• Member Since 14th Jun, 2012
  • offline last seen 5 hours ago

Seer


I'll turn into something

T

This story is a sequel to Symbiosis


Just keep digging. As long as we break through soon, we'll live again. Just keep digging.


Second place entry in the Expanding Universes #2 Competition for the Quills and Sofas Speedwriting Group.
Our prompts were to do a sequel or prequel to a story submitted by another user, and I wrote this based on Silent Whisper's wonderful piece Symbiosis
Lovely cover art is also by Silent!

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 22 )

Fantastic stuff, Seer. There's a great tension in moods and tones between both of the stories happening here that creates such a bittersweet feeling.

This is absolutely phenomenal, Seer! I remember the first time you showed this to me. I was beyond flattered that you'd written me a sequel at all, but not only did you continue the story... you wrote a masterpiece.

You took my generically dark fic and made the concept into art. It's absolutely dripping with atmosphere and the back-and-forth switch between our protagonists across time and space is phenomenally done. This is a fic that I've loved going back to re-read, and I know other people will love it too!

Also, re: the coverart: it mirrors Symbiosis almost perfectly! If you find the hidden changeling ouroboros, you get a virtual cookie 🍪!

Alright, so... I'm a bit conflicted. Same as I've been with Symbiosis.

The story itself if well written, with 0 grammatical errors. Refreshing.

But the content... The ship wasn't designed by some supervillain, or as some cruel experiment. It was meant to help ponies survive, but any idiot with half a brain would understand that even if the ponies didn't die out due to lack of breeding - which was obviously going to happen, with the situation they were in - the ship itself was going to break apart without maintenance sooner or later. And with 100% of the population just walking in circles... it happened sooner.

You get an upvote, but really, the utterly brain-dead design of the ship and the "symbiotic" survival mechanism makes me cringe.

This is fantastically tragic

10947607
It's MLP, friend. They have wars with pies. Not everything that's blindingly obvious to the reader would be obvious to them.

Glad you enjoyed it enough to read it, though!

This is kind of random but you should definitely post your story in the official Gen 5 Website group. It is a group here on fimfiction that collect stories about Generation 5.

10947607
I get the feeling it was a lot like VaultTec's thoughts on the war in Fallout; that it wouldn't last more than a few years. The fact that the ship lasted for decades without maintenance, or rather that it lasted that long on automated maintenance, shows that the builders did consider the situation lasting for a long time but not forever, as the bunker sensors show.

It was probably intended for the ships to come back down once there was enough sunlight on the planet to sustain them. Unfortunately, that just never happened.

"Sol Invictus" either means "Unconquerable Sun or Invincible Sun"...... yikes,

10947582
Is he above the i in invictus?

10948558
The first one, yes! Here's a better resolution image with the colored background removed, in case you're curious about the lil ouroboros and other writing!

I kinda feel like like this and the original need horror tags. They are both creepy and tragic, and have me thinking about them even a day later, which I don't find comfortable at all.
There is no happy ending here; not even a neutral or bittersweet one. Not without some Deus ex machina.

10949373
Do i get a cookie?

Man, poor Sunny. There hopes for the future is nothing but a hell awaiting them.
Great work

10949809
Absolutely! Well-spotted!

10949566
I'd argue that the line between Horror and Dark is rather thin in a lot of fics, and while both of these fics are dark as heck, they aren't traditional horror, so it's pretty open to interpretation. Horror isn't defined as "a fic without a happy ending" (that's tragedy, as you noted) or "creepy and unsettling" (I'd argue that the Dark tag covers this adequately.)

I'm glad both fics made you think, though I'm sorry that's made you uncomfortable. You've definitely given me something to think about, if nothing else. Thanks for giving them a read, despite them not being your cup of tea!

10949881
I usually like stories that make me think, but if the thoughts are that the world is unpleasant and that every implication is unpleasant, then the thoughts themselves become unpleasant.
The story is what it is and I'm not requesting any change, but I would have preferred an ending that had the potential for a happy future.

An incredible story, Seer. I liked the shift between hope and hopelessness in the two stories, how one ended and one begins. You handled the contrast well. Nice job.

I wonder, if Rarity’s point of view a nightmare or reality, and Sunny’s side of the story happen before, during or after what happened on the station? We need more story, we need answers.

Arx Fatalis with The City Must Survive booming from the loudspeakers.

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