Rainbow Dash turns into a ferret. Everypony is somewhat happy about this. Since Rainbow Dash is no longer a pony, her feelings of distress and terror don't count against that.

This is not a comedy.

Written for the Quills and Sofas Genre-Swap Panic. We were given a prompt and a genre that we couldn't write. In my case, that was "The spell wasn't supposed to turn Rainbow Dash into a ferret, I swear!", and my forbidden genre was comedy. Rainbow Dash Ferret Horror, folks! It's a thing now. This one won third place, too! My prize was... getting told I need therapy in the comments, which is, you know, fair. I'm a writer. My brain works in weird directions.

Preread by Jay, nagolucky, Mushroom, applezombi, Scoping Landscape, Emotion Nexus, RedParade, and Sunlight.

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 35 )

See, this is why you aren't allowed to do drugs before you write.

Short n' sweet, with a nice gut dropkick at the end. I'm not sure if I'd use the "Death" tag, since I didn't see any hint of it. Otherwise, very cool!

Fair enough! I can remove the tag. Wasn't sure, wanted to be safe. I appreciate the feedback, and your comment!
(And I'm not on drugs... just my ADHD meds... and very little sleep!)

I think this part might've been what initially warranted the Death tag:

Twilight lifted the playpen from the ground in her field. A thin blue wisp flew from the ferret and into a cloth-draped box at the edge of the room. It rattled. The still corpse of the ferret was levitated aside, next to a box half-filled with rainbow-colored pelts.

This type of story isn't my cup of tea, I'm afraid, but I could definitely appreciate the, for lack of a better word, "artistry" behind it. All in all, kudos!

I get the feeling that this is one of those things where, the moment I add it back, someone will say it's better if it's gone. I love tags, but the back-and-forth between choosing them often feels more difficult than writing the actual fic!

And thanks for giving it a read, even if it isn't quite your thing. I appreciate you and your comment regardless!

im not even kidding, sometimes i think about this fic late at night and I feel deeply disturbed

Before I read this, I must know: Why would Rainbow's friends be happy if she got transformed against her will into a ferret?

Just imagine how I must feel as the author!
... the most I think about it is "did I ever write that one fic where somepony asks Twilight why the frick she turned Rainbow Dash into a ferret?" and then I find it and I go "ohhh yeah... it's a horror fic... nice."

Probably because they don't know that it's against her will! Or that she's a ferret at all!

One morning, as Rainbow Dash was waking up from awesome Wonderbolt dreams, she discovered that in bed she had been changed into a monstrous vermin cute little ferret...

Never mind community service around Ponyville, what about Cloudsdale ?
♫♪ Oompa! Loompa! Doo-pa-dee doo!
I've got a perfect puzzle for you.

Oompa! Loompa! Doo-oa-dee dee!
If you are wise, you'll listen to me.

What do you do when you don't want to wait?
All of those months while your pet hibernates?
What if you brought winter down to a halt?
Changing weather from what it ought!

Blowing up the factory!

Oompa! Loompa! Doo-pa-dee dah!
If you know the Princesses, you will go far!
You'll get pardoned by Royal Decree
Like the Oompa Loompa doo-pa-dee dee! ♫♪

Are you ready to learn with me?

Ummm... Has anyone seen Spike recently? Is there now a fancy set of patent aligator dragon leather saddle and tack formal-wear up for auction to defray the costs of Secret of my Excess?

I have no trash, and I must eat.

Hm Twilight reasoning is QUITE off.
Yes… Rainbow Dash may have caused damage by being reckless in saving the town. But is that damage more or less than letting the disaster of the week do its thing?

Ouch, that's a really good story that earns the Horror tag well.

Efficiently, too :)


Grumpy Cat is pleased.... or angry? I-I'm not sure...

Twilight becomes Worst Pony... again.

Chrysalis, you had ONE JOB! I paid you WELL... AND YOU FAILED ME!! TWICE!! Even after I gave you the anti-magic stone! YOU BUILT A STUPID THRONE WITH IT!

Now, as promised, I shall exterminate your species. Perhaps my NEXT slaves will learn from your example! :flutterrage:

This did horror very well... I kinda want to see a resolution to all of this.

You know, this was short, creepy, and fun. Not especially terrifying or horrific (though the idea behind it is a bit more so), but with how few words you worked with, it turned out to be a very nice short story. :twilightsmile:

How ironic. A thing wearing Twilight's skin, all the while taking the warped skins of her friends to endlessly pay endless "debts".

What would a resolution even look like?
An ouroboros situation where twilight converts all of the mane 6 and then somehow herself to pay for her debts?
We discover if twilight is under the influence of something or of she is just twilighting?
Celestia, luna and the remaining mane 6 notice what has happened and put a stop to it?

Well that's kind of horrifying.

I reread the last paragraph again and again, and got goosebumps everytime

That's what I love to hear, thank you!

The purpose of the warning tags is to warn people, so that people can enjoy stories instead of being blindsided by something they're not up for seeing without first getting a head's up. Sometimes the warning is just about personal preference, sometimes it's rather more serious. Someone who just had someone they care about die, for example, might not be up for being surprised by death, this even if they are ok with reading other dark things.

If you kill a major character, it should be tagged Death. If you kill a major character repeatedly so that you can harvest their body parts it should definitely be tagged Death.

It should arguably be marked as Dark too, but since that's a genre tag instead of a warning tag, there's rather more latitude for personal interpretation there.

(For whatever it's worth, the story is well written and very disturbing.)

Yeah, I'd imagine Twi got possessed or something. She's crazy, but not that crazy.

Good point, well-put. Added the tag back.

Well… that happened. Pretty creepy for something so short, nice work

silent, would you happen to play MTG? I might have a friend i'd want to introduce to you, because i'm guessing the word pale meant colorless in context, and this sounds like either someone speaking to the room, or well... on second thought "pale fire" could also be a reference to electricity. so is this Robotwi, 'Drazitwi, or am i really fucking smarter than i think i am?

:moustache: Today Twilight became Astra Zeneca clinical trials Inc.
:trollestia: We're all going to die
:pinkiecrazy: I'm so F'ing happy

Wonderfully horrifying in an almost Eldritch manner dear. Quite enjoyable and Raritys internal monolog was very entertaining to read and I think probably the best POV of the mane 6 to see this story from.

I've played MTG in the past, yes, but it's been years. Last time I was into it... I think was when the Kaladesh pre-release came out? That was fun. Got a little flimsy vehicle to assemble. 10/10, would assemble a collection of expensive cards again!

Blinks a few times. ...uh okay ...

i love those, the game store i used to go to at the mall a couple clicks south of me had a bunch of those things hanging up, i always wanted a few for my room, but well, by now they're collectables, i just think it'd be cool to have a game store with an entire kaladeshi air battle going on above the patron's heads captured in still life

Hi! I'm commenting on multiple of your stories now, I guess, because HOLY SHIT are you a great writer. You are a wizard at the horror/dark genre and I think you absolutely took the right direction with this prompt. I'd never even HEARD or THOUGHT of something similar before, incredibly unique and well written. I like the ending, I love Twilight doing it for science, and I love the idea that it wasn't even from Rainbow's perspective like I thought it'd be. 10/10!!! Keep going!! :pinkiehappy:

Okay but your comments are giving me life thank you SO MUCH

I learned something today; I don't enjoy pony horror. No offense to the author- it was very well written- but it's not my thing. Oh well, live and learn, I guess.

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