• Member Since 18th Oct, 2014
  • offline last seen Last Friday

Trick Question

Being against evil doesn't make you good.


It's Princess Day! A happy day when little five year-old fillies and colts get to meet the Princess of Friendship and find out if they'll get their cutie mark extra-early.

Daylily can't wait to find out what happens to him.

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 82 )

Oh that is creepy. If she only went a week at a time....the poor colt doesn’t know the truth. Bravo for blindsiding me on where the horror element comes in and why.

So...is it the end of the world in two weeks and she found out there's nothing after death or something?

But, isn't Daylily a girl's name?

The colt is dying, Twilight accidentally tried to observe him while he was dead.

Ah, yeah, that makes more sense in context. Guess the whole prophecy thing was just a red herring that kept me thinking it was something more earth shattering.

Well done! Very foreboding. I'm left wondering what Twilight's rationale is behind what she is doing—aside from what's written—but otherwise I was pretty shaken. Both elements in this story give it kind of a distinct dystopian feeling.

Excellent story, leaving all the horror to the reader's imagination. Have a Fav!

The thing Twilight's looking for isn't related to the outcome of her scan of Daylily—he wasn't who she was looking for. He just happened to be close to death when she scanned his memories.

poor twilight.. seeing him get his mark when he dies...

That was as frightening as any Rod Serling Twilight Zone episode.

Sometimes we can learn too much!

"Hopefully it will happen long after your time, old friend," says the Princess

It kinda sound like "good thing you'll die soon".

"I can't cast this spell ever again. I can't risk a repeat experience."

Can she erase part of her memory or trick another unicorn into casting the spell instead of herself?

"It's worse than Tartarus. It's worse than the mind can imagine. It's impossibly horrible. You can't die, Rarity. Nopony can die."

It may be a good time to start fixing this.

My birthday's in just two weeks!

So, if Twilight was going to take 1 week steps and then binary search, then his birthday most likely was almost exactly 3 weeks after Princess Day. And she's found out after first iteration. Is it happening today? :pinkiesad2:

Arzoo #12 · Jun 9th, 2018 · · 9 ·

It's not like the dead are sentient to experience it the way Twilight was, so no trauma for them. Twilight's just being a wimp :P

If it was simple cessation, then the vision would probably just end or she would continue seeing a corpse. I believe the implication is that the emptiness is a real place where ponies go and what they experience after they die.

Arzoo #14 · Jun 9th, 2018 · · 9 ·

That's practically nonsensical. They have no brain but are still conscious? You might as well agonize over the consciousness of rocks. I think Twilight was traumatized because she IS sentient; the non-sentient corpse doesn't feel anything. She states that she's not describing any place or anything, but just non-existence.

I agree it was probably nothingness after death. Why would that be a surprise? That's just how it (probably) goes.

An interesting story, but I sorta feel it wasn't really long enough to get the full effect

so THAT'S what it was implying!
THAT'S what it was implying...
oh my...

yea, remember- twilight said she was going 1 week at a time. then reread her description of what she experienced. the colt lived another 2 weeks at most

oh......... okay then........ that happened.

Holy hell that was a blindside. That was great, keep it up!

Oh shit... that ending is actually quite dark. Now, what did I do with that flashlight? :unsuresweetie:

I've always been a fan of horror told through the eyes of children because there's always an element of innocence to it that makes the horror elements all the more striking. This story is a wonderful example of that and overall an excellent read. Probably one of the best horror oneshots I've ever read on this site.

Very good story! :pinkiehappy:
The feels are there, and I was caught of guard by the ending.
Well done!

Also, since Twilight said she was never going to cast the spell again, isn't it possible that the prophecy is going to come true, and NO OTHER PONY has a future beyond two weeks? :raritywink:

My favourite thing is to not look at tags. If it is M rated I just check for things in the description for fetishes and check red tags to make sure it isn't some edgy shit.

This really blindsided me, but I can easily look back on the story and see the clues leading up to it. You did a great job!

and then twilight began her crusade against death

Oh, Twilight, you just didn't go far enough to find this cozy place.
Fear not, the dark, my friend.
And let the feast begin.

I read the tag on stories and this still tripped me up, but probably just because I'm super tired. This was really good short story :D

I don’t want to put words in Trick’s mouth, but I reckon that the name comes from lilies’ common association with funerals and death.

I know part of the magic of the story is leaving the mystery for the reader to ponder but damn it I wanna know just how deep this horror goes... I mean the story image is what looks like the event horizon of a black hole. I gotta know! :pinkiecrazy:

Then who was she looking for?

"And that's why Grand Empress Twilight Sparkle researched Dark Magic heavily and granted all who live the gift of Eternal Life."

Agreed. Leaving a little mystery can be okay, but there's got to be more to it than unresolved / unexplained plot hooks.

It's a great scrap, though.

Twilight used a spell to see into the colt's future through his eyes in one-week intervals, going up to his birthday. His birthday was in two weeks. The "threshold" she crossed was the time of his death, meaning that he's going to die sometime in the next two weeks. What she saw seems to have led her to believe that you simply cease to exist after death.

Maybe she saw the dead are aware after death. Imagine being aware and stuck in your dead body, either in agony if you are cremated or decomposing in a coffin in the dark forever.

Okay....This story allows me to gauge something. Is everyone here an atheist? I mean, this whole thing of non-existence after death and people just accepting it around here with no objections is starting to look scary for different reasons...

Firstly, I got the opposite impression from this fic.
“You can’t die, Rarity. Nopony can die.” Makes it sound like she saw that ponies were still conscious after death, like an eternal purgatory rather than unexistence.

Secondly, being an aetheist does not mean you don’t believe in an afterlife. It just means you don’t believe in conscious higher powers.

Well this was a horribly dark take on the afterlife. But it gives me a story idea, so thanks!

Your response is one nil towards my belief that a lot of people on here are atheists. Not to mention I'd bet other disturbing aspects as well, like believing that communism is an actual solution to economic problems in the US...

Real shit, a black hole is a cosmic construct that defies nature as we know it. Everything breaks down, and these things are such paragons of unspeakable horror that you DO NOT want to DIE even NEAR one. Black holes are the type of thing where your whole body becomes a new universe and 500 planet earths simultaneously. Its where you live 12 lives all in sequence at once, all while feeling hellfire pain in each lifetime. Black holes are without form or substance. To even die near one ensures even horror in death. DO NOT joke around about these things.

Hmmm... not as much as I was hoping. That's kind of my outlook for death in real life anyway.

Good thing there's nothing wrong with being an athiest then. And literally no one here is suggesting communism as a fix to anything. Literally no one. Why did you even bring it up in the first place?

Good story, but a little too short for me to get into.

You're basing this observation off a story with 42-ish comments, and a fan base that is general more accepting of others than any other fanbase?

I'm religious and believe in an afterlife. However, that doesn't mean I can't read and enjoy another's point of view. For example, reincarnation would be cool. If there is nothing after death, then cool. Not going to give myself a hernia over worrying about it or arguing about it though.

I'm curious, would you be expecting religious people or those who believe in an afterlife downvote this thing or crusade through the comments ranting against the author's belief? This isn't deviantart...

I assume you believe differently about black holes?

Black holes are objects with very high density, so much so that not even light can escape. If you wanted a black hole the mass of Earth, it would have to be the size of a golf ball. Anyways, they don't defy nature. We just don't know what is past the event horizon. Also, they have a form. It's called a sphere. :rainbowlaugh:
We cannot tell what the substance would be, due to, I don't know, the fact that not even light can escape the black hole?
Also, why do you assume we ALL are atheists? I don't believe in or follow a religion, but that doesn't mean I don't think there is an afterlife. There HAS to be something after death. What it is is that Twilight was basically looking through death. She was seeing through a dead filly's eyes.

Anyways, please stop these rage-hate comments. They are ruining your reputation.
(if you have/had one that I didn't know about)

Wait wait wait. Dear author, can you explain something to me? Is this the first time she has ever come across a child that died during the search period? Is this a case of “unreliable narrator“ since the kid is only five years old and the story is told from his point of you? Because Twilight, while understandably shaken, should not be surprised at this outcome.

Also, if this is a “everybody dies“ prophecy, she definitely should’ve been on the lookout for something like this to happen.

Yes to the first question. The odds of finding a foal who gets their cutie mark so early combined with the odds they die right after getting their mark are very low.

Ok, as funny as this post is, you can stop making random shit up about black holes. We actually know a decent bit about them. What we don't know for certain, we can speculate to a (most likely) reasonable degree of accuracy about, and every single thing you said about them is complete nonsense. We have science for a reason.

Aside from that, this fic has nothing at all to do with black holes, so I'm fuzzy on why you even brought them up.

Cripes! Well done both in concept and execution!

Login or register to comment