• Member Since 27th Sep, 2011
  • offline last seen Oct 20th, 2018

Earl Grey


E

Octavia is pointed in the direction of Carousel Boutique by a respected colleague. She intends to commision matching uniforms on behalf of her ensemble leader, the esteemed Frederic Horseshoepin. Octavia has misgivings however, when informed that the boutique in question is in Ponyville, a backwater farming town.

Can the proprietor of Carousel Boutique prove to the Canterlot mare that she has what it takes?

Chapters (1)
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Comments ( 62 )

Earl Grey is considered 'excellent taste'?:pinkiesick:

Aso it is spelled sewing.:raritywink:

Shipping alerts went off in my head. I wasn't expecting it to happen so late in the fic, but it somehow helped the effect. :twilightsmile:

Sequel perhaps? :pinkiehappy:

I also really like it.:trixieshiftright::rainbowkiss:

DAMN!!! That was a really good read. You did an amazing job through out the whole story. Although I still feel kinda bad for Twilight seeing as she seems to have a thing for Rarity. I really hope that this isn't the last we see of this story. You could easily turn this into a series or at least make a sequel to it. All in all it was really good to read this as a start to my day. :twilightsmile:

So sweet! I'm a huge Octavia fan, and this is the first time I've seen her paired with anypony but Vinyl :twilightsmile:

Beautifully written, polished, and well-paced. Only suggestion: more Raritavia please :raritywink:

I did enjoy this, a sequel would be really nice. :twilightsmile:

This is very well written: kept me interested all the way through. Can't help but feel it's unfinished though, there's a lot of questions raised that I'd love to see some answers to. Does Baton end up liking the ensemble? What happens with Sweetie Belle and the training? And, for the love of Celestia, where is this maybe-ship going?!!? I'd love to see a sequel, but I'll content myself with a like for now:rainbowwild:

This is sublime! Beautifully written, unique idea, very heart touching, and you just had to use two of my favourite Ponies! I think I'm going to cry. You are very talented, and I hope you continue this story on. :raritystarry:

This story was amazing, shipping bells went off in my head but I didn't expect something like this. No warnings alarms went off about mistakes that I could find at all. This was one of the few stories that I could believe to be perfect. :twilightsmile:

I absolutely loved this! It is very rare to come across something so well written. Like many other people are recommending, I would very much like a sequel to this charming tale. :raritywink:

I recommend you revising your work before you post, however. Although your writing technique is absolutely wonderful, you had a small handful of spelling mistakes and words missing here and there. Mind you, the mistakes were so small that anyone could easily know what you meant, but it was slightly daunting from your otherwise perfect writing.

Still, I would love to read more from you in the near future. :pinkiehappy:

Aw, you guys, :twilightblush:

945909

Earl Grey is a fantastic blend of tea, I'll have you know! You were right about the sewing thing though, I went and fixed that up.

945912

One of the things my pre-reader said when I first gave him the fic was that the relationship developed a little too fast, so I added scenes and moments in to make it more believably paced. I'm honestly not very good at the whole "writing the kiss" thing, so I tend to centre my ships around much more subtle stuff. (Although some could argue that Rarity was anything but subtle towards the end xD)

945963

Glad I could help you start your day on a good note =D

945978

Interesting note, I got the idea for this and subsequently began writing this fic a LONG time ago (Even interestingly-er enough, it started off as a fic where Octavia falls in love with Sweetie Belle whilst teaching her how to play the violin, but that was super creepy. by the way, season 3 semi-spoiler ahead) So when the rumour about Season 3 from Comic Con came around, about the Octavia/Rarity duet, I thought, I seriously need to finish this up and post it before the idea becomes more popular. Gotta get in on the ground floor, you know?

I agree though, this fandom needs more RariTavia (And CarrotJack damn it!), I tried finding a good picture for cover art with the two of them alone on it. I couldn't find one, so I settled on Octavia drinking tea like the classy mare she is.

946014

Baton Rouge is the leader of the Trottingham Orchestra who has no point in the story other than to act as a guide and flimsy link to the series. That link being, the pony behind the order in Stare Master. You know how Rarity has that gold-lined silk and needs to finish up about twenty robes by that night? I invented the Orchestra uniform idea to go along with that tidbit of info. I thought it was a kinda nice nod.

Sweetie Belle gets awesome at violin, maybe gets pressured to sing along with it. Boom, cutie mark. /trufax

946329

Thank you for the kind words. I honestly really enjoyed writing Octavia and Rarity as characters and how they appear in this fic, it was really fun getting their speech patterns down.

947310

Shipping bells ring for RareShips! Here's hoping that RariTavia and CarrotJack ring loud! Honestly though, Rarity = obsessed with Canterlot/High Class. Octavia = Classiest Pony bar none. HOW IS IT NOT MORE POPULAR!? Oh right... she's fanon married to Vinyl... don't get me wrong, I love the living hell out of ScratchTavia, but RariTavia is so cute.

947582

If it doesn't trouble you too much, could you possibly point out what errors you saw? I'm always looking to improve my fics in whatever ways possible and some small tweaks to grammar always help. Looking at your own work never gets you far in checking for errors, but it seems to work doubly so for me :ajsleepy:

And finally, if I didn't reply to you, thank you for taking the time to read my fic and leaving feedback, I appreciate all of it. You may have noticed that I never once responded to anyone's "sequel/continuation" questions, that's because of how bad I am at following up on my ideas. But know that there is definitely a "sequel" floating around in my head and has been for a very long time. It's quite a turn of pace from what you see here, but I really want to write it. I may not get around to writing it straight away, but know that there are well-developed plans.

I might have to get a short fic out of my system first though, something along the lines of Scrabble With Twilight and Selfcest. It's about the Mayor of Ponyville, so I'm pretty motivated to do it xD

Thanks again, everyone. The response has been really nice. You've all made MY day.

I sense heartbreak for Twi in the not so distant future. :twilightoops: Regardless, an excellent read! :twilightsmile:

948392

Nothing in particular. Like I said: A few sentences just miss a word here and there.
I remember one example (if I do remember correctly) is you put "understanding" when you meant "understand" or something along those lines. See? Nothing too major. Also you put "sow" instead of "sew" in one part. Just minor mistakes like that. I wholeheartedly encourage more of your wonderful work! I can admit I'm a bit jealous of your skills.

945909
Of course it is, that's the blend Princess Celestia drinks.

This was a really great read, first Octavia x Rarity I've ever seen. I liked how it focused on relationship building rather than having them tossed in with eachother followed by numerous make-out scenes.

I'd like to point out a small mishap, though. "and there's no time the present, as they say." in one of the first paragraphs after Octavia starts talking to Twilight. I think there's a few words missing there.

All-in-all I liked it a lot, I look forward to the possibility of a sequel :raritywink:

948392 Ehh, I'm spoiled by having multiple awesome teashops near where I live.

948392 True, in as much as all those points are well-wrapped up inside the story and technically don't need expounding upon any further. I would just like to see them investigated in further depth, purely because I loved this fic and would like to see some more. But there again, the brightest star is all the more beautiful for it's brevity, and perhaps another chapter would ruin a fantastic piece of writing. In any case, hearty congratulations are in order, and have a richly deserved :yay:

I think this story was lovely. The characterisation was superb, and the relationship changes very naturally. This isn't your usual shallow shipfic with mutually hidden crushes, yet it ends in the same warm fluffy feeling.

945909
Just go along with it, that's what I do. There's really no arguing with him. It's his name, after all :twilightsheepish:

--

And would you look at that, people actually like it. Who would have thought that such a far-fetched, ridiculously out there ship would get recognition? If you ask me, it's just a bit too prim and proper for my taste, maybe throw in a dashing DJ or a prismatic pegasus and we'll call it good :trollestia:

948947

Please, like Grey said, feel free to point out any and all mistakes you see, no matter the size. That way I know how many lashes I need to prepare myself for :pinkiesmile:

This was just charming. I really enjoyed it!:twilightsmile:

I'd love to see a sequel, though. :duck: *pokepokepoke*

955325

Who do you think you are? Some kind of pre-reader or something? Creepy glowy eyed, green unicorn guy.

957037

Thank you, and because you asked so nicely, "a sequel" That's what you wanted right? To see the words, a sequel? :derpytongue2:

957105 :pinkiehappy: It's everything I ever dreamed of! :facehoof:

That's a nice story, isn't it! Will there be a follow up? This story certainly seems worthy of one.

963668
I agree with Elzipper7. I would like to see a follow up. I would also like to see a story about Sweetie Belle and her violin.

1063092

Griffons have hands!

Okay... xD But still, I often find it hard to overcome my years of writing pokémon fanfiction. All those dudes and gals with hands, doing hand based things. Sometimes I forget about the hoofsies.

1063550

Whatever, man... but they still make using chopsticks easier.

And yes, I'm a big advocate of using British English, being a Brit myself (BUCK next week, whoo!) I even know a few Americans who prefer to use our system as it looks nicer. I also can't stand the pronunciation of the word 'mom', it doesn't sound as nice as 'mum'.

I like the way you build this relationship. I hope to see a sequel :raritystarry:

I agree, this needs a sequel!

That was a nice lil fic, although there is something that bugs me about it and Adored did the same thing. You end them too soon. Its like they just start getting into it and BOOM, the end. I haven't read your other stories but this one and Adored certainly could use sequels.

Well done!

I do not think that this needs a sequel, but I would be far from opposed to reading one! :raritywink:

Another finely written piece. It's paced well and the dialogue is all believable. It does absolutely beg for a follow-up.

Warning: This comment contains spoilers. If you don't want spoilers, DON'T read this comment!

Hiya Earl. I've just finished reading "Once More, With Feeling" and I am ready to give you a comment/critique. You may take these comments any way you wish; they are only here to help.

Let me begin with spelling and grammar. For the most part, it was good. There were a few errors here and there (like missing a punctuation mark at the end of a paragraph), but only one thing stuck out as consistent: your apostrophe usage--or better yet, your lack of apostrophe usage.

“If you really don't mind,” Rarity glanced over at the earth pony, who shook her head. “I'll have it done by the end of the day, Sweetie Belle. I'll bring it over to our parents (the parents own the house, so it should be "parents' ") house when I'm finished.”

It was exactly one week later, Rarity had finished up work on the cloaks for the ensemble and Octavia had reported their immediate success amongst her colleagues. Despite all of that though, it was her music lessons with Sweetie Belle that made her the happiest. Some days she would look at her eager pupil and see herself reflected in the fillies ("fillies" implies more than one filly. I'm sure you meant "filly's") eyes.

“Oh, right.” Octavia sighed, her mind had been thinking something else entirely when Rarity had told her to go her bedroom. Not wanting to force the matter, Octavia complied with the unicorns ("unicorn's ") request, walking up the stairs and entering the room she knew held Rarity's bed. She could hear the sound of the shop being locked up downstairs, followed a few seconds later by Rarity's hoofsteps on the stairs, but Octavia didn't move much. The earth pony merely sat on the edge of the bed, her face burning with embarrassment.

Just watch out for those, okay?

Prose-wise, you have A LOT of run-on sentences.

The orchestra had commissioned twenty robes for the musicians to wear whilst performing. The effect was something to behold, it really made it seem as if the orchestra was one cohesive unit working in perfect synchronisation. (this can be broken into two separate sentences, and should probably be so)

“That's why I've been sent here. Frederic, our ensemble leader, says that uniformity would behoove us. I imagine it would give us a certain je ne sais quoi, non?” Octavia wore a smug smile on her face, she was confident that the unicorn would understand her meaning, but it always felt good to stretch one's linguistic talents every now and then. (that first part should probably stand as either its own sentence or separated by a semicolon.

... Her parents travel so often that they aren't always in town, in fact, if it weren't for her friends, I'd feel sorry for her.” (Try something like "Her parents travel so often, they aren't always in town. If it weren't for her friends, I'd feel sorry for her.")

There were a lot more; I suggest reducing your comma usage by a lot.

Moving on to more important matters!

Your calm, delicate atmosphere, touched periodically with excitement--such as with Sweetie Belle's lessons and the party--were excellent. I daresay your atmosphere may be your strong point.

Characterization was done great as well. I like the portrayal of Sweetie Belle especially, since she's my favorite character. Also, I felt that the romance worked at an excellent pace.

Plot-wise, I agree with some other people: it felt incomplete. The resolution of Sweetie Belle's practicing ended much too abruptly (and I'm NOT just saying that because she's my favorite character), and I would've liked to see where the ensemble went. What is here, however, was very well done; I can't recall having Earl Grey tea, but those moments you have with drinks, and how they bring people together in various situations, was very well done.

So, overall, I enjoy this story.

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Anywho, your overall romance was excellent, as were the characters and atmosphere. Apart from the apostrophe usage and run-on sentences, I feel like more could be added to this, but that's just me.

The best of your talents with any other stories you may have!:twilightsmile:

That was such an adorable story ^^
I love Rarity ships for the most part, and any ship with Octavia that isn't Vinyl (Too common) or Luna (ALWAYS ENDS DEPRESSING! I swear :fluttercry:)
Raritavia is so adorable ^^
I wouldn't mind a sequel. If this is a single, it's a damned good one.

I like this.
It has a fine pace, very casual and ordinary, it really sets the mood.

I need to say this: your pacing and atmosphere are incredible!:heart::raritystarry:

This was all kinds of adorable, bravo

“Earl Grey, if you have it.”

I laughed... couldn't help it.

Don't think I don't know what you're doing! Just for that I'm going to... eh, who am I kidding *likes and faves*

Make more of this, Grey. I enjoyed this a lot, and WANT MORE.

I will be sure to bother you with this idea regularly.

2096510

Yes, I use that pun whenever I can. I'm a bad person =P

2106963

I'll make sure to pretend to listen to you. *nods*

I do actually have ideas for a semi-sequel to this but I never got around to writing them.

I don't think I've figured this story out. So many loose ends. So little love triangle related drama. A drunk confession of romantic interest that doesn't even use the word "love", the payoff.

Even if I tried to fill in the blanks, there's so little to do it with. Early on, there seemed to be hints that Rarity had feelings of some sort for Twilight. Or maybe she was aware of Twilight's feelings for her which she couldn't return, but didn't dare engage either for fear of having to reject her?

Even Octavia's feelings are a puzzle to me. Is it romance she desires, or simply closeness? The love of a friend or the love of a lover? It would be so interesting to see how she will act when the alcohol wears off.

And yet, it still says "Complete". It doesn't feel like that to me, but the author gets to decide these things.

2179208

you seem to be implying that a relationship is a simple thing. Last time I checked, it was a confusing mess of conflicting emotions.

It's hard to figure out how you really feel after so little time together and it's very, very rarely a cut and dry thing. The story lacks any real sense of direction or structure and it doesn't have a good payoff at the end, but a lot of the time, that's what an emotional minefield is. And sometimes, stories end before they can get started.

But that's okay, because it isn't the end of the world, after all.

2179298

"Complete" in the story summary according to the fimfiction.net layout means that the author has decided not to continue that particular story anymore, nothing more and nothing less. This story isn't complete, or intended to be, and I realize that. It's not simple, either, and I realize that, too. I didn't write "I don't think I have this story figured out" for nothing, after all; it's a massive understatement. Communication is a minefield, too. Once you get right down to it, communication and relationships are probably parts of the same minefield altogether. Even saying that, though, is probably a gross oversimplification.

I'm not perfectly convinced, though, that in the realm of relationships or communication there isn't room for simplicity as well. Moments of a close approximation of truth. Morsels of guidance. Just to make the rest that much more complicated.

I'll take a shot at it: I liked reading the story. I'm grateful that I got the opportunity. I'd have liked to hear more. Best wishes!

2179629

Never mind me, I was just being vague and wistful xD

Your points are incredibly valid. Nothing much happens and it leaves too much to interpretation and I really should do something with it. I might rewrite it at some time, maybe EqD would like it then.

Rarity x Octavia shipping? Sure I'll give it a read, see what happens.

After reading: That was fantastic! I really enjoyed the flow and despite being a one-shot (albeit a long one), it didn't feel rushed at all. Your characters were believable and relatable and your writing style was captivating. I really hope you'll put out a sequel to this, I would love to read more of this.
Now off to see if you have other riveting tales!

A very nice story! Thanks :twilightsmile:

A wonderful, soft, and pleasantly paced romance. I can see the two high society ponies hitting it off and falling for each other rather easily. A marvelous read, thanks for sharing.

What madness is this? I come here looking for Octalight, and get Rartavia. While it's a ship I never thought of, it's handled quite well here. You've certainly left yourself open to sequels, at least. That being said, You may want to go over this again. There's a lot of grammatical mistakes here, the worst of which being that you seem to confuse pluralization with possessive nouns and pronouns (even going so far as to use ponies instead of pony's, once). :twilightsheepish:

Hmm... Necropost at it's finest. This... Well, the ending came out suddenly. It doesn't feel forced by any means, but... Sudden. One would expect RariLight out of this, to be honest. And this one was... Sudden, yes, there really isn't a better word to describe it. No sequel/follow-up, I'd assume?

This was a really great read, but I am left wanting more. I want to know what happens. There are so many open threads. A possible love triangle with Octavia, Rarity and Twilight. Sweetie Belle's progress. Did Fredric like the capes? So many questions.

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