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Twilight and Applejack walk through the orchard in the darkness just before dawn, as the rancher describes a strange happening on one of the hills at the edge of her property.

A commission for a benefactor who wishes to remain anonymous, and wondered what conversation might take place under these circumstances. Thanks to you for this story <3
Slight spoilers for the tags: All of them are for one specific part of the tale when he lifts his hat. You'll know what I'm talking about when you hit it. :twilightsmile:

Edit 3/17/21: Holy shit guys, we didn't think a cowboy would go over so well :rainbowderp: Uh, I guess if enough people want it I can continue writing this pro bono? Yeah, let me know :rainbowkiss:
Edit 3/19/21: Well hell, after three days, two hundred likes, and staying on the front page for this long, I guess you guys want more of this one. Changing from Completed to Incomplete :eeyup:

Chapters (3)
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Comments ( 83 )

This must be a first. An actual, halfway good, HIE story. Though I swear this is a crossover with something. His accent more than anything else. Could be wrong of course.

Not sure why Twilight needed to be a unicorn here. But I blame whoever paid you more than anyone.

"...and some of us even have wings!" Twilight said as she stretched her own out.

10725420

Ah, sorry, but she's alicorn :twilightsheepish: Jake just didn't see her wings. No crossover either, I just live in Texas and havehad some cowboy friends.

10725426
Then there's a serious plot hole here. Unless this is explicitly ignoring Equestria Girls, Twilight should know what Jake is. He's not fully like her Canterlot High friends. But he is still human.

And I just missed that part, with Twilight showing her wings 😵😵😵.

10725433
The commissioner just asked that Twilight not know what humans were, so I ignored EQG, yeah :twilightblush: Suppose I'll tack on the AU tag so that's less strange

Well that's a heck of a thing. Very well written.

This is so well written! And I know that this is a short story but if the plot bunny ever hits you again I would love to see more! I adore this character and the idea of a human with a gun that's actually skilled with it in Equestria sounds amazing!

Loved it! Hoping that it continues! If not, still a good read!

I wouldn’t be apposed to more, but it’s also pretty good as is.

so is Jake an outlaw or bounty hunter from the 1800s?

Jake reminds me of Morgan, from RDR2. This has serious promise if you ever want to continue, but with him being dead, I'm not sure where you would go with it beyond a redemption story. Being dead makes that even harder I would think. The possible foreshadowing of him wanting death, and seeking to end it on the cliff by Twilight or jumping is interesting. The symbolism of him standing at the edge of said cliff, on the precipice of death, is interesting too. Staring at the distant sunset is also a good touch.

"Jake, no! If you destroy the McGuffin, it will kill you!"
"Don't fret none, Ma'm. I'm already dead. I'll just finally get the rest of the world to admit it."

He's still speaking and thinking with a huge hole in his head... and most of the brain therein expunged.

He must be a DEMON-POSSESSED CORPSE!! AHHHHHHH!!!! *Alondro runs around in a circle screaming, because what else is one supposed to do?!* :raritydespair:

:trollestia:

10726352
Hmm... if we extend the metaphor... then perhaps as he "steps away from the precipice" both physically and morally, and perhaps emotionally, the hole will begin to close up, and his brain will begin to return, until he is finally normally and mortally alive?

10725426
Differentiating between winged and non-winged unicorns is a kinda modern thing. Even back in the 1980's a unicorn with wings was just "a winged unicorn", and "Alicorn" was the term for a unicorn's horn.

I like it, if you decide to continue it I will continue reading it

Goddamn this was great

I dont suppose a continuation of some sort is possible?

10726501

Like with Dumbledore at the train station, you can go forward or you can go back.

Judging from his more religious statements, I think either way could work for granting him life.

Backwards and he atones, healing himself and recovering his life. This is him returning to the mortal coil, where actions will effect the state of his immortal soul.

Whether he remains there or moves on (to the Next Great Adventure, or Life Eternal, or whatever) is another decision point.

Right now he is standing still, between now and then, life and death, and as long as he is that walking corpse, he is still standing on that cliff edge, no matter where he actually goes.

You can also look at it as a refusal to lift the veil of Mara, and have an insistence on remaining within the illusion of the world. There is no life, or death. There just is, and what you see is illusion.

Yes, absolutely, please, more of this, myes.

I've always wanted more fics involving Applejack and Cowboys.

Ah, just remember. Once you're Harrowed, you always gotta watch out for hungry Manitous. Least you're immune to Texas Tummy Twisters.

Damn if I want a second part for this, it has a lot of potential, so yeah, I say you go ahead and continue with it.

Do yourself a favor and consider a sequel. :moustache:

This is refreshing take on the HiE trope! The religious implications are also super interesting and would love to see how Jake copes with all this.

If you make more of this then I will read it.

Sign me up for future chapters. I want to see where this goes. Its a fairly short prologue, but already the dialogue and narration has me feeling sympathy for Jake's situation.

This was a very good one-shot. I wouldn't mind reading more .

I like it, I would love to read more!

Would love to read more, actually! Also I was very surprised that the character wasn't Arthur Morgan from RDR2. Even so, I'm already very interested in what Jake's story might possibly be. Well done! :twilightsmile:

Well now. This'd make a right ol' tale ta tell.

(Huh, this is a very interesting premise... don't think I've seen anyone do 'undead cowboy in Equestria' before... I would be quite interested in this if it continued.)

So the human is Jake Adler, then? Interesting idea, if that's the case.

Huh. I kinda expected him to attempt to kill himself (either saying such outright, or just wandering away into the woods, leaving his gear and two confused ponies behind) but it was still an interesting read.

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Sorry guys, I haven't played A Red Dead game :twilightblush: I'm just a guy living in Texas writing a cowboy

10726375
Been a while since I've seen you comment on a story. Probably just luck of the draw, more than anything, but it hasn't been the same without you, buddy.


As for the story, well, I feel that we need a musical accompanyment. Signor Morricone, se lo facesse?

10727960 I have been... busy... with... things. :trixieshiftright:

This is interesting.
I certainly wouldn't mind more of this.

You have me intrigued.

10727914
Ah, I gotcha. No problem~ :twilightsmile: Though, if you're interested, I would definitely recommend the Red Dead games. They are both quite good.

10728753
I've been getting more interested over the last couple of days XD I think there's a developer sale on steam, I'll have to check it out

10726501 Huh, that reminds me of one WoW/MLP crossover. Twilight goes to Azeroth, shenanigans, and comes back with a Forsaken. The sequel has the Forsaken slowly return to life.

Yo this was amazing to read, I'd love a continuation!

i need context for the cowboy~!:trollestia:

Excellent fic. Very much enjoyed the weird west feel that came through in this piece, especially with the man's nonchalant acceptance of things like magic or talking horses.

10729487
Yeah, I know. A guy would have to have a hole in his head to believe in that stuff. Oh, wait....

This is a really good short story. In my mind, it would be a shame to add more to it, just leave it to the imagination.

Great job man, great job.

I very rarely comment on stories, but this seems like a worthy cause please continue this if you don't mind.

Well I'm intrigued definently liked and followed this is a great start to a story. I'm looking forward to more:pinkiehappy:

I'm getting Ghost Rider vibes from this (the song, not the marvel character).
Take it from me, this story has great potential. (Sounds rather similar to my first work which I posted recently)

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