“Sunset! Sunset!”
Rarity’s shriek was deafening. Her words broke into sobs as she collapsed over the fallen girl’s body.
“Take us back...” Sunset spoke under her breath. When she heard no reply from Luna, she said it again, louder.
“Take us back. I don’t want to see this. Luna?”
Sunset turned, and saw nothing. The spot where the alicorn had stood just moments ago was as cold and empty as the fallen girl’s blue eyes.
“Luna!” Sunset shouted. "Luna, please! I don’t want to see this!”
There was no answer. Another trembling voice joined Rarity’s as Rainbow Dash burst out of the parking garage. When Sunset saw Rainbow Dash’s tear-stricken face, the sounds of the world seemed to spin out of focus, so that all Sunset could hear were her own panicked breaths over the ringing echoes of muted screams.
Sunset felt some crushing force rooting her to the spot. She dropped to her knees, quivering. “Luna, please, don’t leave me h-here... I don’t want this, I c-can’t...”
Rainbow Dash was shouting something as she approached the fallen girl’s body. She knelt down, holding the the girl’s scarred wrist. Sunset watched, unable to look away, as Rainbow Dash lightly pressed her head against the girl’s chest. For several seconds, Sunset swore she could feel a warmth pressing over her own heart.
In an instant, Rainbow Dash shot up, shouting something at Rarity, whose hand reached into her purse, retrieved her cell phone, and dialed a number. As Rarity frantically shrieked into her phone, Rainbow Dash cradled the fallen girl’s head in her lap, whispering something over and over. Rainbow Dash’s entire body was shaking as she ran her hands through the girl’s red and yellow hair. When the fallen girl’s head lolled to the side like a broken toy, Rainbow Dash began screaming at her, so loud that it broke through the fog suffocating Sunset’s senses.
“No! Not y-yet, you don’t get to go! Do you hear me? It’s not up to you!” Rainbow Dash’s face burned red as her voice cracked. She wiped away the blood trickling from the corner of fallen girl’s lips. “You can’t, okay? I’m gonna... I’ll make it up to you! It’ll be okay, you’ll see! Like this never h-happened at all...!”
As the fallen girl’s half-lidded eyes gazed away into emptiness, their bright blue color began to fade, and Sunset felt her entire world begin to crumble away. The parking garage Sunset had fallen from faded into darkness and the streets and alleys around her dissolved into nothing, until all that remained were the fallen girl and the ones who had tormented her earlier that night. Soon enough, even Rainbow Dash and Rarity had vanished. As Sunset curled up, whimpering, the only thing she felt was someone embracing her, and the only sound she heard was the faraway call of voices she no longer recognized.
“Stay with us, please!”
“It’ll be okay, I promise!”
“You can’t give up now!”
“Please...”
“I’m so, so sorry, Sunset...”
“You have to keep going...”
“Don’t go...”
“...Sunset!”
Then the voices faded, and she was alone. She no longer heard her own breaths, nor felt the comfort of someone’s touch. There was no color, no darkness, no more.
There was only nothing.
Nothing at all.
Nothing.
...
As the last vestiges of the fallen girl’s mind drifted away, something sparked within her.
“Gaaah—!” Sunset cried out, her entire body convulsing as her eyes shot open.
“It is alright, my child,” Luna said. She lay next to Sunset, her wing cast over the trembling girl's body like a feathered shroud.
“I-I... I shouldn’t be here,” Sunset whispered, her voice marred by the shudders that still ran through her. Tears brimmed in here eyes as she pressed herself into the warmth of Luna’s body. “That was... I should be—I’m supposed to be dead. This is all wrong...”
“Do you want to die, Sunset Shimmer?” Luna asked.
“I...” Sunset didn’t have an answer. “I’m so tired, Princess Luna,” she said. Luna said nothing as Sunset tilted her head up. “I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I feel like I'm coming apart at the seams. There’s either too much, or nothing at all. Life is either so blinding and deafening that I want to scream, or so completely devoid of anything that I can’t bear it.”
Luna nodded her head. “One cannot reconcile such extremes.”
Tears began to stream down Sunset’s cheeks. “I was supposed to be past this. I worked so hard to find meaning, to reach out and connect so I wouldn’t be alone in my head all the time. And yet...” She rested her head on Luna’s side. “There’s nothing left. Things like me aren't supposed to be here. I was so full of all these colors and sounds and passions and now I’m just... Gone.”
Sunset felt Luna’s wing pull her closer as she continued. “I should be scared of dying, but I'm not. Is that itself scary? I don’t even know anymore. I can't remember what fear feels like.”
Cracks began to break through Sunset’s voice. “It doesn't hurt. Not anymore. There's so much I should be feeling, but it's all just outside of my reach. When I would cut myself, I was just trying to feel something, but it was never enough.” She felt a wetness where her tears stained her gown as she curled into a ball beneath Luna’s wing. “It’s wrong to hurt myself. I know it is. It doesn’t even help me. So why do I want to do it?”
Sunset stared up at Luna with tear-stained eyes. “I can’t put the pieces together,” she said. “Why? Why do I feel this way, Luna? Why am I alone in this pit? What’s wrong with me...?”
Luna only smiled at her. “My child, you are not alone. Not now, nor before you came here. When you were there, witnessing the aftermath of your fall, what did you see?”
Sunset took several moments to catch her breath before she finally answered. “I-I, uhm... I saw me. My body. And the others. They were there—they were crying. Rainbow Dash...” The memories of the other girls’ actions seemed a lifetime ago to Sunset, and yet she still remembered the warmth of Rainbow Dash holding her, the sounds of her desperate cries, the trembling in her hands as she held Sunset close...
“Why?” Sunset said, her voice breathless. “Didn’t they want me gone? Didn’t they hate me? Why did they try to save me...?”
“You already know the answer,” Luna said.
“I don’t understand,” Sunset said as she stifled another whimper. “I j-just don’t understand...”
“Do you want to die, Sunset Shimmer?”
Sunset looked away. Despite everything that had just transpired, she still knew the answer, and it haunted her.
Luna nuzzled Sunset as she spoke. “It is alright, Sunset Shimmer. There is no shame in that feeling.”
“It makes me horrible!” Sunset cried. “I saw their faces—how much I hurt them! But I-I still w-want...”
“Hush now, little one,” Luna spoke softly. “There will be time to understand such things. You do not need to do so now.”
Sunset said nothing. She collapsed entirely into Luna’s body as her chest heaved. Luna only held her, her wing covering Sunset as she sobbed, just as Celestia had done so long ago.
damn
this story just gets better and better.
keep it up! :D
Very good. I’m still hungry for more. 😋
Luna’s bedside manner could use some work.
Enthralled
Hnnggg.. more! Please!!! ;-;
I can't decide whether Rarity, Applejack and Rainbow Dash should tell their sisters of Sunset's actions; if they don't, then the CMC will screw up by posting when the real Sunset's completely unable to, thereby outing the fact it wasn't the Equestrian after all. If they do, then the three young girls will have to live with the guilt of driving someone they know is completely innocent to suicide.
Seems Dash wants to sweep it all under the rug, unfortunately for her and the others that won't be possible. Even if Sunset gets better and they fix up their friendship, no one will forget what caused this.
Steady as the story goes.
Sadly, it's not gonna work out like that, Rainbow. You just can't sweep like this under the rug, especially when you're partly at fault for it. It'll haunt you for the rest of your life. And it'll be even worse when the truth about Anon-A-Miss finally comes to light.
...Well, at least there's a silver lining to all of this. What, with the description stating Sunset's gonna be out for months, the cmc are bound to screw up and be exposed during that time frame.
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Yeah and imagine whats going to happen to them sunsets in a coma and rarity and rainbow saw it i doubt they could ever look at sweetie and scootalo the same again
Heee. Rarity was carrying a purse.
Oh. Yeah. And death is bleak too.
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Not to mention Twilight and Celestia.
When the purple Princess doesn't get a reply from her dear friend, she's inevitably going to worry; when she inevitably learns about what Sunset did - from either Luna or her human friends - as a result of her 'friends' not supporting her, Twilight's gonna erupt . And when she learns it was the human-CMC's fault Sunset tried to kill herself...well, let's just say she's likely going to make her fight against Lord Tirek seem like a foalhood squabble.
As for Celestia...she never wanted to drive Sunset away, and she never got a chance to repent her own failings. Having heard of what these three 'foals' did to Sunset, and for such a petty and pathetic reason too, I really do think she's going to show them exactly why Equestria was at peace for a full millennium - she's not just a diplomat, after all.
Against both of these alicorns, the one who gained over a millennium's worth of power and experience and the one who symbolises magic itself, I don't see the three girls lasting very long at all. They'd better repent in the few femtoseconds of existence they've got left.
Luna's been pretty great so far.
Bla bla bla bla zzzzzzzzzzzzz.
Really enjoying this story so far; it's realistic, but luckily Sunset's issues aren't so close to my own that I get caught up in that. On a technical note, that fading text effect is brilliant, and very well-executed. Would you mind explaining how you did it?
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[ opacity=0.XX] ... [ /opacity]
Remove the spaces and replace 0.XX with a value between 0 and 1
You know, I started reading this fic ages ago and for some reason stopped, but jumping back in it and enjoying it. The philosophy can be a bit of a trudge, but it's still interesting and insightful to the characters and the world view.
But mainly- that part where it fades, that was not only very cool to see but so fitting and just added to the emotion.
Curious to keep reading this!
oh shit i felt a feel.
this is some good feels man, can recommend
I don't get a sense this is them trying to "sweep things under a rug". It's them desperately trying to get her to live, say anything so she'll pull through because they're actually good people.
Something most Anon-A-Miss stories simply ignore in favour of demonising them.
Ya know, I've been liking this, really, I have, and this isn't supposed to be a flame, but constructive criticism. That being said, you could've handled Luna a *lot* better. Why is she only now helping Sunset, when she's clearly been watching her since EG started, and, ergo known about these issues for some time? What's with the bullshit right here? I wouldn't know what to say, sure, but damn, it sure seems like Luna doesn't either, and is just covering it up, rather than taking step one (least, I'd think it's step one. If not let me know. Don't think any of my friends are depressed or hurting themselves, but how often do people figure it out on their own?), and say "I'm sorry you feel this way, and I care about you, and if you're ok with it, I'd like you to tell me how you got here."
These four quotes hit me a lot harder then i thought they would, because they are similar to words I recently used when I had a bit of a meltdown last month. It seems like I can no longer go a day without thinking "What is wrong with me? Why do I feel so empty?" It really feels like I'm stuck in some dark pit these days, and sometimes I ask myself "why I did wake up today if all I feel is misery?"
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It's a really terrible thing, being stuck in that place. Depression has a way of making itself seem like the more attractive option, at least for me. I'm so defined by my problems and my trauma that to look outside of them would be to reinvent my entire self from the ground up. Staying in that dark little room, tucked in the corner where the light can't hurt my eyes... It's comfortable, y'know? It's safe there.
That's the lie depression tells us. It's not safe. It's not comfortable. It's like an abusive partner that won't let you see or be with anyone else. It's so, so hard to get away--and you can get away.
If you ever need someone to talk to, I'm just a DM away. Stay safe, hon.
Heyo, rereading from beginning, commenting here.
Rarity's screams wounded me. Sunset's cries as she was forced to watch her aftermath wounded me. Rainbow Dash's too-late promises wounded me.
That quote right there destroyed me the first time I read this. And even coming back, it's still pretty darn devastating.
No joke, this line is haunting. Well done.
I think Luna is a Grim Reaper. I can't think of any other reason for Luna to confront her.
there is a saying that goes something like this for some people, "they don't fear death unless they are staring it square in the face" speaking from experience that is disturbingly accurate
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As someone who died earlier this year, I didn't fear her even then.
Heck, I was peeved to be back
Okay, wow. I've seen people try to pull off colored text in dialogue, and I think I've seen it work... exactly once, maybe. Usually it's just too distracting to actual complement what's being said. But you actually got me to highlight the text as it changed from white to gray and back again, so... good job on that. A bold stylistic choice that paid off.
Oh, Sunny. That all-or-nothing, black-and-white thinking is not your fault, don't get me wrong. Trauma fueled it, and it's what drove you there. The story's depiction of suicide so far is chillingly accurate. I want to argue with Sunset's mentality because I have both been there and know enough, outside of that time in my life, to see the problem in it... but it's not something that can be reasoned with. Here's hoping
ClarenceLuna recognizes this as she moves Sunset through the aftermath. I have a feeling that both of them are going to end up learning from this.Dash's pleading with Sunset was so selfishly real. Just... wow. You're doing a great job with all the characters here, and that's hard to do with heavy shit.