This story is a sequel to Bad Habits
Eighteen days ago, Wallflower promised Sunset that she would stop hurting herself. She's never regretted anything more.
Chapters (1)
Scampy
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Scampy · 2.3k words · 118 11 · 2.5k views
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This...almost seems like a self-fulfilling prophecy, really....
Wally noooo.
You made 18 the first time. Aim for 19 with the next.
I've been where you are Wallflower. I know how hard it can be to fight those feelings, and how bad you can feel when you give into them.
Just remember, Sunset won't give up on you, no matter what.
Scampy why can't Wally be happy :(
Wallflower's inner turmoil, the way she argued back and forth with herself, the way her mind drifted between almost-compromises broken by the briefest flashes of resolve, only to inevitably come swirling back again, absolutely squeezed my heart. And to see this inner conflict, the struggle between keeping her promise and feeding what has essentially become a part of her life, coated with a such a thick layer of self-disgust...
What really gets me about this is that this is just a snapshot into a single moment of a single dayout of eighteen. I can only imagine what the days before were like. Similarly, I can only dread what comes after she tells Sunset. Even if Sunset were to handle the situation well (which I'm pretty sure she would (gosh I hope she would)), would it be enough to assuage Wallflower's disappointment in herself? It's hard to ignore hurtful things when you say them to yourself.
Oooh I hope that Wallflower keeps on trying her best.
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Wally noo child i can't say it'll be okay but.. I can't think of anything else to say
Noooo, I thought Wallflower would make it to nineteen
Good to see honest stories like this. Hope it has a happy ending.
Of all your stories that I was expecting a continuation of, Bad Habits certainly wasn't one of them. But once again, I’m glad you decided to write this.
You have a real way of delivering some quite broad-reaching, uncomfortable truths about depression as part of a single snapshot in time. The defeatist attitude to the point that going back to day zero becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy, those flickers of justification (or as she put it, “cheating”), and the way it all eventually comes back to that overwhelming feeling of being worthless and beyond help and deserving it.
You’ve managed to capture all this very neatly in a mere one thousand words, and it’s definitely entering “I’m in this photo and I don’t like it” territory. It’s interesting that you describe it as an almost physical urge, though I've read that it’s not uncommon. But again, the way you’ve presented it, it’s… understandable. Wallflower feels the urge to cut, so that’s all she can think about, just like how you suddenly notice how dry your mouth is when you’re thirsty.
It always feels wrong, liking and favouriting your stories; they're not exactly material that you can smile at and give a thumbs-up. But I guess that in the absence of an "I admire what you've made and appreciate the respect and exposure you're giving to a subject matter often overlooked and over-dramatised" vote, it'll have to do.
Oh I seen something in myself I shouldn’t have. Thanks for making this? I dunno
What’s a cartridge?
She shouldn't have asked, but that doesn't make Wally stupid.
More great prose here. I can feel the words dripping as I read them. Wally's turmoil, frustration, and struggle was very well-done. You can convey emotion through the third-person perspective really well. Not everyone can, so you should be proud of that.
The thing is, Wally, tomorrow is a new day. A time where you can step right in and start again.
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Sunset screwed up, she did not give Wallflower the support she needed to stop cutting herself and simply asked her to stop. In doing so she made everything so much worse.
That external accountability seemed so solid at first. Keeping Sunset happy, keeping her from worrying, keeping a promise. And watching Wallflower poke and prod at that dam for weaknesses was painful, because she seems very good at it.
But it was amazing to see that there was something in her fighting back. Reminding her of the promise, and even using her own self-loathing against those urges. It was just as heartbreaking to see those urges win out in the end, adapting around her new defenses. And once the dam breaks, what’s left to stop the flood? (I really felt that last part, since it is something in my thought patterns as well.)
Still, the one line she could not cross was lying to Sunset. That made me hope that something was planted in her that could grow. Eighteen days this time, but maybe longer the next.
Another moment captured powerfully. Thank you for it.
Yikes, this one is a lot more toned down compared to the last one, but even then, it still hits just as hard. Wallflower remarks that although refraining is making Sunset happy, it isn't making her happy. I'm sure she knows that nothing will change even if she follows through, but she's just so done with living day by day with nothing happening that she's willing to do it.
The progress though, is notable. It takes her so much effort just to make on quick cut, whereas previously she was making plenty at a much slower pace. She has to physically force herself to use that tiny bit of will remaining.
Great continuation, and I really want to see Wallflower heal.
Oh, Wallflower, don't do this to yourself :(
I'm torn if this was as long as it needed to be, or if it needed something more. But overall, I appreciate the contrast with its predecessor. Wallflower's thinking more of Sunset here - and it shows. Well done in weaving in both Wallflower's hesitation from her personal angle, but also her consideration on what Sunset would think, and if she's even worth her.
She really needs a hug.
Hello, a review to your story has been posted. I hope you find it helpful.
As someone who's dealt with self harm on/off for nine years, there's a reason why you typically aren't meant to make someone who's self harming promise you they'll stop. For one, if it's long-term, most people can't just stop doing something like that out of the blue. Two, like shown here, typically a relapse after someone pulls the "Stop please? For me? 🥺" card can be worse because then you feel guilty for breaking the promise. Not that I think Sunset would know that, and I don't think she's bad for it or anything.