1. Member Since 27th Apr, 2013
  2. offline for 9h, 59m

Some writers seem to believe that night is scariest when there is no light to see by. I like to believe that the light makes everything that much worse.

Featured In5

  • ...
 106
 2,619
Source

Spike shows up on Fluttershy's doorstep at the crack of dawn, professing heartbreak and asking for a shoulder to cry on. Fluttershy does as every pony should: she makes him a pot of tea, and sends him off to bed.

This is the story of where that takes them.

Currently on a small hiatus until I can get a antidepressant that works (Early early April.)

Cover art gratefully borrowed from Airy, over on Tumblr. Give a peek for more cuties :twilightsmile:

Big thanks to m1ntf4n for volunteering to edit, gods know I needed them.

Featured briefly on 12/22/16! Thanks all, for the wonderful Christmas gift!

First Published
13th Dec 2015
Last Modified
6th Feb 2017

You copied and paste at the beginning did you?  

>>6728812 ... In a way :twilightblush: It's more that I deleted all the stuff that I didn't really plan to write out. That story wasn't really meant to be, at least in the way that it just wrote itself from the seed I planted for this story, yeah?

But yeah, in essence it's a copy/pasta

Have not read the other story, so this is decent enough of a beginning to me. I rarely read Spike-related stories, but you have Fluttershy in here to, so we shall see how it goes. This is a decent start, though I am curious to see how exactly this turns into a spike x shy story.

>>6732166 Slowly, hopefully believably, and with lots of careful thought towards readability  :twilightsheepish:

>>6732256 That is all a reader can hope for. :pinkiehappy:

>>6730399 Can I copy/paste the beginning for a story I'm going to create?

Yes or No

I don't care what you pick it can be either.

>>6732644 No, I'm not really comfortable with that. With the exception of quotes, I fell like all writing should be of the author's own. And even quotes work better if the writer makes up their own :unsuresweetie:  Sorry...

>>6733081 It's okay, no problem

Cool and poor Twi . Her castle is a fortress from evil

I liked it, the meetup was brief, but it got across what was needed. Rarity and Spike both know they want to be friends again, everything is just too raw right now for Rarity to handle. Maybe getting shipped with Pinkie will help her with that. :trollestia:

It looks like the story is mostly dealing with the fallout between Rarity and Spike before any potential SpikexShy happens, which is nice as Spike doesn't just instantly move on from her to get to it sooner. And Shy clearly isn't thinking of him in a romantic way yet either, so there is still a great deal to this story to see. Yay for that. :pinkiehappy:

Pinkie was amusing, and her joking innuendo to Spike was funny, if not a touch ill timed on her part. But, It's Pinkie, and maybe making Spike consider how many other potential ponies are out there that may wind up being right for him can help him out of his own depression. Fluttershy's rage was also good, and fairly justified, Spike deserve pity, but not to the point of meanly mocking his friends in front of other friends like that.

I liked it, and, per the norm, can't wait to see this continue.

yes

i liked this

i liked how they talked and how rairty is really affected by it. and the fact pinkie basically said "Yeah lets have sex sometime! :3"

but the thing i like most is this feel natural like its not forced. its slowly growing and i like that X3

also im expecting Discord at some point to be

"Will you two screw already!?"

>>6805403

Hate to disappoint, but I'm not really confident in writing Discord, so I don't know if I'll even include him  :fluttershysad:

Not that I for sure won't, I'm just not sure if I should yet or not.

>>6805469

Well you have my vote for add him to tear the shit out of these guys XD

and i know how you feel took me a while to get him right lol.

This is a story that has my attention.

wow lewd

Are they going to... hold hands?

Were you referencing the movie known as Charlotte's Web? (I think that's the name of the movie I'm thinking of)? :applejackunsure:

This is a good story so far. I am not much of a spike and fluttershy ship, but I enjoyed it. Have a moustache.:moustache:

>>6932679

Uhm, it's possible. Which line?

>>6932815

There's another story of mine that has, urhm, more adult themes, that loosely follows the plot of this one.

Nice chase seen.

....are they going to bang on the table? :D

YES

YEEES!

>>6934186 Not in this one :rainbowlaugh:

Fluttering Around, however, may have another chapter sometime today... Maybe.

>>6934788

as long as they bang in this story i'll be happy :P

>>6937690 ... I mean, maybe implied, but this is keeping its T rating :derpytongue2:

>>6937751

as long as i know they banged i'll be happy >:3

>>6932679

It could be, but It could also be a reference to this.

>>7013397 I mean, I probably definitely made a reference to this, but it's not the one I was giving out points for :heart:

I've altered the author's note in the second chapter to make it a bit more obvious.

Very good chapter.

Will Rarity get jealous over this development?

What will Twilight say?

How far will they take it?

Any clop?

>>7049063 No clop in this one, but I have a related fic published just around the same time this one was, if you wanna check it out.

wooo :3 thought this died :D im happy i was wrong :D

>>7196818 Yeah, I just had a crappy couple of months. I'm gonna try and keep writing on it today, actually finish the 25th day, but I make no promises :twilightblush:

>>7197445 aww take your time man i'm just a reader i can wait for as long as you need :3  and hope what ever made your months turns around with something not crappy :)

JC

Haven't even read the new chapter yet, but I just wanted to thank you for continuing this story. It feels like Spike/Mane 6 shipping is all but dead on this site (Sparity lives on to some extent), so I'm glad to see you're still writing. As concerns this story in particular, I don't think there's a great deal of Spike/Fluttershy, and this is one of the best I know of.

All to say, please keep going! :pinkiehappy:

>>7202566 Thank you for the words of determination! I shall do my best :heart: :rainbowdetermined2:

This should honestly have more views, you're a decent writer and this is such a good ship.

Keep it up!

>>7211082 It's sort of strange how being called decent is such a compliment :trollestia: Anyhow, thank you!

omfg

will you 2 bang already?!

moaarr :3  your work is magnificent keep up the great work man have a great one :D

That dream sounds more like a nightmare. The air FULL of bees? I'm just imagining a swarm flying towards him, blotting out the sun, intent on being murdurously vicious with their stings.

Great chapter btw, can't wait for more!

omg

will you two just bang already?!

Screw that lack of confidence your authors note display, your scene here is one of the best I've seen in fanfiction dealing with such a subject. The majority of stories that deals with second loves seem to demonize one party, a lot of those that don't either ignore one party or throw the drama into so high a gear that it becomes melodrama. And then there are those that just ignores one party.

You are doing great and the characters act maturely while still being heartbreakingly affected by the unpleasant situation. This is, so far, quite a gem, with a lot of emotion that avoids melodrama, a lot of understated humor that seems more natural than the utter gloom that heartbreak often looks like in fiction and you are avoiding both the cliche of demonizing one love interest in favor of another and also avoiding the big dramatic fallout where everyone is an idiot.

So well done so far.

This is adorable at all times that it isn't heartbreaking. Good work.

If I should give some criticism, there are three things.

First, as cute as it is, it seems like Spike almost moved in with Shy. That's kinda odd. Though maybe it's just because you only really write the scenes where they are together?

Second: At times you simply shift tense randomly, shifting from past to present tense for no reason for a single line or two. Maybe you're just hitting the s instead of the d at times, but you should be more careful with that. The places you shift tense doesn't exactly fit in the "dramatic present tense" thing I learned in school, they simply seem like mistakes.

Thirdly: It looks really weird with the capitalized species. I'm guessing you're using Unicorns and Dragons as people (like Danes and English) instead of in the sense of different animals, but it looks really weird to me. But that might be a simple matter of opinion. Just wanted to throw out there that if it is a people (as in nation, tribe or the like, be it Dane, Cherokee or some other affiliation) it should be capitalized, but if you are talking about them as race or species, it shouldn't be capitalized. You don't capitalize horse after all and usually, you don't capitalize dragon, unless you're talking about them as godlike beings, but that's a whole other discussion.

Still, those are minor points. This is a good read. Keep at it.

Happy writing.

P.S. Is Rainbow just teasing AJ or are they together?

>>7232460

Alright, let's go one by one:

First: It's mostly on purpose, I think I'm going to write a couple of chapters with them apart, two chapters for two perspectives maybe?

Second: That's a problem I struggle with, mostly because my brain goes too fast to remember what tense I'm in a lot :applecry:  I'll try and ctrl+F my work after the next chapter's done, replace anything that sticks out.

Third: I capitalize races mostly because every word processor ever redlines you if you don't capitalize Pegasus, and then Alicorn looks wrong if you don't capitalize it (to me, at least), so I just capitalize everything. I've read somewhere around here that it doesn't really matter which you do, as long as you're constant? I dunno. And from kudzuhaiku's veiwpoint at least, the three races are each their own, seperate tribes... Digression! I'm gonna stick with capitals for now.

There we go. And above all,

PS: Very early stages in dating. I may write an additional one shot for them, I really adore AppleDashery.

>>7233716 Alright. You're welcome.

First, I think you meant "consistent"? :raritywink: Second, I expected the tribe thing to be the reason and it is a much better reason than spellcheck, because the latter often makes mistakes, in the case of pegasus and alicorn, simply because the former is a singular name in mythology and the latter because it doesn't actually exist as an official word. It just looks off to me. Not least because I don't think the tribal connections are important to anyone anymore and then the biological rules ought to kick in more than the rest. Not least because I find it weird to see dragon capitalized and will be seriously weirded out when you have to capitalize donkey and zebra to make it make sense with your consistency. But your loaned argument holds up well enough that it is a simple matter of opinion, not of rules.

I just find it as weird as when I see elf and orc and pokemon consistently capitalized.

But it's a relatively minor thing. Happy writing. :twilightsmile:

Da-yum Fluttershy 0_0, looks like Spike isn't the only one with blue balls.

Login or register to comment