- Member Since 17th Jun, 2017
- offline last seen 30 minutes ago
The Red Parade
Cars are still parked outside. If the rapture had happened, why was it unrecognizable? Why was the sky blue? Why did no one tell me? Do these things not announce themselves?
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This was sad and really well done. Great job showing why they'd love each other, yet also grow apart. The ending was inevitable from the text, but it still hit hard.
ah, it feels really silly to line-by-line comment on what is basically supposed to be a poem! so i'll just say that i really liked the structure, with the last lines of the first two sections echoing, and Sunburst's
coming back up again in his interest in astronomy. the format really worked to make the dialogue's voices and flow come alive. it would have been perfect, except
occurring so close to each other without self-awareness by either character, i admit. took me out a bit. but the rest of the conversation was great, really liking
Sky Stinger silently reading Sunburst's letters was a beautiful mental image, as was the bird flying away from Sunburst. getting to see each other's recollections of the relationship's beginning, just as they let that relationship go in their minds, was also a very nice touch.
this was a great portrayal a relationship dissolving not because of emotional distance, but because of physical distance. a mundane tragedy. all that established and executed in less than 2kw, with a ship so rare i never would have thought of it, is impressive. thank you for it!
Howdy, hi!
This was a really interesting pairing of Sky Stinger and Sunburst. The idea to write the romance at the end of it was novel and executed in such an interesting poetic structure. The separation of both stallions across the divide really hammered in the distance between them and the feeling of loneliness they suffered from despite being together. The fic draws you in with their easy chemistry, then slowly tears you apart with the unraveling of their relationship because of their incapatible lives. The story leaves you wanting them to make it work, but knowing it won't be. A great short read and truly heartbreaking.
Thank you for the read~!