“I can reach out to Princess Twilight for you, Sunset Shimmer. However, I cannot tell her of your recent struggles myself,” Princess Luna said. She paced before Sunset in the dreamscape. “Such a story is yours alone to tell.”
“I just need to talk to her,” Sunset said. “I won’t ask you to give her any details. Honestly, doing so would just get her all worked up before I got a chance to say anything.”
Luna raised an eyebrow. “And what is it you intend to say?”
“I’m... I’m not sure, okay?” Sunset looked away, slouching. “We used to talk regularly through a magic journal, but I kinda stopped writing her as things kept going downhill. I don’t know if she’s worried about me, or angry with me, or anything, really.”
“You need not fear that you have angered her. Princess Twilight is without question the most understanding individual I have ever met,” Luna said.
“True as that is...” Sunset sat down slowly, folding her legs beneath her white gown. She let out a short breath as a dull soreness settled in her chest. “After everything she did to help me turn my life around, I can’t help but expect her to be a little ticked off about how it ended up, y’know?”
“I do not know, Sunset Shimmer,” Luna said. “And neither do you. It is dangerous to presume to know the convictions of others. We can only know ourselves, and even in that we always have much to learn.”
“Hmph,” Sunset stifled a laugh. “You really do sound just like Princess Celestia sometimes.”
“I should think that a compliment,” Luna said. “My sister is very wise, and perhaps as fond of amnesty as Princess Twilight.”
“Is that right?” Sunset sighed, her head drooping a little lower. “Maybe in another life, I would have been good enough to deserve her forgiveness.”
Luna knelt down beside Sunset. “And what is it about yourself that you find so irredeemable?”
“Nnngh... We’ve been over this, Luna. I abandoned my mentor and the closest thing to a mother I had. I tormented the people of my new home for years.” Sunset leaned against the princess as Luna wrapped her wing around her. “And when Twilight gave me my life back, I threw it all away the moment I stepped off that ledge...”
“Do you now regret that decision?” Luna asked.
“I have been changing my answer on that a lot, haven’t I?” Sunset said. “I... I don’t know. Maybe I never will. I know I regret making Rainbow Dash and Rarity see me fall, and I regret wasting the chance Twilight gave me... But more than anything, I think, I regret that I don’t regret it.” Sunset brushed the hair out of her eyes as she looked up at Luna. “Trying to kill myself, I mean.”
“That certainly is a blunt way of putting it,” Luna said. "Still, it pains me to hear you speak with such little regard for yourself."
Sunset rolled her eyes. “How would you describe it, then? Calling something bad by a soft and sweet name doesn’t make it any less awful.”
“You are correct, I suppose,” Luna said.
Sunset let out a sigh. “It doesn’t matter anyway,” she said. Even in this ethereal dream world, exhaustion was taking hold of her body. Her limbs had grown more stiff and sore over the past few hours, and Sunset felt her chest ache and burn with each shallow breath. The ringing in her ears seemed to mimic the heart monitor, as if tinnitus had modeled itself after the slow, steady beeping.
“Do you know how soon I can speak to Twilight?” Sunset asked.
“I will inform her of your request as soon as possible,” Luna said. “For the two of you to speak, however, she must be asleep. To that end, the earliest I expect I can connect her to you would be this afternoon.”
“Uhm... I don’t know what time it is, Luna,” Sunset said.
Luna blinked. “Of course. An hour or so, then.”
“Great,” Sunset said. “In the meantime, could you send me back to, uhm, observe?” She stood up as her heartbeat pounded in her ears. “There’s something that, uh... Something that I’m curious about.”
“If that is what you wish,” Luna said. As the princess’ horn began to glow, Sunset couldn’t stop herself from speaking.
“Thank you, Luna. Thank you for everything.”
Just as the light became blindingly bright, Sunset saw Luna give her a solemn nod.
The first difference Sunset noticed upon her return to the hospital was the staggering amount of balloons in the room. Bundles of every color were floating in every corner, with one even tied to the arm of the chair Rainbow Dash was still sitting in.
The second change was her own unconscious body. When Sunset had been here last, the lights had remained off the majority of the time. Now, with the lights on, Sunset could see just how sickly and fragile she looked. Her normally golden skin was a soft pale yellow, and her already thin frame seemed somehow even smaller beneath the sheets. As the machines hooked up to her beeped and whirred, Sunset could hear ragged little breaths coming from beneath the plastic mask affixed to her face.
Seeing herself in such a state left Sunset staggering. She stumbled back, her invisible form sliding down against the wall. Across the tiny room, the heart monitor continued its monotone sound much slower than Sunset remembered. She took a deep breath, trying to keep herself calm. It would be okay, she told herself. So long as she could speak to Twilight, it would all be okay.
As Sunset exhaled slowly, the door beside her opened. The nurse Sunset had seen the other day entered the room, brushing aside several ribbons dangling from the balloons above.
“Again, sorry about the mess,” Rainbow Dash said from the corner. “I can totally get rid of them if you want.”
“It’s alright, hon,” the nurse said. “People show support in different ways. Your friend from earlier would be heartbroken if her ‘Get Well Soon’ gifts were thrown out.”
“Pffft, yeah,” Rainbow Dash scoffed. “All four thousand of ‘em.”
“I promise, it’s no trouble,” the nurse said. “I’m just here to check vitals.”
As the nurse lifted the bed sheets and exposed Sunset’s scars, Rainbow Dash looked away. Sunset watched from the floor as the nurse affixed a pressure gauge to her arm just above where an IV was inserted in her joint. When the machine was finished, the nurse looked at the reading.
“Oh...” She looked up at Rainbow Dash, who was still facing away.
“What? What is it?” Rainbow Dash shot up, her bloodshot eyes wide awake.
“Miss Dash, it would be good to invite your friends back to see Sunset as soon as they can,” the nurse said.
“What...” Rainbow Dash looked at Sunset’s motionless body. “Why? What’s going on?”
“Her condition is not improving,” the nurse said. “It’s getting worse, actually. I think, well...”
Sunset closed her eyes, her chest burning as she sighed. She heard the nurse stand up and the door beside her shift, then nurse spoke again.
“You all will want to say your goodbyes.”
Oh dear.
Time is precious, time is fleeting, time...is something you have very little of.
I think it's all coming down to what Sunset decides. If she chooses to fight to live, she can still make a recovery. But if she doesn't choose to make the effort to stay, then she will pass on.
It's not like I didn't see it as a distinct possibility... but that doesn't make it any better now that we're faced with it. It does strike me as interesting that her condition is worsening just as she happened to go back to observe... or, I wonder, is it because of that? Curious to see what happens in conversation with Twilight, if she does have the time.
At this point, I really wouldn't want to be the Anon-a-miss trio; the main quintet's suffering heavy guilt because of the young girls' selfish actions.
I'd honestly believe it wouldn't take much now for Rarity and Applejack to essentially disown their sisters, and for Rainbow to reject Scootaloo, should the older girls ever find out the true culprits.
Hopefully Sunset's talk with Twilight will prevent this amazing fanfic from gaining a 'Death' tag...
Sunset still doesn't want to live, and until she does she isn't. It's rather simple. There is a reason "she is a fighter" is used so often in these kind of situations.
Don't think Twi is going to be enough to make her want to fight. Celestia is going to be needed I fear, but I don't know if Luna is going to call her without Sunset's permission, nor do I know if Sunset will have to guts to ask.
I guess it's one of those situations where the one on the brink of death needs to show how strong the will to live truely is in order to survive.
9344013
It's astounding. Time is fleeting. Madness takes its toll.
That's quite alright. I wouldn't want to write Pinkie Pie into a fic like this either. F'naaaa.
9344268
Too bad her will to survive went down the toilet when this whole thing started.
Are you still working on anymore chapter cause dk far I'm enjoying it
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Yes. Been sick the past several days and unable to get much done. Will hopefully have chapters 9 and 10 up soon.
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Hope you get better and keep up the good work loivn the story
It's difficult, but not surprising, to hear Sunset's self-judgment put in the mouths of others. While I'm not quite sure I agree with Luna that Twilight is the most understanding pony around (that depends on where this takes place in the pony canon, I'd argue), I certainly don't think Twilight would be angry or disappointed in Sunset at all. Hell, even pre-S1 Twi would know better, I think.
Knowing that she does in... another timeline, basically... is such... is so heartbreaking.
... Oh no...
Awww. I should have expected no less from Pinkie, but this is still really touching.
Fuck.