• Member Since 7th Feb, 2012
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Music ponies are best ponies.


Twilight Sparkle is a successful mare - it's hard to do better than a pair of alicorn wings and a crown! Which leads her to wonder - why is she still single? Perhaps Rarity, connoisseur of all things romantic, will hold the answer?

Now has a reading thanks to StraightToThePointStudios!
Now has a reading thanks to Cloud 9!
Now translated into Chinese thanks to xieyuesanxing!
Now translated into Russian thanks to GreatDragonLord!
Now translated into Spanish thanks to SPANIARD KIWI!

Lovely cover art by VladiVoices commissioned by Cloud 9 for their reading (link above).

Top spot in the Featured box 1/2/20 - 1/5/20!

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 149 )





I like it!

In all fairness, Tempest is much more foced on Twilight than the others. She was only in the movie, and last few seconds of the finale.

Twilight has more combined screen time with Sunset, who was never in Friendship is Magic, than Tempest. If I had to choose one though.

I'd pick Luna. My first ship when I started the show, and Luna Eclipsed only confirmed it. Rest... I got nothing.

You know, if Sunset Shimmer wasn't explicitly mentioned, the reader could pretend this is a timeline where Princess Sparkle never went to the human world and swooned over a certain blue-haired guy there.

Alternately, Princess Twilight literally forgot he existed, which is... really sad. :twilightoops:

Starlight would definitely jump at the chance to be with Twilight.

Trixie does nothing but cause Starlight problems. A relationship between the two wouldn't last a month before Starlight ended up murdering her.

This story made me laugh WAY too many times! Great work! Glad I happened to be online when it popped up. :pinkiehappy:


You know, I thought about adding Brad to the list of interests Twilight has had, but I didn't. Not because I'm on the bandwagon of hating Brad/Flash Sentry, but just because I wanted to keep the list of interests to just a couple. Plus, I remember seeing in the EqG content at least once or twice that Brad misses and wants to see Twilight Prime again, but I couldn't remember Twilight ever returning the favor.


I'm glad to hear that! Thanks for reading and commenting :pinkiehappy:

By the fifth disgruntled unicorn, yeah, it's safe to say she has a type.

On an unrelated note, why are unicorns so prone to going nuts and becoming neurotic messes? Does that horn of theirs stick into the brain?

errant #9 · Feb 2nd, 2020 · · 2 ·


That's the best argument against those two I can think of. Really, I think they are better as vitriolic friends who get on each other's nerves but do actually care a lot.

I appreciate your reading and commenting!


I'm so glad I could provide a few laughs! :raritywink:


That's true. I've read a lot of fanworks that feature Tempest and Twilight, either as friends or partners, and that's crept into my headcannon.

Personally, I also think Luna would be the best choice, with Starlight as a second place.


I have a theory that more powerful unicorns naturally channel more magical energy through their horns, which has a side effect of zapping their brains a little bit. Which would explain why so many powerful unicorns are a bit . . . off.

Which is why I wondered if she literally forgot about him. Flash Sentry's overall story is actually kinda sad. Especially since he's a good person, though he handles it pretty maturely.

Well, aside from Flash and going by the story's logic, there's also Stygian, Sunburst, and Starswirl. Apparently, Rarity doesn't do straight ships. :pinkiegasp:

I think it's more that you have to have power before you can abuse it. Trixie without the amulet was just annoying, with the amulet she became a genuine threat. Simple truth is, Unicorns are OP. In the words of Cargill:


Honestly, I think Brad does make for a really interesting character for those reasons and I've seen at least one fic that dove into that.

For the sake of this story, Twilight is exclusively into mares. Rarity is perceptive enough and knows her friends well enough to pick up on that, even if it isn't exactly advertised. :raritywink:

One possible reason no stallion has ever asked Twilight out is cause their are far more mares in Equestrian then stallions. But most of all Twilight is always befriending mostly mares, the very rare stallions like Flash Sentry are always put in the friend zone and Twilight never even made and attempt to have a relationship and Twilight dose not even ask if someone wants to go on a date.

and thus Twilight became a harem protagonist.


A reformed villain harem (or reverse harem) would be one of the few harems I think I’d actually watch.

In Rainbow Rocks she's does look happy when it is mentioned that he was asking about her.


This is true, and it's probably a reason that the Mane 6 get shipped with each other so much too.


Huh, I forgot about that :derpyderp1:

Maybe a story can be done with the reality of being alone asmost of the main 6 will be stuck single for much of their life and then it hits them that are to few stallions in equestria and they missed out on a chance to fall in love in part cause their are just to few stallions and they cannot stop keeping the ones they know in the friend zone. Cause they get to bashful and won't say the words that would get them into a relationship.

Basically, Twilight needs a stallion villain she can redeem and then befriend, and then something more. Face it: She's got a thing for the baddies. :pinkiehappy:

The darker ones implied that Starlight had come out on top of their struggle and reduced Twilight to a brainwashed thrall.

I admit, that's certainly more likely than Starlight having somehow discovered an old and barely-known Star Swirl time travel spell that doesn't apply to the causal loop the previous time travel spell adhered to, managed to figure out how to use this new ancient spell, and not win in a crushing victory.

Starlight's already shown to have prowess with 'convincing' ponies to obey her - she was a cult leader, after all - so that rumour might not be far off...who knows, maybe she just planted the idea of a wholly different form of time travel into the princess's and Spike's minds in order to not be an outlaw anymore. The eventual position of power Twilight later granted her at the school was just an unexpected bonus.

Hehehehe. Oh oh please do a sequal!!


I mean, we've seen Starlight use effective control at least twice (Every Little Thing She Does and Starlight the Hypnotist) so that's fair!


People seem to have really liked this idea, so I may do a sequel to pick up where it left off.


The only really redeemed male villain was Discord, and I subscribe to the idea that he's taken by Fluttershy. :yay: I don't think Neighsay or Flim and Flam count in that regard.

This was a fun story. Good to see Rarity cut through Twilight's thought process. As some comments mentioned, it is a bit odd to exclude the one character Twilight has canonically shown romantic interest in, but eh.

Well if the show is any indicator Twilight's actual type and her perceived type are two very different things. He perceived type is Bad Girl, her real type is Military Man. It's fasionable to present the Main Six as all gay and or bisexual, but really it's only AJ and Rainbow. Twilight wants a stallion like her brother, but everypony thinks she wants a bad made. Homosexual mistaken for heterosexual is kind of car cliche when people think of the situation of "mistaken sexuality", I know this personaly as a few times I've been mistaken for a closeted gay. Believe me it's just as cringe to be asked why you don't have a boyfriend as a straight man as it is if your a lesbian.

Mmmmyes I liked this. It's cute, it's short, it was Twilight being an adorable spazz and Rarity playing the straight mare to it. Very good dynamic between them. I really enjoyed how you characterized Rarity in particular, she has depth and it's good.

Perfect choice of cover art too, absolutely flawless.

Twilight confirmed for absolute mad lad lover. She needs to tap into her inner chad and make it happen.

Lovely story! My only criticism would be the monolithic paragraph lengths, but that's more of a nitpick than anything. Well done!

This was a really good story ,I love how you get into the heads of each character during the conversation perfectly encompassing how they go about their thought processes and how they differ.
I would love to see a sequel,twilight dating simulator sounds fun!

Also princess of anxiety had me dead. :trollestia:

RD is the one most likely to be considered a bad girl in their group.
She is also the most powerfull non unicorn magic "user" of them.
She shares twilights love for daring do.
She would get twilight to get out and move by flying around.
Loyal to the end. Most likely to be into mares as well.


Loyal to the end.

Objection: wedding.


Thank you! I appreciate the point that it was odd to exclude her canon interests. I'm saying that's 100% my bad because I honestly forgot that that was ever a thing :twilightblush:.


Thank you! I don't have much experience writing Rarity, but she's a fun character to get inside her head.


Judging by the series finale, she's got eyes for Applejack :rainbowderp: :heart: :ajsmug:

Technically there is only "interest", not "interests" as Timber only ever met Sci-Twi. Honestly though its not surprising one would totally forget Flash considering how bland he is compared to Sunset or Starlight oreven Tempest (who has a closer amount of total screentime). He's a hypergeneric non threatening love interest in a show for tweens and has all the character and depth of a drained kiddy pool.

I’d say kidnap the lot of them and try to start a harem. Chances are given who is on the list I’d think at least half of them would appreciate the extreme directness.

One other thing to keep in mind is that none of Twilight's Equestrian friends have met, interacted, or heard of Flash. So it makes good sense that he wouldn't enter the equation.

Come on Rarity, you know you want to give the Princess of Friendship a generous amount of love as well.

OK now I want a whole series on Rarity patiently explaining her oblivious friends their romantic preferences.

Anyway, the comics had a Nightmare Rarity arc, so maybe Twilight could ask Rarity for a few more pointers on dating. Perhaps... a practice date? Just for practice!

The darker ones implied that Starlight had come out on top of their struggle and reduced Twilight to a brainwashed thrall.

You know, when you think about it, that doesn't make sense.

Starlight's crimes are 1) being a cult leader in Bumfuck Nowhere, End Of Equestria and 2) a time travel plot that left no evidence and Twilight, Starlight, and Spike as the only witnesses. Unless Twilight specifically made an effort to disseminate knowledge of her crimes, which sounds very out of character, nobody outside Ponyville and Our Town even knows Starlight exists, and as far as Ponyville is concerned she was Twilight's student that showed up out of nowhere and likes to horn in on everything with magic. Honestly if there were any rumours about the two of them it would be Starlight being Twilight's secret sister, or daughter from the future. Once it comes out there was time travel involved.

It's only Tempest that rumours would be flying about, ranging from Twilight being broken by torture to become Tempest's slave and help with her coup against the Storm King, to Twilight being very kinky and into the lighting stuff. Which incidentally was also Nightmare Moon's weapon of choice.

Rarity's got a point.

I love this premise more than I should. I'd love to see a sequel to this. Have a like and a fav.

Or Berrypop Fizzletwist.

Fizzlepop Berrytwist, Rarity. :rainbowlaugh:

Twilight rolled her eyes. “Fair enough. But, um, who do you think I should I ask first?”

My votes on Luna or Tempest. I also found those ships adorable, because both parties would be equally useless at it. :rainbowlaugh:

Luna because she's woefully out of date. By this point she may have caught up on most things, but not everything. The post office still fascinates her for example, can you imagine one of their dates discussing the finer points of post office management?

Tempest because she's never had anything like that and wouldn't know where to start. Particularly trying to act tough but not always succeeding due to being a fish out of water.

This makes perfect sense.

~Skeeter The Lurker

This is cute and shippy and I am all for it.

Friggin' thank you. Boy was possessed of the strength of character to ditch Sunset before the events of EqG1, there are things to work with there.

Anyway, what's the betting that Rarity breaks out the punk persona and makes a play for Twilight's heart herself?

Rarity isn't necessarily a reliable source here. She didn't cross the mirror and wasn't present for the events of EqG1 or 2. Nor, I'm pretty sure, did she get a chance to spot Twilight blushing when interacting with pony Flash. And unlike Sunset, whose existence Celestia shared with and Twilight confirmed for the group, I don't believe Twilight ever told her friends about Flash (Pinkie knew though).

On the other hand, as Rarity pointed out, Twilight's affinities with Luna, Starlight, and Tempest were quite public and are common knowledge.

And of course Rarity herself may have a bias or interest in pushing Twilight towards bad girls :raritywink:

All that said, other possible left-field ships based on the "actually I like soldier boys" theory: Twilight/Flash Magnus, Twilight/Spearhead, Twilight/Gallus (future only).

Twilight's type is "sewn board binding". 📖

I’d enjoy a sequel to this story; it’s interesting and a fun read.

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