> Up, on the Hill
>  by SilverEyedWolf
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

> Something Stands
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

"It's up there, Twi," Applejack said, nodding at one of the hills on the outskirts of her property. "Last I saw it was just standin' there, looking out at the horizon."

Twilight nodded as they continued walking between the trees, enjoying the cool morning air. "And what did you say it was?"

"Well that's the thing Twi," AJ said with a frown. "Ah can't rightly tell. It's dressed like one of the ponies from 'round Appleloosa, the way it's all geared up, but the thing's a full couple of hooves taller than Princess Celestia! It's taller than Iron Will, an' it stands jus' like him too."

"Wait, it's taller than Celestia!?" Twilight asked, stopping in her tracks. "Should we get the rest of the girls?"

AJ stopped a couple of hooves away and glanced back, shaking her head.

"I dunno," she said, unsure of herself. "All I've seen it doin' was jus' standin' on that there cliff, staring at the sunset. I checked again today, an' it was doin' the same thing like it didn' move all night."

Her eyes narrowed a little, her eyebrows dipping down. "A creature that don' sleep jus' don' exist, does it?"

"Well," Twilight started slowly, walking again towards the hill, "Princess Celestia doesn't have to sleep more than once a week, and Luna's the same way, but I don't know anycreature else like that. Maybe it slept while you were away, and it just happened to pick the same spot?"

"Ah dunno, Twi," AJ said with a small shake of her head. "I didn't get close enough to see any place that looked like it had been slept on."

Twilight sighed heavily, shaking her mane and letting the tension fall from her shoulders.

"Well, hopefully it can understand us, and we can ask it," she said with a sharp nod to herself, sealing that particular wish with punctuation as she ignored the unsure look AJ gave her.

They reached the base of the hill, and AJ gestured with her head for Twilight to follow her in an arc around the trees there. AJ froze and her hair stood on end before she glanced at Twilight and jerked her head towards the single tree atop the hill.

Twilight slowly walked up beside her and looked up the hill just as the sun rose over the horizon, and gazed up at the creature standing on the edge of the broken hill.

It had a hat that instantly reminded her of AJ's, right beside her, though the crown was flat while the brim was less oval and didn't have the flip up. It seemed to have its two upper limbs crossed before it, and was indeed built much like Iron Will. Most of its body was covered over by a brown coat that draped over its broad shoulders and hung to just above its brown, heeled boots.

In addition to its clothes and hat, it had a large pair of saddlebags over one of its shoulders, and a large roll of tan canvas over its other. Glancing over its back, Twilight didn't see any other sort of pack and wondered idly if it lived out of only that set of saddlebags.

AJ cleared her throat quietly and nudged Twilight with a hoof.

As lost in thought as she was, Twilight let out a squeak and jumped, realizing that her own fur was just as on-end as Applejack's.

"Shh!" AJ whispered before they glanced up the hill.

Both gulped when they saw the figure, now half-turned their way and looking directly down at them. His eyes buried themselves into Twilight's, and she stood frozen until the wrinkles around the dark brown eyes relaxed and its left arm slowly pulled out of its coat and away from a belt that was quickly covered again.

It gazed down the hill, maybe thirty yards away, for ten seconds before it slowly set its packs down on the ground. Reaching up with both of its arms, Twilight watched as its digits wrapped around a pair of apples and plucked them from the branches, before it knelt and held both of the fruits out and made a clicking noise with its mouth, hidden behind a thin raspberry-colored cloth.

Twilight glanced at AJ before she slowly started to walk up the hill. Hoofsteps just behind and beside her let her know that the rancher was following along.

As they neared the creature Twilight's ears flicked back as its smell reached the two of them, heavy with sweat and uncleaned body odor. It stayed completely still though, so they continued to cover the distance until they were within reach of the apples.

As they paused, a quiet, husky voice whispered, "A Gods-damned unicorn, right in front of me. I's alright, girl, i's alright. I ain't gonna hurt'cha, so you can take i'."

Twilight swallowed, before reaching out with her right hoof and taking the apple from it. "Uh, thank you," she said before slowly sitting.

She flinched as the other apple thudded onto the ground between the creature and AJ, its digits suddenly limp, its arms only held up by its knees. AJ slowly sat beside her, reaching out and gently picking up the dropped apple.

"Jesus Christ," the creature muttered, reaching up to cover its face with its hat as it scratched its scalp with the other hand. Replacing it carefully, it pulled down the cloth in front of its mouth, displaying a pair of thin, pale lips surrounded by scruffy, almost mangy hair. "So, you can talk, then."

"Yes sir," Twilight said, nodding.

The creature's nodded before it sat fully on the ground and looked between the two. "Jesus Christ," it said again.

"Is that a curse?" AJ asked, frowning slightly.

The creature jumped a bit when she spoke, and gave a weak laugh. "Ah, of course, the horses woul' be heathens," he said, shaking his head. "Jesus Christ is the name of God's Son, the savior of all mankind."

Twilight's ears twitched, and she shuffled a little closer.

"What's mankind?" she asked, her horn lighting up as she started casting a spell.

The creature flinched and reached down to its belt again before it caught itself and pulled its arms back. It watched with wide eyes as a scroll appeared, alongside a quill and inkwell.

"God blast me, you're a witch," he muttered, watching her carefully dip the quill into the well.

"I'm well above a witch, thank you," Twilight sniffed before she began writing on the scroll. "I'm closer in level to a solar or another such scholar."

It didn't seem to know what that meant, so it slowly nodded and said, "Yes ma'am."

Twilight smiled at it, before asking, "Uhm, if you don't mind answering my questions, will you please tell me what mankind is?"

It seemed even more lost by that question. "Uh, well, it's all the people in the world, I guess?" It glanced at the two of them. "Uh, all the humans."

"So you're a hyuman?" Twilight said, scribbling freely on the scroll floating beside her. "Are there any more of you?"

"Well, there was a few of us, back when I was alive," it said with a shrug. "Don' know how many are here though. Might just be me, since I died alone."

"Died?" Twilight asked, the scratching of the quill pausing as she looked him over. "You don't look dead to me?"

It snorted and raised a hand to the brim of its hat before pulling it away.

It had shoulder-length hair covering the top of its head, thicker than the hair on its cheeks but similarly colored. The long greasy locks had been tied back by something Twilight couldn't see, but the hair wasn't the only thing she could now see.

"Wow," she said, leaning forward to look at the dark spot on its forehead, about the size of a bit. "Is that a... bruise..." she started to ask, before paling and gagging.

As it tilted its head down, she saw a streak of blood drip from the hole, and she saw a bright blue flash of the sky on the other side of what looked to be a tunnel through its head. She barely comprehended the jagged chunks of bone on the other side of the hole before she turned and threw up the cereal she'd had for breakfast.

"Sorry," it said, quickly replacing the hat. "I don't know what it looks like, I jus' remember what caused it. Can feel it a bit, but like a limb that's been tied off," he said, glancing at the pale Applejack.

"How the buck are you talkin'?" she asked faintly. "Are you a buckin' zombie?"

"Sorry ma'am, I don't know what that is," it said with a shrug. "I don't know how I'm movin' 'round either. Should be rottin' in the dirt, but here I am I suppose."

Twilight spit a couple of times, shaking her head to get the grisly image out of her mind. "Well, that's something," she said faintly, gagging once more before pressing her hoof to her mouth. "He's—" She glanced at the creature, who nodded, "He's not a zombie AJ, he's still, uh, cognizant. He's closer to one of Rockhoof's draugr, a revenant of some kind."

"I don't know what that means," said both AJ and the creature at the same time, looking at each-other warily afterward.

"Well, a revenant is a loan-word from the Prench revenant, which means 'returning'. It's literally a corpse that has 'returned' from whatever the other side is," she said, looking at both of them.

"But why?" he asked. "I know I don't deserve no Heaven, but this don't seem like Hell either."

"That's the question," Twilight nodded, summoning another piece of parchment and laying it on the ground. "It could be a question of metaphysics, where your mind just wasn't ready to move on and so you wound up here. Or it could be something astrophysical, where your death just happened to trigger some unknown law of mechanics that dropped you on a world across the universe, alive. Or it could even be something to do with temporal physics, and your death caused your consciousness to be catapulted into either the future or the past!"

Twilight panted a little while the other two looked at each other.

"That's a lot of very smart-sounding words," he said slowly, motioning to his head, "an' I've only got half a brain right now. You think you could send me back with your, uh, solar witchery?"

Twilight licked her lips, narrowing her eyes.

"Uhm, if I studied you for long enough, it is possible that I could reverse-engineer whatever happened to you," she said slowly. "But it would likely take more power than I have, and even if I did, I don't know if you'd still be alive when you got there," she said, gesturing at his forehead.

He nodded. "Alright," he said, still nodding. "Uh. Hmm. Well, you think you could just go ahead and finish it then?" he asked lightly.

"Finish what?" Twilight asked, flinching when he pointed at his head. "No!" Twilight yelped, her eyelids shooting to their fullest width. "Why would I k-k-kill you!?"

The creature, the man, shrugged. "Well, far as I can figure I'm already dead," he said, lifting a hand and raising a digit. Lifting another, he said, "An' leavin' me alive is probably some sort of affront to God, and I don't wanna be makin' Him any madder than I already have." He paused, before shrugging and dropping his arm. "There's probably other good reasons, but I can't think of them right now," he said, before chuckling. "Can't think of them, hehe."

Twilight and AJ shared a look before Twi shook her head. "There's no reason good enough to kill another liv—" Twilight started, before catching herself. "Another, uh, thinking creature."

He sighed, nodding. "I figure ya would say as much." Standing up, he stretched his arms above his head and sighed as a couple of loud cracks rung through the air. He looked over his shoulder, at the edge of the cliff, before shaking his head and looking at Twilight.

"I don't suppose you know a place where I could get some clean water then? It's been long enough since my last bath, and I need a shave," he said, raising a hand and scratching at the coarse hair on his chin.

"Well, if you promise to not hurt anycreature, then I have a couple of spare rooms," Twilight said with a slow smile.

He nodded slowly. "I won't shoot down nothing that ain't comin' at me," he promised. "There more of you purple unicorns and orange horses around?"

"Yup!" Twilight chirped with a smile. "But we call ourselves 'Ponies'. All of the taller horses are over in Saddle Arabia. And we come in all colors, and some of us even have wings!" Twilight said as she stretched her own out.

The human chuckled. "Ponies, then. And flying ones, at that." Sighing, he leaned over and lifted his bags back onto his shoulders. "As long as you don't have demons running around."

"No, they're all in Tartarus," Twilight said as she stood. "My assistant's a dragon though, so be ready for that."

"Really now? A sea dragon?" he asked, tilting his head to the side.

"No, your regular fire-breathing kind," she said with a smile up at him. "His name's Spike. Oh, and I'm Twilight Sparkle, and this here is Applejack," she said, nodding at the mare who'd doffed her hat in reply.

"Well hello, Twilight and Applejack," he said, nudging the tip of his hat but leaving it on. "Name's Jake. Nice to meetcha."
> Something Walks
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

Jake whistled when he saw the arc of wood over the entrance to Sweet Apple Acres. "Ain't seen such a gate like that since ah got out'a Georgia. Those real apples?"

"Nah," she said, shaking her head as they kept walking towards the mentioned arc and gap in the fence. "Iron and paint. Real vines, though."

"Couldn't tell from back here," he said, nodding as he caught a glimpse of light reflecting off of one of the fruits. "Damn good artistry there. It's a bit of a relief to hear you can shape metal, too. I've had my fill of backwater villages without a smith, and it's a right pain in the ass to get even somethin' as small as a pack of nails."

The pony's ears twitched a couple of times as he spoke.

"Uhm, those are pretty strong profanities," Twilight spoke up, pausing the group as they neared the house.

"Ah'd ask ya not to use that sort of language near foal's ears," AJ said sternly.

Jake blinked before reaching up to tug briefly on the edge of his hat. "Apologies, ladies," he murmured. "It's been a time since I was in the presence of the fairer sex or mannered society. Tell me which words offended, and they'll cross my lips no more."

"Well," Twilight said slowly, looking around and blushing a little when she told him, "Damn has some very dark religious connotations that haven't been around in centuries, and calling a donkey an Ass has been considered vulgar for the past hundred and fifty years."

Jake blinked and smiled down at her. "You're sh—" He paused and cleared his throat, narrowing his eyes towards the horizon before continuing, "You're kidding me. Donkeys are intelligent too, here?"

"Well, sure!" Twilight said slowly, resuming the relaxed walking pace. "Were they not, where you came from?"

He chuckled before saying, "Some'd say that there's a few that were more than clever enough, but most of them were just da—" Another breath. "Just stubborn. Strong as anything, but stubborn."

"They're the same way here," AJ chuckled.

"But they talk here?" Jake asked.

"As well as we do," Twilight said with a nod.

Jake started to say something else, but they'd reached the arc leading off of the grounds, and he paused to gentle grasp and admired one of the painted apples before ducking deeply to get under the trellis.

Twilight saw something move on the back of his head as he bent, and she narrowed her eyes until she realized what it was and gagged again.

Jake glanced sharply at her and checked his hat, glancing at AJ when he confirmed it was where it was supposed to be.

"Your," Twilight started, gulping before she waved a hoof at his head. "Uh, the rest of your skull, it's—" Another gag. "It's still back there. It looks like it's, uh, still attached. To your scalp."

AJ paled again as Jake's eyes widened a bit before he carefully reached around the back of his head.

"Well damned if it ain't," he muttered before carefully lifting his hat and moving something around on the back of his head before replacing it. "Better?" he asked as he turned around slowly and tilted his head up.

It looked like he'd pinned it back where it was supposed to be, using the band of the hat to keep the bone in place. It looked a little lumpy, and there was a great stain of brown-red that covered his hair and the back of his coat, but there wasn't any visible gore, at least.

"Uhm, it that..." Twilight started, before shivering. "Is that comfortable? Does it... hurt?"

"It don't feel right," he muttered unhappily, "but it don't hurt none. Like when you sleep on your arm and it wakes up wrong in the morning."

"Well, I don't see any bone or, uh, meat," AJ muttered. "Can you do somethin' 'bout the blood, Twi?"

"I can try, if that's alright, Jake?"

He looked over his shoulder. "You gonna throw a bucket of water at me, or somethin'?" he asked as his visible eyebrow raised.

"No Jake, it's still pretty chilly," Twilight said with a giggle. "I was going to use a stain removing spell that one of my friends taught me. It might even help your coat smell a bit better."

He gazed at her, long enough for the smile to drop, before he slowly nodded.

"Alright," he muttered, setting the bags to the side before stripping off his coat and dangling an arms-length in front of him.

Underneath the long brown coat, he wore a set of what Twilight recognized as trousers, thick light-brown wool with what appeared to be suspenders holding them at the waist. They were covered in a sort of sheath, made up of a strange material she didn't recognize. At the ends of the trousers, a pair of squared boots poked out from the pants.

There was a shirt, simple undyed cotton fabric with a row of white buttons running up the front. Over the shirt was a vest, made of the same material as the outer pants, with many slits that Twilight reckoned to be pockets. The raspberry cloth that previously covered his face pooled around his neck, apparently tied behind it.

Back at his waist was a heavy-looking loop of the same material that covered the trousers with a large, strangely shaped pouch on its right hip. A series of small, cylindrical loops covered the face of the belt and held small pieces of metal in most of the small loops.

She took this all in as he waited for a beat before looking at her.

"Uhm, will your, uh, spell, take the wax off?"

"Wax?" Twilight said, frowning at the coat. "Why's there wax on your coat?"

Jake shrugged. "Keeps the water off," he said, glancing around and seeing the well nearby. "If you wanna get a bucket, you can see," he offered. "Might get some of the blood off as well."

Twilight looked at AJ, who shrugged before she grabbed a bucket in her magic and dunked it in the well before bringing it over.

Taking a moment, he draped the material over the trellis, allowing Twilight to see that the blood had thankfully stopped before reaching his shirt, though the fabric around his neck would also need to be seen to.

Taking a step back, he nodded at Twilight, who promptly launched the water in the bucket at the coat.

The water splashed over the material and ran briefly with the dark-brown of old blood. Rolling up one of his sleeves, Jake stepped over and started to reach out his hand.

"Wait, Jake," Twilight quickly said, "I can get it off without touching it!"

He paused, shrugged, then rolled his sleeve back down over intensely tanned skin and a light covering of dark hair.

Watching him back away, Twilight formed a straight, dull edge with her field and used it to gently scrape at the jacket, forcing the bloody water down the outside and cleaning most of the dust off at the same time.

After a couple of minutes, Twilight nodded, most of the stain gone.

"Now, does your hair have anything, uhm, besides blood, in it?" she asked with an awkward smile.

"You want to magic my hair?" he asked, eyes widening at her.

"A lot more gently," she reassured, nodding. "If there's no product in your hair, then I can run a cleaning spell over it instead. Not a true replacement for some hot, soapy water, but it'll get all of the blood out."

Looking down at her, he sighed before reaching behind his back and untying what turned out to be a long piece of fabric, letting his shoulder-length hair free. Most of it didn't actually move, clotted together as it was.

"Careful tuggin' on it," he said with a thin smile before kneeling in the grass so that she could be eye-level with his shoulders. "Whole top may fall off."

Turning a little green, Twilight took in a deep breath before she carefully took his hair in her magic and carefully applied one of her more-used spells, though she wouldn't care to admit to that.

The blood, grease, and grime slowly separated from the strands and became its own little ball before she promptly catapulted it into the sky, directly towards the Everfree.

Jake reached over a shoulder and gently ran his fingers through his hair, frowning heavily.

"Why's it feel like that?"

AJ glanced at Twilight before moving forward and gently running her frog over it.

"Clean?" she asked, visibly bewildered as he ran his hands through it again.

"Huh," he said, frowning as he stood up and looked at both of them, still feeling his hair before sighing and dropping his arms. "If you say so. Feels... thin, like it's about to break."

AJ and Twilight shared a look. The cowpony shrugged, and they looked back at Jake.

Clearing her throat, Twilight shrugged and said, "Uh, maybe your hair is just finer than our manes? I'm really not the pony to ask about that."

"Twi's a bookworm," AJ told Jake, who looked at Twilight strangely.

"She... eats books?" he asked uncertainly, smiling a bit when AJ snickered at Twilight's blush.

"Only with her eyes," she said, nudging the alicorn.

"I read a lot," she muttered to Jake. "She's just teasing me about the volume."

Looking a little lost, Jake just nodded. "Alright..."

"Anyways," Twilight said, shaking her head. "I'm not the pony to ask about manes. That would be my friend Rarity."

"If you think I need'ta," Jake murmured, looking over the coat and picking it back up. Looking around at the sky for a moment, he shrugged before rolling it up and adding it to one of the bags he had on his back.

"If I may," Twilight asked as he was shrugging back into the pack, "what are those little metal bits on your belt? Are they decoration, or some sort of capsule for something?"

"My bullets?" he asked, looking at her with a cocked head before withdrawing one of the cartridges and holding it out.

"Oh, it's made of two different metals," Twilight noted, taking the offered piece in her field and examining it. "It looks like brass and... lead? Why lead?"

"It's easy to find, and cheap," Jake said with a shrug. "That's not the important part though, that's inside."

Twilight frowned, gently tugging on it with her magic and looking up at Jake. "Inside?"

He chuckled and reached out, taking it back from Twilight and holding it in the air. "I'll show ya later. Once I figure out if a chemist can make more of the black powder inside."

"Oh, how lucky! I happen to be an accomplished chemist!" Twilight said, tittering afterward. "Well, I'm not as good as the great Antonius Mendelhoof, but he also lived hundreds of years ago, so I still have better equipment."

"Oh, good," Jake said, some of the wrinkles between his eyebrows relaxing. "I was worried. Inside is black powder, an explosive that sends this," he said, tapping the lead head of the cartridge, "into anything that looks at ya wrong." He then slipped it back into his belt. "Noisy, though."

"Oh, how loud?" she asked, looking up at Jake.

"Loud," he said, looking down the road to town. "Uhm, that bath would still be nice."

"Oh," Twilight said, smiling bashfully up at him and turning to start walking. "I'm sorry, Jake, it's just been a little since I learned about anything really, well, new to this world. There's so much potential knowledge! And I get to ask questions even, without looking through a completely different book for answers!"

Twilight giggled and bounced a couple of times on her hooves, reminding Jake of a move that some horses used to throw riders.

It reminded Applejack of Pinkie Pie.

"Uh, Twilight, " she said, trotting forward and giving Twilight a jostle with her hip. "You don't think we should let somepony know? Somepony pink and prone to surprising folks?"

"Oh," she said again, this time frowning afterward in thought. "Jake, one of our friends sort of likes to surprise creatures who are new to town. Do you want me to ask her not to pop out at you? Will you be okay if she pops out of nowhere and talks to you?"

"Uh, what do you mean by nowhere?" Jake asked, lifting his boot and staring at the ground distrustfully.

"Well, it's the darndest thing," AJ muttered, looking around herself as well. "Ah could swear that she's even popped out'a my own hat before."

Jake's eyes widened and he said, with a grin, "Hope she don't choose mine this time."

Twilight stuck her tongue out of her mouth while AJ chuckled. "She's a smart enough mare, even if she does seem a bit scatterbrained. She'll probably pop up where we least expect here."

"Like in the middle of the road!" another voice chimed in.

"Well, sure, like—" AJ started to say before the two ponies jumped back and whipped their heads around, looking at a particularly pink puff of pony parading in place.

"It's Pinkie!" she crowed, quietly for her.

Jake looked between the three mares before sighing.

"Ah'm gonna go find my own bath," he muttered before walking forward, lifting his legs and stepping over the new pony.

"Oooh, you're tall!" Pinkie called, bouncing behind him as he kept striding forward. "Taller than me anyways! Taller than Princess Celestia, even!"

"Isn't that nice," Jake muttered, walking forward with narrowed eyes. "She the one that lives over in that big rock candy mountain?" he asked, waving a hand at the castle off in the distance.

"Nah, that one's Twilight's Castle of Friendship," Pinkie said before standing on her back hooves and gently leaning one of her forelegs on Jake's shoulder, pointing up at the Canterhorn and the city visible jutting off of the side. "That one's Princess Celestia's," she said. "Well, sort of? It's also sort of ours now, right?" she asked, looking over at Twilight.

Since she was too busy pushing her hoof into her face, AJ spoke up.

"Well, kind of?" she said, scratching her chin with one hoof as the group continued. "Like, Celestia an' Luna definitely still live there, and Twi's still in her castle down here, but she teleports there to take care of anything important before comin' back here, right?"

Twilight nodded, hoof still in face.

"If'n I remember right, Celestia's still catching up on paperwork, and Luna still does the dream walkin'," AJ said, more sure of herself. "I'm not real sure if there's anything else."

With a faint pop, Twilight disconnected her hoof and muttered, "They also opened up their offices as advisors to anycreature who wanted to talk. As long as it's not about anything official, of course."

"So, you're a princess then?" Jake asked, looking oddly at the pink pony walking with him as a balance. "What does your king do then? Or d'ya have a queen instead?"

"Neither," Twilight said, a bit sternly. "There have been Kings and Queens in the past, but they all just want everycreature to bow to them. That's why our rulers are known as Princesses, and sometimes Princes. That way, they know they don't actually own everypony. They help them live peacefully and happily."

Jake nodded absently before asking, "Why d'ya keep saying everycreature and everpony? Wouldn't it be easier to say everyone?"

"What about changelings? And creatures like Cerberus? Or chimera, or the hydra, or orthros, or—"

Jake waved a hand at Pinkie Pie. "Those are just one creature, ain't they?"

"Well," Twilight sighed, "Most of them have one body, but Cerberus has three, independently thinking heads, as does the standard chimera. While orthros have only two heads, Hydra starts at three and gains more if anything ever happens to them. And we're seeing a lot more changelings than we ever used to, and while they might not have a hive-mind anymore, they're definitely not limited to only one body."

Jake stopped and looked at her for a long moment.

"What do you mean by that?"

AJ chuckled. "It's all in the name, Jake. They can change their shape to whatever creature they can think of, and the really talented ones can make up their own things to turn in 'ta."

"Witchcraft," he muttered, gazing up at the sky for a moment as though looking for something before he started walking again.

"Jake, do you have any practitioners of high magic where you come from?" Twilight asked. "You keep referring to witches whenever we talk about or do something magical, but they don't actually rank very high compared to more learned unicorns."

Jake chuckled hollowly. "Ma'am, the only real magic is the miracles visited upon us by God and his choir," he said, waving a hand through the air. "Otherwise, anything unnatural was done by a witch, a human that consorts with demons for power. Or they feed themselves to the demon, and it takes over their body long enough to do some great evil."

"Take over? Like, possession?" Pinkie asked, raising her eyebrows. "Wow, I thought only ghosts could do that."

"Ghosts don't exist, Pinkie Pie," AJ said, before glancing at Jake. "I, uh, don't think so, anyway."

"There are scientific and magical papers that theorize about, and even attempt to contact, the soul of a creature. It wouldn't be too far to say that they're possible, at least," Twilight said, sharing her look at Jake.

"I don't know nothing about ghosts," he proclaimed, shaking his head, "but I believe in spirits. The spirit of the Lord, and the spirits of those turned by the Devil, and the Devil himself."

"What's the Devil? An' what lord?" AJ asked.

Jake sighed and shook his head. "I ain't no missionary, ma'am, and I don't know everything half as well as I should, but ah can tell you that the Lord is the one what made the world and everything in an' on it, and He holds host over Heaven, the place where ya go after ya die if you've been good and righteous enough. Otherwise, ya go to Hell, where the Devil tortures you until Jesus comes down and redeems your soul, and then ya go up with him after he defeats the Devil. Unless you're real wicked, down in your soul, then you stay in the lake of fire and burn forever."

The ponies had stopped walking at the mention of 'torture', and Jake had to pause when he finished to look behind himself at them.

"That don't make a lick'a sense," AJ slowly said.

Jake shrugged. "That's just what I remember the preacher tellin' us when I was growin' up."

"They told you that when you were growing up?" Twilight asked, outraged.

"Well, sure," he said, shrugging. "How else we supposed to know if we were sinnin' or not?"

Twilight's face grew stricken and rigid, while Pinkie's screwed up.

"You're talking about religion?" Twilight asked. "A universal constant as to what is and isn't right, as defined by a deity? A god?"

He snapped his fingers, nodding. "Well yeah, sure. But not a god, the God. Creator of all, and all that."

"Oh," Twilight said quietly, before smiling hollowly up at Jake. "Do you mind if I talk with the girls for a moment? Alone?"

He snorted, before shrugging. "Sure. I'll jus' keep walkin', but slow-like."

"Alright, Jake," she said with a smile as the other two gathered around her. She watched him take a couple of long but lethargic paces, looking around and taking in the sights around him before she gathered up the two mares.

"Don't listen to anything he says about his god or sin, or anything," she whispered. "Don't confront him about it either."

"What—" Pinkie started to ask, but Twilight shook her head.

"I don't want to go into depth right now, but there used to be religious ponies that worshiped anything, from Celestia to Discord to the Everfree, even. They usually ended up hurting, sometimes killing other creatures, because they didn't believe in the same things they did. Now, I don't think that Jake's like that—"

"Obliged to hear that, Miss Twilight," Jake called back, each of the ponies stiffening in place. "Just so you know, I ain't the kind to go shovin' my thoughts and beliefs where they ain't welcome. Also, I lived as part of the security detail on the cattle drives, so m'ears are pretty good."

Twilight observed him, waited for more, but eventually breathed out quietly. "I'm sorry Jake, that wasn't very understanding of me," she started until he waved his hand through the air.

"I don't fault you none for it," he said, stopping and half turning her way, resting a hand on the oddly shaped bag on his hip.

"Some of the nuttier followers would've shot you dead for even implyin' that God may not exist," he admitted, in a voice that chilled her heart and blood, before he smiled blandly. "Way I see it is I'm in your world now, and I better adapt. Those that don't adapt? They end up dead. And I'm guessin' I didn't much care for how that went last time."

He reached up and flicked the edge of his hat before turning away and continuing to saunter away.

"He's kinda scary, huh?" Pinkie deadpanned.

"Are you sure you want him hangin' out in your castle, Twi? In town?" AJ asked, gazing after the retreating figure.

Twilight was quiet for a while before she started walking after him.

"I don't think I like the alternative all that much, Applejack."
> Something Mends
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

Jake paused yet again, watching the stormy gray pegasus sweep overhead with a wave to Twilight before he shook his head. Again.

"You'll get used to it, Jake," Pinkie chirped, smiling and waving back at the postmare.

"Prolly," he muttered, his step stuttering again as another pegasi flew overhead. "Just not used to seeing horse— Er, ponies, fly around. Just birds."

"The only things on your world that flew were birds?" Twilight asked, cocking her head as she waved at the newest flier. The pale purple mare barely had enough time to duck her head in return before putting on more speed, bolting towards where the postmare had disappeared.

Scratching his chin, Jake thought for a moment before saying, "We had insects too. Flies and grasshoppers and such. And I guess we had bats." He started to lift his hat but stopped when AJ cleared her throat. "Think that's it?"

"Okay, so you at least had mammals with the capability," Twilight said with a nod, turning onto the main road that led up to her castle.

"Sure," Jake said mildly and a bit thoughtlessly. "Oh, I think we had stories of a horse with wings, but I don't remember his name. One of those real old stories that only the stuffy guys know."

"Stories? Like, campfire tales, or myths?" AJ asked, gently nudging him when he reached for his hat again.

Sighing, he shrugged. "One and the same, ain't they? But this was one of the older stories, like the ones that tell of Unicorns and men who pull swords from lakes."

"You had stories about unicorns, too?" Twilight asked.

Jake huffed. "We had lots of stories. Can we hurry?" he asked, nodding towards the not-too-distant castle. "I think my skull's starting to leak again."

Pinkie let him take another step forward before balancing up on her two back hooves. "Nah," she said, looking at the back of his head. "There's just a little of the old stain. Oh, but it looks like some of the back is starting to slip down out of the hat."

Twilight turned green and stuck her tongue out as Jake chuckled dryly.

"Thank'ya for lettin' me know, ma'am." He reached back with both hands and held the back of the hat down before shoving on the back of his head before tilting it forward. "Better?"

"Yuppers!"

"Hey, we're here!" Twilight called with a forced chuckle before trotting off towards the large double doors. With a quick push, she disappeared within.

"Wonder what got under her skin," Jake said before chuckling again.

Applejack sighed as she shook her head. "Really though, what're we gonna do about that crater in yer cranium?"

Jake shrugged. "If ya got some twine, ah could prolly just tie it down?"

AJ scowled a bit. "That ain't gonna solve nothing, Jake; it'll just make creatures look closer. Maybe Twilight can put it back in place and, I dunno, heal it together or something."

Jake hummed lightly and shrugged as he reached the stairs, walking up and gently pushing the door further open. He stood to the side to let the other two pass before he slipped in and closed it. Reaching up, he gripped his hat's crown before pausing, sighing, and leaving it where it was as he stripped his backpack and coat off instead. Looking around, he saw a series of hooks hanging on the wall with a pair of scarves on it and hung both of his things beside them.

"Ya'll have a rug or something where ah can wipe my boots?" he asked, looking at the crystal floor. "Hate to muck up this shine."

"You can just leave them next to the coat rack!" Twilight called out from deeper in the hallways. "Unless you don't want to for some reason, then I can clean it later with no problems!"

Jake shrugged before reaching down as he stood on one leg and gripped the heel of his boot, tugging it a couple of different ways before pulling a foot covered in undyed cotton out and placing the shoe beneath a rack of hooks and copying the action for his other foot.

"Oh wow, Jake," Pinkie said with a slight blush. "Do you always wear those?"

He looked down at his feet, raised one to look at it a bit closer to make sure there wasn't anything on the fabric, then asked, "My stockings?"

There was a thud from the other room, followed by Twilight's incredulous face poking into the hall.

"Jake! There are chil— There are young creatures around! You can't just go around in s-s-socks! What would everycreature think!?"

He stared at Twilight for a long while before pointing at his boots and dead-panning, "That those chafe an awful lot without them? My skin'd fall off if I was just wearin' boots." He chuckled again. "More than is it now."

"Your..." Twilight started before looking at his fleshy hand. "You don't have any fur," she said with a small 'oh'. "You wear them for protection."

"Yuh," he said, nodding.

"Ah, I see. Uhm, all the same, would you mind taking them off? They have connotations here."

Jake stared at her. After half a minute, he asked, "Connotations?"

"It's lingerie, Jake," Pinkie said. When he shook his head, she cleared her throat before saying with a blush, "Ponies only wear socks when they wanna make more ponies, Jake."

He narrowed his eyes at her and cocked his head to the side.

"Sex, Jake," AJ muttered, slapping a hoof over her eyes.

"Oh. Oh!" he said, before shrugging and reaching down and pulling the fabric off and holding it for a moment, looking around before stuffing the four-hoof long garment into one of the boots and giving the other the same treatment.

He drummed his toes on the crystal before holding his hands out to either of his sides. "How about now? Am I gonna proposition somebod— somecreature accidentally?"

"Nah, you're good now," Pinkie said, quickly following it up with, "I think. I've heard about some creatures with a thing for digits, but not like, foot digits?"

"Ah call 'em toes," he said before looking at Twilight and raising a foot. "Better, Miss Princess?"

She narrowed her eyes at his foot before huffing. "Yes, Jake, better. Now come on, or have you changed your mind about that bath? I've got a spare room, so you can bring your bags too."

"Yes, ma'am!" he said with a smile before grabbing his stuff off the wall and taking a few long strides down the hallway.

"Whoa!" AJ muttered before taking off in a canter to keep up with him.

"I knew he could really move if he wanted to!" Pinkie said with a giggle as she bounced along behind them.

He slowed as he reached Twilight, looking into the room over her head. He paused as he took in the barely furnished space containing a bed, a wardrobe, and another door. He looked down himself, at the bed, at his bags, and at the wardrobe again, before sighing.

"Twilight, this is awfully generous of you, an' I don' wanna complain, but that bed is a good couple of feet too short for me. And, uh, I don't see a tub or a washbowl or nothin'."

Twilight sighed, placing a hoof on her forehead. "The bathroom is through that door," she said, gesturing with the hoof. "And I can extend the bed, as well as appropriate another mattress for the frame. I'd just like to measure you first."

"Oh," he said, looking down at her. "Sorry."

Shaking her head, Twilight stepped aside and let him slowly enter the room, ducking when the very top of the crown of his hat tapped against the door frame. Looking around, he hung his coat on one of the two hooks on the wall and placed his packs near the wardrobe.

"So, bed first, then bath?" he asked, holding his right wrist with his left hand.

"Sure, Jake, just go ahead and get on the bed and I'll stretch it for you," Twilight said.

He looked over at the tightly made covers and the plush pillows before he looked back at her. "I'll have to take my hat off," he said, pointing at the brim above and between his eyes.

"Right," Twilight said, narrowing her eyes. She kept them narrowed, obviously mulling something over, before sighing. "Jake, this is going to be weird, but I need to see your head. This is going to be an issue until it gets fixed, but I can't fix it without seeing it."

He nodded. "Sounds right, but... Well, I've seen the inside of a skull or two. Cow and man both. It's not pretty, Twilight, and you seem..." He looked at her for a moment before sighing and saying, "You seem a bit squeamish, Twilight, an' I don' want you faintin' on me or upchucking in my brain bowl."

Twilight's face scrunched as she blushed before letting a breath out and nodding. "I understand your concerns," she said slowly, "but I have studied anatomy, and do have a working knowledge of how a pony's brain functions, at least." She waited a moment before muttering, "And I already emptied my stomach earlier, the first time."

He gazed at her, unblinking. She kept his gaze for a minute before he nodded slowly. "A'right then," he said, looking around the room. "If you wanna sit on the bed, I'll sit by it, and you can get as good a look as you want."

She nodded, trotting over as Jake looked at the other two. "You along for this ride?"

AJ turned a bit green. "Ah'll stay over here, thank you," she said, quickly stepping on Pinkie's tail as she tried to pronk over.

Jake nodded and looked at Twilight, who had summoned over a large, thick book, as well as the room's waste bucket. He watched her flip to a page towards the back and look over it before looking up at him and nodding.

Turning and sitting against the bed, he tilted his head forward a bit and said, "Whenever you're ready, just lift her off."

Twilight took a deep breath before gently grabbing the back of the brim in her field and pulling it slowly off.

She took in a shaky breath before asking, "Jake, is it alright if I take some vocal notes?"

"Sure," he said, shrugging. "If it's more complicated than 'hole-in-the-head', I probably won't understand anyhow."

"Alright," she said before summoning a scroll and quill and giving them a quick enchantment. Reaching out with her field, she shuddered before steeling herself.

"Autopsy of one Jake..." She trailed off, leaning to the side. "Is that your full name?"

"Jacob Idris Yew," he said, before adding on, "Son of Emyr Elis Yew and Beca..." He thought for a moment. "My mother didn't ever mention her father's name."

"Autopsy of one Jacob Id-dris Yew," she said, fumbling a little with the unfamiliar middle name, "conducted after lethal actions against subject's body that did not result in subject's... lasting death." She checked her scroll to make sure that it had recorded all of that before reaching out again with her field and carefully pulling the flap of skin on the back of Jake's head.

"Subject has been pierced with an unknown small weapon through the forehead, with large exit wound on the back of his head. The subject had shown signs of a large amount of exsanguination through the exit wound, but the bleeding has since ceased. Exit wound would have consisted of small round perforation, but the weapon seems to have caught a particular chunk of the subject's skull, resulting in a large tear in the scalp. Skull fragments—"

Twilight paused, making a strangled hurk-ing noise in her throat and looking towards the bucket for a moment before swallowing and shaking her head.

"Most of the fragments of the skull remain on the scalp, though a portion seems to have been completely obliterated or potentially merely lost. The exit wound is about half a hoof, while the entry wound seems to have been roughly a third of that. The weapon left a clear tear through the subject's encephalon, specifically his cerebrum. The tear's edges seem rough, as though the weapon was blunt. Some of the cerebral matter has been torn away, likely following along the weapon, marking it as likely being a projectile of some sort."

Jake coughed lightly, clearing his throat as Twilight jumped. His hand went to his belt before pulling one of the bits made of two metals up between his thumb and forefinger.

"This is what done it," he said, before clarifying, "one just like it is what went through my head, anyway."

Twilight checked her scroll to make sure it had caught his speech before using her magic to make a replica of the bit of metal onto the scroll under the paragraph. "Thank you, Jake. You said this was a, uhm, boullet?"

"Yeah, a bullet," he said. "Top's lead, bottom's brass, inside is black powder to send the lead through the air and..." He gestured at his head.

"Understood," Twilight said with a shiver, putting any possible thoughts connected to the bullet away for now. "As picked up by my magic, before and now, the subject is not only able to provide answers about his current state but willing to fill in details by himself. Cerebral impact does not seem to have hindered his intellect in any way, nor his normal bodily function. Lack of blood has seemingly not affected subject as well—"

"Uh, I'm a lot paler than usual," Jake pipped up. "I feel a bit cold as well, but that's distant."

"As the subject says," Twilight muttered to the scroll. "Jake, are you okay if I go ahead and try and heal this wound? I'm no neurosurgeon, but I can at least heal over the entry and exit wounds."

It took a few moments, but Jake eventually said, "Sure, Twilight. I don't know anything about magic, but I can see you do, so I'll trust you with whatever you like."

"Well, I don't want to mess with your brain. Especially when I don't know how it's different from our own, so I'll just seal up the skin and the bone after I make sure there isn't anything in there that could become infected."

"Do I got splinters in there?" he asked with a chuckle.

"I don't see any, but any sort of foreign particulate could result in an infection or worse, something like sepsis. Plus, it's your brain, and I don't know if some little thing could trigger something like a seizure or something similar."

Jake shrugged. "Again, Twilight, I trust you. Worst you could do is kill me, and I'm already knockin' on that door."

Twilight took a deep breath in before saying, "Alright, I'm starting. Hold very still, Jake."

She gave him a moment to settle before reaching out and lining the tunnel of the tear with her magic. Closing her eyes and concentrating, she felt around the field itself for anything harder than the soft tissue before gently grasping it and funneling it out.

Once she couldn't feel anything else, she looked down into her field and saw about a tablespoon of detritus, dirt, and some white flecks she felt were likely bone splinters.

Taking a moment, she filtered out the bones and set them aside before tossing the rest in her emergency vomit receptacle. Gently grasping the back flap of his scalp, she raised it and placed it as well as she could along the tear so that the only thing missing was a small circle. The bone fragments still on the scalp scraped a bit along one side, forming a gap near the hole.

"I'm going to fuse the remnants of your skull back together with the rest now. Since there's still some bone missing, I'm going to go ahead and stimulate the growth of the bone as well."

"Alright," he said placidly. "It gonna hurt?"

The question left her lost. "I, uh, I don't know Jake. I mean, you should be in a monumental amount of pain as it is, but as far as I can tell, you're fine. I really just don't know."

"Tha's fair," he said. "Whenever you're ready then."

Twilight took in a lungful of breath before leaning forward, breathing down along her chest as she closed her eyes and focused on the hard bits of bone under the flap of skin.

Jake let out a small breath as she infused the fragments with her magic before letting the field overflow and begin to form a lattice of her own magical power. With a little prompting, the bone grew out and fused along the cracks and into the skull before Twilight pushed to the other side and narrowed the hole in his skull to non-existence.

"Alright, Jake, I'm going to close the gap in your skin now," Twilight said.

Jake merely grunted, causing her to pause until he flapped a hand at her. "G'wone."

She took another breath and copied the previous forms, bridging the gaps and tears with a magical lattice before flowing her magic into the skin until its growth caused it to fuse nearly seamlessly together. Focusing again on the hole over nearly grown, gleaming white bone, she watched the muscle knit over the skull, followed by the layers that made up his skin, followed by surprisingly quick sprouting of hair.

Twilight stopped a couple of moments too late and superstitiously trimmed the excess hair until it was the same length as the rest, throwing the trimmings into her emergency wastebasket.

"How are you feeling so far, Jake?" Twilight asked, sighing and sagging a bit as the magic took its toll on her energy levels.

"Feels okay," he said, reaching back with a hand and pausing as he just felt hair. "Oh, you're done?"

"With the back," she said, hopping down as Jake pressed gently on the place where he'd had a hole moments ago. "You still have the one in your forehead, but I need some food first. Growing skin over a cut is one thing, but bone takes a lot more energy."

"Oh, yeah," Jake said, perking up a little. "Y'know, before now I hadn't been thinking about it, but now I'm feeling a little peckish as well." He frowned. "Actually, I don't know when the last time I ate was since there's the whole death thing that happened. I guess it's been a few days."

"Days!?" AJ chirped, perking up. "How long've you been in my orchard!?"

Chuckling, he waved his hand flatly through the air at her. "Calm down now, not that long. I walked through that dam— Uh, through that forest for a couple of days. Didn't reach the apple trees until a couple nights ago, aroun' midnight or so."

"Oh, uh, ah thought you'd popped up there," AJ said, scratching her head just beneath the back of her hat. "So, ya came through the Everfree?"

Jake shrugged. "If that's what ya call the giant forest to the south of where ya found me."

"We're sorta cupped by the Everfree. It's where our zap apples come from, after all," AJ said with a smile.

"As ya say," Jake said with a shrug. "I'm pretty sure I walked north, inta the orchards, but I sorta just picked a way and walked it." He frowned. "Don't remember much of that walk, honestly. Lots of trees and a couple of creeks an' streams, but other than that, I don't remember anythin'."

At that moment, a sandwich appeared in the door, floating through and over to Twilight. She took a bite and chewed for a moment before she saw the other three staring at her. "Uhm, 'id you 'als wan' some 'oo?" she asked through a mouthful of peanut butter and bread.

Jake stared for a moment before smirking. "I guess I'll wait until you're done with tha hole in the front," he said, gesturing at his forehead.

"Uh, sorry," she murmured before taking another bite and wiggling closer, concentrating. "Rea'y?"

"Sure," he chuckled, leaning towards her a bit.

Twilight devoured the sandwich even as she rebuilt the small hole in his skull, chewing and swallowing mechanically as she carefully built the lattice, followed by skull, followed by muscle, finished by skin.

"There we go!" she said brightly, smiling up as he carefully rubbed the new, unblemished skin. "No more holes where there shouldn't be!"

That got a chuckle out of Jake for some reason, but he just shook his head at her puzzled look. "Well then, Miss Sparkle, is there anything else you need of me before I—" He raised a thumb and gestured it over his shoulder at the bathroom.

"You should be good!" she said with a smile. "I think the girls and I are gonna get some brunch whenever you want to join. Just knock on the inside of your door, and I've enchanted it to ring a series of bells across the castle. I'll be here in moments to show you where the kitchens are."

"Sounds swell," Jake sighed, standing up and rubbing his skull absently. "I'll reconvene with ya after the bath, then."

Twilight nodded, and the three ponies walked out of the room and towards the kitchens.

"So, how long do you think—" Pinkie started, until a masculine voice called out behind them.

"Twilight?"

The three of them looked over their shoulders, seeing Jake's left half poking through the doorway, his button-up shirt mostly undone, and a white undershirt peeking through.

"Where should I fill this tub? And what do I do with the water after?"
> Something Talks
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

Twilight sighed as she relaxed onto one of her table's benches, letting her top half rest on the wood before her. "Whew. I'm glad I'm not a surgeon; that school of magic sure is taxing."

"It looked cool, though," Pinkie said, leaning over the plate in front of her towards a bowl of leafy salad greens. "I mean, did you see the way the bone just grew into a net, then filled in the holes over his brain!? Suuuuuuper cool."

Twilight chuckled. "Yeah, I saw it. And felt it."

AJ made a face and rubbed her forehead absently. "Ah thought this was lunchtime, not talkin'-about-brains time. Had enough of that back in biology class, much less this mornin', thank you."

Applejack grabbed a plateful of the salad after Pinkie passed it to her, reaching for the croutons and scooping a hoofful onto her plate. She groaned under her breath and slapped a hoof over her eyes when Pinkie stage-whispered to Twilight, "You think that hole in his brain is going to be a problem?"

Twilight looked at AJ, who shrugged and took an angry bite of her salad before she sighed. "Well, it's hard to say. Back in pre-unification times, ponies didn't really know a lot about how their bodies worked, which led to a lot of questionable medical practices.

"One was called trepanning, and it was the process of using a drill to create a hole in the skull to relieve pressure. Sometimes accidents happened where the drill went deeper into the brain, but depending on where the hole was being drilled, the pony could survive and even benefit from the process.

"Then there's the fact that some accidents have occurred where something like a pickax or a railroad spike has become embedded in a pony's skull and brain, and doctors are not only able to remove the foreign material and repair the skin, but it many cases the pony could return to work the next day as though nothing had happened."

"Ah don' think ah'd go back the day after catchin' a pick 'tween the ears," AJ muttered, grabbing another forkful of food and crunching on the croutons.

"Oh, me either," Twilight chuckled, before lifting her head off of her plate and replacing it with a helping of the salad, along with a half of a cucumber sandwich. "But some of them did, and they didn't really have any problems with it."

"Ah can say the same thing about my side," a masculine voice murmured from the doorway, making two of the mares jump in place as their gaze whipped towards the entry.

Jake stood slouched against the doorway, arms crossed in front of his chest. His hair had been carefully combed back and pulled into a ponytail by ribbon again, though it was shining in the light now instead of gleaming under a layer of grease. His facial hair was completely gone now, leaving a sharp jaw and slightly rounded chin displaying several small scars under his brown eyes.

His white button-up was replaced by a faded blue one, and the canvas trousers he had one were nearly a carbon copy of the pair he'd had on. The only reason Twilight knew they were different was that they weren't covered in mud.

He'd also seemingly left his boots behind as well and was padding around on bare feet, although his large belt with its metal bits was still buckled around his hips.

"Hi Jake," Twilight said, wiping the surprise from her muzzle. "I thought I was going to come to get you when you were done?"

"Ah, it's easy enough to track you ladies around," he said with a shrug before unfolding one of his hands and gesturing at one of the several empty places around the table. "Would ya mind if I...?"

"Oh, no, please!" she said with a wave of her hoof. "Feel free. Are you allergic to anything?"

"Ah don' know what that means," he chuckled as he strode over to the table on his long legs, sitting down a chair away from Pinkie and on the opposite side of Twilight.

"You ever get really sick or itchy after eating something, like strawberries or kiwis?" Pinkie asked, cocking her head over the empty seat at him.

"Not that ah kin remember," he said, looking over the salad and toppings along the table. "What'sa kiwi?"

Pinkie's eyes widened, and she grinned happily at the human as he took the greens bowl in one hand and used the spoon to scoop it onto the plate.

"You are gonna be so much fun," she said, making him blink before he narrowed his eyes to gaze at her out of the side of his eyes.

"...That's a little terrifyin'," he said before scooping a couple of croutons onto the plate.

"She's harmless," AJ promised with a faint smile at the earth pony. "Excitable, but harmless."

Jake murmured, "Take yer word on it," before lifting a bottle of dressing and sniffing it before daintily dressing the plate and putting it back.

They watched him pick up a fork, begin shoveling a massive amount of leaves onto it before he paused and slowly glanced around the table. Letting out a small breath, he let most of the salad fall off the fork before taking a small bite and wiping his lips with the back of his hand.

Twilight gave him an awkward smile, but AJ snorted and just shook her head.

"Just eat Jake, Twi's been known to inhale entire meals in moments, and Pinkie's eaten an entire cake in one bite. Ah sure don' care."

Blushing, Twilight nodded at Jake. "It's alright, Jake, eat as you'd like."

He raised an eyebrow at her, but when she just smiled back, he shrugged and began shoveling the food into his mouth as quickly as he could. In a few moments, he'd cleared his plate and was once again reaching for the bowl.

He paused when AJ chuckled. "Ah'll need ta get you next time the whole Apple Family gets together. Even with all of us comin' together, there's still usually some food that goes ta waste."

Jake started to reply before putting the back of his hand to his mouth and swallowing the food he'd just scooped in.

"I'd appreciate it, Miss Applejack," he said with a small smile. "Ah had the opportunity to eat from your trees, which ah'd like to pay you back for, and if your cookin' comes from them, ah'm sure every bite is better than the last."

AJ's face twisted between flattered and irritated before settling on bemused. "How many apples did'ja take?"

Screwing up his face, Jake thought for a moment before shrugging. "Aroun' five or six?"

"Oh," she said, her face relaxing. "That's alright, Jake, ah can lose five bits on an orchardful. Call it a free breakfast, if ya like."

It was Jake's turn to look uncomfortable, but he just nodded and took another bite of the salad in front of him. "If you're sure. Uhm, Miss Twilight, not to be ungrateful, but is there anything a bit more fillin' comin'?"

Looking surprised, she scratched an ear as she said, "Oh, uh, I was just thinking a light lunch, but if you like, I can get you a sandwich or something?"

He made a strained face. "Please. Somethin' about that magic and that bath has left me just abou' starvin'."

Twilight nodded and used her magic to summon a loaf of bread and a couple of spreads from her icebox, along with some fresh tomatoes and some full-leaf lettuce.

He nodded gratefully at her as she handed him a large serrated knife, and he began tearing into the food before him.

The mares watched in silent awe for a while before they shook themselves and looked at each other.

"So, uhm, I think my day's pretty full now," Twilight joked, smiling. "What about you girls? Did you want to stay around and learn from Jake as well?"

"Oh, my lunch break is probably over by now," Pinkie said, looking at a clock on the wall.

"Ah cleared my day to handle this," AJ said with a nod at Jake, "but ah'm not sure ah've got anythin' to talk with him about. Ah could prob'ly get on with mah usual chores now."

"Oh, alright," Twilight said, slumping slightly. "Well, if anything changes, I'll be here."

Pinkie gave her a quick, squishing hug before waving at Jake and disappearing out the door. AJ tipped her hat to Jake, who mimed back the action, before giving Twilight a squeeze of her own and sauntering out the door.

Twilight watched Jake tear through a thick tomato sandwich as she drank the last of the tea in the pot on the table before refilling it as he cut a chunk off of the loaf and began just eating it just as it was. Looking around himself, he reached over to Pinkie's spot and snagged her teacup. Twilight raised a hoof to stop him, but he downed the remains before she could say a single thing.

As soon as the syrup touched his tongue, Jake shuddered as his eyes screwed tight, his torso shivering as he instinctively swallowed.

"Holy hell," he rasped, shaking his head and shoving the cup away.

"Yeah, she usually adds enough sugar to make her drinks, uhm, edible," Twilight chuckled, refilling AJ's cup and offering it out to him. "Applejack likes hers plain, though."

Sipping carefully, Jake nodded at Twilight before blowing across the top of the tea and drinking half of the cup.

"So, you have questions fer me?" he asked, carefully placing his plate to the side.

Twilight's smile widened as she summoned two blank scrolls and a reservoir of ink. "I do if you feel up to answering them?"

"Well," he said slowly, drawing out the 'll', "you did just heal me, bathe me, and feed me. I owe you deeply for all'a those, so feel free to ask what you will."

Twilight's smile fell away into a shallow frown, and she slowly placed the scroll to the side to face him more fully. "Jake, I don't want to pressure you into talking with me just for doing something anypony else would have if they could." She shook her head. "I'm a scholar Jake, not an inquisitor. Don't—"

She paused as Jake slowly lifted a hand, tilted in between them with his palm down.

"Twilight, it's alright," he said with a tiny smile settling into the corners of his mouth. "Ah wasn' tryin' to say I feel like you're forcing me, I was tryin' to say ah'm grateful, an' I don't mind talkin' in exchange for what you've done for me."

Twilight's frown relaxed back into a shallow smile, and she nodded. "Okay, Jake, as long as you know you don't have to answer anything you don't want to. Or anything at all."

He nodded, leaning back on the bench and flinching as he over-leaned into a back that wasn't there.

Laughing softly, Twilight got up and waved her hoof for him to follow her. "There's a more comfortable place to have this conversation. Come on," she said, lifting the tea set with her magic and having it trail along behind her as she led him through the halls.

"Here we go," she said, opening a door with her magical field.

Jake looked in and whistled lightly as he saw the entry to shelves and shelves of books. More books in one place than he'd ever seen. He took a couple of careful steps in and gently ran a finger along a shelf's worth of literature. Pausing, he traced over a series of golden runes embossed on a blue jacket, delighting in the feel and shape of the letters.

Twilight jerked him out of his thoughts with a gentle, "Jake?" He shook his head and walked over to the table she was sitting at, taking his own high-backed chair.

"Sorry," he said with a faint smile. "Never seen so many books in one place, s'all."

"It's okay. Maybe later we can peruse them and find something that interests you?" she asked with a shallow smile.

"I can't read these, Twilight," Jake told her with a soft smile.

"Oh, different languages?" she asked, a bit surprised. "Sorry, I assumed that since we were speaking the same language that you could read ours. That's no big deal, though, I just need to see some of your letters, and I can craft a translation spell—"

"Twilight?" Jake said, raising a hand to hover towards her horizontally. "I can't read. Weren't taught to."

Twilight stared at him for a long while, ears and lips twitching before she landed on, "Oh."

Jake tapped the sides of his thumbs together for a moment, waiting out her thought process before he raised his hand in front of her muzzle and waved it. "Twi?"

"Huh?" she said, blinking rapidly before shaking her head. "Oh, sorry. Uhm, if you can't read, then how do you learn new things, Jake, or relax with something like an old favorite book?"

"Well, most 'a my learnin' wasn' done through a book," he said, scratching absently at the new skin on his forehead. "I was tol' what to do and I did it, then practiced until I coul' do it good. And any story I learned was tol' to me first. Relaxin' with a book, well..."

He shrugged. "Only book I've ever had wassa bible, and I buried it with a preacher who'd lost his. Figured he'd use it more than I coul'."

"Bible, from the word biblos, old equish for book," Twilight muttered, her eyebrows coming together above her muzzle. "Usually, a bible is a collection of stories or useful instructions. So," she said with a smile, "what was yours a bible of?"

Jake blinked absently for a moment before smirking. "Ah, it's what we called our holy book, our tales of 'religion'."

"Oh," Twilight said, blinking absently before pressing a hoof to her forehead with a sigh. "Listen, Jake; I really am sorry about what I said earlier. It's just—"

She let Jake cut her off with a waving of a hand. "Really, Twilight, i's alright," he said. "And it's true; there's an awful lot of violence that went around my world because of old books that old men tol' everyone were the words of God and gods, and each one was special an' better than every other old book's.

"But I'm secure in what I believe, and who'm I to go aroun' and tell a man what to believe? Some walking corpse with a hole in his skull," he chuckled. "Maybe I'll grow int'a it though when I turn into an old man an' know better than every old man."

"If you're sure, Jake," she said, a bit stiffly and definitely uncomfortably. When he smiled and nodded, she relaxed a bit and slowly said, "If you don't mind, could you tell me about it? Your religion?"

Jake shrugged, looking at her. "Sure, if you want to talk about it. What'cha want to know?"


***** ***** ***** ***** *****


"...And then you eat it?" Twilight asked, scratching furiously on yet another piece of parchment. The desk in front of her was full of loose pieces of scroll, many of them covered in ink, a select few with merely a sentence or two.

"Yup," Jake said, nodding. "An' we drink of the wine as well, representing the blood he shed to forgive us of our sins."

She paused before setting aside the large quill. "So, you eat the bread that represents his body, to show that you remember him, and you drink wine that represents... represents blood he shed to forgive you your sins?"

Jake nodded sagely. "Aye, the blood he shed to wash away the sins of our life."

"Which includes..." Twilight hunted around her notes for a moment before pulling out a scroll that was nearly black with ink. "Which includes being born?" she asked, looking wide-eyed at Jake.

"I think it's more about being conceived," he murmured, scratching his chin.

Twilight looked down at the lists and scrolls on the table before banishing all of them away. "Hey Jake, I think I could use some ice cream. You want some?"

He snapped his fingers, pointing at Twilight excitedly. "I know that one! I had some once, maybe ten years ago, a sweet strawberry kind."

Twilight sighed, smiling absently at his tone. "How about chocolate?"

She almost laughed as Jake's eyes widened, and he pushed out of his chair before frowning. "I ain't got money," he said, flopping back into the chair. "An' I don't feel right just takin' more from you," he said quickly, pointing a finger at Twilight when she opened her muzzle. "Already housin' and feedin' me and all."

She waited for him to finish before she said, "Jake, I've got some in my icebox right now. We don't have to spend anything on it; I already have it."

Jake's finger stayed trained on her, his face shifting a couple of times before his arm when slack, and he blushed a bit. "Ah," he murmured, tapping his fingers on his armrest. "Still, I'd be takin' it from you..."

Twilight let out a breathy laugh and stood up, walking towards the door and gesturing for Jake to follow. "Well, I'm going to have some then, and you can decide when we get to the kitchen."

She stopped at the doors to watch Jake look at her before sighing and standing to follow her. "So, what exactly is going to change my mind there?"

"The container," Twilight said smugly. "Spike buys the economy size."

Jake's face stayed blank. "Uh, who buys what?"

"Spike, my assistant?" Twilight said gently. "I mentioned him to you in the orchard; he's a dragon? You should meet him soon; he's out playing with the Cutie Mark Crusaders right now, but that usually ends up with a bath pretty quickly."

"Right, I forgot," Jake mumbled as they entered what seemed to be a room full of cupboards, with pans and pots hanging from the walls on racks. "He's not a sea dragon, just a fire-breathing one. But the second part, wha's 'Economy Sized' supposed to mean?"

"It means," Twilight said, using her magic to open a cabinet near her. Instead of finishing the sentence, she pulled out what looked to be a brown bucket made of paper and dropped all five gallons of it on a nearby countertop with a thud.

Jake looked at the bucket for a moment as Twilight pulled out a couple of shallow dishes and spoons, as well as a strangely shaped spoon with a lever on the side.

"Damn," he muttered before frowning and meeting Twilight's gaze. "Sorry, but..." He just gestured at the bucket before them.

She chuckled, shaking her head. "I get it, but thank you for the apology. This, Jake, is economy size," she said grandly, waving her hooves around the container. "Now, are you sure you don't want a couple of little scoops out of this twenty-pound bucket?"

Jake started laughing softly, nodding. "Alright then, I'm convinced. I s'ppose I can help lighten that burden a bit."

Popping the lid off, Twilight dug the scoop deeply into the perfectly soft chocolate cream before plopping it onto one of the two floating dishes. She raised an eyebrow when Jake held out a hand before digging out another scoop and placing it beside the first, and floating the dish over to him.

Frowning slightly, he sighed as he took the spoon out of the air and dug into the soft dome of iced cream, and ran it over the outside. Catching the curl with the shallow bowl of silver, he lifted it and placed it between his lips.

He stopped, blinking, the spoon handle poking out of his mouth as the chocolate melted on his tongue.

Turning the spoon over, he slowly pulled it out from between his lips before his head tilted back, his eyes turned up to the crystal ceiling.

"Holy hell," he mumbled, one of his hands cradling the chilling bowl while the other hung loosely at his side with the spoon held in the loosest of grips.

"Uh, Jake?" Twilight said, halfway into pulling her second scoop. "You alright?"

"I don't think so," he murmured, blinking and looking down at the ice cream. "Uh, so I've had chocolate before and ice cream, but..." He ran out of words, instead just gesturing limply with his spoon.

"Yeah, it's the real good stuff," Twilight said with a smile. "Our local cows make it with imported cocoa powder."

He chuckled. "Twilight, you jus' said that the cows make the iced cream."

Her eyebrows drew together, and she nodded. "Yeah, they do. I suppose they could have somecreature else make it, but that would mean paying them and getting them set up with machines. It's easier overall if they just make it themselves."

Jake looked down at the rich frozen cream, gazing into the dish for almost a minute as Twilight finished scooping her serving and started eating it.

"It's melting, Jake," she said, looking over at him and waving her spoon through the air at him.

He jumped a bit, watched her place another spoonful in her mouth before sighing shallowly and taking up another spoonful and shoving it into his mouth. Shivering again, he let the cream melt on his tongue again before shrugging and starting to properly dig into the iced cream.

They finished at about the same time, and he let Twilight's magic float the dishes over to the sink as he gave it a conflicted look.

"Alright, now, let's leave off with the questions for the rest of the day," Twilight sighed, smiling at him. "That was a nice break, but I still don't want to burn you out too quickly, and that last bit was... Well, it was a lot," she chuckled. "So, is there anything else you'd like to do today?"

"Well," he said slowly, shaking his head as he thought. "Ah'd like to practice with my six-gun, but before that ah'd like to make sure we can make more. Y'said you had some experience with being a chemist?"

"Oh, right, the powder!" Twilight said, nodding. "Sure, I can take a look. Is it okay for me to take one apart, though?"

He nodded after a moment. "Yeah, the chance's worth it, ah think."

"Okay then, follow me!" she said as she pranced out through the kitchen door and started leading him down a hallway.

After a short walk, she pushed open a door and led him into a clean room with white tables full of strange glass equipment. Grabbing two pairs of goggles off the wall, she led him over to a clear table and gathered up a few different instruments and a tray.

"Alright, Jake, let's take a look at the boo-luts," she said, slipping the goggles down over her eyes.

"Bullets," he said, pulling one off of his belt and holding it out. "The powder inside is the important part, but so is the primer," he said, turning the cartridge and showing Twilight the small circle in the bottom of the brass shell. "The hammer of my pistol strikes the primer, which sets fire to the power, which sends the lead out the barrel and into whatever's botherin' me at the moment."

He saw the look she gave him, and he shook his head. "No, I don't really use it on people botherin' me unless they're comin' at me with guns drawn."

She kept her uncertain look as she slowly nodded before taking the bullet.

"It shouldn't be too hard to pull the lead out," he said, pointing at where the metals changed. "It's loaded by pushing the two pieces together, so it ain't held in by nothin' but the brass."

Nodding, Twilight grabbed a pair of pliers and a clamp, arranging them on the table so that the bullet was still above the tray. Grabbing the top of the cartridge, she started pulling, ramping up her field's power until the brass gave and the lead popped out, a bit of fine black powder spilling onto the tray.

"The powder is a lil' sensitive," Jake said, pointing at the tray. "If you leave it out long enough in wet air, then it'll go useless, and once it gets wet, it can't be used anymore."

"Even if you dry it?" Twilight asked as she released the clamp and slowly dumped the rest of the powder out.

"Nah, the water does somethin' to it," Jake said with a shake of his head. "It's alrigh' to leave it out for a bit in dry air, but it'll go wrong if it gets even a lil' damp out."

"And it reacts with heat?" Twilight asked.

"Heat, fire," Jake replied, waving a hand at the powder. "You could set a bit of it off if you like; it's only real dangerous if it's somewhere tight or flammable. It'll catch all of it real quick, but it's as dangerous as a campfire as long as you're careful. Should prolly put it on another plate first, though."

Twilight pulled out another pan, scooped up a quarter of the powder with her magic, and placed it in a small mound on the second tray.

"Draw it out in a line," Jake murmured, tracing in the air with a finger. "Looks better," he replied to her inquisitive glance.

Snickering a little, she used her magic to draw it out into a thin line. "Better?"

"Yeah," he said with a nod before reaching into a pouch on his belt and pulling out a thin metal box, and popping the top off it. He withdrew a thin splinter with a red tip and a small sheet of strangely patterned paper.

"Oh, is that a match?" Twilight asked, looking closer at it. "It's pretty big, huh?"

He cocked his head. "Are yours smaller?"

Twilight opened a drawer across the room and pulled out a cardboard box that zoomed over to Jake. It opened itself, and a much thinner, shorter match lifted itself out.

"Huh," he muttered, looking it over and shrugging before putting his own back and replacing the box. "Alrigh' then, go ahead and light one end."

Twilight nodded and started to get closer before Jake put out his hand and gently tugged her back.

"It don't explode like dynamite does, but it does burn pretty big," he cautioned.

Nodding, she lit the match on the box and floated them apart, the box back to the drawer and the match to the second pan.

She gently touched the end of the lit match to the line of powder before flinching as the entire line went up with a flash and a hiss before turning into gray ash.

"Oh, it's like a firework!" she said, perking up.

"Oh," Jake said, perking up and looking down at her. "Ya'll have fireworks?"

"Yup! Small ones all year, but we break out the big ones for events and Hearth's Warming and New Year! So this powder is made of the same stuff as fireworks powder?"

Jake shrugged. "I don't know if it's the exact same stuff, but ah've heard it's made from the same base stuff."

Twilight hummed as she jumped up onto a stool and pulled a book off of a shelf, hovering it next to the desk and flipping through it with her magic. "I think I've got the basic formula here... Ah, this one is potassium nitrate, charcoal, and sulfur. Does that sound right?" she asked, looking up at the man peering at the black squiggles of ink.

"Ah don't know the first one, but the other two soun' right."

Twilight nodded and closed the book, setting it down nearby as she floated over a microscope. Placing it carefully on the table, she began picking up a myriad of items in her field, including a bottle of clear liquid with a stopper in it and a thin, tall tube.

Placing a couple of particles of the powder in the tube, she then uncorked the clear liquid and used a dropper to transfer two drops into the tube before she began swirling it.

"Wassat?" Jake asked, eyeing the bottle as it was recorked and put away.

"Distilled water," she murmured, taking out two small planes of glass and pouring the fluid onto one, and placing the other onto it. "If there is potassium nitrate, then it'll show up as a particular crystal under the microscope."

"Oh," Jake said before sighing.

Twilight giggled. "It's alright, Jake; I'm not going to look down on you for not knowing about the latest scientific processes in a completely different world than yours."

"Still feel like a child, an idiot," he murmured darkly before gesturing at the glass. "What's your thing say?"

Turning on the magical light, Twilight looked into the top of the eyepiece that jutted from the top of the device and turned a knob on the side. "There it is," she said quietly before floating over another reference book. "Yeah, it's potassium nitrate. So you could probably use our fireworks powder in place of your 'black powder' if you wanted to.

"Although," she murmured, returning to the first book, "I think you'd need to grind it a little finer to match your powder."

"Ah, good," Jake said with a nod. "Uh, what about the primer, the cap in the bottom?"

Twilight nodded and cleared her table of gear before lifting the brass shell and looking at the cap.

"If you look in the other end, ya can poke it out," Jake said, twirling his finger.

Twilight pulled out a long thin metal pick and proceeded to do just that. Placing the shell to the side after a quick look, she then leaned over and used a small field of magic to magnify it.

"Okay," she said out loud, "it looks like the cap is mostly made out of copper, and there's more of the same metal here in the shape of a round Y."

Using the metal pick, she carefully pried the inside metal out and looked at the white powder inside.

"Any clues, Jake?"

"Not on this one, ma'am," he said. "They were easy enough to buy on their own, so I never had to make one."

"You made your own fireworks powder?" she asked, gently scraping at the powder before it let out a massive crack and a flash that made her head whip away so hard that she fell off her stool.

"Holy hell," Jake half-laughed, leaning over to help Twilight up. "I always thought the noise came from the powder, but it sounds like some of it comes from the primer."

"They always sound like that!?" Twilight asked, hair and eyes wild with her ears folded back. "That was like, like, like when a firework shell accidentally went off on the ground back in Canterlot!"

"Yeah, they're all loud," Jake said, righting her and dusting her back off. "I would'a told ya, but I didn't know it was that loud. Or trigger-happy."

Shaking her head, Twilight slowly got back on her stool, rubbing her ears as she looked over the metal cap that was now distorted and blackened. "Uh, can I have another, Jake?"

Chuckling, he pulled another bullet and held it out. "I only have these and a single box, so careful, please?"

"It's okay, Jake," Twilight said, taking it and beginning to pull the lead out again, "even if we don't have the exact chemical, I think we can find one that works. It's pretty obvious this stuff is fairly volatile, so I could probably cobble something together from a firework formula if we had to."

The lead came out, and she placed it carefully to the side with the other before pouring the powder into its own pile and more carefully removing the cap from the base of the shell.

Grabbing the water and another test tube, Twilight placed the cap in the tube before pouring several drops of water over it and gently swirling it around.

Getting some of the water loaded on a fresh microscope slide, Twilight hummed to herself as she flipped through the same book she had earlier. After a much longer look through the reference, she made a small noise before checking the eyepiece again.

"It looks like a specific preparation of mercury, mercury fulminate. It's very volatile, although not as much a silver fulminate, and is used in blasting caps for mining projects and—" Twilight chuckled. "It's also used in a popular firework, the paper noisemaker. It's combined with gravel or sand, then wrapped in thin paper."

Jake chuckled. "So, sounds like we can make more of them fairly easily. You want to see them in action?" he asked, placing a hand on the leather bag on the same belt. "I'm no trick shot, but I've got a dead-eye when it comes to firin'."

"Dead eye?" Twilight asked, gulping as she looked into his dark brown irises.

Jake chuckled and nodded. "Turn of phrase that means my shots are good. 'Dead-on', right?"

"Oh, sure," she said, sighing lightly when he looked down at his belt to fiddle with the ties on the bag. "Uhm, what do we need?"

"Some targets would be nice," Jake murmured, finishing whatever he was doing and looking back at her. "If you've got some broken or empty jars or cans, they're the usual, but if you don't, I can bring a hatchet and make my own from a tree. Speakin' of, we should head away from town for the demonstration; the lead can travel far sometimes, and I've seen idiots shoot up their own town a couple times."

With a shiver, Twilight nodded. "White Tail Woods it is, then."

Jake nodded before flicking a hand down at his feet. "Lemme get my boots on, and then it'll be your lead, Twilight."
> Something Shows Off
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

Jake looked around the forest before speaking up. "Hey Twilight, who owns this fence and land?"

"Oh," she said, stopping her pace and turning around to look at Jake and the fence. "Uhm, I don't think anyone owns this stretch anymore. The Mayor maintains the fence as a marker for the west entrance of town. Why?"

"It'sa good prop," he said, walking over to it and thumping the top rail and nodding to himself. "Here, lemme see those cans you brought."

She floated over a sack full of empty food cans, and he started pulling them out and lining the top rail. A slight breeze sent one rocking, but Jake put a stone in the bottom of it to keep it steady. After he'd placed four on the top rail, he placed another five on the middle before nodding and walking to the other side of the road.

Twilight watched him walk deeper into the woods before he paused and gestured at her. "Here, you don't want to be close to the targets."

"Oh, sure," she said, trotting to catch up with him. "Why?"

He chuckled. "Never know when my aim will falter, or a piece of lead decides to ricochet off something. The targets don' care about the holes, but you might."

"Ah," she said, paling. "And then..."

Jake chuckled again, pointing at the new skin over his temple. "Ayuh, and then."

He paused, looking back at the fence and muttering to himself. "How far y'think we are?" he asked Twilight.

Her horn lighting up, she replied, "Three-hundred and ninety-nine hooves," she replied.

She smiled up as he looked down at her. "Uh-huh," he muttered, turning back to glare at the fence as though it'd wronged him, personally. "H'many yards d'ya think a 'hoof' is?"

"One hoof is equal to point three yards," she said instantly, "so three-hundred and ninety-nine would be forty-four point three repeating yards."

He looked down at her again. "What in the hell is a repeating yard?"

"Oh, the yard doesn't repeat, the point three does," she told him. Looking as his face transformed around several different emotions, she shook her head. "It's about forty-four yards."

"Mmm," he said, his face clearing as he nodded. Facing the fence, he took six large steps back. "Alright then, this should be good."

Twilight waited for a moment before asking, "Any significance to fifty yards?"

Jake gestured towards the fence with a free hand, the other pulling up the top of the leather bag on his hip. "How well can y'see the cans?"

Squinting, she shrugged. "I can see them alright. I can't read the labels, but I can still see the colors of the peas," she said, pointing at one of the cans on the middle railing. "I'm pretty sure that one's corn...?"

"Alright," Jake said, nodding as he finally untied a piece of cord and pulled the contents of the bag out. "Now, what if I told you I could knock each of those cans off the fence?"

"Well, sure," Twilight said, her eyes flickering away from the fence for a moment before snapping back to the cans. "I mean, a caster could as well, as long as they were trained for ranged applications and had a talent for throwing spells like that."

"Ah," Jake said, a bit sadly. "I was afraid of that. I guess it wouldn't be magic if a mortal man could compete with it, huh?"

Twilight finally allowed herself to look away from the fence and at the... instrument? At the thing Jake was holding. "Is that the... the gun? The same kind that put a-a hole in your head?"

"Nah, that was a rifle," he said, carefully looking over the implement. "Longer range. Uh, better for shooting farther, I guess, since these can go pretty far on a plain." He shook his head. "I've got a Whitworth I stole back in my bedroll, but I need some range for that."

"More than fifty yards?" Twilight asked, moving slightly closer to get a better look at the device.

"Around two thousand," he said, seeing her gaze and flipping the gun around his fingers and brandishing its profile. "Here, just don't try and do anythin' with the trigger, here," he said with a point, "and look to your liking."

"Oh, thank you—" Twilight started before pausing and looking up at him. "Two thousand yards!? Stole!?"

"If you're a good shot, yeah," he said, chuckling. "Ya gotta be able to aim reliably, but I've heard stories of shooters sitting up in trees a mile away getting reliable shots. Plus, you gotta reload the shot through the barrel."

Twilight's ears flicked. "And the stolen part?"

Jake shrugged. "I mean, is it really stolen if the corpse is already cold?"

Twilight's ears flicked back at that. "Jake, are you saying you killed someone for their weapon?"

"Not at all, Twilight," he said, waving his hand through the air as she breathed out with relief. "I killed him because he was trying to kill me."

Twilight looked up at him. "You know that's not better, right? You still killed someone..."

"He shot first," Jake said with a shrug. "Know, you wanna see this or not?" he asked with a twirl of the gun in his hand.

Twilight looked at him for a long few moments. "I don't know anymore," she said. "The way you talked before, it sounded like these were a tool for defense or something like that, but now... Now it sounds like a machine made for death," she whispered.

Jake gave her a hard look. After over a minute, he leaned down and replied, "I don't feel much safer than when my enemies 're layin' at my feet, Twilight."

She met his hard gaze and surprised him when her own eyes sharpened.

"We're going to have to talk about that, Jake, and about your old life," she told him, taking a step as she emphasized her words.

He looked down at her, at the steel of her gaze, and cracked a smile.

"Yes, ma'am," he said, nodding. Straightening his back, he once again offered the weapon's profile. "Now, while your layman might have had one of these for defending his property from robbers and cheats, some people like me sold their services for additional security during travel, and others sell tickets in circuses and trick-shot shows, like Bill Cody's tryin' to do up north."

Twilight frowned as she looked over the wood and metal device he was showing her. "Is a trick shot something like hitting someone with a bullet and not killing them?"

Jake sighed, slumping a little. "No, Twilight, though that is a helluva trick. It's something like tossin' a coin in the air and shootin' the middle outta it or hitting a small target while gallopin' on a horse."

"On?"

"Yeah. See, horses back home didn' talk like you do, so we kept them and rode on them, had them pull wagons and things like that." He scratched the back of his head. "A lot are basically pets too."

"Hrmm," Twilight hummed with a frown before looking at the gun again. "What's this hinge in the middle for?"

Instead of answering, Jake used a thumb to lift a piece on top of the gun and swing half of it down, with a strangely shaped piece of metal rising from the six holes that now showed.

"That's how you load it and unload the spent shells," he said, taking one of the bullets from his belt. Pushing it further down, there was a snapping sound as the piece of metal withdrew towards the holes, and then Jake showed her how the bullet fit into one of the holes. Closing it, he then opened it again, showing her how the piece in the center lifted the bullet.

"And how do you use it?" she asked, moving yet closer to the machine.

"Well, you put your bullets in," Jake said, grabbing five more shots of lead from his belt and quickly feeding them in. "Close her up, pull the hammer back," he said, swinging the top half back with a click before pointing at a strange metal part on the back of the gun, "and then you're set to pull the trigger."

"...That's it?" she asked after a moment, looking up at Jake. "That's all it takes to kill creatures in your world?"

Jake let his hands fall to his sides. "Does it take much more here, then?" he asked quietly. "You have knives; I've seen them in your kitchen. Does your world have swords, Twilight? Is a pony that much harder to kill than a man, that you need more than a blade in the right part?"

"That—!" she started to argue before fuming quietly. "There's finesse required to wield a sword. You can just point this at something and kill it with—"

"Alright then," he said, flipping the gun and holding the wood out to her. "Do it," he said, pointing at the fence with his other hand. "I'll bet you can't hit a single can. Hell, I bet you can't even hit the fence."

She flinched back, frowning up at him, but after a moment, he saw her field surround the handle of the gun, and he let it go.

Twilight frowned as he stepped to the side, and she just concentrated on holding the machine in her field. "It stinks," she complained after a moment.

Surprised, Jake let out a snort and chuckled. "Oil keeps it all working without seizing up, and the powder leaves behind a smell. Like a firework."

Twilight muttered under her breath before looking towards the fence and bringing the gun to bear on the cans. Jake started to move forward and point, but Twilight had already seen the missing sliver on the lever as well as the piece of metal on the barrel.

"Line them up?"

Jake's hand dropped, and he nodded, before squatting beside her, their shoulders lining up.

"Put the front post between the back sights, try and level her off, then pull the trigger," he instructed. "Don't close your eye; it fucks with your vision. And don't forget the sound."

"Language, Jake," she murmured, doing as he instructed and pushing her field out a little more in front of her to get the sights in focus. Angling the gun, she pointed directly down at the old can that had held peas. Taking a breath...

She pulled the trigger.

There was a roar, like dragon-fire mixed with the largest firework ever made, then a meaty thwack right in front of her muzzle. She couldn't quite see what had made the noise, as her body's first instinct had been to clamp her eyes shut and cover her ears with her hooves.

After a moment, she opened her eyes to see the back of Jake's hand nearly touching her nose, the gun barrel pointing straight into the sky as he gripped it tightly.

She heard some muffled speech beside her and turned her head to see Jake smiling down at her.

"Uhm, what?" she asked, pulling her hooves away from her ringing ears. She watched him say something before shaking her head. "Ugh, give me a second, Jake; my ears won't stop ringing."

She watched as his head tipped back, his chest heaving as he was either screaming some short words to the skies or laughing uproariously at her, and she had a pretty good feeling that he wasn't having a religious experience.

"Yeah yeah, laugh it up," she muttered, rubbing her ears until the ringing started to fade. "Is it always that loud?"

"It is," he confirmed loudly. It still felt as though he was talking through a foot of foam, but she could at least understand him now. "I was sayin' earlier, that was a pretty good first shot. You only almost took off your horn, and the gun didn't twist to either side, so all an' all a good first shot."

"Why'd it almost hit me in the face?" she asked, working her jaw afterward to try and flex some hearing back into her head.

"Things kick like a mule," he said with a shrug. "If you're not ready, it'll either buck you straight back into the ground, or you'll lose grip and it'll hit ya in the face." He smirked down at her. "Still think any creature coul' use one of these?"

"Maybe not without a concussion," she mumbled before looking at the fence. "Why's the can still there? Did the bullet not hit it hard enough?"

Jake snorted before walking forward, gesturing at her to follow.

They hadn't even reached the fence when Jake stopped them, pointing up into the loose canopy. "See that branch, righ' there?"

Twilight looked, narrowing her eyes. There was a thin stem near the end of a long branch, leaking sap from a new break. "Yeah?" Twilight asked, looking at it before returning her gaze to Jake. "Wait, are you saying—?"

"Yuh," he said, nodding. "That's where your shot went. That's why we're facing outta town too. 'Magine one of those flying ponies were passing overhead at the wrong time."

Twilight paled and shivered.

"Now, you ready to watch?" he asked, turning and walking back to where they'd been.

Trotting to catch up with him, she nodded and said, "Sure, Jake. But I already know what the gun does now, mostly, so I guess it's just to see how you use it now."

Jake nodded, turning around as he made it to their old stand. Taking a deep breath, he shook his arms lightly and stared down towards the fence, with the same nine cans sitting there. Gently placing the gun back in its holster, Jake glanced at Twilight and murmured, "You might wanna block your ears."

"Right," she said, her horn lighting as a pair of domed shields popped into existence over her ears. She returned Jake's look and frowned at his smirk. "I know, but it'll stop all noise. So, whenever you're ready."

He nodded before letting out a breath and relaxing his shoulders.

He opened his eyes, gazing hard down the lane between trees they'd found, but hesitated with a glance at her. He raised a pair of fingers to his eyes and gestured at the fence.

"No, I want to see how you work. I'll look at the cans later."

He nodded before dropping his left hand back over the gun. Raising his right hand slightly so that Twilight could see it, he folded down his thumb and pinkie, then his ring finger, his middle, and then—

As the last finger folded down, Twilight felt her eyes focus on his left hand as the last finger folded down before it disappeared.

After a fourth of a second, her eyes snapped to a rising motion in front of him, and she saw his thumb already coming back to rest on the handle. It was quickly covered by his right hand, the tips of his fingers coming to hover just over the hammer.

She watched the gun buck slightly in his hand five times, each time the fingertips of his other hand flicking the hammer back down to facilitate the next shot.

At the last pull of the trigger, his thumb flicked back up, the fingernail catching the latch on top of the gun. With a hard flick of his wrist, the top half flew down and the glittering brass shells flew into the air.

Before the shells could start their descent, his other hand was already up and feeding new projectiles into the holes. With a harsh jerk, the gun was reassembled, and once again his fingertips were flicking the hammer down. Four more bucks of the hand, and all movement ceased.

Twilight blinked, her ears flicking in their domes before she dispelled the shields.

"Jake, you don't have to show off how quick it can fire," she said, looking up at him as he slowly broke open the gun again and withdrew the four spent casings. "I also need to know the accuracy, so let's try again and this time—"

"Twilight," he said quietly before he nodded to the fence.

"There's no—" she started to say before her head completed the movement. She stopped talking as she took in the fence, now completely emptied of its load of cans.

She stared for a moment, eyes searching the rails and looking for a hint of metal, before she turned back and just said, "No."

"No?" he asked, leaning over and picking up the six spent shells he'd ejected earlier.

"No," she said, shaking her head. "I've seen war casters in training, and even when they cast area spells, they couldn't hit ten targets in three seconds. Not accurately. You must have hit the rails or something, jostled the cans off."

Jake didn't say anything, merely replacing the gun in its bag before walking towards the fence.

Twilight looked harder at the fence before running to pass him, slowing as she neared the unmarred wood. "Jake, you really don't understand..."

He passed her, placing a hand on the fence and jumping over it in one smooth motion. Taking another few steps, he began picking up cans, carrying them by placing a single finger into the top and pinching them together. Once he'd ran out of fingers, he walked back to the fence and started placing all of them on the top rail.

Twilight looked at each can, all of them with a puckering hole in them. The holes wandered, and one looked like it had only clipped the can, but most of them were near the center.

Picking up a can in her magic, she floated it over and looked at the back, where a much rougher hole had punched through and continued through the can.

"Now, them trick shooters can do better," Jake said, waving a finger towards the can that had only been clipped. "I've seen one man juggle a can in the air. That said, I'm not much of one for showboating. Get it done."

"You could do this again?" Twilight asked, grabbing all of the cans and looking at the holes in them.

"As many times as I have bullets," he said.

Twilight nodded. "Alright, then I'm going to put these back up," she said, doing so. "This time, I'm going to do some measurements down here. Things like force, speed, and other variables."

Jake frowned at her. "It's not safe for you to be downrange."

Twilight waved a hoof down the road. "I won't need to be right next to them; I can be, uhm, twenty-five yards away."

His frown lightened, and he slowly nodded. "Alright. You want me in the same place?"

"Yes," she said, casting her field over the cans and fence. "As close as you can get. I'll call out when I'm ready. Will this shine affect your shots?"

He chuckled. "Jus' makes it so I can see them better," he said before turning and walking back into the trees.

Twilight huffed to herself, finishing casting her measurement spells. Pausing for a moment, she cast an additional barrier twenty hooves in front of the fence to measure how much the bullets altered course over that distance.

Taking herself down the road, Twilight summoned some paper and a quill before casting her shields over her ears again. Boosting her voice, she called out, "Okay, Jake, whenever you're ready!"

Focusing her spell, she had a couple of seconds before the first six shots connected, the spell automatically feeding statistics and numbers through the quill onto the paper. Moments later, the last three cans were once again flipping into the air.

Muttering to herself, Twilight looked over the sheet as Jake walked back out. "Jake, these numbers make no sense," she said, looking over the sheet as he collected the cans again. "The speed alone is insane; I can't accurately calculate the force because it just tops over the spell, and there's next to no deviance in twenty hooves!"

Jake looked at her, deadpan. "Twilight, I could've told yuh that they're fast and hit hard."

Twilight stood there and flapped the paper at him, moving her mouth soundlessly.

Before she could gather her words, a blue blur flew through the sky before diving towards the ground. With a last-minute flare of her wings, Rainbow Dash dropped heavily to the dirt road with a small plume of dust.

"Hey!" she half-yelled, looking around the empty lane. "Are you messing with lightning over here? You know you gotta clear that first, so I can let my crew know!"

Twilight shook her head. "No, no lightning, we're just breaking every known record for projectiles!" she yelled back, flapping the paper in Rainbow's face.

Flinching a little, Rainbow grabbed the paper out of the air and glanced at it. "Twi, there's no way this paper means anything; it's all numbers and squiggles. Even the letters look weird, and they don't spell anything."

Twilight snatched the page back. "Those are Ancient Ponethinian, and they stand for formulas and constants in the world," she snipped back before looking over the page again. "And regardless of how many times I double-check the spell's math, all of the numbers are theoretically correct."

Dash blinked a couple of times. "Which is the best kind of correct?"

"No, that's 'technically'," Twilight said distantly.

"Uh, Twilight?" Jake said. "If you want me to shoot these any more, we'll need to replace two of them."

Twilight glanced over at the two cans Jake was holding out and snorted. One of them was nearly bisected by a glancing blow that cut across the previous hole, and the other was the one that had been winged the first time. Half of it was torn from the rest of the can, creating a large flap of thin metal.

"Holy horseapples, you did that?"

Jake nodded, and she whistled. "I'd heard AJ and Twilight had found something weird on the farm. Didn't know it was a hairless Minotaur, though." She leaned a little closer to Jake and frowned. "You yell everything you say, too?"

"No, ma'am," he replied, shaking his head.

"Good," she said back, nodding. "It's rude."

"Look who's talking," Twilight muttered harshly under her breath, and Jake had to stifle a chuckled at the new pony's face.

Twilight glances at Dash's wide eyes and pursed lips before letting a sigh out.

"Sorry, Rainbow," she said, scratching at an ear. "I guess I was just expecting something like a fireworks show, but this is a legitimate, life-threatening weapon, and I'm still processing it."

Rainbow's faced relaxed, and she gave Twilight a smirk. "It's alright Egghead; you just surprised me. You've been hanging out with drunk Trixie too much."

"Any amount is too much," she giggled before her ear twitched, and she looked over at Jake.

She watched him mouth something, his eyebrows coming together over his nose as he looked at her.

"Jake?" she asked.

He shook his head lightly, looking at her before a mesh of sounds dropped from between his teeth, an unintelligible question formed and dropped.

Then a trickle of blood welled in the corner of his mouth, and his eyes rolled up.

"Jake!?" she asked again, her shoulders tensing as he began harshly jittering and jerking where he was standing.

She watched him lift an arm, jerking back and forth with some invisible force, and gently touch his temple before falling over backward.
> Something is Diagnosed
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

Jake awoke and instantly regretted it.

He let the world know it, too, with a quiet curse and a less quiet groan that clawed at his dry throat.

Fluttering his eyes, he heard a soft sound beside him before cold glass touched his bottom lip. Opening his mouth, he was rewarded with cool water trickling over his tongue.

The water was pulled away too soon, and he grunted as he tried to reach for it. His arm felt heavy and sore like he'd been moving bales of hay for the last week nonstop, and he let it flop back onto the soft textile he found himself immersed in.

"Did ah die again?" he asked and heard a hollow chuckle in response.

"No, Jake, you're as alive as I've ever seen you."

Blinking, he turned his head and saw a splotch of purple in the middle of a blank whiteness. Reaching up and rubbing his eyes, he eventually was able to focus on Twilight, standing beside him in the cleanest room he'd ever been in.

"Ah'd say that's nice, but it don't feel that good, to be honest," he said with a chuckle. "Where are we?"

"You're in the Ponyville hospital," she replied quietly. "We brought you—"

Jake sat upright, his eyes wide before they slammed shut, his hand coming up to cup his face as he groaned. "I ain't dyin' in no cesspool of a hospital," he grunted, ignoring her protests as he swung a leg out from beneath the blankets. A wave of dizziness made his vision swim, and he tried to gulp down a gag deep in his throat before a steel can floated into his sight.

Unloading the water into the bucket, he dry-heaved for a few moments before collapsing back onto the bed, the energy entirely spent.

"Jake," Twilight said, reproachful but still soft, worry deeply coloring her tone. "Jake, the hospital is one of the cleanest places I've ever been in, and you're hurt. Badly. You need to be here right now."

He lay there panting, trying to come up with words for the horrors he'd seen in hospitals, or worse, field tents, but as his eyes took in the stark white ceiling and walls, he remembered that he wasn't at home and forced his pulse to slow.

Pulling his leg back up slowly, he laid his arm across his chest and realized that the meeting was flesh on flesh.

"Ah'm naked," he stated, mainly to have something to say.

"We wanted to be sure that you were uninjured, at least on the outside," Twilight said, and as he glanced over, he saw her face was cherry red. "We, uh, didn't know that you didn't come with a sheath," she murmured, looking away. "It was the first..." she trailed off.

Jake watched her for a long moment before bursting into deep chuckles, his hand coming up to clutch at his throbbing head that pulsed with each unstoppable laugh.

"Sorry for taking that innocence from ya, Twilight," he said through the chuckles, the laughter ramping up along with her blush.

"I mean, I've seen them in books!" she protested, a slight bit too loudly for Jake. "Just never...!"

"In the flesh?" he finished for her before the chuckling took over his breath again.

Growling, she stomped her hoof. "Jake, this isn't the time! You had a seizure out there! A full-blown grand mal seizure!"

Still chuckling, he shook his head. "Sorry Princess, ah dunno what that means," he giggled.

"Convulsions! Fits, epilepsy!" she yelled, her eyes glistening.

He stopped chuckling, slowly coming down until he was just breathing hard, staring up at the ceiling tiles. "Ah," he eventually said, nodding. "Ah've heard'a epilepsy."

"Then you know this is serious! That hole in your brain is giving you convulsions, and if we don't do something about it—"

He let her trail off. Glancing over at her, he saw her fully in tears now.

"Then ah die?"

She sighed, rubbing her eyes with a hoof. "Maybe?" she croaked, swallowing before shaking her head. "I don't know, Jake. We don't have a lot of ponies walk away from accidents like yours."

He snorted softly. "Twilight, ah've already died," he reminded her quietly. "If it happens again... Well, that'd be nature correcting i'sself, wouldn't it?"

She sniffled. "You're talking to the wrong pony about that, Jake. You'd need Applejack or Fluttershy."

He sighed before slowly moving his arms down. Pressing his hands to the mattress, he moved himself up so that he was propped up against the headboard before sighing heavily and cupping his eyes again. "Twilight, it ain't like we've known each other years and years," he said softly. "If ah die, then ah die, and you can move on without having to worry about a murderer in town."

He heard her sharp inhale, imagined her flinch.

"That's not how I think of you," she whipped out.

"Ah had a fit, Twilight, didn't lose mah memory," he sighed. "Ah saw the way you was lookin' at me out there. Ah know that suspicion. You may have forgot it already, but ah remember."

"Jake," she started to say, but he cut her off with a wave of his hand and a few quiet words.

"Cause ah am, Twilight."

She stilled, and he ran a hand down his face.

After a minute of silence, Jake continued. "Ah'm not col' blooded about it, not goin' round and shootin' people for the fun of it," he murmured, looking down into his hands laying upright in his lap. "But that don' stop the fact of the matter, does it? Ah've killed before Twilight, and Ah can see the damnation in your eyes even now.

"Ah remember it well," he said darkly, frowning at his scarred hands. "Wouldn't be the first time a lady looked at me like that, huh?"

There was no sound for a couple minutes, and Jake closed his eyes and slumped back into his pillow, waiting for the scraping of a chair, the opening of a door. For her to leave and him to be alone again.

"I don't think you're a bad human, Jake."

He looked over at her and took in her gaze. She was looking at him softly and full of concern. "I've been known to make snap judgments of ponies. Sometimes I'm right, and a lot of the time, I don't see everything right away.

"But I've seen enough to know something Jake," she said, quickly and almost violently, as she hopped off the chair she was on and pressed her hooves into the bed beside him.

"I know that monsters and bad ponies don't ever call themselves bad, and most of them don't even think of their crimes, much less feel guilty about them. You may have killed before, but..."

She broke, looking away from him before shaking her head and looking directly into his gaze.

"You're not the first creature I've ever met to do so. Hay, you wouldn't even be the first time I called one of them friend. So...

"So if you can admit to this, then I think I can at least hear you out about it," she finished, her hind legs folding as she sat on the floor. "I can withhold judgment until the end."

He looked down at her before slowly lifting one of his hands. She looked at him strangely as he hovered it over her head, hesitating for a long moment before placing his palm between her ears and rubbing back and forth, messing her mane.

Surprised, she looked up at him before laying her ears flat and pressing up into the motion.

He chuckled before gently using his fingertips to scratch the base of one of her ears before flopping his arm back beside him.

Twilight's ears flicked a few times, her mouth starting to speak once before she said, "Thank you?"

He laughed, placing a hand on his chest and coughing once or twice between the fits.

"Yer welcome," he chuckled before pressing down on his breastbone. Raising the sheets, he glanced around. "Uh, what'd you do with the cross?"

"Cross?" she asked, glancing at his neck. "Oh, the necklace? It's with your clothes, over in that box," she said, pointing at a brown paper box in a chair on his other side. "We didn't know how the metal would react with our diagnostic spells, so we took it off. Is that okay?" she asked, eyebrows furrowing as she gently pressed her hoof into his side.

"Yeah, as long as i's still there," he said, glancing towards the box. "It's another religious thing, but Ah mostly don' wanna lose it 'cause Ah got it from my ma."

"You worship the letter 'T'?" she asked, ears perking as her eyes widened.

"No, ma'am," he chuckled. "You remember me tellin' you about that man that died for all'a us? Well, t'kill 'im, they nailed him to a cross and set 'im up on it until he died."

She looked at him for a while, and he spread his arms in facsimile after a moment.

"That's terrifying," she told him, and he chuckled and nodded.

There was a moment, and then her ears laid back as she glanced up at him with a sad smile. "We got off track, but I didn't forget Jake."

"'Course ya didn't," he sighed before closing his eyes and using his hands to lower himself in the bed so that his shoulders and head were on the pillow. "What d'ya want first?"

Twilight bit her lip before asking, "How many?"

"Four."

She slowly nodded, then looked at him.

"First was your typical dumb bar fight," he said after a moment. The words came slowly, with a lot of thought. "I'd just gotten my first piece, my first pistol. He and one of my friends got into a fight, Ah think it was over cards or somethin', and he shot my friend in the leg. Ah didn't know at the time it was a non-killin' shot, so Ah aimed at his head. Even then, Ah was a pretty sure shot.

"Spent some time in prison for that one until they ruled it self-defense an' tossed me out. By that time, mah friend had been sent to a bigger hospital on a train. Ah didn't have any money, as it tended to disappear if ya spent any time behind bars.

"With my talents, Ah was able to get on with a watchman group that provided manpower for local businesses and the like. Ah spent years doin' that, gettin' in couple'a shoot-outs but just wingin' people."

He sighed and opened his eyes, glancing over at the single side table. "Can Ah get that filled?" he asked, pointing at the empty glass.

She blinked, glancing at it before her horn lit up. A tiny dark hole opened in the air above it, and a stream of clear water flowed into it before it was floated over to him.

He raised an eyebrow before taking the glass. Giving the water a sniff, he took a sip before holding it back out into the air.

"Second one was an accident," he continued, closing his eyes again and laying his arm across his chest. "Just another punk, stealing from one of ours. When I popped out'a the shadows at him, he near shit himself. I was aiming at his knee when he shot me in the shoulder." He paused, looking at the skin and pointing at a puckering scar just over his armpit.

"It was enough to pull up the shot I was aimin' at his knee, and he caught the bullet between his eyes."

Jake opened his eyes, frowning up at the ceiling, lost in thought, until Twilight cleared her throat. He looked at her before relaxing his neck and returning his eyes to the ceiling.

"Last two were at the same time. I'd been running with a crew of cowboys, the real deal, when we were attacked in the night. I don't know how many men came after us, but Ah do know that I took out at least two of them before I got my own," he said, flicking his hand up at his forehead. "Ah dunno how long Ah laid there in the cold mud, but when Ah finally got up, Ah was here.

"An' you know the rest. Walked outta tha' woods, and so on."

Twilight nodded, humming as she digested the tale. Absently, she lifted a hoof and grabbed the glass of water before taking a drink. He watched her press the glass between her hooves and stare into it for a long while before glancing up at him.

"I'm not one to pass judgment, Jake, not officially," she quickly clarified. "I'm not a Judge, and this isn't a trial. But..." She bit her bottom lip before saying, "But I don't think you murdered those creatures.

"Killed them, sure," she said, as he started to protest, "but killing another creature doesn't automatically make it murder, not here at least."

"Maybe not the last three," he gave, but she held up a hoof.

"Jake, you acted in defense of your friend," she said, giving him a small but intense smile. "If I can understand anything, it's acting to defend a friend.

"And yeah, maybe it was extreme," she sighed, leaning back, "but the feelings? The desire? I can understand."

Jake sighed, falling back into the pillow. "Ah'm glad, Twilight, but judgment is for no man or pony," he gave with a smile her way, "but for God. And killin' is killin' in His eyes."

Frowning, Twilight chewed on her tongue for a moment before asking, "Didn't you say that his son died to forgive your 'sins'?"

"Some things are unforgivable," he cut back.

"That sounds like judgment to me, Jake," she quickly snipped back.

He lifted his back from the bed, looking down at her and glaring before letting a breath out and relaxing again.

After a long minute, he said rigidly, "I'm glad you've decided not to hol' it against me, Twilight, but Ah'm done talkin' about it now."

He couldn't see the sorrowful look she gave him, but with a sigh, she gave up and said, "Okay, Jake. We should probably talk about what we're going to do about your head anyway."

"What's there to be done," he said with a flapping of his hand. "Nature takes its intended course, and Ah end up in the dirt."

She sighed. "Maybe, but I've called in an expert first to see if we can actually do something about it. There's an expert on the train here from Canterlot right now, actually, since we weren't sure you would wake up..."

She trailed off, and he glanced over at her face. It was utterly devoid of any sort of emotion or expression, and she was staring into the whiteness of the sheet over his ribs.

The movement of his arm went unnoticed this time, and she flinched slightly when he cupped one of her cheeks, his fingers wrapping around the back of her head as she looked up at him.

"Ah'm still here," he reminded her with a small smile.

"Yeah," she said, smiling at him as he ran his hand gently over her fur before she stood on her back legs and wrapped some of his chest in a soft hug.

Chuckling, he patted her back before frowning and reaching into his mouth, pulling out a couple of red fingertips.

"Oh, uhm, you bit your cheek during the seizure," Twilight told him, sliding back down to the floor. "We were able to heal it, but since it was so deep, it may open again. Much shallower, of course, but still."

He hummed, gently tonguing the cut, sighing at the length of it. "Did it go all the way through?" he asked quietly, not expecting an answer but getting one in the form of her flinch. "Huh."

"We're, uhm, more experienced with healing cuts on the outside, so it shouldn't reopen anywhere but the inside. And only a little, so let us know if it gets bad," she told him.

"Yes, ma'am," he murmured, running his tongue over the cut a last time before shaking his head. "Hey, so, speaking of all that," he said with a wave of his hand at his forehead, "how'd ya get me here? We were pretty far outta town."

"Oh, I cast a Featherlite spell, then Rainbow and I carried you here," she said, perking up a little. "You're not really supposed to move creatures in a situation like yours, but, uh, I kinda panicked, and Rainbow didn't argue when she saw you go, uh, still."

Jake blinked. "You an' her, what, put me on ya backs? I didn't think that skinny thing coul' lift me."

"I'll do you a favor and not tell Dash you said that," she chuckled before shaking her head. "No, I grabbed a tree, and we made a stretcher. Then we flew you here."

Jake jerked, looking down at her with wide eyes. "You flew me?"

"Well, we wanted to get you here as fast as possible," she said, nodding.

"Huh," he murmured, turning his head to look out one of the two windows, watching the sky until a pony flew across his vision. "Well, thank'ya," he said, looking down at her.

"Every time, Jake," she replied with a smile.

He returned the smile before clearing his throat. "So, uh, how long until this brain guy shows up?"

Twilight started to pause before looking over her shoulder at the door suspiciously before returning her gaze to Jake. "Well, usually whenever that question gets dropped, it's either immediately or—"

She cut herself off, whipping her head over her shoulder.

The door remained closed.

"Or, whenever it's funniest," she finished, narrowing her eyes at the door before turning back to him.

He looked at her, then at the door, then back to her. "Twilight, Ah'm sorry, but that's just too damned weird."

She sighed and shrugged. "Sorry, Jake, that's just sort of how it works here in Equestria."

They both paused, watching the door.


***** ***** ***** ***** *****


As it so happened, the doctor showed up a few hours later, interrupting Jake teaching Twilight one of his card games.

"Ah, sorry," she said, smiling at them as she pranced into the room, holding a briefcase in her field as she nodded at Twilight. "I would've been here hours ago, but there was an incident on the tracks that we had to wait on. I'm Doctor Tender Care, a surgeon specializing in neuroscience! Now, who am Iiiiiiiii—"

She trailed off, looking up at Jake on the bed, his sheet pooled around his waist. His torso was heavily scarred, long thin lines tracing over his body in crosses and short puckers.

"Hello, ma'am," he said, nodding to her.

The action broke her out of her stasis, and she shook her head roughly before smiling up at him. "Ah, sorry, uhm, 'sir'? Just startled, won't happen again. And," she said, looking over at Twilight and once again falling into an open-mouthed stare.

Twilight cleared her throat, and the unicorn shook her head again and gave a small, tight smile. "Err, sorry, Princess, just wasn't..."

Twilight smiled and waved her hoof as the doctor trailed off again. "I'm not worried about it, Doctor. This is Jake, and he'll be your patient today."

Jake waved his hand, and Tender Care nodded.

"Right, right, unmapped neurological specimen," Tender scoffed, lightly rapping her hoof off her forehead, "I knew that. So, Jake, what exactly has been going on?"

"Well, ma'am, I've been having, seizures?" he asked, looking at Twilight, who nodded. "Well, one at least. Prolly comes from the hole in muh brain."

Tender stared at him before looking at Twilight.

"Jake arrived here under some strange circumstances and arrived with a channel in his brain with entry and exit wounds, like a crossbow bolt," Twilight explained, using her magic to highlight a circle on his forehead. "I was able to patch up the skull and skin, but I didn't have the knowledge to heal his brain itself."

Tender Care slowly started nodding before lifting her briefcase and sitting it on the bed.

"I think I understand," she murmured, opening the case and beginning to pull out large sheets of metal and equipment that were wired to them. "Well, the first thing we should do is scan the brain to see how it compares to a pony's brain. If there's enough overlap, then I'll feel confident enough to either start treatment or at least be able to refer you to somecreature that can do more specialized treatments."

Jake looked at the floating panels and wires hovering near the ceiling, swallowing dryly before nodding.

"Alright, so, first I'm going to use some of these panels to get a more complete picture of what's going on up there," she said, hovering most of the panels down and gesturing with a hoof. "I'll cast a simple spell to make the gray matter light up; then, I'll take a series of shots that will give us a better idea of what we're working with."

He slowly nodded again, watching as five of the panels came to float around his head.

"I'll need you to hold still for thirty seconds, alright, Jake?"

Instead of nodding, he raised his hand and extended the thumb upwards.

"That means yes," he heard Twilight say before he felt something that was almost like a gentle weight settle onto his head. There was a humming from every direction for a long few moments before everything went silent, and the panels disappeared.

The five floated back over to the briefcase, and the last four came down to glide just over his knees.

"Alright, now this is the really cool part," Tender said before casting at the panels.

As he watched, thin lines in green seemed to blossom from the panels, growing and branching out until, thirty seconds later, he was staring at a fairly standard picture of a brain. It seemed to have depth, though, and as he moved his head, he could see the furrows and channels that made up, presumably, his brain.

"Right? Three-dee modeling," Tender said, hopping onto her hind legs to get a better look at the floating green brain. Twilight quickly copied her on his other side.

"Here," she quickly said, pointing at a rough patch on his brain. Reaching out and moving the tip of her hoof, Twilight spun the image until the wound was lined up in front of Tender. "That's the entry hole."

"Oh goodness," Tender Care murmured, leaning forward to inspect it. The hole was sent away from her with a flick of her own hoof. Pressing down on the board, she scraped her hoof across the surface. Part of his brain disappeared, and Jake felt a wave of vertigo wash over him.

Shaking his head, he realized he didn't actually feel any differently and scowled down at the ragged channel that dug straight through his head.

"Yeah, that looks like a bolt hole," Tender murmured, looking closer at it. "It's cleaner, though, as if it was going much faster, and the head seems to have been rounded instead of bladed."

Twilight watched the doctor consider the picture for a minute until she finally asked, "So, can you heal it?"

Instead of a yes or no, Tender Care just hummed. After a long minute, she said, "In theory."

Jake frowned. "Wassat mean?"

"Well, yes, I probably could," Tender Care said, frowning, "but the thing is, I sort of have to see what I'm healing. Which means surgery. The cut-your-skull-and-brain-open kind. I'd have to cut into the matter and heal it from the inside out. It's an older procedure but still practiced."

"Wait," Jake said, holding up his hand and shaking his head. "You'd be cuttin' my brain?"

"Yup," Tender said, reaching out and restoring the brain. Grabbing a sort of stick, she rotated the image until she was closest to the channel before running the rod through the image. A red line appeared, then split in two as the brain was sort of pulled up, revealing the track. "See, the brain's soft enough that we just cut into it, carefully and precisely, of course, then heal the entire wound at once.

"The real sticking point is, well, the normal thing when you heal an old wound," she said, nodding at Jake's torso. "The older the wound, the more likely it scars, and the heavier it does so. The new cut is completely healed, being so fresh, but this?"

She tapped the channel with a hoof. "Maybe it heals perfectly. Maybe it leaves a tiny, thin long scar. Maybe, if it's old enough, it leaves something thick and ropy," she said, leaning over and tapping one of Jake's thicker scars. "And in the worst cases, the scar is just as bad as the hole. Rarely, worse."

Twilight chewed on her lip, looking up at Jake. He was pale and shaking slightly, looking down at the brain before him. "Jake?"

He winced before looking down at her.

"Jake, I can see you're scared, and I don't blame you," she said before glancing at the image. "But if we don't at least try this, you'll probably keep having seizures."

"After this first one, the chances are over ninety-five percent for another," Tender Care chimed in.

"And after?" he asked her.

Tender sighed, gazing deeply into the picture. "I won't lie," she said softly, "the chances are higher than zero. But, if there are any additional seizures, they will definitely be less intense, less life-threatening, and will respond better to medications we can put you on.

"I know it's scary," Tender Care said, looking up and meeting Jake's eyes. She smiled softly. "I think it's worth the risk."

He took a deep breath, looking at the picture before waving a hand through it, sending it away.

"Curse me for a damned fool. Ah'm about to let a tiny horse operate on my head," he growled before nodding. "Let's get it done then."
> Something Recovers
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

Jake came to slowly, eyes heavy. Blinking, he lifted a hand to his face, rubbing over his forehead down to his stubbly chin.

"Good morning."

His reaction was to jerk away, but he found himself merely blinking again before he turned his head towards the voice.

"Purple," he murmured through the screaming hot dust in his throat.

"Yes, I am," the voice replied before he felt something cool on his lip.

The tiniest trickle of water entered his mouth, and he swallowed it before opening it wider. The same trickle entered, and this process was repeated until the bonfire in his Adam's apple was drowned.

Sated, he felt his eyes growing heavier than ever, and he closed them.

***** ***** ***** ***** *****

Jake awoke, this time in a flurry of slow blinks. Reaching up again, he rubbed his eye before scratching at his cheek. Finally opening his eyes, he stared at the white ceiling for a moment before his head creaked to the side.

It took him a moment to remember where he was. The remembering took longer than he liked, and he blamed it on the small purple horse asleep in the large chair by his bed.

Lifting his arms, he flexed blood and feeling back into his fingers before slowly pushing himself up the headboard. Glancing over at Twilight again, he saw what he needed on the small table between them and reached over to snag the tall glass filled with clear water.

Lifting it over to his chin, he looked at the shiny stick drifting in the drink, seemingly hollow from the end, pointing at him. With a shrug, he swirled the glass to move it out of the way before taking a small sip.

Glancing around the room, he took in the decorations and slowly emptied the glass. Absently he returned the vessel to his table, flinching as it made a thudding noise against the wood.

He watched as one of Twilight's ears flicked a couple of times before she opened her eyes, blinking sleepily at him before yawning.

"Welcome back," she murmured before glancing at the glass on the table and frowning. "I hope you drank that slowly, or you'll be throwing it back up."

He snorted but otherwise didn't reply.

"How bad is it?" he asked, using a hand to gesture at his head.

Her eyebrows creased, closing the gap between themselves.

"I mean, it's not to my usual tastes, but it's not bad?"

Jake blinked at her before scowling. "Twilight, what in the hell are you talkin' about? How's my head?"

"Oh!" she said, blinking before giving him a slight smile. "Sorry. It's fine? The healer did what she needed to and then healed it all back up. You're good to go as soon as we do some basic tests; make sure nothing in there healed poorly," she said, waving a hoof at his head.

"Oh," he said, reaching up to gently test the skin and hair on his head. He even pushed in a couple of places to test his skull. "I expected stitches an' bandages."

"Why?" Twilight asked, cocking her head. "I healed your head the first time without them, remember?" Her face drew further into a worried frown, and she leaned forward. "You do remember that, right?"

He waved his hand at her. "Yeah, an' I also remember you sayin' you weren't a trained healer, so I di'n know what to expect."

She let out a hmpf before standing up. "Alright then, smarty pants, let's see what else you remember."

She used her magic to open the curtains on the singular window slightly before lifting a stack of papers off the table.

Jake looked at the stack, then at her, before grunting and closing his eyes again.

The next fifteen minutes were her quizzing him on things she'd learned about him and things she'd tried to teach him, and was immediately followed by a series of math and vocabulary questions. He'd tried to get out of the tests but found his clothing restricted to just the blanket when he'd stood up.

He still threatened to leave until Twilight used a spell to stick the blanket to the bed. And then the same spell to attach the bed to the floor when he began dragging the whole thing to the door.

"Come on, Jake, I can't even ask you half of these!" Twilight complained. "They're all society questions that I haven't gotten to yet!"

"To hell with society, gimme my pants!"

In the end, she'd trimmed her tests down to two pages for him, followed by a quick physical (his reflex system wasn't anything like a pony's, so Twilight reduced the tests to a series of pokes that led to a series of complaints) before she finally gave his clothes back.

He glanced at her before sitting on the bed and pulling on a thin white garment that covered his thighs and buttoned up to his chest. Pulling on his socks next, he scoffed when she finally blushed and looked away long enough for him to pull on his trousers and boots. Her gaze returned when he slipped on his shirt and buttoned it up before slowly standing from the bed.

His head swam for a moment, but it went away quickly, and he sighed as he buttoned his trousers and threaded his belt around his hips.

"Alright, last tests," Twilight said with a click as she brought her front hooves together.

Jake glanced down at her before he was across the room with a leap. She made a squawking sound as he pulled open the door, and he turned and smirked at her before he slammed the door.

He was off at a sprint down the hallway, sliding to a stop next to a window at the end of the hall. Glancing out of it, he pulled it open before sitting on the sill. He heard a door slam open down the hall, and he glanced back towards a huffing Twilight, her wings flared and fluffed as her eyes met his.

Raising his fingers to his forehead, he flicked them to her before kicking himself out.

Twilight was at the window moments later, her shoulders out of the window and legs on the sill, looking down and out.

She flinched when Jake gently patted her cheek, sitting on the grass and looking up at her.

"Ground floor," he told her before standing and putting his hands in the curve at the base of his back before leaning back to crack his spine.

He glanced back at Twilight before gesturing at her muzzle. "Ye'r fly-catchin'," he said before glancing at the horizon. "The blue an' purple one, right?"

There was a sputtering noise that he ignored as he started walking towards the large crystal star.

***** ***** ***** ***** *****

Twilight huffed again as she closed the doors behind them. She'd been doing that the entire walk to her home, trying to push the fact that she was giving Jake the silent treatment, but he'd ignored every one of her sounds.

Even now, he just glanced at her. When she pointedly looked away, she heard the sound of his boots moving on her crystal floor. Looking back, she watched Jake disappear around a corner that led towards his borrowed room. She stood there, fuming until he poked his head back around.

"Done yet?" he deadpanned.

She huffed but quietly said, "It wasn't funny, Jake. I thought you hurt yourself, again."

"Also weren't worth twenty minutes of attempted silent treatment," he said before putting his left hand on his hip. "Was it."

She frowned up at him. "We need to work on your grammar," she eventually said.

"Only a fool works an empty mine," he replied quickly. "Now, d'ya need me for anything, or can I go take care of my guns? They should have been cleaned as soon as I was done with 'em, but I doubt that happened."

"You just got out of the hospital, Jake," she said, frowning at him. "Shouldn't you be more worried about your health? Maybe take a break?"

He snorted. "Break from what? Ain't been doing nothing last few days besides sleepin' and bleedin'. 'Sides, it needs bein' done, and I can sit while I do it."

She frowned before sighing. "Alright. Just bring it to the dining room? You haven't eaten in a couple of days now; nothing solid anyway."

He frowned, nodding, before finally disappearing down the hall.

She'd filled the table by the time he'd made it to the dining room with several cloth sacks in hand.

"Don't think I can eat all this," he said, dumping his packs on a chair. "Don't think ten of me could eat all this."

"I've invited my friends over, but that's not the point," Twilight said, adjusting several of the dishes at one end of the table. "I need a comprehensive list of what you can and can't eat. You mentioned earlier that you've never eaten anything you were allergic to, but that doesn't mean you aren't allergic to anything. Plus, you're an omnivore, I'm guessing, and that means you'll need different nutrients to stay healthy."

Jake looked at her blankly.

Sighing, she said, "I need to know what makes you sick and what might make you sick if you don't have enough."

Jake hummed. "Fruit, bread, and meat." he said, glancing at the carrots before adding, "Vegetables. Coffee is nice too. Sailors say limes or lemons. Oranges."

"Meat?" Twilight asked, looking along the table and lifting a dish. "I have fish here."

Jake looked at the offered plate, raising an eyebrow. "Ma'am, this is raw."

"I made sure they have the heads, too!" she replied with a wide grin. "Fluttershy says that's some of her friend's favorite part."

Jake looked at the fish, then at Twilight, then at the fish again.

"Twilight, may I borrow your kitchen?"

Twilight's ears perked up, and she let him take the dish before leading him to the kitchen they'd been in earlier.

"Now I'm no cook," he murmured, setting the fish down near a wooden cutting board before rummaging through the drawers nearest him, "but I've rode in the wagon with a couple of'em, one from Loo'sanna. Fella liked the seafood down there, and I seen him cut up a couple of river fish like these."

Understanding what he was looking for, Twilight pulled the drawer open.

Quickly shuffling through it, he sighed before pulling out a Prench knife Rarity had gifted her.

"Now, ol boy knew his way around his work, and he had a roll of eight different knives he kept. I guess you don't have a cleaver, seeing as you mostly eat greens, but that's what he'd use."

Without another word, Jake pulled a fish from the tray before setting it on the block and slamming the knife down, scooting the disembodied head to the side.

Twilight watched, fascinated as he carefully cut down the fish's belly and moved the viscera to the side. Without much thought, she pulled a metal tray from one of the drawers and moved the discarded pieces into it.

"Another small one, please," Jake muttered before sliding the knife down from the tail, flipping the fish, and repeating the process. He tossed the remaining carcass in the new pan before he began massaging the fresh cuts of fish he had. Using the knife and his thumb, he pulled small, thin bones from the meat and tossed them in with the tails, repeating the process until he couldn't feel any remaining bones.

He moved to the sink and reached for a pan before stopping and just twisting a knob. Rinsing the meat under cold water, he rinsed his hands before turning the water off.

Twilight reached for a towel, but he was already wiping his hands on his pants.

She sighed, but Jake was busy grabbing a pan from the rack over her kitchen island and placing it on the stovetop.

"You got wood for the oven?" he asked, looking around the kitchen.

"Wood for—" Twilight started before stopping and shaking her head. "Turn the knob on the front, Jake."

He did so, startled by the small flame that popped into life, before moving his pan to it.

Licking his lips, he turned to Twilight and asked, "Do ya have, uhm, salt?"

Pointing with her horn, she opened a cabinet that held a mixture of bottles and bags. "Use what you like," she said, noticing how his face paled slightly.

"So I'm guessin' they aren't expensive, then?" he asked, grabbing a couple of jars and twisting the lids off to smell them.

"Some of them are, but don't worry about that," she told him, gesturing at the bottles, "I don't mind paying whatever to learn how you season food."

"Just find what tastes good," he muttered, carefully sprinkling some powdered Five-Spice Pinkie had gifted her before carefully licking the powder. Making a face, he put it back before continuing the process.

In the end, he only chose two seasonings; powdered cayenne pepper and salt.

Mixing the two in a palm, he rubbed the mixture into the meat of the fish before cursing.

"Do you have—" he started to ask before glancing at Twilight. "You wouldn't have a little lard to slick the pan?"

"Hmmm, what is it?"

"Well, I hesitate because it's pig fat," he replied.

Twilight frowned and thought for a moment. "I have butter?"

He nodded, and she magically pulled a stick from her icebox. Jake used a hand to indicate how much she should toss in, then used a towel to grab the pan's handle and swirled the frothing butter around before throwing in the fillets.

Twilight couldn't help the face she made when the smell of cooking fish filled her kitchen, but the only reaction from Jake was a growling she heard from his stomach.

Twilight watched as he kept the pan swirling. The fish stayed in place for a bit, but after enough moving and heat, they slid around the pan. Reaching in with his spiced hand, he carefully flipped the fish onto its back.

"Plate?" he asked, nodding when she floated him one.

Repeating the swirling process with the flesh side, he poked the fillets every now and then until he judged them done and slid them onto the plate.

Setting the pan aside and turning the stove off, he rinsed his hands as Twilight looked over the fish.

"It's black," she said with a frown. "Did you burn it?"

"Nah," he said, rooting through an earlier drawer and pulling out a unicorn fork. "Lucas got cussed the first time he made it. Says it's the fat and the spices getting good color. His tasted good, but you don't have all the spices he kept."

"Really? Huh. Maybe Pinkie or one of the local griffons have something similar. Do you know what they were?" she asked, taking the fork he offered her and poking at the food.

"Ah think one was powdered garlic."

Twilight hummed, nodding. "That's why I don't have it. Ponies are allergic to garlic and the rest of the alium family. Like leeks and onions," she told him.

"Mmm, onion sounds right as well," he said before chuckling. "Are ya gonna try it, or jus' poke it?"

Twilight made a face before summoning a book. Quickly flipping through it, she read something before the book vanished back to where it had come from.

Using the side of the fork, she cut a tiny corner off the filet and speared it before closing her eyes and putting it in her mouth.

Muttering, she shivered at the taste before actually tasting it.

"It's salty and a little spicy," she murmured, "but it doesn't actually have a lot of flavor. Tastes... wrong, but my book says it's not harmful as long as a pony doesn't eat much."

She jumped as Jake pulled the fork from her magic, cutting off his own piece and popping it into his mouth.

He hummed before shrugging. "Tastes fine to me. Must be a horse thing."

She kicked his shin, waiting for him to look at her before she corrected, "Pony. Po. Nee."

"You kick me again, and you'll see a 'nee'," he said, pointing his fork at her before picking up the fillet plate and leaving the kitchen.

"Jake, was that a threat?" she called after him, following through the hall and back towards the dining room. "I don't understand. What is a 'Nee'?"

Pausing in front of the doors, Jake turned to her and lifted his leg before pointing at the angle where it bent.

"Knee," he said before swinging it back and thrusting it forward towards her face, lifting his eyebrows.

Twilight frowned. "Wouldn't that hurt you too?"

"Only if I got yer horn," he said, reaching down and rapping his knuckles against the bend, producing a dull thud with every tap.

Walking forward, Twilight raised her hoof and pressed her frog against the bend. "Oh, it's bony!"

"Likely 'cause there'sa bone in there," he said, dropping his boot and turning back to the doors to their dining room.

"There's a bone in where?" called a slightly panicked voice from further in, causing Jake to glance into the room.

He took in the multitude of ponies in the room, plus a squat lizard-looking creature. There were only four he didn't recognize, although the rainbow one was a fuzzy memory.

"Pick a spot," he told the pale pony with swirling purple hair, pointing at his ribs. "Full'a them, honestly."

"Oh," she murmured, leaning back in her chair before narrowing her eyes. "But they're supposed to be there, correct?"

"Yes'm," he said, nodding.

"Good," she huffed, sighing.

There was an awkward silence as he stood in the doorway before he slowly raised a hand and took the fork from his plate before using it to place a piece of food into his mouth.

Twilight cleared her throat before pushing herself into the room between his leg and the door. "Jake, these are the friends I mentioned would be joining us for lunch," she said with a wave of her leg. "You already know AJ, Rainbow Dash, Pinkie Pie, and I've told you a bit about Spike," she said, pointing at each creature named, each waving with their own intensity, Spike the most reserved.

"Mr. Dragon," Jake murmured, inclining his head.

"Beside him," Twilight continued with a smile of her own, "are Rarity and Fluttershy." The former nodded at him with a polite smile, while the pegasus simply gave him a single wave. "And then there's my ex-student, Starlight Glimmer, and her marefriend, Trixie."

Starlight gave him a warm smile and a nod, but the last unicorn merely tilted her head to the side and said, "What are you?"

Twilight slapped her hoof over her eyes, but Jake smirked and replied, "An undead affront to God."

Trixie looked confused, but Twilight cleared her throat. "We're not getting into that again. Trixie, this is Jake. He's a creature from another world or plane of existence; we haven't narrowed it down yet."

He reached up to tip his hat but found only his hair. Blinking, he turned his hand and instead waved at the group.

"Hello."

There was a quiet chorus, minus one pony, and he nodded before walking over and placing his plate next to the bags he'd left on the table. Picking them up, he dropped them underneath the chair before sitting between Starlight and the empty chair at the head of the table that Twilight quickly took.

Starlight smiled up at his face before glancing at his plate. The smile wobbled as the smell hit her, and she cleared her throat.

"So, uh, Jake? What'cha, uhm, eating?"

Glancing down, he gently pushed the plate away from her before he said, "Fish, ma'am."

"Ah," she said, swallowing dryly before nodding. "It smells familiar. It is always, uh, spicy?"

Fluttershy perked up, looking at his plate before looking back at him. "Oh, did you accidentally put some capsaicin on it? Here, I can—"

He held up a hand to the suddenly talkative pegasus, smiling. "It's okay, ma'am; I added it on purpose. Just a little cayenne and salt for flavor. Ah'd reckon you're the lady to thank for the food?"

"Oh, uhm, yes," she said, eyes widening before she dipped her head underneath the forelock of her mane. "You don't need to thank me, though; I keep them around for my animal friends."

"Still, thank'ya," he said, smiling gently at the pony trying to duck underneath her own hair.

She murmured something he couldn't hear before dipping further into her hair.

He glanced at Twilight, who smiled slightly and shook her head. Nodding, he looked around the rest of the table before reaching out towards his plate again with his fork.

"Oh, Jake, I see you're using unicorn cutlery," said the white unicorn, perking up and smiling.

"Uh, I suppose, ma'am," he said, glancing at the implement in his hand. "Are there different forks?"

"Well, dear, the more slender ones like that particular implement are harder for hoof use, so earth ponies and pegasi use a knobbier, thicker version or forsake them entirely," she said, glancing at AJ as she frowned through the last bit of her sentence.

Jake looked down at his plate for a moment before looking back at her and slowly raising a finger to his pointy noise.

"Mm, indeed," she murmured before looking at Rainbow this time, "but that doesn't stop everycreature."

Rainbow coughed something that sounded suspiciously like priss before reaching out and grabbing a bowl of leafy greens. "Speaking of eating food, I'm starved."

"Oh, of course, everycreature feel free!" Twilight said, waving at the table.

There was a general shuffling as the table began moving food to plates, passing hoof to paw to hoof to hand to hoof as everyone began filling plates. A few ponies were cautiously curious about Jake's fish, and he gave up half of one of the fillets to be cut and shared among the others.

Only Spike seemed to enjoy it, though he looked conflicted about it.

"It's okay, Spike," Fluttershy ended up comforting him, wrapping a wing around him as she told him, "it's one of the ones from Harry."

"Harry?" Jake asked, perking up.

"Oh, yes," she said, shrinking in a little before she said, "he's one of my animal friends, a bear."

"Oh," he said, slumping in his chair and nodding. "Right, right," he muttered, sliding a hand over his eyes.

"Jake?" Twilight asked, sitting upright in her chair. "Is everything alright?"

He nodded, glancing over at her before chuckling. "Harry is a man's name, where I'm from, so I thought... But I'm the only one, right?"

Her expression dropped, and she gently nodded.

He sighed before smiling at Fluttershy again. "Will ya thank him for me? I'd get sick without some sort of meat, so I appreciate it."

"Oh, of course, Jake," she said, managing a small smile before she busied herself with her own plate.

After a few more moments, Trixie cleared her throat. "Twilight, did you, uh, have some cravings today?" she asked, levitating a radish beside a bowl of pale beans and a fruit salad. "Some of these just don't go together."

"Oh, right!" Twilight said before carefully gathering a varied selection from all the dishes and piling them on a fresh plate. "There are two reasons for this lunch. The main one was to introduce Jake to my closest friends, and Trixie—"

"Hey!"

"But it was also to test if Jake has anything he can't eat or is allergic to!"

She 'gently' set the plate in front of the human, most of the table twitching at the thud before grinning at him.

Jake looked at the plate, noted that he could no longer see the short dragon, and sighed as he picked up his fork once again.

In the end, they discovered quite a few things, the biggest one being that Jake's best manners were not entirely up to Rarity's standards. He disliked the tastes of the raw grasses on display and mentioned that they had his stomach turning, but he wasn't actively allergic to any of the array.

"Well, that means you're able to eat just about anything you come across in Equestria!" Twilight proclaimed as he pushed away the last of the spice jars she'd summoned from the kitchen. "Just stay away from anything that says 'hay,' and you'll be good."

Jake nodded, holding a fist over his lips as he burped, quietly for most of the ponies at the table, before muttering an, "Excuse me," and slumping in his chair.

"So, we know you don't like any of the assorted grasses or hay items," Twilight said, lifting a notepad again from the table and scratching on it with a quill, "but was there anything in particular you liked, or would have liked?"

"Uhm," he murmured, scratching the top of his head as he slumped in his chair. "The apple dumplings were fantastic," he said, nodding his head at AJ's 'Thank'ya', before continuing, "but I suppose I enjoyed the, what did you call it, the... mee soh eggplant?"

"Ooo, how refined of you, Jake," Rarity tittered behind a hoof.

He raised an eyebrow at her, and she returned with a prim smile.

"Yer makin' fun'a me," he accused.

Her smile only curled.

Twilight cleared her throat. "What did you like about it, Jake?" she asked, glancing at Rarity.

He narrowed his eyes at her. "The... taste?"

Twilight opened her mouth and glanced at Jake's utterly confused look before closing her mouth and nodding. "Anything else?"

"Everything else was alright," he said, shrugging. "The beans needed lard and onion, garlic, but otherwise, everything else was good."

"You eat lard?" AJ asked from across the table, and three creatures turned to look at her.

"You know what that is?" Twilight asked.

AJ snorted. "Ah raise pigs, Twi. They're good at findin' truffles in tha Everfree an' White Tail, but they pass on eventually, an' griffins will buy them for food. Never touched the stuff, but ah know what it is."

Twilight glanced at Pinkie Pie, the other mare who'd looked at AJ. She shrugged and just said, "Griffins use it in some pastry instead of vegetable shortening."

Rarity turned green.

"Oh, right, Pinkie," Twilight said, dropping her notepad to look at the baker, "do you know if griffins can eat alium? garlic and onions? Jake says they were staples of his."

"No, nooooooooo," she said, stretching the words, "No, no, no, they're even more poisonous to them than they are to us. Especially garlic."

"Uh, Twi?" AJ asked, "You know cows eat both'a those, right? Daisy-Jo would likely know where to get some."

"Really?" Twilight said, looking surprised for a moment before she scribbled on her pad. "I had no idea, Applejack; thank you..."

The rest of lunch was quickly gathered up and distributed to whoever wanted the dish, most of it relegated to Twilight's icebox, and the ponies each gave their goodbyes before trickling out of the castle.

The last was Twilight, who excused herself to do some cross-referencing in her library to ensure there were no interactions between the foods she was used to and the ones Jake requested.

After the table had been magically cleared and Jake had digested enough food not to be uncomfortable, he reached under his chair and retrieved his bags from earlier. Pulling a dirty cloth out first, he set his revolver in the middle when a small voice beside him made him jump.

"Hey."

Looking down, he saw the small dragon standing there, Spike's large eyes dark and glinting.

"Uh, hello, Mr. Dragon," Jake started but stilled when Spike held a paw up.

"I don't know where you come from," Spike said, slow and steady, "but I know it's not a good place. I can smell it on you, on your clothes, and your bags."

"Smell what?" Jake asked, straightening in his chair.

"Fire. Sulfur. Fear and anger." He blinked slowly. "Blood, and not just yours. Lots of it.

"I don't know where you come from," Spike repeated, "but I know at least one thing. If you hurt my friends or their family?"

He leaned forward, and Jake found himself leaning away, cold sweat forming at the base of his spine and on the back of his neck.

"You'll find out why Dragons are the apex predators on this world," he promised.

Jake couldn't think of anything to say, his eyes trapped in the swirling emerald of this tiny being.

Spike snorted, a plume of smoke rising from his snout, and Jake flinched.

Looking satisfied, Spike relaxed his posture. Blinking slowly once again, he turned away and walked out of the room.

Jake watched the doors for some time, feeling the sweat on his brow and neck chilling his skin before he picked up the greasy cloth from the table and swiped it away. Flicking it out, he replaced his pistol and got to work pulling it apart and cleaning it.