Pinkie's trying to solve a murder, but other things keep distracting her. Like Rarity. And the missing corpse. And Rarity.

Winner of the Quills and Sofas Speedwriting Group's Utterly Normal Contest #1: Watching Bread Rise contest with the prompt "Killing Time."

A special thanks to The Drider Pony, The Legendary Bill Cipher, Zontan, and Lofty Withers for editing, prereading, and delightful commentary.

Featured on 2/25/2020 (albeit briefly). Thank you so much!

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 34 )

holy heck this is adorable

Oh my god. This is brilliant. Sherlock Pinkie and Nior-Rarity.

Great story! The first thing I have to note is that you got the quirkiness and silliness of Pinkie's mind down perfectly! I almost put this in my "Amazing Stories" bookshelf because of how adorable and enjoyable Pinkie's shenanigans were, but it felt just a little too slow in the beginning of the middle and bits here and there throughout the first half, despite the consistently smile inducing Pinkieing. I tend to enjoy stories that have more dialogue.

Thanks for reading the story. I'm sorry you felt the pacing was rough. I wrote it in an hour for a contest, so I'm pretty proud of it, and I didn't get that note from anyone else. I'll take a look at it later.

That was the idea! I love those episodes!

Thank you very much!

An hour? Damn. Imagine how good it'll be after more polishing. Also, when you say "that note," are you referring to the pacing or the dialogue?

I did polish it. I had 4 amazing people read over it and they all loved it, and gave me a few things to fix, and I fixed them. The fic is where I'd like it to be, but I'm sorry it didn't meet your standards. Since most of it was an internal monologue, I didn't add more dialogue, and I don't really plan to. Most of my other fics have more dialogue, though, so feel free to check them out if that's what you prefer~

And I'd meant your pacing critique. I didn't even know that you'd demoted it from your "amazing" shelf... nor did I really need to know that. (While I'm sure you didn't intend it to be so, including that information can actually be rather insulting.)

Either way writing it in an hour is pretty impressive. Also, it didn't meet my standards, it surpassed it. That's why I called it great. And you don't need to necessarily add more dialogue. I just think some parts could be work shopped a bit to make it just that little bit better.

Sorry you were insulted. I just meant to use that bit as a transition to discuss my issues. Also, I didn't exactly demote it? Amazing definitely isn't the standard I start from before going down. I just read the story, and after thinking about it, I decided great because of the aforementioned flaws and it's also really hard for me to put something into amazing.

this was amazingly cute!
one should totally listen to some film noir type music while reading it to help set the mood.

Got any recommendations?

you should try and read it again with some of that slow soft jazz that everyone thinks of when they think of the black and white deceive movies, might make the pacing feel more right!

I just grabbed something off youtube because i didn't want to spend the time searching, though I'm sure a more careful selection would make the read even better!

That was some good quality Pinkie. Definitely her train of thought: only hers would get distractedly derailed so many times only to jump back on the tracks.

Also, I've said it before but:

Nopony could solve a mystery like Pinkie!

This has a double meaning.

And if you want noiresque music, might I suggest the following:
The Husker Bee Ballroom (Night in the Woods)
Pyrite Town and The Under (Pokemon Colliseum)
The Pink Panther Theme (befittingly)

Nice job. :pinkiesmile:


Damn, that was awesome! One of the most 'Pinkish' stories I've read! And you say it took only an hour :pinkiegasp:? Share your magic with me :trollestia:!

It's stories like this that nourish the heart long after the show has come to a close. It was adorable, it was funny and it was made the idea of Pinkie and Rarity as a couple both believable AND endearing. Well done :twilightsmile:

Gosh, you're making me tear up! Thank you very much!

Thank you! My "magic" is panicking while trying to get something down on paper. I like speedwriting challenges because at the end of the time period, you've written something. It may be crap, but that's more words on paper than you had an hour or so ago!



Oh, I can relate to the panicking part, but THIS is not just 'something!' This is simply excellent, and sounding exactly like Pinkie with all her antics and silliness :pinkiesad2:!

If you can spew something like that in an hour, then I'm literally lost for words. It would take me a few days to write something like that, and it wouldn't be near as good...

Awesome! That's all I have to say :raritywink:

Again, I'm flattered... though for this, specifically, I just let my ADHD-riddled brain go off on silly tangents and puns instead of making myself focus. Pinkie's super-duper-ice-cream-scooper fun to write! I guess it's just the trick of finding out what you enjoy writing, and then doing that.

To be fair to Pinkie "Killing Thyme" is probably some pony's name somewhere... Possibly a short-order cook?

the time killer

So king crimson from jojo’s bizarre adventure

The seemless transitions from paragraph into paragraph, The hilarious comedy which always seemed to leave me asking for more, the amazing development over the course of this story...

Basically I'm trying to say that if this isn't featured then Detective Pinkie will be on another case.

Thanks for the kind comment! You made my day!
It was featured briefly on the 25th (that was the day Buster Knutt reposted allll their stories and took up 4 spots in the feature box, so it was not a long-lived feature, but it still counts! I hope!)

This was clever and cute. The real mystery was what led Pinkie to this situation of daydreaming a murder investigation. If one reads very carefully, you can reach the same conclusion as the ending of the story.

The Rarepie was cute and provides a fun means of distraction for Pinkie in her so called investigation but I never did get the impression that they were in a relationship. It felt kinda added on which is a shame.

Overall a nice one shot to read on one of Pinkie's antics.

ohhhhhmygosh I love it! Love it, love it, love it, absolutely incredible!

Wish they’d tell the authors that -/- but glad your happy :)

Author Interviewer

Those crime drama books Rarity read said so, and Rarity knew best about drama

This is one of the funniest lines in ponyfiction I have ever read. XD This whole thing was great.

I'm super glad you enjoyed it! Just saw the review! Thank you very much, I didn't think I'd ever be highly recommended, but I'm happy you enjoyed reading my fic!

Good stuff! :pinkiesmile:

I am vaguely reminded of Alice in Wonderland, where the Hatter was stuck in perpetual teatime because the Queen had declared "He's murdering the time!" An expression meaning he was singing out of rythm.

You do a really good job of capturing Pinkie's randomness, a lot of the ways she gets off topic with her thoughts and how her thought process in general works genuinely feels a lot like her. I can sort of do her silliness and childlike nature, but it's a lot harder for me to write her unpredictable of randomness. You do it so well a lot of this feels exactly like the way she would do it if a situation like this were to happen in the show, the fact that this whole ordeal happened over a mishearing of a single word is exactly like her, well done!

Predictable, but great fun.:heart:

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