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Comments ( 24 )

pretty scary read.

Also first comment!

Insanity is at its worst when it hides itself inside good intentions.


Yeesh. Poor Fluttershy.

Good stuff. I liked the diary entry structure of the piece; I think it serves the plot well and comes off better than simple dialogue-action would, as far as the events and tone of the story.

You're very good at writing Fluttershy.

So... did Twilight decide to test her theories using real ponies? Or was it the 3/3 Green Creature with Deathtouch?

first of all,

Second of all... *grins* What do you think happened? I'd love to hear your theory on what happened~

I'm honestly kind of thinking it was a combination of both. Twilight used the fact that such a creature was killing ponies to keep suspicion off of herself when she did her "experiments". I'm also wondering if the creature was responsible for what happened to Rainbow Dash, which would honestly make this even more depressing than it already is.

that's an interesting theory! My version of what happened is... even more grim though.

There was no creature. It was a pony-made construct, and the terrifying features it had were created just to be terrifying.j It isn't alive. Bulk Biceps didn't see the creature clearly, but it "stung" a beaver (with a needle... it shoots needles... which was just a poison dart. The construct wasn't built to kill a pony, just to scare a whole town into getting away from it as fast as possible once they saw/heard it.)

The entire thing is built to scare ponies into flying faster. But, why would she do that?

"On another note, I went to visit Twilight again. In the basement, she set up Rainbow’s dummy, and she’s got these weird machines that she’s building too. Some things, she said, to test how fast impacts occur. It’s really fun to watch! She took this pillow and threw it at the machine. It stuck on this spear bit, and then the machine read out the speed!"

"Faster," whispered Twilight as she cleaned up the mess. "They need to be faster."

I have to ask, then, what killed Rainbow Dash ?

Oh, Rainbow Dash? I suppose you'll have to figure that one out on your own. The hints are there.

Suicide? Accidental Sonic Rainboom into a cliffside? At least tell me if one of those is close.

The second one is a lot closer. :)

Is Twilight in some way responsible for Rainbow's death?

Nope! Guilt and grief can do strange things to ponies, however, and not all coping methods are healthy.

Im going to guess that rainbow dash was attempting a sonic rainboom but when she was at her max speed for it, she hit a cliff. and twilight falls into this because she calculated wrong and is trying to find the right calculation.

Well, that took a very dark and tense turn, I like that :pinkiehappy: And, I can actually see Twi being able to do that, for the sake of science and a twisted search for the truth. The only thing that didn’t add up was the mysterious monster part, which only the comment section managed to clarify.

Whew, that got intense and dark at the end. I liked the journal entries approach, and the "She didn't make it." was perfect.

Really creepy read mate, the journal format can be hard to pull off but you definitely do so really well here.
Great work! :twilightsmile:

The only bit of all this I can’t figure out is the last entry. It really seems like like “she” is Twilight, but then it goes onto to say

If you’re reading this, talk to Twilight.

At first I thought she stole the diary and is possibly using it to lure more Pegasi who find it to her, but the last line trails off like someone has been interrupted writing it out. I truly don’t know. Well done.

According to how I originally wrote it (you are more than welcome to interpret it how you wish), the "she" is, in fact, Twilight. Fluttershy hopes that Twilight will be done with her "research" into whether or not pegasi can be made to fly that fast, and if it was truly an accident. So she hopes that whoever reads the diary will be able to have a calm discussion with Twilight regarding what happened, and hopefully reason with her to prevent it from happening again. Whether or not that's possible, or if Twilight is even done with the experiment... that's up to you to imagine. Fluttershy isn't a reliable narrator, so to speak, and she's probably giving Twilight more of the benefit of the doubt than she deserves.

edit- also, thank you for the comment, it meant so much to me to see that someone's reading some of the fics I loved writing the most, thank you. You made my day! ♥

Ah that clears things up a lot, thanks for the clarification. And I also wanna say I love how this fic is written, the journal entry style makes it really unsettling noticing subtle hints and clues as to what’s really going on

Thank you! I'm flattered by your kind words. I really appreciate you reading and commenting! :twilightsmile:

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