Edited by TacoTown
Chapter 19
Ethan awoke to a feeling that he was uncomfortably familiar with. That feeling was being hung upside down by his feet while his body was constricted by dozens of ropes, and he was pretty sure that he heard some chains clinking. A thick blindfold covered his eyes and prevented him from looking at his surroundings. Oh, and he was stark naked too. A tiny smile appeared on his face, this was better then he'd been expecting.
“Hmm… You know, I can’t tell if I’ve been taken prisoner or if this is some kind of elaborate foreplay. Personally I’m hoping for the first, less heartbreak that way when I have to say no to the very generous invitation.” Ethan said with a chuckle.
“Be silent you obnoxious little ape!” A vicious female voice said loudly from beside Ethan’s ear, and then he felt the impact of some kind of whip across his back. Ethan turned in the voice’s direction.
“Oh, so I’ve been taken hostage by a dominatrix. Sorry hun, but I’m not into that.” Ethan told her with a smile.
“I said be quiet!” The shrill voice shouted again and Ethan felt the whip slap against his back once more.
“Is that really the best that you’ve got? I’ve met botflies that can hit harder then you, with their wings!” Ethan informed her. The mare let out an angry hiss and began to whip him repeatedly. “Keep that up and it might start to sting a bit!” He added encouragingly.
“Enough of this, it accomplishes nothing!” A stallion’s voice shouted from the left.
“Oh, I don’t know about nothing, but it certainly makes it more obvious that you guys suck at this.” Ethan told them frankly. “I mean, where are the terrified screams of the other prisoners or the rippling applause of the crowd of happy onlookers who can’t wait to see me eaten by whatever monster that I’ll be killing soon with my bare hands?”
“You hear the way he talks down to us? His arrogance is unequaled in all of Equestria!” A familiar stallion’s voice shouted from the left.
“Oh, hey there Blueballs, I was wondering when you’d show up.” Ethan said with a smirk. “And the fact that I’m naked suddenly makes a lot more sense now that I think about it…” Ethan added, trailing off.
“How dare you march into my Aunt’s court and embarrass me, in front of foreign ambassadors no less!” Blueblood shouted.
“Well it’s not as if you had any respect in the first place from what I can tell.” Ethan replied with an upside down shrug.
“As you can plainly see, this creature deserves no form of pity. He is a danger to our aristocracy and a public menace, as clearly demonstrated by his destructive excursions in the city!” Blueblood shouted, garnering several shouts of agreement from ponies who Ethan had never heard before.
“Well, I guess the fact that I probably saved several of you from a frost troll a few hours doesn’t count as good conduct, eh?” Ethan asked.
“Would someone please gag the miscreant?” Blueblood asked.
“With pleasure, my Prince.” The mare from before said as a strip of duct tape suddenly attached itself to Ethan’s mouth, silencing him.
“Now as I was saying…” Blueblood began.
Ethan rolled his eyes behind the blindfold and began to hum to himself around the gag; it was only a matter of time till Twilight showed up. In the meantime he would have a great time annoying the hell out of his captors.
***
Twilight Sparkle awoke as to bright rays of sunlight as they cascaded through her window. She yawned and gave a big stretch with her forelegs above her head before she slowly got out of bed. And then it suddenly struck her. She wasn’t in Celestia’s bedroom, not only that but she wasn’t in any bedroom in the palace. No, she was in her old room in her parents’ house. As the realization struck her, Twilight’s eyes shot open in surprise and she ran for the door in a desperate attempt to vacate the room before her parents decided to check on her. If it had been any time other than the first thing in the morning she might have just teleported away without incident, but her brain had yet to fully awaken.
Instead, she walked out of her bedroom and rushed down the stairs to the front door. She was just about to open the door when a familiar magic reached out and grabbed her. Twilight found herself being floated towards the kitchen and into a chair that was facing another unicorn. Said unicorn looked a lot like Twilight, except for the difference in her mane and fur. Well, and Twilight had her mechanical eye and leg, but that doesn’t exactly count. The unicorn sitting across was Star Sparkle, Twilight’s mother.
“Mom, I need to go.” Twilight said very levelly.
“I’m sure you do dear, but I can’t help but feel like you’re spending too much time with your head buried in your tutor’s plot and not enough talking to your lonely mother.” Star told her daughter.
“For the last time, Celly isn’t my tutor mom!” Twilight shouted.
“Testy, testy, testy, has your tutor told you that you’re adorable when you get angry? You get this darling little look in your eyes.” Her mother told her with an unconcerned chuckle.
“You-I-blarg.” Twilight replied intelligently as she fumbled for the right words.
“Now you just need to figure out how to use contractions and you’ll be golden.” Star told her daughter encouragingly.
“Look mom… I need to go and find out whether or not anyone I know died last night at the Gala.” Twilight told her mother as calmly as possible.
“A few guards are in critical and Princess Gilda of the Griffins is recovering from severe blood loss but that’s about it. Or at least that’s what your tutor told me to tell you.” Star answered without missing a beat.
“What the hell happened to Gilda? The last time I saw her she was running her furry ass out of the room.” Twilight asked.
“Have I mentioned how much I love the way you curse now dear? It’s so unbelievably endearing, especially when you can do it so casually. It almost makes me want to send you to visit some of the more aggravating dunces at work just so that you could tear into them with your whip-like tongue.” Star said without answering the question. “Of course, the hypocritical bastards wouldn’t get the point in the first place so I’m not sure whether or not it would be worth the effort.” She continued with a shrug.
“Mom, seriously. I need to know about what happened.” Twilight told her mother. “How did Gilda get hurt? Are my friends alright? What happened with Ethan and did he start any new wars?”
“I still haven’t met that stallion, although from everything that you and your tutor have told me he must be some kind of monster-” Star said, fixing her daughter with a smirk as she opened her mouth to defend her friend. “-in bed.” Her mother finished with a smile.
“Mom, you’re absolutely impossible. Even more then he is.” Twilight said before hitting her forehead gently against the tabletop in frustration.
“Oh, so you haven’t gotten in bed with him yet; well keep at it dear I’m sure he’ll fall for you eventually. If I were you I’d try doing that dance that you and Cadence made up. You know, with your plot in his face.” Star suggested tacitly.
“I don’t want to have sex with Ethan mom!” Twilight said exasperatedly. “He’s married!”
“And?” Star asked while raising an eyebrow.
“And they’re monogamous!” Twilight answered.
“That poor stallion, the dear doesn’t know what he’s missing out on.” Star said with a sorry shake of her head.
“Mom, trust me. He’s very happy with it. Besides, he says that if he was going to have sex with any horse then it would be Luna, apparently she has a nice ass.” Twilight told her mother.
“Ah, so he’s going after the same goal as your father then?” Star asked.
“HE’S WHAT?” Twilight shouted.
“Your father is trying to bring light to the night.” Her mother said, rolling her eyes at the horrible pun.
“Why is my family so fucked up?” Twilight asked.
“Because dear, with great power comes great instability, and in the case of your grandmother great insanity, but that’s beside the point.” Her mother said. “Anyways dear, you’ve just got to talk to him about how you feel deep down and I’m sure that he’ll understand.” Star added as she patted Twilight shoulder comfortingly.
“Mother. I’m. Not. In. Love. With. ETHAN!” Twilight shouted.
“Who said anything about love dear? I was talking about sex.” Star asked.
“That’s it, I’m done. I can’t take anymore of you today. Goodbye mom.” Twilight said before she got out of her chair and headed for the door. To her annoyance, her mother got up and followed her.
“I want to meet this strapping stallion so I can see if he’s really up to my standards for you.” Star told her daughter.
“Mom, first thing is he’s not a stallion, if you’re going to refer to him like that then use the word man. Second, and more importantly; I am not trying to seduce him!” Twilight shouted before opening the door and walking out, with her mother following next to her.
“The more you deny it the more obvious it is dear, I’m the expert on interspecies relationships so I should know.” Star said.
“Mom, you’re the head professor on interspecies studies, not relationships!” Twilight said exasperatedly.
“It all boils down to sex Twilight.” Star told her frankly with a bit of a chuckle.
“How am I related to you again?” Twilight asked with a sigh.
“Oh it’s because your father had sex with me under the full moon that one night.” Star replied.
Twilight groaned and instead of replying just ignored her mother and continued on her way to the Palace. They arrived in close to record time, thanks to Twilight’s subtle attempt to outrun her mother. The duo marched straight past the guards and through the gates of the palace, along with the front door and down the hallways until they arrived at Ethan’s doorway.
“Here mom. If you really want to meet him so bad he should be in here.” Twilight told her mother, who rolled her eyes.
“Honestly Twilight, you treat me like I’m was some kind of shrew that always nags you about getting married.” Her mother said, sounding offended.
“No, I treat you like the extremely a horny mother who always wants to know about my nights with Celestia.” Twilight told her with a look of aggravated annoyance.
“Well dear, that’s just because you don’t share gossip. I mean, here you are having sex with a goddess and you’re not even sharing any of the good details.” Star said shrewdly.
“There’s lots of screaming involved and I can hear it all the way in the courtroom.” Luna said, walking up behind them. “Anyways Twilight, have you seen Ethan? He wasn’t at breakfast, and he wasn’t with Tia so we assumed that he’d somehow gotten to your house…” She said, trailing off. “Which means that he’s either hiding in the castle, randomly wandering the streets of Canterlot, or been kidnapped.” Luna said
“Knowing Ethan, I’m leaning towards the last option.” Twilight said sourly. “Well this is just fan-fucking-tastasitc!” She added acidly.
“You’re in a good mood today.” Luna told her with a slight smirk.
“Try spending time with her for a while as she badgers you about your love life and you’ll sound about the same.” Twilight said with a nod to her mother, who just smirked back.
“Oh, that reminds me. Tell your husband that as much as I would love to have him “light up my night”, I’m currently chasing someone different, so he should give it up for at least a month or so. Depending on how well I do I’ll let him know if I’m available then.” Luna told Twilight’s mother, who nodded.
“I’ll make sure to tell him that, although I’d be interested to know who your target is, if you don’t mind me asking of course.” Star said.
“Oh he’s just this guy I found; I’m not sure whether he’ll think I’m good enough for him. Apparently he’s used to sleeping with queens.” Luna said with a chuckle.
“Well, go for it sister. You only live once.” Star told her with a grin.
“Gah, I’m going to find Tia and see if she knows where Ethan is.” Twilight said turning her back on her mother, who was getting into an interesting conversation with Luna about the importance of reach and flexibility. Once she’d left Luna’s smile died a bit and she gave Star a slight glare.
“Is it really necessary for you to do that to her?” The princess asked.
“It’s the only way she’s ever seen me act since she hit puberty. If I changed now it would probably break her.” Star replied. “Besides, she knows I care.”
“Have it your way then.”
***
Ethan was getting bored, on the bright side his plan was going well. Blueblood and the other nobles had been crowing about him being a bad influence on the Princesses, disrupting the peace, making unicorns look inferior, and several other things that he really, really, really, couldn’t bring himself to give a damn about. On the bright side, the monologue had given him the chance to get the ropes fastening his hands together untied. After that he’d moved onto his legs and he’d just finished loosening the bindings on his feet when Blueblood’s melodramatic speech ended.
“So what do you have to say in your defense ape?” Blueblood shouted. Someone tore the ductape off of Ethan’s mouth so that he could speak.
“I’d just like to say that you’re a pussy licked little bitch who’s never going to accomplish anything worthwhile in life. As for my defense, well, I zoned out about halfway through your little monologue, but I’ve really got nothing to say. It’s hard to defend against lies, especially when they’re told by a self-entitled little prick like you.” Ethan replied. “Anyways, I’d just like to say that no one here probably likes you, and they only hang out with you because you’re a ‘prince’.”
“How dare you!” Blueblood shouted in outrage.
“Very easily actually.” Ethan replied with a smirk. That’s when he felt the dagger stab into his stomach.
“What do you have to say to that monster?!” Blueblood shouted.
“Kinky.” Ethan said with a chuckle. Blueblood answered this by letting out a scream of rage as he haphazardly slashed at Ethan’s midsection with the dagger, all the while screaming incoherently. Ethan’s mind went to that little corner it went occasionally when his body was in immense pain.
The minute that the slashing stopped, Ethan’s wounds began to heal and he allowed himself to come back to reality. “Wow, I wouldn’t have bet on you being a screamer. Normally that’s only for women, cross-dressing women, and transvestites. But then again, with you it’s hard enough to tell when I can see let alone when I can’t so I guess you’ll have to forgive me for having trouble telling.” Ethan snarked as his chest finished healing.
“You-You-You!” Blueblood sputtered, and Ethan thought that he heard someone chuckle in the crowd.
“I know that it’s difficult, but you’ve gotta use your words little girl. Oh, and stop staring at my dick. It’s annoying and you’re way too young for me girlyman.” Ethan replied, this time he knew for a fact that someone had laughed. Blueblood had too apparently, because he took out his rage on Ethan with the knife again.
“You know, I’m hanging upside down by my feet with a blindfold on and I’ve got to tell you, the only thing that’s scaring me right now is that the fact the other ponies in the room are just letting this happen to me. From all that Twilight Sparkle had told me I’d think that this kind of thing was impossible; she went on and on about how nice and kind ponies were, about how everything could be solved by love and tolerance.” Ethan told them accusingly.
“Well I guess we know how wrong she was, right guys?” Ethan asked the crowd, he heard several uncomfortable coughs and the clearing of throats.
“I think it’s time for the ductape to go back on.” Blueblood said loudly and Ethan had just enough time to call him a coward before the tape closed his mouth. Behind the ductape Ethan was smirking, another few hours of tearing down this idiot and no one in the entire capital would respect him.