him while he prepared to leap off the edge. Silent nodded, pressed a small panel on his chest plate, and vanished.

“Why don’t you use your armor’s spell?” Silent asked him.

“Please. I’m an assassin.” Was all Kane said before he leapt off the ledge. The cat fell slowly thanks to the grapple cord, which allowed him to control his fall. He landed all but silently in the crowd a few feet behind the hippogriff who was tailing Princess Gilda. The hippogriff didn’t notice him, nor did anyone but the pony who he landed in front of, who saw that the cat was wearing the distinctive armor of the Lunar Guard and smartly kept his mouth shut.

***

Gilda looked over her shoulder as she left the main room. The hippogriff was still following her a little too closely for her liking. She thought quickly and turned down one of the narrower side passages and increased her pace.

***

If Kane could’ve he would’ve slapped the Princess for being such an idiot. Like all griffins she appeared to be rather hot-blooded and was apparently going to try and disarm the assassin by leading him down a side corridor. Of all the idiotic, stupid, and generally foolhardy things that the Princess could’ve chosen to do she just had to pick this one. Kane really shouldn’t have been surprised considering that she was a griffin but… Kane shook his head quickly and got back to his job of remaining unseen.

Then he noticed something; they were nearing the end of the hallway and it culminated in a dead end. Kane’s paw hit his face with a barely audible smack. She’d led him into a dead end; of course she’d led him into a dead end… Kane closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose in frustration. Then he ducked into a side passage and motioned for Silent, who was following a few feet to the right, to join him there.

“What is it Kane?” Silent whispered.

“This is going to be ugly Silent. She thinks that she can take him.” Kane replied back in a hushed tone.

“Can she?”

“Hell no.” Kane replied simply. “If we don’t do this right then she’s going to die and this asshat’s going to start a bloody war.”

“So what do we do?” Silent asked.

“I’ve got a plan but it all hinges on you; are you up for this kid?” Kane asked. Silent thought about it for a second and then nodded. “Good, so here’s what we do…”

***

Gilda looked over her shoulder again and found that she was all alone in the hallway with the hippogriff. She turned to confront him, holding the dagger in front of her like she’d been trained to. The hippogriff stopped and stared at her.

“Really?” He asked incredulously.

“I’m Princess Gilda of the Griffin Kingdom, and if you think that you’re going to hurt me then you’ve got another thing coming.” Gilda replied as if this explained everything while she raised her dagger.

“You’re an idiot.” The hippogriff replied as he strode forward and kicked the griffin in the stomach before she had a chance to reply.

The dagger clattered to the floor as Gilda leaned forward in pain. The hippogriff stepped forward and caught her as she fell forward, and there was a slight clinking sound as a blade spouted from a gauntlet at his wrist and it pressed against the side of her neck.

“And now you’ll die all alone with the knowledge that a war that will engulf three kingdoms will be all your fault.” The hippogriff continued with a sinister chuckle.

“STOP RIGHT THERE CRIMINAL SCUM!” Silent shouted as he rounded the corner and walked into the dim light of the passageway.

“I kill her in the honor of the Hippogriff Kingdom!” The assassin shouted with a gleeful shout. With that he began to slice downward with his wrist blade. That’s when Kane leapt off of his perch on the ceiling, and delivered a flying kick to the hippogriff’s beak, sending him stumbling backwards.

The hippogriff’s blade still slashed deeply into the griffin Princess’s neck, but not nearly deep enough to kill her and instead only opened a deep gash that made her let out a shriek of pain. Kane was unfortunately much, much smaller than the hippogriff assassin, so his blow did little besides wind the attacker who recovered and let out a screech of rage as he charged at Kane, both wrist blades extended. The cat’s eyes widened and he quickly drew his dagger from its sheath and prepared to meet the charging hippogriff with it held in a reverse grip.

At first, instead of countering the incoming blades with his dagger Kane focused instead on weaving in and out of the maelstrom of slashes that the hippogriff was dealing. He ducked under one wrist blade as it whistled through the air where his head had been only a second earlier, then dodged to the right and narrowly avoided being stabbed in the chest by the second blade. The hippogriff assassin’s beak curved into an evil smirk as they twirled their deadly dance, continually forcing Kane back towards the wall.

Kane’s eyes began to dart back and forth, searching for a way away from his attacker who continued to press him. The dagger in Kane’s paw suddenly slashed out, interrupting a dagger destined for his stomach and then traveled in a wicked arc straight towards the hippogriff’s chest. It was parried to the right by a quick slash from the blade protruding from the hippogriff’s other wrist. Meanwhile, Silent began to apply a tourniquet to the slash on the Princess’s neck that began to slow the spread of red blood that had already soaked a good deal of the white feathers.

“It’s too late! She’s already dead and once I’m done with you there’ll be only me.” The hippogriff told Kane with a malicious grin as his wrist blade swept past Kane’s throat after being deflected at the last second. Kane said nothing, instead choosing to focus on the fight at hand. The cat nimbly whirled through another flurry of blows until one caught him across the left shoulder, cutting through the metal protecting it and opening a deep cut. Kane let out a hiss of pain and stumbled back, his face contorted into a scowl of intense agony.

“That’s what I like about fighting cats, you’re all pussies deep down inside under all that self-assured bluster!” The hippogriff shouted wickedly as he pressed his advantage, wrist blades at the ready. Kane’s mouth suddenly twisted from its scowl and into a smirk.

“Kid, you just described your own race in a nutshell.” Kane said as his smirk got bigger. “Now, because you’re obviously not very experienced, why don’t you let me teach you something about being an assassin?” The cat continued as his dagger slashed out and imbedded itself in the center of the hippogriff’s right hand.

“First, if you are going to use wrist blades at all then you use them for stealth kills.” Kane said as his blade jerked out of the hippogriff’s talon and intercepted the other, and significantly thinner, wrist blade on its way to his face, where it snapped under the sudden pressure. “There are reasons why nations don’t arm their soldier with these things you know.” He added as he pulled away from the hippogriff so he could dodge a sloppy swing from the arm that he’d already injured.

“For starters, they’re impractical. I mean, even with the nice ones the mechanism can get broken, and not only are they as expensive to fix as it is to make a wealthy queen happy, but that can also happen in the middle of a fight, leaving you with an unwieldy and not to mention heavy blade either sticking out of your wrist or trapped inside its pouch uselessly, doing nothing for you.” Kane lectured as he dodged another sloppy swing.

“Furthermore, they take entirely too long to learn how to use properly when that time could instead be spent learning something useful, like the halberd for example. Hell, halberds are some of the best weapons out there to train people with; I mean just for starters you’ve got a giant freaking axe that can literally slice its way through a layer dragon scale plated armor, then you add in the reach and spearhead of a spear and you’ve got a long range solution for pretty much any close to medium range fight.” Kane continued with a growing smirk as he deflected a slash.

“Although, I’m getting a bit off topic aren’t I?” He asked the hippogriff who let out a screech of irritation and rage as he lunged for the cat, who simply stepped to the side. “Yeah, you’re right. I have kinda gotten off topic, allow me to fix that.” He said as his clawed foot lashed out and caught the hippogriff in the back, sending him tumbling to his knees.

“Now onto my second point, you don’t talk until your quarry is DEAD!” Kane shouted. The hippogriff tried to get back to his feet, but Kane’s foot was faster and it slammed into the hippogriff’s powerful horse leg with a loud snap; he’d been careful to make sure that it landed at just the right angle to break it. “Now I know what you’re thinking, you’re thinking ‘why am I talking if it’s so important that you should kill before you talk’, right?” Kane asked the hippogriff, who let out a low, pain-filled moan.

“Well, it’s pretty simple really.” Kane continued with a shrug. “I’m a guard which means that I really don’t have jurisdiction to kill you, unfortunately…” Kane said with a sigh. “Anywho, you don’t talk until after you’ve killed you opponent, it’s called monologuing. It gives whoever your target is the chance to fight back and gain ground. I’m doing it right now and if it wasn’t for the fact that I just broke your leg and had already essentially disarmed you I’d never do it. Besides, the rest of the guards should be here in a few seconds so even if you do somehow manage to kill me we’re at the end of a dead end passage and there’s nowhere for you to go.” Then Kane suddenly leapt forward and his paw caught the hippogriff’s foreleg in mid stab motion, keeping the wrist blade out of reach of the hippogriff’s own throat.

“No suicide for you, asshat.” The cat added disdainfully before he quickly broke the wrist that the blade was attached to, getting another pained scream out of the hippogriff. “Hey Silent, will the Princess live?” He called over his shoulder.

“Umm, yeah I think so, I mean I got the tourniquet in the right place and the bleeding’s stopped, I think. Which means that all I have to do is keep her stable, I think. I kinda daydreamed through the medical portion of guard training…” Silent said, trailing off.

“By Bast kid, I’m giving you a full refresher course on this stuff once we’re done here.” Kane said with a shake of his head. “I can’t have you forgetting something important, like how to breathe, when we’re on patrol.”

“Hey, I’m not that bad. I mean look, it was boring alright, and the instructor had an amazing ass so it’s not really my fault.” Silent protested. It took Princess Luna and a small squad of guards five minutes to get to where Kane and Silent were after they’d received the magical emergency signal from the armor that Silent had sent out once they’d gotten the attacker under control.

“Kane, Silent, what has happened?” Luna asked once she got close enough.

“Well, she went off by herself like an idiot.” Kane said with a nod towards the griffin princess, who was leaning heavily against Silent. “You may want to get her to a hospital by the way; she suffered a severe case of wrist blade to the throat.” Kane added with a shake of his head. Luna’s eyes widened as she saw the blood soaked tourniquet that rested against Gilda’s neck. Then she cocked her head to the side for a second and closed her eyes, opening a second later.

“My sister is sending aid as we speak.” She told Gilda, who nodded gratefully before finally passing out from blood loss.

Luna’s eyes strayed to the hippogriff who was lying on the ground moaning in pain. Kane had been periodically stomping on his broken leg to make sure that the would be assassin wasn’t too keen on the idea of trying to run away. Luna’s eyes narrowed.

“Is this hippogriff responsible for the princess’s injuries?” She asked quietly.

“Yeah. Bastard was going to assassinate her, luckily he wasn’t too good at his job.” Kane replied with a shrug that exposed his still bleeding shoulder.

“Are you alright Kane? You’re bleeding.” Luna asked him.

“Meh; I have another ten minutes before the adrenaline stops flowing and I actually start to feel pain again, hopefully your sister’s nurses will be here by then.” Kane replied.

“Very well Kane, so long as you seek proper attention once they come.” Luna told him with a nod. “I think I will be having some very cutting words with Ambassador Sharp once this miscreant has been taken to a cell.” She added as she turned to glare at the hippogriff. Kane took this as a good opportunity as any to stomp on the broken leg again. “Please, don’t do that Kane. We don’t torture ponies here.” Luna told him.

“He’s not a pony.” Kane pointed out reasonably before giving the hippogriff one more stomp for good measure.

“No he is most certainly not, but he’s a prisoner and we are forced to treat prisoners with respect.” Luna said with a sigh.

“Fine.” Kane said before he took one last stomp and then spit on the hippogriff. “Hardly worth the trouble anyways.” He added with another stomp.

“Kane…” Luna said fixing him with a glare.

“Just saying.” Kane replied with another shrug and stomp. “I mean, this guy visibly trailed her, and when I say that I mean that a blind minotaur could’ve seen it if he’d been paying attention.” Kane added with a stomp. “And let’s not even go into how sloppy he was-” Kane suddenly found himself floating upside down in the air as Luna fixed him with a pointed, narrow-eyed stare.

“Kane, I do not care. He is a prisoner and as such deserves treatment as a sentient being. That means STOP stomping on his obviously broken leg.” Luna said. Their conversation was interrupted by the sound of voices coming down the hallway. Luna turned to see that Ethan was walking next to Celestia, who had Twilight lying on her back. A group of nurses carrying a stretcher walked along beside them.

“-going to kill Sharp.” Ethan was saying. Then he looked up and saw the hippogriff with the terribly broken leg and suddenly began to smile. “You know, I do have a shotgun… and from what I hear about race horses and broken legs…” He received flat horrified stares from every pony in the room, and several of the medical staff began back away from the man.

“Anyways-” Celestia began before she caught sight of Kane. “…Luna, why is Kane suspended upside down in midair?” Celestia asked curiously.

“Because he wouldn’t stop stomping on the prisoner’s broken leg.” Luna said dryly. This made several of the medical ponies turn to glare at the cat, who shrugged.

“Meh, the bastard deserves it. Oh and can one of you please keep me from bleeding out?” The cat asked with a nod towards his shoulder.

“Oh, I can fix that easy.” Ethan said, stepping forward.

“You’re that Ethan guy, right?” Kane asked as the man took out a hypodermic of some sort.

“I also respond to The Lone Wanderer and That Crazy Son of a Bitch, but I prefer Ethan.” Ethan replied with a chuckle before he drove the hypodermic into Kane’s shoulder. The cat winced as the needle sank beneath his skin. Kane felt a sudden shiver travel up his spine as the skin of his shoulder, and everything beneath it began to heal before his upside down eyes. Then, Ethan took out the hypodermic and put it into a pocket on the suit.

“Wow, that’s a nice little tool.” Kane said as he inspected the newly healed skin.

“Yeah, I used to use these things all the time, then my skin began to grow back by itself and my bones stopped breaking, so I’ve got hundreds of the things lying around.” Ethan replied with a shrug.

“Do you think I could borrow one? Or all of them actually?” Kane asked hopefully.

“I don’t know, what do you think Luna?” Ethan asked the blue alicorn.

“I honestly don’t know whether or not it’s a good idea.” Luna replied with a shrug. “So Ethan, what happened after Celly and I got all of the civilians out of the room?” Luna asked changing topics.

“Frost troll, I killed it.” Ethan replied simply.

“You killed a frost troll… by yourself…” Luna said slowly.

“Well, Sparky helped by getting my stuff from my room, which is why she’s currently passed out on your sister’s back.” Ethan said.

“Of course, of course.” Luna said nodding as if this was a sensible discussion.

“Hmm, I’m impressed. Usually it takes an entire squad an hour of solid fighting to bring one down.” Kane told Ethan. “Oh, and Luna? Would you please let me down?” He added.

“I’ll let you down when the nurses get that assassin away from you.” Luna replied indifferently.

“Here, I’ll help” Ethan told the cat as he reached into his pocket and drew out a sphere. Before he could do whatever it was that he was about to do Celestia’s golden aura grabbed it out of his hand and she shot him a slight glare.

“Do you really believe that it’s a good idea to do that with him right there?” She asked with a nod towards the assassin.

“Hmm… good point Sunny.” Ethan consented with a nod.

“Most of them are Ethan.” She told him frankly.

“Yeah, but then there are the ones like when you threatened me, not that I didn’t have it coming mind you, but I usually take offence to points that involve threatening me.” Ethan told her with a smirk.

“Because you’re an idiot.” Celestia told him.

“Wow, you’re starting to sound like Sparky; then again you are what you eat.” Ethan said with a chuckle. Celestia hit him in the knee with her leg, causing the man to stagger. Then he slapped himself in the forehead. “I left my bag with the Ambassadors; I need to make sure that they don’t take anything.” He told the group before he took off in the opposite direction at a sprint.

“I’ll go with him. Sister, you make sure that this assassin is taken care of.” Celestia told Luna before turning away and following the man, easily catching up with her longer legs.

“So what now?” Kane asked.

“We wait for something interesting to happen.” Luna replied.

***

“NO, we will not violate his trust through theft of property!” Sharp told Nymira harshly.

“Aw, come on Sharpy, you can’t be serious. You saw what those things could do; imagine what either of our people could do with that stuff!” Nymira said in exasperation.

“No, I will not allow it. Besides, I’m sure that he keeps very close track of everything in there. Furthermore, the removal of any item would surly raise suspicion and I currently am in no mood to report to my king that I’ve angered a being who took down a frost troll by himself in under twenty minutes by stealing his things.” Sharp told Nymira firmly.

“That’s a good Sharpy, because I’m already angry enough with you.” Ethan said as he strode into the room and grabbed his bag before turning to face Sharp. Celestia appeared and watched from the doorway as Twilight lay across her back, clearly asleep.

“What have I done to anger you?” Sharp asked in confusion.

“You’ve been playing me for a sucker Sharpy, and I don’t like it when people play me for a sucker.” Ethan said in a low and dangerous voice.

“I cannot fathom what you’re referring to; in fact I find that I do not like your tone.” Sharp told Ethan.

“This whole attack was just a way to get Princess Gilda alone so that one of your hippogriffs could assassinate her, wasn’t it?!” Ethan asked suddenly as he poked Sharp in the chest accusingly.

“WHAT?” Sharp shouted. “How dare you accuse me of doing such a distasteful thing?!”

“Honestly, I’ve got to agree with Sharpy here, it’s not the way his people do things.” Nymira told Ethan with a shrug.

“Then why, in the hell, did one of his hippogriffs try and assassinate Princess Gilda?!” Ethan shouted back.

“Did-did one really?” Sharp asked uncertainly.

“Indeed one did.” Celestia said from her post by the door.

“Your majesty, permission to leave so that I may see to my niece?” Nymira asked.

“Of course you may. She’s unconscious at the moment, but I beilive that she’ll make a full recovery.” Celestia said with a nod of her head. Nymira swept out of the room faster than Ethan had ever seen her move before.

“The king will be furious. Celestia, you must understand that my king would never, ever, resort to assassination. It is the coward’s way out. If I want someone dead then I will do it myself with my own claws or sword in a duel or upon the battlefield.” Sharp told the Princess.

“I know that, which is why you aren’t under arrest.” Celestia told Sharp before turning to Ethan. “Good acting by the way Ethan.”

“Thanks. Now if you don’t mind me I’ll be going to sleep. When she wakes up tell Sparky that I owe her for getting my stuff.” Ethan replied before he walked out of the room.

“I would be… Interested to know if the assassin was captured alive…” Sharp said, giving Celestia a hard look.

“Very much so.” She responded promptly.

“Good. I will see him.”

***

“It has to be tonight. He is tired from his fight.” A cowled unicorn said.

“We are ready my Lord.” Another cowled unicorn replied.

“Good, by tomorrow Ethan Smith will no longer be a thorn in my flank!” The first figure said, letting out an ominous laugh while he reared on his back hooves; the effect was ruined when he toppled over backwards.

Chapter 19

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Edited by TacoTown

Chapter 19

Ethan awoke to a feeling that he was uncomfortably familiar with. That feeling was being hung upside down by his feet while his body was constricted by dozens of ropes, and he was pretty sure that he heard some chains clinking. A thick blindfold covered his eyes and prevented him from looking at his surroundings. Oh, and he was stark naked too. A tiny smile appeared on his face, this was better then he'd been expecting.

“Hmm… You know, I can’t tell if I’ve been taken prisoner or if this is some kind of elaborate foreplay. Personally I’m hoping for the first, less heartbreak that way when I have to say no to the very generous invitation.” Ethan said with a chuckle.

“Be silent you obnoxious little ape!” A vicious female voice said loudly from beside Ethan’s ear, and then he felt the impact of some kind of whip across his back. Ethan turned in the voice’s direction.

“Oh, so I’ve been taken hostage by a dominatrix. Sorry hun, but I’m not into that.” Ethan told her with a smile.

“I said be quiet!” The shrill voice shouted again and Ethan felt the whip slap against his back once more.

“Is that really the best that you’ve got? I’ve met botflies that can hit harder then you, with their wings!” Ethan informed her. The mare let out an angry hiss and began to whip him repeatedly. “Keep that up and it might start to sting a bit!” He added encouragingly.

“Enough of this, it accomplishes nothing!” A stallion’s voice shouted from the left.

“Oh, I don’t know about nothing, but it certainly makes it more obvious that you guys suck at this.” Ethan told them frankly. “I mean, where are the terrified screams of the other prisoners or the rippling applause of the crowd of happy onlookers who can’t wait to see me eaten by whatever monster that I’ll be killing soon with my bare hands?”

“You hear the way he talks down to us? His arrogance is unequaled in all of Equestria!” A familiar stallion’s voice shouted from the left.

“Oh, hey there Blueballs, I was wondering when you’d show up.” Ethan said with a smirk. “And the fact that I’m naked suddenly makes a lot more sense now that I think about it…” Ethan added, trailing off.

“How dare you march into my Aunt’s court and embarrass me, in front of foreign ambassadors no less!” Blueblood shouted.

“Well it’s not as if you had any respect in the first place from what I can tell.” Ethan replied with an upside down shrug.

“As you can plainly see, this creature deserves no form of pity. He is a danger to our aristocracy and a public menace, as clearly demonstrated by his destructive excursions in the city!” Blueblood shouted, garnering several shouts of agreement from ponies who Ethan had never heard before.

“Well, I guess the fact that I probably saved several of you from a frost troll a few hours doesn’t count as good conduct, eh?” Ethan asked.

“Would someone please gag the miscreant?” Blueblood asked.

“With pleasure, my Prince.” The mare from before said as a strip of duct tape suddenly attached itself to Ethan’s mouth, silencing him.

“Now as I was saying…” Blueblood began.

Ethan rolled his eyes behind the blindfold and began to hum to himself around the gag; it was only a matter of time till Twilight showed up. In the meantime he would have a great time annoying the hell out of his captors.

***

Twilight Sparkle awoke as to bright rays of sunlight as they cascaded through her window. She yawned and gave a big stretch with her forelegs above her head before she slowly got out of bed. And then it suddenly struck her. She wasn’t in Celestia’s bedroom, not only that but she wasn’t in any bedroom in the palace. No, she was in her old room in her parents’ house. As the realization struck her, Twilight’s eyes shot open in surprise and she ran for the door in a desperate attempt to vacate the room before her parents decided to check on her. If it had been any time other than the first thing in the morning she might have just teleported away without incident, but her brain had yet to fully awaken.

Instead, she walked out of her bedroom and rushed down the stairs to the front door. She was just about to open the door when a familiar magic reached out and grabbed her. Twilight found herself being floated towards the kitchen and into a chair that was facing another unicorn. Said unicorn looked a lot like Twilight, except for the difference in her mane and fur. Well, and Twilight had her mechanical eye and leg, but that doesn’t exactly count. The unicorn sitting across was Star Sparkle, Twilight’s mother.

“Mom, I need to go.” Twilight said very levelly.

“I’m sure you do dear, but I can’t help but feel like you’re spending too much time with your head buried in your tutor’s plot and not enough talking to your lonely mother.” Star told her daughter.

“For the last time, Celly isn’t my tutor mom!” Twilight shouted.

“Testy, testy, testy, has your tutor told you that you’re adorable when you get angry? You get this darling little look in your eyes.” Her mother told her with an unconcerned chuckle.

“You-I-blarg.” Twilight replied intelligently as she fumbled for the right words.

“Now you just need to figure out how to use contractions and you’ll be golden.” Star told her daughter encouragingly.

“Look mom… I need to go and find out whether or not anyone I know died last night at the Gala.” Twilight told her mother as calmly as possible.

“A few guards are in critical and Princess Gilda of the Griffins is recovering from severe blood loss but that’s about it. Or at least that’s what your tutor told me to tell you.” Star answered without missing a beat.

“What the hell happened to Gilda? The last time I saw her she was running her furry ass out of the room.” Twilight asked.

“Have I mentioned how much I love the way you curse now dear? It’s so unbelievably endearing, especially when you can do it so casually. It almost makes me want to send you to visit some of the more aggravating dunces at work just so that you could tear into them with your whip-like tongue.” Star said without answering the question. “Of course, the hypocritical bastards wouldn’t get the point in the first place so I’m not sure whether or not it would be worth the effort.” She continued with a shrug.

“Mom, seriously. I need to know about what happened.” Twilight told her mother. “How did Gilda get hurt? Are my friends alright? What happened with Ethan and did he start any new wars?”

“I still haven’t met that stallion, although from everything that you and your tutor have told me he must be some kind of monster-” Star said, fixing her daughter with a smirk as she opened her mouth to defend her friend. “-in bed.” Her mother finished with a smile.

“Mom, you’re absolutely impossible. Even more then he is.” Twilight said before hitting her forehead gently against the tabletop in frustration.

“Oh, so you haven’t gotten in bed with him yet; well keep at it dear I’m sure he’ll fall for you eventually. If I were you I’d try doing that dance that you and Cadence made up. You know, with your plot in his face.” Star suggested tacitly.

“I don’t want to have sex with Ethan mom!” Twilight said exasperatedly. “He’s married!”

“And?” Star asked while raising an eyebrow.

“And they’re monogamous!” Twilight answered.

“That poor stallion, the dear doesn’t know what he’s missing out on.” Star said with a sorry shake of her head.

“Mom, trust me. He’s very happy with it. Besides, he says that if he was going to have sex with any horse then it would be Luna, apparently she has a nice ass.” Twilight told her mother.

“Ah, so he’s going after the same goal as your father then?” Star asked.

“HE’S WHAT?” Twilight shouted.

“Your father is trying to bring light to the night.” Her mother said, rolling her eyes at the horrible pun.

“Why is my family so fucked up?” Twilight asked.

“Because dear, with great power comes great instability, and in the case of your grandmother great insanity, but that’s beside the point.” Her mother said. “Anyways dear, you’ve just got to talk to him about how you feel deep down and I’m sure that he’ll understand.” Star added as she patted Twilight shoulder comfortingly.

“Mother. I’m. Not. In. Love. With. ETHAN!” Twilight shouted.

“Who said anything about love dear? I was talking about sex.” Star asked.

“That’s it, I’m done. I can’t take anymore of you today. Goodbye mom.” Twilight said before she got out of her chair and headed for the door. To her annoyance, her mother got up and followed her.

“I want to meet this strapping stallion so I can see if he’s really up to my standards for you.” Star told her daughter.

“Mom, first thing is he’s not a stallion, if you’re going to refer to him like that then use the word man. Second, and more importantly; I am not trying to seduce him!” Twilight shouted before opening the door and walking out, with her mother following next to her.

“The more you deny it the more obvious it is dear, I’m the expert on interspecies relationships so I should know.” Star said.

“Mom, you’re the head professor on interspecies studies, not relationships!” Twilight said exasperatedly.

“It all boils down to sex Twilight.” Star told her frankly with a bit of a chuckle.

“How am I related to you again?” Twilight asked with a sigh.

“Oh it’s because your father had sex with me under the full moon that one night.” Star replied.

Twilight groaned and instead of replying just ignored her mother and continued on her way to the Palace. They arrived in close to record time, thanks to Twilight’s subtle attempt to outrun her mother. The duo marched straight past the guards and through the gates of the palace, along with the front door and down the hallways until they arrived at Ethan’s doorway.

“Here mom. If you really want to meet him so bad he should be in here.” Twilight told her mother, who rolled her eyes.

“Honestly Twilight, you treat me like I’m was some kind of shrew that always nags you about getting married.” Her mother said, sounding offended.

“No, I treat you like the extremely a horny mother who always wants to know about my nights with Celestia.” Twilight told her with a look of aggravated annoyance.

“Well dear, that’s just because you don’t share gossip. I mean, here you are having sex with a goddess and you’re not even sharing any of the good details.” Star said shrewdly.

“There’s lots of screaming involved and I can hear it all the way in the courtroom.” Luna said, walking up behind them. “Anyways Twilight, have you seen Ethan? He wasn’t at breakfast, and he wasn’t with Tia so we assumed that he’d somehow gotten to your house…” She said, trailing off. “Which means that he’s either hiding in the castle, randomly wandering the streets of Canterlot, or been kidnapped.” Luna said

“Knowing Ethan, I’m leaning towards the last option.” Twilight said sourly. “Well this is just fan-fucking-tastasitc!” She added acidly.

“You’re in a good mood today.” Luna told her with a slight smirk.

“Try spending time with her for a while as she badgers you about your love life and you’ll sound about the same.” Twilight said with a nod to her mother, who just smirked back.

“Oh, that reminds me. Tell your husband that as much as I would love to have him “light up my night”, I’m currently chasing someone different, so he should give it up for at least a month or so. Depending on how well I do I’ll let him know if I’m available then.” Luna told Twilight’s mother, who nodded.

“I’ll make sure to tell him that, although I’d be interested to know who your target is, if you don’t mind me asking of course.” Star said.

“Oh he’s just this guy I found; I’m not sure whether he’ll think I’m good enough for him. Apparently he’s used to sleeping with queens.” Luna said with a chuckle.

“Well, go for it sister. You only live once.” Star told her with a grin.

“Gah, I’m going to find Tia and see if she knows where Ethan is.” Twilight said turning her back on her mother, who was getting into an interesting conversation with Luna about the importance of reach and flexibility. Once she’d left Luna’s smile died a bit and she gave Star a slight glare.

“Is it really necessary for you to do that to her?” The princess asked.

“It’s the only way she’s ever seen me act since she hit puberty. If I changed now it would probably break her.” Star replied. “Besides, she knows I care.”

“Have it your way then.”

***

Ethan was getting bored, on the bright side his plan was going well. Blueblood and the other nobles had been crowing about him being a bad influence on the Princesses, disrupting the peace, making unicorns look inferior, and several other things that he really, really, really, couldn’t bring himself to give a damn about. On the bright side, the monologue had given him the chance to get the ropes fastening his hands together untied. After that he’d moved onto his legs and he’d just finished loosening the bindings on his feet when Blueblood’s melodramatic speech ended.

“So what do you have to say in your defense ape?” Blueblood shouted. Someone tore the ductape off of Ethan’s mouth so that he could speak.

“I’d just like to say that you’re a pussy licked little bitch who’s never going to accomplish anything worthwhile in life. As for my defense, well, I zoned out about halfway through your little monologue, but I’ve really got nothing to say. It’s hard to defend against lies, especially when they’re told by a self-entitled little prick like you.” Ethan replied. “Anyways, I’d just like to say that no one here probably likes you, and they only hang out with you because you’re a ‘prince’.”

“How dare you!” Blueblood shouted in outrage.

“Very easily actually.” Ethan replied with a smirk. That’s when he felt the dagger stab into his stomach.

“What do you have to say to that monster?!” Blueblood shouted.

“Kinky.” Ethan said with a chuckle. Blueblood answered this by letting out a scream of rage as he haphazardly slashed at Ethan’s midsection with the dagger, all the while screaming incoherently. Ethan’s mind went to that little corner it went occasionally when his body was in immense pain.

The minute that the slashing stopped, Ethan’s wounds began to heal and he allowed himself to come back to reality. “Wow, I wouldn’t have bet on you being a screamer. Normally that’s only for women, cross-dressing women, and transvestites. But then again, with you it’s hard enough to tell when I can see let alone when I can’t so I guess you’ll have to forgive me for having trouble telling.” Ethan snarked as his chest finished healing.

“You-You-You!” Blueblood sputtered, and Ethan thought that he heard someone chuckle in the crowd.

“I know that it’s difficult, but you’ve gotta use your words little girl. Oh, and stop staring at my dick. It’s annoying and you’re way too young for me girlyman.” Ethan replied, this time he knew for a fact that someone had laughed. Blueblood had too apparently, because he took out his rage on Ethan with the knife again.

“You know, I’m hanging upside down by my feet with a blindfold on and I’ve got to tell you, the only thing that’s scaring me right now is that the fact the other ponies in the room are just letting this happen to me. From all that Twilight Sparkle had told me I’d think that this kind of thing was impossible; she went on and on about how nice and kind ponies were, about how everything could be solved by love and tolerance.” Ethan told them accusingly.

“Well I guess we know how wrong she was, right guys?” Ethan asked the crowd, he heard several uncomfortable coughs and the clearing of throats.

“I think it’s time for the ductape to go back on.” Blueblood said loudly and Ethan had just enough time to call him a coward before the tape closed his mouth. Behind the ductape Ethan was smirking, another few hours of tearing down this idiot and no one in the entire capital would respect him.

Chapter 20

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AN, i know i'm supposed to put this at the bottom, but i don't think that many people notice it there; Ethan now has a Tumblr, so ask him some questions dammit!

Edited by TacoTown

Chapter 20

Several days ago, back in the Mojave.

Cassandra and Boone stepped out of Susan’s office, Cassandra’s ordinarily calm face was pale and Boone’s was worse. The man looked like he was going to be violently ill.

“They killed deathclaws.” He murmured.

“Easily, as easily you or I would kill a molerat.” Cassandra replied quietly.

“Christ.” Boone whispered.

“And now they’re here, in the Mojave. Boone, this is bad. This is so bad that I think I’m going to need a drink. A tall, stiff drink, or a dozen packets of mentats and a few syringes of Med-X.” Cassandra told him.

“I’d punch you in the jaw before I let you put a chem in your body outside of an emergency.” Boone told her, regaining a bit of his pallor. “I watched you struggle through your original addiction, I’m not letting it happen again Cassie; ever.” His voice had hardened by the end of the sentence.

“Thanks Boone…” Cassandra told him quietly as she leaned against him a little. Boone took it in stride and just kept walking. “For what it’s worth, I’m sorry.” She said after a few moments of silence as they walked down the hall.

“For what?” Boone asked.

“For turning on these people, for throwing the NCR out of Vegas.” Cassandra answered with a sigh. “The higher ups are hopeless lost causes, and they were over extending themselves to the point of collapse. But when I pushed them out it made all of their sacrifices pointless. All of those dead men and women fighting over a city of sin and debauchery, and I know I’ve told you this before, right after the Battle of the Dam, but I just wanted to say it again.” Cassandra continued.

“I know why you did it Cassandra, part of why I left was to find that out, even if I should probably have done it sooner.” Boone said with a shake of his head. “You don’t have to apologize to me, or anyone else for what you did here.” Boone told her. “What I’m more concerned about is that you never told anyone about the tunnelers and the Divide.” Boone finished.

“I did tell someone.” Cassandra replied.

“Ethan?” Boone asked.

“Yes, good God I wish he was here right now.” Cassandra said with a sigh.

“If he’s just in the Capital Wasteland then it shouldn’t be too hard to fly to him.” Boone suggested, but Cassandra shook her head.

“No, he’s in another dimension with no way for me to contact him, having a vacation with that unicorn Twilight Sparkle.” Cassandra replied. Boone stared at her. Cassandra face palmed; Boone had been on his way out of town before that particular adventure had started. “Ethan met a talking, magic-using purple unicorn from another dimension, they teamed up and fought an army of supermutants, when I got there we killed an insane android and then a whole legion of, well, Legion who were trying to take over. After that, the unicorn discovered how to get back to her dimension, the day you got back he got a letter from her and vanished.” Cassandra explained, giving him the cliffnotes of the visit.

“What?” Boone said flatly.

“It’s Ethan’s fault, don’t blame me.” She replied with a shrug.

“Okay then, talking, magic-using purple unicorns, yeah…” Boone said while he gave her a skeptical look.

“Boone, it happened, I shit you not.” Cassandra said in a slightly aggravated voice. “Just trust me on this, or ask Arcade and Veronica. They were there.” She added.

“I think I’ll have to, no offense.” Boone said.

“Anyways, back to the topic of the tun—” Cassandra began, she was interrupted mid-sentence as four NCR troopers tackled her. Boone’s knife was in his hand a second later, but when he noticed that the four were hugging her he re-sheathed his knife just as quickly.

“Cassandra, it’s been forever since we saw you last time!” An enthusiastic blonde man said as he released from his grip. The others released her as well. One was a blonde woman with short hair and officer markings on her uniform, the other two were both men. The one on the right wore a pair of thin framed glasses, and the other’s hair was styled into a spiky mohawk. They all looked extremely happy and comfortable with each other, and Boone noticed several dozen campaign medals on their uniforms.

“O'Hanrahan, Mags, Poindexter, Razz… Good God is this really the same ragtag team of misfits I whipped into shape all those years ago?” She asked incredulously with raised eyebrows.

“Damn straight it is ma’am.” The man with the spiky hair replied confidently.

“Well fuck me with a flagpole.” Cassandra said with a shake of her head. “I heard that you kids did good work during defending Camp Golf, but I didn’t think that I’d ever see you again!” Cassandra added with a wide grin.

“Who’s your friend ma’am?” O’Hanrahan asked with a nod to Boone.

“Oh right, sorry Boone. Forgot myself in nostalgia for a second there.” Cassandra told the sniper before turning back to the squad. “Misfits, this is Craig Boone, best sniper in the entire Mojave and my best friend in the world.” Cassandra said with a hand gesture in Boone’s direction. “Boone, this is the squad of Misfits that I whipped into shape. O'Hanrahan’s the blond guy whose heart is a little too big, Mags is the chick who looks like she’d kill you as soon as she looked at you, Pointdexter is the nerdy one who’s good at science, and Razz is the spiky haired guy.” She said as she introduced them.

“Hey, why don’t I get something besides being the spiky haired guy?” Razz asked.

“Because I could’ve said drug addict, but I was being nice.” Cassandra replied with a smirk.

“Fuck you ma’am.” The man said, giving her the finger.

“Hi.” Was all that Boone had to offer.

“So what brings you guys here?” Cassandra asked the group, changing subjects.

“We’re here to either help repel whatever’s been fucking with the wildlife, or hit the strip because we’ve got a few weeks of leave saved up.” Mags said stepping forward a bit. Cassandra’s eyes widened, she reached into her duster pocket and pulled out four plastic cards.

“These will get you into the strip with no questions asked. They’ll also get you into the Lucky 38, where you’ll find complimentary guest rooms on the fourth floor. Go there and don’t come back till I get back.” Cassandra told them as she passed them the cards. “These’ll also give you a ten thousand cap allowance to spend on whatever you want, each.” She added.

“Wha-wha-what?!” O'Hanrahan asked, completely confused and overwhelmed.

“She wants us away from the base before things get ugly.” Pointdexter explained before he turned to Cassandra. “That’s it isn’t it? Something awful is happening and you want us to get the hell out of Dodge.” He asked.

“Yes.” Cassandra replied simply.

“We should stay here and fight!” O'Hanrahan said.

“You’ll die.” Cassandra told him.

“But if you stay here then you’ll die too, along with all of the other troopers here!” Mags said, obviously not liking the idea of the woman who’d taught her how to lead her squad dying while she sat around in a Vegas hotel room.

“It’s a possibility, but if I do then I deserve it.” Cassandra told them with a shrug.

“Ma’am, you’re fucking stupid if you think that we’re going to leave you to die here!” Razz told Cassandra loudly.

“Yes, especially when you haven’t told us what the problem is.” Pointdexter said.

“Look, just trust me on this. You don’t want to be here when they show up. Go to Vegas, have fun, relax, get laid.” She told them frankly, causing O'Hanrahan to start blushing wildly while the others snickered. “Consider it a favor to me.” She said and then a little quieter she added. “Please.”

“Alright ma’am, but if you die because we aren’t here to save you then I’m going to march up to heaven and kick your ass.” O'Hanrahan told her with a surprising amount of vulgarity.

“Trust me, I have absolutely no intention of dying. I’ve got kids to look after, after all.” She told them with a smirk.

“Those must be some badass kids.” Razz said.

“Well they’re babies right now, so it’s hard to tell.” Cassandra replied with a shrug.

“Okay ma’am, we’ll use our leave time, but you’d better make it out alive.” Mags told her a little stiffly.

“Good. Yes Man is my robot helper, he’s a bit creepy, but he should make sure that you get situated all right.” Cassandra told the group with a kind smile. They spent a few minutes catching up before the Misfits said their goodbyes and left Boone and Cassandra alone in the hallway.

“Think they’ll be okay?” Boone asked.

“They’d better be. I spent the better part of four weeks getting them to work together and accept each other for who they are. I’d hate to see them killed by tunnelers.” Cassandra replied with a scowl.

“Speaking of which, you didn’t really tell that general what you planned to do about them.” Boone said giving Cassandra a slightly worried look.

“We’ll be dealing with them.” Cassandra said.

“How exactly?” Boone asked.

“By killing every. Single. One of them.” Cassandra replied slowly.

“So… yeah, I’m just going to trust you on the fact that you know what you’re doing and change the subject.” Boone said as they began walking again, this time for the cafeteria where Susan had promised them food.

“To what?” Cassandra asked curiously.

“Where was everyone when I was at the Lucky 38? I mean, normally at least ED-E is there, but it was just you, me, Wadsworth, and the twins up there.” Boone asked.

“Oh, well, Veronica left a little before you got here; she said that she wanted to check something out and hasn’t been back since. I hope she’s alright, but I’m sure she’s fine. Arcade is down with the Followers, so I don’t need to worry about him.” Cassandra answered.

“I figured as much as far as Arcade goes, but are you sure that Veronica can handle herself wherever it is that she went?” Boone asked

“Like I said, she’ll be fine. It’s hard to keep that woman down.” Cassandra replied.

“Heh, what about the others?” Boone asked.

“Raul is still in D.C., working with that mercenary band that he co-founded and last I heard he was doing alright. Lily just kind of wandered of, I honestly have no idea what happened to her but I hope that she’s alright. Rex is with The King of course.” Cassandra said with a shrug.

“I always felt bad for the mutant.” Boone agreed with a nod.

“Me too.” Cassandra replied.

“Cass is still working on that trade empire?” Boone asked.

“Yep, she’s been instrumental to keeping the strip supplied this whole time. Oh, and she’s damn good to have at poker night as well.” Cassandra replied with a smile as she remembered one of Cass’s more… vulgar stories involving a man, a robot, and a brahmin.

“And then ED-E?” Boone asked.

“As it turns out, Ethan ended up meeting ED-E’s original creator Whitely during his raid on the Enclave a few years before he met me and spared his life. Then, out of the blue he starts talking about the guy and I recognized the name immediately, the reunion was probably one of the most touching things I’ve ever seen.” She confessed with a chuckle.

“I’ll bet it was.” Boone said.

“ ‘Beep boop BEEP!’ ‘Eddie, it’s you!’ ‘Beep beep beep!’ ‘I was so worried about you!’ It actually brought a tear to my eye.” Cassandra told him.

“So our only backup if things go wrong on this are Arcade and your half robotic dog.” Boone stated.

“Yep.” She said casually as they walked into the mess hall.

“Well I guess that there are worse ways to die.” Boone said.

“God, I’m not used to you being this sarcastic.” Cassandra told him with a shake of her head. Boone just shook his head with a smirk. They both got their food, standard issue caravan lunches and a small serving of desert salad. The two old friends ate silently for a few minutes; both thinking over the day’s events until a question suddenly sprang to Boone’s mind.

“Should we be worried about Vegas being destroyed while we’re out here?” He asked.

“No, I’ve been covertly having the securitrons reinforce the land that the city is built on with concrete and steel. I’ve also made some heavy modifications to the walls around the city proper and Freeside, so that they’re equipped with heavy spotlights and bright ambient lights. Most people assume that it’s to make it easier for the snipers on the walls to see their targets, and they’re not wrong per say, but that’s not the real point behind them.” Cassandra explained.

“Oh?” Boone asked interestedly, before taking another bite of salad.

“Yeah, if there’s one thing that I learned while fighting those bastards in the Divide it’s that they’re terrified of bright lights, especially if they’re unexpected ones.” Cassandra replied. “I’m not sure if they’re actually vulnerable to the effects, or just scared on a base level.”

“Hmm… should you warn the Brotherhood about them? Not that I like them, but they’re primarily based in that old bunker and would probably appreciate the warning.” Boone suggested with a slight scowl.

“I plan to.” Cassandra replied crisply.

“So, back to how we get rid of the tunnelers…” Boone said.

“All will be revealed in good time Boone.” Cassandra assured him.

“Last time you said that you got kidnapped.” Boone pointed out.

“Well that won’t happen this time. Besides, that kidnapping turned out great didn’t it?” She asked him with a smirk. Boone rolled his eyes but remained silent; she’d tell him when she thought it was time and not a second beforehand.

***

Back in the present

“So you have no idea where he is?” Twilight asked Celestia.

“None whatsoever dear. In fact, like my sister told you I suspected that he’d somehow made it to your ‘delightful’ mother’s house.” She said, rolling her eyes.

“Tia, I know perfectly well that you find my mother’s sense of humor hilarious so don’t try to cover it up.” Twilight told the alicorn, who chuckled.

“Sorry love, but after centuries of ‘yes princess, whatever may we do for you princess, may I kiss your lovely ass princess.’ it’s rather refreshing to have someone ask me ‘hey tutor, why the fuck did my daughter come home and ask me about how to look at her own eggs to make sure that they weren’t damaged?’” Celestia replied with another chuckle. Twilight rolled her eyes with a sigh.

“I was scared because of all the magic that I’d been experimenting with in my free time.” Twilight said in her defense.

“Twilight, you were ten. We weren’t even on anatomy yet.” Celestia replied, rolling her eyes.

“I was still worried about it.” Twilight said with a frown. “And you can’t blame me, I was ten.”

“I was never blaming you, I just found it funny.” Celestia said with a short giggle. Twilight rolled her eyes. “Anyhow, do you know who might’ve kidnapped Ethan?”

“Has anyone seen Blueblood today?” Twilight asked.

“Now that you mention it, no, he hasn’t been seen all morning…” Celestia said trailing off. “You really think that he’d be foolish enough to kidnap Ethan?” She asked; she answered her own question a second later with a facehoof. “Of course he is. How did this happen to my royal line Twilight?” Celestia asked in exasperation.

“Years of intermarrying and being spoiled by ponies who had no business being parents.” Twilight replied with a shrug.

“Oh, hush.” Celestia said with a roll of her eyes.

“You asked, Tia dear.” Twilight replied with a smirk. “Back to the point, do we know where they’re keeping him?”

“No, I may have lived here for close to a thousand years, but the nobility are always adding new rooms and buildings for their own purposes.” Celestia said with a slight sigh.

“I guess I’ll just have to do things the old fashioned way then.” Twilight said.

“Tracking spell?” Celestia asked.

“Tracking spell.” Twilight agreed with a nod.

“Ethan or Blueblood?” Celestia asked.

“Ethan, at this point I’ve got an emotional connection to him. It’s easier to use that then mane hair or some other object that Blueblood’s left lying around.” Twilight answered.

“Good, now what if they’ve thought of you doing that and have spread his signature throughout the city?” Celestia asked going back to an old strategy that they’d developed while Twilight was younger.

“Easy, I focus in on the place where the signal is either the most intense or least.” Twilight replied confidently.

“Excellent Love, now what if they’ve thought of that and all of those signals are distractions?” Celestia asked.

“Actually, scratch that last step Tia, it’s a waste of energy. Instead I’ll focus on the spell-matrix, and overload or disassemble it. It’ll be a much faster process.” Twilight said with a smirk.

“Mhm, and if they’ve installed traps to kill you if you did that?” Celestia asked.

“Then I’d rely on my excellent sense of self-preservation to see me through them while at the same time splitting my mind so that it doesn’t become too engrossed in the process of disabling the matrix.” Twilight replied crisply.

“And you’re unconcerned about the fact that that spell drains your mental reserves rapidly?” Celestia countered.

“Tia, please. Thanks to our practice I can keep at least two going while they mentally sing ‘I’m the very model of a uncommon unicorn; I’ve magical lore ranging from destruction to conjuration…’ while you have your tongue-” She was cut off mid-sentence as Luna coughed from the doorway, Twilight’s mother was standing beside her, giving her daughter a smirk.

“Oh no, please keep going. I’m always interested to hear how my daughter’s lessons with her tutor are going.” Star said with a chuckle.

“Mom, stop calling her that!” Twilight snapped in an annoyed voice.

“Like I said Twilight, I don’t mind. Anyways, I’d say that you’re prepared to face whatever it is that Blueblood has set up for you. Although I’d feel more comfortable if you took a guard with you just to be safe.” Celestia said, looking thoughtful. “It would have to be someone who had a good knowledge of the city and who knows places where the nobles hide…”

“I think I may know someone who fits those conditions.” Luna said with a smirk.

“Oh, do tell.” Celestia said encouragingly.

“While I don’t know if he has the specific knowledge that you’re looking for, I do believe that Kane should know of at least some possible places, and I’m sure that if nothing else he can protect Twilight very well in this type of situation.” Luna replied with a smile.

“Alright. Well, I’m ready to go, so whenever he gets here he should be ready, so tell him to meet me by the front gate.” Twilight said with a shrug.

“I’ll send him right along.” Luna said with a smile.

***

“And that’s why you don’t put a TOURNIQUET on someone’s neck!” The doctor shouted in Silent’s face. The draconic pegasus slumped in his seat while Kane chuckled from the doorway. “And you.” The doctor said before turning to glare at Kane. “What were you thinking stomping on that hippogriff’s leg like that? Do you do realize that he’ll never walk properly AGAIN?!”

“Actually, yes. That’s kind of why I did it.” Kane replied with a smirk. The doctor stomped towards the assassin angrily. “Besides, now he’ll be easier to catch if he tries to escape.” Kane added with another grin.

“If you weren’t a member of the guard then I’d give you a very stern lecture and a beating kid.” The doctor told Kane threateningly.

“Look Doc, you’re here to lecture him-” Kane said pointing a furry finger at Silent. “-So stop wasting your time on me. Besides, I know each and every vital organ in the pony, griffin, hippogriff, cat, diamond dog, minotaur, sphinx, and dragon body, as well as the right amount of force needed to kill them.” Kane continued.

“That’s real nice for you, it really is. But the fact that you let this kid put a TOURNIQUET on someone’s neck, especially a Princess, means that you need this lecture just as much as he does!” The doctor said indignantly.

“Meh, she was only mostly dead.” Kane replied with a shrug. “Griffins are hard to strangle. Trust me, I know from experience.” He added with a chuckle.

“The point remains she almost died and it was partially your fault for not recognizing the danger that the tourniquet posed.” The doctor told him sternly.

“Yeah, but I was bleeding myself and couldn’t really concentrate on what was going on.” Kane replied while gently rubbing the place that he’d been stabbed.

“Fine, just be quiet while I lecture…” The doctor said with a sigh before turning back to Silent. “So Silent Storm, what should you have applied instead of a tourniquet?”

“Uh, a pressure bandage?” Silent replied uncertainly.

“Yes, very good. Now, how would you splint a broken l-?” The doctor asked Silent, but Kane was no longer paying attention. Princess Luna had tapped him on the shoulder with a hoof.

“Are you recovered from your injury Kane?” Luna asked kindly.

“Hmm? Oh, yeah. I’m fine. That thing that that Ethan guy used on me worked really well.” Kane told her with a shrug. “Really need to thank him; do you know where I can find him?”

“No I don’t, but that’s actually why I came to talk to you.” Luna said.

“Okay…” Kane said as he scratched his chin with a claw.

“We believe that Prince Blueblood has kidnapped Ethan; Twilight Sparkle is going to find him with a tracking spell but she but she needs an escort who knows Canterlot and who can defend her in urban environments.” Luna told him.

“I’m guessing that that’s me, right?” Kane asked.

“Yes, I have the utmost faith in you Kane.” Luna said with a smile.

“Alright then. It’ll get me away from him.” Kane said with nod towards the doctor, who was now explaining in extreme detail how to properly bandage any sort of wound. “Where do I meet her?” He asked.

“She said she’d be waiting by the gate.” Luna told him. “Oh, and please hurry, I don’t want that mare charging into Blueblood’s sinister lair of evil without backup.” She added

“Princess, do you even know Blueblood?” Kane asked with a chuckle.

“What do you mean?” Luna asked uncertainly.

“Tell you what, I’ll bet you that he’s got Ethan chained to the ceiling of his basement over what is probably a metal bowl to collect blood. The rest of the room will be pushily decorated and Blueblood’s guests, if there are any, will be sipping wine from cocktail glasses.” Kane told Luna.

“Hmm… Alright, I’ll take that bet.” Luna agreed with a smile.

“Good, see you in a few hours after I kick Blueblood in the balls.” Kane told her with a nod as he began to walk away.

***

Dash entered the castle infirmary and walked down the hallway; it took her a few seconds to shake off the nervousness that she always got when she went to the hospital, but she was here for Gilda so it didn’t seem as bad. It wasn’t like she was in the hospital after all, and she definitely wasn’t going to let Gilda suffer alone in this horrible hellhole. Dozens of guards were laid up on hospital beds, most of them were Solar Guard, but there were also a few of the Lunar Guard there as well. Dash shook her head and continued down the hallway until she came to a door guarded by four fully armed armored griffins.

Dash had to admit, if there was one race that really knew how to dress for war then it was the griffins. Each of them were covered from head to claw in steel grey chainmail, longswords hung from each of their hips, and powerful crossbows were strapped to their backs. They looked at Rainbow Dash, and for a second she almost flinched under the combined gaze of that many natural born killers staring down their beaks at her. Then, one of the griffins nodded sharply and ushered her through with a foreclaw.

The pegasus nodded gratefully and stepped into the room to find Ambassador Nymira sitting in one of the two chairs next to the bed reading a magazine. Gilda lay in the hospital bed. A slightly red wad of white medical bandages were covering the part of her neck where the blade had pierced the skin, and the feathers all around that part of her neck had been plucked out leaving behind nothing but the pink skin underneath. Her eyes were closed, and her breathing came out in raspy breaths.

Nymira turned her red eyes to stare at Dash as she walked towards the bed, and before Dash could blink the Ambassador had a claw around her throat. Dash tried to let out a cry for help, but found that she couldn’t make a sound. The red eyes stared into her own for a second while Dash struggled for breath, before she was released and hit the floor with a soft thud.

“What the hell was that for?!” Dash gasped softly once she’d regained the ability to speak.

“I had to check whether or not you were a changeling.” Nymira replied with a casual shrug as she returned to her chair and picked up her magazine again.

“Do you really think that I would’ve been able to fool the guards if I was one?” Dash asked as she massaged her throat with a hoof.

“Maybe, who knows?” Nymira replied. “All I do know is that my niece, and the current heir to the throne, is hospitalized and unconscious and I’m the last line of defense. So forgive me if I’m a little overzealous in my guarding.” She added once again, staring at Dash with her red eyes. Dash had to admit to herself that there was something completely unnerving about those red eyes in combination with the snow white feathers and fur.

“Uh… It’s fine.” Dash said after a second and breaking the staring contest that had begun to develop between them.

“Excelent.” Nymira nodded. “So did you come for a specific reason, or are you here to help me keep vigil?”

“The second, I want to be here when she wakes up.” Dash replied.

“Then pull up a chair.” Nymira told her with a nod and a small smile.

***

“So what now Blueballs?” Ethan asked Blueblood as the stallion finally stopped slashing him with the annoying dagger.

“I’ll-I’ll…”

“You’ll what, stab me again while whining?” Ethan asked.

“No, I-I don’t know what I’m going to do to you, but it’ll be bad.” Blueblood said.

“Well I look forward to hearing about it. Oh, and by the way, what time is it?” Ethan asked.

“A little after noon, why do you ask?” Blueblood inquired in confusion.

“Oh nothing.” Ethan said as he shrugged dismissively upside down. In his mind however he was doing a little math, and if what Blueblood was telling the truth about the time, then Twilight would be there soon. In other words, it was time to escalate things a bit. “So Blueballs, did you realize that you’ve seriously broken the law?” Ethan asked.

“Which law?” Blueblood asked.

“Oh you know; the one about kidnapping diplomats.” Ethan replied with a smirk.

“You-you’re not a diplomat!” Blueblood shouted.

“Well actually, my equestrian lawyer, the beautiful and talented mare Frosty Glass, explained the laws to me. And as it stands I do technically represent both the nations of New Vegas and the Capital Wasteland.” Ethan said with a smirk.

“Lies!” Blueblood shouted.

“Nope. Oh, and add to that that I’m a personal friend of Celestia, Luna, and Twilight Sparkle, and I’d say that by kidnapping me you’ve angered three of the most powerful beings on the planet.” Ethan added with another smile. “Did you hear that folks?” Ethan shouted. “This stallion not only kidnapped an ambassador to torture and then kill, but he also managed to piss off three creatures who can invert your genders in the blink of an eye!” Ethan continued. To his satisfaction, he heard uncomfortable murmuring coming from the other ponies in the room.

“Shut up!” Blueblood shouted as he plunged the dagger into Ethan’s stomach, and tore it open only to watch angrily as it healed again. Ethan began to whistle an extremely happy tune about Butcher Pete to himself while Blueblood just stared at him, eyes bulging.

***

“Are you sure this is it?” Twilight asked Kane, who nodded.

“Oh yeah, this is definitely the place where Blueballs is holding him.” Kane told her confidently.

It had taken them the better part of half an hour to get to Blueblood’s mansion, and while Twilight’s magic was definitely pointing towards the mansion, she hadn’t expected it to be pointing towards a small door that led to the basement from the outside. Twilight figured that the polite approach wouldn’t hurt, so she went up to the door and knocked.

“What’s the password?” A voice asked from the other side.

“Sanguine my brother.” Kane said before Twilight could open her mouth.

“Hey Stone, what did you say the password should be?” The voice asked.

“Sanguine my brother.” Another voice replied in a hollow voice.

“Seriously, what’s up with that? I feel like I’m missing a joke here!” The first voice said angrily.

“Dude, read a fucking book. And no, Twilight doesn’t count as a book!” The second voice replied harshly.

“Alright, fuck this.” Twilight said with a sigh. Her horn began to glow for a second before she unleashed a wave of powerful magic that blasted the door open and sent the two guards standing behind it flying to the floor.

“Sithis be with you.” Kane politely told the guards with a smirk.

“Now what?” Twilight asked.

“Now we find your friend.”

Chapter 21

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By the way don't forget to check out Ethan's Tumblr

Edited by TacoTown

Chapter 21

A sudden loud, but distant bang caused every head in the room to turn towards the door to the outside world, even Ethan who was still blindfolded.

“What was that?” Blueblood asked. There were several loud, bloodcurdling screams, along with several loud thumps as bodies were smashed into walls.

“I’d guess that Sparky is here. And judging from the sound, she’s on a warpath.” Ethan replied with a chuckle. Blueblood turned back to Ethan.

“I’ll kill you before your little unicorn can get here.” He said in a low voice.

“No. You won’t.” Ethan replied with a grin as he slipped his arms out of their loose binds, followed by his feet.

He landed on his face but was up and moving before Blueblood had a chance to react. Ethan’s right leg shot out and slammed into Blueblood’s chest, knocking him off balance and causing him to rear up on his back legs. Ethan’s next kick ended up in a fairly predictable place when given such an opportunity, and Blueblood fell to the ground wheezing in pain. He then removed his blindfold. Light assaulted his eyes but they quickly adjusted. The room he was in could’ve been found in a pre-war country club and was posh, well lit, and decorated quite nicely. Well, except or the metal dip in the floor over which Ethan had been hanging, which was stained by his blood. As his eyes scanned the room he caught sight of several nobles who were frozen, staring at him.

“I know that I’m handsome, but it’s really very impolite to stare.” Ethan told them with a smirk.

Twilight burst into the room seconds later, her mane was literally on fire and her eyes were glowing purple beacons of magical energy. Kane was also standing with her, although he was making sure to place himself several feet away from her. The cat’s fur was standing on end, and seemed to be rippling as waves of magic washed over it, much to his easily apparent annoyance.

“Hey Sparky, glad you could make it.” Ethan said with a chuckle as he dodged a feeble tackle from Blueblood and simultaneously tripped the stallion, who smashed face first into the pit where Ethan’s blood was being stored. He emerged spluttering and coughing.

“Ethan, thank Celestia you’re alive.” Twilight said with a sigh of relief.

“Sparky, I’m honestly offended that you thought that this little prick and his crowd of crows could kill me.” Ethan said as he jerked his thumb at the other nobles in the room, who were still frozen in shock.

“You can’t just disappear like this; honestly I thought that you might be out killing your way through half of Canterlot when I first heard that you’d disappeared.” The purple unicorn said in mock exasperation.

“Sorry Sparky, but the temptation was just too much for me to resist when this idiot’s henchmen stormed into my room at 2 a.m. and talked about what he was going to do to me.” Ethan replied with a nod towards Blueblood, who had regained his hooves.

Instead of charging at Ethan, Blueblood’s horn began to glow and Ethan suddenly stiffened in pain. He slowly reached around and pulled the newly bloodied dagger out of the small of his back with a look of shock on his face. He held the dagger in his hand for a second before his eyes dulled and he limply flopped to the ground. Twilight stared in shock at Ethan’s fallen body while Blueblood cheered.

“I DID IT, I KILLED HIM!” The prince shouted.

“Actually no, I’m just fucking with you.” Ethan said with a smirk on his face as he regained his feet.

“ARGH!” Blueblood shouted before he threw himself at Ethan, only to be caught in midair by Twilight’s purple magic. She then slammed him headfirst into the wooden floor with a resounding thunk. Kane took a second to clear his throat, and then said;

“Prince Blueblood, you are hereby charged with kidnapping, the kidnapping of a diplomat, conspiracy to commit murder, attempted murder, and several other laws that I haven’t been accused of yet so I can’t remember them, but I’m sure that Princess Luna will.” Kane told him with a smile. “You are to remain silent, and everything that you say and do can and will be used against you by everyone involved, maliciously in my case.” He added with a larger smile as he grabbed Blueblood out of Twilight’s magical grasp and forced him into a pair of hoofcuffs.

“You’re enjoying this way too much.” Twilight told the cat, who shrugged.

“I’m just enjoying the irony here.” Kane replied. Twilight just raised an eyebrow. She hadn’t been told all that much about the cat except for the fact that he’d been forced to kidnap Shining Star, and then been freed by becoming a member of the Lunar Guard. “Oh, and the rest of you are all under arrest to for crimes including monumental stupidity, aiding in kidnapping of a diplomat, and being accessories to the crime!” The cat shouted. The noble’s faces collectively paled as Kane began to walk among them, slapping pairs of cuffs around their hooves and magic inhibitors around their horns.

“So Sparky, what kept you? I’ve been here with this asshat cutting into my chest with this scrawny little knife for at least two to three hours, I expected you to be at least an hour ago.” Ethan asked with a pointed look at Blueblood, who was struggling to charge them again despite the cuffs.

“I was only told that you were missing around an hour ago Ethan, Tia thought that you’d made your way to my mother’s house where I was sleeping.” Twilight replied with a shrug as her horn lit up and a blast of magic smashed Blueblood into the wall, he fell to the floor with a thump and began to groan.

“And it took you an hour to get here?” Ethan asked.

“Ethan, shut up and be glad that I got here at all, okay.” Twilight told him with a sigh as she grabbed Blueblood in her magic and began to walk towards the door. “Do you have the situation under control?” She asked with a backwards glance towards Kane, who had just finished cuffing the last noble.

“Yeah, I’ll be fine. I’m a professional assassin, and these are my typical targets. They tend to be pretty predictable.” Kane replied with a chuckle. “Oh, and would you tell your brother to send a few more guards to help me get these assholes back to the palace?”

“Sure, try not to hurt them too much.” Twilight told the cat who gave her a lose salute.

Twilight led the way out of the room with Ethan following at her side. As they walked down the hallway, Ethan noticed the bodies several dozen unconscious unicorns. He let out a whistle.

“Wow Sparky, you two did a number on these guys.” He told her with an appreciative grin.

“Thanks, but Kane did most of this.” Twilight replied with a shrug.

“Really?” Ethan asked.

“Yeah, I was surprised. Every time that we came to a new group he’d climb onto the ceiling with his claws and then drop into them. He may not be a real brawler, but with the element of surprise he can do a lot.” Twilight answered. “I just cleaned up the one or two in each group who managed to avoid his initial attacks.” She added with a shrug.

“Huh, he seems a little scrawny to do that.” Ethan said, the cat only came up to his chest.

“Ethan, I just realized something.” Twilight said as they neared the exit of the tunnel.

“What’s that Sparky?” Ethan asked.

“I just realized that you’re naked.” Twilight said with a crimson blush.

“Oh right, I’d forgotten. No wonder you couldn’t keep your eyes off me on the walk.” Ethan said with a chuckle.

“Gah!” Twilight replied eloquently.

“Use your words Sparky.” Ethan encouraged.

“I’ll have to teleport all three of us, unless you want to walk through Canterlot like that.” Twilight said after a second.

“I’ve always liked the feeling of breeze as it caresses my ba-” Ethan began, but was cut off by a glare from Twilight that could’ve cut through steel. “-but I have the oddest feeling that I’d have to fend off a bunch of mares so it’s probably a bad idea” Ethan finished.

“That’s what I thought. Now hold still.” Twilight commanded. Her horn began to glow brighter, and they disappeared in a flash of light.

***

The three of them appeared in Celestia’s bedroom, where the two Princesses were having a discussion of some kind with Twilight’s mother, Star. All conversation stopped as the three mares turned to find Twilight holding an extremely miserable and bruised Blueblood over her head, Ethan being naked probably helped contribute to the silence in its own small way as well. The silence was broken by Shining Armor and Cadence as they walked into the room.

“The HELL?!” Shining shouted in surprise. Artos and Rudy, Celestia’s personal guards, who were standing outside the door peered into the room through the still open door and watched with interest as things developed.

“Oh my.” Star said with a large grin on her face as she looked over Ethan’s naked body. “Twilight dear, you never mentioned that he was so… prestigious.” She added with a wink at her daughter.

“Mo-” Twilight began to protest but was cut off.

“And look at all those scars; he’s certainly looks to be quite the bad boy dear.” Her mother continued as she rose from her seat and began to walk towards Ethan, who cocked an eyebrow at her.

“Sparky, who is this?” He asked.

“I’m her mother, and I can’t believe that Twilight hasn’t mentioned me before.” Star replied with another step forward.

“Sparky’s mom huh? Meh, I can see the resemblance.” Ethan replied with a shrug.

“And you have a pet name for her, how adorable.” Star added as her hooves took her another step towards Ethan.

“Ahem.” Celestia coughed rather loudly in an attempt to redirect the route of conversation.

“Have a drink dear.” Star said before turning back to Ethan. “So Ethan, what does my daughter mean to you?” She asked.

“I’d risk my life for her without hesitation.” Ethan replied with a shrug.

“So have you two had sex yet? She won’t tell me.” Star asked.

“Nope, I’m already married. Besides, no offence to Sparky but she’s not my type, she’s too short.” Ethan replied before turning to Celestia. “Hey Sunny, can we get onto the actual conversation about the asshole who kidnapped me and tried to torture me?” Ethan asked the Solar Princess with a nod towards Blueblood, who cringed as Celestia, Luna, Cadence, and Shining Armor turned the gazes on him.

“So it was you.” Celestia said in a low voice.

“Lies, anything that this vile creature says is a pack of LIES!” Blueblood shouted from within Twilight’s magic.

“I’ll vouch for Ethan on this, as can Kane, whenever he gets back from arresting the nobles.” Twilight said. “Oh, and Shiny? Can you send some of your guards to help Kane get those nobles back?” She added.

“Yeah, sure Twily. After we deal with him.” Shining replied darkly with a glare at Blueblood.

“You don’t honestly believe him, do you?” Blueblood asked incredulously.

“Yes, and just to make sure…” Luna told before trailing off. Blueblood suddenly felt like someone had thrown a bucket of cold water over his back, and he flinched in shock. Luna’s eyes were glowing a dark blue aura and Blueblood found himself looking straight into their depths. “Did you kidnap Ethan and torture him?” Luna asked in a detached tone.

“Yes.” Blueblood answered before he realized what he’d just done.

“Then you are guilty of treason.” Luna continued in her same detached voice.

“I demand a jury of my peers!” Blueblood shouted.

“Nephew, the only ones who are your peers are in this room.” Celestia told him. “As a Prince of Equestria only those of royal blood may judge you properly. I find you guilty as well.” Celestia explained.

“Guilty, and good riddance.” Shining Armor told the Prince.

“Agreed, guilty.” Cadence said with a nod.

“Guilty as charged.” Luna said as her voice changed back to its normal tone.

“That-that’s incredibly unjust!” Blueblood protested.

“You kidnapped and tortured me. Badly, I might add. And here you are arguing about something being unjust.” Ethan said, his voice full of contempt for the unicorn in front of him.

“I-I challenge you to personal combat!” Blueblood shouted. Silence descended on the room for around half a second.

“Deal.” Ethan said quickly.

“Ethan, what are you doing? If you accept his challenge and he wins then he’s absolved of all crimes!” Twilight told the man, who shrugged.

“I’d like it to be public, make an event out of it.” Ethan told Celestia, who narrowed her eyes.

“I suppose I can arrange that.” She mused.

“Excellent. Well, I’m off to take a nap.” Ethan replied with a shrug as he walked out the door completely naked. A few seconds later they heard a mare shriek and the sound of a vase falling to the floor. Twilight dropped Blueblood, where he was quickly grabbed by Shining Armor.

“You’ll be waiting for this duel in one of our cells.” The Captain of the Guard informed Blueblood, who smiled insolently back at him. Shining kicked his legs out from under the Prince, who toppled face first into the floor. “And wipe that sneer off of your face while you’re at it.” Shining said. The Prince was escorted out of the room leaving Cadence, Celestia, Luna, Twilight, and Twilight’s mother.

“So…” Cadence began, but then fell silent; she really had nothing to add.

“Cadence dear, there’s something that I’ve been meaning to talk to you about.” Star said to the pink alicorn.

“What is it mother?” Cadence asked her mother in law.

“I wanted to know if Shining has been treating you right. You know, in bed.” Star told her. Cadence’s already pink cheeks flared an even darker pink.

“Maybe you two can discuss this elsewhere.” Celestia suggested.

“That’s a great idea, come along Cadence.” Star ordered as she walked out of the room. Cadence shot a pleading look towards the other two Princesses and Twilight, who shrugged. They shut the door on their way out.

***

Rudy turned to Artos and said. “You know, we guard doors for a living and we see some of the weirdest shit.”

“Brother, I believe that that is because of whose door we guard.” Artos replied quietly. “Now be quiet before they hear us.”

***

“So when will the duel be?” Twilight asked Celestia who sighed.

“I suppose it’ll have to be today at sunset, that’s the ceremonial time after all and it should be enough time to gather a crowd.” She said.

“I think I should go watch over Ethan.” Luna told them.

“Why?” Twilight asked.

“Because we don’t want him being kidnapped again, and I believe that a certain evil spirit is trying to possess him.” Luna replied.

“Discord?” Twilight asked.

“No, he’s under oath to remain in his stone prison.” Celestia told her.

“Then who?” Twilight asked.

“Nightmare.” Luna said with a shiver.

“But-but we destroyed that with the Elements!” Twilight protested.

“No, you significantly weakened it, enough for me to overpower it. You did not destroy it. The Elements cannot destroy, only purify. Therein lies their weakness.” Luna told her quietly.

“Sister, how long have you known about this possession attempt?” Celestia asked.

“Since yesterday after I traveled into his dreams, they’re being twisted into something that is clearly designed to unbalance him.” Luna answered with a worried expression.

“Go Sister, if it gains possession of Ethan then… Well I would hate to see the aftermath.” Celestia said urgently. Luna nodded and vanished in an ethereal cloud of black fog.

“First diamond dogs, then evil, nearly unkillable wraiths, along with a fucking frost troll, and now Nightmare. I wonder if there’s some kind of god up there who’s giggling to himself while he sends bastard after bastard at us.” Twilight grumbled.

“If there is, I will give him a very painful kick for you.” Celestia told Twilight before she bent down to kiss the unicorn on the lips. “Now we have a little time before I need to return to my duties, how about we find some way to entertain ourselves?” She asked with a sly smile.

“Are you sure that now is the best time Tia?” Twilight asked uncertainly, although she had already begun walking in the direction of the bed.

“Twilight, you’re stressed. The least I can do is help you get rid of a bit of it.” Celestia told her with a wink.

“Well alright, now that you’ve managed to convince me.” Twilight said before she leaned up to give Celestia a kiss.

“I always have such a hard time, don’t I?” Celestia asked with a smirk once she’d broken the kiss.

“Not my fault, you’re a goddess.” Twilight replied breathlessly. “Oh well, I have literally forever to enjoy it.” She added with a chuckle.

“Well then, let’s not waste a second of it.”

Chapter 22

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Chapter 22

Ethan looked around uncertainly; he was at the door of the purifier control room. His father was standing in front of the control room’s console, scowling at him.

“What are you doing here?” James asked, his voice full of disgust.

“I… Don’t know?” Ethan said uncertainly,

“You can’t even let me die without ruining my dreams, can you?” James asked with a sneer.

“Dad, what are you talking about?” Ethan asked in confusion.

“What am I talking about? What am I talking about?!” James shouted. “It’s your damn fault that Catharine died, it’s your fault that I spent nineteen years cooped up in that metal prison, it’s your fault that I DIED!” James shouted as he moved towards Ethan, who started to back away as his father towered above him.

“bu-but dad, I-” Ethan sputtered.

“You are nothing, do you hear me son? And everything that you’ve ever done has meant nothing!” James roared violently.

“But I-I’ve saved the Wasteland!” Ethan protested.

“No you haven’t you little moron. The Brotherhood will become corrupt, the purifier will break, and your wife will stab you in the back when you least expect it!” James screamed as the veins on the side of his neck bulged and his eyes turned bloodshot.

“No, she-she’d never do that.” Ethan said in a quiet, uncertain voice. He’d gotten even smaller compared to his father.

“Oh really? Then I suppose that Boone man that she’s currently FUCKING doesn’t count.” James shouted, making Ethan flinch.

“But-but she and Boone are just friends.” Ethan stammered, causing James to burst into laughter.

“Is that really what you think? Ha! I’ve always known that you were an idiot son, but I didn’t realize just how big of an idiot you were!” James said mockingly.

“Stop it, shut up!” Ethan shouted, his voice came out sounding like a ten year-olds.

“Those children died because of you Ethan, it was all your fault.” James told switching topics with an evil grin.

“No, it wasn’t my fault!” Ethan said with a snivel.

“Then why are they de-”

“HOW DARE YOU!” A new voice suddenly shouted as Luna materialized, standing protectively in front of Ethan. “YOU DARE IMPERSONATE HIS FATHER, YOU FOUL CREATURE!” Luna roared, causing James to stagger backwards under the verbal assault.

“Luna?” Ethan asked.

“The very same.” Luna told him before turning back to James, who had disappeared and been replaced by a ball of darkness.

“Well well well, if it isn’t my old friend Luna. How have you been, darling?” The ball of darkness asked in a mocking feminine voice as it moved towards Luna.

“Do not pretend to know me foul creature, you are nothing.” Luna said in a low dangerous voice.

“Oh contraire little Luna, I am everything.” The ball of darkness said as it morphed before Ethan’s eyes and became a tall black alicorn. “I am everything that you wish to be.” The alicorn said as it took a step forward. “I am everything that you lack.” It said with another step.

“STAY BACK, YOUR POWER HOLDS NO SWAY HERE DEMON!” Luna shouted, forcing the other alicorn back with the sheer power of her voice.

“Oh it doesn’t, does it?” The alicorn asked with a dark chuckle. “You are the guardian of dreams. I am the embodiment of nightmares, and this is most definitely a nightmare.” The alicorn told her with another dark laugh. “So riddle me this little princess. Who really holds sway over this realm if I embody the darkness that it is made of?” Nightmare asked with a sharp toothed grin.

“That…” Ethan said, before his fist struck out like a bolt of lightning sending Nightmare staggering backwards. “Would be ME.” The man finished with a murderous grin. He’d returned to his normal size and was now wearing The Shocker. “I don’t know what you are.” Ethan said as he strode towards the Nightmare. “But if you don’t get the FUCK out of my head I’ll keep you here.” He continued as his metal enclosed fist slammed into the alicorn’s face like a hammer. “And I’m afraid that I’m not a very good host, if you know what I mean.” He said as his malicious grin spread even further across his face until it was almost insane looking.

“Excelent.” Nightmare whispered with a chuckle before she vanished.

“Wha-” Ethan said in confusion. “Where- where did she go?”

“I don’t know.” Luna replied uncertainly. “But no good can come of this Ethan.” She told him softly.

“Who was that?” Ethan asked.

“A spirit, a nightmare.” Luna said with note of both weariness and sorrow entering her voice.

“Does this nightmare have a name?” Ethan asked tiredly.

“Nightmare.” Luna replied.

“Of course, how original.” Ethan said sourly.

“Ethan, you MUST not allow her words to affect you. They were meaningless things meant to steer you off the path of good.” Luna told him.

“You heard what she said and didn’t interrupt her sooner!” Ethan shouted, his eyes blazing with anger.

“Yes, but only because I was only delayed until I could force my way through her magic barriers.” Luna told him with a scowl. “If I had been capable of it I would’ve been by your side in an instant.”

“Well that’s real fucking comforting!” Ethan yelled, causing Luna to flinch.

“Please Ethan, cal-” Luna began.

“Calm down? You want me to calm down?” Ethan asked, interrupting the lunar alicorn mid-sentence. “Well how about you trade places with me huh? I haven’t gotten a decent night of sleep since I got to this world because of that thing tormenting me!” He shouted.

“Ethan, please calm down. I know what it’s like, believe me I do.” Luna told him sincerely.

“THEN HELP ME!” Ethan roared.

“Ethan, you MUST calm down, if you do not then it makes it easier for her to control you.” Luna told the man seriously.

“And what would you know about it?” The man asked angrily.

“Everything Ethan, I know everything about it.” Luna said, lowering her head as a few tears fell from her eyes. Ethan’s rage died, and he walked towards her and wrapped his arms around the Princess’s neck before his own tears began to fall.

“She-she used my father, my fucking father against me Luna, I still hold myself responsible for what happened to him.” Ethan told her.

“I doubt it was your fault Ethan.” Luna said quietly.

“I know it wasn’t, but that doesn’t stop it from hurting.” Ethan admitted softly.

***

The cat’s eyes suddenly opened again as Nightmare found her way back to her current host.

“So things went well I take it?” Her companion asked.

“Oh most definitely.” Nightmare purred with a smile.

“Excellent, the plan is progressing perfectly.”

“Of course it is, my king.” Nightmare said, her eyes yellow eyes flashed as they turned to look in the direction of the room where Prince Shining Star was being kept prisoner. Soon her king would have a new body. One truly worthy of him, and she, she would have a greater reward then even the king.

Ethan sings baby

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Edited by TacoTown

AN: So yeah, this is something that I've been wanting to do for a while and I don't want to wait until the story was over so I've decided to put it up now. It'll tide people over till the next chapter, which I’m already halfway done with, is done. Please don't kill me for this! This is non-canon and takes place in a plane of existence where Ethan isn’t married

Ethan sings

Ethan sat at the high table with all three princesses, along with Shining Armor and Twilight Sparkle. They’d just finished a nice lunch and Twilight had been telling Ethan more about the natural magic of Equestria that controlled some of the finer points of Equestrian life.

“So Sparky, if I’m understanding what you’re saying right then if I burst into song right now then no one in this room will have any choice but to join in?” Ethan asked.

“Well that’s a gross oversimplification of things, but essentially yes, that’s what happens.” Twilight replied with a shrug.

“Well Sparky, I’d just like to say that. I like big butts and I can not lie!” Ethan shouted with a gigantic grin on his face. A familiar tune began to play in the background as Ethan jumped to his feet.

“What?” Twilight shouted in confusion before she got to her hooves as well and began to shake her ass to the beat, as did the rest of the table’s female diners, but not before they stood up and got in front of Ethan.

“You other brothers can't deny

That when a girl walks in with an itty bitty waist

And a round thing in your face

You get sprung, wanna pull out your tough

'Cause you notice that butt was stuffed”

Ethan continued with glee in his eyes as Twilight and the others began to gyrate in front of him. Shining Armor was standing next to him with a look that flitted between utter rage and complete surprise. Luna seemed to be enjoying herself, as did Cadence, who was chuckling while simultaneously making sure that she was mostly in front of Shining.

“Deep in the jeans she's wearing

I'm hooked and I can't stop staring”

Ethan sang shouted as he began to playfully slap Celestia’s flanks, mostly because she was the closest and easiest to reach. The Princess of the Sun turned to glare at him for a second before rolling her eyes and giving him a real shake.

“Oh baby, I wanna get with you

And take your picture

My homeboys tried to warn me

But that butt you got makes-”

Ethan continued with a grin before cutting off and letting the mares finish for him.

“M-m-m-me so horny!”

The four mares stutter shouted at the same time. Twilight looked completely scandalized and rather jealous as well, as she saw her marefriend grind against Ethan’s crotch.

“Ooh, Rump-o'-smooth-skin

You say you wanna get in my Benz?

Well, use me, use me

'Cause you ain't that average groupie

I've seen them dancin'

To hell with romancin'

She's sweat, wet,

Got it goin' like a turbo 'Vette”

Ethan moved away from Celestia and began to repeat the process with Luna who seemed to be enjoying it a lot more than her sister had.

I'm tired of magazines

Sayin' flat butts are the thing

Take the average black man and ask him that

She gotta pack much back”

Then Ethan turned to Shining and pointed while singing.

“So, fellas!”

Shining’s glare had turned into a smile and he answered enthusiastically.

“Yeah!”

“Fellas”

“Yeah!”

“Has your girlfriend got the butt?” Ethan shouted.

“Hell yeah!” Shining shouted back with a wide grin as he gave Cadence’s but a slap causing the mare to shriek playfully.

“Tell 'em to shake it!” Ethan shouted.

“Shake it!” Shining repeated and Cadence obliged.

“Shake it!” Ethan roared as he left Luna and settled back behind Celestia and Twilight.

“Shake it!” Shining repeated and gave Cadence another firm slap.

“Shake that healthy butt!

Baby got back!” Ethan finished the song with a giant grin on his face as the three princesses plus Twilight finished their dances with one last shake of their hips.

Luna was the first to recover. She turned around and gave Ethan a kiss on the lips before walking out of the room chuckling while Ethan looked at her stunned as she strutted out the door.

“I’ll be waiting in my room for you.”

Celestia recovered next, she turned, gave Ethan a dirty look, and then slapped him. Ethan discovered that being slapped by a horse’s hoof hurts significantly more when that hoof is clad in a golden horseshoe. Then Celestia gave him a fiery kiss that almost knocked Ethan off his feet before the alicorn turned to Twilight and gave her the same. The mare let out a moan, and Celestia departed, carrying the mare aloft in her golden magic.

“So, that happened.” Shining said with a sigh while he wiped away a bead of sweat from his forehead.

“I certainly enjoyed it, that’s the best song that I’ve gotten to dance to in years!” Cadence said before she turned to give Shining a passionate kiss on the lips. “Why don’t we find somewhere else to be?” She asked him coyly.

“Works for me.” The stallion replied with a dreamy grin.

Ethan was left alone in the room, so he took out a Nuka Cola that he’d kept in his duster pocket for just such an occasion before striding after Luna.

He’d gotten an invitation for sex with a goddess after embarrassing her family.

It was a good day.

Chapter 23

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Chapter 23

“Tia, there’s something that’s been bugging me.” Twilight said as she lay next to Celestia on the large bed. Both mares had taken a bath a few minutes prior to wash away any sweat that had collected while they were enjoying each other, and now they were lazing around, waiting for the duel.

“What’s that my dear?” Celestia asked as she pulled Twilight closer to her side with her wing.

“Why is a dragon’s name Jonathan of all things? I mean, it just doesn’t sound very draconic to me.” Twilight asked causing Celestia chuckle.

“He’s Trotish, the dragons there follow the same naming convention as the ponies of old.” Celestia explained.

“Okay, I guess that explains why one’s name is Laurence, but why are the other two named Tem and Izy?” Twilight asked.

“They’ve shortened them; their real names are Temeraire and Iskierka, and no, don’t ask me why Iskierka calls herself Izy, because I don’t know.” Celestia said with a shrug.

“But those aren’t old Trotish names!” Twilight protested. “And if he’s Trotish then why doesn’t Jonathan speak in a Trotish accent?”

“Dear, it doesn’t really matter right now. If you want more information then take it up with the dragons.” Celestia replied with a smile. “Trust me. Once you get them started they don’t stop talking until you’ve fallen asleep, and knowing you that would be after three days of intense note taking.” Celestia added with a smirk.

“Hurmph.” Twilight replied with a small grumble. They sat in contented silence for several minutes simply enjoying the sensation of being next to the pony that they loved, until Celestia’s body suddenly stiffened.

“Oh, that’s not good.” Celestia whispered.

“What’s not good?” Twilight asked.

“Apparently the Nightmare has been visiting Ethan in his sleep since he got here.” Celestia said in a low tone. “She’s been preying upon his fears and his inhibitions to wreck as much havoc inside his mind as possible.” She continued.

“That… would explain some things. The slaughter of the children has probably been giving her more of a hoofhold then she’d normally find…” Twilight mused. “So what do we do to help him?” Twilight asked.

“We give him as much kindness and support as we possibly can Twilight. Meanwhile, Luna says that she’ll patrol his dreams much more frequently than before. Unfortunately the Nightmare is impossible to detect from outside of the Dream Realm and it was only by chance that Luna was able to discover her in the first place.” Celestia explained with tired eyes.

“That’s not good…” Twilight said softly.

“No, no it is not. But it is all that we can do.” Celestia replied with a sigh. “Come Twilight, it is time to watch Blueblood get his sorry rump handed to him.” The white alicorn said as she rose to her hooves.

***

Kane and Silent were standing next to each other on the upper ring of the arena, scanning the crowd for anything suspicious among the hundreds of ponies who’d come to watch the spectacle. Luckily, even Kane’s keen cat eyes were finding nothing. The arena that they were in was the same arena that he’d seen Celestia and Luna duel in the year before while he was on in between assignments; unfortunately he didn’t have a queen under his arm this time and he didn’t see a way to correct that any time soon.

“Hey Kane, I’ve been wondering about something to do with cats, and I wasn’t sure whether or not it was alright for me to ask about, but the way I see it if it’s not alright then you won’t answer me so there’s no harm done either way.” Silent said as his red mane bobbed up and down atop his head from underneath his silver helmet.

“Go ahead and ask kid, my people aren’t exactly all that defensive about our culture.” Kane replied with a shrug as he began to clean his paw.

“Well I wanted to know who Bast is, I mean you swear by her, but I’d never heard of her before you came along.” Silent said uncertainly.

“That’s not surprising really.” Kane replied with a chuckle. “Bast is the goddess of cats.” The cat continued with a shrug.

“But if she’s a goddess then why haven’t I ever heard of her?” Silent asked.

“Because she’s Bast, Goddess of Cats.” Kane replied with a smirk. “She does what she wants and wants what she does.” He added with another chuckle.

“Well, that was extremely useful information.” Silent said with an annoyed grumble.

“She’s not like Celestia or Luna; she’s a wanderer who goes from one place to another with no real rhyme or reason. It’s one of the reasons that I always treat queens right; you never know when your goddess has decided to test your character.” Kane replied with a shrug. “Well that, and the fact that queens are more likely to hide you from guards if you treat them right.” Kane added with a smirk.

“Just how many queens have you slept with?” Silent asked curiously.

“Lots kid, lots.” Kane replied with a smile as his eyes continued to scan the crowd until they settled upon the figure of Ethan Smith entering the arena. Even from his higher perspective the cat could tell that there was something a little off about Ethan. His face was a lot darker then he’d seen it last, with his mouth set into an almost angry scowl.

“Looks like things will be starting soon.” Silent observed.

“Yes it does, I’m interested to see how this goes.” Kane agreed.

“As am I.” A mare’s voice said unexpectedly from behind them. Kane jumped half a foot in the air and turned with a knife at the ready, his fur had puffed out and his tail was darting back and forth. The cat found himself face to face with a smirking Luna.

“I hope you weren’t planning to stab me Kane.” She said with a chuckle.

“I don’t like it when people sneak up on me, so please don’t, it makes me feel stabby.” Kane told her through gritted teeth before he let out a sigh and his fur began to settle back into its normal position with the help of a few licks.

“I’m sorry Kane, no offence was meant. I was just coming to check up on the only two of my guards who decided to show up to this little event.” Luna told him with a soothing smile.

“It’s fine… old habits die hard.” Kane told her with another calming sigh as he sheathed his dagger.

“I apologize; it was foalish of me.” Luna admitted.

“So Princess, would you mind telling me why Ethan looks like he’s been through Tartarus? I mean, I haven’t known him long, and I’ve talked to him even less, but he looks troubled.” Kane asked Luna who sighed.

“He’s been having trouble sleeping.” Luna replied enigmatically, ending the conversation as a loud blast of trumpets announced the arrival of Prince Blueblood.

“What a prick.” Kane muttered to himself, he heard a chuckle and turned to see Luna covering a smirk with her hoof.

“Unfortunately, I’m required to sit with my sister during this little show, so I must say goodbye.” She told them before vanishing.

“Our Princess is weird.” Kane told Silent who nodded, for once he actually matched his name. His attention was fully concentrated on the two fighters.

***

Princess Celestia sat watching the combatants as they traveled to their respective sides and began to prepare for the battle that they were about to partake in. Cadence and Shining Armor sat beside her in the royal viewing box, along with the other Elements and the two Ambassadors and Gilda, who was looking much better, especially with Dash snuggled up beside her. Celestia internally congratulated herself for that particular move of diplomatic strategy. A brown coated stallion wearing a suit was also present in the box, he was… a university professor and he kept wagging his eyebrows at Celestia, who pointedly ignored him while the rest of the box’s dwellers occasionally shot him mystified looks.

Twilight was down on the arena floor acting as Ethan’s second, a position that Shining had also volunteered for but his sister had shot him down. The man’s face was dark and his eyes were filled with anger, he’d chosen to forego his shock sword and instead had opted to use the sword that Jonathan had given him by way of apology for their misunderstanding. The black pommel inset with a single ruby seemed familiar to Celestia, although she wasn’t exactly sure why… A blast of trumpets announced Blueblood’s arrival; the stallion sauntered into the arena grinning widely, an ornate blade inset with diamonds and opals flashed through the air next to his head and his blonde mane was done up in a ponytail.

“How close do you guys think this will be?” Dash asked her friends.

“Short, painfully short.” Sharp answered before anyone else could talk.

“I don’t know about that. Blueblood, despite all his other failings, is a damn good fencer.” Shining put in grudgingly. “On the other hand, I’ve dueled Ethan, and even if I wasn’t exactly at my best at the time I can tell you that he knows what he’s doing.” He added.

“Regardless of whoever wins there’s sure to be plenty of chaos to go around.” The brown professor said with a chuckle; Celestia shot him a glare, but he only grinned. A flash of light interrupted any arguments as Luna appeared in the box.

“I hope I didn’t miss anything Sister.” Luna told Celestia, who shook her head.

“Not at all Luna, I believe that we are about to st-” Celestia began before being interrupted by an enthusiastic mare’s voice.

“HELLO CANTERLOT!” The magically amplified voice shouted seemingly all around them. “I’m Vinyl Scratch, and this is EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HISTORY!” Vinyl shouted. “Wait, what?” Vinyl’s voice asked in confusion as another voice whispered something. “So this is an actual fight?” A few more whispers. “Oh-” The voice began again before it switched to a more refined, if extremely irritated, sounding other mare’s voice.

“My apologies, she’s rather thick at times.” The new voice said.

“Octy!” The Vinyl one protested.

“Anyways, I’m Octavia, and my co-announcer here is Vinyl Scratch. Today we will bear witness to the duel of Ethan Smith, The Lone Wanderer, and Prince Sunstone Blueblood. The rules are as follows; 1. This is not an ordinary duel, any strategy or talent may be used as long as it does not involve using magic for any purpose besides levitation of swords. 2. You may not at any time take control of your opponent’s sword with your magic. 3. As I said earlier this is not an ordinary duel, the fighting will continue until one of the combatants can no longer continue. That can be achieved in any manner ranging from immobilization of the opponent using pressure points to unconsciousness to even death.” Octavia said, sounding more and more disturbed as she read the list.

“This is going to be awesome!” Vinyl exclaimed.

“Tia, why are a DJ and a cello player our announcers?” Luna asked her sister in confusion.

“They were the best I could find on short notice.” Celestia said apologetically.

“Well I don’t mind, I just find it a bit odd.” Luna replied with a shrug.

“Just go with it sister, the sooner this is over the sooner we can get back dealing with our real problems. Like the two countries that want to crush each other for sport and the fact that our young nephew has been kidnapped by the Nightmare.” Celestia whispered curtly.

“Do we know that it was her?” Luna whispered back.

“No, but who else could it be at this point?” Celestia replied.

“Um… Aunties? The duel’s about to start.” Cadence said, interrupting the conversation. Celestia and Luna turned their gazes towards the arena floor, where the two combatants were circling each other.

***

Ethan’s dark icy blue eyes gazed at the blonde unicorn with unsettling intensity. The bastard, or hand anda half, sword that he’d gotten from Jonathan was held loosely in his right hand, and his gaze kept switching between Blueblood’s gaudy blade and the stallion’s eyes. The blade’s odd red steel burned with inner fire that sent a thrill along Ethan’s arm. He was wearing the black undershirt and pants that he wore underneath his power armor. Somewhat because he wasn’t supposed to wear anything with actual armor for this, but mostly because he hadn’t told Rarity that he’d ruined her armor yet and didn’t feel up to dealing with her at the moment. The man sent his sword flowing towards Blueblood, but it was easily slapped aside by the stallion.

“Hahahah, and here I was expecting a challenge.” Blueblood told Ethan while laughing patronizingly. “Instead, your dueling skills seem to be subpar while mine ar-” Ethan’s next swift strike interrupted Blueblood mid spiel, but the horizontal slash was parried just like the last. “Where’s that tongue that you were scolding me with earlier monkey? You were so very talkative before and now you’re just staring at me with a blank look.” Blueblood asked as he sent a slash flying towards the man’s neck; Ethan’s red blade shot up and deflected it but the counter looked rather… slow.

“Talk to me monkey, it’s not fun when you’re not speaking!” Blueblood commanded as his blade flashed through an extremely quick pattern of swings that Ethan blocked all of, but his movements looked clunky. It was as if he’d had a ten pound weight strapped to each of his arms. The red blade of Ethan’s sword flashed out like a brand of fire and slashed towards Blueblood’s chest, but Blueblood jumped back away from the blade and his own blade took a slash of its own at Ethan’s arm. The blade slashed through the thin material easily, drawing blood from the man’s arm.

“First blood is mine monkey!” Blueblood crowed.

“Octy, what’s going on down there?” Vinyl’s voice said suddenly from the press box.

“It appears that Prince Blueblood has claimed first blood.” Octavia explained.

“Does that mean anything?” Vinyl asked.

“More honor I suppose.”

Blueblood pressed his advantage and his sword became a blur of light as it whirled around Ethan, who seemed to be blocking every swing or strike with little to no trouble, minus his newfound slowness.

***

“I-I don’t get it, he should be creaming Blueballs if half of the stories that Twilight told us are true!” Dash exclaimed.

“Indeed, he seems to be having much more difficulty then I first sus-” Sharp agreed, but then stopped. “-ah, I see his game.” The hippogriff said with a sudden stomp of his back hoof.

“I think so as well. I’ve fought him, if he’s going to do what I think he’s going to do…” Shining said with a nod of agreement towards the hippogriff.

“What’s he doing?” Rarity asked. She was not one for blood sports, but she did have an appreciation for fighting when necessary.

“You’ll see.” Shining said enigmatically.

“Heh, this should be good.” Nymira said, catching on to the general theme of Ethan’s fighting style.

***

“Pathetic, simply pathetic.” Blueblood said as he backed Ethan into the wall of the arena. “Well this will hopefully be the end of your miserable existence.” The blonde stallion said with a wicked grin as his blade swept at Ethan’s neck. Only instead of his neck the sword skittered off of the solid stone walls of the arena; the man had sidestepped the swing at the last possible moment. A small smile was sliding onto Ethan’s face as he raised his blade hand up to his mouth and blew Blueblood a kiss.

“I think you might have missed me Blueballs, why don’t you give it another try?” Ethan asked with a dark chuckle. All the slowness had vanished from his step and although his eyes were still hard and dark they now glittered with amusement.

“Oh look, you’ve found your voice again. Well, until I behead you of course.” Blueblood said before his sword was sent in a sweeping flurry of blows that Ethan’s red blade deflected them with almost contemptible ease.

“How are you doing with that whole beheading thing?” Ethan asked as he took a step closer. “Because from where I’m looking it doesn’t seem like you’re doing very well at all.” He added with a devilish smirk, tapping his un-slit neck mockingly.

Blueblood let out a howl of rage and his blade whistled through the air as it attempted to skewer Ethan through the eyesocket. The red blade rose and knocked the Prince’s sword aside before the man sent it hissing towards the side of Blueblood’s neck. The stallion recovered quickly and hopped backwards in an attempt to dodge the swing. Unfortunately for him, the blade cleaved through the fur and flesh of the side of his neck before continuing through without pause, causing blood to well up from where the skin had just been violently removed.

“Oh, I think that that might scar a bit.” Ethan said with mock concern in his voice. Blueblood took a staggering step away from the man as he cast a simple healing spell that he’d learned to stop blood loss on his neck. “Heh, you can heal. I’m honestly surprised you actually put out enough effort to learn how to do that.” Ethan said with a chuckle as the blood stopped flowing from Blueblood’s neck wound. “Of course, you even getting a chance to put out at all is a funny thought Blueballs.” He added.

“SHUT UP!” Blueblood shouted as his sword darted towards Ethan’s chest; Ethan’s red blade shot out and met it half way before the man executed a quick wrist motion that sent the blade tumbling out of Blueblood’s magical grip.

“And checkmate.” Ethan told the blonde stallion with a smirk.

“I don’t need a sword to kill you.” Blueblood growled as a bolt of electricity shot from his horn at Ethan’s chest. The Prince had cheated!

The man’s eyes widened, he was too close to dodge the bolt. He entered VATS and quickly ran through his options. He could take the bolt head on and hope that he’d survive, he could attempt to dodge it, or he could try and cut it in half with his sword. With a sigh Ethan positioned himself so that the blade was ready, and then time resumed. The red blade slashed downward and split the energy in two with a mighty hiss like that of some great serpent. The crowd gasped in shock.

“Wh-what?” Blueblood asked in confusion. Lightning ran along the edges of the red blade, crackling ominously as Ethan looked at the sword with an equally perplexed expression.

***

“That scaly son of a BITCH!” Celestia shouted inside of their magically soundproofed box.

“What is it Tia?” Luna asked in confusion. The rest of the box’s occupants were eying her worriedly. Ambassador Sharp was raising an eyebrow and Ambassador Nymira was smirking slightly, it wasn’t often that things made Celestia react that violently to things.

“Jonathan gave Ethan the sword of Nastallion!” Celestia seethed. “I thought the blade looked familiar! All this time I’ve been looking for it and the stupid drake’s been keeping it in his cave.” She added with an annoyed snarl.

“Um, Princess? Yer hair is on fire.” Applejack said nervously.

“It’s harmless.” She replied before turning back to Luna. “I’m going to be having very strong words with Jonathan once all this is over; I’ve been looking for that sword for several centuries and the fact that that drake has been keeping it in his cave for so long is infuriating.”

“Sister dear, as interesting as that is I think we have a bigger issue.” Luna told Celestia with a nod towards the ongoing confrontation.

“And what would that be?” Celestia asked.

“The fact that Ethan is smiling like a madpony down there.” Luna replied. “Tia, this is bad. I think he means to kill our nephew, not that I’d be opposed to that, but I’m not sure whether your little ponies are ready to see that.” Luna added with a snort.

“I’m sure that he’ll restrain himself.” Celestia said with a shrug.

“Tia, he’s currently mentally unstable and comes from a place where the death sentence is delivered as casually as a fine is here.” Luna insisted.

“Hmm…” Celestia mused. “I’ll intervene if things go too far; until then let’s watch and see how badly Ethan maims him.” She added with a slight smile.

“I thought you cared for him.” Luna whispered.

“I do, but he’s become a problem Luna. A problem on a scale large enough to plunge Equestria into a war that we want no part of and have almost managed to defuse.” Celestia whispered back.

“I see. Well then, let’s watch and be ready to intervene if necessary.” Luna said before turning back to the arena.

***

“Vinyl, you’re the unicorn here, do you know what just happened?” Octavia’s voice asked over the loud speakers.

“Well Octy, I’d guess, and I’m not a magic expert, but it looks like his sword has been buffed with magic absorption, means he’ll probably deal more DOT and it might buff his mana.” Vinyl replied. Apparently Octavia was giving her a skeptical look. “What? I played a lot of games when I was younger.”

***

Ethan’s eye had locked on Blueblood’s, and a wide smirk crossed his face. He didn’t know how his sword had done what it had, but he was sure as hell going to enjoy it.

“I HAVE THE POWER OF THUNDER!” He shouted dramatically before he sent his sword swishing dramatically by Blueblood’s face, making the stallion jump back. “PRINCE BLUEBLOOD! YOU HAVE COMMITED THE CRIME OF TREASON!” Ethan continued with a forward swing that missed Blueblood by inches “FOR THIS CRIME I SENTENCE YOU TO-” Ethan stopped yelling and whispered “-being publicly embarrassed!” Ethan whispered before he brought the flat end of his blade crashing into the side of Blueblood’s head, sending him crashing to the ground.

Blueblood let out a groan as he attempted to regain his hooves, but Ethan’s blade shot out and smashed into the his forelegs knocking them out from under him.

“No, I think not. I think you’ll be staying down there.” Ethan told the Prince with a deceptively friendly tone.

“Barbarian.” Blueblood muttered.

“Well, I come from a place where three out of every five people die before they’re twenty five, so yeah. I guess I am a bit of a barbarian now that you mention it.” Ethan said lightheartedly. “In fact, I’m feeling a little barbarous right now.” He added with a smirk. His sword shot out and sliced through Blueblood’s glorious blonde mane. The mane fell to the sandy arena floor, and quickly began to float away on the breeze.

“My mane!” Blueblood growled weakly.

“So Blueblood. You care about your honor, right?” Ethan asked rhetorically.

Blueblood growled in anger and frustration.

“So I’ve been thinking about this duel. It’s supposed to be to the death, or at least until you’re unconscious right?” Ethan asked.

“Yes.” Blueblood growled.

“Well I’ll bet that It would be really humiliating for you to have to lie down there while I refuse to spill any more of your blood. You know, because I’m a better man then you. After all, mercy is the mark of a great man.” Ethan explained before his blade lashed out and stabbed Blueblood in a nonlethal part of his chest. “Guess I'm just a good man.” Ethan said with a shrug “Well, I'm alright.” he said before he stabbed Blueblood again in the same place and then slapped him across the face with the flat of the blade again.

“Honestly, though you’re beneath my notice Prince, Stay out of my way and accept the rest of your sentence in silence or I’ll be back and I’ll kill you in a long painful fashion that’ll make what you did to me seem like a spa treatment.” The man added in a low voice. Then he wiped the blood off of his sword on Blueblood’s barely conscious neck and sheathed the sword before walking away from the Prince, who was now sprawled across the arena’s sandy floor.

***

“And it looks like we have our victor folks! And without a single death, how unexpected!” Vinyl told the crowd.

“Vinyl, remind me never to make that man angry with me.” Octavia told Vinyl quietly once they’d turned their microphones off.

“Don’t worry Octy, I’ll keep you safe.” Vinyl told her with a chuckle.

***

Twilight met Ethan by the gateway out of the arena with large eyes full of equal parts surprise and concern. Ethan let out a slight sigh.

“Sparky, we’re leaving in two hours. Get a survivalist pack packed and ready to go. We’ve got a child to save.” Ethan told her strictly. There was no laughter in his voice, no room for questions.

“I’ll get one ready to go.” Twilight said with a nod.

“Good, I’ve let myself become distracted for too long now and I’m sure that that your nephew has been suffering for it.” He added with a scowl.

“I’m surprised you didn’t kill him.” Twilight said, mentioning Blueblood as her horn began to glow.

“He’s not worth my time.” Ethan replied. Then they vanished.

***

“Prince Sunstone Blueblood. You are hereby found guilty of treason. For your crimes you shall have your stallionhood stripped from you, as well as all of your status, your estates, and your finances.” Princess Celestia calmly told Blueblood as he stood in front of a crowd of nobles where were watching with interest.

“Furthermore, you are banished from Equestrian soil until the end of your life and beyond, so mote may it be.” Luna said with a small smile. The air shivered at her last words and Blueblood’s body was suddenly lifted into the air in twin rays of blue and gold light. Blueblood was obscured from view for several seconds before he was lowered back to the ground looking significantly less masculine.

“You’ll be given an escort out of the country and if you’re seen again within our borders then you’ll be shot on sight.” Celestia continued, giving the newly made mare a stern look.

“Bu-but Auntie!” The mare gasped.

“You committed treason niece, the only reason that you’re still alive is the fact that you’re related to Celestia.” Luna told him harshly. “Guards, take her away.” She decreed. Blueblood was then unceremoniously hauled away screaming and crying by several guards.

Interlude: The Assassin and the Princess

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Edited by TacoTown

Interlude: The Assassin and the Princess

Kane was restlessly tossing a small plastic red ball against the wall across from his bed, and then catching it as it rebounded. It was a strategy that he’d learned years ago while on a particularly boring job; the target herself was interesting, but the job required him to spend four nights waiting on a cold rooftop, freezing his balls off. On the bright side he’d killed the target, made a clean getaway, and found a new way to pass the time, all in the same night. Silent was asleep in the bunk across from him, but the cat just couldn’t fall asleep. He sighed, there was something that he just couldn’t get out of his mind, but he didn’t even know what it was…

“I would’ve expected a ball of yarn to be of more interest to you.” Luna said jokingly from the doorway.

“Yarn is for kittens.” Kane replied simply as he caught the ball again and then threw it back.

“Tell me what is on your mind Kane; it is my duty to know the feelings of my guards and you seem particularly broody this evening.” Luna said as she took a seat on the bed next to the cat. The cat tossed the ball again before he turned to look at Luna.

“I can’t believe that you didn’t kill Blueblood. You do realize that she’s just going to cause more problems now that she’s been banished, right?” The cat asked before he licked one of his claws.

“Yes, I’m aware.” Luna said with a frown.

“Then why is she still alive?” Kane asked, he caught the ball and put it down beside him before turning to stare at Luna.

“Because it wasn’t my decision, it was Tia’s.” Luna said with a sigh. “She believes that there is still something salvageable within Blueblood’s character. I myself would’ve preferred it if we had just killed him and been done with it.” She added with a shake of her head.

“And turning him into a mare, was that your idea?” Kane asked with a roll of his eyes.

“No, I wanted him gelded, Tia compromised.” Luna told him with a matching roll of her eyes.

“At least tell me that she’s sterile!” Kane said exasperatedly.

“Unfortunately, no. Tia said something about that not being humane.” Luna said with a disserve snort.

“Gah, now she’s going to foster a clan of revenge seeking brats.” Kane said, throwing his paws in the air in frustration.

“I doubt it.” Luna replied.

“Oh, why is that?” Kane asked.

“Because I may have made a few minor illegal changes to her phycology. They were very small, but not unnoticeable. In layman’s terms, I essentially rid her of her need for revenge.” Luna told him. Kane let out a low whistle.

“And you think that that’ll be the end of it?” Kane asked.

“No, which is one of the reasons that I’ve come to you Kane.” Luna told him.

“I see, when should I leave?” Kane asked as he began to rise from the bed; Luna’s insistent hoof stopped him before he could finish rising.

“You are not leaving; your duty is with me now.” Luna said firmly. “I am here because I would like your recommendation on who I should charge with the duty of killing Blueblood should the need arise.” She explained.

“And you came to me for this because?” Kane asked.

“You’re one of the foremost assassins in the world and have taken down top members in the courts of every nation on this side of the world, and some of the others if some of the things that Epona said last time that I saw here were true.” Luna told him.

“But what makes you think that I would know who you should pick; expert assassins don’t all hang around in the same bar and swap stories about the people we’ve killed. That’s the kind of thing that gets you killed in my line of work.” Kane told her with a shrug.

“I’m not going to arrest them Kane!” Luna said sensing the real reason for the cat’s evasiveness.

“Look Luna, I’m sworn to you, but you’re hardly sworn to me. Sure, I know several friends who could easily keep watch over Blueblood and kill her if she ever gets to be a real problem. The problem being that they’re all wanted for murdering royalty of some kind or another and I really doubt that they’d trust anyone who asked them to work for you, even me.” The cat explained with a frown.

“Surely there must be someone out there who would work with us for the right price!” Luna exclaimed in annoyance.

“You asked me for a recommendation, there are plenty of assassins out there who’d risk working with you, but I can’t recommend any of them.” Kane told her with a shrug.

“But surely if you talked to them first then they’d work with me!” Luna exclaimed in frustration.

“I’ve seen several of them watching me from rooftops; they’ve seen me running around in guard armor. At this point I’m not sure how much trust they’d put in my word.” Kane told her. “Although I might be able to get in contact with an old friend who should still trust me, for a small price of course.” He added with a wink

“Kane, what do you want?” Luna asked.

“I was thinking a kiss.” Kane said with a dashing smile, Luna’s eyes widened in surprise.

“But I thought you were only into queens.” She said in surprise.

“Well I haven’t seen many of them here in Canterlot, so I suppose I’ll have to make do with a princess.” Kane continued with a smooth smirk.

“So what kind of kiss would you like?” Luna asked with a small, seductive smirk.

“Oh a little tongue, nothing too extreme.” Kane replied with a grin.

Luna leaned forward and their mouths met, and then Luna’s jerked back suddenly in surprise.

“Ow, ow, ow, what’s wrong with your tongue? It’s like it has barbs on it!” Luna exclaimed.

“That’s because it does. I’m a cat, remember.” Kane replied simply with a chuckle.

“You knew that that was going to happen!” Luna accused.

“Yep. Problem Princess?” Kane asked with a smirk. “I guess I’ll just be the one who got away.” He added. Luna glared at him for several seconds before she took the initiative and leaned forward again.

“Bring it on kitty.” She said before she once more locked lips with the cat and began to force him down onto the bed.

Silent, who had just been awakened by Luna’s exclamation, took one look at the scene before him and made a hasty, and surprisingly silent, rush for the door.

“You said you wanted a kiss, how would you like to have a little more?” Luna asked as she looked down at Kane.

“As long as it’s casual with no strings attached, and you don’t expect me to wear a suit then I’m fine with going however far you want to go.” Kane told her with a chuckle.

“But first you’ll give me the name of your friend.” Luna told him.

“Fine. His name is Tennant, he’s a pegasus. I’ve worked with him for years and I trust him with my life” Kane told her. “Now let’s get down to business.”

Chapter 24

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FUCK WRITER'S BLOCK THE NEXT CHAPTER IS FINALLY DONE!

Edited by TacoTown

Chapter 24

Ethan and Twilight stalked down the hallway silent as jaguars, and at least twenty times a deadly.

“We make this quick Twilight. We get the info that we need, and then we head out. We rescue the Prince, and kill whatever it is that’s holding him hostage. Then we bring him back to Canterlot and kill anything that gets in our goddamned way.” Ethan said. His voice was as hard and cold as a mighty glacier, and Twilight almost pitied the Nightmare, almost.

“Sounds good Ethan.” Twilight replied with a nod.

“Good, now let’s do this.” Ethan said as they reached the door to his room.

Then, he jumped into his bed fully dressed, and shut his eyes. Twilight’s horn glowed, and she grunted slightly as the sleeping spell raced through her horn and then on into the man’s body. Ethan’s body was engulfed in a purple light that vanished seconds later. Twilight let out a sigh and got into the bed and lay beside her friend, her head resting against his chest. She wished that there was another way, but there wasn’t. Now their only option was to use Ethan’s mind as bait with no real way of defending it outside of the man’s determination and Twilight brain, which had thought up this little scheme.

***

Ethan’s dreamscape flowed and twisted around him; he didn’t know why but there seemed to be an awful lot of floating islands around. The man shook his head, this neither the time nor the place to be distracted by the scenery. He absentmindedly kicked a rock, and watched it as morphed into a radroach which was then squashed under the feet of a rather large deathclaw that wandered by. The deathclaw was then pounded into paste by Liberty Prime.

“Death to all communist reptiles!” The giant robot said in an echoing voice before it saluted Ethan and wandered ponderously away.

“Yep, it’s my mind alright.” Ethan muttered. “Now I’ve got to get there.”

Twilight had designed the spell so that the Nightmare wouldn’t be aware of his presence in the dreamscape until he wanted it to. Which left the real question as where would it hide, Twilight had said that it would probably pick the place that terrified him the most in an attempt to keep his subconscious from noticing it. That was bad; there were very few places that scared Ethan these days and he could only think of one that would attract something like the Nightmare.

Ethan gulped and started down the cracked concrete road that materialized in front of his feet. A fey wind rippled through his duster and set the leather coat’s tail fluttering, and a small trail of dust whipped down the road and engulfed the man before passing him by like a piece of detritus, not important enough to know its mission. The rest of the landscape solidified and he was walking along any other ruined highway in the Capital Wasteland, his destination closing in.

It was a squat, two-story building made out of black metal and dusty stained glass. Ethan suppressed a reflexive shudder as a feeling of absolute dread settled upon him, almost overriding his courage. But no, they needed the information that the Nightmare held, and this old horrible place was the only place that it could be found. During his musing Ethan had closed the distance with the door and his hand was gently toying with the knob. Then, with a smile of firm determination he gently pushed the door open.

***

Cassandra’s eyes gazed across the varied faces before her. She sat at the head of a long conference table, mahogany of course. Boone stood behind her imposingly, first recon beret firmly in place on his head along with his aviators. They were both wearing their reinforced riot gear, although Cassandra was also wearing a small, but visible, necklace with a copy of the Lucky 38 on it. Every major player who had a foothold in New Vegas was sitting at the table looking at her.

The King himself sat at her immediate right, with Pacer standing behind him. The man’s eyes flicked back and forth taking in the diverse mix of people in the room. As always, a small smile was tugging at his lips and he looked like he could burst into song at any second if given the opportunity. Pacer just looked nervous and uncomfortable and his hands occasionally went down to the holster on his waist.

General Susan Murphy was next with two NCR Ranger Vets standing silently at attention behind her. The blonde woman wore a slight frown as she looked around her, but her eyes were firm and hard. She was the NCR’s representative and she would uphold the Republic’s good name. The two guards for their part just stared out of their helmets; their gazes were drawn to Boone who cracked a slight smile and nodded to them.

Julie Farkas sat next to him, befit of a bodyguard which surprised no one. The Followers made up a good chunk of Cassandra’s more competent people throughout the Mojave and she’d made sure to keep up a good relationship with the mohawked woman.

Paladin Hardin sat silently next to her; he was filling in for Elder McNamara, who had come down with a bout of the flu. That worried Cassandra slightly; she didn’t exactly trust Paladin Hardin. He was more in line with the older Brotherhood mantra of hoarding technology and ignoring everyone else. On the other hand, he was an excellent leader in the field and his Paladins and Knights would prove extremely helpful against the Tunnelers.

Marcus sat directly on Sarah’s left, a placement that caused several of the other members of the little gathering to glower at the mutant, who ignored it. Marcus had been a large help in making sure that Cassandra understood exactly what she was getting into when she’d crowned herself Queen of New Vegas and it was only thanks to his suggestions that she’d managed to keep all the factions in check.

Mother Pearl sat next to the mutant and occasionally eyed him with a look that was stuck halfway between interest and disgust. The old woman who spoke for the Boomers folded her arms over her chest, clearly impatient and more than ready for the meeting to finally start. A young Boomer armed with a grenade launcher stood behind her. A look of apprehension made its way across his face as he took in the other, far more impressively armed bodyguards, and Cassandra saw him gulp nervously.

Benny sat next to the old woman, representing the Tops. His checkered suit clashing with absolutely everything, as always. He’d earned his way back to the top of the Tops’ leadership after helping stop Cassandra’s assassination. She still didn’t like him, or trust him all that much to be honest, but he was still a good manager to have on hand.

Sitting next to Benny was Cachino, who was busy tugging at the neck of his prewar business suit. He was still a two-bit gangster, but Cassandra knew that he wasn’t stupid enough to defy her or to plot against her. The fact that she’d helped give him his position helped her in that regard. At his back stood two large men in trench coats, and the stocks of their silenced .22 SMGs stood out imposingly from between their shoulder blades.

Marjorie, the acting leader of the White Glove Society, sat beside the man. She was wearing a spotless white dress, and her eyes were busy flicking between Cassandra and the other casino heads. She was flanked by a single White Glove, although what threat a man armed with a cane could hope to do Cassandra didn’t know.

The only powers that weren’t represented in the room were the former Great Khans and Caesar's Legion. That was because Cassandra had killed them. All of them. Painfully. And slowly.

“Alright, it looks like everyone’s here, so let’s get started.” Cassandra said; her voice cutting through the nervous silence that had overtaken the room. All eyes turned to the red head as she rose to her feet.

“I’m sure that you’re all wondering why you’re here.” Cassandra said as she scanned the group before her, making a point to look into each of their eyes. “So I’ll cut to the chase.” She said before she gestured towards the center of the conference table. “Yes Man, if you’d please activate the hologram.” She said.

“Coming right up Boss.” A peppy voice said from the ceiling before a section of the table split open to reveal a small holodisplay. A full color image of a tunneler appeared floating above the table; it was crouching and its glowing eyes stared balefully at the assembled men and women.

“What is that?” Paladin Hardin asked as his eyes looked over the image.

“That my friends, is a tunneler.” Cassandra said with a nod towards the image. “They’re originally from The Divide.” She stopped to let that sink in. The silence in the room was deafening. The King was the first person to regain his voice.

“But Cassandra, nothing lives in the Divide.” He said uncertainly.

“Unfortunately, that’s incorrect.” Cassandra said with a scowl. “Several things live in the divide, none of them good.” She continued.

“Such as what?” Paladin Hardin asked as he tapped his powerarmored fingers on the table.

“Marked Men for one, they’re ghoulified remnants of the NCR and Legion who’re only alive because of their hate for everything that still lives.” Cassandra said, she tapped a small previously unseen button on the table and an image of a marked man carrying a red glare appeared on screen. “Giant irradiated deathclaws; I don’t think I really need to put up a hologram of those.” She said dryly, which got a few chuckles out of some of the assembled leaders. “Unfortunately, we’re not fighting either of those. Instead, we’re fighting tunnelers.” The woman’s face darkened at the mention of their true foe, and the image above the table returned to that of a tunneler.

“So what are these tunnelers, and what threat do they pose us?” Marcus asked curiously.

“My research leads me to believe that they were once the people who tried to wait out the apocalypse underground in the area that we now know of as the Divide.” Cassandra told the mutant, who nodded slowly. “They remained underground, breeding and growing more powerful until the device that activated the bombs in the Divide went off, creating immense chasms and alerting the creatures to existence of the outside world.” She continued.

“Are they intelligent?” Julie Farkas asked curiously.

“To a certain degree.” Cassandra replied with a shrug. “I didn’t exactly have time to stop and chat with them, but from what I could tell they’re organized enough and they have a queen. And by that I mean a queen like ants, having a central mother who makes babies, not a monarchy.” She clarified.

“Okay, so why should we give a damn about these things? You said they only live in the Divide, why should it matter to us?” Cachino asked, speaking for the first time.

“Because they’re in the Mojave.” General Murphy said, all eyes turned to regard the general.

“What are you talking about child?” Mother Pearl asked.

“You’ve all heard about the NCR fort that Cassandra graciously allowed us to build, correct?” She asked. Every head in the room nodded. “A little over two weeks ago the animals around the fort began to disappear. Within a few days even the local cazador population had vanished without a trace, except for some rather large tunnels going into and out of their nesting grounds.”

“Something managed to drive cazadors out of their nesting grounds?” Paladin Hardin asked with a raised eyebrow.

“Yes, and that’s when things began to get strange… four nights ago I sent a dispatchment of my best veteran rangers out to investigate it and they disappeared. I haven’t heard from them since.” The general answered before she moved a strand of her blonde hair out of her eyes. “Nothing in the Mojave can kill that many of my men without them at least getting a radio broadcast out.”

“Boone and I went out looking around where they vanished a few days later and I found these.” Cassandra said as she reached into her duster pocket and pulled out several large green scales. “Here, pass these around and feel them, they’re hard as stone.” Cassandra told them as she handed out the scales so that they could be passed along.

“So, what does this mean for us?” The King asked.

“Good question.” Cassandra replied with a smile. “It means that-”

“It means that you’re going to have a lot of trouble, very soon.” An unexpected voice said from the door to the conference room. Cassandra’s eyes flicked up to take in the leather clad, dreadlocked man standing in the doorway. “You’re a very hard woman to track down, Six.” The man added as he took an open seat at the end of the table.

“Yeah, you’d know, wouldn’t you?” Cassandra asked with a wry grin.

“Who the hell is this guy?” Cachino asked with a look of annoyance on his face.

“This is Ulysses, don’t fuck with him.” Cassandra answered with a slight shrug. “Yes Man informed me that you were in the area looking for me, sorry that I couldn’t have waited anywhere for you.” The Courier added, turning to the man.

“Don’t concern yourself with it, you have larger concerns.” Ulysses said with a shrug.

“Yes, yes I do. Do you know what’s going out in the Divide?” Cassandra asked him.

“Nothing that you don’t already know, the Tunnelers are moving into the Mojave and have already set up several nests in and around the region. Other than that I can’t tell you anything else.” Ulysses replied.

“There’s more than one nest?!” Cassandra asked in surprise.

“Yes, from what I have managed to discover there are at least ten nests in the Mojave, most are small, but they most certainly exist.” Ulysses said.

“Well then our problem is much bigger than I thought…”

***

Ethan pondered what he had learned inside his head on the way to Rarity’s room. Information had been easy to find, it was in the first terminal that he’d come to. That meant one of two things. Either the thousand year old god entity was getting sloppy, or it was a complete and total trap. Ethan supposed that the first one might be possible, but he was betting that it wasn’t. And so was Sparky. Apparently the Nightmare and an unnamed accomplice had coltnapped Prince Shining Star for some unknown purpose and they were hiding out in the north beyond some place called the Crystal Empire.

“Rarity, I need something from you.” Ethan told Rarity as he came into her room, once more without knocking. Rarity responded with surprising ease without looking up from a sketch pad.

“What is it darling; do you need an accessory for- what is that?” She asked as she saw the T51-B winterized powerarmor that the man was wearing. The helmet was slung under his arm, and his anti-material rifle was strapped to his back, along with his new sword and his heavy machinegun.

“It’s powerarmor. Look, I need to create a cloak of some kind that will match it.” Ethan told her.

“I could do that, do you have any preference on color?” She asked as she began to circle his armored form.

“It needs to blend in with the snow and it needs to be extremely warm. Oh, and matching winter coat for Sparky too.” Ethan explained; there was something off with him. It was something darker and more serious than Rarity had seen before.

“Yes, I can do that, a speckled grey and white cloak would go dashingly with that armor.” Rarity mused as she finished her little circle; she decided to put his troubled look out of her mind for the moment. “As for Twilight, well, I have been meaning to use a design of mine for a while now but haven’t had the chance yet; this will be the perfect time to test it!” Rarity said with a large smile.

“That’s good; we need these things by sunset.” Ethan told her. Rarity’s eyes widened.

“I take it that you’re going out then.” She said.

“Yes, you could say that.” Ethan replied with a shrug. “So do you think that you can have this stuff done by then?” He asked.

“It should be no problem darling, although I simply must ask what happened to that absolutely divine armored duster that I made you. I haven’t seen you wearing since your little adventure with that nasty dragon.” She said as she pulled out a pen and a pad of paper off of a nearby table and began to sketch.

“Umm… The dragon burned it. As in, all of it.” Ethan said with a slightly ashamed look, he didn’t like wasting things as handsome as that duster.

“Well I didn’t spend too much time on it; in fact, I could probably have a better one made for you in a week.” She replied simply. “Did it at least keep you from becoming too injured?” She asked.

“Yes, it did a wonderful job actually.” Ethan told her, she noticed the slight twitch of his eye that told Rarity that he was lying to protect her feelings but decided to ignore it. The intent behind the words was enough.

“Then I’m glad that it served you well, and I’ll make you a better one if you give me a chance to.” She added with a smile.

“Thanks Rarity.” Ethan said with a smile. “Well I’d better go, make sure that Sunny and Sparky don’t get too distracted by each other while they’re saying their goodbyes.” He said, cracking his first real smile during the entire conversation at the thought.

“But I thought that you said you didn’t need them before tonight, why would they be saying their goodbyes now?” Rarity asked in slight confusion.

“By that I mean I’m giving them some time alone for cuddling, and maybe a little sex. I don’t know how fast they work, but not enough time to really get into the swing of things.” Ethan replied with a shrug.

“Oh, I see.” Rarity said, her face had turned slightly green.

“What’s the matter Rarity? It’s just sex.” Ethan asked curiously.

“Oh I’m not sick, I’m just a little jealous.” Rarity pouted with a slight giggle. “To be able to share the most intimate parts of her life with Princess Celestia and vice versa, I’m sure.”

“So you just want to have sex with Sunny?” Ethan asked with a raised eyebrow.

“Well, I’ve always wanted a taste of royalty.” Rarity told him with a ladylike chuckle.

“Have you tried Luna? Because from what I hear she’s an open door.” Ethan asked with a shrug.

“No, actually, that sounds like a better path now that you mention it…” Rarity said before she trailed off. “I’ll put some thought into it after a finish these things that you need.” The white mare added with a smile.

“Thanks Rarity. I know that we haven’t gotten along that well since I came here, but I’m glad that Twilight has a friend like you. And it’s been nice getting to know you a little.” Ethan told her.

“Oh, I’m sure you’ll get a chance to really know me later, after all you haven’t really spent much time talking with me, or anyone really except for Twilight, Celestia, and Luna this entire trip.” Rarity reminded him.

“Right, I’ll put that on my ‘to do’ list.” Ethan said. “Anyways, I’ve got to go, see you later Rarity.” He said.

“And the same to you darling.” She replied cordially as he left the room, before she rapidly flipped through her sketchpad until she found the right page. Then, she began to hum as needles took to the air.

***

“Twilight, there’s something that I’ve been meaning to ask you about.” Celestia told the purple mare, who was currently resting contentedly beside her.

“What is it Tia?” Twilight asked curiously.

“Well I’ve noticed that when you talk about us being together, you use the word forever. Now, with any other pony that I know then I’d think that they weren’t being literal. But with you being who you are, I suspect that you’re being very literal.” Celestia said, keeping her tone neutral.

“Tia, where are you going with this?” Twilight asked uncertainly.

“Twilight, you realize that you’re mortal correct?” Celestia asked sternly. “That means that you and I will not be together forever. One day you will die, and on that day I will be very very sad, but I’ve come to accept that.” She said, and then she sighed. “Look Twilight, I just want to make sure that you know that we cannot be together forever.”

“Err… Well, about that…” Twilight said as she began to sweat.

“Twilight, what did you do?” Celestia asked in a tone that reminded Twilight that her lover was ages older then her.

“Technically, I didn’t do anything. But I may have had an encounter with a goddess, who kind of linked us together forever, unless I die of unnatural causes.” Twilight said with a blush.

Celestia stared at her for a moment.

And then another moment.

And then another.

And yet another.

“Twilight, who did this to you?” Celestia asked.

“Um, she’s apparently a Wasteland goddess named W.” Twilight said nervously.

“Stay here for a moment dear.” Celestia said before she vanished.

***

W, also known as Wanda by those who matter, sat contentedly behind her mahogany desk with a freshly opened bottle of Nuka Cola on her right. A stack of freshly completed and sorted paperwork sat to her left, and she was contemplating what she’d do with the rest of the current cycle. Being a minor god implied a lot of things; unfortunately one of those things was lots and lots of paperwork, and little actual free time to use your powers in the ways that you wanted to. But now things were good, the tunnelers would be fighting Cassandra and her allies for a while and wouldn’t need her secret guidance. Ethan was in Equestria, out of her metaphysical reach at the moment and neither of her other two chosen champions were really up to doing much considering how old they were.

To top it off, she’d also managed to get an angel and a demon to act as her personal secretaries. Thanks to their help, she’d managed to cut down on pointless interruptions. The real question was, what would she do with her free time? She was feeling a little hungry, so she supposed that she could always go to Milliways and watch all of existence die, but that got boring after the first five times. She briefly considered taking a trip to look around the Equestrian Wasteland, but decided against it. Faust had thrown a fit last time she’d been there, something about contaminating the time stream, and the last thing that W needed was a major goddess angry at her.

W was shaken out of her thoughts by the sudden beep of her intercom. She pressed the red button and the demon’s cool voice filtered through the small speaker.

“Ma’am, we have an alicorn in here demanding that she see you immediately.” The demon told her.

“Please Miss, calm down. There’s no reason to snort flames near my bible, it’s the rare Buggre Alle This Bible version!” She heard the angel say worriedly.

“Tell her I’m busy.” W replied airily.

“Hey, stop that! There’s no need to bully the angel like that!” The demon suddenly shouted.

“Tell her that Princess Celestia is here to see her, and if that doesn’t work then tell her that I’m here about her giving Twilight Sparkle immortality!” An extremely angry mare’s voice shouted.

“Oh, she’s that alicorn…” W said before trailing off. Celestia was early. She wasn’t supposed to find out about Twilight’s immortality for a few hundred more years when even the most extraordinarily magically powerful unicorn would’ve died. “Send her in please.” She added.

Celestia entered the room; her mane was on fire and flickering rainbow colored flames. Her eyes were angry, and vengeful fire lurked beneath them as they looked over W.

“I don’t suppose that I could offer you a glass of water?” W asked with a small smile.

“No. I think that that would be an extraordinarily unwise decision on your part.” Celestia said. A small puff of fire came out of her mouth in-between every word. “Of course, you seem have already made one of those, so who’s to say that you’re smart enough not to make another?”

“You’re slightly ahead of schedule for this meeting you know.” W grumbled as her hand darted into one of the drawers of her desk.

“And you’ve guaranteed that my love is both eternal and insane for the rest of existence unless I or someone else kill her!” Celestia raged back at her.

“What?” W asked in confusion.

“Every god knows that those who suddenly have immortality thrust upon them eventually go insane; by the multiverse it’s in the GUIDE, damn it!” Celestia shouted.

“Of course I know that. However, you seem to be forgetting about a certain loophole.” W replied with a smirk.

“Oh, and what would that be?” Celestia asked.

“Cut the flames and I’ll tell you.” W said with a chuckle that seemed out of place in a meeting that Celestia was taking so seriously. Celestia snorted in annoyance, but complied and her mane went back to its normal ethereal state and the fire in her words died.

“So, what loophole did you abuse?” Celestia asked.

“Simple, I lied to her.” W said with a smirk. “You’re not linked. Well, that’s not strictly true, but you’re not linked in the way I told her.” The goddess said with a smile as she brushed on of her blonde bangs out of her eyes. “No, instead I simply started the process for her to become an alicorn, like you were going to do in a month or so anyways.”

“That would explain it…” Celestia said with a small frown as she thought. “Twilight has been far too casual about the amount of power that she’s throwing around lately, not to mention the fact that not every pony can walk around with a clear conscience after doing things like she’s done with that man…” Celestia mused.

“The process will be slow, and won’t be fully complete for the next four hundred years or so, but I think the wings will come in in around ten. As for the moment she can still die, painfully and fully, but she’ll have more access to advanced magic without having to strain herself too much, and her body should be a bit more resistant to damage, along with having a boosted endurance.” W explained.

“That would explain how she can keep up with me in bed, nopony has ever managed that except Luna, and that was a long, long, long, long, long time ago when we both young, drunk, and very, very stupid.” Celestia said with a blush.

“Don’t worry about it; your secrets are safe with me.” W said with a snicker. “So, we good?” She asked, holding out her hand for the alicorn to shake.

“I suppose, I need to get back to Twilight now. Please tell the angel that I’m sorry about scorching that bible of his.” Celestia said with a small smile before she vanished.

W leaned back in her chair with a sigh, disaster averted. Now all she had to do was finish her Nuka Cola and then get back to work thinking about what she could do with her off time. She reached for her soda and came to the shocking discovery that it had vanished along with the alicorn.

“Trolling bitch.” She muttered.

***

Celestia flashed back into existence next to Twilight while holding W's cola bottle next to her in her magic. Twilight looked up at her questioningly.

“Did you talk to W?” She asked.

“Yes, and everything is going to be perfectly fine my dear.” Celestia said with a smile before she took a sip of the soda. “It seems that miss W has a very unique sense of humor that revolves around not being funny.” She added with a scowl.

“Oh, okay then.” Twilight said with a shrug.

Celestia smiled down at Twilight, gently leaning in to give her a soft kiss on the lips before pulling away.

“I’m going to have you with me forever Twilight.” Celestia said with a happy, almost blissful sigh.

“You’re damn right you will Tia, I’m hard to get rid of.” Twilight said with a chuckle.

“You just ruined the moment Twilight.” Celestia said with a roll of her eyes.

“Yeah, I picked that up from Ethan.” Twilight said with a small smile.

“I’m somehow not surprised in the least.”

Chapter 25

View Online

Edited by TacoTown

Chapter 25

Ethan walked up to the door to Celestia’s room, and found a pair of guards guarding it. They weren’t the two that Ethan usually saw around Celestia, so he wasn’t exactly surprised when they stopped him.

“Hey, what are you doing here?” One shouted at him.

“I'm taking this invisible basket of cakes to my grandmother's house.” Ethan said with an annoyed glare. “I’m here to see Celestia you fuckwads, now get out of my way!” He commanded.

“Sir, I’m afraid that I’m going to have to ask you to come with us.” The guard on the right said.

“To where?” Ethan asked angrily.

“To the dungeon.” The guard replied.

“And there goes any ghost of a good mood that I had. Well alright then, if that’s the way you two want to do things then that’s the way we’ll do things.” Ethan said with a snarl.

He strode towards them, his forty pounds of powered armor clanking slightly against the marble floored hallway. Before either guard could react the man’s right fist shot out and careened into the guard on the right’s face, sending him crashing to the ground in a heap of golden armor. The guard on the left let out a surprised yelp as he suddenly found himself being pulled off of his hooves and into the air by the neck of his armor. Ethan brought the poor stallion up to his face.

“My name is Ethan Smith. I’m now in a very, very, very bad mood. That means get the hell out of my way before I attach you to the nearest wall with a railroad spike.” Ethan growled before he threw the guard to ground and strode into the room.

Twilight was sitting on the bed beside Celestia, and they both looked up in surprise as the man angrily entered the room.

“Who the hell were those guards?” Ethan asked angrily.

“Which ones?” Celestia asked with a raised eyebrow. There were a few hundred guards who patrolled the palace daily; and nightly of course.

“The two idiots who just tried to take me to the dungeon.” Ethan snarled with a jerk of his head towards the two guards outside the door. The one Ethan had grabbed was helping the one that he’d punched off of the floor.

“Ethan, those were fresh recruits. On their first shift. Ever. They were probably just trying to do their jobs!” Celestia exclaimed.

“They. Threatened. To. Throw. Me. In. The. Dungeon!” Ethan practically shouted.

“Ethan, you need to calm down. They’re rookies who made a mistake.” Twilight said as she got off of the bed and began to walk towards the armored man.

“I don’t care; I shouldn’t be in danger of being thrown into a dungeon even if they are rookies!” Ethan growled.

“All three of us know that you were never in any real danger of that happening to you.” Celestia informed him.

“That’s not the point!” Ethan retorted angrily as he advanced on Celestia. Suddenly, he found himself floating upside down from the ceiling, trapped in Celestia’s golden aura. His hands were being held very tightly against his sides, making it impossible for him to reach his supply of pulse grenades in order to break her hold.

“I think that that’s just about enough of that.” The solar alicorn told him sternly. “Ethan, I know that you’re under an immense amount of pressure at the moment, both mentally and emotionally, but you need to calm down.” She said forcefully.

Ethan glared at her for a few second as he hung suspended upside down, and then he let out a sigh.

“Sparky, I need to go home. Not for very long, but I really want to see Cassie for a little while.” He said softly.

Celestia cocked an eyebrow at Twilight, who shrugged.

“Of course I can take you home Ethan; you’re not a prisoner here.” Twilight said with a kind smile.

“Thanks Sparky.” Ethan told her before he turned back to Celestia. “Sorry about the guards Sunny.”

“I’m sure that they’ll be fine Ethan. Besides, now they’ll have a fun story to share with the other guards.” Celestia replied with a tired smile.

“See you in a few then Sunny.” Ethan told the alicorn before he nodded to Twilight, and they vanished in a flash of light.

“Is-is he gone?” One of the guards from the door stuttered.

“He’s gone boys, I’m sorry if he hurt you. I’d advise guarding the dungeon from now on, the only one there is that hippogriff prisoner.” Celestia said kindly before she turned away from the two new guards and began to think about other things; particularly how she could keep the griffins and the hippogriffs occupied long enough for Ethan and Twilight to rescue the Prince…

***

Ethan and Twilight stumbled slightly as they appeared inside of the main living room of Cassandra’s suite.

“Sorry, we were two inches two high.” Twilight apologized.

“Not a problem, now where’s Cassie?” Ethan replied with a shrug before his eyes began to search the room for his wife.

“Boone, did you hear something?” His wife’s voice asked, coming from the direction of the elevator.

“I think I might have heard your husband.” Boone’s voice replied.

“I doubt it, he’s-” Cassandra began, but she was interrupted by Ethan sprinting out of the living room pulling her into a deep and breathless kiss. Twilight walked into the room to find the two in each other’s passionate embrace, while a tall man in a beret looked on with an extremely awkward look on his face. Twilight shrugged and walked up to him.

“Sup?” She asked with a neutral look on her face.

“So you’re the magic talking unicorn?” Boone asked with a shake of his head.

“The one and only; in this dimension anyways.” Twilight replied with a smile.

“I’m Boone.” Boone said as he bent down and offered Twilight his hand to shake.

“Twilight Sparkle, and it’s a pleasure to meet you.” Twilight said with a friendly grin.

“Likewise.” Boone agreed. “So how about we leave these two alone before it gets more intense?”

“Yeah, that sounds alright to me.” Twilight agreed. “Are Ethan’s children around here?”

“Yeah, follow me.” Boone said as he quickly began to stride in the direction of the room that the Twins were staying in.

He pushed the door of the room open and stepped inside, Twilight followed him in. Wadsworth was hovering next to a crib, and one of his ocular sensors turned to look at Twilight and Boone. The lights of the room were set on low, but Twilight could still see well thanks to her cybernetic eye.

“Ah Miss Sparkle, it’s good to see you again.” The robot said in a surprisingly sincere voice and quiet voice.

“Hello again Wadsworth, it’s good to see you as well.” Twilight agreed as she walked across the soft carpeted floor towards the crib.

“I take it that Master Ethan is back for good now?” The robot inquired as he turned his eyes back towards the crib.

“No, this is only a short stop.” Twilight replied, her voice still at a whisper. The robot let out a sigh as Twilight came to a stop beside it.

“I suppose that he still has something he needs to do before he can return to his real responsibilities then?” Wadsworth asked dryly.

“Yes.” Twilight replied as she got up on her hind legs and looked into the crib.

One of the babies had the other’s ear in its mouth and was sucking on it, much to the obvious annoyance of the other baby, who was trying to push the one sucking away.

“They’re so cute!” Twilight squeed quietly.

“Quite.” Wadsworth agreed with a soft robotic chuckle. “Little Shade seems to have gotten more of her father’s genes then Ash.”

“Heh, he’s going to have a fun time growing up with a twin like that.” Twilight said with a giggle.

“It will be interesting if nothing else; of course, with Master Ethan everything is interesting.” Wadsworth said.

“You seem less sarcastic than usual Wadsworth.” Twilight told the robot.

“It’s the children’s fault.” Wadsworth said dourly. “They seem to be shorting out my sarcasm circuit with their cuteness.” He said before he gave the children a baleful robotic glare.

“Yeah, I’m sure that that’s it.” Boone said quietly as he walked up to the other two.

“Are you implying something?” Wadsworth asked with a note of mild irritation entering into his robotic voice.

“Oh, just that you enjoy having the excuse to be nice instead of your typical self.” Boone replied with a smooth smile as he tapped the white robot on the side.

“My arm has a flamethrower on it.” Wadsworth reminded Boone; that’s when the shouting started from the other room. Twilight’s eyes widened and she turned back towards the door.

“Should we go and see what’s going on?” She asked.

“No point. It’ll sort itself out, it always does with those two.” Boone said with a shake of his head.

“He’s right.” Wadsworth acknowledged.

“Well then, let’s just look at the babies I guess.” Twilight said with a shrug.

***

Cassandra broke off the embrace first, and pulled away from Ethan before she began glare at him.

“Ethan, what made you think that it was alright to take my favorite pistol?” She asked quietly.

“Cassie, not now. Please, not now.” Ethan said quietly.

“No Ethan, you’re telling me right now what possessed you to think that you could take A Light Shining in the Darkness out of my armory without asking me!” Cassandra said intensely.

“Cassie, I’m not in the right frame of mind for this discussion, for the last few days there has been a fucking demon messing with my head. I’m sorry that I took your gun, but right now I really just need to hold you.” Ethan said in a pain filled voice. Cassandra’s eyes softened slightly, and she blew one of her red bangs out of her eyes.

“Ethan?” She asked in a low voice.

“I’ve got some explaining to do Cassie, and you’re not going to like what you hear, but I can’t tell you right now. I don’t have time.” He informed her as he stepped closer to her again and pulled her into a tight hug. She rested her chin against his armor-clad shoulder and her cheek against his.

“Ethan, you know that you can always come to me for help if you’re in over your head; at the very least you could explain a bit more about this situation that you’re in.” She told him.

“I would love to Cassie, but like I said I don’t have time.” Ethan replied.

“If you don’t have time then why are you here?” Cassandra asked.

“Because I wanted to see you again, in case…” Ethan said with a sigh before he trailed off. Cassandra’s eyes darkened for a moment before her hand lashed out and slapped Ethan across the face, sending him reeling backwards in surprise. “What was that for?!” He shouted in surprise.

“Because you’re not dying on me Ethan!” Cassandra said loudly as she began to walk towards him, hand raised threateningly. “I’m already up to my ass in problems that I don’t know how to solve, and the last thing I need added onto that is you dying!” She shouted at him. “Now you listen to me Ethan Smith. You are The Lone Wanderer, the Wasteland’s Goddamned Savior, and you are going to pull your ass out of this emotional funk or I’m going to shove my fist straight up your ass so far that it’ll come out of your mouth!” She finished with a shout.

Ethan stared at her for a second, completely at a loss for words. And then he began to laugh, a merry laugh, and pulled her into another fierce hug. Cassandra showed a surprisingly small amount of discomfort, considering that she was being held against a piece of hard, cold, metal.

“God I love you Cassie!” He said with a grin.

“You’re damn right you do!” She said with a matching grin before her features softened and she added. “You can tell me about what’s bothering you later if you have to, but are you sure you don’t have time to tell me now?”

Ethan let out a sigh and a bit of his sullenness returned to his eyes.

“Sorry Cassie, but I’ve probably used up enough time here; I’ve got a kid to save and a demon to kill.” He told her.

“Well then I almost feel bad for it knowing you.” Cassandra said with small smirk.

“It’s been torturing me nightly in my dreams.” Ethan said flatly. Cassandra’s green eyes all but caught fire.

“Where is this demon? I’m sending it back to hell!” Cassandra exclaimed. Her voice was filled with a quiet anger that radiated from her like hot ash from a volcano. Ethan let out a tired chuckle.

“Didn’t you say that you were busy here?” He asked.

“I can’t do much at the moment personally. The Mojave has been invaded by tunnelers, but like I said there’s not that much that I can do except go out with each force as they destroy the nests. I’m sure that I could take the time to help you.” Cassandra said with a firm look of determination on her face.

“Cassie, you have a city to run. And if these tunneler things are as bad as you told me, then New Vegas is going to need you more then I will.” Ethan told her with a smile before he leaned in and gave her a kiss and said. “Besides, I’ve got Twilight Sparkle, the unicorn who can toss around supermutant behemoths, watching my back; I’ll be fine.”

“You damn well better be Ethan, I’m not raising the twins by myself.” Cassandra told him with a low growl.

“You’re the one who wanted them in the first place.” Ethan reminded her with a chuckle as they began to move towards the nursery.

“Oh shut up, you love them just as much as I do.” Cassandra scolded with a small smile at his joke before they entered the room to find their companions watching the Twins with matching looks of adoration. Cassandra let out a snort at seeing Boone’s face, which was ordinarily stoically devoid of anything close to the daww-indused state that it was currently in. The man turned around, his face flushed with embarrassment.

“We were-ah-admiring the-um…” Boone trailed off.

“Mister Beret here was just entrapped by the same magic spell of adorableness that your offspring have somehow managed to capture me in as well.” Wadsworth supplied, much to the man’s chagrin. Ethan ignored the commotion, walked up to the crib, and gently reached out to stroke the cheeks of his children with his right hand before withdrawing it and turning to Twilight.

“You ready to go Sparky?” He asked.

“Yes, let’s go save my nephew.” Twilight said; her face had changed to a look of pure determination. Ethan turned to Cassandra and gave her another kiss on the lips before pulling away.

“Stay safe Ethan, I love you.” Cassandra told him with a small smile before she turned to regard Twilight. “If he dies, I’m hunting you down and cutting out your other eye, along with whoever killed him.” She told Twilight with a steely gaze; the likes of which had caused raiders to flee from a hundred yards away. Twilight stood her ground and easily met the challenging stare. Fighting gods, dragons, and evil queens had that effect on ponies. And fucking a goddess certainly helped as well.

“I won’t let him die Cassandra, you have my word.” Twilight replied.

“Good. Come on Boone, we have several simultaneous assaults to coordinate and we can’t do that standing here.” Cassandra told the other man as she began to walk away. Boone shrugged, nodded to Ethan and Twilight, and then walked after her.

Twilight’s horn began to glow, and then she and Ethan vanished, leaving Wadsworth alone with the children once again.

“You’re cute little bastards, you know that?” The robot asked the Twins with a sigh. The Twins for their part ignored him and kept on sleeping, Ash’s ear still firmly stick between Shade’s lips as she gummed it.

***

Ethan and Twilight reappeared in Celestia’s bedroom to find it in much the same state as they’d left it. The main difference was the absence of Celestia, and that the sun was lower in the sky then before.

“We’re leaving tonight and stopping in Ponyville in the morning, so we have around two hours to kill.” Ethan told Twilight, he looked much less wild then he had before.

“How are we going to spend them?” Twilight asked.

“Well I’m going to see if I can’t get a little information out of that hippogriff assassin down in the dungeon, you can do whatever you want.” Ethan replied with a shrug.

“Ethan, torture is illegal in Equestria.” Twilight told him. “And I’ve heard that Ambassador Sharp already had a long session with the assassin, and he resolutely refused to talk to him. What makes you think you can do a better job?” She asked.

Ethan turned away from her for a second before he turned back to her. His eyes had become infused with a sadistic and terrifying glow, while his mouth was twisted into a disturbing smirk that seemed incredibly predatory, especially to a pony. He pulled out Cassandra’s blue-bladed knife and began to twirl it between his fingers.

“Who wouldn’t want to talk to me Twilight?” He asked as his smirk got even wider, revealing his canines.

“Good Goddesses Ethan, you look like you’re going to-” Twilight began but she was interrupted by the entrance of Celestia, who took one look at the man’s face and began to summon her magic.

“Ethan, please step away from Twilight before I send you out the window.” Celestia told him calmly. Ethan shook his head once and the murderous glare disappeared.

“Sorry Sunny, I was just showing Sparky how terrifying I can be if I need to.” He said with a friendly smile. Celestia’s magic dispersed and she shot him a hard stare.

“And why would you need to do that?” She asked

“No reason.” Ethan replied with a shrug. “Oh, and Sunny? Would you directing me to the dungeon?”

“No, you’re not going to torture information out of that prisoner.” Celestia said, seemingly reading the man’s mind.

“There won’t be a scratch on him.” Ethan promised.

“No.” Celestia said firmly. “Besides, didn’t you already get all of the information that you needed from that little dream trip that you took earlier without asking Luna or I for help?” the alicorn asked while narrowing her eyebrows at him.

“More information is always helpful.” Ethan said without backing down an inch.

“Ethan, the answer is no.” She shot back at him.

“Well then, your nephew might die because I lack the information to save his life, and it’ll be your fault.” Ethan retorted with a glare. Celestia almost flinched, but she withstood the urge and instead returned Ethan’s glare, except hers came with the intensity that only being a several thousand year old deity could add.

“You’ve gone too far Ethan.” Celestia told him sternly, barely able to withhold the storm of anger that was building up inside of her. “Torture is outlawed in Equestria for several reasons, the least of which is that it doesn’t work. Ponies in pain will shout anything to make it stop; torture is a useless tool from an era that we’ve moved past.”

“If you say that torture is useless then you’re doing it wrong.” Ethan told her with a smirk. “If you’re doing it right you never have to even touch the victim, much less actually hurt them.”

“What about what you did to those Talons? That certainly involved a lot of pain.” Twilight interjected.

“Different circumstance, different approach.” Ethan replied with a shrug. “We needed to know what those Talons knew immediately and they knew it; this hippogriff doesn’t know how urgently we need his information, in other words-”

“-he doesn’t know how long we have to get it out of him, meaning that he’ll be dreading a long session that could go on for days.” Twilight finished with a small, extremely fiendish, grin

“By God Sparky! I love you sometimes!” Ethan said with a wicked grin of his own.

“As long as it’s purely psychological I suppose you two can do it.” Celestia said with a sigh.

“Thanks Sunny, you’re a real pal, you know that?” Ethan asked with a grin. Celestia shot him an unamused look before she turned to Twilight.

“I expect you to keep him under control.” She told her lover.

“Of course Tia.” Twilight replied with a nod.

“Then go on, just be careful Twilight.” Celestia said with a sigh.

Chapter 26

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Edited by TacoTown

Chapter 26

Standard Defense and Pointed Spear stood in front of the door to the dungeon, side by side.

“You know, this place isn’t so bad.” Standard said as he glanced around the hallway. “I mean sure, there’s nopony to talk to but each other, and it’s kind of cold, but it could be worse.”

“Yeah, at least we don’t have to worry about that crazy guy down here.” Spear agreed with a nod.

“Oh, I wouldn’t be so sure of that if I were you.” Ethan said as he walked into the room, his evil smirk and angry eyes in place. The two junior guards stared at him in fear. “Don’t worry boyos, I’m not here for you. Although if you two have the key to the cell with the hippogriff in it, I’d be much obliged if you hoofed it over now.” He added.

“No- you don’t have permission!” Standard retorted, it was time for him to show this man that he couldn’t just bully his way through the guards!

“Actually, he does. Now the keys if you please?” Twilight Sparkle asked as she walked into the room, she was wearing a cowl to keep her face hidden, but her robotic blue eye shone brightly in the semi-darkness of the dungeon.

“Yes Ma’am, right away Ma’am!” Standard replied as he used his magic to pull a ring of keys out of a pouch on his waist and tossed them to Twilight, who caught them easily in her own magic before passing them to Ethan.

“Thanks boys, now you should probably leave. This may get disturbing to listen to.” Twilight told the two guards.

“This is our post, we’ll stick to it.” Spear told her firmly. Ethan rolled his eyes.

“Okay, just remember that you can’t interrupt us for any reason.” Twilight replied. “Are you sure that you can make this worth our while Ethan?” she asked, turning back to the man.

“I learned how to do this from Cassie Twilight, I’ll be fine.” Ethan said with a shrug.

“Alright then, let’s get started.” Twilight said with a nod. Her horn began to glow, and suddenly every light in the cell section of the dungeon went out at once.

“Good job Sparky, make sure that you have the brightness of your eye turned up too high.” Ethan told her with a nod as he flipped on his Pipboy light.

The two friends walked down the pitch-black hallway easily, Twilight’s robotic eye gave her an advantage but Ethan’s pipboy light provided more than enough light for him to walk with untroubled steps. As they approached the cell containing the prisoner, Ethan began to tap the metal bars of the other cells, setting an ominous cadence that seemed to creep into Twilight mind as she walked along beside him. Once they got to the proper cell, they saw the hippogriff for the first time since Kane had defeated him.

He was a large stallion, with his head coming up to about Ethan’s shoulder when he was standing on his hind legs, with feathers and fur a matching shade of black. His eyes glowed yellow in the darkness, and he was staring at Ethan with undisguised loathing. He’d been strapped to the wall via magic restraints, and looked highly uncomfortable.

“What do you want?” The hippogriff asked in an obviously annoyed voice.

“Answers.” Ethan replied simply as he opened the door to the cell.

“Fuck off, I’m not answering any of your questions Equestrian. The laws of your weak people forbid you from torturing me, so unless you plan on releasing me then I would suggest that you leave and stop wasting both of our time.” The hippogriff told Ethan in a voice overflowing with contempt. Ethan let out a small sarcastic chortle of laughter.

“Well you know, that would probably stop an Equestrian, but sadly for you I’m not one. This land’s laws don’t apply to me, and when you take my current mental state into account… Let’s just say that you’re going to answer any of my questions, or else I’m going to make you wish that you’d never been hatched.” Ethan told the hippogriff with an eerie smile, as his face began to contort into the visage of heartless evil that he’d shown Twilight earlier. The hippogriff stiffened as Ethan’s eyes drilled into his; he gulped, but shook his head.

“I’m not telling you anything, Equestrian or not!” He retorted.

“Very well then,” Ethan said as he drew the blue bladed knife and handed it to Twilight, who accepted it in her magic. “Sparky, I want you to heat this up, to just below boiling point if you’d please.”

“Wha-what, why?” The hippogriff asked in confusion.

“So that it’s harder for you to bleed out once we start cutting you open of course.” Ethan replied with a smile. “The heat will make your blood clot faster, enabling us to continue working on you for far longer than we normally would. In fact, I’d say that a big, strong, determined hippogriff like yourself could survive for around five hours without falling unconscious from the pain.” Ethan continued as his smile got bigger. Despite his dark feathers, the hippogriff paled.

“You-you couldn’t! You just couldn’t do that!” He shouted as he began to struggle against his magical bonds. “This is Equestria; their princesses would never let you do that!” He shouted.

“They’ll never know what happened here. You see, my friend Sparky over there is more than proficient enough in healing spells to make it seem as if I never touched you.” Ethan replied as Twilight’s magic deposited the now glowing knife in his hand; he began to twirl it between his fingers, carefully avoiding the blade as he sent the knife flipping through an acrobatic display of skill. “So I’m going to start asking you questions, and you’re going to answer them as truthfully as possible, or I’m afraid that you’re going to be in quite a lot of pain for the next week or so.” Ethan said casually as a cold edge entered into his voice.

The hippogriff stared at him.

“You-you’ll never get away with this, Ambassador Sharp will never let you torture a hippogriff like this.” He stuttered.

“Ah, you seem to be mistaking me for someone who gives a fuck about the opinion of a stuck up old bag of feathers.” Ethan said with a cold heartless smile. “Now I’ll give you once chance to save yourself from this fate, but if you don’t answer my questions truthfully, well, I think I’ve said enough already.” Ethan said as he brought the knife up to the hippogriff’s chest and gently began to press down, not enough to actually piece the skin, but enough to make sure that the hippogriff could feel the heat radiating from the blade.

“What questions?” The hippogriff muttered darkly. A dazzling smile lit up Ethan’s face.

“That’s more like it. As for my questions…” Ethan said as he trailed off with a grin. “Where is the one sent you to assassinate Princess Gilda?”

“I don’t know.” The hippogriff said as he locked eyes with Ethan. “All I know is that she’s a black cat; she offered me more gold then I’ve made in my entire life if I started a war between the hippogriffs and the griffins.”

“That’s not what I wanted to hear.” Ethan told him. “I want to know what your mistress wants. Now, you are going to quit lying to me.”

“I’m not ly-” The hippogriff began, but he was cut off as Ethan’s hand closed over his beak.

“Yes you are, you wouldn’t have had minions with you who were as powerful as the ones who crashed the party unless you were working directly with the Nightmare, and I want to know where she is.” Ethan growled. The hippogriff’s eyes widened as Ethan mentioned the Nightmare. “Now tell me.” The man snarled as he released the hippogriff’s beak; he brought up his knife and prepared to slash into the meat of the hippogriff’s shoulder.

“She-she’s in the northern wastes beyond the Crystal Empire!” The hippogriff shouted. The knife stopped an inch away from its target.

“Good, I already knew that.” Ethan said with a nod. “Now, you’re going to tell me exactly what she’s doing up there, along with why she made Kane kidnap Prince Shining Star.” He continued.

“I don’t know what her plan is; all I know is that she’s not the only one there.” The hippogriff said, apparently deciding that he preferred not being tortured.

“Who else is there with her?” Ethan asked.

“I-I wasn’t there for long, but there was this voice. This really deep voice that occasionally said things.” The hippogriff stuttered out.

“What things, what specifically did it say?” Ethan demanded.

“Crystals, it kept talking about crystals and revenge.” The hippogriff muttered. A surprised gasp from Twilight made Ethan turn to face the mare.

“What is it Sparky?” Ethan asked.

“It’s Sombra, King Sombra has my nephew!” Twilight exclaimed loudly, her eyes were wide and terrified. “Ethan we need to leave, right now. If that monster has my nephew then he’s in horrible danger!” She continued as she hurried out of the cell, the lights turning on as she walked away.

“I hate to cut this conversation short, but apparently we’ve got to run. See you later!” Ethan told the hippogriff before he strode after purple unicorn. The hippogriff waited until they were gone, and then he began to laugh softly.

Things were going just as his mistress had planned; of course, he wasn’t supposed to be captured, and the griffins were supposed to be in the middle of a war of retaliation for the murder of their princess. But when faced with such inconveniences his mistress had simply adjusted her plan. Now her enemies were charging towards her halfcocked with no real plan, just the way she liked it.

________________________________________

Ethan stared into Rainbow Dash’s eyes.

“Rainbow Dash, what I’m about to ask you to do is very important. If you fail then Equestria and the surrounding continent may devolve into the madness of war, and I will not be able to stop it. In fact, not even Luna and Celestia could.” The man told her calmly, his voice level.

“What do you need me to do?” Dash asked.

“I need you to broker a peace deal between the griffins and the hippogriffs.” Ethan answered calmly. Dash just stared at him.

“What makes you think that I’ll be able to do that?” The pegasus asked.

“Well I assumed that the mere thought that your home could be obliterated by opposing armies and the ground soaked with enough blood to make even a goddess like Celestia flinch would be enough of a motivation to make you get your prismatic ass in gear; but apparently it’s not. So instead I’m going to fall back to plan B.” Ethan said with an unnerving calmness in his voice while his eyes hammered into Dash’s. “Rainbow Dash I'm telling you right now, the lives of everyone you love are on the line, if you’re really the Element of Loyalty then you’ll make this treaty happen!” Ethan shouted, literally buffeting the pony backwards with the power of his voice as she floated in front of him. His eyes were blazing with intense blue fire that threatened to reach out and consume Dash.

The pegasus took one look at that face, and took off towards where Gilda was staying with the speed of a bullet. Ethan nodded to himself before he set off on his way down the hall towards where Twilight was filling in Celestia on what they’d learned from the prisoner. He brushed past the guards, who didn’t even attempt to stop him, and entered the room to find Celestia and Twilight talking.

“If that is true then he is most likely planning on using the Prince for some type of experiment, if he has not done so already.” Celestia said with a frown.

“Then Sparky and I need to get going,” Ethan said intensely as he walked into the room.

“Good, I believe that things cannot wait a moment longer,” Celestia said, turning to look at him.

“Yeah, come on Sparky. Let’s go get your stuff from Rarity, and then get out of here.” The man said with a nod.

“I love you Tia.” Twilight said before she reached up and gave Celestia a kiss on the lips.

“And I you Twilight, stay safe.” Celestia replied once the kiss was over.

“Yes, yes, very romantic, now let’s get the hell out of this god damned city, I want to kill something.” Ethan growled.

“Ethan, are you sure that you’re up for this?” Twilight asked slowly.

“Fuck no, but it’s not like we have any choice about whether or not we do it right? Or am I missing something?” Ethan asked with a raised eyebrow. “No? Alright then, let’s go kill an ancient horror who can bend gods to her will and her simpering royal helper!”

________________________________________

Prince Shining Star sat on the bed, and did the same thing that he’d done for the past week, or at least he thought it had been a week. It might have been more. Keeping track of time when you were a prisoner was hard with no access to the sun. Suddenly, the black she-cat walked into the cell.

“Today’s the day little one!” She said with a large smile.

“The-the day for what?” The young foal asked.

“Why, the day that my partner gets inside you of course!” The cat told him with a feline grin. “And no, the innuendo wasn’t intentional.”

“Wh-what?” The prince stuttered.

“Just follow me little one, and you’ll know all.” Nightmare said with a grin.

She snapped her fingers, and suddenly Shining Star found himself held aloft in a cloud of black magic. The cat walked gracefully down the corridor as Star was floated along behind her. They walked in silence until they came to a large room, dominated by a throne made of onyx and obsidian. Sitting on that throne was a stallion that Star had heard horror stories about from the staff of the royal palace in the Crystal Empire’s capital.

Ex-King Sombra lounged on his throne, a large grin on his face. A trail of black mist rolled off of him as he eyed the foal and he nodded to himself once, before he sprang from the throne and walked towards the foal.

“Do you know who I am little one?” Sombra asked.

“K-k-k-King Sombra,” The colt stuttered.

“Oh good; I’m so glad that I’m remembered so well!” Sombra shouted with a triumphant grin.

“What do you want from me?” The colt asked in a quiet, fearful voice.

“Well you see little one, I have a bit of a problem,” Sombra told the colt as he leaned down so that he could look the colt in the eyes. “This body that I’m talking to you with is nothing but an illusion, thanks to those crystal begotten alicorn relatives of yours. So I need a new body, and that’s where you come in.” Sombra told the colt.

The colt stared at him uncomprehendingly. Sombra sighed and shook his illusory head.

“Young ponies these days. Honestly, I outlawed reading, but I never encouraged sheer stupidity like this.” Sombra grumbled.

“To be fair, he’s not very old.” Nightmare said with a shrug of her furry shoulders.

“Nonetheless, it’s disgraceful that one of royal blood is so clueless. Oh well, that won’t be an issue in a few seconds.” He said with a shrug.

Then the spirit surged forwards, and Star suddenly found himself enveloped by a dark cloud. Then the colt’s fur lost its whiteness and turned black. The pink in his blue mane turned bloody red, and his eyes took on an evil almost reptilian appearance.

“A little tiny at the moment,” Star said in Sombra’s voice with a slight frown. “But that’s okay; I can just make it bigger.” The colt’s body stretched and grew as a fog of black magic flowed around him, slowly transforming the small form of a colt into the towering and impressively muscled body of a full grown stallion. “That’s much better.” Sombra chuckled.

“Very handsome.” Nightmare said as she leaned down to kiss the stallion on the lips. Sombra laughed.

“Indeed I am!” He exclaimed with a wide grin. “Come along my dear, it is time to raise my army.”

“This should be a treat; I just love watching you work your My King! It’s far superior to what Luna or Celestia can do!” Nightmare said, laying on another layer of flattery.

“Why thank you my dear.” Sombra practically glowed with a dark ethereal light under her praise.

They spent the rest of the several minute walk in silence as the Nightmare ran her furry paw along Sombra’s back, paying particular attention to his flank. Their destination appeared to be the ice field just outside of their underground lair.

“My dear Nightmare, do you know where we are?” Sombra asked, turning to look at the she-cat.

“At the entrance to our base I presume, my dear Sombra.” Nightmare replied casually as she ran a paw through his blue mane.

“Correct!” Sombra exclaimed with a wide, almost coltish grin. “And can you guess why I chose this as the location of my back up lair?” He asked.

“I haven’t the foggiest clue my dear.” Nightmare said.

“It’s because this is where my army lost its final battle against that sun-blasted bitch Celestia!” He exclaimed, a mad glint in his eyes.

“I see, why do you sound excited about it?” Nightmare asked.

“Because my dear, I may have lost that battle, but my soldiers are still here, waiting for their king to return!” Sombra said excitedly.

“But they’re dead.” Nightmare pointed out.

“And that’s a problem?” Sombra asked, giving her a raised eyebrow. Nightmare met his gaze, and then began to chuckle a dark, evil chuckle. Sombra joined her, as the snow in front of them began to shake.

Chapter 27

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Sorry if this is riddled with errors, my editor is really busy right now and I felt like you guys needed a chapter desperatally

Chapter 27

Ethan and Twilight sat across from each other in the train car which they’d gotten reserved. The man was in the middle of cleaning each and every one of his current weapons from top to bottom and a multitude of plastic and metal parts were spread out over one of the seats. His shock sword sat next to his red sword that Jonathan had given him along with the blue bladed knife. He was currently oiling his light machinegun and his Anti-Material rifle was next in line. Vengeance was already lubed up and ready to go as was his 12.7 submachine gun.

“Ethan, if Sombra and Nightmare are working together, then I doubt that there’s much that your guns can do,” Twilight told him.

“I’ve yet to see anything withstand having enough bullets or laser bolts put into it,” Ethan replied with a shrug.

“Ethan-” Twilight began but he cut her off.

“Twilight we are killing our way to your nephew, and once we get there we’re going to put down this ‘Nightmare’ and her buddy Sombra, and then I’m going to go home and have mindless sex with Cassie, got it?” He asked.

“Got it,” Twilight said with a nod. “Just to let you know, you’ll have to race me for the right to kill Sombra,” She told him with a devilish smile.

“As long as you let me have Nightmare then that’s fine with me, Sparky,” Ethan replied with a savage grin of his own.

The two companions stepped off of the train and looked out at the frozen wasteland before them. Ethan had his power armor’s heating function turned on so he was nice and warm while Rarity’s creations kept Twilight warm as well.

The man looked like a mobile armory. The red bladed bastard sword was slung across his back, his shock sword slept comfortably on his hip, and a knife in a sheath across his chest. The half assembled frame of Vengeance was also visible on his back along with its power supply and his modified anti-material rifle. His LMG clicked against the 12.7 mm submachine gun on his other hip as he walked.

To say that the man was intimidating would be an understatement.

A cold wind swept around them making Twilight’s white cloak flutter and spin as snowflakes danced around her face. The purple mare didn’t even flinch. Instead her horn began to glow slightly and the cold north wind decided that it was best not to trouble her with its embrace.

“We know where we’re going yet?” Ethan asked her.

“Yes, I can feel a huge amount of necromantic energy,” Twilight said calmly.

“English, please,” Ethan told her.

“Energy that comes is used to bring the dead back to life, the long dead in this case,” she replied.

“Well then, it’s zombie killing time,” Ethan replied as he unslung his bastard sword from his back.

“Ethan, they’re over twenty miles away, having your sword out at the moment isn’t going to help you at all,” Twilight told him frankly.

Before their conversation could get any farther a quartet of sparkling ponies in blue crystallized guard armor trotted up to them. Each had a large halberd strapped to their backs along with a short handled war hammer at their side. Every one of them was an earth pony. The guards were led by an officer wearing a white officer’s cloak gilded with gold lining and a long bladed, almost machete like sword hung at his side. He had a glistening green coat and a ruby red mane.

“Miss Sparkle, we’ve been expecting you. I’m General Falchion,” the officer said as he stepped forward.

“Sparky, why do I suddenly have the feeling that if I look to long at these guys that I’ll go blind?” Ethan asked the mare. The crystal guards and the officer glared at him and Ethan gave them an evil smirk. “Girls, I’m really not someone that you want to be glaring at right now.”

The guards however remained unperturbed and glared right back at him. “And this must be the idiotic creature who believes himself to be untouchable,” the officer said, his voice cold.

“Yes, this is Ethan,” Twilight nodded simply. “It’s good to see you again, General,”

“And the same to you Miss Sparkle,” Falchion replied with a smile.

“Excuse me?” Ethan asked, not used to being ignored.

“Yes?” Falchion asked with an annoyed tone in his voice at being distracted from his conversation with Twilight.

“What the hell makes you think that you can ignore me like that?” Ethan asked as he gripped the hilt of his sword.

“Boy, I’ve seen things that would make your soul barricade itself in a closet as it wept until its eyes were dry,” the General told Ethan harshly.

“Have you now?” Ethan asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Yes,” the general replied coldly.

“Well I-”

“I do hate to hate to cut the formalities short, but do you know where the in the hell that mass of necromantic energy is coming from?” Twilight asked interrupting the byplay.

“Unfortunately I do, in fact it is the reason that I came to meet you two myself to escort you within the Heart Shield,” the stallion answered gravely.

“I was wondering about that,” Twilight muttered as her robotic eye scanned the area around them. “It isn’t exactly normal for the general to meet ponies fresh off of the train.”

“Right then, come along. Just stay close and we’ll keep you both from harm,” the general told them. Ethan snorted at the thought.

“We hardly need the help, but it’ll be nice to have an audience,” Ethan told him. The general either didn’t hear him, or more likely simply didn’t care.

They set off towards the large glowing shield in the distance at a light trot that ate up the distance but before they could arrive a black haze descended on the group.

“Well, well, well, if it isn’t the little general,” a dark voice said with a mocking laugh. “How do you like the badge of office, boy? I hope your father didn’t leave too many stains on it when I killed him” The voice asked with a chuckle.

“Get out of our way Sombra, you have no power over us anymore,” Falchion growled.

“MWA HA HA HA HA HA, I have more power then you could ever dream of!” Sombra laughed.

“Sparky, what’s going on?” Ethan whispered quietly to Twilight.

“Ethan, this is Sombra, one of the most evil beings who’s ever walked this planet,” Twilight said softly. “He’s using an illusion of some kind to distract us. Expect an attack at any second.”

Falchion just gritted his teeth and scowled up at the black cloud. Two of the guards drew their halberds while the other two drew their warhammers. Ethan readied his red blade and prepared for anything. Falchion simply tensed.

The darkness suddenly engulfed them and from out of it charged several shadows. Ethan couldn’t see his enemy but he automatically brought his sword up to block a vicious downward stroke from a rusty axehead. The impact rocked the man backwards but with a quick flick of his wrist he sent the sword skittering off of his own. He then slashed downwards and chopped straight into something hard and metallic. The blade of his sword was stopped for a moment before it tore through the metal and into something soft and squishy. A groan reached his ears and he caught the briefest glance of pony shaped silhouette before he was forced to block another swing of the rusty axe.

A powerful blast of purple magic suddenly smashed through the black cloud revealing their opponents. They were indeed ponies, but they were far different from any that Ethan had seen before. The tufts of fur that showed from beneath rusty armor once blue armor was ragged and torn revealing petrified grey flesh. Rotten teeth gripped an aged axe in its mouth and sightless white eyes stared at Ethan. Twilight’s blast of magic seemed to have stunned the zombie soldiers.

Taking the initiative the man swept blade through the zombie pony's neck and sent it rolling to the ground. The guards had wasted no time and their halberds and warhammers had already sliced through or smashed the necks of the opponents that they faced. Falchion on the other hand had his now blood covered falchion grasped firmly between his teeth and five decapitated corpses lay at his hooves. Twilight was holding one of the zombies in her magical grip, her head was cocked to the side as she evaluated it, then with a simple flare from her horn the zombie was crushed like a tin can.

“We should go now before more appear,” Twilight said, her voice detached signifying that she had split her mind into several fragments, one of which was doing the speaking.

“Move out, now!” Falchion ordered, somehow managing to talk despite the heavy blade in his jaws.

The group took off at a sprint towards the large shimmering shield in the distance. An angry scream rose up from the black and the mist raced towards them but the group managed to keep ahead of it, just barely, and passed through the shield. The dark mist tried to smash through the shield but it was violently repulsed and sent flying backwards revealing fifteen of the zombified warriors behind. Unlike the mist the warriors were not immediately repelled but instead passed about halfway through the barrier before they disintegrated, frozen flesh spiraling away in grey strips.

Ethan sheathed his sword in one clean motion and turned to regard the general with a newfound respect.

“That was quick work,” Ethan told him. Falchion shrugged.

“Easy, they were just low level zombies, no real intelligence behind them,” Falchion replied simply. “Now come on, you’re both needed at the palace.” He and the other guards set off at a brisk pace, leaving Ethan and Twilight no choice but to hurry after them.

Chapter 28

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Edited by TacoTown

Chapter 28

Ethan stood against the wall, his gear scraping against it. An annoyed grimace was easily seen on his face, and he had the blue bladed knife out, in the process of sharpening it with a whetstone. He and Twilight had been rushed through the Empire’s single city by Falchion’s gaurds rather quickly, and Ethan hadn’t gotten the chance to get a real impression of the place. All that he could really be certain of was that the longer he was there, the longer his corneas would feel like committing suicide via knife.

Now they were in the castle’s war room. In front of him, Twilight and General Falchion were making plans and discussing the current problem.

“So, Sombra’s aura only appeared a day or two ago?” Twilight clarified with Falchion.

“That’s right Miss Sparkle, before that there were small hints of dark magic coming from the north, but nothing big enough for us to be concerned about. We assumed that it was a small time practitioner who’d gone north in search of Sombra’s power.” Falchion told her with a frown. “We should’ve known better, I should’ve known better.”

“Falchion, this isn’t your fault.” Twilight told him, with a note of sympathy in her voice.

“Yes, yes it is. I should’ve known better, my father would’ve known better.” Falchion said with a growl.

“Yeah, well he seems to be dead, so can we move this along?” Ethan asked from where he was leaning.

Falchion bristled and turned to glare at Ethan. “You will not speak so casually about my father’s death, human! He was a hero!” The large stallion told Ethan with narrowed eyes.

“Join the club buddy.” Ethan told him simply. Falchion prepared to respond but Twilight stepped between the two and her voice changed slightly, turning both commanding and slightly regal.

“You will both stop antagonizing at each other or I will be forced to separate you.” she declared. “Now Falchion, Ethan is right. We need to move this along before Sombra has time to marshal his forces.”

Falchion glared at Ethan and snorted, before he turned back to the map in front of him. “We’ve pinpointed the location of the bastard’s cave.” the general said, pointing at a location about ten miles north of the empire’s shield. “I have the Crystal Guard on high alert, so we can bring a thousand guards to bear while still leaving adequate protection for the Empire if we die.”

“Glad to know that you’ve got some confidence in us succeeding.” Ethan said sarcastically.

Falchion ignored him and continued as if he’d never spoke in the first place. “Our forces will reach the location of the main enemy forces within four hours of marching, and we’ll be prepared to fight there and then.”

“After four hours of marching through thick snow and slippery ice?” Twilight asked him with a raised eyebrow.

“Our suits of armor are enchanted to allow us to walk atop it as if it were solid earth.” Falchion informed her with a small shrug. Twilight nodded to herself before she asked her next question.

“How do you plan to keep us from being slaughtered by Sombra’s forces during the trip?” the mare asked. “He’s not going to let us simply stroll in with our army.”

“Simple, we don’t let him do it.” Falchion said with a small smile.

“And how exactly are you going to do that?” Ethan asked.

“You’ll see when it’s time to march.” Falchion told him.

“That’s not very comforting.” Ethan said before turning to Twilight. “Sparky, why don’t we just go there by ourselves and kill all of these zombies before turning this Sombra guy into giblets? I’ve fought far bigger threats than this by myself!”

“Because Ethan, we need to have energy left over to fight Sombra himself. We won’t if we waste it all on the zombies.” Twilight told him. Ethan rolled his eyes but couldn’t think of anything to say to deny it.

“Fine. When do we leave?” Ethan asked Falchion.

“In half an hour. That’s how long it will take to prepare our forces. In the meantime, Miss Sparkle is allowed to roam the castle,” Falchion answered.

“And what about me?” Ethan asked him with narrowed eyes.

“You’re her guest. You must remain near her at all times.” Falchion said, meeting the man’s gaze.

“And if I don’t?”

“Then I would advise that you make yourself comfortable in a cell.” the stallion replied with a slight swish of his red mane. Ethan let out a low growl and moved forwards with the clear intention of punching the stallion, but Twilight’s aura wrapped around his arm before he had the chance to throw the punch.

“Come on, Ethan, I’ll show you around the palace.” Twilight told him, half dragging the man as she made her way towards the door. Ethan let out another low growl, but decided that it would be easier to just go with Twilight.

“Enjoy your wait.” Falchion told them cordially before turning back to the map table.

“This is fucking ridiculous!” Ethan exclaimed angrily. “Where the hell does this prick get the idea that he can order me around? I’m the Lone Fucking Wanderer for Christ’s sake!” The man seethed as he walked down the incredibly shiny corridor beside Twilight.

“He gets the idea from the fact that without Shining or Cadence around, he’s technically in control of the Empire until their return.” Twilight told him calmly. She’d hoped that a stroll around the palace would help Ethan use up his anger. She’d thought that it had been working, until she noticed that the longer he stewed the angrier he became.

“Who the hell made him the head of the military?!” Ethan asked with a snarl.

“That would be his father, with his last breath while Sombra’s crystal swarms ate him alive.” Twilight said.

“What?” Ethan asked in surprise.

“Yes. His father lead the resistance movement before the original fall of Sombra, then he, Falchion, and several other head officers were captured by Sombra and tortured to death. He and his father were the last alive. They somehow got out of their bonds and his father managed to stall Sombra long enough for Falchion to get away.” Twilight explained.

“Hurmph.” Ethan grunted. “That still doesn’t give him the right to treat me like I’m five.”

“Then stop acting like it!” Twilight told him aggravatedly. “Ethan, I understand that you’re under a lot of mental stress right now, but right now you’re acting like a spoiled fifteen year old filly who was told to go to her room.” she told him frankly.

“Oh come off it Sparky, he’s the one who’s being an absolute dick to me for no reason!” Ethan exclaimed.

“Not really, he’s heard Shining talk about you, and I’ve talked about you with him. He thinks that you’re a moron, and honestly if I didn’t know you better than I do then I’d agree with him!” Twilight said.

Ethan grumbled, but he didn’t have anything to say to defend himself from that.

The two sat in silence for several miniutes before Ethan spoke.

“So, once we get through the army of zombies, what do you expect to face?” The man asked Twilight.

“Well... the Nightmare is there, along with Sombra. So I’m willing to bet that there will be some powerful illusion spells.” Twilight said with a frown. “Other than that, I can’t predict much. They’re both extremely old and powerful magic users, so they probably know a few tricks that I don’t. However, we’ve got an ace up our sleeves.”

“Which is?” Ethan asked with a raised eyebrow.

“Well, there’s you.” Twilight said with a grin. “Compared to the things in the Wasteland, this is going to be a cakewalk.”

“Heh, you’ve got that right.” Ethan said with a chuckle.

“Besides, I’ve been feeling more powerful than ever lately.” the mare added with a smile. Ethan reached out and ruffled her mane with his metal clad hand, earning an annoyed snort from Twilight.

“You’re right Sparky, let’s go kick these bastards’ asses so that I can go home and you can go have mindless sex with Sunny.” the man told her with a smile.

“That’s the kind of smile I like to see.” Twilight said with a grin of her own. “Come on, it’s been about half an hour, let’s get back to Falchion.”

“I can hardly contain my joy.” Ethan said sarcastically, but he began to follow the unicorn as she began to walk back in the direction of the command room.

When the two arrived in the command room they found General Falchion surrounded by several dozen officers all of whom were staring at a map spread out on the table before them. They looked up as Twilight and Ethan entered the room.

“It’s time.” Falchion said simply.

“Good, let’s go kick ass.” Ethan said.

Chapter 29

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Editing help from Omega_code, we probably missed a bunch of stuff, but I thought you guys deserved a chapter before the month was out.

Chapter 29

If there was one thing about the Wasteland that Ethan truly loved, it was the incessant walking. Whether it was by himself or with a companion by his side, he’d always enjoyed the feeling of the world passing by beneath his feet. Not that he didn’t enjoy a good flight in a vertibird of course, but in his mind, nothing compared to a stroll through the Wasteland.

The feeling of the past weighing upon the future with every step he took on the cracked, dirt, and in some cases rusty ground, always gave him a feeling of power. Power over his own destiny, the power to help those in need, the power to shape the future of the world to his will.

Keeping that in mind, Ethan had very rarely gotten to experience the feeling of walking with a true army. The feeling of marching with the Brotherhood was always intense with the pounding of their metal-clad boots on the cracked concrete, combined with the slight feeling of invincibility that added.

That feeling was added to by the absolute seriousness that the Brotherhood carried about itself. There was seldom a noise from any of the soldiers unless it was to bark an order. They were the quiet, power armored sentials of the Wasteland, and they didn’t have time for jokes.

Marching with the army of the Crystal Empire however, was a different experience entirely. The thousand strong group of pink armored soldiers, each of whom carried either a halberd or a long-bladed sword, marched over the snow with an air of... not joviality, but of upraised spirits.

They stepped confidently across the top of the snowy tundra, hooves beating out a cheery staccato as they impacted off of the snow and ice that they were walking on as if it were a highway built specifically for them.

Floating above each of the four corners of the host were four clear crystals, each of which emitted a section of a section of the pink force field that enclosed the army. The shield that surrounded the army kept the dark mist of Sombra’s influence at bay, along with the zombie ponies of his army.

The zombies growled and snarled at them from outside of the barrier, although none dared to touch it for fear of the results. There weren’t very many of them at the moment, and Ethan suspected that the majority of the host were forming up to defend the entrance to the cave that they were looking for.

General Falchion walked at the head of the army, and as he walked his eyes gazed at the black that entrapped them, his face betrayed nothing except for an unstoppable feeling of determination, and an iron will to overcome the challenge put before him.

Twilight and Ethan flanked the general. The mare’s specialized combat armor was spotless and clear of bloodstains. Her mane fluttered in the wind, and she’d chosen to forgo her helmet for the upcoming battle. On top of her armor she wore the cold-proofed cloak, and it too whipped in the wind as she trotted along

Riding on her rear hips were her pair of dual plasma defenders, the only non-spell related weaponry that she’d brought. Her far off gaze and the detached look in her eyes as she walked informed Ethan that the mare was in the midst of preparing her magical arsenal for the coming battle.

Ethan walked steadily beside her, moving easily over the solid snow and ice, his power armored frame not sinking in any way whatsoever. The comfortingly heavy weight of Vengeance rested against his armored fingers as the gatling laser’s nose moved up and down as he walked.

The red bastard sword hung across his back, glinting in the sunlight and reflecting the light off of the snow. His modified anti-material rifle and his LMG rested on either side of it. At his hip sat his shocksword, along with his 12.7 mm submachine gun with A Light Shining In The Darkness resting on the opposite. His white power armor gleamed regally in the pink glow of the shield, and the blue bladed bowie knife was safely sheathed across his breast at an easy access point.

The man’s messy brown hair ruffled as the wind blew over, and his blue eyes scanned the horizon beyond the shield. His fist clenched and unclenched as he gripped the gatling laser, a wolfish smile on his face. It was time to bring down this foalnapping son of a bitch and kill him. And it was far past time to kill the Nightmare, and pay her back for all of the mental hell that she’d been putting him through.

“We’re almost there.” Falchion said gruffly.

“Good... how long do you think the shield will last?” Ethan asked him.

“Not long, once Sombra starts to pound on it.” Falchion replied with a frown.

“You don’t sound very excited about this battle.” Ethan observed with a slight chuckle.

Falchion turned to glare at him. “Am I supposed to?” He growled. “My soldiers and I are about to give up our lives so that we can give you and Miss Twilight a chance to kill Sombra, while we face down an army of zombies. Most of whom are old friends of ours, who’ve had their souls bound to Sombra’s will.” He gave Ethan a further glare. “Excuse me for not being enthusiastic about the prospect.” he finished icily.

The man was silent for a moment before he stepped closer to the stallion and removed one of his hands from its grip on Vengeance in order to gently put his armored hand on the stallion’s hard, metal-covered back.

“We’ll get him, and we’ll make sure that he releases your friends.” Ethan told the stallion in an intense tone. Falchion turned to look at Ethan’s piercing blue eyes and nodded once.

“See that you do.” Falchion said before he turned back to the horizon.

________________________________________

Sombra lounged on a throne of black stone, an evil smirk on his face. He wore a crimson cape, lined with black on his shoulders The Nightmare stood beside him in a flowing robe of red silk that sat atop her black furred form.

“Is he still screaming in there?” The Nightmare asked him with a small, delighted grin.

“Oh yes, I find it quite amusing.” Sombra replied with a chuckle. “Mama, Papa! Help me! It’s so dark and it hurts!” Star’s voice suddenly screamed from within Sombra’s mouth in a tortured voice.

“How cute, Little Lulu never gave me such good entertainment.” Nightmare said with a smirk as she ran her paw down his shoulder and began to caress his foreleg. “All she did was rage about how ‘you will pay for your evil, release us so that we may smite thee.’ It was rather amusing for a few centuries, but eventually it got stale.” she said with a mocking chuckle.

“I’d imagine so, I don’t think that I’ll ever tire of listening to his screams.” Sombra mused with a grin.

“So my lord, how are you going to deal with that pesky forcefield that they’ve created?” Nightmare asked him as her furry paw moved back to stroke his chest.

“Simple, I’ll just destroy it. With this body I have more than enough power to do so.” Sombra with a chuckle.

“You are wise, my lord.” Nightmare said with a wide smile.

“Oh, I know.” Sombra agreed with a smile of his own. His shut his eyes and a small ball of dark energy flew over to hover beside him on the opposite side from the Nightmare. “This little ball is all that has kept me solid all of these years. I’ve poured so much of my energy into it, that it’s almost like a piece of my soul resides within.”

“Why are you showing me this, my lord?” Nightmare asked him.

“In order to demonstrate the trust I have in you my dear.” Sombra replied. “And how little of a threat I view you.”

Nightmare collapsed into a bow. “I will never harm you my lord, you know this!” She stated emphatically.

“Oh yes, I know.” Sombra said, running a hoof across her cheek as she returned to a standing position. “I’m quite sure of that. If I ever doubted it then I would kill you where you stand.”

“My lord is most gracious!” Nightmare told him piteously.

“Of course I am.” Sombra replied with a grin. “Now, if you’ll excuse me-” he said as he rose to his hooves while sending the ball of darkness away. “-I have a forcefield and an army to destroy, and a Sparkle to capture.”

Sombra strode out of the room, his red cape fluttering as he left. Nightmare waited a moment until he’d left before scowling.

The sooner I have that human’s body the better. she thought. Sure, it has no natural affinity for magic, but I can make up for that with my own powers. She smiled evilly at the thought. And then ‘Lord Sombra,’ you will have fulfilled your usefulness, and I’ll be rid of Sparkle and one of the best fighting forces this side of the Gryphon Kingdom!

________________________________________

The army reached a flat plane and came to a stop as the black mist parted enough to make out details of the terrain ahead of them. Spread out before them was a massive army of zombies. Their grey skin and sightless eyes stared at the ponies of the Empire; the rusted, tattered armor and notched weapons waiting for the chance to once more sing as they cleaved through flesh for the first time in a thousand years.

“Well... that’s a lot of zombies.” Ethan observed.

Falchion’s breath caught in his throat as he gazed at the massed ranks of the undead.

“These were our brothers.” he growled. “Our fathers, and our sons. And now they’ve been turned into slaves for his entertainment.” He bowed his head and muttered something.

“What was that?” Ethan asked.

“A prayer to Faust for their souls.” Falchion replied simply.

“Is our army large enough to win?” Twilight asked, coming out of her near trancelike silence.

“No.” Falchion stated. “If we were fighting to win, then we would need several thousand more.” Then he looked steadily at Twilight. “We are here to buy the two of you time to get in there and kill Sombra.”

“Kill me? Ha, I would enjoy watching your pathetic attempt!” A voice said, seemingly from beside her, yet simultaneously sounding as if it had come from across the wastes. A figure in a red cloak walked out from the ranks of the mass of zombies. He was too far away to make out any details, but Twilight’s eyes narrowed.

“That’s definitely him, I’d recognize that signature anywhere.” she muttered.

“Oh, that’s good. I’m so glad you’ve remembered me.” The voice said conversationally; to Ethan’s ears it sounded... younger than he’d thought it would.

Falchion let out a low growl as he gazed across the wastes at the figure through the pink field. “Sombra, for your crimes against the ponies of the Crystal Empire I reagent of the Empire hereby sentence you to death. May the demons eat your soul in the afterlife!”

A loud and mocking laugh echoed around them. Once the laughter stopped, Sombra spoke again, mirth easily detectable in his voice. “I apologize for laughing, but the fact that you believe that will happen is something that I find truly hilarious.”

Falchion snorted, but did nothing but narrow his eyes.

“Well, it seems to me that you’ve made a bit of a mistake.” Ethan pointed out.

“And what would that be, human?” Sombra asked Ethan.

“Well, we’re behind this nifty forcefield.” Ethan replied. “You can’t get at us as long as we’re behind it, right?”

Mocking laughter once again poured across the army of ponies.

“You think that a tiny little force field like that will deter me?” Sombra asked, still chuckling to himself.

“Well, yeah, actually I do.” Ethan said with a smirk.

“Allow me to prove otherwise.” the evil stallion replied with no small degree of confidence evident in his voice.

There was a flare of black light from the pony across the no man's land and suddenly a bolt of crackling black lightning slammed into the edge of the shield. The protective pink bubble shook with the impact, but remained standing.

There was another flash of light, and Twilight’s eyes narrowed as she analyzed the next bolt as it raced towards the
barrier. There was a thunderclap of noise as the second bolt detonated across the field, but once more it withstood the attack.

“One more, be ready.” Twilight murmured.

A third blast of lightning raced out from the figure at the head of the army of zombies. It smashed into the field, and with a roar that put the last one to shame shattered the field. It was accompanied by the sound of the four crystals shattering as well.

And then all hell broke loose.

Chapter 30

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Chapter 30

Chapter 30

As the force field shattered in a tremendous roar, a wolfish grin spread across Ethan’s face and he charged out in front of the army, Vengeance already beginning to warm in his grip. A zombie popped out of the snow beside him and Ethan’s armored boot lashed out and caught it in the jaw, dislodging it and sending the zombie flying back into the snow. The man laughed and sent a quick ray of energy into the thing’s chest, disintegrating it into ash.

Another zombie leapt at him and Ethan pulled the trigger, unleashing a burst of scarlet rays of death into its chest, slicing it in half mid-leap. Even as he did that, he turned to give another a similar fate. He looked up to see the massed ranks of the undead army charging him. In response, Ethan grinned and turned on them with Vengeance.

Rays of red light flickered out and slashed into the charging zombies. Most perished within a few seconds of concentrated fire, disintegrating into ash as the powerful lasers racked across their bodies and scorched through their armor. Sombra’s army continued to charge him, heedless to the danger presented by the man’s weapon, and before he knew it three of them were in melee range.

The closest stabbed at Ethan with a rusty spear, the shaft of which broke once it encountered his T-51b’s hard outer shell. The man turned the laser onto the offending zombie, decapitating it with a few pulls of the trigger just in time to feel a powerful axe blow come down across his back. Thankfully, the armor once again kept him from staggering as he whirled around to face the zombie who was carrying a large war axe aloft in a grey magical grip. He sent a ray of laser death into its face, turning it into awful smelling slag.

A blade stabbed into his side, attempting to find some vulnerability in the armor, and Ethan turned to find a third zombie whirling a sword around in its jaws, preparing for another strike. He dodged another blow, and sent a ray from Vengeance into the zombie’s chest, throwing it backwards as the lasers cleanly sliced through the zombie’s middle.

Before he could congratulate himself on the kill, a herd of bodies tackled him and Ethan was thrown to the snowy ground beneath a dozen zombies. He lashed out rapidly with his fists attempting to remove them, but for every one of them that he knocked off or injured another two took their place. Each and every one of them were in the process of trying to pierce, pry off, or slash through his armor; and given enough time they’d be able to.

The weight on his back suddenly vanished, and he pushed himself up with a slightly confused look on his face beneath the helmet. He found Twilight standing in front of him, at least twenty five of the zombies held aloft in her magic. Around them a purple dome surrounded the two, along with the zombies immobilized by her magic. She raised an eyebrow at him and her horn flashed once, and the zombies were torn apart in a single blast of purple.

“Ethan, you cannot do this alone, stay with me.” Twilight told him with a slightly annoyed expression on her face.

“Sorry Sparky.” Ethan said with a sigh.

“It’s fine.” Twilight replied, and then the battle resumed as she dropped the dome and the zombies attempted to swamp them.

“Would you mind sticking Vengeance in that pocket thingy that you have?” Ethan asked Twilight as he sent a few rays of red light into the encroaching zombies.

“Sure, why?” Twilight asked as she picked up two of the zombies and bashed them against each other, pulping them both.

“Because the combat is getting too close for it to be any good.” Ethan replied.

“I’ll take it, then.” Twilight said, her horn flashing.

Ethan’s hands were suddenly empty, but instead of wondering how she managed to do it so fast he simply drew the LMG off of his back. A group of charging zombies were suddenly turned into swiss cheese as a hail of 5.56 rounds roared from its barrel, each shot traveling through the zombie’s skin or armor indiscriminately.

Dark blood stained the snow and poured from the corpses, as Ethan spun to the next group, gun still blazing in his arms. The jingling of spent rounds hitting each other as they fell to the snow filled his ears, as did the loud barking of the LMG in his grasp.

Another group of zombies closed in on them and Twilight’s horn flashed again, this time grabbing the swords out of the ponies’ grasp and sending them back to attack their masters. The blades ripped through the confused zombies, decapitating or dismembering them as they streaked through the formation. Then the mare sent them flashing away from herself and into the backs of Sombra’s army that were in the process of engaging the Crystal army.

As Ethan glanced at the Crystal army, he saw disciplined lines of ponies holding back the onslaught of zombies, halberds descending to hack or crush at the grey flesh before them. The zombies responded by charging into the forward line, doing their best to drag the ponies down through sheer weight of numbers.

It was odd. Ethan and Twilight were surrounded and cut off from the Crystal army, but the zombies didn’t seem to resisting them nearly as much as they should’ve been. Instead, they had simply established an almost circular perimeter around the pair and were slowly pressing in on them.

“Sparky, they’re waiting for us to run dry.” Ethan informed Twilight while he slapped another of the 200 rounds drums into his LMG.

“I know.” Twilight replied, sending a blast of force into one of the zombies who was attempting to stab her with its spear, crushing the armor beneath the strength of the blow and jettisoning the zombie backwards into its kin.

“That’s bad.” Ethan said as he unleashed a hellish burst onto a group of the zombies who collapsed in a hole-filled bloody heap. “That means that they’re trying to take us alive.”

“So, how do we prevent that?” Twilight asked as a swath of kinetic energy swept out from her horn, slamming ten of the zombies into the snowy ground with a dramatic crunch.

“We cut through them in a concentrated spearhead of death, and make a path to Sombra’s cave.” the man answered as he moved his head to avoid having a halberd smash into his armored face. He then entered V.A.T.S and selected one shot through the zombie’s skull. The gun bucked against his shoulder and the round tore through the pony’s skull in a shower of grey gore.

“When you put it that way it almost sounds easy,” Twilight snarked as she deflected a sword blow with a concentrated shield of magic and proceeded to beat her opponent to a bloody pulp with her kinetics.

“Yeah, sounds fun right?” Ethan asked with a small chuckle as he dodged a spear thrust and filled the owner full of lead. “So, on my mark we combine our firepower and charge for the entrance, sound good?”

“Sounds good, try not to die.” Twilight replied as she sent out a concentrated burst of telekinesis to give herself a bit more space.

“Me? Die? Ha!” Ethan said with another chuckle while he reloaded his LMG. “Alright, mark!”

Ethan spun in the direction of the cave, and unleashed a storm of bullets on the zombies in their way.

________________________________________

Shining Star walked through the darkness, shivering with cold and worry. His entire body ached from the walking, and his throat was raw from all of the crying he’d done. For a while he’d tried simply staying one place, but every time he’d done that he’d been attacked by shadows, who bit into his flesh and tore out great meaty chunks. Thankfully, they seemed to grow back and proved to be non-fatal, but they still hurt horribly and the little foal was woefully unprepared for that type of pain.

Tears stained the fur around his eyes and even as he walked through the blackness. Around him, he felt the shadows nipping at his heels like a pack of vicious dogs. Adding to his pain and terror was the voice. It was a twisted mockery of his own, deep and undulating with a powerful undercurrent of sadism and evil.

Little foal, little foal, where are you little foal? Do you shine in the night like a star? If so, would you shine a little brighter so that I can find you? The voice asked him mockingly.

The foal did his best to ignore the voice and continued on through the darkness. He let out a high pitched shriek of pain as a needle of pain shot up his hoof and he stumbled to his knees, his body convulsing with agony.

Ah, there you are. The voice said with a mocking chuckle. Shine for me little star, let your red pain illuminate the night!

________________________________________

Sombra let out a deep amused laugh as he lounged on his throne. Nightmare looked at him, expecting him to say something, but the stallion simply shook his hoof in a dismissing gesture. Nightmare nodded, and her paws began to glow with an inky blackness. As she did so, an image of the battle up above came into being in the air before them.

The Crystal Army appeared to be faring better than either of them had expected, repulsing wave after wave of the zombies with quick and well practiced movements. However, there were too many of the enemy and they would soon tire and join their undead comrades.

More importantly, it appeared that Ethan and Twilight were nearing the cave entrance. They were both soaked in ancient blood and strips of zombified flesh hung from their armor. Despite that, they both appeared to be physically fine with the exception of a gash across one of Twilight’s shoulders, which was caked with her own dry blood.

“They seem to be nearing us, and they’re both in far too good of condition for our plans,” Nightmare said with a frown. Sombra looked up at the image and frowned for a moment before chuckling.

“Fear not my little Nightmare, I did not only lose soldiers at this battle all those years ago.” Sombra said with a grin.

“Oh?”

“Indeed, I also lost an old dragon friend of mine, whose soul and body I have claim over.” Sombra explained with a grin.

“A dragon?” Nightmare asked, her brows raising in surprise.

“Yes. A small one, but still a dragon.” Sombra replied.

“And you didn’t mention this dragon to me before because?” Nightmare asked him, her voice losing a bit of its pitifulness.

“Because I enjoy surprising those around me.” the stallion said with another dark chuckle.

Nightmare looked at him for a moment then shook her head. “I apologize for my impertinence master.”

“It’s alright my little Nightmare, after all you know I am your superior at heart.” Sombra boasted.

“Yes, of course master.” Nightmare agreed as she turned away from him and stalked towards the exit of the room, her long black tail lashing out behind her.

“Going up to retrieve our guests?” Sombra called out after her.

Nightmare nodded. “I will retrieve them; do you have the proper restraints prepared for Sparkle?”

“Of course, second dungeon on the right.” Sombra answered. “The walls are lined with magic resistant stone that she won’t be able to break out of, and there’s a dampening field in place that no creature below an alicorn could possibly overcome.”

“Excellent.” Nightmare said, turning back and giving Sombra a fanged smile before she departed.

________________________________________

Ethan’s shock sword slashed out to the left, decapitating a hapless zombie. The red-bladed sword in his right hand knocked aside a thrusting spear, before skewing the wielder through the chest. A burst of fire to his right indicated that Twilight had caught up with him, as did the four burning zombie corpses.

“You know, I wish I’d brought my Shishkebab, then we could be having a good old fashioned ghoul barbeque.” Ethan told Twilight with a small chuckle as he ducked under a decapitating swing of a sword, and proceeded to de-limb the bearer.

“How do you even know what a barbeque is?” Twilight asked as she roasted a ghoul to his second death with a small blast of fire.

Ethan chuckled. “Oh, I read about them. They sound fun!” A rusted spearpoint smashed into his chest, but the T-51b repelled the blow harmlessly. The man shot forward and used his swords to slice the unfortunate zombie’s head off.

Twilight snorted and growled in pain as a sword slashed across her armored shoulder, causing a bruise to form. “Ethan, I hope we’re almost through... I’m running low on fuel for my fire.” she told him as she sent another gout at the pony with the sword.

“I can see the cave entrance, we’re almost the-” Ethan was cut off by a thunderous roar.

The man looked up to see a truly terrifying sight. Soaring out of the sky at him and Twilight was a giant, grotesque, zombified dragon. Grey scales and flapping loose flesh covered its body, five large ribs showing through the chest. As it flew down at them, Ethan could make out individual organs that used to beat with life, but were now decomposed, with a rotten, yellow and green color tint. White, sightless eyes gazed at the pair and it let out another roar.

“OH, FUCK YOU!” Ethan shouted at it.

“Ethan... that’s a zombified dragon.” Twilight stating the obvious, her voice wavering in fear.

“Yeah, no shit Sparky.” Ethan replied, his voice full of frustration.

The dragon landed in front of them with a bone shattering crash, a gust of foul, decaying flesh-smelling air washed over the two and it reared back its head to roar again. The foul smell only intensified as the unholy roar echoed in the man and mare’s ears.

“Okay, you know what? I’m officially sick of this place Twilight.” Ethan told her. “If it wasn’t bad enough that there’s a psychotic demon who wants to mentally rape me, there’s also an army of zombies headed by a FUCKING DRAGON!”

The dragon opened its mouth, and loose a torrent of fire. Twilight, having predicted the move, created force field just in time to deflect the flames.

“Perhaps we could have this conversation latter?” She asked with a raised eyebrow. “You know, when we’re not in danger of being burned to death?”

“Fine, but I’m filing a complaint to Sunny, this place is officially the worst vacation spot that I know, and I’ve been to the GOD DAMNED SIERRA MADRE!” He replied heatedly.

Twilight rolled her eyes as beads of sweat began to run down her face. “Anyways, once his fire stops we need to think of a plan.”

“I’ve already got one, I kill it.” Ethan replied.

“But Ethan, it’s a dragon. Remember what happened the last time?” Twilight asked worriedly.

“Yeah, but this time I’m wearing power armor. Besides Sparky, I’ve got you with me.” Ethan told her, a fierce grin forming underneath his helmet.

The fire slackened and then died, revealing Ethan and Twilight to be perfectly fine. This, understandably, annoyed the dragon, who let out another ear shattering roar. It swept a claw at them.

The red bladed sword rose up to meet the claw just as it neared them, and the man got sent over backwards. “Oh shut up, we heard you the first time you bastard!” Ethan shouted at it as he attempted to get back to his feet. “Get some new material you zombified jackass!”

The dragon let out an amused chuckle, making the rotten organs in its chest jiggle.

“Alright, that’s it. You sir, are getting your ass kicked!” Ethan yelled.

The dragon sent its clawed hand down at him, forcing the man to dodge to the side. “Why didn’t I bring Cassie’s Red Glare?” he muttered to himself. “That would’ve made this so much easier...”

“Ethan, this isn’t the time to talk to yourself!” Twilight shouted, she was currently trying to keep from being surrounded by several of the other zombies, who seemed to be allowing the dragon to play with Ethan without interference.

Ethan shook his head and dodged again, barely avoiding being flattened by a giant fist. “Alright, I’ve had just about enough of you!” He told the dragon, annoyance welling up in his tone.

With a roar of his own the man charged the dragon, sword held high. The dragon’s tail shot out and bashed into him, sending him flying several feet and ending up in a snowbank. It then leaned forwards, and unleashed a gout of fire on the man. The snow around him melted under the intense heat, but that, combined with his armor, kept Ethan from becoming a canned good.

He scowled at it, and pulled his 12.7mm submachine gun off of his hip and unleashed a stream of bullets into the dragon. Unfortunately, they didn’t seem to be having much effect, only bouncing off the scales or flying through the rotten flesh beneath, not harming the dragon in the least.

A large fist caught Ethan in the chest, and he was sent tumbling into Twilight, who had just finished her group of zombies.

“So, how’re you doing?” Twilight asked casually.

“Shut up Sparky.” Ethan replied with a snarl.

“I think I may know how to kill it.” the unicorn told him.

“Really? How?” He asked in confusion.

“Well... how do you feel about being thrown?” Twilight asked him in reply as she formed another barrier, just in time to deflect oncoming flames.

Ethan stared at her through the helmet for a moment and then began to chuckle. “For a second there Sparky, I thought you asked me how I felt about being thrown, but that would be crazy.”

Twilight gave him a flat stare despite the sweat pouring off of her body as she struggled to maintain the protective barrier. “That’s what you do right? Crazy Son of a Bitch?”

Ethan groaned. “Fine... just give me a second.” he stretched his back for a moment and then grasped his sword with both hands. “Alright, I’m ready.”

The mare nodded, her horn glowing brighter as she grabbed the extremely heavy man and prepared to launch him, sword first. Then, as the fire was slackening she sent him rocketing towards the dragon.

Ethan slammed into the dragon’s head, sword impaling it through the neck. “HA! WHAT NOW YOU ROTTING BASTARD?” Ethan shouted at it it as he clung to his sword with both hands.

The dragon didn’t seem to notice him, and Ethan began to rock up and down in an attempt to pull the blade out of the squishy tissue, electing squirts of black blood that smeared his armor. His efforts seemed to be in vain, and the dragon took no notice of him as it leered down at Twilight. Then... Ethan’s sword started to slide downwards, just an inch, but it was enough to give him an idea.

The man’s eyes widened within his helmet and he began to jiggle himself up and down even faster. With a wet squelch the blade began to slide downward, Ethan’s body weight propelling it. As he forced the blade downwards it began to speed up, opening a huge gash in the dragon’s chest.

“WOOOHOO!” Ethan roared as gravity began to take even greater effect and he rocketed down the dragon’s body, the dead flesh giving way beneath his blade. Within thirty seconds, although it seemed much longer to the man, he’d run out of flesh and his blade detached from within the dragon and he fell to the snowy ground right below.

The dragon paused in the middle of its attempt to attack Twilight and looked down at itself, shock plain in its expression. Then the thing’s center split open, and a large pile of rotten organs slid out onto the cold snow, several narrowly avoiding Ethan. The dragon began to topple, and the man jumped to his feet and began to run.

“Shit shit shit shit shit!” Ethan muttered loudly as he ran, trying to get out of the dragon’s shadow.

Just as he was about to outpace the shadow the body fell upon him, throwing him to the ground and crushing him with its immense weight. All that escaped was his head and neck, along with his outstretched hands. If not for his power armor he would’ve been dead instantly from the colossal weight, but instead he merely felt half the bones in his body snap, and then knit back together.

He made a desperate movement with hands, trying to pull himself out from underneath the dragon’s weight, but it was hopeless.

Twilight ran up to him, shouting something, but he couldn’t hear her; his world had gone white with pain. As he lay there, he saw a dark shadow depart the cave entrance and stalk towards Twilight. He wanted to shout a warning, but nothing came out. A knife suddenly slashed across Twilight’s neck, and the unicorn collapsed in a spray of blood.

My my my, what have we here? The voice that had been haunting his dreams asked in his head as a feline face bent down to meet his eyes. You’ve been such a good little boy, now fall asleep. the voice commanded.

Then the cat put a paw on Ethan’s face, and the man’s vision faded into inky blackness.

Chapter 31

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Editing help from Omega_code

Chapter 31

Chapter 31

“Ethan. Ethan wake up.” A soft, feminine voice said quietly beside his head. Ethan’s eyes cracked open and he found himself face to face with the most beautiful woman he’d ever seen.

Her skin was dark. Not black or brown, just dark, and her chest was curved in just the right way to attract his eyes from within its silvery, fabric-covered casing. Wide, enticing lips smiled at him indulgently. Blue, deep, slanted eyes looked into his, and Ethan almost found himself drawn into their enticing gaze.

Hair black as night trailed down behind her down to the middle of her back, and he could see tiny specks of light dancing within it. A thin sword hung at her waist with a hilt stylized into the shape of a quarter moon. The scabbard was of the finest silver, and Ethan noticed his eyes tracing the woman’s hips.

“Hello Ethan Smith.” The woman said with a smooth voice.

“Hiya.” Ethan said, still caught off guard by her looks.

“Hiya? That’s not quite the response I was expecting.” the woman said as she leaned over a little farther over him, giving him a nice view of her substantial cleavage. “Care to try again?” she asked with an impish smile.

“Yeah, I do. Where the hell am I? And where the fuck did you come from?” He asked her as his eyes darted around the room. Strangely, outside of a circle of light around the two of them he could see nothing but darkness.

“We’re in your paradise of course.” the woman answered with a smile. “And as for me, I came from within you.”

“Great...” Ethan muttered. “I just love it when people give me cryptic non-answers.” He said as he gently pushed her away from himself and struggled to his feet.

The woman seemed amused by this statement and rose to her feet as well, before she started to slowly stroke Ethan’s arm. That is, until his hand lashed out and grabbed it. “Stop that.” he snarled. The woman seemed taken aback and afraid.

“I’m-I’m sorry... I was just trying to help.” the woman whimpered.

Ethan looked at her face, she was clearly on the edge of tearing up, and let out an explosive breath and sighed. “Sorry... I didn’t mean to sound so... angry. I’m just confused.”

The woman’s features brightened and she smiled. “It’s okay, I understand. You’re not the first to react to me like that.”

“Really? I’m kind of surprised.” Ethan said.

“Why?” The woman inquired.

“Because if I wasn’t married with children, then I’d ask you where the nearest bed was.” Ethan replied with a slight shrug. The woman brought her hand up to her face and chuckled.

“My, aren’t you a bold one?” she asked, still chuckling.

Ethan cracked his neck and then shrugged. “You could say that.” he agreed.

This brought out another chuckle from the woman. “I see.” she replied.

“So... you know my name, but I don’t know yours.” Ethan said as he turned to look at her. “Would you mind introducing yourself?”

“Why of course. My name is Nim, and I am here to show you the way.” the woman ‘Nim’ told him with a smile.

“Well... lead on then.” Ethan said, reflexively grasping at his waist for a sword, but coming up empty handed. A quick check of his body revealed that he was indeed out of weapons.

Least I’m not naked. he thought to himself.

“Very well Ethan Smith, follow me and be led on the way.” Nim told him with a smooth smile. The darkness parted, and was replaced by a blinding green light.

________________________________________

Twilight Sparkle had awoken to several extremely uncomfortable positions before in her life, and yet none of them were capable of topping her current predicament.

She had awoken to a painful feeling coming from her neck with her limbs shackled to the icy wall of a dark room. She also happened to be upside down, with her tail periodically falling into her face. The room that surrounded her was small, only about twelve feet in length and width. The floor was made out of an inky black substance, and the front wall covered by an almost netlike structure made out of what appeared to be iron bars.

However, as she’d found out in her first few minutes of captivity, she couldn’t seem to make any progress with her magic. Either on the cuffs that bound her, or bars at the front.

The mare had been ‘hanging’ like this for about ten minutes when she heard a noise. It was faint at first, but grew gradually and steadily stronger... it was the sound of a foal crying. The mare strained her neck to get a better view in the direction of the crying, causing the throbbing pain to increase.

In the dim darkness beyond her room, lit only by a single torch halfway down the hall, she saw a piteous looking shape leaning against the bars that covered the front of the cell.

“Hello... Star? Is that you?” Twilight called, her voice raspy.

The crying stopped and a bright white light burst into existence above the figure, revealing a large muscular stallion with a black mane, flecked with thin ribbons of blue highlights. His fur was black and reflected the white light. To Twilight’s considerable surprise the stallion looked remarkably like Star... if he had black fur and had been aged twenty years.

“Aunt Twilight?” The stallion asked in Star’s voice. “What’s happened to me? Where am I? Why does it hurt so much?”

Twilight’s jaw dropped and she was unable to speak for several seconds. “Star... is that you?”

“Yes.” the colt’s voice replied sounding strangled. “It’s me, Aunt Twilight.”

The mare’s eyes widened even more. “But... what’s happened to you?”

“I-I don’t know-all I know is that there was this evil dark thing and then it’s all pain and darkness... everything hurts!” Star whimpered before dissolving into tears yet again.

She grit her teeth before speaking. “Star, whatever has happened to you-I will find a way to reverse it!”

The stallion’s head suddenly shot up, and to Twilight’s surprise the face she was looking at grinned widely. “I think not, ‘Aunt Twilight’.”

The voice was one that Twilight had heard before, on her first foray to the Crystal Empire. Except now instead of decrepit and old it was young and menacing.

“Sombra? What... what have you done?” Twilight asked, equal parts shocked and sickened.

“Well I thought it would’ve been obvious, ‘aunty’.” Sombra replied with a smirk. “After our last little run-in my corporeal body was destroyed, so I found a new one. It was a little too small for me, so I expanded it.” He finished with a mocking smile. “And the best part is, that it’s permanent!”

“No spell is permanent Sombra... just wait until I get out of these bonds and then I’ll-”

“Actually, no you won’t.” Sombra cut her off before bursting into amused laughter. “You see ‘aunty’, you’re not going to be getting out of those bonds. No one except an alicorn could possibly break through them. And even if you did, you’d never get through the bars.” He started to laugh again.

Twilight grit her teeth as she glared at the laughing stallion. “So what’s your plan?” she asked, hoping to get something useful out of him.

Sombra stopped his laughter and turned to regard her with a grin. “My plan? Hahaha, I won’t bore you with specifics.”

“No, really, I’m interested.” Twilight said, her voice at a low growl.

Sombra chuckled. “Fine, I suppose I can give you a little glimpse into the future.” he leered at Twilight. “First, I’m going to destroy that pesky little army that you’ve got stationed outside, then I’m going to crush the Crystal Empire beneath my hoof like a sand castle. Finally, I’m going to stroll into Celestia’s throne room, and make her my personal toy!” he proclaimed with a wide grin. “And do you know what the best part is?”

Twilight glared at him silently, her rage bubbling beneath the surface like lava in an active volcano. Sombra took her silence as an excuse to continue talking.

“The best part is my dear Twilight Sparkle, you will be there all the way to watch me.” he smiled insidiously at her. “My associate, Miss Nightmare, has assured me that once she is finished with your odd monkey friend that she will be fully capable of taking over your body. You will get to watch as I kill each of your friends and subjugate your beloved Celestia, and when it’s all over you’ll beg for the sweet release of death to finally take you! But it won’t, because we won’t let you die. Oh no, you’ll be there for every pain filled moment, until you’re incapable of telling the difference between the life you lived before and the new one!”

The mare’s eyes began to flash with lines of purple magic, but her bonds seemed to drain away the gathering magic before she could gather enough for an attack. “You... you... I’m going to... KILL YOU!” Twilight roared as she struggled to free herself from her bonds.

“Ah, but there lies the second best part of this little plan of mine.” Sombra said with a snicker. “You can’t kill me without killing your dear little Star.” The stallion threw back his head and laughed again. “Now if you’ll excuse me, I have a lackey to await. Enjoy your last few hours of conscious body control Twilight Sparkle, they’ll be your last.”

Sombra left with a final dark, parting laugh, leaving the mare struggling fruitlessly against her bonds, her horn flashing and dying every few seconds as she gathered magic only for it to be drained by the bonds.

________________________________________

Ethan’s vision cleared, and he found himself standing in what appeared to be the Mojave. Nim was standing next to him, a truly sorry look on her face.

“What? How did we get back to the Mojave?” Ethan asked in confusion.

“We are not there, this is merely a vision of the future.” Nim answered before nodding to the right. Ethan followed her gaze, and spotted Cassandra standing in the sand.

Cassandra was clearly exhausted. Her nearly destroyed riot armor was covered in green blood that intermixed freely with hers. Her face was haggard, and her normally proud features seemed to be sagging in defeat. She was panting heavily, and was obviously close to collapsing. A riot shotgun was held loosely in either of her hands, and a veritable mountain of green-scaled corpses surrounded her.

“Cassie!” Ethan shouted, trying to gain his wife’s attention.

“She cannot hear you Ethan.” Nim said sadly.

Without warning Cassandra suddenly fell to one knee, the shotguns slipping from her tired hands. Tears began to leak down her face, and Ethan watched as his wife cried, utterly unable to help or look away. Suddenly, the ground beneath Cassandra erupted and a green hand grabbed the woman’s leg.

The claws sliced through the armor and bright blood poured out of the wound as Cassandra cried out in agonizing pain. Mere seconds later, before the woman had time to recover a green shape tackled her from behind, bearing the woman to the ground. The second tunneler then slammed its large claws into her back, and tore downwards. Ethan watched on in impotent panic and rage as his wife was reduced to bloody scraps.

When the scene was over and there was nothing left to see, the vision faded in another flash of green only to be replaced by one infinitely worse. He and Nim were in Cassandra’s suite, the nursery to be specific.

“No...No...NO!” Ethan shouted as he looked about the room.

Wadsworth’s unresponsive body lay against the far wall, smoking and flickering. A large set of claws had clearly slashed clean through his armored chassis. Sitting in the middle of the room was a large tunneler, leaning over two infants, neither of whom were moving. It turned to look at Ethan with glowing eyes and then back at the babies before it lunged forward, clamping its teeth around one of them.

Ethan closed his eyes and looked away, tears streaming down his face through the sides of his eyes. However, looking away didn’t save him from the awful crunching sounds. It seemed to take forever for the beast to finish its messy job and begin on the second child. His child.

The man’s vision was blinded again by a green flash, and when he opened his eyes again he found himself back in the dark space from before. Nim looked at him pityingly.

“Why... why did you show me those things?” Ethan croaked.

“Because dear Ethan, it is what will happen very soon.” Nim replied sadly.

“I-I have to stop it! How can I stop it? There has to be a way!” Ethan screamed at her.

Nim’s lips came together in a small smile. “Well, I do know of a way.”

“How? What?” Ethan asked, his hoarse voice was extremely strained and his tearstained face regarded the woman hopefully.

“You just need to accept my help.” Nim replied. “And then all of those nasty things will never ever happen.” she continued soothingly.

“Your help? What help?” He asked her.

“All you need to do is let me inside Ethan.” Nim told him with a kind smile.

“Let you... inside?”

“Yes Ethan... just let me inside and I’ll make all the pain go away.” Nim said as she reached up to put a calming hand on his cheek.

The man’s mind whirled around him as he tried to think straight. What he’d just seen was... awful... but something about Nim made him uneasy.

“What do you mean let you inside?” he asked.

Nim moved her hand down his cheek and down his neck. “I just need you to lower a few of your defenses and let me inside your mind’s castle. Once that’s done, you and I can keep those nasty tunnelers from ever hurting your dear Cassandra. After all once I’m inside you, there will be nothing that could oppose us, not even Celestia or Luna.”

He stared at her for a moment before bowing his head. Then his eyes narrowed and he looked back at her, eyes blazing blue orbs of fury. “GET OUT OF MY HEAD!” He roared, sending his fist slamming out at her. The woman dissipated at his touch.

“Tch, tch, there goes the easy option.” Nightmare said as she appeared several feet behind the man. “Of course, there’s always the hard option, and that one’s much more fun for me.”

Ethan charged her but suddenly doubled over in searing pain.

“My dear little wanderer, your mind is mine already, you just don’t know it yet.” Nightmare told him with a silky smile. Ethan was about to make a retort, but his back arced out as a jolt of electricity ran through it.

“Just submit to me, and the pain will end.” she told him, another wave of electricity surged through him and the man collapsed to the ground, shivering as the electricity hummed through his veins.

Pain more intense than any that he’d ever felt before followed moments later, and Ethan’s vision flashed before blacking out.

Chapter 32

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Chapter 32

Ethan’s entire body was wracked with pain so intense that if he hadn’t long ago developed a system for compartmentalizing it and experiencing it in separate intervals then he’d have passed out again. Currently he was hiding behind what appeared to be the targeting range in the Citadel’s bailey as the Nightmare taunted him and threw fireballs at his position.

Ever since her rouse had been revealed the woman’s features had become much more aggressive and alien, her eyes turning black with bright yellow pupils. Her hair swirled around her like an angry storm cloud and she’d donned a suit of chiseled black armor.

After the first round of pain had passed he’d awoken here and the Nightmare had seemingly decided to ‘play’ with him until she got bored with her games and finished the job.

“I really don’t see how you got so feared Ethan, honestly, this is pathetic,” the woman shouted at him. Ethan’s only response was to cringe down further behind cover as another fireball slammed into it.

“It’s times like these that I really wish I didn’t have a habit for getting kidnapped and captured,” he murmured. “I’m not sure how much longer I can keep this up...”

The target that he’d been hiding behind was completely engulfed in flames and Ethan scampered away before he could be consumed as well. Another blast of fire hit the ground three feet to his left and Ethan dove away before another could impact beneath his feet. As he landed he sprang to his feet, only to be met halfway up by a lashing kick to the jaw that sent him tumbling to the ground, landing on his back.

The Nightmare chuckled as she advanced on him. “You know Ethan, if you had just accepted my offer, then this wouldn’t be happening right now. Sombra would be dead, Twilight would be free to some extent, and your family wouldn’t die.”

Ethan growled something under his breath and tried to rise again only to find the Nightmare’s heel on his throat.

“Oh no, you’re not going anywhere until you submit,” the Nightmare told him.

“Why not just kill me?” he choked out around her boot.

“Because my dear boy, it’s more fun to hear you scream in the back of my head as I do terrible things,” Nightmare replied with a smile. “I remember Little Lulu’s screams and pleads very well. I wonder, will you be able to top them?”

“Shove it up your-” Ethan began but was cut off as she kicked him in the face.

“Now now, no foul language Ethan. What would Cassandra think if she heard you cursing like a sailor?” the woman asked with a sneer.

“Probably that you should get your boot off of my husband’s face!” a familiar voice shouted from behind them. Nightmare began to turn but only made it halfway before the eagle head of Old Glory slammed into the side of her face and sent her sprawling to the ground. “Bitch!”

Ethan stared at his wife’s face as she bent down and offered him her hand. He gingerly took it and allowed her to pull him to his feet. “Cassie? How... how did you get here?”

Cassandra shook her head. “I’m not really here, I’m acting as your mind’s subconscious mental defender. Essentially, I’m here for when you’re not enough.”

“So... the one I put in charge of keeping my mind safe is my wife?” Ethan asked, still confused.

“To put it simply, yes,” Cassandra answered.

“That’s... kind of hot actually,” he replied. Cassandra sighed and passed him a .45 submachine gun that she drew from within her duster.

“Let’s just dust this bitch so you can help Twilight,” the woman said, though her tone was surprisingly gentle.

“I think I can agree with that,” Ethan replied as the Nightmare rose to her feet, the half of her face that had been torn off by the eagle slowly returning to its normal form.

“Ah! So finally a worthy challenge!” Nightmare exclaimed with a grin as she drew a sword. “I wonder how long you’ll survive against me you’re nothing but the last ditch efforts of a mewling little brat but I imagine that-” She was cut off by a sudden hail of bullets from the .45 that Ethan was cradling.

The bullets streaked out of the barrel, slamming into the woman’s face and shredding her skull and the brain beneath. “Oh no, I think that you’re just about done talking!” Ethan shouted as he walked forward, still firing into the body that had yet to fall. “You’ve spend most of my first visit to Equestria making my dreams a living hell! I say NO FUCKING MORE!”

To his surprise, the headless body began to sprint towards him, a silver sword extended in its grasp. Despite the bullets being expended into the thing’s body and broken cranium she managed to make a good pace and brought the sword down in a shining arc, only to be met halfway by the shaft of Old Glory.

“Oh no you don’t!” Cassandra shouted, shoving backwards with the shaft and causing the Nightmare to stumble backwards. However as it did so the woman’s head healed itself and Ethan was forced to reload.

“Hahahaha, that tickled a little,” Nightmare said with an evil laugh. “Now, which should I kill first; the subconscious or the acting idiot? Oh... the possibilities!” She was apparently so caught up in those ‘possibilities’ that she failed to notice the two humans talking to each other.

“Um... Cassie...did you bring anything more powerful than this?” Ethan asked Cassandra worriedly as he hefted the .45.

“Yes,” Cassandra answered simply as she reached into her duster pocket and somehow pulled out a fully assembled Red Glare before handing it to Ethan.

“How did you...”

“We’re in your head,” she answered rolling her eyes. “Doing things like that is easy.”

“Alright...that makes sense... I guess,” Ethan replied as he shouldered the bulky contraption.

“You’re picking now to question things?” the woman asked with an annoyed sigh.

“Hmm... good point,” he said as he locked onto the Nightmare with the scope and pulled the trigger. “Suck rocket bitch!”

The first salvo of rockets hit Nightmare in her newly reconstructed head, throwing her end over end through the air in a spiral of blood and what Ethan was pretty sure were curse words although it was hard to hear over the sounds of the rockets impacting. It seemed like they were longer then any that he’d heard before and if it wasn’t for the fact that he was still in immense pain, he’d probably let up just for the opportunity to increase his vocabulary.

As the smoke cleared Ethan saw, much to his dismay that the Nightmare was still standing, although her black armor looked significantly more dented than before. Even worse, she started to clap. “Heh heh heh, very nice. Although I’m afraid that it wasn’t-”

“Eat napalm!” Ethan roared as he loaded a pack of incendiary rockets into the tube and jerked down on the trigger.

“Fu-” was all Nightmare had time to utter before thirteen blasts of fiery explosive pain consumed her and she was beaten backwards by the pure force.

“DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE!” Ethan chanted as rocket after rocket slammed into Nightmare’s body. He continued to chant and pull the trigger even as the drum clinked empty. The woman’s blackened and burned body lay prostrate on the ground, unmoving.

The man let the Red Glare fall to the ground as he reached to his hip, surprisingly finding his shocksword there for the grasping. With a menacing smile he began to stalk towards her, his icy blue eyes blazing with hate and anger.

“I’m not just going to kill you,” he growled. “I’m going to do to you what you did to me, I’m going to torture you!” he snarled.

A dark chuckle came from the Nightmare as she pushed got back to her feet, the silvery blade in her hand once more. “You believe you can hurt me? Ha! Ethan Smith, to me you are nothing but a tool, a child’s toy that I will discard once I have what I want.”

The man let out an enraged roar before he charged the woman, swinging his sword in a deadly arc at her throat. She batted it aside with ease and brought her blade slashing down at his chest.

He recovered in time to deflect it away and sidestepped to gain a better angle only to find his approach blocked by her blade which was stabbing for his eye. Ethan ducked below the stab, and brought the electrified blade lashing sideways across her throat.

Blood spurted in his eyes, forcing him back as he frantically wiped away with his free hand. To his horror, and continued annoyance, the Nightmare began to chuckle despite the hole in her throat. “He-eh-he-eh, very nice,” she said, her voice coming out at a disturbing gurgle. She then stepped forward quickly, slashing at the still distracted man, slicing open his cheek. “However-I don’t think that you’ll be able to heal from that quite as well as I was.”

Ethan’s free hand instinctively rose up to his cheek to feel the blood even as he tried to move away, but something about the Nightmare held him in place as her sword surged towards his chest. At the last second he managed to break free, and rolled to the side, rising just in time to deflect a downward swing from her blade.

He kicked out with his leg, hoping to unbalance her, but the Nightmare daintily leapt back, away from the kick. Luckily, it still partly accomplished Ethan’s goal and he was able to get back to his feet. Without hesitation he charged her, his blade slashing this way and that in a controlled pattern.

Unfortunately Nightmare seemed to know the pattern as well and he found himself being blocked or parried at his every offense. Not only that, but as their blades clashed, she seemed to take control of the pattern, and within a few moments it was Ethan who was on the defensive once more.

“You really thought that you could defeat a millennia old being at swordfighting?” Nightmare inquired with a raised eyebrow as she sent a deathstroke straight for his heart. The man countered it, barely and leapt back, panting.

“I guess-it was pretty stupid,” he gasped in between pants.

“Very,” she assured him with a wide grin. “Do you give up now Ethan?”

“Fuck you!” he shouted.

“My, how very original,” Nightmare said sarcastically with a roll of her eyes.

Ethan growled something under his breath, and charged at her again, his sword nothing but a faintly hissing blur. The Nightmare rolled her eyes again and batted away each of his swings without breaking a sweat.

“Face it Ethan, even in your own mind you are helpless,” the woman taunted him. “Even your subconscious has fled before my might!”

The man fell out of his battle rage to notice that she was right, Cassandra was nowhere in sight. It was in that moment of distraction that Nightmare brought her blade down and it sliced into Ethan’s shoulder in a spurt of blood.

He fell to his knees, unable to remain standing. “Ah, how nice, you’re on your knees before me. Yes, this is the way things are meant to be,” Nightmare said with a wide grin. “Don’t worry little Ethan, I’ll take good care of you in here. You’ll be able to watch as I kill Twilight and Celestia. You’ll be there as I rape your wife and torture your children. Tartarus, I might even let you take over for the first one of those last two, by then you’ll be insane enough for it not to matter!” she crowed with a maniacal grin.

The man brought up a mouthful of blood, and spat it at her feet but she just chuckled before bending down to plant a kiss on his bloodstained lips. “Oh yes, you are mine, in every way Ethan. No matter how you deny it, you’re looking forward to our time together, admit it.” she almost gently stroked his face, the sharp nails on the ends of her fingers leaving a new trail of blood across it as they traveled. Ethan winced and tried to pull away but found that he was unable to move anything but his head.

“All two years of plotting my revenge, one year of subjugating myself to that moron Sombra. It’s finally coming to fruition!” She exclaimed with a wide smile as she continued to stroke Ethan, almost as if he were a dog. “You know, I spent six months setting up that war between the griffins and the hippogriffs to unbalance the world, and you come along and manage to screw that up.” She slapped him, her nails leaving new jagged lines. “But it’s okay because now I’ve got you all to myself and the griffins are scared shitless of you!”

“God damn, you talk too much,” Ethan groaned.

“Coming from you, I suppose that I should take that as a compliment,” Nightmare said with a chuckle before her boot shot up and smashed into his nose, breaking it in a cascade of blood. He jerked his head back but was otherwise immobilized. “So Ethan Smith, do you surrender yourself to me?”

Ethan was about to open his mouth when he noticed a faint shimmer behind her. His eyes narrowed. “Maybe... first, I want you to tell me something.”

“Oh, and what would that be?” Nightmare asked with a smirk.

“I’d like to know how it feels to have wasted your last four minutes of life monologuing,” he said with a sneer. The Nightmare’s face contorted in confusion before Cassandra ran out from behind her, grabbing Ethan by the collar and pulling him away from the other woman. Before Nightmare had a chance to react further she was suddenly engulfed by a raging white explosion, in the background the man heard something that sounded like an angelic choir singing hallelujah, though that could’ve just been the mindrape and the concussion.

Cassandra let him fall from her grip and he landed on the hard concrete of the bailey with a thud.

He looked over at the spot where the Nightmare had once been, now all that remained was a large singed spot on the asphalt.

“Is? Is she dead?" Ethan asked, Cassandra nodded. "Well, Halle-fucking-lujah!" The man said with a grin before asking. "So what... did you hit her with?”.

“Holy Frag Grenade,” Cassandra replied simply as she held up the cross shaped pin. “How else do you kill a demon?”

Ethan stared at her for a moment before grabbing her arm and pulling her down into a passionate kiss. “I fucking love you Cassie!” He said once he’d released her.

“You realize that I’m not Cassie right?” the woman asked.

“You look like her,” Ethan countered with a shrug.

‘Cassandra’ shrugged. “Now, it’s time for you to wake up, Twilight is counting on us.”

“Right... need to save Sparky’s cute purple ass before Sombra does something evil,” the man said with a tired sigh. “So... how do I leave this place?”

“Simple, you just wake up,” the woman said with a kind smile.

Chapter 33

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Editing help done provided by Tony1685

Chapter 33

As Twilight hung from the wall her horn flared off and on again. She’d lost track of how long she’d been attempting to break out of her containment... it seemed like forever.

No matter what she did, her efforts to free herself were apparently vain as the cuffs resisted everything she could throw at them. Not so much as a single fracture or even a scuff had appeared on the ancient bindings.

The freezing cold stone that pressed into her back had already numbed her body and she was shivering violently despite her fur. Worse yet was the fact that she was still upside down, the blood rushing to her head clouding her thoughts and making it hard to stay awake.

She tried again to shake off her drowsiness but this time it won out. Slowly, fighting the entire way, the mare’s eyes began to close and the flickering of her horn died.

Twilight walked into Celestia’s bedchamber and looked at the bed in surprise, there were a pair of thick chains wrapped around the two foremost bedposts. She turned to look at her lover in confusion. Celestia flashed her a small smile.

“What’s the matter Twilight? I thought you wanted a practical magic lesson,” Celestia said, a mischievous glint in her eyes.

“I... did... but Tia you know that I’m not into chains...” Twilight replied uncertainly. “And I certainly don’t see how they could be used to teach a practical magic lesson.”

“I’m well aware of your distaste for such things Twilight-” Celestia said as she picked up the smaller mare in her golden aura and placed her on the bed while attaching the chains to her forehooves.“-and in truth I do not enjoy them either. However this exercise will give you a very practical lesson.”

“Oh? And what would that be?” Twilight asked as she tried to pull her forehooves out of the cuffs only to find that Celestia had done a very good job of attaching them.

“The chains are designed to leach and repress magic,” Celestia explained as she walked up to Twilight and began to slowly nuzzle her.

“Okay? So?” the captive mare asked.

“So, this lesson is all about how to escape from bonds that contain your magic,” Celestia told her, a soft smile on her face.

“Alright... how do I do that?” Twilight inquired before Celestia gave her a gentle kiss.

“You must overload them my dear, find the place in their matrix that is weakest and then slowly pump magic into it until the matrix breaks,” Celestia answered once she’d released the mare.

“Okay... I think I can manage that... what’s the catch?” Twilight asked a little breathlessly from the kiss.

“I’ll be distracting you,” Celestia replied with a silky smile.

The mare gulped.

Twilight’s eyes shot open. Of course, it was obvious! Why hadn’t she thought of it before?

The mare pushed back her emotions and her mind began to slowly split as she examined the bonds that held her in place. Her eyes began to glow purple as she took in the design of the cuffs that held her involuntarily to the wall. All in all... she was surprised that they’d managed to contain her for so long, and if the mare wasn’t repressing that part of her brain at the moment then the snarky bit of her would’ve laughed at her.

The spell matrix that was embedded in her cuffs was simple. The only extraordinary part of it was the fact that it was keyed to drain an absolutely massive amount of magic from those within the cuffs. There was one other thing that was interesting about the cuffs; they appeared to be at least a thousand years old. Unfortunately for Sombra, while they were in just as good of condition as they had been when they’d been originally crafted, they were still based on a design that was a thousand years out of date.

Magic theory had come a long way since Sombra had been originally banished, and it showed in her restraints. While they were structurally sound, to Twilight’s eyes, the designs were childishly simple.

With a fresh wave of determination in her heart the mare began to concentrate her magic on two particular points of the first spell matrix. It was going to drain her, but she was Twilight Sparkle, star student of Princess Celestia, the most powerful mortal unicorn alive. She had magic to spare.

Magic leapt out of her horn and into the spell matrix, eroding the simple magic mechanics and causing the rest of the matrix to slowly break apart. As the matrix began to fracture; the draining effect on her magic was reduced as well. Before long the first of the four siphons was utterly obliterated.

Twilight grinned and turned her attention to the next one and began to repeat the process. However, to her surprise, the second matrix had changed from the first time that she’d looked at it. Now instead of their being two weak points there was only one, and it was hidden far better within the matrix than that of the first.

She frowned, the cuffs must change depending on the circumstances. Worse, now that she had taken a closer look at them she saw that each of them was linked together by delicate threads of magic. So, it would be more difficult than Twilight had originally thought to escape her bonds. Oh well, she’d always enjoyed challenges.

As she worked on the second cuff’s matrix a part of her mind began to drift back to Sombra’s ‘chat’ with her. He’d obviously overshadowed Star’s spirit and was exerting his influence over the poor colt. Not only that but the type of magic that he’d used to change the foal’s form worried her. Chronomancy was a very... difficult form of magic to reverse. Even Celestia and Luna had trouble with it and depending on how long ago Star’s body had been changed it might even be impossible.

Twilight grit her teeth together at the thought of what she was going to do to that bastard when she was free. The tricky part would be removing his shade from Star’s body and mind as well as soul without damaging the colt.

Unfortunately, neither Celestia nor Luna had ever taught her much of the magic of souls beyond theory and even that was sketchy at best. This was mostly because meddling with souls was one of the most dangerous and possibly deadly forms of magic in existence. Not only that, but there were severe consequences for its misuse. In fact, depending on the offense Twilight had heard that Celestia would have the abuser executed rather than simply banished or petrified.

The second cuff’s matrix broke and Twilight felt an added sense of relief as the drain on her magic decreased yet again. She turned to the third cuff and let out a tiny snarl as she noted the complexity of the matrix. To her magical senses the matrix was a constantly shifting ball of light and color without an obvious weak point anywhere to be seen. This one would take much longer to break.

Sombra sat on his throne of obsidian as he watched the paltry army of the Crystal Empire fight hopelessly against his horde of zombies via a large scrying display. They were putting up a surprisingly good defense, but he knew that with time he would be victorious.

For every one of them that fell, his forces would swell. Even as he watched a slain Crystal pony rose up and turned on his former comrades, death stripping the stallion of memory and loyalty. It wouldn’t be long before they all served him. And when they did, he would use them to reclaim his throne, then have them march on Canterlot itself.

Oh yes, he looked forward to marching into the Canterlot Throne Room with Nightmare Sparkle at his side. The looks of despair on Celestia and Luna’s ordinarily proud faces would only make the event all the sweeter for him. Not only would he take everything that they’d ever worked for as they had to him, but he would do it with the help of the mare they had used to defy him!

First though, he would have to deal with the pink usurper who had claimed his throne as her own. The stallion smirked at the thought, she would be no match for him, nor would her husband. In fact, he was sure that they would be unable to even raise a hoof against him now that they would be fighting their own son.

STOP IT! Star’s voice yelled pitifully from within his head. The stallion paid the voice no mind and instead stabbed at the colt’s soul with another lance of painful magic causing it to subside with a pathetic whimper.

As he lounged on the throne he noticed a surprise on the scrying screen. The Crystal General, Falchion, was leading a counter charge against his army. Sombra remembered the colt, his father had been the leader of the resistance back before the damnable alicorns had banished him. So, when he’d caught the stallion, Sombra had brought the colt to watch his execution.

The look of terror on his face as the crystal that Sombra had forced down his father’s throat began to expand out the sides of his neck had been incredibly satisfying. Now, the stallion was charging heedlessly into the hoard, seemingly out of his mind. Sombra snickered, it would be nice to have that particular stallion as a minion to display to his subjects. The perfect example of what happened if you disobeyed your rightful lord.

Sombra turned away from the spell and a frown crossed his face, Nightmare should’ve returned by now with the human in her thrall. He got up from the throne and started down the hall towards where Nightmare had taken the human. As he neared it he heard a grunt as well as a near silent scream.

The stallion’s eyes widened and he increased his pace towards the door. As he closed the distance with the door it suddenly splintered outward as Nightmare’s host body crashed through it. The bloody cat’s body slammed into Sombra and he was sent tumbling backwards under the weight before he had a chance to throw it off of himself with his telekinesis.

What he saw surprised him. The human, completely naked, was standing in front of him with murder in his eyes. He cracked his neck and a smile crossed his face.

“Okay, one down, one to go.”

Chapter 34

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Chapter 34

There were, it occurred to Ethan, times when having pants would help. This thought struck him at generally the same moment as Sombra’s ball of angry telekinetic energy slammed into his chest and sent the man flying back into the room that he’d just emerged from. Now, it wouldn’t really have been all that big of a deal, the not having pants aspect, but in this case Ethan was at his wits end with the whole bloody Equestria place and he wanted his damned pants back!

“Fuck you!” Ethan shouted as he charged out of the cell and towards Sombra who caught him up in a telekinetic grip and sent him flying head first into a nearby wall. The man felt his lower jaw snap, and then easily slide back into place as the radiation healed the wound. He fell to the ground and let out an angry growl as he once more charged Sombra, this time strafing from the right.

Sombra let out a small chuckle and Ethan suddenly felt his legs become entrapped by some sort of rope that, when combined with his momentum sent him flying forward several feet to land in a heap in front of Sombra. He barely managed to roll out of the way of the stallion’s downward hoof stroke and with a snarl he tried to grab ahold of the leg but Sombra was quicker and jumped back from him.

“You killed the Nightmare’s thrall? And Nightmare herself has apparently given up on using you? What a surprise,” Sombra said with a small chuckle. “I simply cannot wait to use you as a the vanguard of my army, truly, you will make a spectacular champion.”

“Go shove it up your ass,” Ethan groaned as tried to get to his feet only for Sombra, who was still holding him by the legs, lifted him into the air and smashed him into a stalactite that he’d forgotten to get rid of when he was renovating the cave system for his secret underground base. The hard stone shattered upon his impacting, as did several dozen of Ethan’s bones.

“How amusing, you think you can beat me,” Sombra said, a dark smirk on his face.

“Always a possibility,” Ethan croaked before Sombra slammed him into the floor. The stallion walked up to Ethan, who was still wrapped in his red magic, and slammed a hoof down in a very sensitive place. The man let out a surprisingly high pitched scream of pain and Sombra simply chuckled darkly.

“Oh no, it was never a possibility Ethan,” the stallion told him before stomping again. “You see, I am Sombra, the rightful ruler of the Crystal Empire and master of the arts of dark magic. You are a defenseless ape without so much as a pair of claws with which to defend yourself.”

Ethan struggled in the stallion’s grip but only succeeded in flipping him off, and he was barely able to manage that. Sombra took note of the gesture and smiled simply, his horn’s glow intensified, and Ethan’s middle finger snapped in half. The man winced as the bone reknit itself and Sombra let out a dark chuckle.

“Bad dog,” Sombra said almost casually as he picked Ethan up in his magic and began to trot down the hallway back towards the throne room.

“Fucking magic is hax,” Ethan growled under his breath, Sombra appeared to take no notice of the words, but Ethan’s head crashed into the roof of the low cavern with a sickening crunch and the man’s vision flared as pain raced through his skull and blood began to drift down his forehead.

“Bad dog,” Sombra commented again as they continued down the corridor. “You know, you’re the first human that I’ve had the chance to break in?”

“Really, you don’t say?” Ethan groaned and was smashed into the ceiling once more with an equal result as the first time.

“That was rhetorical, bad dog,” Sombra said with an annoyed voice. “Anyways, I think I’ll keep you alive and use you until you die, and then keep on using you after that. Though the question is which way will I make you serve me?”

“How about letting me down, that might wor-” Ethan was cut off by yet another slam into the ceiling.

“Also rhetorical, bad dog,” the stallion informed him. “As I was saying; there are so many possibilities to choose from. That’s one of the ‘bright’ sides to dark magic, so many options, am I right?”

Ethan remained silent and was rewarded for his forethought by being slammed into the wall head first rather than the ceiling. He winced as he lost a tooth and had to spit out a stream of blood on the floor.

“That wasn’t rhetorical, bad dog,” Sombra said, a cruel smirk on his face. Then he smashed Ethan into the opposite wall, this time leading with the legs which broke with a crunch. “And don’t get blood on my floor; do you know how long it takes my zombies to figure out how to use a mop?”

“... a long time?” Ethan hazarded.

“Yes, a long time,” Sombra agreed before he flattened Ethan against the ceiling with a crash. “That was because I felt like it,” he confided.

“Dick...” Ethan moaned.

“No, I’m afraid you won’t be getting any of that,” Sombra commented smiling wryly. “You’re not my type.”

“Oh go fuck yourse-” Ethan’s curse was interrupted as a bolt of scarlet lightning lanced out of Sombra’s horn and slammed into him, briefly illuminating the man’s bones as it arced around his body. The man writhed in agony, screaming at the top of his lungs.

“Remember those methods I was talking about? That’s one of the more minor ones,” the stallion said with a grin as he turned to look at the sagging man held suspended above him. “I just can’t wait until we get to the more exciting ones!”

“Yeah... you seem like the type,” the man grumbled, receiving another bolt of the lightning.

“Quiet,” Sombra instructed as they entered the throne room where the magic monitor was still projecting the battle above. The stallion took a moment to survey the scene and smiled in delight as he saw that things were still going according to plan. General Falchion was still alive somehow despite the suicidal charge, but he was covered in blood and his armor was dented and stained by gore.

He turned away from the illusion and back to Ethan. “So... Ethan was it? What method should I choose for you eh? I don’t want it to be quick and easy... OH, I know of a great little one that I picked up while I was drifting through the many versions of Equestria in spirit form!” Sombra said with a wide grin.

“What is it?” Ethan asked quietly, a sense of dread filling his stomach with ice water.

“Oh it’s a little thing that I like to call the insanity matrix,” he replied in an almost cordial tone. “It forces you to do my will, and the more you attempt to resist it, the more it hurts you until you begin to do as I order. Then it fills your mind with pleasure at completing my orders until you are left with only the urge to seek pleasure, no matter what the cost!”

Ethan’s eyes widened. “That... doesn’t sound very... nice.”

Sombra turned to him with laughter in his eyes. “No, no I don’t suppose it does. Of course, that’s the point now isn’t it?”

He brought up his horn, which began to glow an even more intense shade of red and shadows started to gather around it as he shaped his foul magic. Ethan struggled feebly in his magical grip but nothing he did seemed to work, he couldn’t break free. Sombra released the spell and it streaked towards Ethan’s helpless form.

A shield of purple light suddenly erupted around Ethan and the spell bounced off harmlessly. Ethan turned to see, Twilight Sparkle, her horn and eyes aglow with magical light stalk into the room, her mane shifting and shimmering around her head as she came forwards.

A scream of inarticulate feminine rage sounded in the room and Sombra was suddenly lifted off of his feet and sent careening into the far wall. Thankfully, the shield that had been erected around Ethan protected him when he fell to the ground. The man didn’t even have a chance to thank the mare before she leapt, yes, leapt over him, propelled by some unseen force of magic and landed several feet away from where Sombra had been knocked back to.

Sombra arose with a coughing chuckle. “Haahaha, it seems that you’ve gotten free Twi-” he was interrupted in mid sentence as Twilight’s horn unleashed a lance of white flames that raced their way towards him. The eldard unicorn’s horn glowed in response and the flames were deflected to either side of him. “Oh look, you’re angry,” he commented. “How adorable!”

Twilight responded by unleashing another river of fire at him but Sombra contemptuously deflected that as well before sending out a lance of red lightning towards the mare who teleported around the blast. The lightning hit the floor where she’d been standing and partially melted the stones making them more closely resemble liquefied plastic then actual stone.

The mare reappeared above Sombra and sent a wave of kinetic force towards him but he matched it with his a blast of his own. They cancelled each other out with an explosion of energy that sent the still airborne mare flying backwards. Twilight landed in a backwards roll and somehow managed to come up on her hooves though she was panting heavily.

“Is that truly the best you have?” Sombra asked her arrogantly. “I simply cannot believe that Celestia of all ponies would send an unskilled novice like you to fight me. Or are you truly the best mage that Equestria has managed to produce these days?”

Sombra regarded the panting mare for a moment before he chuckled.

“Filly, I am a centuries old sorcerer who enslaved an entire nation and it took both Celestia and Luna at the heights of their power to defeat me. What hope do you really think you have of doing so?” he asked, clearly not even winded yet.

Twilight snarled something under her breath in reply and her horn began to glow once more. A tremendous blast of force rocketed out of her horn, more than any save an alicorn could’ve produced, and rocketed into Sombra. The stallion had time to let out a small ‘oomph’ before he crashed into the stone wall of the cavern creating a crater in it.

The mare approached him, her eyes glowing with intense magical power that radiated off of her in steady waves.

“I am Twilight Sparkle, the Element of Magic, and you will fear me!” she growled through clenched teeth as she held him motionless against the wall.

Sombra’s eyes widened in fear for a moment, perhaps the first real fear that he’d displayed in the last thousand years. However, his horn flashed and Twilight was suddenly blinded by a brilliant blast of light. She reeled back her eyes unseeing and Sombra’s counter blow caught her in the chest. It felt as if she’d been punched by a super mutant behemoth and the mare tumbled backwards through the air, this time crashing into the floor.

“You’ve forgotten the most important rule of unicorn to unicorn combat Twilight, you never get that close,” Sombra called to her as he teleported out of the crater in the wall, apparently none the worse for ware. “Especially when your opposition is protected by more than enough wards to deflect simple kinetic force.”

Twilight tried to rise to her hooves but Sombra smacked her to the side with the magical equivalent of an extremely hard slap to the face that sent her stumbling. Another blow of force lashed out, and Twilight found herself being tossed with almost contemptuous ease into the wall. She let out a shriek of pain as she felt one of her ribs crack and Sombra let out a cooing noise.

“Aww... did I hurt the wittle pony?” he asked her as he held her in the air. “I’m so sowwy but she was being annoy-”

Sombra stopped in mid-taunt and he let out a high pitched squeak and his eyes rolled back into his head as something akin to a sledgehammer hit him in a very sensitive part of his body. Part of it was from the pain, but most of it was from the shock of what had just happened. He fell to his knees and tried to recover but Ethan delivered another kick and he let out another squeak as the last of his breath left his body and he began gasping for air like a beached fish.

The man acted before Sombra had a chance to recover and grabbed him by the rear legs and picked him up before stiffening and smashing him face first into the stony floor, once, twice, three times, four times, five times, six times, seven times, and continued on doing so until the stallion had received the exact number of head splitting bashes that he’d delivered to the man. Then Ethan threw him to the ground and went on one knee on top of the somehow still breathing stallion’s throat.

“NOW SHUT UP!” Ethan yelled into Sombra’s ear.

And for a blissful moment all was silent-

-and then Sombra bean to laugh and vanished from beneath Ethan.

“Hahahahahahaha, good, very good!” Sombra proclaimed. “You will truly make the perfect leader of my forces.”

Then he picked up Ethan in his magic and launched the man into the far end of the room where the man careened into the wall with the sound of a dozen bones snapping. Sombra didn’t give the man time to recover and instead simply grabbed him again and repeated the process, this time throwing him into the obsidian throne. The dragon glass shattered as Ethan’s side slammed into it, embedding large black shards into his still naked side while other simply slashed open wide gashes. Blood flowed freely from the man as he lay limp on the floor.

“What? No more? Really? You’re done? And here I thought that you would pose a greater challenge,” Sombra mocked him. In response, Ethan only moaned painfully. “Bah, what a pity, now where did Sparkle go?”

Sombra’s answer came as Twilight appeared in front of him with the flash of a teleportation spell, however... this time it was not the Twilight that he recognized. Her fur was a shimmering white and her mane and tail were made of fire.

“You! Are! Dead!”

The Crystal Army was on its last legs, they’d fought a good fight, but it was clear, it was now perfectly clear.

They would lose.

General Falchion, bleeding from a dozen wounds, hacked at the zombified remains of one of his subordinates who had fallen earlier, decapitating him. Even as the head hit snow another reared up to stab at him with a long spear. The general was defenseless and out of breath, however, the spear never reached him. Instead it was stopped by a shimmering blue forcefield.

Falchion looked around in confusion and saw that a similar sight was playing out all around him, each of the undead had been blocked. A long moment of absolute silence fell across the battlefield and then a sound that had not been heard in the last five hundred years split the air. It was the sound of Celestia’s sword being drawn from its scabbard for war.

The alicorn of the sun appeared among the first rank of the zombies and before any of them could react her golden blade had slashed through a dozen as a blast of fire lanced out with every swing. Even as the zombies reeled from the first attack a blue streak of darkness appeared beside the elder alicorn and Luna’s silver sword swept out in a flash of moonlight that burned through the hollowed eyes of the zombies causing them to cry out in pain.

The two alicorns stood among the first hundred corpses and then turned back to the army as the forcefield dropped. Shining Armor stepped out of the carriage that had landed in front of the soldiers, giving them a speculative gaze for a moment before speaking.

“I hope we’re not running too late boys,” he said, using a spell to amplify his voice. “Now, let’s show these undead abominations what happens when they try to hurt our ponies eh?”

The exhausted army stared at him, and then let out a wild roar and charged forward even as the princesses blitzed through the undead ranks, little more than flashes of gold and blue among the white and red.

Announcment

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So, as some of you might have noticed I posted a fic idea in the Mojave Express for what solo project I'm going to be working after I'm done with Light Wanderings. In case you missed it it can be found here.

Anways, I'm probably going to be done with Light Wanderings within the next few weeks so I'd like some nice cover art for this. Ordinairly I'd ask Derrem to do it (the guy is great) but I kind of want to see what the rest of you guys can do. (I mean, there are almost 500 people following me now and I figure that there are more then a few talented artists out there).

So, here is the one primariy thing to remember about this. I'm broke and thus can't pay for any of the work and am hoping that you'll do this out of the goodness of your heart. In other words, he/she who makes the best picture gets it as the cover picture and nothing else except my eternal praise.

Alright, now that we've got that out of the way, here's what I'm looking for : the picture must feature a tired looking Luna wearing nothing except for a sheathed sword, The Lone Wanderer (Female) wearing either the Armoured Vault Jumpsuit or the Wanderer's Leather Armor. Weapons should include the 10mm pistol and a hunting rifle/assault rifle (up to the artist) and the aforementioned sword. In the background should be the destroyed D.C. skyline/washington monument.

Other then that you're free to go nuts guys. I hope to see some really nice art!

Chapter 35

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Chapter 35

White magical flames whirled around the room as Twilight Sparkle hammered on Sombra’s impressive defenses. The stallion stood tall and proud within the maelstrom of flames, seemingly unphased by the roaring inferno. His horn glowed with dark red and black magical energy and he blocked every gout of fire or river of heat with an equally powerful shield,all the while filling up the cavern with incredibly powerful blasts of force and dark magic.

Twilight found herself surrounded not only by heat and flames, but also by blasts of insidious magic that would’ve killed, or done something worse to her near instantaneously. However, her current state the bolts of dark energy simply didn’t concern her. With contemptuous ease the mare either batted them aside or in some cases, simply dodged them, all the while keeping up the torrent of fire rushing from her horn.

In some distant part of her mind, Twilight knew that she couldn’t keep up the pace that she was running at. Her different personalities would eventually wear out all of her energy and then the vile stallion would have free reign to do as he wished.

An entirely different part of her mind told the previous one to shut the fuck up and focus on doing something productive for a change.

With an internal growl of rage Twilight unleashed an even hotter fire to rain down on Sombra but the infuriating stallion remained grinning as his shining horn deflected the fire away.

“Really now Twilight Sparkle, I was expecting more from you!” Sombra shouted mockingly at her. “You’re supposed to be Celestia’s secret weapon, the knight she uses to topple the forces of evil, but all that you’ve shown me so far is how much of a sniveling little whelp you are when it comes to magic! You’re nothing but a novice with an extremely large pool to draw from, and if my guess is right you’re almost at empty!”

The mare gritted her teeth, he was right. Even with her ocean of power to draw from the mare was beginning to run out dry. Twilight’s magic reached out and tore a trio of stalactites from the ceiling of the cave and sent them spirling at Sombra accompanied by a gout of flames. His counterstroke was simple and effective, three blasts of force sent the spears of rock right back at Twilight and he raised a shield to defend himself allowing the fire to simply wash off of him.

The mare barely managed to avoid the speeding rocks, one of which sped by her cheek close enough for her to feel the heat radiating off of them. That was when her senses found something else in the room, unbeknownst to Sombra, there was a large vein of iron ore running through the ceiling.

Without hesitation Twilight began to tear chunks of stone out of the ceiling and hurled them at Sombra who proceeded to return the favor. This time however, Twilight caught them in mid air and sent them flying right back at him. Literal tons of stone flew back and forth between them like a game of catch played by a pair of demented giants.

As the stones roared back and forth between them Twilight reached for more and more of them. Sombra, quite enjoying the little game, seeing it as the mare’s last desperate attempt to kill him through nothing but pure weight of stone. A confident smirk appeared on his face as he once more lazily sent the stone flying back at her.

A sudden beam of extremely fast molten iron slapped the sneer off of his face.

Meanwhile; Ethan had regained control of his limbs, and was currently cursing his way back to his feet as he pulled out three inch long shards of volcanic glass out of his body.

“Who builds a fucking throne out of fucking glass?” The man growled angrily and painfully under his breath as his bloody hands pulled yet another of the damn things from his side.

He looked up to see Twilight still engaging Sombra but after what had happened a few minutes ago he didn’t really think that there was much that he could do at the moment to help her. Every breath he took hurt like hell and he was pretty sure that he had a severe case of internal bleeding.

“But hey, what else is new?” he asked himself as he spit up a stream of blood.

The man took a step forward, wincing in pain as the miniscule shards of black volcanic glass stabbed deeper into the soles of his feet. Then, he smiled an extremely strained smile.

At times like these, there was only one thing to do.

Find his damn gear!

Celestia’s blade decapitated a trio of the zombies, further bloodying the already stained golden breastplate. Her multicolored mane flowed around her as she pivoted and slashed another of the zombies in half, however, she was getting noticeably slower. A thin strand of red blood was making its way down her muzzle from where a particularly lucky zombie had gotten through her defenses before she’d smote it with a blast of force that literally tore the legs out from underneath it.

As much as she hated to admit it Celestia, Ruler of the Sun, Princess of Equestria, Daughter of Faust Herself was... out of practice.

Luna on the other hoof, was having a grand old time.

The blue alicorn streaked through the enemy ranks, heads rolling with every pass as she mercilessly obliterated the rotting corpses. Every blade that turned her way seemed to encounter nothing but mist as she sent back satisfied smirks and return slashes that diced through them at almost the atomic level.

An enterprising zombie tried to distract her as his ‘friends’ slashed at her fetlocks. This seemed to work and the alicorn fell to the ground. The zombies took the initiative and pounced on her bleeding form, only to find themselves stabbing the snow as the illusion vanished. Seconds latter Luna’s silver sword struck out and the three were split in half.

A completely unharmed Luna flickered back into existence above another group of the enemy and rocketed to earth, throwing up a cloud of snow and broken bodies as she impacted with a blast of force. Much to her surprise the ground beneath her began to shake violently.

Out of all the thoughts that could’ve come to Luna at that moment, the one that won out happened to be. Wait... I haven’t gotten fat.

The mare leapt skyward once more just in time to avoid the ground beneath her collapsing with a roar, swallowing several dozen zombies as it did so.

Sensing what was happening Luna sped towards Celestia. “Tia, sound the retreat, this entire plane is unstable and being made even more so at every moment!” Luna shouted above the din of combat.

Celestia’s eyes widened in surprise and she leapt into the air. “Are you sure sister?”

“Positive. If we continue to fight there then our troops will surely die!” Luna replied hurriedly. Celestia nodded and turned to wing towards Shining Armor who was in the middle of deflecting a group of ten zombies all the while slashing away at them with a broadsword.

Celestia blasted all of them away with a lance of force and landed beside him. “Shining, sound the retreat, we haven’t got much time before this entire battlefield collapses in on itself!” she informed him rapidly.

“What? Are you sure?” Shining asked, his eyes widening in surprise.

A sudden shock wave shook the earth and a segment of the battlefield close to the two suddenly disappeared in a puff of snow. Shining’s eyes widened again, but he kept his cool.

“Crystal Army, there’s been a change of plans, we’re getting the hell out of here!” Shining ordered while using a spell to amplify his voice so that everyone on the field could hear it. Then he turned to Celestia. “What about Twily and Ethan? What about my son? They’re under this place right now!” the stallion asked her, quiet intensity in his voice.

The alicorn grimaced. “They’re still fighting Sombra I think... I believe it’s what is causing the ground beneath our hooves to fall,” she replied.

Shining snarled under his breath. “Damnit! Celestia, we need to get her, now!” he told her angrily.

Celestia simply shook her head, a heart wrenching expression on her face. “We can’t Shining.”

“What? What do you mean we can’t? You’re perfectly capable of doing it!” he shouted at her.

“Unfortunately no... I’m unable to help her in this regard,” Celestia said, looking away.

“My sister and my son are in danger of dying and you’re ‘unable’ to help them?” Shining growled. “Why?”

The mare lowered her head so that it was down to Shining’s level. “Shining Armor, I am unable to assist Twilight Sparkle in this matter other than in the capacity of clearing her exit and saving our army. I do not like it, nor do I expect you too, but there is no point in us arguing.” With that said she leapt skyward and pulled him along with her.

Stay safe my love... please, Celestia pled in her mind, hoping that the mare would somehow receive the message.

He was covered in blood. There were pieces of black glass embedded in his feet. And finally he was naked. Then, a piece of stone had had the gaul to hit him in the back of the head.

Ethan gritted his teeth together and continued forward through the cavern, step by step going back along the path that Sombra had painfully carried him through. His blood trail was actually fairly impressive and would ensure that Sombra would be able to easily find him if Twilight wasn’t able to hold out until he got back.

After several more minutes, all of which were spent in extreme agony thanks to the shaking of the ground, he arrived at a door that he’d noticed earlier. Without hesitation the man rammed his entire body into it, driving several of the pieces of obsidian even further into his side drawing even more blood, and thankfully the door buckled beneath his strength.

He quickly scanned the inside of the room, and to his delight found exactly what he was looking for, his armor, his sword, and Cassie’s pistol. With nary a thought about the pain, he slipped the armor and began to make his way back up the way he’d come, a small determined smile on his face.

The beam of molten iron caught Sombra by surprise and it managed to cut through the first four shields that he put up to stop it instantly. The world seemed to slow down to a crawl for the stallion as Twilight steered it towards him with a firm look on her face and an almost animalistic panic appeared in his eyes as the superheated metal glided towards him hissing with heat.

Sombra’s eyes narrowed in concentration and the metal stopped for a moment before continuing inexhaustibly forward towards him. He tried disrupting Twilight’s hold on it, but the mare was stronger then him and she kept her magic completely under her control. Then he tried blasting it, but the iron simply rippled and continued towards him. Desperate to survive he threw up several more force fields, but the iron sliced right through them.

As it closed with him Sombra remembered one last weapon in his arsenal.

“AUNT TWILIGHT NO!” he suddenly screamed in Star’s voice.

Twilight, who had been completely focused on guiding the beam suddenly blinked rapidly and shook her head as she realized how close she’d been to killing her nephew. The liquid metal fell to the cold floor in front of Sombra where it began to harden. That was all the opening Sombra needed, he propelled himself forward with a blast of magic, and slammed into Twilight, knocking her onto her back.

The mare’s head hit the ground with a loud thump and the fire died in her mane as her fur returned to its ordinary purple color. The stallion laughed as he stepped forward and put a hoof on her chest.

“Oh Twilight, that was good, you almost got me with that, almost,” he told her, his eyes narrowing dangerously. “But now it’s time for me to be rid of you,” the stallion growled, his horn beginning to glow. “I’m going to use the same spell on you that I was about to use on your monkey friend. And do you know what my first order to you is going to be?”

Twilight shook her head, both in answer and in an attempt to clear her head.

“I’m going to make you accept me as your one true love, and then together we’ll get rid of those troublesome alicorns and rule Equestria together. Quite fitting if I do say so myself,” he sneered, moving his face closer to Twilight’s until their horns were almost touching.

“No-never,” Twilight said as she tried to pull herself away from him. “I’ll never do that!”

“Oh I think you will, you won’t have a cho-”

There was a sudden swish, and Sombra let out an incredibly loud shriek and tumbled backwards as the front half of his horn suddenly hit the floor. Ethan stood panting and out of breath, blood running from his still bare feet. The sword grasped tightly in his hands and he let out a deep sigh of relief once he saw that Twilight was safe. Then he pivoted and and brought his sword down for Sombra’s leg, cleanly slashing through flesh and bone as if as it was butter.

He was about to finish off the stallion when Twilight’s weak aura surrounded his arm.

“Ethan, don’t,” Twilight gasped as she made it back to her hooves.

“What? Why not!?” Ethan asked, trying to fight his way out of grip.

“That’s Star’s body!” Twilight exclaimed before she released him and galloped over to the squirming stallion. “I need to pull Sombra’s soul out of his body!”

Ethan stared at her, and then a rather large rock fell from the ceiling and clipped him in the shoulder cracking the bone and causing him to fall to his knee with a loud shout of pain. “Hurry Twilight, the cave collapsing!” he told her desperately.

The mare nodded, and her horn began to glow dimly as she lowered it down to touch the struggling Star’s forehead and both of them stiffened. Ethan looked down at them and then reached into his armor's pocket and retrieved a stimpack which he jabbed into Star’s now bloody ended leg, hoping that Twilight worked fast.

Twilight gazed into Star’s soul, what should’ve been a bright and shining spark of brilliance was coated in a black tar like substance that oozed over the light, almost obscuring it completely. She heard a whimpering sound coming from it along with a dark laughter.

This was going to be... impossible to do harmlessly. Twilight barely knew what she was doing in terms of soul magic, she only knew basic theory. The mare steadied herself, and then unleashed a column of energy at the tar, slowly scraping it off. It wasn’t a clean process, and she felt small pieces of the light be torn off with it. With every scrape Twilight winced internally as she harmed her nephew even more.

After what seemed like hours she finally managed to tear all of the disgusting tar off of the light... although now the light was subdued and quiet. The black however was a floating ball of evil shadows.

You think this is over Sparkle? Sombra’s voice asked her. This has barely even BEGUN I WILL-

Sombra’s voice was suddenly silenced as Twilight let out a noiseless scream of rage and began to literally tear Sombra’s soul apart. With furious vengeance she tore up the remaining slivers, continuing to do so until there was absolutely nothing left of the stallion, she would’ve destroyed the very memories and name of him it were possible as well... but that would require far more time and power then she had available at the moment. Slowly... she drifted back to reality.

Twilight’s body suddenly jerked and both she and Star’s eyes opened to see that Ethan was doing his best to shield them from falling rocks with his body. A particularly large one smashed into his opposite shoulder and Twilight heard the bone snap.

“Lovely morning that we’re having here Twilight, NOW get us the FUCK out of here!” Ethan shouted, his voice mixed with pain. “The entrance has collapsed, we need to teleport!” Twilight nodded and her horn began to glow, surrounding the three of them in a bright light... but nothing happened.

“What? What is it now?!” Ethan asked tiredly.

“I-I don’t have enough magic in me to take all three of us...” Twilight said softly. Ethan’s face turned stony for a second before he nodded.

“Right then, you two, get out of here,” he instructed her strictly.

“Ethan I can’t just leave you here!” Twilight shouted back.

“Yes, yes you can,” Ethan replied firmly as Star began to cry, though if it was from the mental trauma, the physical pain, or the yelling was unclear.

“But... you’ll die!” she replied.

To her surprise Ethan just laughed, though it was bitter at best.

“Come on now Twilight, what was the first thing I ever really taught you?” he asked her tiredly.

“That... you’re hard to kill?” Twilight asked slowly as she began to gather what was left of her depleted magic supply.

“Damn right I am,” Ethan replied. “Now get the hell out of here Twilight!” he slapped her flank sharply and the mare jumped in surprise, releasing her magic and causing both she and Star to vanish. Ethan looked up at the crumbling ceiling and pulled out his extra whiskey canteen that Twilight hadn’t known about and took a long drag, waiting for the end to come.

Last Chapter

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Last Chapter

Twilight Sparkle appeared directly in front of Celestia and Shining Armor with a flash of light. Star was beside her, but the... stallion simply whimpered. They were inside of what was clearly a military tent and there were several Crystal soldiers along with General Falchion standing around it.

“Twilight!” Celestia exclaimed, surprise and joy filling her voice as she rushed forward to pull the younger mare into a deep hug.

“Tia!” Twilight exclaimed by way of reply, barely managing it due to the immense strength of the mare’s forelegs. She nuzzled into the mare’s white furred chest and let out a satisfied sigh as she sniffed in the heady scent of vanilla, though at the moment it was mixed with that of blood and sweat. Her mind began to become fuzzy... magic and physical exhaustion started to set in and there was nothing that she wanted to do more than simply fall asleep within her love’s forelegs.

She was snapped out of it by a very surprised shout from her brother as Star suddenly leapt forward and wrapped his forelegs around his neck, sobbing his eyes out. Shining Armor stood petrified in shock... until Star began to whimper.

“Da-dad-daddy,” the stallion whimpered in Star’s voice as he clutched at Shining even tighter as several nearby Crystal ponies began to approach with weapons drawn.

“Sir, that’s Sombr-” Falchion began but was cut off by a harsh glare from Shining.

“I do not think that my Sister would have brought that monster here, so this is obviously not Sombra,” Shining said flatly. As he said the stallion’s name, Star clutched him tighter and buried his face in Shining’s mane, weeping heavily.

As this happened, Celestia released Twilight from her grip and gently set the mare back on the ground.

“Twilight... where’s Ethan?” the mare asked quietly.

“He’s.... he’s still down there Tia... the cave was seconds away from collapsing when I got Star and myself out of it... he’s...” she cut herself off and shook her head, not wanting to think the thought.

“Well then...we’ll just have to dig him out won’t we?” Celestia asked, a determined look on her face.

“Ho-how?” Twilight asked unsteadily. “There are at least a hundred tons of rock between us... and even if he wasn’t crushed he’ll run out of air soon!”

Celestia’s gaze simply hardened. “Ethan will make it out of this alive, you have my word Twilight.”

Of all the places that Ethan had expected to wake up, an apparently prewar waiting room for an office building was not what he’d been expecting. As he blearily blinked his eyes open he found himself sitting on a red leather couch in a white walled room. He looked around in confusion, not quite sure where... or when he was? He got up from the couch, still thoroughly confused.

“You know,” he began, mostly talking to himself. “I always thought that when I died I’d go to heaven... I mean I’m not exactly the religious type so to speak but I think I deserve a bit of credit for what I’ve done.” the man frowned. “But no, apparently I get to spend the rest of eternity in a fucking office... just my luck”

An amused chuckle from behind him made the man turn on a dime and his hand reached for his sword, which he only realized was missing from his side as he finished his turn and came face to face with a tall white alicorn mare. A long brown mane fell gracefully around her shoulders and she looked at him with a clearly amused smile.

“Oh, I wouldn’t be too negative about it,” the mare said. “In fact, you’re not exactly dead in the first place.”

“Okay... who in the fuck are you, and what the hell are you talking about?” Ethan asked her suspiciously.

“Me? I’m Faust, Celestia and Luna’s mother,” the alicorn answered with a small smile. “And I’m saying that you’re not dead. You’re only slowly dying of oxygen deprivation beneath about a hundred tons of stone and earth.”

Ethan stared at her for a moment before responding. “Well isn’t that nice... I feel so much better now.”

The alicorn rolled her eyes. “Well, you’re the one who asked, don’t get snippy with me if you don’t like the answer.”

“Fine...” Ethan let out a small sigh. “Look... you’re the mother of Celestia... you wouldn’t happen to be able to just oh... I don’t know, teleport me back to Twilight?”

Faust shook her head. “No, as much as I’d like to, I’m not able to do that,” she told him, a note of regret entering into her voice.

“Great,” Ethan muttered. “Then I guess this whole thing is just a figment of my imagination isn’t it?”

“Not in the least actually,” Faust answered. “Now, follow me, we can talk about things in a more comfortable place.” With that, she turned around and began to walk down what appeared to be a never ending hallway. Seeing no better alternative, Ethan shrugged his shoulders and followed her. Within a few seconds of walking they abruptly found themselves before a wooden door.

Faust pushed it open easily with her magic and walked inside Ethan followed and he found himself in a well appointed office, the back wall lined with bookshelves and a slew of wooden cabinets. Faust took a seat behind the large mahogany desk that took up the majority of the floor space and nodded him towards a comfy looking leather chair across from it.

On the desk was a picture of Celestia, and Luna along with the alicorn standing happily in front of an old castle that Ethan recognize as a non dilapidated version of the castle Twilight had taken him to after his little... freakout with the diamond dogs.

Beside that picture was one that took him by surprise. It featured a golden haired woman with almost catlike eyes and a pair of pointy ears along with a black dragon roughly the size of a normal pony, rounding it out was a much younger looking Faust. All three were sitting beneath a tree in what was obviously a mountain clearing leaning against each other.

The man shook his head, filing it away as irrelevant and turned his gaze back to the mare before him. She was waiting patiently, though there was an oddly sad look in her eyes as she nodded towards the picture.

“Old... friends of mine,” she explained simply.

Ethan nodded, sensing that it was a subject that she didn’t want to talk about. “Okay... so why am I here?” he asked, changing the topic.

Faust’s face lifted up into a smile. “For me to thank you,” she said.

“Wait, what?” Ethan asked in surprise. “Why would you want to thank me?”

The mare chuckled softly at his surprise. “But of course,” she said, still smiling at him. “You’re the one who kept my daughters’ kingdom from being destroyed by a war between the griffins and the hippogriffs, managed to expose Blueblood for what he truly is, and last but not least allowed Twilight Sparkle to defeat Sombra. Why wouldn’t I want to thank you?”

The man thought about that for a few seconds before he nodded slowly. “Okay, that makes sense but... you wouldn’t happen to be able to give me a thank you present would you? You know, I have saved your daughter’s fuckbuddy’s life a lot, I think you owe me something more than just a thank you.”

Faust simply raised an eyebrow at that.

“And what do you have in mind?” she asked after several seconds of thought.

“I’d say, that you make sure that I stay alive,” Ethan answered, raising an eyebrow at her. “After all, you do owe me right?”

The alicorn returned the raised eyebrow and a quiet snicker leaked out from between her lips. “Oh, I like you,” she said with a small smile. “Wanda really does have good taste.”

“Who?” Ethan asked, clearly mystified.

“Don’t worry about it,” Faust replied easily. “Anyways, unfortunately I’m not allowed to go around granting life, that’s my boss’s job and he’d get annoyed if I stole his thunder.”

“Wait... who’s your boss?” Ethan inquired.

“Don’t worry about it,” Faust said. “The point is, I can’t bring you back from the dead.”

“But you said that I’m not dead!” Ethan shouted.

“You’re not,” she replied.

“Then why are we having this conversation?!” Ethan roared, entirely not in the mood for this type of bullshit.

“Because, you’re the one who started it,” she answered with a chuckle. “by asking me for something you didn’t need.”

Ethan stared at her for a moment incredulously before exclaiming. “Oh, go fuck a duck!”

Faust snorted with laughter and simply shook her head. “No thank you, I’m not attracted to waterfowl. Too many oily feathers.” The man stared at her for another few seconds before he began to laugh as well at the sheer ridiculousness of the entire situation. After several minutes of combined laughter Ethan calmed back down.

“So... am I only here for you to thank me before I die?” he asked slowly.

“Could be,” Faust replied, her own amusement ending.

“Well... you’ve done it... and now I bet I get to meet the Grim Reaper don’t I? Is he nice? We’ve been good friends for a while but he doesn’t really talk to me...” Ethan asked her slowly, a dying smile on his face.

“She’s perfectly nice, though she has always been very quiet,” Faust answered.

“Great... well...” he trailed off. “Is it getting lighter in here, or is that just me?” he asked, noticing that the room was beginning to get a bit harder to see.

“Oh so it is, would you look at that?” Faust asked with a small grin. “I’ll see you around Ethan, take care of Twilight.”

With that the room vanished.

Ethan awoke gasping for breath that he just couldn’t seem to find as Celestia grabbed the last stone and pulled it off of his body with a mighty heave. The man’s winterized power armor, which he’d thought could survive anything, had finally given its last and was wrapped around his body like tinfoil. The man could barely breath within the ruined suit and the shards of obsidian still embedded in his skin tore at his insides.

“Hold on Ethan, I will get you out of there,” Celestia told him gently as her magical grip tightened around him and they vanished.

The next several hours were... a blur to him. When he finally came to, the man was in an unfamiliar medical ward wearing patient's gown and a crystal mare with a sparkling blue mane was gently refilling his IV.

At the sound of his moan, she turned and smiled. “Oh good, you’re awake. We were really worried about you Mister Smith. We’ve never had to remove obsidian from someone before, but let me tell you it was an incredibly difficult job.”

“Gr-” Ethan was cut off as his body convulsed forward and he started to cough heavily. The nurse looked on in concern, and once he’d finished passed him a glass of water. The man downed it in seconds. “Thanks, I needed that,” he informed her before pulling the IV out of his arm. “Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to find Twilight.”

“What? No! You’re not leaving that bed for another week at the very least!” the mare replied sternly.

“Eh, fuck that noise,” Ethan grumbled as he moved his legs to the side of the bed. “I’ve had worse than this and gotten up and finished fighting a damned war hours after waking up.” He then slid himself forward off of the bed and landed easily on his feet. The man almost face planted, but managed to turn it into an awkward stride and began to move away from the protesting mare. “See, I’m fine.”

“I hardly think so,” the nurse shot back with a frown.

“Hey, I’m walking aren’t I?” he asked with a small smile as he exited the otherwise empty infirmary. “Now where is Twilight?”

The nurse let out a sigh. “Follow me, she warned us that this would happen...” The man just smiled and followed her through the twisting hallways to a wooden doorway. “Twilight Sparkle is right through that door.”

“Thanks nurse,” Ethan replied, not even bothering to wait long enough to hear her name as he barged through the door.

On the other side he found Twilight curled up beside Celestia on a couch with a book between her hooves. Shining Armor and Cadence were sitting on another couch, a less... wretched, though certainly far from perfect looking Star sleeping peacefully between them. As he entered the room, Twilight’s eyes lit up.Before Ethan knew what was happening he had a happy unicorn mare, who had jumped at him, wrapping her forelegs around his chest. Without reservation, he returned the hug and pulled Twilight close to him.

“Hey... Twilight,” he said softly.

“Hey... Ethan,” Twilight said just as softly. “You know... I was worried about you for a little while there.”

“I’m hard to kill Twilight,” Ethan replied. “You should know that by now.” He put the mare back to the ground to see Celestia looking at him, a small smile on her face.

“I’m glad to see that you’re alive an well as well, Ethan. It would’ve been a shame if I used all that magic to dig you out of there and you’d died in the hospital,” Celestia said jokingly.

“Don’t worry Sunny, I wouldn’t want to disappoint Sparky’s favorite fuckbuddy like that,” he told her with a wry smile. They exchanged a long look for a moment before Ethan broke it by turning to Star. “And... how is Star?”

“Damaged but alive,” Cadence said softly as she glanced down at the snoring stallion beside her. “He will likely never really be... whole again. But it is better than the alternative.”

“Thank you Ethan,” Shining added with a bittersweet smile.

“Happy to help...” Ethan replied before turning back to Twilight. “So... I think I’m ready to go home...”

The mare sighed but nodded. “I know... I’m sorry that your ‘vacation’ turned into... whatever it is that this was,” she told him regretfully.

“Eh, we had fun though right?” Ethan asked her with a smirk. “How many people can say that they’ve faced down an entire army of zombies and won?”

Twilight chuckled. “Yeah, you’re right. We did have fun,” she said.

“Yep, so, about sending me back... do you have all my gear? I don’t know what Cassie would do to me if I lost any of her stuff, probably castrate me,” he said, a small grin slipping onto his face.

“Faust forbid that,” Twilight said with a small grin of her own. “And yes, your weapons are all right over there.” she nodded towards a corner of the room where a large duffle bag was lying.

Ethan stared at her for a moment and then turned to Celestia. “Oh, and that reminds me, I met your mother. I can see where you get your sense of humor.”

The mare simply raised an eyebrow. “Yes, several ponies have said that...”

“Oh, and she said that I get to ride you around the castle one day in order to pay off her debt,” Ethan told her with a sly smile.

Celestia’s face paled but she shook her head. “So be it. You certainly deserve at least that much... I misjudged you when you first got here Ethan... and I apologize for that.”

He shrugged as he went over to the duffle bag and quickly checked to make sure that everything was in it, then with a nod he zipped it shut. “Don’t worry about it, Celestia.” Ethan turned back to Twilight. “Alright Sparky, send me home.”

Twilight walked up and gave him one last hug, before her horn flared and Ethan vanished.

“You know... I think I’m going to miss that man,” Celestia said with a faintly amused smile. “I may even let him ride me.”

“He’ll have to fight me for that right,” Twilight replied with a chuckle before she returned to her spot beside the mare and got back to her reading.

Cassandra Smith looked over her handiwork with a smile. Things had gone perfectly, the strike teams had all done their jobs to perfection and all across the Mojave the Tunneler nests had been cleared out via napalm and flamers. The woman continued to smile as the smoke rose out of the last nest, the one that she’d been responsible for clearing, then she nodded and turned away, Boone at her side.

“And... done,” she declared. “Hopefully, that’ll be enough of a message to tell the tunnelers to stay the hell out of my desart.”

“I hope so,” Boone agreed with a small nod.

“Oh, I’m sure they will,” she replied with a smile.

There was a sudden flash of light in front of her and to the woman’s surprise, Ethan appeared before her wearing nothing but a hospital gown.

“Cassie!” he shouted, rushing up to her and embracing her in a tight hug.

“Ethan? What are you doing here?” Cassandra asked with a raised eyebrow even as she returned the embrace.

“I’m home,” he replied simply. “And more importantly, you’re still alive!”

Cassandra looked at him worriedly for a moment but internally shrugged and pulled away from him enough to give him a kiss on the lips. “Of course I am Ethan,” she said once they’d broken the kiss. “Now, let’s get back home.”

The man smiled and wrapped one of his arms around her back. “Yeah, let’s.”

The three walked away into the sunset, heading for the tallest tower in the desert.

Author's Notes:

Thanks go to Omega and Tony who helped me write these last few chapters, without them I'd have never been able to finish this thing!

So just for clarification, this is where the story ends and anything that I post after this is strictly supplemental in nature so if you'd like to review it the story you can do it now.

Next, as some of you know, the next story that continues Ethan's story is known as the Labyrinth of Madness and can be found on Tony1685's profile (seriously go read it now!)

Next, my next standalone fallout story (Wandering Moon) is already in production and anyone who wants to know more about it should check out my blog for details.

Finally, I'd just like to say thank you to all of you guys who have stuck with me over the year or so that I've been writing this story, you're all amazing!