Everypony knows that alicorns are immortal, but immortality doesn't mean you never die.

Content Warnings: implied/light gore, mentions of physical trauma, dismemberment, technically self harm???

This was written for the Quills and Sofas Speedwriting Group's Black Sunday Contest. We're on Discord here if you'd like to join us!

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 34 )

Not really a new subject here, but still good.

Thanks. Doesn't have to be a new concept all the time for me to wanna write it, and I couldn't get the mental image of Twilight burning her own limb in order to heal it, while still being able to feel it out of my head. And besides, if everyone else gets to write edgy immortality feelings, I think I should get to write it too. As a treat.

I love this. I love this too much to put into words.

I wonder how far this works, If Twilight was severed in half or even torn to shreds would she simply reappear ?

Quite possibly, yeah! I wrote it with the assumption that if she died, she'd burn up magically and then reappear or regrow from the largest, uh, piece.

And of course there's also some of the other potential downsides to immortality...

Twilight will not outlive her friends. Pasta:

Rainbow Dash literally outflies Death until she's given the job, Fluttershy becomes the Draconequus of Nature, Applejack starts and continues to remember her serial reincarnation as a reference to G1 and G3 Applejacks, Rarity undergoes brain uploading into a fabulous Raribot, and Pinkie Pie is Pinkie Pie. (That last one has a headcanon explanation, but the point is that most explanations for Pinkie Pie's canon feats already imply immortality)

That was a good story.

Sort of like a phoenix?
These creatures sound just like what you described here, except that alicorns have fancier thoughts than animals.

Wikipedia-like cross-linking* **:
Personally I prefer the happier interpretation in "Of Alicorn Foals" (and its two sequels). I'd link, but I'm not QUITE sure that it is allowed given that it IS rated M, even if it is for gore.

*So, yes, I DID put a similar link in the other work.
**Someone might point out the "Similar" tab in the bar to the right. That is good, but a human can sometimes do better than an algorithm.

actualy being immortal 'does' mean you never die, that is the very definition, the prefic 'im' means 'to lack' so an 'im'mortal is one who lacks mortality, and if you lack mortality you cannot die,

now there are imperfect lesser versions of immortality, functional immortality is when you don't age and are imune to the malidies of the flesh, but your body can still be destroyed thus ending your life, edit (bad example this one was more belonging in the 'effective' immortality slot too as its very specific)
then there is effective immortlaity, this means you are 'technicly' immortal but your immortality is coming from something external to you and can be disrupted, this immortality also tends to be the kind where you have some nasty side effects (lichs are a good example of being effectivly immortal as unless you destroy there philactry they cannot die) and then lastly there is physical immortality, this is for all intents and purposes the same as true immortality but is ussualy the result of you having done something to your body, for example transfering your mind into a mechanical body grants physical immortality but since your original body is dead, its not 'true' immortality as you had to sacrifice your flesh to atain it

i like that one too, there is also a spoopy one where twilight 'acidently' turns herself into a lich by messing with starswirls spell only to find out thats actualy exactly what celestia and luna did...so it turns out that the alicorns are all horible undead abominations.

there is also this one, which is kinda like this story but less gory

I had real the one about Liches (actually two, but one has them biologically alive), and the new one about Celestia dying every few decades I read just now (it was reasonably good).

That is one harsh final line to end on, but it is a very good one.

Well done!

Hmm then why not just blow her head out? The regeneration would take place while unconscious…
And the philosophical point on creativity being meaningless if one is immortal is bull.

then there's the twilight gets a puppy series where the alicorns are *spoilers* actualy gods and can only be killed permenently if you destroy what they represent or if they willingly give up there status as deities *end spoiler*


And the philosophical point on creativity being meaningless if one is immortal is bull.

Agreed - anyone who has any real passion for creating anything worth a damn is probably not going to take unlimited time as an excuse to slack off.

In general, I don't buy into the "death gives life meaning" rhetoric. We give our own lives meaning.

Based on the desc, I momentarily thought I'd written this. :twilightoops:

Having a bad memory is the best because I honestly forgot I wrote a thing until just now and came back to find it featured. Wild. And someone added it to their clop folder...?

I'm flattered, thank you!

It is... a tiny bit rude to go into a story's comments and talk about all the other fics you liked better than this one. I'm not mad or anything, it's circled back around to "funny" for me. (See the whole "I genuinely forgot I posted this already" bit above, and you guys probably helped bump me into the feature box). Still. Other people may not be super thrilled about it.
... and to address a point,

actualy being immortal 'does' mean you never die, that is the very definition, the prefic 'im' means 'to lack' so an 'im'mortal is one who lacks mortality, and if you lack mortality you cannot die,

I'm aware of the definition of the word, and the literal definition was not what I meant by my fic summary.

That first bit... is a valid point. Unless the pieces of herself still hurt after being blown up. Idk. It's under 2000 words, there was only so much into it I could go. And agree to disagree on the creativity thing. It's a personal thought. Me, I think I'd start to hate it after a while.

Thank you very much, glad you enjoyed it!



I feel this deserves a sequel where curiosity gets the better of Twilights friends and they follow her down there one time.

What Twilight is going through sounds something more akin to how, in regards to religion, some people are nice only because they believe there to be retribution waiting for them if they aren't, and not simply for the sake of being nice. Except, instead of religion and retribution, it's the "due date" of death that inflates one's desires to fulfill one's desires through the life they still have left.

"Timeliness" seems like a major motivator and stressor to Twilight so when that is essentially taken away from her in the form of an insurmountable eternity, it's probably leaving her more than a little hollow. Pair that with her typical neurosis and anxiousness and, well, this seems pretty on-point for Twilight, if dark.

Honestly, hit her across the head with the right existential friendship lesson, give her a good cathartic cry, and she'll probably be right as rain. I've read other "Twilight processes her immortality" stories with the premises of her celebrating the fact that she's essentially being given the opportunity to document the stories of all her friends (and future ones) faithfully forever or her blasély killing herself repeatedly in numerous wacky ways with Discord, Spike, and Glim Glam to help in varying levels of exasperation and amusement, just because she wants to test the limits of alicorn immortality. Comedies and dark fics like this all just seem so on brand for the resident alicorn of absurdities and anxiety.

All in all though, still a nice, fun, fitting read!

Twilight, darling, go talk to Celestia.

Or a therapist.

Or both, both is good actually. On a purely objective level nobody wants a nihilistic immortal wandering around, that's how we get the nastier serial killers.


I'm flattered, thank you!

Aww, now I am as well. :twilightblush:

Of all the fics I have ever read, this was certainly one of them :duck: :twilightsheepish:

Immortality always has a price.... and long life is one of them.

I mean. There's plenty of creative deadlines more than just actual death. A scientist wants to make the discovery before someone else does it first, you don't go down in history for being the second person to come up with relativity. A fashion designer like Rarity has to make and release the dress before the fashion changes next season and it's out of style. If I were to go make a silent movie today people wouldn't be nearly as enamoured with it as they'd have been if I made the same movie in 1923. I'd be way more successful making a movie about superheroes in 2007 than I'd be making the same movie in 2022 now that everyone got sick of the MCU. Bach was a rockstar complete with screaming adoring fans and fainting women yelling "take me now!" in his time, nowadays he's a fuddy-duddie old fart that writes music for librarians and boring people. The game Adventure was the biggest flashiest, most action packed game of 1985, nowadays if you made it and put it up on itchio for free nobody would even want it. The original Tron went down in history as legendary because of it's cutting edge CGI 40 years ago, the second Tron with objectively way more advanced CG in 2012 was an utter disaster and a total flop.

There's this odd phenomenon that if you take pictures of 16 year olds in the year 1950 and show them to modern kids, asking "how old is this person?" they universally answer wayyyy too high. 30 years old, 40 even! Because even though they're definitely young, they're wearing old people clothes. With old people hairstyles. The old people of today carry themselves the same way they did when they were young, and their mannerisms and style is associated with their age.

Time marches on whether you've got the wrinkles to prove it or not, with or without you. Even if your body remains young, the world will move on and prove your age. It doesn't matter how long you have to wait, time will not wait for you. Things only stay the same for so long, and it's getting shorter every day.

If I had a lifespan of forever, I still wouldn't have nearly enough time.

So, does anesthetic not exist in this version of Equestria?
Tell that to every physician and surgeon in human history and see how they respond.

Fascinating vignette, but I'm honestly more horrified by Twilight's beliefs than the cremation-regeneration. Twilight definitely needs to discuss this with Celestia and Luna. Or possibly even Discord. She has some very nasty ideas in her head that may need other immortals' perspectives to fully extract. (Cadence could help—I'm sure she and Shining have come to terms with his inevitable passing—but centuries of experience in the matter carry a weight that's far harder to refute.)

In any case, thank you for this.


Celestia should introduce her to the concept of bonsai glaciers, or some other equally long-term hobby.

What story is this?

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