• Published 23rd Oct 2012
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Light Wanderings - ed2481



Ethan Smith The Lone Wanderer goes to Equestria, hilarity ensues

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Chapter 3

Edited by TacoTown and Furta E

Chapter 3

They entered the dining hall to find that they were the last to arrive. Princess Luna sat just to the left of the center, and a space next to her had been reserved for her sister. Two seats to her right were Shining Armor, a pink alicorn, and a blonde unicorn stallion. Twilight’s friends were nowhere in sight, but Ethan supposed that was to be expected at a dinner filled with this many diplomats.

Sitting next to Luna was a large, white, fur and feathered creature that looked to be a cross between a lion and a bird of prey, both of which Ethan had seen in a book. Hard red eyes looked Ethan over with a mix of curiosity, and Ethan thought he saw a hint of respect. If his memory was right, then this was the griffin. Sitting on the opposite end of the table closer to Cadence was an odd creature that Ethan assumed to be the hippogriff.

The entire front half of the hippogriff was taken up by brown feathers spotted with dark golden feathers. A large pair of falcon-like wings extended from its back, obscuring the rest of its body. A sharp, piercing beak took up the majority of its face, and the rest was a pair of golden hawk eyes that looked at Ethan, and the man suddenly had the feeling that a mouse in a field gets while a hawk circles ominously overhead. Ethan did what he did naturally when he felt threatened, and gave the hippogriff a large tooth filled smile while his blue eyes flashed dangerously, promising violence if needed. The hippogriff snorted once, and rose to its hooves/talons, revealing that the rest of its body was that of a proud black stallion. He walked directly in front of the table and began to stare into Ethan’s eyes.

“Bow respectfully.” Twilight hissed.

“Or what?” Ethan asked back.

“Or he guts you for dishonoring him; he’s also easily capable of hearing everything that we’re saying so keep your mouth clean.” Twilight replied.

Ethan shrugged internally before gallantly lowering his upper body into a fluid bow. Once he rose, he was surprised to find that the hippogriff had begun to return the bow, and gave Ethan a bow just as deep and fluid as the one that Ethan had given him. The bird then cocked its head to the side and met Ethan’s gaze at an angle.

“I have not met one of your species previously, but at least you know how to give your equals courtesy, unlike some whom I have met here. My name is Sharphooves Bloodtalon, but you may call me Sharp or Ambassador if you would prefer.” The hippogriff said in an imperious voice while he cast a vexed look towards the griffin, who simply smiled pleasantly back. Ethan briefly pondered how a beak was capable of smiling, but decided that it wasn’t worth the bother.

“I only bow to my King or my Princess, and you’re rather lacking when compared to either of them.” The griffin replied, her voice was smooth but Ethan could hear a large amount of laughter contained inside. If Ethan had to guess, he’d say that she was middle aged. “I’m Ambassador Nymira by the way.” The white griffin added, turning to Ethan.

“Why you insist on disrespecting my customs even when this stranger, unfamiliar with my peoples’ practices respects them?!” The hippogriff said with a hint of anger entering his commanding voice, and his feathers began to ripple along the scruff of his neck.

“The stranger obviously hasn’t been taught how to properly ignore your peoples’ pointle-” The griffin began.

“Hey!” He said, loud enough to cut her off, everyone in the room was now staring at him.

“Alright, now that I have your attention I’d like to explain something. I’m here as a friend of Sparky’s, not as a political ally. And besides that I generally don’t like being dragged into politics. I’ve spent too much time killing people to be very good at doing anything but negating negotiations.” Ethan explained calmly.

“I was simply seeking a proper introduction, as is the practice of my people.” Sharp said as his feathers began to lie back down.

“That’s fine. If either of you want to legitimately be my friend, that’s awesome. Hell, the more the merrier! But the second that either of you tries to turn me into a tool, I’ll recede that friendship…violently.” Ethan said, putting extra force on the last word. “Furthermore, I’m also here to protect Sparky from you if one of you gets hungry. Now, I’ll make this warning once and only once. If either of you hurts her I’ll tear your head off your body, spine and all, and affix it to the nearest wall with a pike.” Ethan finished this little speech by casually drawing A Light Shining in the Darkness and slowly sliding a fresh clip into it.

He didn’t know why he did that, it wasn’t as if any of them besides a select few of the Equestrians had ever seen a firearm before, let alone knew what he was doing with it. On the other hand, Ethan had the feeling that anyone could interpret the threat, even with no knowledge of what a gun was. Ethan also had the oddest feeling that Cassandra was going to kill him for borrowing that particular weapon, but she’d told him to use her armory and he’d always wanted to carry it. To Ethan’s and everyone else in the room’s surprise the griffin ambassador began to chuckle.

“Oh you and I are going to get along just fine. I can’t say the same for you and Sharpy there, but I prefer my men straight and to the point.” The griffin continued.

“Are you hitting on me?” Ethan asked, causing Twilight to facehoof.

“No, but I’m available if you’re interested.” The albino griffin replied with a shrug and a slight twinkle in her eye.

“Erhem.” Celestia said, clearing her throat pointedly. “Perhaps we should all sit down and enjoy the meal.” She continued.

“As you wish, Princess. I’m sorry to have been so inconsiderate to my fellow diners.” Sharp said, inclining his head and giving Celestia an extremely deep bow before going back to his seat.

Celestia took her place at the head of the table, and Twilight sat in the open chair next to her. Ethan was stuck between Shining Armor and the blonde unicorn, who was currently shooting him dirty looks for some unknown reason. A group of servants arrived bearing platters of food. Ethan got a large steak that seemed to almost melt in his mouth with every bite, along with a drink of something frothy and apple tasting. His dinner also came with a nice steak knife and a fork. Now that the main excitement of Ethan’s arrival had burned down, Shining turned to look at the man with a small smile on his face.

“Still causing trouble I see.” The unicorn said as he stabbed another piece of his salad with a fork. Around them others at the table had all struck up their own conversations, but Ethan wasn’t listening to them.

“When am I not…wait…shouldn’t you hate me?” Ethan asked in complete confusion, once he remembered that it was Shining who he was talking to.

“I wasn’t really feeling myself back then; to be honest the last time you talked to me I was still wrapped in several layers of mind control spells that were… detrimental to my personality. Thankfully my wife Cadence found them before I became like that permanently.” Shining explained before he took another bite of his salad.

“I’m glad to hear it; I’m going to assume that the pink one is Cadence.” Ethan said, with a tilt of his head towards the pink alicorn, who looked up at the sound of her name.

“That’s right; it’s very nice to meet you.” Cadence said, giving Ethan a large, genuine smile.

“The pleasure is mine.” Ethan said, returning the smile before taking another succulent bite of steak; he had to admit that for a bunch of hay eating herbivores the ponies sure knew how to cook a good steak.

“So, Shining tells me that you’re the reason why Twilight can still walk and see.” Cadence said.

“Well that was more Rothchild then me, but yeah, I helped.” Ethan replied with a modest shrug.

“Still, I have you to thank that my sister in law is still capable of functioning, and for that you have my thanks.” Cadence told him sweetly.

“It was what anyone should do, not that they do most of the time, but it’s what should happen.” Ethan said with a slight scowl.

“Twilight has told us about where you come from. Your home seems very… unpleasant.” Cadence remarked slowly, hoping not to offend him.

“Hell, unpleasant doesn’t even begin to describe the Wasteland. Take the most fucked up place in Equestria, add in a healthy mix of blood thirsty murderers, a few hundred mutants, a few zealous technology hoarders, and enough radiation to shake a stick at and you’ve got the Wasteland.” Ethan said with a mirthless chuckle.

“Well I can certainly see where you picked up your atrocious manners then.” The blonde stallion in front of Ethan commented.

“You have a problem with the way I’m eating?” Ethan asked before popping another bite into his mouth and chewing noisily with his mouth open.

“Gah you are nothing but a savage!” The blonde unicorn said, looking away in disgust.

“I have simply no idea what you’re talking about.” Ethan told him while he drank a bit more of his apple drink and splashed some on the blonde unicorn’s face.

“How dare you!” The pony stuttered as he wiped at his face with his free hoof, frantically trying to clean off the liquid.

“I’m a savage, how could I know any better?” Ethan asked as his fork snapped out and speared one of the unicorn’s tomatoes before biting down on it and letting the juice run down his face, before casually rubbing it off with the sleeve of his duster.

“I am Prince Blueblood, second order of the Equestrian Crown and I will not let a monkey treat me this way!” Blueblood exclaimed angrily.

“And I’m Ethan Smith, what’s your point?” Ethan asked with a grin as he speared another of Blueblood’s tomatoes.

“My point is that you can’t just treat me like this, you son of a whore!” Blueblood said.

“Did you just call my mother a whore?” Ethan asked, narrowing his gaze.

“Did I stutter?” Blueblood asked with a smirk. “And I imagine that your father was a drunken -” Blueblood was cut off mid-sentence as Ethan’s hand closed over his jaw, silencing him.

“The last person to say something like that about either of my parents ended up as a decapitated quadriplegic. Would you care to finish that thought?” Ethan asked dangerously before releasing Blueblood’s jaw.

“You are nothing but a worthless whoreson, whose father was a drunken malcontent!” Blueblood said loud enough to silence all conversation at the table.

“Actually, both of my parents were Doctors.” Ethan replied simply before his fist crashed into Blueblood’s face, sending the Prince rocketing backwards out of his chair and onto the floor. “And if you ever insult them again then I hope the devil will help you, ‘cause God sure as hell won’t.” Ethan continued before he took another bite of steak.

“Guards, seize him!” Blueblood shouted as he staggered to his hooves, a large bruise was beginning to appear on the side of his face from the punch, already standing out quite noticeably from his white fur.

A few of the guards in the room started forward towards Ethan, but then he turned to them and gave them a confident smirk. That look stopped them in their tracks. It spoke of unimaginable violence and a familiarity with death that scared each and every one of them. It promised that they wouldn’t survive any attempt to apprehend the man before them. His blue eyes had hardened into hard glasslike objects that suddenly gave the guards the uncomfortable feeling that if the man wanted to he could kill each and every one of them before they could so much as take a step.

“What are you morons waiting for? I said seize him!” Blueblood shouted at the guards.

“Stand down all of you.” Luna commanded simply, and each and every guard in the room immediately relaxed and returned to their previous posts.

“But Auntie, he punched me!” Blueblood shouted indignantly as he rubbed the growing bruise.

“If you had insulted my sire and dame in that way, I would’ve killed you.” Ambassador Sharp said from his seat near Cadence. Ethan had completely forgotten about the hippogriff during his conversation with Shining and Cadence.

“I actually agree with you for once, Sharpy. Hell, if you’d insulted my mother that way I would’ve eaten you.” Nymira agreed with a chuckle as she sliced off another piece of her meat with a claw before casually eating it, as Blueblood stared at the two diplomats in horrified amazement.

“Nephew, perhaps you should retire to the healers to make sure that that bruise doesn’t get any worse.” Celestia suggested.

“But, Auntie!” Blueblood protested.

“We will discuss it later.” Celestia said with finality. Blueblood was about to argue until he saw the look in his aunt’s eye. It was the look that she reserved for times when the nobles truly irked her.

“Yes, Auntie.” Blueblood said, submitting before he gave the high table a bow and walked out of the room; head held high.

“A prince should not forget himself in such a manner, it is disgraceful.” Sharp said harshly before turning back to his meal with a shrug.

“Well that was fun. I hope our future negotiations will involve more hitting.” Nymira said with a chuckle before she turned back to her meal while Celestia, Luna, Cadence, and Twilight sighed simultaneously.

“Nice punch, I’ve been dying to do that for years.” Shining whispered to Ethan quietly.

“Thanks. I didn’t really hit him that hard but it always feels good to punch a stuck up ass in the face.” Ethan replied with a grin while he wondered what Cassandra was doing.

***

General Susan Murphy sat across from Cassandra, sitting in a comfortable plastic office chair while Cassandra sat in a posh leather spinning one. The office was located just below the penthouse, and had been House’s secondary business office back in the days before the war. The floor was covered by a thick red carpet that Cassandra had spent several thousand caps on, and a desk made of mahogany, also obscenely expensive, separated the two women. A bookshelf covered one wall; while a complete map of the Mojave along with smaller maps of Zion, Big Mountain, and the Divide took up the other. A large glass window sat behind the desk letting light stream in, but from the other side it looked just like the metal that made up the rest of the building. Cassandra had moved to this office because she felt that it made a better impression on guests then sitting in front of Yes Man’s giant smiling face.

Susan’s blonde hair, as always, fell behind her head in a long (for military standards) tight ponytail that reached her shoulder blades. Her blue eyes looked into Cassandra’s green ones with the quiet intensity of someone who had been taught to really look at things before she acted. At the door, two NCR troopers who were both standing rigidly at attention, a pair of assault carbines were held loosely in their grips.

“It’s good to see you again, Susan.” Cassandra said, inclining her head to the younger woman.

“It’s good to see you too, Cassandra.” Susan said, giving Cassandra a brief smile before her face darkened.

“I take it that this isn’t exactly a social visit, is it now?” Cassandra questioned simply.

“Correct,” She began “Something odd is going on near Goodsprings.” Susan said with a deep frown.

“Go on.” Cassandra said, gesturing with her right hand.

“At first it was nothing. The local coyote population disappeared overnight. At first we assumed that they’d just moved on because we didn’t find any bodies, but we scanned the area and found absolutely no coyotes anywhere within a fifty mile radius of our fort. That was unsettling to say the least, but it wasn’t enough to make me worried. Then something much more disturbing happened. You know how difficult it was for us to build our fort, correct?” Susan asked Cassandra, who nodded.

“I did warn you. That entire canyon is a Cazador filled death-trap.” Cassandra answered.

“Yes you did, and if you hadn’t we wouldn’t have been able to set up at all. But here’s the disturbing thing. Every single Cazador in the canyon is gone. Completely gone, without a single trace.” Susan told her. Cassandra was suddenly chilled to the bone despite the hot rays of sunset light shining down on her from the large window behind her.

Nothing could displace Cazadors once they’d decided to nest somewhere. Cassandra had cleared out some nests several dozen times, but the tenacious bugs had always moved right back in. If it weren’t for the fact that they were so damn dangerous Cassandra would respect them, though as it was she’d vowed a personal vendetta against the things after they’d sent her limping back towards Doc Mitchell’s house hours after her recovery. If kind words could tan hides, then Doc Mitchell could’ve made a fortune in the business thanks to his impressive ability to convey just how stupid she’d been, to simply attempt that trail, only hours after she’d woken up from a gunshot induced coma.

“Have you preformed additional checks?” Cassandra asked Susan, who nodded once.

“Yes, we’ve been through at least eight times and we never found a trace.” She answered before turning to her two guards. “Would you two mind finding a better place to wait?” She asked them.

They saluted and walked off in the direction of one of the other room. Susan leaned forward onto the desk and let her calm mask fall away.

“I’m scared, Cassandra. Nothing should be able to dislodge that many Cazadors, I tried everything. Hell, I even used a few mininukes, but they always came back. All that I know is that whatever got rid of them managed to do it without signs of a struggle.” Susan whispered quietly. “I’ve never heard of anything capable of that, not even a pack of Deathclaws.” She added.

“Have you found any clues, whatsoever?” Cassandra asked.

“No.” Susan answered before she stopped to think about it. “Well… now that you mention it the ground looked a little disturbed, almost like a Mole-rat had dug underneath it, but aside from that, I can’t think of anything.” Susan said.

“I’ll look into this, I promise you, Susan.” Cassandra said while her green eyes flared.

“Thank you, Cassandra. I know that you haven’t always agreed with the NCR about what’s best for New Vegas, but I know that you still have a soft spot for your old nation.” Susan told her with a slight smile on her face. Cassandra grimaced.

“It stopped being my nation when it was taken over by blind politicians and idiot generals, no offense.” Cassandra replied.

“None taken.” Susan agreed with a dry chuckle. She didn’t appreciate the direction her country was heading either, but she’d decided to stay the course. “So where is your husband these days?” Susan asked changing topics.

“You wouldn’t believe me if I told you.” Cassandra replied with a smirk.

“Okay, fine. Don’t tell me.” Susan said, rolling her eyes before getting up to leave. “Oh, and by the way there’s a tall man in a First Recon beret waiting for you down in the main casino.” Susan said as she made her way towards the elevator. Cassandra gasped in surprise, there could only be one man that fit that description who would be capable of getting into the Lucky 38 without an appointment.

“Send him up; tell him to meet me in the suite!” Cassandra said excitedly as a large smile broke across her face.

“Sure. You know that there’s only one elevator, right?” Susan asked with a note of confusion.

“I have my ways.” Cassandra answered enigmatically.

“Alright, I’ll send him up.” Susan told Cassandra with a smile as she shook her head at the other woman’s attitude. She called her two guards back to her and they quickly made for the main elevator. Cassandra waited till they were gone before she walked over to the bookcase and reached behind one of the picture frames sitting across it. It was a picture of all her friends and companions standing in front of the Lucky 38 smiling at the camera; the picture had been taken two days after the battle of the dam. Cassandra felt a slight pain of sorrow at the thought. The only three of her friends who had stayed behind were Veronica, Arcade, and Rex. The others had all left to pursue their own goals, including the man who was now on his way up to her room.

Her finger found the hidden crevice easily, and with a slight application of pressure the bookshelf split down the middle and created an opening large enough for Cassandra to slip through. Behind the bookshelf was a small room containing a private elevator that could be used to quickly get between floors. She stepped inside it quickly before pressing the button that stood for her suite.

The ride was smooth and fast, and Cassandra soon found herself in her private bathroom. With a small smile she walked out of the room and into the main hallway just as the main elevator door opened.

Boone stepped out of the elevator with a small grin on his face as he caught sight of Cassandra, and he walked towards her without speaking before he grabbed her and pulled her into a hug. It wasn’t the hug of a lover; no it was the hug that you gave a friend that you haven’t seen in nine months. She felt his strong arms coil around her and she returned the hug with equal strength. Once they’d had enough the two let go of each other and stepped slightly away from each other, both suddenly feeling extremely awkward.

“So how’d your trip go?” Cassandra asked as she walked towards the common room.

“Good, I got a lot of thinking done." Boone replied with a surprisingly happy tone in his voice.

“I would hope so, nine months is a lot of time.” Cassandra said with a dry chuckle before she sat down in one of the chairs around the central table, and offered Boone the one in front of it, which he took.

“Yeah, about that. Sorry I didn’t write, I was kinda busy.” Boone said, rubbing the back of his neck.

“Don’t worry about it; at least I knew what you were doing for the most part.” Cassandra said with a shrug.

“Thanks Cassie, I just needed to get away.” Boone told her with a sigh.

“Like I said, it’s fine.” Cassandra told him again, but inside she felt like an important piece of her had been restored to its proper place.

“So I hear you and Ethan had twins.” Boone said, changing topics.

“Yep, a boy named Ash and a girl named Shade.” Cassandra replied with a smile at the thought of her children.

“I’m glad to hear it, you deserve some happiness.” Boone told her.

“Isn’t that the truth.” Cassandra said, looking at her hands. The Divide still burned in the back of her mind; it was a wound that would never truly leave her.

“What was that General doing here?” Boone asked.

“Something’s happening around Goodsprings, I’m going to be investigating.” Cassandra replied.

“Can I come?” Boone asked.

“Always.” Cassandra told him with a smile. She’d missed the man, and solving a mystery was without a doubt the best way to reconnect. Her thoughts were broken by the sound of the twins wailing. “I’d better help Wadsworth.” Cassandra said, getting to her feet. “Why don’t you get yourself a drink?”

“Don’t mind if I do. Oh, and Cassie?” Boone said as she began walking towards the door.

“Yeah?” She asked as she turned to face him.

“It feels good to be home.” He told her with a smile.