transequestrianism

by The Red Parade

First published

With every step they took towards the other, Sunburst and Sky Stinger drew farther and farther apart.

With every breath and heartbeat, two lovers drew further apart. With every second they spent together, two lovers drifted away like icebergs at sea.


Written for the mxm shipping contest.

The Atlantic Was Born Today

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Sky Stinger watched as the world drifted around him.

The crowd was a river and he was a rock: they would rush towards him and split, with two streams rushing side by side around him.

Hundreds of ponies with somewhere to go.

Hundreds of ponies with someone to be.

Sky Stinger did not have anywhere to go, and he did not have anyone to be.

So he stood, in the busy street, and watched as Fleetfoot and Vapor Trail fawned over a beautiful dress in a foggy storefront window.

He watched as groups of ponies laughed and talked amongst each other.

Each with their own plans.

Each with their own ambitions.

Each as close as one could hope to be.

And Sky Stinger looked up at the sky and felt alone.

He thought of what awaited him, and of the carefully constructed itinerary that Fast Clip had put together.

One that told him he would need to leave soon, and that this beautiful postcard town would soon be left behind.

He wished Sunburst were here.

But he was not.

In his place was a town and an ocean that separated them.

An ocean that would only grow larger and larger with every passing day.

Sky Stinger stood, like a rock that split a river, and felt alone.


Sunburst watched as the world drifted around him.

Couples moved around the ballroom floor in a strange, mesmerizing dance that meant absolutely nothing to him.

They shifted in time with the music, their heads bobbing and their hooves light as they scuffed across the ground.

He watched them all indifferently, like the sun observed the movements of the earth below, and felt something cold bite into his heart.

He looked across the ballroom floor, where pairs of ponies moved about like waves breaking against the shore.

He looked beyond them, where snow fell outside the window and blanketed the world in a thick, warm blanket.

Sunburst raised his glass to his mouth and sipped the bubbly liquid, feeling it slide down his throat and into his stomach.

The orchestra kicked into motion, performing the opening lines to a jovial waltz.

Sunburst wished they would stop.

He wished they, along with the shapeless forms on the ballroom floor, would leave.

Then, the castle would be empty, and he could be lonely.

Sunburst figured that being lonely in an empty room was better than being lonely in a room full of ponies.

He thought of Sky Stinger, and tried to remember where he was now.

It had been exactly twenty nine days since he had last seen him.

Sunburst looked on like the sun did the earth, and felt alone.


“So…”

The sun was setting over the houses, its fading rays peeking out over the uniform rooftops.

Sunburst sighed, pushing his glasses up higher on his face.

“Oh, Sky, let’s… let’s not talk about it right now.”

Sky Stinger nodded, stirring his cup idly.

“Okay, I guess.”

They fell silent for a minute more.

Sunburst leaned back, watching as a flock of birds flew overhead.

“Well, what’re you going to be up to? Besides thinking of me.”

Sunburst rolled his eyes.

“I have a life you know. A life that goes beyond you.”

Sky grinned maniacally.

“As if! Come on, Bursty, you know I’m your world.”

“Oh trust me, you are most certainly not.”

Sky batted his eyes, leaning in.

“Yeah? Fine. What’re you going to get up to while I’m gone?”

Sunburst perked up at the question.

“Ah! Well, I was going to be attending an astronomy convention!”

“Astronomy?”

“Yes, I’ve recently found the field fascinating.

The stars are quite pretty, and they can be seen from almost everywhere.”

“The stars that are… in the Sky?”

Sunburst blinked before the realization hit him.

“Sky Stinger! The world does not revolve around you!”

Sky laughed.

“Yeah? Well my world does, Bursty. But the good news is
that you are my world.”

Sunburst sputtered as a furious blush took his cheeks.

“Must you always insist on flustering me?”

Sky thought for a second.

“Yeah!”

He laughed before the two fell silent again.

“You know… we never did go stargazing.”

Sky Stinger sighed, ruffling his feathers.

“I… yeah. We didn’t. Just… ran out of time again.”

“We always do, don’t we?”

The sun dipped a little further in the sky as another flock of birds passed them by.

“I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay, it wasn’t your fault. Just…

How long will you be gone again?”

“Three months. But then I’ll be back and--”

“And then I’ll be in Griffonstone for two months.”

Sky frowned, tapping the edge of the table.

“Well, we’ll still have the two weeks together before I have to go back.”

“Two weeks. Waiting five months for two weeks.”

Sunburst sighed, slouching a bit.

Sky reached over and took Sunburst’s hoof in his own.

“We’ll make it work. I know we can.”

But even as he spoke the two drifted a little further away from the other.


Sky Stinger rubbed his eyes, staring up at the ceiling of his compartment.

The engines of the airship rumbled far beneath him, the entire contraption bumbling through the sky like an oversized bee.

Sky sat up, looking out the window.

The sky bled a vibrant orange, with strips of white clouds breaking up the air between.

Like the stripe and socks that decorated his stallion.

Sky flipped onto his back, the scene outside too painful to watch any longer.

He tried not to think about how far the Crystal Empire was.

He tried not to think about how with every passing second he drew farther and farther away from Sunburst.

He tried not to think of the long, lonely months ahead.

With a groan, he hoisted himself up and trotted to his desk. As he dug through his saddlebags his thoughts drifted from the future to the past.

He remembered that function in the Crystal Empire where they had met. Sunburst had caught his eye by shying away from the crowd, and with a few drinks muddling his mind Sky had taken his chance.

And Sunburst and taken him in return.

A ghost of a smile graced Sky’s lips as he thought of all the nights where he gushed over his lover to Vapor Trail, who took in all the information and fantasies eagerly while offering vibrant suggestions of her own on possible dates and ways they could draw closer.

But in a way, it had all been in vain, for now they were as far apart as they ever were.

From his bag, Sky removed a set of letters from Sunburst, written and signed in an elegant, beautiful cursive. He let the warmth of the words wash over him, hanging on to every single word on the page as he read them silently.

But it wasn’t enough to thaw the pain that had seized his heart.

It was not enough to span the distance.

And Sky Stinger drifted away.


Sunburst scanned the bookshelves listlessly, the titles and authors blurring into illegible lines and forms.

He sighed, wiping his glasses on his cloak in an idle motion.

His study was empty and dusty. He had been meaning to clean it before Starlight arrived, but he simply hadn’t had the energy to do so.

He didn’t have the energy to do much of anything nowadays.

Sunburst kicked his chair leg in frustration.

Lately his focus had abandoned him completely, and progress on research and writing was painstakingly slow.

His thoughts had been occupied by a different feeling in Sky Stinger’s absence.

A feeling of loneliness.

His bed felt far too big with only one pony sleeping in it.

His body felt cold without another pressed against it to keep it warm.

And the castle felt too grim and quiet without his incessant talking.

Sunburst thought of when they had first met, back when a drunken but handsome stallion in a uniform approached him and began rambling on and on about himself.

Sunburst had thought he was intolerable, yet… something about it was endearing.

Sky Stinger might have been the first to take it upon himself to impress him.

Even if that meant being impressively stupid and silly.

Sunburst chuckled at that.

He stared out his window, as a flock of dark blue birds passed it by.

Sunburst watched with mild interest as one perched itself on his windowsill.

He wondered where Sky was now, and the thought stabbed him in the heart.

Against his better judgement he opened the window, beckoning for the bird to come closer.

Instead, it flew away, startled.

As Sunburst watched the bird fly away, he felt like crying.

And Sunburst drifted away.


“I don’t know how to tell you this, but…”

“You know I love you, but…”

The port was crowded.

The sun beat down over it harshly and indifferently.

The rushing crowd surged around them, ebbing and flowing in a fluid motion.

And Sunburst and Sky Stinger drew closer to each other.

Thoughts nipped at the back of their minds, fragments and pieces that almost made sense.

“I don’t want to do this.”

“I just want what’s best for you.”

They saw the other from across the way, and with each step their bodies almost screamed in anticipation.

Of holding the other.

Of kissing their lips and cheeks.

Of burying their head into the other’s chest.

But the thoughts raised up like a storm, roaring in their heads.

“I’m sorry.”

“I’m sorry.”

When they stood in front of the other, worn and tired, they looked into the eyes of the other.

Sea green met dark blue.

Two lovers, their bodies together at last, but their minds as far away as they had ever been.

They drew a deep breath together, in an almost practiced motion.

And the words poured out in tandem, like water.

“I can’t do this anymore.”