X - To End
Sunset had absolutely no clue how to begin, specifically because she had no idea how long she had left. As the dreamscape seemed to swell and shift around her, she desperately wracked her brain for a suitable starting point. If she began with Anon-a-miss, Twilight would initially get caught up in the bullying and drama aspect. Should Sunset be unable to explain herself fully, Twilight may do something entirely rash, like marching through the portal seeking revenge. Sunset felt her stomach knot up at the thought of Twilight trying to—
“Sunset...?”
She looked up, her racing thoughts interrupted. Twilight stared at her, concern weighing heavily on her face.
“Sunset, you have to talk to me. I can’t help if I don’t know what the problem is,” Twilight said.
“No one can help me, Twilight,” Sunset said, her face obscured by her long hair. “That’s... That’s why I needed to see you.”
Twilight knelt down beside her. “What do you mean?”
“I...” Sunset crossed her arms and curled up, burying her face in her gown. A rush of anguish shot through her, seemingly out of nowhere. “I don’t know! I don’t know what’s important, and I should have told you about all this stuff a long time ago when I had the chance and I didn’t and now I don’t—!”
“Listen to me, Sunset,” Twilight said, interrupting her. “It’s okay. We haven’t talked through the journal, but we’re talking now, see?” Sunset felt an arm wrap tenderly around her. “Just start from the beginning, alright?”
Sunset leaned into Twilight, taking several long, drawn out breaths. Within the warmth of her last friend’s embrace, Sunset found a sense of tranquil contentment that had evaded her for longer than she could remember.
“Okay,” she said. “Okay. So, things haven’t been going very well in my world.”
“I gathered that much,” Twilight said.
“Yeah... It’s worse than you think,” Sunset said. “So, there’s this website the students at CHS were using. On the computer. Oh, uhm... You remember how the computers work, right?”
“Of course,” Twilight said. “And a website is like a book page that anyone can see from any computer.”
“Yeah, exactly. Okay, so there’s this website, and there were posts going up revealing embarrassing secrets of students at CHS, including Applejack, Rainbow Dash and the other girls.”
“That’s awful!” Twilight said.
“Yeah, well...” Sunset sighed. “They all thought it was me.”
“What?”
Sunset felt Twilight tense up briefly.
“Yeah,” Sunset said. “And no matter how much I begged and cried and pleaded with them to believe that it wasn’t me, they refused. At first I was mad about it, but seeing how I used to act... I dunno. I can’t really blame them.”
“I can!” Twilight shouted, just a little too loud. Sunset winced as her headache took the opportunity to return.
“Nnngh... Twilight, please,” Sunset groaned.
“Sorry, sorry,” Twilight said. “But seriously! How could they do that? After everything you did to turn your life around!”
“It really doesn’t matter,” Sunset said, trying to relax again. “It was going to happen eventually, Twilight. After all the years I spent hurting them and driving them apart, there was no chance for me to earn their trust fully.” She glanced over to see Twilight’s fuming face. “If it hadn’t been this, it would have been something else.”
“I don’t think that’s true, Sunset,” Twilight said.
“Well, either way, without them I was pretty lost,” Sunset said. “At first I thought it was no big deal. After all, I’d survived by myself in this world for years, so I figured I’d be fine. But...”
“You didn’t want to,” Twilight finished for her.
“Y-yeah. I was only able to last so long on my own because, I dunno...” Sunset paused, thinking about how to describe it. “I guess I built up this callous shell around myself. I wasn’t concerned with being alone because I was so sure that I was better than everyone else anyways. But once you showed me that I could have a better life, there was no way I could ever go back to how I was before. But I couldn’t have that better life, because my friends wouldn’t listen.”
“Then we need to make them listen!” Twilight exclaimed, jumping up. “I’ll head through the portal and together we’ll talk some sense into them.”
“No, Twilight...” Sunset spoke softly. “It’s too late for that.”
“What?” Twilight looked at her, confused. “What do you mean?”
A shudder ran through Sunset’s body as she tried to respond. “Twilight, I-I... After a few weeks of nobody believing me, things started to get worse. People would send me really, really hateful messages and threats all day, every day. I couldn’t keep going to school, and I’d left our journal in my locker and I was too scared to go get it. I just stayed in my apartment, and... I didn’t leave for a long, long time. It was just me trapped with my own thoughts.”
“Oh, Sunset...” Twilight sat back down and pulled Sunset close again. “It must have been so awful.”
Even as Twilight held her, Sunset felt completely frozen over. She looked at her arm—smooth as it was in this ethereal place—and mentally steeled herself for what was to come.
“I hurt myself,” Sunset said. She was surprised by the bluntness of her words, as was Twilight, who pulled out of the embrace to look at her. Her violet eyes were a mess of confusion and concern.
“What do you mean?” Twilight said, barely above a whisper. “What did you do...?”
Sunset turned her head, unable to meet Twilight’s gaze any longer. “I used a razor to, uhm... To hurt myself. I’d done it a few times before this, actually. But I started to do it every day.”
Out of the corner of her vision, Sunset could see Twilight was trembling a bit. She cursed herself for bringing that detail up at all. Honestly, this whole thing was seeming like more and more of a terrible idea. And yet, she continued.
“Before you ask, I don’t really know why. It was a routine, I guess,” Sunset said. “And every day that it played out, my world got a little smaller and dimmer, until I only ever left my apartment a few nights a week to find something to eat. Which, uh, leads into why I needed to see you...”
Sunset braved a glance at Twilight. Her friend said nothing, leaning forward as if to hear Sunset a little better. The painful, rhythmic thump of Sunset’s heart in her ears was lost beneath the impossibly soft whimpering escaping Twilight’s lips.
“So, I ran into Rainbow Dash and Rarity,” Sunset kept talking, closing her eyes so she wouldn’t have to see Twilight’s tears. “And of course, they still thought I was posting their secrets online, so it didn’t go well. And I was really, really upset.” She paused, taking a few deep breaths. When she opened her eyes again, they were watering. “It felt like there was no way out, like I was trapped in a nightmare where everyone despised me for something I didn’t do. Every day it got worse, and I lost my friends and I had no one to turn t-to and I was so, so tired...”
Sunset saw Twilight’s expression transform from concern to despair as the realization dawned on her.
“Sunset...” Twilight breathed. “You didn’t...”
“I-I... Twilight, I’m sorry, you gave me chance to start over and I—”
Sunset’s words were cut off as Twilight nearly collapsed into her. Tears stung her eyes as Sunset felt her friend’s entire body shudder with sobs. Then, as Sunset had dreaded, questions started to pour out as well.
“Why didn’t you reach out to me?” Twilight cried.
“Twilight...”
“Why didn’t you tell me about any of this sooner? Sunset, I could have helped you!”
“Please, T-Twilight...”
“Tell me exactly what happened! Are you okay? Where are you now?”
Sunset drifted forward as a wave of dizziness passed through her, and she felt Twilight place her hands on her shoulders to steady her. “Nnnngh... I jumped off a building,” she said. “It was a really long way down.”
“Sunset, why would you do that?” Twilight kept shouting. Sunset could hardly blame her, but the volume was making her head hurt even more.
“I don’t know. I was tired... I was ready,” Sunset said, looking away.
“Sunset, look at me.” Twilight tilted Sunset’s head up. “You have to tell me exactly where you are right now. I’m can be there in—”
“No, Twilight!” Sunset suddenly shouted. Twilight was unfazed, even as Sunset continued. “No. I don’t want you to come through the portal. I didn’t want to see you to ask for help. There’s nothing anyone could do that would help me anyway.”
Twilight threw her hands up. “You can’t expect me to do nothing! You tried to kill yourself!”
“Please, just... Stay here. Stay with me.” Sunset choked up, the pain in her chest flaring. “I d-don’t want to be alone when it happens.”
Twilight looked as if she’d been asked a riddle. “When what happens?”
“Y’know, when it’s...” Sunset trailed off. “When it’s time for me to go.”
Twilight’s eyes widened. “No,” she said plainly, as if she were reciting a fact. “No. Sunset, you don’t get to go. I won’t let you.”
“I know you want to save me, Twilight. You want to save everyone. It’s what makes you so wonderful,” Sunset said, giving her friend a weak smile. “But with me... With me, there's nothing left to save.”
“Stop saying things like that!” Twilight cried.
“It’s okay, Twilight, really. I was able to see myself in the hospital, and I know I don’t have much time left,” Sunset said with a sigh. “If I’m being honest, I’ve known my life was going to end this way for a long time. Long before I met you, or even before I went through the portal. Maybe it’s my curse for turning my back on Celestia.”
Twilight kept crying. “Sunset, I’m not just going to sit here and watch you die!”
“I appreciate it, Twilight,” Sunset said. “I know you mean well. But it’s not like you can just drag me back to Equestria. Celestia would—”
“Forget about Celestia!” Twilight screamed.
Sunset stopped. “W-what?”
“Forget about her! And forget about the friends in your world who abandoned you!” Twilight’s voice was shaking. “You don’t need them, Sunset! If they made you hate living so much that you tried to kill yourself, then you’re better off without them!”
Sunset was absolutely stunned. “Twilight, that’s Princess Celestia you’re talking about...”
“I don’t care!” Twilight said. “She’s been the most wonderful mentor to me, but clearly she did not do the same for you, so you don’t need her! And those girls who look like my friends and have their names are not the same as my friends! And you don’t need them either!”
Sunset had never seen this side of Twilight before. She wondered if Twilight had, either. “Indignation isn’t enough for me to have a life worth living,” she said.
“Then we’ll figure out what is!” Twilight said. “I’m going to come over there, and you’re going to recover, and I’m going to stay in that world with you as long as you need.”
“I could never ask you to do that,” Sunset said.
“You don’t have to, Sunset! That’s what being friends is all about!” Twilight said. “And quite frankly, I’m going to do so whether you want me to or not.”
Sunset’s mind was suddenly buzzing. Everything Twilight had just said had been like a shock to her system, zapping away at her apathy. Maybe this could work. Maybe Twilight was right. Through her head throbbing, her ears ringing and her limbs aching, Sunset felt a slight twinge of hope.
“Sunset, you have to tell me where you are,” Twilight said.
“I-I... I’m in the hospital,” Sunset said. “I don’t know where it is exactly. It’s the only one in the whole city, though.”
“Okay. When we’re done talking, I’m going to go through the portal to find you,” Twilight said.
A smile tugged at Sunset’s lips, and she closed her eyes. Twilight would come find her. Together, they’d figure things out. “Y-yeah,” she said. “I’d like that.”
“It’s going to be alright, Sunset. I need you to believe that.” Twilight’s voice seemed to soften as she spoke. “I need you to tell me you...”
“What?” Sunset opened her eyes. Twilight was still next to her, though she was a little blurry. Sunset could see that her mouth was moving, but the words were muffled, as if she were underwater. Whatever she was saying was made even harder to understand by the ringing in Sunset’s ears.
“Sunset...Tell me... Alright.”
Sunset put her hands over her ears. The ringing was getting louder, so much so that it wasn’t even a ringing anymore. A single long tone sounded in her ears.
“Sunset...? What....?”
Her breaths came faster. Her chest hurt. It hurt worse than it ever had before. The edges of her vision grew darker and darker, until all she could see was the vague shape of a purple girl in front of her. Something grabbed her shoulders, and she heard a voice crying out. Through it all, the tone echoed.
“...No!”
What? Sunset couldn’t hear. Who was shaking her? She was so cold...
“...Sunset!”
The purple girl. She was crying. Why was she crying?
Whatever was happening, Sunset was ready for it to be over. She was really, really tired.
The purple girl was too bright, like a light too close to her face. The voice kept screaming.
It was too loud. Too bright. She needed everything to stop.
Sunset closed her eyes, and passed on.
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...this is a cruel ending.
...sequel?
well there you go CMC, Sunset is now out of your sisters' lives
hope it was fucking worth it you little leeches
nice work
This story means a lot to me, both as a survivor of self-harm/suicide and as someone who still struggles with both. I hope I did justice to the complex emotions that come with such a theme.
I will be discussing this story in the comments over the next few days. If you have a question for me, I'll do my best to answer it. Thank you for reading.
For a second I thought that was a glimmer of hope at the end... but of course it was just fading into peace. At this point I was pretty sure this was what was going to happen, an end befitting of a tragedy, but knowing it doesn't make the experience of actually reading it any easier. Thank you for this little downward spiral, and though it ends in nothingness, I feel like I've learned something along the way.
Sequel please!
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oh nooo
now im scared to read it
I really liked this story right up to the last chapter, then it went to hell in a hand basket. No confrontation with the perps , no chance for redemption for them, or Sunset. The reaction of their kin and foster sister is going to be off the charts and will destroy them as well.
Three more deaths on the way, mental and most likely physical as well.
quickmeme.com/img/5a/5a594c30c37db765a820796ab96b94d3283cbd143afe0af99ba0480d6ae0f7c8.jpg
9373069 Regarding the fallout of what the cmc did, and what they ultimately caused? Oh hell yeah, there has to be. The humane 5 get to feel the aching guilt that they drove their 'friend' to a successful suicide. But what about the cmc, when they learn about what they did. We need to see what will happen to them, and how the students Canterlot High.
9373071 And depending on what the author does, they too will no longer be part of their sister's lives as well. If they families even want to associate with them afterwards.
Good night, sweet princess.
Wow. All I can say is bravo. You should show the aftermath as a form of closure.
When Sunset started to feel hopeful, I started yelling out "YES" over and over...then she started to fade away and I was muttering "No". Loved this story and will miss checking if the next chapter is up every day
I... can painfully relate to this. As someone who has both attempted and known someone who succeeded, there are a bunch of conflicting emotions I have with this. It is well done, and... I relate. Sometimes hope just comes a too late to save them from themselves.
Really well done, and not the ending I was expecting. But it was real, and I greatly appreciate that.
Please have a sequel. That would be great.
I feel like this ending is fitting. But at the same time, I feel like it's not? It's a weird feeling.
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A blog might be better? The story-tagging feature is pretty neat.
I feel like there needs to be an epilogue of some kind, although maybe it’s just me but I think one could interpret the ending not as Sunset dying, but actually leaving the dream world and returning to her body, possibly because she seemed like she regained some will to live thanks to Twilight, but that may just be me wanting a less tragic ending and reading to deep into it. Either way, I hope to see more of a conclusion to this story despite its complete status.
Hello i have a question will there be a aftermath/sequel or is this it? i'm fine where we stand but i feel this leaves something to be desired?
still this was one of the better fanfics i've read in a while good work, thanks for writing
Rare.
Goodness. The ending... I thought sunset was... gonna-
(I think this song sums up the mood of this chapter quite well.)
While I have not read this yet; I find it ironic that the basic idea is similar to a story I was writing, but haven't posted. Coincidences only; nothing was copied
This aint it chief. We need an epilogue, or a few more chapters, or a sequel. We need to witness Twilight put the human mane six (or whatever they are called) in their place, verbally and/or with a few slaps if needed. We need her to deliver a 50 megaton "the reason why you suck" speech unto them and the human CMC.
Love it! I hope the very first sentence that Twilight tells them is, "I hope you're proud of yourselves, isn't this what you five always wanted?"
But that's just me
I feel like I need an epilogue about the fallout this caused. I also feel like it’s better to leave it how it ended because of how well the ending was done. In all honesty I don’t know what I want other than to say thanks for the story.
Please tell me that there will be an epilogue featuring Twilight crossing the portal and promptly kicking the girls’ asses so hard their teeth shatter.
I certainly wouldn’t mind an epilogue, either confirming the bad outcome or revealing a possible good one. Impressive either way.
and as of now the CMC are criminals, that'll be manslaughter probably in the first degree if the prosecutors good.
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Lots of people want to see the punishment for the CMC, a confrontation between Twilight and the girls, or simply the aftermath. And I can relate. But this story was not about the CMC or the other girls. It was about Sunset. And it looks like Sunset's story is over.
To tell the stories that these people are looking for, and do them any justice, they should really be a separate story.
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO, SUNSET
It can't end this way ;-; Not yet ;-;
As much as I really want to see when Twilight gets to that hospital room, this is a really powerful place to end the story.
Oh, Sunset...
If only you could have seen this world in a better light. If only you could have known the happiness that this world has to offer. Instead, it beat you down, and you could no longer see any hope in this world. And it became so easy to let go, with nothing to hold on to...
May your soul float worry-free in the depths of the unknown.
This was probably one of the hardest things for me to write
M-Maybe Sunset is waking up in the human world! P-Please?
Please please tell me there will be a sequel? I.. this... this can't end this way!
Sequel please?
Well Twi is going to need some therapy. And Luna might need to hold her back. If she goes through the portal right now I'm seeing a body count the way she is feeling.
And if she tells off Celestia? Tells that mare that Sunset didn't come home because she was afraid of her? That she is part of the reason that Sunset is gone. Barring Sunset simply slipping into a coma and not being fully gone, just no longer dreaming, the fallout from this, on both sides of the mirror...
Eh....I have mixed feelings about this. At first the only thing I felt was disappointment, but after mulling this over, it's been mostly replaced by sadness.
But I liked this ending- it was beautifully written and the fact that it evoke strong emotions says something. Overall I really liked this story and it was nice to read every chapter as it updated. And...as nice as it would be to see Twilight chew out everyone on this side of the mirror...unfortunately like Aburi said...this is Sunset story, and it's apparently over. The rest just might be left to imagination. 
And like in Danganronpa, hope here amounts to jack shit.
This is where this story should end. Its a very powerful note to end on and I would only suggest a sequel if the story can pick up an equally powerful note not only at the beginning but at the end as well. So, unless you are confident in your ability to top this story and make another outstanding story. I have confidence in your ability if you so choose.
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Why was I included in that bunch?
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Hit the wrong reply button. Screen jumps to the bottom each time I select one and I messed up when scrolling back up.
Sorry about that
9374436
No worries, dude. It was just weird seeing my comment in the same pile as the others
Good story. Though it was not for me. I probably should be more careful when reading tragic stories, or avoid those. Such endings make me rather depressed.
So, I don't think I will read the sequel, but wish you the best for your future writing.
I am not a clever person. I absolutely should not be reading stories like this when I’m not in the most stable of states... especially when my body is still adapting to the antidepressants. I’ve read some really soul-crushing stuff in the past, and have even written something horrific in one of my darker moments, but this hit me hard.
I went into this story knowing that I shouldn’t be reading the likes, especially while on antidepressants, but you know what? I don’t regret it in the least. There are a lot of emotions in this story that I identify with, but at the same time, it’s... strange as it is, it’s uplifting to read it. I say this because I know I’m not at that point. That I won’t be trying to kill myself, even in lacking any close friends in real life to mourn me. Things aren’t great for me but I’m comforted by this story because I know I’ve still got the drive to live.
Gosh, I'm a huge sucker for revenge porn, and I probably would have been satisfied if you had just left it as such, but I love and applaud the way that you made it heartwrenching and hopeful and suspenseful with no inclination for whether Sunset would survive. Every tearful confession and pain-ridden outburst was done just perfectly.
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Thanks, hon. Glad you liked it.
I avoid Anon-A-Miss like the plague. I'm glad this thoughtful piece was the exception. Thank you for using self-harm/suicide tags too.