Rarity was never much a fan of ferrets.
Rarity frowned. It was a pretty sort of frown. It was the kind that would be featured on a magazine next to the latest news about a scandal and other truly horrible gossip that everypony would leap at the chance to read. It didn’t feel quite appropriate for the situation, but Rarity wasn’t sure she was capable of not being beautiful.
“Darling, you know I respect your choices,” she began carefully, taking a seat in front of the playpen in the middle of the castle’s throne room. “You always act in what you believe is everypony’s best interests.”
“I do,” agreed Twilight, fixing a wire-mesh net over the top of the foal-proof pen. “You know me so well.”
“Well,” Rarity continued, her petite and delicate frown deepening like a wilting flower. “In this particular case, I’m afraid I don’t quite understand how you reached this decision.”
Twilight was silent. Her wings rustled against her back, much in the way that a nervous bird might, but her face betrayed no emotion. Only calm and contemplative curiosity.
“I feel I must be honest with my feelings, darling, and I do hope you don’t mind.” It was time to cut to the chase, to get straight to the point, to address the not-quite-an-elephant in the room. “Why is Rainbow Dash a ferret?”
Her dearest friend, chief among alicorns and bookworms alike, shrugged dispassionately. “We’re learning a lesson.”
This was, to be precise, not the answer Rarity expected to hear. “Pardon?”
“Well, lessons, as in plural. Different ones.” Twilight nodded at the multicolored writhing noodle of a creature that looked very much as though it were screeching at the top of its tiny lungs. “I’m learning about the effects of stress on smaller mammals.”
Rarity blinked. Flabbergasted wasn’t the sort of look that was in, but she wore it wonderfully all the same. “And… the other lesson?”
“Rainbow Dash,” Twilight chirped as she pulled out a clipboard. “Is learning about property damage.”
“Property damage?”
The ferret banged soundlessly against the plastic pen. Its tiny paws slammed against a glimmering magical barrier. Twilight bent down to peer into its teensy magenta eyes. “Yes. Do you know how much property damage she’s caused over the years? I’ve gotten the chance to look over the town’s budget, and about half our taxes go to repairs directly caused by her stunts.”
Rarity blustered beautifully. “You cannot be serious. Why, much of the damage is caused by all of us combined, whenever monsters attack!”
“But it’s not,” Twilight flipped a page on her clipboard, not even bothering to look up at Rarity’s astounded expression. “Rainbow Dash takes the most risks out of all of us, and her attacks and maneuvers are higher speed than the rest of ours combined. Even after we became the Elements of Harmony, she’s wrecked the most buildings, and nopony’s stupid enough to offer insurance for Rainbow-Dash-related-damages.”
The tiny ferret slumped over suddenly. Rarity gasped and pressed against the barrier, hoping that little rib cage was still rising and falling… “Even if that were the case, I’d say she’s had enough! Torture has never been the consequence for property damages. Not in Ponyville at least! Why, the only real punishment we’ve used aside from fines is-”
“Community service!” declared Twilight, unwrapping the mesh from the top. “She’s serving her community, don’t worry. Mayor Mare said that I could help decide Rainbow’s latest sentence. Did you know that she’s done more community service hours in the last year than all the foals in Cheerilee’s class combined? She just keeps doing the time and then making a mess again!”
Rarity pushed against the playpen, but it just wasn’t moving, and a thin, wispy barrier kept her from getting in through the top. “This isn’t community service! Is she even alive in there? Darling, what is going on with you? This isn’t like you!”
“Like me? Rarity, she’s contributing to science, more than she ever was, and she’ll never destroy property again! She’s learning her lesson for good this time! We’ll be saving so much money on the budget from now, it’ll be...” A distant, dreamy look plastered itself on Twilight’s face. It looked almost forced, Rarity noted with disgust, as though somepony had moulded it out of clay that had previously been in the shape of her friend. “It’ll be e f f i c i e n t, Rarity.”
“Efficient, is that it?” Rarity sputtered with style, taking a few steps back. The ferret in the playpen didn’t move. It hadn’t moved. Something was wrong with Rainbow Dash, and more importantly, something was wrong with Twilight.
“Yup.” Twilight stared at her clipboard vacantly, giving Rarity the chance to study her friend more closely. Something must’ve been in control of her, she reasoned. This simply wasn’t Twilight anymore, and that meant genuine logic went out the gorgeous stained-glass window.
“I don’t think,” Rarity said slowly, trying to sound as casual as she could, even though casual wasn’t really in style at the moment and adrenaline sent cold jolts through her veins. “That this is the most efficient way to teach Rainbow Dash a lesson, darling. I think, perhaps, that we ought to sit down and discuss this.”
“Discuss?” The clipboard fell to the floor. It was scrawled upon, in hoofwriting that Rarity knew wasn’t the careful shapes of her friend’s, repeating the same word over and over, ignoring lines and checkboxes and criteria. “Sure, we can discuss things.”
“Firstly,” said Rarity, feeling the sudden need to take another step back towards the door. “Would you happen to know when the last time you read a strange book was? I know you get a lot of odd ones sent to you in the mail, but I don’t know… if…” She bit her lip.
Twilight smiled. It was an ugly sort of smile. “Out of curiousity,” she said, the pale glow of her horn atop her bangs casting a dark shadow over her eyes. “What is your general opinion on racoons?”
Rarity was so distracted, she nearly missed the telltale click of the door locking behind her. “I beg your pardon?”
“Racoons,” said Twilight, clarifying nothing. “Their fur is more valuable than a ferret’s. Much softer, and with enough racoon hides, you might be able to start repaying back what you owe to the town.”
Twilight lifted the playpen from the ground in her field. A thin blue wisp flew from the ferret and into a cloth-draped box at the edge of the room. It rattled. The still corpse of the ferret was levitated aside, next to a box half-filled with rainbow-colored pelts. “I don’t… I don’t owe anything to the town! I pay my taxes! I-”
“You disturb the peace,” replied Twilight woodenly, and in that moment Rarity felt the most agonizing feeling rip through every nerve in her body, before she felt nothing at all, and yet felt somehow distant from where she knew her body had crumpled to the floor.
She could feel her being, her soul taking the shape of something else, and it hurt so little in comparison to what she felt it must, she tried to scream. No sound came out.
The most beautiful racoon in Equestria opened its eyes and saw the clipboard it lay on, with words scrawled illegibly across it.
INEFFICIENT
INEFFICIENT
INEFFICIENT
Twilight carefully settled the playpen over Rarity and gave her an unpleasantly grotesque smile. “Your soul is even stronger than Rainbow’s!” She said cheerfully. “I bet you could become even better shapes without losing so much of yourself! The process of creating something from nearly nothing isn’t… isn’t quite perfect yet, but that’s what we’re here to figure out!”
“Now,” said the alicorn, and the racoon screamed and no sound came out. “Are you ready to learn with me, Rarity?”
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See, this is why you aren't allowed to do drugs before you write.
Short n' sweet, with a nice gut dropkick at the end. I'm not sure if I'd use the "Death" tag, since I didn't see any hint of it. Otherwise, very cool!
10941978
Fair enough! I can remove the tag. Wasn't sure, wanted to be safe. I appreciate the feedback, and your comment!
(And I'm not on drugs... just my ADHD meds... and very little sleep!)
10941978
10941979
I think this part might've been what initially warranted the Death tag:
This type of story isn't my cup of tea, I'm afraid, but I could definitely appreciate the, for lack of a better word, "artistry" behind it. All in all, kudos!
:)
10941991
I get the feeling that this is one of those things where, the moment I add it back, someone will say it's better if it's gone. I love tags, but the back-and-forth between choosing them often feels more difficult than writing the actual fic!
And thanks for giving it a read, even if it isn't quite your thing. I appreciate you and your comment regardless!
im not even kidding, sometimes i think about this fic late at night and I feel deeply disturbed
Before I read this, I must know: Why would Rainbow's friends be happy if she got transformed against her will into a ferret?
10942032
Just imagine how I must feel as the author!
... the most I think about it is "did I ever write that one fic where somepony asks Twilight why the frick she turned Rainbow Dash into a ferret?" and then I find it and I go "ohhh yeah... it's a horror fic... nice."
10942037
Probably because they don't know that it's against her will! Or that she's a ferret at all!
One morning, as Rainbow Dash was waking up from awesome Wonderbolt dreams, she discovered that in bed she had been changed into a monstrous vermin cute little ferret...
Never mind community service around Ponyville, what about Cloudsdale ?
derpicdn.net/img/view/2015/4/25/882580.jpg
♫♪ Oompa! Loompa! Doo-pa-dee doo!
I've got a perfect puzzle for you.
Oompa! Loompa! Doo-oa-dee dee!
If you are wise, you'll listen to me.
What do you do when you don't want to wait?
All of those months while your pet hibernates?
What if you brought winter down to a halt?
Changing weather from what it ought!
Blowing up the factory!
Oompa! Loompa! Doo-pa-dee dah!
If you know the Princesses, you will go far!
You'll get pardoned by Royal Decree
Like the Oompa Loompa doo-pa-dee dee! ♫♪
Ummm... Has anyone seen Spike recently? Is there now a fancy set of patent
aligatordragon leather saddle and tack formal-wear up for auction to defray the costs of Secret of my Excess?I have no trash, and I must eat.
10942049
wow. just wow.
bloximages.newyork1.vip.townnews.com/mcdowellnews.com/content/tncms/assets/v3/editorial/5/9f/59ff5104-58df-507e-8b1f-0db4fa3d3e88/5ec6c95ea522d.image.jpg?crop=600%2C338%2C0%2C31&resize=1200%2C675&order=crop%2Cresize
Hm Twilight reasoning is QUITE off.
Yes… Rainbow Dash may have caused damage by being reckless in saving the town. But is that damage more or less than letting the disaster of the week do its thing?
Ouch, that's a really good story that earns the Horror tag well.
Efficiently, too :)
10942049
awesomegifs.com/wp-content/uploads/grumpy-cat-slow-clap.gif
Grumpy Cat is pleased.... or angry? I-I'm not sure...
Twilight becomes Worst Pony... again.
Chrysalis, you had ONE JOB! I paid you WELL... AND YOU FAILED ME!! TWICE!! Even after I gave you the anti-magic stone! YOU BUILT A STUPID THRONE WITH IT!
Now, as promised, I shall exterminate your species. Perhaps my NEXT slaves will learn from your example!
This did horror very well... I kinda want to see a resolution to all of this.
You know, this was short, creepy, and fun. Not especially terrifying or horrific (though the idea behind it is a bit more so), but with how few words you worked with, it turned out to be a very nice short story.
How ironic. A thing wearing Twilight's skin, all the while taking the warped skins of her friends to endlessly pay endless "debts".
10942655
What would a resolution even look like?
An ouroboros situation where twilight converts all of the mane 6 and then somehow herself to pay for her debts?
We discover if twilight is under the influence of something or of she is just twilighting?
Celestia, luna and the remaining mane 6 notice what has happened and put a stop to it?
Well that's kind of horrifying.
I reread the last paragraph again and again, and got goosebumps everytime
10943299
That's what I love to hear, thank you!
10942003
The purpose of the warning tags is to warn people, so that people can enjoy stories instead of being blindsided by something they're not up for seeing without first getting a head's up. Sometimes the warning is just about personal preference, sometimes it's rather more serious. Someone who just had someone they care about die, for example, might not be up for being surprised by death, this even if they are ok with reading other dark things.
If you kill a major character, it should be tagged
Death. If you kill a major character repeatedly so that you can harvest their body parts it should definitely be taggedDeath.It should arguably be marked as
Darktoo, but since that's a genre tag instead of a warning tag, there's rather more latitude for personal interpretation there.(For whatever it's worth, the story is well written and very disturbing.)
10943155
Yeah, I'd imagine Twi got possessed or something. She's crazy, but not that crazy.
10943716
Good point, well-put. Added the tag back.
Well… that happened. Pretty creepy for something so short, nice work
silent, would you happen to play MTG? I might have a friend i'd want to introduce to you, because i'm guessing the word pale meant colorless in context, and this sounds like either someone speaking to the room, or well... on second thought "pale fire" could also be a reference to electricity. so is this Robotwi, 'Drazitwi, or am i really fucking smarter than i think i am?
Wonderfully horrifying in an almost Eldritch manner dear. Quite enjoyable and Raritys internal monolog was very entertaining to read and I think probably the best POV of the mane 6 to see this story from.
10944869
I've played MTG in the past, yes, but it's been years. Last time I was into it... I think was when the Kaladesh pre-release came out? That was fun. Got a little flimsy vehicle to assemble. 10/10, would assemble a collection of expensive cards again!
Blinks a few times. ...uh okay ...
10945748
i love those, the game store i used to go to at the mall a couple clicks south of me had a bunch of those things hanging up, i always wanted a few for my room, but well, by now they're collectables, i just think it'd be cool to have a game store with an entire kaladeshi air battle going on above the patron's heads captured in still life
Hi! I'm commenting on multiple of your stories now, I guess, because HOLY SHIT are you a great writer. You are a wizard at the horror/dark genre and I think you absolutely took the right direction with this prompt. I'd never even HEARD or THOUGHT of something similar before, incredibly unique and well written. I like the ending, I love Twilight doing it for science, and I love the idea that it wasn't even from Rainbow's perspective like I thought it'd be. 10/10!!! Keep going!!
10950445
Okay but your comments are giving me life thank you SO MUCH
I learned something today; I don't enjoy pony horror. No offense to the author- it was very well written- but it's not my thing. Oh well, live and learn, I guess.