Sunset Shimmer has fallen into a self-destructive spiral since her friends left her, and she attempts to end her life. While unconscious, she is confronted by Princess Luna. They have much to discuss, whether Sunset likes it or not.
Losing her friends was the start of a self-destructive spiral for Sunset Shimmer. Convinced that she will never escape the echoes of her past, she tries to take her own life.
The attempt leaves her severely injured and she falls unconscious. In her dreams, she is visited by Princess Luna. They have much to discuss, whether Sunset likes it or not.
TV Tropes page Drawing of Sunset used in cover art is by Xaztein
Sunset wasn’t sure what time it was when she awoke. Surely sometime in the afternoon, given the length of the sunbeams coming through the window. It was a change of pace to be up before dusk, though it made little difference to her.
She didn’t roll out of bed. There was no reason to. There wasn’t much reason to stay in bed either, though such a logic loop was tiring for Sunset to think about, which was reason enough to remain on the mattress.
Her eyes caught the rhythmic flicker of a blue LED. Her phone was on the floor beside her, and between missing school and her reason for missing school, there were doubtless many messages to sort through. Sunset reached for her phone and turned it over so that she could no longer see the notification light.
Despite her best efforts, she was beginning to wake up. She turned over and buried her face in the mattress, only to be greeted by the musty smell one would expect from a used mattress found on a sidewalk. With a groan and a stretch, Sunset flipped herself over.
The floor of her tiny bedroom was as unkempt as Sunset herself, being covered in dirty laundry and an unpleasant smell. The events leading up to the holidays had given her little incentive to leave her room, and while she had expected the Anon-a-miss situation to fizzle out over the break, the blinking light on her phone was proof otherwise. Now school was back in session, yet Sunset still confined herself within her apartment.
As Sunset’s gaze drifted over the countless cracks in her ceiling, she acknowledged that there was no way she’d be able to fall back asleep. Resigned to consciousness, she sat up and stretched, causing the loose sleeves of the hoodie she’d worn to bed to slide down her arms. Rows upon rows of hair-thin scars were revealed, criss-crossing over themselves all the way down to her wrist. Sunset scowled and pulled her sleeves back out to cover them again.
Hunger flared inside her, though it was not what drove her to get out of bed. Sunset was no stranger to the gnawing feeling of an empty stomach. A primal urge she couldn’t ignore, however, was the one building in her bladder. She shuffled across the bedroom, paying no mind to the dresses and shirts she was stepping on. In the bathroom, she plopped down on the toilet and stared at the wall with half-lidded eyes.
After the deed was done, Sunset washed her hands in the trickling stream of her bathroom sink, drying them with a couple of fast food napkins taken from the pile beside her. As she did, she caught a glance of the girl in the mirror.
Hollow eyes stared into themselves. Sunset’s normally wavy red and yellow hair was a tangled mess, its colors overlapping into a drab mix of orange and brown. Her face was marred by bagged eyes, and Sunset swore that she could see the trails left by tears from the days when she could still cry.
You look like shit.
Unable to meet her own gaze any longer, Sunset lowered her head. The glint of metal caught her eye, and she pushed aside the pile of napkins to reveal a single rectangular razor blade.
Now began the only thing she had to look forward to. Sunset took the razor and returned to her mattress. She removed her hoodie, shivering as her bare skin was exposed to the coldness of her unheated bedroom. Countless cuts in various stages of healing lined her body. The densest clusters were between her wrists and elbows, however scabs and scars covered her thighs, stomach, calves and shoulders. Some had even drifted up her chest and closer to her neck.
She felt nothing, physically or otherwise, as she lightly dragged the razor over her upper thigh. Sunset focused intently on the line she’d drawn across her skin. As the cold air touched the hot blood bubbling up, the line turned a brighter and brighter shade of red. Eventually the color settled and the blood stopped.
Sunset slid the razor across her leg again, this time with more force. Pain reached her as she watched the blood pulse from her thigh. Her expression hardened at the sight and sensation, and words swirled around in her head.
“Betrayer!”
“Liar!”
“She-demon!”
Seething, Sunset slashed into herself once again. A thick tide of blood surged forth alongside memories of friends she no longer had.
“I can’t believe I trusted you! After everything you’d done the past few years, I was stupid enough to think you could change.”
“How could you, Sunny? How could you just throw our friendship away like this?”
“Would you just stop lying about it? Everyone knows it's you running the page.”
“Don't bother apologizing. We’re not gonna fall for your ‘redemption’ act again.”
“I have nothing to say to you.”
“Gah—!” Sunset’s breath escaped her as she sliced herself again. Something close to crying felt like it was welling up inside her. Sunset’s chest heaved as her breathing became more erratic. She shut her eyes, trying to let herself be overcome by that ghost of a sensation, but the tears never came.
The ritual repeated until Sunset’s thigh was coated with blood, half dripping and half congealed. She dropped the razor beside her phone and rested her head against the wall. Her vision was blurred, though not from tears, as she watched drops of blood steadily flow down her leg and onto the mattress.
Not like more stains will make it any worse.
Even while face-down, her phone had continued to blink. Sunset glanced down at it, took a deep breath, and braved a look at her messages.
They were what she expected. Threats, accusations, curses and hatred. And yet, Sunset couldn’t look away. She sat there, soaking her bed in her own blood, as she scrolled through each and every message. She wasn’t sure why. She had long since given up expecting to see any kind of apology or understanding of her innocence. Still, she kept reading.
By the time Sunset had viewed the last message, she had received several more, each as angry as the others. She put down her phone and picked up her razor.
Long after night had fallen, Sunset left her apartment and began the trek to the local fast food joint. The aftermath of her session required the remainder of her napkins to clean up. The thought of getting something to eat sounded good too, although Sunset’s empty wallet resigned her to a handful of complimentary crackers and ketchup packets. The thought was nice though.
Sunset walked with a subtle but steady limp, yet another consequence of her self-inflicted wounds. Perhaps she’d cut too deeply this time. It certainly wouldn’t be a first.
The streetlights grew brighter and more numerous as the sidewalk led Sunset out of the run-down industrial part of the city. Her apartment was located in a long-since condemned building on the far side of town. As far as Sunset was concerned, anything with a roof was shelter enough, and it wasn’t like anyone else was using it. She had heard the term ‘squatter’s rights’ before, though she wasn’t sure of the details. Hopefully it wouldn’t come up any time soon.
A chilly breeze blew from behind her, biting through her tattered hoodie. Shivering, Sunset looked up at the night sky. The impossibly small flickers of stars stretched out in every direction. She amused herself by focusing on the stars that appeared brighter while in her peripheral vision, only to seemingly vanish once she looked at them directly.
Was that what she looked like to everyone else? The echoes of a brilliant sun, millions of miles from home, with no warmth left? If Sunset were a star, she thought, she must not have burned very brightly. For all her efforts to keep her friendships alive, each one had dimmed and fizzled out, just as the photons from stars vanished upon reaching her.
“Pffffft.” Sunset made a noise. Such thoughts were unbearably pretentious, even for her. Sunset’s gaze dropped back to the street just as her destination came into view. As she made her way closer, she was greeted by the familiar grating sound of teenagers laughing and socializing. Sunset pulled up her hood, tucked in her long hair and limped inside, making an effort to avoid eye contact with anyone.
The restaurant was far more crowded than Sunset would have liked, and most of the people there were her peers from school. Groups of friends filled nearly every booth and table, chatting about sports games and schoolwork. A line stretched from the counter to the door, and nearly every person waiting was focused on their phones or each other. Sunset counted herself lucky—the more people were looking elsewhere, the less likely they were to notice her.
The table with the napkin dispensers and crackers was on the other side of the building. Keeping her head down, Sunset stumbled and weaved through the tightly packed mess of chairs and bodies. Her legs were starting to burn even more as the fresh cuts chafed against the rough insides of her jeans. The air was suffocating, and Sunset flinched at every accidental bump into anyone or anything.
Sunset made it to the table and filled the front pocket of her hoodie with napkins, crackers and ketchup. As she pushed through the crowd on her way out, her breathing grew more ragged and her steps more careless. Pain mounted in her thighs, and Sunset caught a glimpse of dark red lines seeping through the fabric of her pants. Trembling, she shut her eyes and pressed forward.
Sunset staggered, lost her footing, and felt herself crash into someone.
“What the hay, man?” came an all too familiar raspy voice. Sunset, struggling to push herself up from the floor, found herself face to face with Rainbow Dash.
“What’s the big—Sunset?” Rainbow said. Sunset recoiled at the sound of her own name, feeling the weight of the mounting glares from every corner of the room.
“What’s she doing here?”
“Sunset Shimmer?”
“Have you seen what she posted over the break?”
Sunset couldn’t breathe. Everything she’d taken from the table had fallen from her pocket, littering the floor around her and Rainbow Dash. Sunset’s hands were shaking as she tried again to stand.
“The heck are you doing here?” her former friend said, scowling.
Sunset had no answer. Her eyes darted around, trying to find the exit, only to be caught in the stares of her classmates in every direction.
“Are you stealing napkins? Seriously? What, stealing all our secrets wasn’t enough?”
“I-I...” Sunset couldn’t form words. She couldn’t think. She couldn’t stand. Her legs were on fire and her hands were stained red from where they had touched the bloodied part of her jeans.
“That’s enough, Rainbow,” a loftier voice said. “She’s not worth your time.”
Sunset braved a look upward and saw Rarity with her back turned.
“Meh. You’re right,” Rainbow Dash shrugged. She glared down at Sunset. “Beat it, Anon-a-miss.”
Several mocking voices called out from all around Sunset.
“Yeah!”
“Nobody wants you here anyway!”
Sunset held onto a chair as she fought to right herself. Just as she successfully pulled herself off the floor, Rainbow Dash slammed down her fist on a table.
“I said beat it, Shimmer!”
Sunset hobbled out of the restaurant, her pockets and stomach empty. Jeers and shouts followed her to the door. As she stumbled out into the frigid winter night and walked away, there were no tears in her eyes—only grim resignation.
Sunset had no idea what time it was as she crossed into the industrial district. The cuts on her legs had scabbed over once again, though they still burned intensely with every uneven step. Her stomach roared and the chilling winds left her shivering, and in the end, she had nothing to show for it.
Rainbow Dash’s taunts played over and over in Sunset’s mind. Why couldn’t she understand? Why wouldn’t anybody hear her out? Why didn’t they trust her?
Sunset knew the answer. Years of tormenting her fellow students had left her with quite the awful reputation. There were so many crimes she had yet to answer for, and what little she had done to atone was clearly not enough in the eyes of her victims. Even following her attempts to reform, the majority of her peers wanted nothing to do with her.
Perhaps this was retribution, she thought. At first, her self-inflicted wounds had been punishment for her formerly hurtful ways. Now Sunset wondered if being framed as Anon-a-miss wasn’t so much a misfortune as an inevitability. She had gotten off too easy for the way she’d treated others, and now the world was punishing her for believing she was above consequences.
As she turned a corner, a rise of concrete caught her eye. It was a parking garage, six stories high with a staircase beside the entrance. From what she could tell, it was entirely empty. Sunset imagined herself falling from such a height. The thought had crossed her mind many times before. If this life of spite and solitude was all that was left to her, she would be doing herself and everyone else a favor by ending it. And yet, in all the countless times she had passed the parking garage before, Sunset had never actually entered it.
Her resolve hardened and she made her way inside. Every step up the stairs was punctuated by a protesting burst of pain from her legs, but she pressed on. Sunset had no idea what she would do once she got to the top. Maybe finding out was part of her reason for being there in the first place.
Upon reaching the top level, Sunset heard voices coming from somewhere below. She went to the end of the parking garage where a railing separated her from the ledge and peered down at the street she’d just come from, only to see the two girls whom had confronted her earlier that night.
“Do we have go through such a dreadful part of the city?” Rarity said, her eyes darting from alley to alley as she followed closely behind Rainbow Dash.
Rainbow Dash rolled her eyes. “Well she took off this way. You can turn around if you want.”
“I’m still not sure I understand what your goal is,” Rarity said.
“You saw the blood, right?”
“Yes, but–”
Rainbow Dash waved a hand. “Well there you go.”
“I’m not sure I follow,” Rarity said. “Do you think she’s hurting herself?”
“Maybe? Look, something’s clearly not right with her. I know she’s always been kinda screwed up, and maybe this whole Anon-a-miss thing is her lashing out as part of that. And yeah, I’m pissed about it, but...” Rainbow Dash trailed off.
“But what?”
Rainbow Dash didn’t answer at first. She stopped beneath a street light in front of the parking garage Sunset was up on.
“I just... I dunno, okay?” Rainbow Dash said, lightly kicking the sidewalk. “Seeing her earlier got me so worked up, and I didn’t think about how awful she looked until after she was gone.” She paused again, looking up at the sky. “I just want to make sure she doesn’t do anything stupid.”
Rainbow Dash was silent for a long time. Her eyes seemed to open more, and beside her, Rarity looked up as well and took on the same expression. It was then that Sunset realized they could see her. She hadn’t recognized their fearful expressions at first. It was so different from the one she’d seen in the eyes of her peers as she’d terrorized them for years. There was no time to think about such things now.
“Oh dear God, Sunset! Sunset!” Rarity shrieked, clasping her face between her hands. Sunset could see Rainbow Dash shouting and Rarity shaking. The wind whistled in her ears, muffling the voices of the girls below.
“Sunset, look at me!” Rainbow Dash yelled so loud that her voice cracked. “Just talk to me, okay? We can—!”
Rainbow Dash was cut off by Rarity’s piercing scream. The world seemed to slow down for Sunset as the gears began to turn in her mind, instructing her like an automaton to climb over the railing. The frigid wind coaxed her forward until the tips of her shoes hung over the ledge. Sunset said nothing, even as Rainbow Dash kept shouting and Rarity frantically waved her arms. There was nothing left to say.
“Oh, the hell with this,” Rainbow Dash said. “Keep talking to her, Rarity. I’m going up there.” With that, she bolted into the parking garage.
Rarity stammered as she spoke. “Sunset, listen! We’re s-sorry for what we said, okay? I’m sure you... you...”
Sunset stared, unmoving. She heard the words that Rarity was saying, and yet their meaning failed to register in her mind. Either way, Sunset was far too tired to hold a conversation. What were the two girls doing here anyway? Hadn’t they wanted Sunset to leave? Nothing made sense anymore. Soon it wouldn’t have to.
“Sunset, please!” Rarity wailed, trembling. “Come down from there! Let us help you!”
Just then, Sunset heard the sound of running behind her. She turned and saw Rainbow Dash sprinting across the rooftop at remarkable speed. Her hand was outstretched and her mouth was moving, but Sunset couldn’t understand her. She couldn’t understand anything. The world was too loud, too bright. She needed everything to stop.
Sunset didn’t smile. She didn’t cry. She didn’t close her eyes or whisper last words. She took a single step backwards, exhaling softly as gravity took her, and fell.
The twin screams that filled her ears were silenced by a dull crack, and everything was gone.
Sunset’s eyes fluttered open. At least, she thought they did. There was nothing to see but blackness everywhere.
It was warm, far warmer than it had been outside. Sunset could hear herself breathing, and felt the softness of whatever clothing was draped around her. As she slid her hands over what she assumed was some kind of long dress, she realized how smooth her arms were. The ridges and scars that had covered her body were gone.
Was she dead? That had been the expectation. What was this place? Wherever she was, it was strangely calming. In the last moments before her impact, a fleeting fear drifted through her last thoughts as to what came next.
“I had not hoped to see you here.” A voice echoed in the darkness. Sunset looked around, completely disoriented in the void. Then, faint sparks came alive all around her, as if she were surrounded by the night sky itself. From within the flares of light, an equine figure took shape, tall and regal. Its wings unfurled and its horn glinted in the dark.
For the first time in months, Sunset felt as if tears may overcome her. “C-Celestia?”
“No.”
Sunset’s heart sank. Then, she asked, “Who are you?”
The outline of an alicorn princess settled into form. Before Sunset stood Princess Luna.
“Why have you come here, Sunset Shimmer?” the princess asked.
Sunset couldn’t think of what to say. “L-Luna? Princess Luna?”
“Yes,” Luna said. “We have not yet met. I wish it were under better circumstances.”
Sunset stared up at Luna. Sunset had heard all the old stories as a girl, of how Nightmare Moon tormented Equestria and was banished for her violent actions. The Princess of the Night was now before her, looking down with soft blue eyes. Her tone was neither angry nor concerned as she spoke again.
“Why have you come here?” Luna repeated.
“I don’t even know where here is,” Sunset said, looking around. Her swarming thoughts were beginning to settle like sand in a stream. “I was falling,” she said.
“And why were you falling?”
“Why not?” Sunset said. “There was nothing left for me.”
“So apathy is why you wish to die?” Luna said.
“I...” Sunset wasn’t sure what to say. “I didn’t want to die. And it’s not that I didn’t care. I just knew I could never escape what I’d become.” She hunched over, dejected, as she continued. “It’s what I deserved.”
“If you do not wish to die, then why did you fall?”
Sunset said nothing, and for a moment, the both of them were silent. Her eyes flitted up, catching a glimpse of Luna’s face. The princess’ eyes were soft as starlight as she stepped closer, her mane twinkling. “Imagine how joyous you could be, Sunset Shimmer, if your will to live was as strong as your will to die.”
“W-what? I told you already, I didn’t want to die!” Sunset said. “There was no other way out! I couldn’t go back to Equestria and I was probably going to starve sooner or later anyway, so why fight the inevitable?”
Luna only listened as Sunset kept speaking, her voice raising with every word.
“My whole life, I think, I’ve known that it would end like this. I always felt as though everyone around me had this intrinsic connection, but I didn’t have that!” Sunset’s chest heaved and she turned away from the princess. “I watched the world go by through a foggy window, able to see the life and love and friendship, but never able to be a part of it. No matter how much I screamed, nobody heard me. And that led me to do some really awful things.”
“What awful things have you done?” Luna asked.
“I treated people horribly!” Sunset shouted. “I was a bully, a monster, a literal demon! People were terrified of me! They’re all probably grateful that I’m dead. Now they don’t have to put up with me.”
“You are not dead, Sunset Shimmer,” the princess said.
At that, Sunset stopped. “What...?”
“You are not dead.”
“Yeah, I got that part,” Sunset said. “I don’t understand! Where am I? What’s going on? How are you even here?!”
The princess knelt down, and suddenly Sunset was face to face with her. In Luna’s wide eyes, Sunset could see a reflection of herself, covered by a sleeveless white gown. “I am responsible for the dreams of all of Equestria’s children,” Luna said. “Even here, in this strange world so far from home, I have been watching you.”
“T-then... Is this a dream?” Sunset asked.
“In a way,” the princess said. “Through your dreams, I have seen the events of which you spoke. I have seen what you did to others.” Sunset felt the unfamiliar tingle of magic run over her now-unscarred arms as Luna continued. “And I have seen what you did to yourself.”
Immediately, Sunset pulled herself away from Luna, holding her arms close to herself. “If you know all this, why are you asking me anything?” she said.
“It is precisely because I have seen all this that I am asking you,” Luna said. “Why have you come here? Do you truly believe this is the only path for you?”
“I-I...” Sunset had no answer. She looked around at the flickering starscape. Months of torment twisted her face into a sullen look. She turned to the princess, her head down, like a child expecting punishment. “I don’t know.”
Princess Luna gave her a gentle smile. “Then let us find out.”
A girl and an alicorn sat in silence, surrounded by an ethereal plane of starlight.
“Can I ask you something?” Sunset finally spoke.
“You do not need my permission to speak, Sunset Shimmer,” Luna replied.
“Oh, uhm... Okay, well, you said you’ve been watching me, right?”
“I have.”
“For how long?”
“Not long after your brief return to Equestria. I had hoped that I may assist Twilight in recovering that which you stole,” Luna said. “Afterwards, however, I could not simply look away.”
“Look away?” Sunset’s voice raised slightly. “I don’t get it. You spent all that time observing, and for what? If you really cared about what happened to me, why didn’t you tell Twilight? Or Celestia?”
Luna raised an eyebrow. “Why didn’t you?”
Sunset groaned. “Y’know, you’re pretty sassy for a princess.”
“I am no princess here, Sunset Shimmer.”
“Fine, whatever.”
Silence loomed for several minutes. Sunset glanced over at Luna, unsure what to make of the situation. The sister of her former mentor, a mentor Sunset had scorned and abandoned, had taken her to some starry dreamscape to—what exactly? Talk about life? Or perhaps the lack of it?
Sunset sighed and ran her fingers over her arms once more. She still marveled at how smooth they were. There was no scar tissue to catch on the inside of the gown she now wore, which was yet another oddly familiar thing. The garment was white as snow and stretched down to her ankles, and it was unbelievably comfortable. Sunset felt as though she were a child again, with Celestia’s wing draped over her.
“I still don’t understand why you’re here,” Sunset finally spoke up. “Seems like it’s a little late to start teaching me the value of life.”
“There is no value inherent to anything,” Luna said. “Not even life. Not unless we make it so.”
“Well that’s a little disheartening,” Sunset said.
Luna nodded. “Quite. And yet I have found that there is a certain liberty to it as well. We each must choose to matter to ourselves.”
Sunset rolled her eyes as she curled her legs to her chest. “You make it sound so easy.”
“That is not my intention. There is no challenge more difficult than learning to love oneself,” Luna said, her voice softening as she sat down beside Sunset. “And yet it is one I have learned to handle all the same.”
“Good for you,” Sunset said under her breath.
“Thank you,” Luna replied.
“Nnnngh... This isn’t helping, y’know.”
“I cannot truly help you, my child,” Luna said. “I can only hope to guide you towards your own answers. However, you must find them yourself.
“What’s that supposed to mean?” Sunset asked. “Cryptic metaphors aren’t as effective for teaching self-worth as you seem to think. No matter how you look at it, my life meant nothing to the grand scheme of things.”
“Does the moon matter, Sunset Shimmer?” Luna asked.
Sunset did a double-take. “Uhm, what? Of course it matters, Moon Princess.”
Luna looked back at her. “I told you, I am not a Princess here.”
“Yeah, yeah, I get it. Royal jurisdictions or whatever.” Sunset waved a hand. “You know what I mean.”
“Very well,” Luna said. “The moon matters. It is a rock. A lifeless body of dust and craters. There is nothing there.”
“And?”
“How is it that something so empty can matter more than you, a living being?”
Sunset thought for a moment. “Because, y’know... It controls tides, causes eclipses, lights the night sky. People notice the moon.”
“People noticed you, did they not?”
“It’s not the same!” Sunset huffed. “The moon has impact on people’s lives!”
“As did you,” Luna said. “You made them cry. You made them laugh. You made them smile. Those feelings are as tangible as any lunar shadow, perhaps even more so.”
“And?”
“There is more to this world than what can be directly observed. The moon only matters because we believe that it does.” Luna gave Sunset a light smile. “You matter because others believe so, too.”
Sunset looked away, her long hair shielding her face from Luna’s gaze. “You’re greatly overestimating how much people cared about me. I gave up the right to be loved a long time ago.”
“And how is that?” Luna asked.
“I told you before. I was horrible. I treated everyone like dirt and made their lives miserable, so much so that by the time I tried to change, they had no trust left for me to earn. Even if I was too stupid to understand that at the time.” Sunset’s eyes peeked out from behind her curtain of hair. “If you don’t believe me, just ask your sister.”
“That is not my question to ask.”
Sunset lowered her head. “It doesn’t matter anyway,” she said. “Celestia hates me. They all hate me.”
“Do they?” Luna asked. “You speak with such certainty about the hearts and minds of others, Sunset Shimmer. They are as fallible as you.”
Sunset stifled a laugh. “Tell me about it.”
“Still, I will not pretend their actions were justified. You did not deserve the suffering forced upon you.”
Sunset raised an eyebrow. “That doesn’t make any sense. How can you question if they hate me, then turn around and admit they treated me like a monster?”
“Because they acted on emotion, and emotions are fleeting things, as you well know,” Luna said. “Foolish as they were in their reasoning and behavior, they are now more concerned for your health and happiness than you seem to be. Does that make you as foolish as them?”
“What’s that supposed to mean?” Sunset asked.
Luna didn’t answer. Instead she stood, and her horn began to glow. Before her, a dim spark flickered to life and began to grow in intensity, until all Sunset saw was its blinding glow, forcing her to hold her arms up to shield her eyes.
“Luna, what the—!” The light vanished, and Sunset heard a crack, then the world was still. She now stood on a sidewalk, and as she lowered her arms, she realized they were transparent. Before her, Princess Luna was transparent as well. The alicorn gestured for Sunset to turn around.
Sunset was greeted by a horrifying sight. A crumpled, seemingly lifeless human form lay on the pavement in front of her, dressed in a tattered hoodie and blood-stained jeans. The girl’s body was twisted at an awkward angle, like a doll thrown carelessly across the room, and one of her hoodie’s sleeves was loosely rolled up to the elbow, revealing dozens of scars.
When Sunset saw the girl’s face, she felt ill. The girl’s mouth hung open slightly, with a thin line of blood trailing from the corner of her lips. Beneath tangled locks of red and yellow hair, blue eyes stared up into nothing with an almost bored expression.
Rarity’s shriek was deafening. Her words broke into sobs as she collapsed over the fallen girl’s body.
“Take us back...” Sunset spoke under her breath. When she heard no reply from Luna, she said it again, louder.
“Take us back. I don’t want to see this. Luna?”
Sunset turned, and saw nothing. The spot where the alicorn had stood just moments ago was as cold and empty as the fallen girl’s blue eyes.
“Luna!” Sunset shouted. "Luna, please! I don’t want to see this!”
There was no answer. Another trembling voice joined Rarity’s as Rainbow Dash burst out of the parking garage. When Sunset saw Rainbow Dash’s tear-stricken face, the sounds of the world seemed to spin out of focus, so that all Sunset could hear were her own panicked breaths over the ringing echoes of muted screams.
Sunset felt some crushing force rooting her to the spot. She dropped to her knees, quivering. “Luna, please, don’t leave me h-here... I don’t want this, I c-can’t...”
Rainbow Dash was shouting something as she approached the fallen girl’s body. She knelt down, holding the the girl’s scarred wrist. Sunset watched, unable to look away, as Rainbow Dash lightly pressed her head against the girl’s chest. For several seconds, Sunset swore she could feel a warmth pressing over her own heart.
In an instant, Rainbow Dash shot up, shouting something at Rarity, whose hand reached into her purse, retrieved her cell phone, and dialed a number. As Rarity frantically shrieked into her phone, Rainbow Dash cradled the fallen girl’s head in her lap, whispering something over and over. Rainbow Dash’s entire body was shaking as she ran her hands through the girl’s red and yellow hair. When the fallen girl’s head lolled to the side like a broken toy, Rainbow Dash began screaming at her, so loud that it broke through the fog suffocating Sunset’s senses.
“No! Not y-yet, you don’t get to go! Do you hear me? It’s not up to you!” Rainbow Dash’s face burned red as her voice cracked. She wiped away the blood trickling from the corner of fallen girl’s lips. “You can’t, okay? I’m gonna... I’ll make it up to you! It’ll be okay, you’ll see! Like this never h-happened at all...!”
As the fallen girl’s half-lidded eyes gazed away into emptiness, their bright blue color began to fade, and Sunset felt her entire world begin to crumble away. The parking garage Sunset had fallen from faded into darkness and the streets and alleys around her dissolved into nothing, until all that remained were the fallen girl and the ones who had tormented her earlier that night. Soon enough, even Rainbow Dash and Rarity had vanished. As Sunset curled up, whimpering, the only thing she felt was someone embracing her, and the only sound she heard was the faraway call of voices she no longer recognized.
“Stay with us, please!”
“It’ll be okay, I promise!”
“You can’t give up now!”
“Please...”
“I’m so, so sorry, Sunset...”
“You have to keep going...”
“Don’t go...”
“...Sunset!”
Then the voices faded, and she was alone. She no longer heard her own breaths, nor felt the comfort of someone’s touch. There was no color, no darkness, no more.
There was only nothing.
Nothing at all.
Nothing.
...
As the last vestiges of the fallen girl’s mind drifted away, somethingsparkedwithin her.
“Gaaah—!” Sunset cried out, her entire body convulsing as her eyes shot open.
“It is alright, my child,” Luna said. She lay next to Sunset, her wing cast over the trembling girl's body like a feathered shroud.
“I-I... I shouldn’t be here,” Sunset whispered, her voice marred by the shudders that still ran through her. Tears brimmed in here eyes as she pressed herself into the warmth of Luna’s body. “That was... I should be—I’m supposed to be dead. This is all wrong...”
“Do you want to die, Sunset Shimmer?” Luna asked.
“I...” Sunset didn’t have an answer. “I’m so tired, Princess Luna,” she said. Luna said nothing as Sunset tilted her head up. “I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I feel like I'm coming apart at the seams. There’s either too much, or nothing at all. Life is either so blinding and deafening that I want to scream, or so completely devoid of anything that I can’t bear it.”
Luna nodded her head. “One cannot reconcile such extremes.”
Tears began to stream down Sunset’s cheeks. “I was supposed to be past this. I worked so hard to find meaning, to reach out and connect so I wouldn’t be alone in my head all the time. And yet...” She rested her head on Luna’s side. “There’s nothing left. Things like me aren't supposed to be here. I was so full of all these colors and sounds and passions and now I’m just... Gone.”
Sunset felt Luna’s wing pull her closer as she continued. “I should be scared of dying, but I'm not. Is that itself scary? I don’t even know anymore. I can't remember what fear feels like.”
Cracks began to break through Sunset’s voice. “It doesn't hurt. Not anymore. There's so much I should be feeling, but it's all just outside of my reach. When I would cut myself, I was just trying to feel something, but it was never enough.” She felt a wetness where her tears stained her gown as she curled into a ball beneath Luna’s wing. “It’s wrong to hurt myself. I know it is. It doesn’t even help me. So why do I want to do it?”
Sunset stared up at Luna with tear-stained eyes. “I can’t put the pieces together,” she said. “Why? Why do I feel this way, Luna? Why am I alone in this pit? What’s wrong with me...?”
Luna only smiled at her. “My child, you are not alone. Not now, nor before you came here. When you were there, witnessing the aftermath of your fall, what did you see?”
Sunset took several moments to catch her breath before she finally answered. “I-I, uhm... I saw me. My body. And the others. They were there—they were crying. Rainbow Dash...” The memories of the other girls’ actions seemed a lifetime ago to Sunset, and yet she still remembered the warmth of Rainbow Dash holding her, the sounds of her desperate cries, the trembling in her hands as she held Sunset close...
“Why?” Sunset said, her voice breathless. “Didn’t they want me gone? Didn’t they hate me? Why did they try to save me...?”
“You already know the answer,” Luna said.
“I don’t understand,” Sunset said as she stifled another whimper. “I j-just don’t understand...”
“Do you want to die, Sunset Shimmer?”
Sunset looked away. Despite everything that had just transpired, she still knew the answer, and it haunted her.
Luna nuzzled Sunset as she spoke. “It is alright, Sunset Shimmer. There is no shame in that feeling.”
“It makes me horrible!” Sunset cried. “I saw their faces—how much I hurt them! But I-I still w-want...”
“Hush now, little one,” Luna spoke softly. “There will be time to understand such things. You do not need to do so now.”
Sunset said nothing. She collapsed entirely into Luna’s body as her chest heaved. Luna only held her, her wing covering Sunset as she sobbed, just as Celestia had done so long ago.
Sunset had no idea how much time had passed since she’d stopped crying. She wondered if time even passed at all in this strange ethereal dreamscape. Snuggled between Luna’s wing and body, Sunset heaved a sigh.
“Princess Luna, do you think I’m selfish?” Sunset finally spoke.
“Of course not, Sunset Shimmer,” Luna replied. “What compelled you to ask that?”
Sunset lowered her head. “I don’t know, really. I guess I had no idea how the others would be impacted by my, uhm...” She paused, unsure of how to continue.
“Death,” Luna finished for her. “Though it was thanks to their efforts that you continue to live.”
“Yeah, I know,” Sunset muttered dryly. “I should be thankful, but I keep remembering things... The look on Rainbow Dash’s face as she held me, Rarity’s screaming and pleading... I can’t get them out of my head. Every time I close my eyes, I see what I did to them. How I devastated them.”
“Remorse does not make you selfish,” Luna said.
“But that’s just it. I don’t regret falling.” Sunset held her head in her hands. “I hate that I don’t. It makes me feel awful, wanting something so terrible. Doesn’t it make me terrible, too?”
“Bad feelings do not make you a bad person, Sunset Shimmer,” Luna said. “You need to understand that if you wish to move forward.”
“I don’t want to move forward, don’t you get it?!” Sunset shouted. “I don’t want to get better! I don’t want apologies from Rainbow Dash and Rarity and all the others! It’s too late for that. It’s too late to pretend it’ll all just work itself out. I’m sick of trying to improve my life only to have it blow up in my face every time!”
Sunset paused, her breaths ragged. She was surprised by her own outburst, though Luna seemed unfazed, or at least unresponsive.
“There’s nowhere left for me,” Sunset said. “I’m not wanted in this world, at least beyond the initial reactions of guilt. And I don’t have some great love for Equestria. Besides, there’s nothing left for me there but more regrets.” Tears choked Sunset as she spoke softly. “I don’t belong anywhere, Luna. I’m homesick for a place I’ve never been and a family I’ve never had. And I’m so, so tired of trying to find it.”
She looked up at Luna, her vision clouded by tears. “I just... I-I just want to end."
Luna’s sorrowful expression made Sunset curl back up into a ball. Neither of them said a word as they sat within the starry dreamscape of Sunset’s unconsciousness.
Despite being within what Luna called a dream, Sunset was exhausted. She shut her eyes as tight as she could, but couldn’t subdue the vision of her mind’s eye. The horrified, screaming faces of Rainbow Dash and Rarity haunted Sunset almost as much as the empty eyes of her own body. Sunset had never really observed herself from any other perspective. Seeing herself crumpled and broken after her fall, covered by scars, and dressed in bloody, tattered clothing certainly did not help Sunset feel any better.
As the brief flashes of memory forced her eyes open, Sunset began wishing she had her razor. She wasn’t sure how such an act would work in whatever plane of existence she was currently in, but the desire was overwhelming all the same.
She began to pick at her skin. The pain was dull and fleeting—nothing like what her blades did—but she continued all the same. Focusing on the feeling of her skin pinching between her fingernails was just barely enough to keep herself occupied. Soon enough, her situation began to disappear along the peripheries of her mind, and memories of screams and tears blurred out of focus.
“You should not do that,” Luna spoke up. Sunset let out a tiny yelp, being pulled out of her trance.
“Oh, s-sorry,” Sunset stuttered. She had never been caught in the act of hurting herself before, and while this was hardly the worst thing she had done to her own body, she still wasn’t sure what to say.
“Tell me, Sunset Shimmer,” Luna spoke. “What first caused you to do such things to yourself?”
Sunset took a moment to think. “Uhm... It was after the Fall Formal,” she said. “Twilight and her friends had, well, defeated me. As their magic turned me back, I remember there was such an overwhelming, searing pain shooting through my entire body. It was the most agonizing thing I’d ever felt. And yet...” Sunset trailed off.
“And yet what?” Luna asked.
“I knew I deserved it,” Sunset said. “That pain was retribution for what I did at the Formal. And yeah, everyone was forgiving enough afterwards, considering what I’d just done—what I’d tried to do. But I had hurt them so much...”
“And you thought you deserved even more pain?”
“I don’t know what I thought. When I got back to my apartment that night, I took a shower, and instead of shaving, I took my razor and just... started.” Sunset felt her heart beating faster as she continued. “It was small, at first, with just a few nicks on my thighs, then I went to bed. But I couldn’t sleep. I kept thinking back on how terrible I’d been, how terrible I would have been if Twilight hadn’t stopped me. So I got my razor and kept going...”
The princess looked at her. “Why?”
“It gave me an outlet, I guess,” Sunset said. “I dunno, maybe that’s not the right word. It took my mind off what I had done, and in a way I couldn’t accidentally ignore. Between the pain, the itching, the blood... It kept me calm.”
“Surely there are other ways for you to remain calm,” Luna said.
Sunset frowned. “Yeah, just as there are other ways to kill myself. But jumping off a building was what I happened to stumble into, so here we are.”
“You are not dead.”
“I know, I know.” Sunset rolled her eyes. “I’m not happy about it either.”
“Do not presume that I desire the same fate for you as you wish for yourself,” Luna said.
“It was a joke, you stooge,” Sunset said.
Luna raised an eyebrow. “Do you think it is appropriate to address me in such a way, Sunset Shimmer?”
Sunset shrugged. “I dunno. You’re the one who told me you aren’t a princess here.”
“Hmm. Fair enough,” Luna smirked. “A stooge I shall be, then.”
“Seriously?” Sunset snickered. “I know you’re royalty and all, but I swear, you couldn’t talk fancier if you tried.”
“I speak as such to maintain an air of dignity,” Luna said.
“I didn’t know dignity required a thesaurus,” Sunset said.
“An expansive vocabulary is hardly enough. It is not the knowledge we have that matters, but rather how we use it to better ourselves,” Luna said.
Sunset looked up at the alicorn. “Y’know, I can’t help but feel like we got a little off topic.”
“No matter,” Luna said. “I have a proposition for you, Sunset Shimmer.”
“And what’s that?” Sunset said.
Luna looked down at her. “I would like you to observe yourself once more, so that you may better understand the results of the path you wish to take.”
“Wait, what?” Sunset did a double take. “You don’t mean—”
“I would send you back once more,” Luna said. “You would again be returned to wherever your unconscious body is now, so that you may witness the events that are transpiring in the aftermath of your fall.”
“I don’t understand,” Sunset said. “Why? What’s the point of that other than to guilt me into feeling even more awful about everything?”
“I do not want you to feel guilt, Sunset Shimmer. I only want you to observe, and to learn. Should you feel unable or unwilling to continue doing so, I will return you to me upon request.” Luna’s horn glowed softly. “Would you consent to such an arrangement?”
Sunset had no idea what to say. The events that had transpired after she had returned to the scene of her fall still burned in her mind, tormenting her. Now Luna was offering to send her back again, and there was no way to know what would be waiting for her.
She wanted to refuse, and yet, something was gnawing at her. Sunset couldn’t figure out why, but something was compelling her to return. Perhaps some vindictive part of her hoped to witness her former friends express their remorse. Maybe she wanted to prove to herself that jumping had been the right decision. Sunset knew she wanted something, and she knew there was only one way to find out what.
Sunset gave Luna a silent nod. The alicorn’s horn lit up, and in a flash, the dreamscape was gone.
Sunset found herself in an unlit, tiny room. As her eyes adjusted, she recognized the sight of medical equipment and the smell of disinfectant. Sunset turned around, and her breath left her.
Her own body, still unconscious, was lying motionless in a tiny bed before her. Wires extended from beneath the sheets, and a thick clear tube led to a mask around her mouth. The quiet beep of a heart monitor sounded as Sunset observed the apparatus to which so many of the wires were linked. The device was composed of countless tubes and canisters, and it seemed to hiss and hum in rhythm with the heart monitor’s beeping. Sunset had never seen someone appear so fragile as she did now.
It was then that Sunset realized she was not alone in the room. In the corner, Rainbow Dash sat in stillness, sunken into a tiny chair. Her entire body seemed on the verge of collapse, yet she was wide awake. She stared at Sunset’s frail form, her eyes puffy and red. She was muttering something under her breath, and as Sunset moved closer, she could barely make out Rainbow Dash’s words.
“Stupid, stupid, stupid...” Rainbow Dash’s voice was even raspier than usual. “Couldn’t have climbed the stairs any faster...”
Sunset felt a pit grow in her stomach. She contemplated calling out for Luna to take her away from this place, but before she could, a light flipped on and a nurse walked in.
“Gah!” Rainbow Dash shot up in her seat, rubbing her eyes. “Warn me next time, geez...”
“Apologies, miss,” the nurse said as she walked into the room. “But your friend has a couple of visitors.”
Two more people stood in the doorway behind the nurse, and Sunset recognized Applejack and Fluttershy as they entered the room. Immediately upon seeing Sunset’s body, Fluttershy cracked and burst into tears. Applejack remained silent, her expression overcome with despair.
“Thank you for showing us the way, ma’am,” Applejack said, her voice barely above a whisper.
“Of course,” the nurse said. “Please let me know if you need anything.”
The two girls stepped aside, and the nurse passed out of the room. With that, nobody spoke, and the hum of machinery continued around them. Sunset watched, anxious, as the other girls huddled together in the tiny space around Rainbow Dash’s chair.
“This is our fault...” Fluttershy finally broke the silence.
“I don’t know what to think anymore,” Rainbow Dash said. “I mean, we didn’t make her post all those things, but the way we treated her...”
Applejack seemed to flinch at that. “There’s something y’all need to see,” she said, pulling out her phone. “You’ve been here with Sunset all night, right?”
“Yeah, I followed after the ambulance,” Rainbow Dash said. “Why?”
“Because Anon-a-miss just posted something half an hour ago,” Applejack said. “She was telling the truth, Rainbow Dash. She had nothing to do with it.”
“But...” Rainbow Dash stared at her phone. “Who, then? Why? Why make it look like Sunset?”
“I don’t know,” Applejack said. “I’m as confused as you, but...” She looked over at Sunset’s motionless body. “There’s more important things to focus on right now.”
The entire room fell silent, and Sunset felt as though her heart had stopped beating. Beside her, the monitor’s rhythmic tones fluctuated a bit. Her eyes darted around the room, unsure of what to make of the situation. As looks of regret consumed the faces of the other girls, Sunset expected a rush of resentment, but instead, she was overwhelmed by something she couldn’t explain. It was as though she was saddened by the grief of her former friends in spite of everything they did to her.
That didn’t make sense, Sunset told herself. Why should she feel sorry for them? This was all their fault! It was because of them that she had been so isolated and despised by her peers. It was because of them that she had reached such depths of despair. It was because of them that she had entered that parking garage with the intent to die. They should feel bad. They deserved to feel bad!
And yet, Sunset hated to see them like this. Her mind was just as torn as it had been when she thought of Rarity and Rainbow Dash after her fall, cradling her body and pleading for her to live, to hold on, to not give up. Since then, Rainbow Dash had followed her to the hospital and stayed up all night with her. After all the spite and cruelty Sunset had been subjected to since Anon-a-miss began posting, that had been the first kind thing anyone had done for her.
Sunset was so absorbed in her own thoughts that she was startled by Fluttershy’s soft voice. “Rainbow Dash, have they... Have they told you anything? About Sunset?”
“About her? Like how?” Rainbow Dash didn’t look up from the floor as she replied.
“I mean...” Fluttershy seemed to wince with every word. “Will she be o-okay?”
Rainbow Dash let out a long sigh. “I don’t know,” she said. “When they brought her in, she was in the emergency room for a long time. I think they had to do some kind of surgery, but I don’t know much else.”
“So nobody’s even talked to you?” Applejack asked.
“Not about anything important,” Rainbow Dash said. “When I first asked about Sunset, the people in the ER weren’t sure who I meant. I guess she didn’t have an ID with her, because they were calling her ‘Jane Doe’ until I said I was her classmate and gave them her name.” She looked over at the machines and monitors wired to Sunset’s unconscious body. “Still, whatever the situation is, I can’t imagine it’s good news...”
“That... No, that’s not right,” Fluttershy said. “Sunset’s going to pull through. She’s strong, she’ll be—”
“You weren’t there, Fluttershy!” Rainbow Dash snapped. Sunset could see her red eyes brimming with tears. “You didn’t see her fall... You didn’t see the look she gave me before she stepped off that ledge... There was j-just nothing. She didn’t even say anything.”
Rainbow Dash tensed up. “And the sound of her hitting the ground...” Her demeanor broke down further as Applejack put an arm around her. “I can h-hear it, guys,” she whimpered. “I can see h-h-her eyes. They were still open, even after she... she...”
Sunset sat in silence, listening to Rainbow Dash’s cries. She wanted to smile at her friends and reassure them that it was all okay. She wanted to scream in their faces, to berate them with bitter words and watch them break apart. She wanted to turn away, to call out to Luna to take her from this place. She wanted to shut her eyes, plug her ears, and pretend this was all a nightmare.
All this, Sunset wanted. And yet, she did nothing but look on, an apparition in the shadows.
Rainbow Dash’s sobbing was interrupted by a nurse entering the room again. She was not the same one that had led Applejack and Fluttershy to the room, and Sunset found herself reflexively stepping aside as she entered.
“Hi girls,” the nurse said. “It was good of you to come visit your friend.” When the three girls didn’t respond, she continued. “I don’t suppose any of you have contact information for Ms. Shimmer’s family?”
“Uhm...” Rainbow Dash looked at Applejack.
“Sunset lives on her own, ma’am,” Applejack said.
The nurse cocked her head. “Is that right? Unusual, for someone her age.”
“It’s... complicated,” Rainbow Dash said.
“Well, it’s not my place to pry, but if you find anything out, please inform someone on staff,” the nurse said. “We had no records of Ms. Shimmer before last night, so we’re working a little blind, as far as medical history.”
“Sorry we aren’t much help,” Fluttershy spoke softly.
“It’s alright, dear.” The nurse smiled at her. “As I said, your being here is very kind. You’d be shocked by the number of patients who never receive visitors.”
Applejack glanced over at Sunset’s silent form. “Ma’am, if you don’t mind me asking... Is she gonna be alright?”
“I’ll be honest,” the nurse sighed. “She was suffering from hemorrhagic shock when she first arrived, and her blood pressure being so low for so long is dangerous. That’s to say nothing of the damage to the rest of her body.”
“Oh...” Applejack lowered her head.
“Don’t give up on her, sweetie,” the nurse said. “Most people who fall as far as she did don’t even make it this far. She may not be in the clear yet, but I’d say the worst is over.”
Applejack struggled to smile. “Okay. I appreciate your time, ma’am.”
“Well I’m not leaving just yet. I have to check her vitals.” The nurse pulled in a small cart from the hallway. She took a blood pressure gauge and lightly pulled the sheets up around Sunset’s left arm. As she did, rows upon rows of scar tissue revealed themselves.
“Oh my...” The nurse whispered. She paused to write something on her clipboard. “She must have been doing this for—goodness, I can’t even tell how long.”
Rainbow Dash stared at the floor. Fluttershy gasped and turned away. Applejack looked on, stunned.
“What... What do you mean?” Applejack stuttered.
“There are so many cuts in so many stages of healing,” the nurse said. “Some look like they’re nearly healed, and others seem to be from as early as yesterday.”
“So...” Applejack said, “She’s been, uhm... Hurting herself... For a long time? Not just recently?”
“Looks that way,” the nurse said. She shook her head as she removed the blood pressure gauge. “Poor girl. It’s awful what depression leads people to do.”
Applejack leaned against the wall, her eyes affixed to Sunset’s arm. “This whole time...”
The nurse finished writing down Sunset’s vitals and collected her things. “I have other patients to check on, but I’ll be in every couple of hours,” she said. “And again, thank you for being here.”
Once the nurse was gone, Applejack spoke up again. “Girls... Even if she wakes up, I don’t think we can fix this.”
Sunset felt her heart twisting and churning as different emotions battled for control. From what the nurse had said, it sounded like her prognosis was pretty grim. Sunset was studied enough to know that shock and low blood pressure could cause serious internal damage. Despite what she had told Luna about giving up, Sunset felt a tinge of dread.
The other girls being here did nothing to ease her mind. Why were they sticking around? How dare they act so shocked and surprised when they saw the scars? What right did they have to even know about that?
When Sunset turned to glare at them, her anger evaporated once more. Rainbow Dash had resumed staring at Sunset’s body, her bloodshot eyes full of sorrow. Beside her, Fluttershy could not even bring herself to look at Sunset, and was crying softly with her head in her hands. Between them, Applejack had slumped down to the floor. She kept looking at Sunset’s arm, and her face was wracked with anguish.
Sunset felt a pit in her stomach. How were these the same people who had so callously tossed her aside? It was likely her own fault, she thought. After all, she had treated them horribly for years. Of course they would be suspicious of her. And yet, now it was Sunset who was suspicious of their shift in attitude.
As Sunset watched Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy and Applejack crying in the corner of the hospital room, she remembered what Luna had said about emotions being fleeting things. She took a deep breath and crossed the tiny room. The three girls shared in their grief, and Sunset—intangible as she was—stayed with them.
Sunset found herself unwilling to leave the hospital room. As morning passed into afternoon and into evening, Applejack and Fluttershy left. Tomorrow was a school day, after all. Rainbow Dash, however, refused to go.
“You guys can go if you want,” Rainbow Dash said. “I’m not leaving her.”
Applejack pressed her, saying that Rainbow Dash had been there too long and needed a break.
“I’m not leaving her.” Rainbow Dash repeated. And so her friends went home for the night, leaving Rainbow Dash and Sunset’s unconscious body alone.
In her ethereal state, Sunset watched as Rainbow Dash drifted in and out of sleep half a dozen times before she finally gave up on getting any rest. Rainbow Dash moved her chair a little closer to Sunset’s hospital bed, and as she sat back down, she leaned her head on one of the machines beside her.
“Hey, S-Sunset...” Rainbow Dash’s voice was dry and shaking. “This... This is my fault. I know that. I just... I hope you know I never wanted this to happen. Ever since this whole Anon-a-miss thing started, I—I don’t know...”
Sunset knelt beside Rainbow Dash’s chair. Even though she knew that Rainbow Dash wouldn’t hear her, she felt compelled to respond.
“I don’t understand you,” Sunset said. Just as she thought, Rainbow Dash made no indication of noticing her. “I know I made mistakes, and I tried so hard to make up for that. Just before Anon-a-miss started posting, I was beginning to believe you saw me as one of your friends. When I realized the truth...”
“I was so confused,” Rainbow Dash whimpered. “When the others first suspected you, I didn’t know what to think. But as time went on and more of the signs pointed to you, I think I made up my mind before any of the others. I didn’t want to think about the details. I just...”
“I wanted to believe I knew you better than that,” Sunset said. “I thought you would never turn your back on me. I thought you would trust me when I told you it wasn’t me.” She looked at Rainbow Dash, the sounds of the heart monitor ringing in her ears. “It was never enough, I guess. I was never enough. I want to blame you, but I know the truth.”
“I wanted it to be you,” Rainbow Dash said. “I don’t know why. Some part of me, some stupid, petty thing in my head wanted you to be the bad guy again, because I was used to that. It made sense. It was the way things had been for so long that I just never stopped to question it, and by the time I realized how wrong I was... I don’t think I’ll ever forgive myself...”
“I don’t blame you for hating me,” Sunset said. “Of course you would hate me. The things I did for years... The things I would have done if Princess Twilight hadn’t shown up...”
“It’s unforgivable,” Rainbow Dash said, her head drooping. “If—when you wake up, I won’t ask for forgiveness. I don’t deserve it. None of us do, after what we’ve put you through...”
“It doesn’t matter now,” Sunset said. “I wish I could go back. I wish I could talk to the person I was back then, and tell her there’s a better way. When I first came here, I was so bitter and selfish and angry. I just wanted to feel in control, and I was so scared of losing that control, so I lashed out at everyone. I hurt you all so much... I was a fool to think I could wipe the slate clean. I don’t deserve that. There really is no going back...”
“All I can do is try to be better,” Rainbow Dash said. “I know it’ll never be enough, though. There’s no way I can make up for all this. Applejack was right—I don’t think anything can.” Tears streamed down Rainbow Dash’s cheeks. “After everything you did to turn your life around and be a better person, we threw it all back in your face, and look what happened. I’ll hate myself for the rest of my life for that...”
“I wish I could hate you,” Sunset sighed. “Part of me does, anyway. Which isn’t to say I forgive you or any of the others, though.”
“I can’t get it out of my head, Sunset. That look you gave me on the roof, I mean,” Rainbow Dash said. “If I’d been a little faster, maybe—maybe I could’ve stopped you. Maybe I could have saved you.”
Sunset looked up at her unconscious body, lying motionless before her. “There were some things you shouldn’t have had to see. You or Rarity. Of all the things I hate about myself, what I think I hate most is that I put you both through that...”
“I’m sorry, Sunset...” Rainbow Dash cried softly.
“I hope you can forgive me one day,” Sunset said.
Rainbow Dash’s quiet sobbing blended with the clicking and beeping of the various machines in the room. Sunset stayed silent, her transparent figure still kneeling on the floor. Upon glancing at the hospital bed, her mind drifted away from the present.
Sunset had spent a full day in this room, and in all that time, the only thing she had seen regarding her health was the nurse taking her vitals every few hours. She felt a degree of shame every time the nurse would roll up the bed sheet and reveal Sunset’s scars, and she felt a confusing sense of disappointment every time she saw her vitals were stable.
Why, though? As the evening passed in silence, Sunset found herself caught between the exhaustion of living and the dread of dying. Her conversation with Luna played over and over in her mind as Sunset searched herself for some scrap of hope she could cling to, yet nothing ever came. For all the volatility in her mind, Sunset reluctantly acknowledged that the only constant was her wish to just be done with it all.
Such a feeling left her even more disgusted with herself. Rainbow Dash had not left her side from the moment she got here, and yet Sunset still wanted to die. The resentment made her yearn for an ending even more, creating a vicious cycle of self-loathing. In the time that had passed since the Fall Formal, such occurrences had been a common issue for Sunset. To handle this, she frequently resorted to her razor, though she had sometimes corresponded with Princess Twilight as another means of distraction.
Thinking about Twilight only made Sunset more miserable. What would she think of Sunset now? Luna had made it clear that she had not informed anyone in Equestria of Sunset’s situation, implying that such a decision had to be made by Sunset herself. And in the months leading up to her fall, Sunset had drifted further and further from Twilight, neglecting her journal entirely.
What would be the point, anyway? Twilight always meant well, but anything she said to Sunset would be the same advice she’d heard before. And yet, if this was going to be the end, she would like to see Twilight one more time. While the thought of such a conversation filled her with anxiety, Sunset still found herself longing to talk to Twilight for the first time in months.
“Luna?” Sunset spoke out loud. “I’d like to come back now. I have a favor to ask.”
Several moments passed, then her vision filled with light.
“I can reach out to Princess Twilight for you, Sunset Shimmer. However, I cannot tell her of your recent struggles myself,” Princess Luna said. She paced before Sunset in the dreamscape. “Such a story is yours alone to tell.”
“I just need to talk to her,” Sunset said. “I won’t ask you to give her any details. Honestly, doing so would just get her all worked up before I got a chance to say anything.”
Luna raised an eyebrow. “And what is it you intend to say?”
“I’m... I’m not sure, okay?” Sunset looked away, slouching. “We used to talk regularly through a magic journal, but I kinda stopped writing her as things kept going downhill. I don’t know if she’s worried about me, or angry with me, or anything, really.”
“You need not fear that you have angered her. Princess Twilight is without question the most understanding individual I have ever met,” Luna said.
“True as that is...” Sunset sat down slowly, folding her legs beneath her white gown. She let out a short breath as a dull soreness settled in her chest. “After everything she did to help me turn my life around, I can’t help but expect her to be a little ticked off about how it ended up, y’know?”
“I do not know, Sunset Shimmer,” Luna said. “And neither do you. It is dangerous to presume to know the convictions of others. We can only know ourselves, and even in that we always have much to learn.”
“Hmph,” Sunset stifled a laugh. “You really do sound just like Princess Celestia sometimes.”
“I should think that a compliment,” Luna said. “My sister is very wise, and perhaps as fond of amnesty as Princess Twilight.”
“Is that right?” Sunset sighed, her head drooping a little lower. “Maybe in another life, I would have been good enough to deserve her forgiveness.”
Luna knelt down beside Sunset. “And what is it about yourself that you find so irredeemable?”
“Nnngh... We’ve been over this, Luna. I abandoned my mentor and the closest thing to a mother I had. I tormented the people of my new home for years.” Sunset leaned against the princess as Luna wrapped her wing around her. “And when Twilight gave me my life back, I threw it all away the moment I stepped off that ledge...”
“Do you now regret that decision?” Luna asked.
“I have been changing my answer on that a lot, haven’t I?” Sunset said. “I... I don’t know. Maybe I never will. I know I regret making Rainbow Dash and Rarity see me fall, and I regret wasting the chance Twilight gave me... But more than anything, I think, I regret that I don’t regret it.” Sunset brushed the hair out of her eyes as she looked up at Luna. “Trying to kill myself, I mean.”
“That certainly is a blunt way of putting it,” Luna said. "Still, it pains me to hear you speak with such little regard for yourself."
Sunset rolled her eyes. “How would you describe it, then? Calling something bad by a soft and sweet name doesn’t make it any less awful.”
“You are correct, I suppose,” Luna said.
Sunset let out a sigh. “It doesn’t matter anyway,” she said. Even in this ethereal dream world, exhaustion was taking hold of her body. Her limbs had grown more stiff and sore over the past few hours, and Sunset felt her chest ache and burn with each shallow breath. The ringing in her ears seemed to mimic the heart monitor, as if tinnitus had modeled itself after the slow, steady beeping.
“Do you know how soon I can speak to Twilight?” Sunset asked.
“I will inform her of your request as soon as possible,” Luna said. “For the two of you to speak, however, she must be asleep. To that end, the earliest I expect I can connect her to you would be this afternoon.”
“Uhm... I don’t know what time it is, Luna,” Sunset said.
Luna blinked. “Of course. An hour or so, then.”
“Great,” Sunset said. “In the meantime, could you send me back to, uhm, observe?” She stood up as her heartbeat pounded in her ears. “There’s something that, uh... Something that I’m curious about.”
“If that is what you wish,” Luna said. As the princess’ horn began to glow, Sunset couldn’t stop herself from speaking.
“Thank you, Luna. Thank you for everything.”
Just as the light became blindingly bright, Sunset saw Luna give her a solemn nod.
The first difference Sunset noticed upon her return to the hospital was the staggering amount of balloons in the room. Bundles of every color were floating in every corner, with one even tied to the arm of the chair Rainbow Dash was still sitting in.
The second change was her own unconscious body. When Sunset had been here last, the lights had remained off the majority of the time. Now, with the lights on, Sunset could see just how sickly and fragile she looked. Her normally golden skin was a soft pale yellow, and her already thin frame seemed somehow even smaller beneath the sheets. As the machines hooked up to her beeped and whirred, Sunset could hear ragged little breaths coming from beneath the plastic mask affixed to her face.
Seeing herself in such a state left Sunset staggering. She stumbled back, her invisible form sliding down against the wall. Across the tiny room, the heart monitor continued its monotone sound much slower than Sunset remembered. She took a deep breath, trying to keep herself calm. It would be okay, she told herself. So long as she could speak to Twilight, it would all be okay.
As Sunset exhaled slowly, the door beside her opened. The nurse Sunset had seen the other day entered the room, brushing aside several ribbons dangling from the balloons above.
“Again, sorry about the mess,” Rainbow Dash said from the corner. “I can totally get rid of them if you want.”
“It’s alright, hon,” the nurse said. “People show support in different ways. Your friend from earlier would be heartbroken if her ‘Get Well Soon’ gifts were thrown out.”
“Pffft, yeah,” Rainbow Dash scoffed. “All four thousand of ‘em.”
“I promise, it’s no trouble,” the nurse said. “I’m just here to check vitals.”
As the nurse lifted the bed sheets and exposed Sunset’s scars, Rainbow Dash looked away. Sunset watched from the floor as the nurse affixed a pressure gauge to her arm just above where an IV was inserted in her joint. When the machine was finished, the nurse looked at the reading.
“Oh...” She looked up at Rainbow Dash, who was still facing away.
“What? What is it?” Rainbow Dash shot up, her bloodshot eyes wide awake.
“Miss Dash, it would be good to invite your friends back to see Sunset as soon as they can,” the nurse said.
Sunset remained on the floor, her legs curled up beneath her white gown. Even though she was right next to the hospital room’s door, there wasn’t much reason to move, incorporeal as she was. Such a decision was made easier by the waves of exhaustion that continued to wash over her, forcing her invisible form to the ground.
Once the nurse had left, the room had gone quiet once more, and Sunset relished in the silence. The low hum of electricity was soft enough that it disappeared beneath the ringing in Sunset’s ears, which itself was so ever-present that she hardly noticed it anymore. As she struggled to keep her breathing steady, Sunset observed Rainbow Dash through half-lidded eyes. Her former friend had her phone out and was tapping the screen as quickly as her thumbs would allow. Sunset assumed that Rainbow Dash was following the nurse’s advice, though she was more than a little uncomfortable with the idea of all the other girls crowding into the room to weep over her broken body.
During the days since her fall, Sunset had changed her stance on wanting apologies, inspired by a sort of pragmatism that could only be understood now, on the eve of her end. It wasn’t that Sunset did not appreciate the others admitting their mistake—rather, it was the notion that such an admission somehow erased or even eased the suffering she had endured. Sure, they meant well, but good intentions didn’t do Sunset much good now that she was nearing her, well...
There was no time to dwell on that now. Sunset focused what little resolve she had left into staying alert. Weariness was creeping even deeper into Sunset’s limbs, so much so that she splayed her legs out on the floor. She could feel her heart reverberating through her entire body every few seconds, and each beat felt like a kick to the chest. With every dry breath she took, a stinging sensation gnawed at her throat, and a shudder ran through her limbs when she exhaled. More than anything, though, Sunset was so, so cold.
She had to hold on. She had to hold on until she could see Twilight. Sunset knew she could not leave before explaining to the princess why she had chosen to die. Twilight deserved that much, after all she had done to make Sunset’s life a little better. She had given Sunset so much. The least Sunset could do was let her know that her efforts, while ultimately wasted, were appreciated and adored every step of the way.
The first of her former friends to show up were Fluttershy and Rarity. Sunset had not seen Rarity since the night of her fall, and she was a little surprised by what she saw now. Rarity entered behind Fluttershy, wearing a dull grey hoodie and jeans. Her face was free of any makeup as she lifted her head to look at Sunset’s motionless body. Rarity’s eyes were brimming with tears, and she stumbled forward. Rainbow Dash stood up to offer Rarity the only chair in the room, which Rarity promptly collapsed into with a huff. She remained there, sniffling, as Rainbow Dash spoke up.
“I don’t suppose you two have heard from AJ or Pinkie yet, huh?” Rainbow Dash said.
“I’m afraid not,” Fluttershy said, her voice quivering as she glanced at Sunset’s motionless body. “But, Rainbow Dash... Have you heard about the Anon-a-miss profile? Who it was?”
Sunset let out a mute groan at that. Even if whoever was responsible had been caught, that did little to change her situation now. Honestly, she thought, perhaps she would be better off not knowing. Still, she couldn’t help but feel a little curious.
Rainbow Dash slumped against the wall. “Yeah, y-yeah I heard. Saw it online a little while ago.”
“And...? Are you alright? How do you feel?” Fluttershy asked.
“Honestly? I don’t know. I mean yeah, Scootaloo and her friends are just kids. And yeah, kids can be stupid and jealous and have no idea what they’re doing, but...” With a heavy sigh, Rainbow Dash looked over at Sunset’s bed. “I’ll never be able to look at her the same way again.”
“It doesn’t matter anyway,” Rarity croaked from her chair in the corner. “They set the stage, yes, but we carried out the performance.”
“We should h-have been better,” Fluttershy said, her voice tinged with sorrow. “This is no one’s fault but ours...”
Silent as ever, Sunset sat there on the floor, contemplating everything she had just heard. It was Scootaloo, then. Scootaloo and her friends, so Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle too. And they framed Sunset because they were jealous of her.
It made sense, she supposed. While their actions and reasoning were awful and manipulative, they were no worse than the things Sunset had done for years. Knowing that the culprits had done this over something so petty seemed remarkably ironic to Sunset, and it confirmed to her that such an event tearing her life apart was an inevitability. If it hadn’t been Anon-a-miss, it would have been something equally destructive, and the end result would be the same. Such thoughts made her feel a little better, at least.
“Have...” Fluttershy spoke up, pulling Sunset back to the present. “Have they told you h-how long she—” She never finished her question, as Rarity burst into tears.
“We killed her!” Rarity screamed, burying her head in her hands. “We killed our f-f-f-friend...!”
The other girls moved to console her. Rarity’s wails filled the room, their volume only adding to the pounding in Sunset’s ears. She shut her eyes, wincing, and as she did, a dim spark began to flicker in the center of Sunset’s vision. She opened her eyes, and the spark remained, gleaming brighter and brighter. Sunset squinted, unable to figure out what she was looking at, only to hear a familiar voice echoing from what sounded like miles away.
“Sunset? Sunset Shimmer?”
Sunset gasped. “Twilight...?”
“Sunset?”
“Twilight, where are you?” Sunset said, her voice strained and breathless. The spark was now a brilliant light, and the hospital room disappeared within its shine. Sunset blinked, and—
Her eyes drifted open. She was on her back, suspended in the very same dreamscape she had been in with Luna, only now it seemed... dull?
Sunset sat up, looking around. The stars that had once dotted the entirety of the dreamscape were gone, replaced by a hazy glow of deep violet. Just looking at such a color made Sunset sleepy.
“What’s all this about?”
She turned around to see Twilight Sparkle. The princess was human, just like Sunset, and her clothes were the same as the ones she’d worn when she first arrived in Sunset’s world.
“Sunset, are you feeling alright?” Twilight asked. “Princess Luna said you needed to speak with me, and that it was urgent.” Twilight looked down at Sunset. “And why are you wearing a dress? Or, a gown maybe? Rarity would know.”
“I-I...” Sunset had no idea what to say. For all the mental energy she put into thinking about this meeting, she hadn’t quite figured out exactly what to say. Finally, she spoke up. “Twilight... How much do you know?”
“Know about what?”
Sunset took several deep breaths. The effort of speaking just those few words drained her far less than she had expected. In fact, the strength that had been steadily draining from her over the past few hours had returned, if only a little bit of it. Still, she had so much to say to Twilight, and no idea how long she had left to do so.
“I need you to promise me something, okay?” Sunset said.
“Of course!” Twilight said, smiling. Sunset could feel dread overtake her as she looked at Twilight's smile. Was this really the right thing to do...?
“What’s going on?” Twilight continued.
“Please, just..." Sunset said, "Don’t say anything or ask any questions until I’m done.” She placed a hand on her chest to steady her breathing as she steeled herself for the horrified reactions she knew were coming. “There’s a lot I have to say...”
Sunset had absolutely no clue how to begin, specifically because she had no idea how long she had left. As the dreamscape seemed to swell and shift around her, she desperately wracked her brain for a suitable starting point. If she began with Anon-a-miss, Twilight would initially get caught up in the bullying and drama aspect. Should Sunset be unable to explain herself fully, Twilight may do something entirely rash, like marching through the portal seeking revenge. Sunset felt her stomach knot up at the thought of Twilight trying to—
“Sunset...?”
She looked up, her racing thoughts interrupted. Twilight stared at her, concern weighing heavily on her face.
“Sunset, you have to talk to me. I can’t help if I don’t know what the problem is,” Twilight said.
“No one can help me, Twilight,” Sunset said, her face obscured by her long hair. “That’s... That’s why I needed to see you.”
Twilight knelt down beside her. “What do you mean?”
“I...” Sunset crossed her arms and curled up, burying her face in her gown. A rush of anguish shot through her, seemingly out of nowhere. “I don’t know! I don’t know what’s important, and I should have told you about all this stuff a long time ago when I had the chance and I didn’t and now I don’t—!”
“Listen to me, Sunset,” Twilight said, interrupting her. “It’s okay. We haven’t talked through the journal, but we’re talking now, see?” Sunset felt an arm wrap tenderly around her. “Just start from the beginning, alright?”
Sunset leaned into Twilight, taking several long, drawn out breaths. Within the warmth of her last friend’s embrace, Sunset found a sense of tranquil contentment that had evaded her for longer than she could remember.
“Okay,” she said. “Okay. So, things haven’t been going very well in my world.”
“I gathered that much,” Twilight said.
“Yeah... It’s worse than you think,” Sunset said. “So, there’s this website the students at CHS were using. On the computer. Oh, uhm... You remember how the computers work, right?”
“Of course,” Twilight said. “And a website is like a book page that anyone can see from any computer.”
“Yeah, exactly. Okay, so there’s this website, and there were posts going up revealing embarrassing secrets of students at CHS, including Applejack, Rainbow Dash and the other girls.”
“That’s awful!” Twilight said.
“Yeah, well...” Sunset sighed. “They all thought it was me.”
“What?”
Sunset felt Twilight tense up briefly.
“Yeah,” Sunset said. “And no matter how much I begged and cried and pleaded with them to believe that it wasn’t me, they refused. At first I was mad about it, but seeing how I used to act... I dunno. I can’t really blame them.”
“I can!” Twilight shouted, just a little too loud. Sunset winced as her headache took the opportunity to return.
“Nnngh... Twilight, please,” Sunset groaned.
“Sorry, sorry,” Twilight said. “But seriously! How could they do that? After everything you did to turn your life around!”
“It really doesn’t matter,” Sunset said, trying to relax again. “It was going to happen eventually, Twilight. After all the years I spent hurting them and driving them apart, there was no chance for me to earn their trust fully.” She glanced over to see Twilight’s fuming face. “If it hadn’t been this, it would have been something else.”
“Well, either way, without them I was pretty lost,” Sunset said. “At first I thought it was no big deal. After all, I’d survived by myself in this world for years, so I figured I’d be fine. But...”
“You didn’t want to,” Twilight finished for her.
“Y-yeah. I was only able to last so long on my own because, I dunno...” Sunset paused, thinking about how to describe it. “I guess I built up this callous shell around myself. I wasn’t concerned with being alone because I was so sure that I was better than everyone else anyways. But once you showed me that I could have a better life, there was no way I could ever go back to how I was before. But I couldn’t have that better life, because my friends wouldn’t listen.”
“Then we need to make them listen!” Twilight exclaimed, jumping up. “I’ll head through the portal and together we’ll talk some sense into them.”
“No, Twilight...” Sunset spoke softly. “It’s too late for that.”
“What?” Twilight looked at her, confused. “What do you mean?”
A shudder ran through Sunset’s body as she tried to respond. “Twilight, I-I... After a few weeks of nobody believing me, things started to get worse. People would send me really, really hateful messages and threats all day, every day. I couldn’t keep going to school, and I’d left our journal in my locker and I was too scared to go get it. I just stayed in my apartment, and... I didn’t leave for a long, long time. It was just me trapped with my own thoughts.”
“Oh, Sunset...” Twilight sat back down and pulled Sunset close again. “It must have been so awful.”
Even as Twilight held her, Sunset felt completely frozen over. She looked at her arm—smooth as it was in this ethereal place—and mentally steeled herself for what was to come.
“I hurt myself,” Sunset said. She was surprised by the bluntness of her words, as was Twilight, who pulled out of the embrace to look at her. Her violet eyes were a mess of confusion and concern.
“What do you mean?” Twilight said, barely above a whisper. “What did you do...?”
Sunset turned her head, unable to meet Twilight’s gaze any longer. “I used a razor to, uhm... To hurt myself. I’d done it a few times before this, actually. But I started to do it every day.”
Out of the corner of her vision, Sunset could see Twilight was trembling a bit. She cursed herself for bringing that detail up at all. Honestly, this whole thing was seeming like more and more of a terrible idea. And yet, she continued.
“Before you ask, I don’t really know why. It was a routine, I guess,” Sunset said. “And every day that it played out, my world got a little smaller and dimmer, until I only ever left my apartment a few nights a week to find something to eat. Which, uh, leads into why I needed to see you...”
Sunset braved a glance at Twilight. Her friend said nothing, leaning forward as if to hear Sunset a little better. The painful, rhythmic thump of Sunset’s heart in her ears was lost beneath the impossibly soft whimpering escaping Twilight’s lips.
“So, I ran into Rainbow Dash and Rarity,” Sunset kept talking, closing her eyes so she wouldn’t have to see Twilight’s tears. “And of course, they still thought I was posting their secrets online, so it didn’t go well. And I was really, really upset.” She paused, taking a few deep breaths. When she opened her eyes again, they were watering. “It felt like there was no way out, like I was trapped in a nightmare where everyone despised me for something I didn’t do. Every day it got worse, and I lost my friends and I had no one to turn t-to and I was so, so tired...”
Sunset saw Twilight’s expression transform from concern to despair as the realization dawned on her.
“Sunset...” Twilight breathed. “You didn’t...”
“I-I... Twilight, I’m sorry, you gave me chance to start over and I—”
Sunset’s words were cut off as Twilight nearly collapsed into her. Tears stung her eyes as Sunset felt her friend’s entire body shudder with sobs. Then, as Sunset had dreaded, questions started to pour out as well.
“Why didn’t you reach out to me?” Twilight cried.
“Twilight...”
“Why didn’t you tell me about any of this sooner? Sunset, I could have helped you!”
“Please, T-Twilight...”
“Tell me exactly what happened! Are you okay? Where are you now?”
Sunset drifted forward as a wave of dizziness passed through her, and she felt Twilight place her hands on her shoulders to steady her. “Nnnngh... I jumped off a building,” she said. “It was a really long way down.”
“Sunset, why would you do that?” Twilight kept shouting. Sunset could hardly blame her, but the volume was making her head hurt even more.
“I don’t know. I was tired... I was ready,” Sunset said, looking away.
“Sunset, look at me.” Twilight tilted Sunset’s head up. “You have to tell me exactly where you are right now. I’m can be there in—”
“No, Twilight!” Sunset suddenly shouted. Twilight was unfazed, even as Sunset continued. “No. I don’t want you to come through the portal. I didn’t want to see you to ask for help. There’s nothing anyone could do that would help me anyway.”
Twilight threw her hands up. “You can’t expect me to do nothing! You tried to kill yourself!”
“Please, just... Stay here. Stay with me.” Sunset choked up, the pain in her chest flaring. “I d-don’t want to be alone when it happens.”
Twilight looked as if she’d been asked a riddle. “When what happens?”
“Y’know, when it’s...” Sunset trailed off. “When it’s time for me to go.”
Twilight’s eyes widened. “No,” she said plainly, as if she were reciting a fact. “No. Sunset, you don’t get to go. I won’t let you.”
“I know you want to save me, Twilight. You want to save everyone. It’s what makes you so wonderful,” Sunset said, giving her friend a weak smile. “But with me... With me, there's nothing left to save.”
“Stop saying things like that!” Twilight cried.
“It’s okay, Twilight, really. I was able to see myself in the hospital, and I know I don’t have much time left,” Sunset said with a sigh. “If I’m being honest, I’ve known my life was going to end this way for a long time. Long before I met you, or even before I went through the portal. Maybe it’s my curse for turning my back on Celestia.”
Twilight kept crying. “Sunset, I’m not just going to sit here and watch you die!”
“I appreciate it, Twilight,” Sunset said. “I know you mean well. But it’s not like you can just drag me back to Equestria. Celestia would—”
“Forget about Celestia!” Twilight screamed.
Sunset stopped. “W-what?”
“Forget about her! And forget about the friends in your world who abandoned you!” Twilight’s voice was shaking. “You don’t need them, Sunset! If they made you hate living so much that you tried to kill yourself, then you’re better off without them!”
“I don’t care!” Twilight said. “She’s been the most wonderful mentor to me, but clearly she did not do the same for you, so you don’t need her! And those girls who look like my friends and have their names are not the same as my friends! And you don’t need them either!”
Sunset had never seen this side of Twilight before. She wondered if Twilight had, either. “Indignation isn’t enough for me to have a life worth living,” she said.
“Then we’ll figure out what is!” Twilight said. “I’m going to come over there, and you’re going to recover, and I’m going to stay in that world with you as long as you need.”
“I could never ask you to do that,” Sunset said.
“You don’t have to, Sunset! That’s what being friends is all about!” Twilight said. “And quite frankly, I’m going to do so whether you want me to or not.”
Sunset’s mind was suddenly buzzing. Everything Twilight had just said had been like a shock to her system, zapping away at her apathy. Maybe this could work. Maybe Twilight was right. Through her head throbbing, her ears ringing and her limbs aching, Sunset felt a slight twinge of hope.
“Sunset, you have to tell me where you are,” Twilight said.
“I-I... I’m in the hospital,” Sunset said. “I don’t know where it is exactly. It’s the only one in the whole city, though.”
“Okay. When we’re done talking, I’m going to go through the portal to find you,” Twilight said.
A smile tugged at Sunset’s lips, and she closed her eyes. Twilight would come find her. Together, they’d figure things out. “Y-yeah,” she said. “I’d like that.”
“It’s going to be alright, Sunset. I need you to believe that.” Twilight’s voice seemed to soften as she spoke. “I need you to tell me you...”
“What?” Sunset opened her eyes. Twilight was still next to her, though she was a little blurry. Sunset could see that her mouth was moving, but the words were muffled, as if she were underwater. Whatever she was saying was made even harder to understand by the ringing in Sunset’s ears.
“Sunset...Tell me... Alright.”
Sunset put her hands over her ears. The ringing was getting louder, so much so that it wasn’t even a ringing anymore. A single long tone sounded in her ears.
“Sunset...? What....?”
Her breaths came faster. Her chest hurt. It hurt worse than it ever had before. The edges of her vision grew darker and darker, until all she could see was the vague shape of a purple girl in front of her. Something grabbed her shoulders, and she heard a voice crying out. Through it all, the tone echoed.
“...No!”
What? Sunset couldn’t hear. Who was shaking her? She was so cold...
“...Sunset!”
The purple girl. She was crying. Why was she crying?
Whatever was happening, Sunset was ready for it to be over. She was really, really tired.
The purple girl was too bright,like a light too close to her face. The voice kept screaming.
It was too loud.Too bright. She needed everythingto stop.
