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Equestrian Automobile Association105 stories ·117 members
Audiobooks7,776 stories ·200 members
Brittany's Equestria Girls!1,377 stories ·109 members
It’s often been said that horses ponies cannot operate automobiles.
Whether that’s true or not, ponies shouldn’t buy a car beyond their skill level, even if they’ve got the bits to afford it. It’s only a matter of time before the car winds up a twisted wreck in the woods.
Now with a reading by StraightToThePointStudio
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...Or a modified Honda Civic.
So, so true.
lol i love it and this sure sounds like Marshmallow.
Ten bits for a Lamborghini... Two bits for an apple....
Don't expect a lot of tourists from Earthside, Your Highnesses... (Nor diplomatic missions- the per diem alone would bankrupt the UN.... ]
wheezing out laughter So, as it turns out giving a car to someone with hooves instead of hands? Bad idea. Really bad idea.
So just how much is a wrecked Lambo like that worth?
Whatever happens though, I bet Donna's keeping the bit.
I mean if she wants a car that'll stay on the road she could get a Rotunda.
Well, guess this is all the more reason to be concerned if I find a unicorn as my uber driver xD
Excuse me for several moments.
Goes downstairs to the family gun safe. Gets out my firearms, gets the ammo, and tries to find a portal to this Equestria…
Darn it that part is impossible. Entities like this make me mad because they ruin perfectly good cars out of sheer stupidity. Now to read what prompted this story.
10872285
Quite a bit as all the good bits are in the rear, unlike normal front engined cars that would likely have major engine damage from a frontal impact like that.
Rarity is the Element of Generosity, not the Element of Responsible Driving.
I just bought a Subaru Crosstrek. I woulda bought a Lambo but I'm not quite there yet.
...and Rarity wrecked the last one in stock.
Ponies must be significantly more durable than humans if they expect to walk away from a high speed crash in a wooden or cast iron cart with no crumple zone. That or they willingly sacrifice their cart pulling pony as their "crumple zone".
That is extremely in-character.
Ha! Perfect.
Looking at you Trixie.
Thats a Big crumple zone.
Its almost as if they designed it knowing the average idiot would try hitting it with trees to get round needing a logging license?
Delightful bit of randomness. There's a reason Rarity owns a cat. She can exude that same level of "it's not my fault, and in fact never happened at all" confidence after a disaster. And hey, if she's giving away Lambos, call it a tip.
The question is what kind of car would work for Rarity...
Magnific story!
10872707
Something that works better as a show piece than a performance car. Aston Martin comes to mind, just don't let her drive it.
10872707
Ubers. Only Ubers.
10872707
A Deusenberg. Preferably chauffeured.
images-wixmp-ed30a86b8c4ca887773594c2.wixmp.com/f/fb40fb27-9804-480b-bb90-ae1a3ab66ad8/d4umjbr-79b00f03-73d9-4f8a-9efc-35da3d066b0d.jpg/v1/fill/w_900,h_697,q_75,strp/rarity_fink_by_sketchywolf_13-d4umjbr.jpg?token=eyJ0eXAiOiJKV1QiLCJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiJ9.eyJpc3MiOiJ1cm46YXBwOjdlMGQxODg5ODIyNjQzNzNhNWYwZDQxNWVhMGQyNmUwIiwic3ViIjoidXJuOmFwcDo3ZTBkMTg4OTgyMjY0MzczYTVmMGQ0MTVlYTBkMjZlMCIsImF1ZCI6WyJ1cm46c2VydmljZTppbWFnZS5vcGVyYXRpb25zIl0sIm9iaiI6W1t7InBhdGgiOiIvZi9mYjQwZmIyNy05ODA0LTQ4MGItYmI5MC1hZTFhM2FiNjZhZDgvZDR1bWpici03OWIwMGYwMy03M2Q5LTRmOGEtOWVmYy0zNWRhM2QwNjZiMGQuanBnIiwid2lkdGgiOiI8PTkwMCIsImhlaWdodCI6Ijw9Njk3In1dXX0.oQ7uNiraNSrSbFBzkwL8UeBBsypM61gA4FAbEPikHYI
Rarity.. you silly mare.
10872195
Worth mentioning the Ford Pinto, which was designed badly enough to at least provide the name for this trope (Hollywood explosions are cooler than real ones).
10872582
The pony pulling the cart is the driver by any reasonable definition. If they aren't going to be protected, nopony is.
Never give a squirrely mid-engine rear-wheel-drive exotic with a manual transmission to a novice driver. They always do one of two things, or both at the same time; burning up the clutch and/or wrapping themselves around a tree. No traction control, no assists, no second chances.
Every time I hear about the Diablo I remember the one movie where Brendan Fraiser made a deal with the Devil.
Lambo?
static.zerochan.net/Lambo.full.449631.jpg
(Alondro is such an otaku... so lame.)
10872251
Or a shave and a haircut.
Barber would get a massive tip if an Equestrian bit really is worth that much.
Reminds me of the dotcom bubble days.
Another one of your brilliant ideas coming to life, and goodness its got the perfect amount of elegance, humor, and crash-y stuff! Tis a generous amount of enjoyment with the generous pony included in this fun lil' fic! Hope ya didn't mind, but I made a lil' reading on this sporty fic of yours!
Audio Linkyloo!: https://youtu.be/9abD4JmbqN8
(I don't mean to offend anyone with this comment in any way!)
10872954 Or you could, y'know, just build cars that don't try to murder unwary drivers.
But then it wouldn't be Italian, now would it?
10872894
Ford Pintos don't really explode. You could roast to death in an early (1971-1976) Pinto hatchback or coupe (but not the station wagon of any year) because in a rear-end collision there's a potentially lethal 1-2 KO: the collision could compress the fuel cell into the rear axle, sparking a fire and simultaneously warping the body of the car so that the doors were no longer able to open. "The BBQ that seats four" was the Pinto's nickname, and that's a pretty apt description of it.
Of course, in Hollywood, a door ding is enough to make any car erupt in fireworks.
A Yugo rolls to a stop smoke bellowing from it's windows - Rarity's ride home
Thank you my Spikey but must you smoke while driving ?
You should check out Tree Huggers Van.
Blue Blood had a coach with cruise control... You can guess how his trip ended
with the spare tire in his caboose
Along with the bumper hitch jack and signal flares - That'll put blood on the highway
After doing some research, I presume that Rarity mistook the Diablo's carbon-fiber body for plastic. Because if it's actually made of plastic, she may very well have been ripped off and got a counterfeit Lamborghini.
Also everypony knowns that Pinkie is the best driver out of the Mane 6. Pinkie Sense is better than any blind spot monitor.
10872251
Nothing stopping you taking our produce or vegetarian meals through and exchanging them for bits. We do have lots of fruits and vegetable options.
*sighs* And I'd bet good money Rarity doesn't even have an interdimensional driver's license, doing that to a Lambo.
Wrecks economies, wrecks high-performance sport cars...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cyB4E8-1PTM
That's it. She is getting the squirt bottle. With ice water.
10872195
That’s an expensive mod, though.
One of my pet peeves, TBH. And I love it when comedies call Hollywood out on that.
10872218
There’s DLC in the blog post, that’s not as good as a second chapter, but it’s something. . . .
10872226
Thank you!
10872251
I expect that rules would go in place very quickly to normalize the currency (and not allow ponies to carry actual bits in the to the US).
10872280
Hey, she’s got a horn, too. She could drive with that.
And if I can ever find it again, there was a guy who taught more than one horse to drive an actual automobile.
10872285
Probably a fair bit, just in salvage parts. I’d have to guess tens of thousands, especially if you part it out.
Of course she is.
10872292
That would (or if it got off road, it’d be a match for the smaller trees). Not really her style, though.
Funnily enough, one of Ford’s automotive service divisions is called Rotunda. (Tools, IIRC)
10872370
I’d roll with it. Figure worst case, it’s going to make a great story at the funeral.
10872415
Eh, at least it wasn’t a 30s Cord.
And the important thing is that everypony was okay, and Donna’s got a Lambo in her garage now.
10872430
Yeah, there’s a good chance the engine and transmission survived, with minimal or no damage. And a lot of the interior parts would be worth a fair bit, too, as well as any body panels that made it through with little to no damage.
I don’t know the market for those, but I did some quick googling and a set of reconditioned rims for that car is like 12k, and if she just bought it the rims that didn’t get damaged in the collision are probably good enough to sell for 3k each. More if they’re got the tires on them.
10872458
Exactly!
10872553
Just save your bits.
I haven’t seen a Crosstrek, I don’t think. I assume that’s a fairly new model (or a not-in-the-US model)?
10872582
To be fair, unless things go badly wrong, you don’t tend to have high speed crashes in wooden or iron carts. And the physics aren’t intuitive as speeds ramp up (nor the fact that the cart surviving more-or-less intact doesn’t reflect on how the occupants did).
I mean, that is historically accurate. Not great for the cart pulling ponies, though.
10872610