- Member Since 12th Dec, 2011
- offline last seen 41 minutes ago
Jest
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Jest
Joined 12th Dec, 2011 ·
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1st
Needs to be extended into larger story. Great work!
Yes... still using slug throwers. Why fix what ain't broken. Inertia and mass at speed is a hard law to break for most, Harmony juiced Alicorns aside anyways...
Always nice to see some good old pony supremacy.
(I'm joking, in case some of you didn't notice. Or am i? :p)
Badass Bookhorse is badass!
I see you took inspiration from me and 7saviors.
Oh my.
I'd kind of like to see a more drawn out version of this, where the ponies are still brokesauce but do actively try non-curbstomp tactics first.
>portal opens
>army falls over themselves in the charge as portal immediately closes again
>note flutters down onto the pile "You wanna try that again with diplomacy first?"
Holy shit that was amazing :D I would love to read more of this, really!
silly humans, you can not exterminate ponies, they have plot armor!
[im horrible]
What was the exploration about? What did you find?
Aah, this was a splendid "good night story" (because reading at 1 am is magic)
9310510
Of course, credit where credit is due.
9310531
Me too, though that would have to be a longer story, something I simply don't have time for.
9310541
That Badass Twi is a good way to get to the frontpage. :P No but seriously I was just messing around with scifi themes, and some worldbuilding stuff.
9310540
It's like being a side character trying to step up to the final boss in a rpg game. It just won't end well.
Holy crap twilight being a badass definitely favorite
9310584
Which always made me wonder...What if like Cadance,Luna,Celestia, and even Twilight all went evil.....Who the hell would stop them....Discord?Tirek? a combination of the two.? I doubt they'd have enough power.
Nice writing. The story is pretty good too, although I personally find this Twilight too OP for my tastes. Loved the scene where the general threw a grenade :)
Small amount of grammatical errors, but the repeated use of "it's" where it should be "its" is jarring. Remember the golden rule: his, hers and its do not have any apostrophes.
FYI, the actual term is "mother lode", but I'm getting the impression that "motherload" is becoming so common that it might gain official acceptance.
It's been my observation that "pony curb-stomping humans" stories are not well received here. Be prepared for some angry freakouts in the comments.
9310781
How so?
9310824
Really? I havent seen any yet.
9310853
Well, you have a lot of downvotes for a story this good. I find it very odd that you have an upvote to downvote ration of 3:1.
9310862
Especially considering I havent gotten any negative comments other then one person thinking its out of character and one person that pointed out an error.
This. All of this.
This is what happens when you give magic to someone who can think. Someone who understands physics, and chemistry, and science.
They become godlike. Unstoppable.
This is the kind of magic that makes a Harry Potter character into a Sue.
...
I love it.
9310895
Isn't Equus a name the community made up for the planet though? As far as I'm aware the name of the planet has never been stated on the show before, and as such we have the right to call it whatever we want in our fanfictions. The author here has decided to call it Equiss, and they're entitled to do so, regardless of how you feel of it.
Also you could stand to be a little less rude, accusing the author of being 'a special snowflake' just because they spelt something a little differently really reflects poorly on you as a person.
9310912
Hes the one that has decreed that because other fanfics spell it differently, that its basicly cannon. If anyone's a snowflake its him.
9310914
Why?
not bad :D its dark but still very good tho
9310938
You shouldn't call them 'a snowflake' either, regardless of whether you're right or wrong doing so only leads to arguments. And Internet arguments are rarely won.
9310938
Now the negative comments roll in.
9310948
Actually its just one more since then, the other was some special person getting pissed because he expected his fannon to be cannon throughout the fandom.
9310646
You realize MOST stories of this ilk are about how much better humans are than ponies, right? And every time one of those comes about, someone's always talking about how there's too many 'ponies are better than human' stories and yet they almost don't exist. I suppose a handful is too many for people who think humans should be the superior species in any and every setting. In which case I don't see why any of you lot are in this community at all.
9310991
I think hes trolling, there is no way someone is dumb enough to believe that nuking the sun would do anything.
9310591
well evil cadence would be too busy trying to get everyone to shag eachother
twilight would likely become so emo she ceases to exist in her evil state
so it would be just down to daybreaker and nightmare moon....and there are at least a few ponies out there who can serve as a sub for twilight with the element of magic, like moondancer for example...sooooo yeah i think theyed be fine
Are the humans in this story supposed to remind me of warhammer 40k space marines? Cause they do... Ah well, an enjoyable little fic nonetheless, maybe a bit milking how OP Twilight is when she's not being stupid for plot convenience, but most of the abilities she used seem realistic to her canon character anyway, so... Have an upvote!
Not surprising considering Tirek needed all of equestrias magic and Discord before feeling confident beore going after the princesses. That says quite a bit.
9311031
True, also one thing that matters is how much prep time Equestria has for the sudden heel turn of the Alicorn monarchy.
This is really good, and another reason I wish I was better at writing sci-fi. I think I've got horror and fantasy down for the most part, but I'd really, really like to learn how to write hard sci-fi stories like this one and CroakyEngine's Defect.
As a result human military bureaucracy made an adjustment to their standard procedure: exchanged places lines "land on the planet" and "turn planet's surface into glass"
Seriously, no one would care about a few soldiers. Smallest thing Twilight could do that I see having any chances of warding humans off is infiltrating and following the chain of command gruesomely killing everyone in it to the very-very top.
9311071
Yes they are! I am a massive warhammer 40k fan, but wanted didnt want to do a crossover but did want to take a bit of what makes warhammer so fun.
9311111
"Little world building tip. Please do research into what "protectorate" means."
You litterly dont know anything about this world or the context, yet you are also completely sure I dont know what it means. It could be that the earth is a separate entity unto itself with its colonies are acting as a protectorate for the homeworld. Not like it matters as such a thing would never come up in such a small story.
"unless you intend to set it in an alternate universe"
It literally says alternate universe at the top, what part about that did you not understand? Do you not know what tags mean?
"Second, I highly suggest that you make the antagonist somewhat relatable."
Not always neccessary, though usually is the case, this is one of those times as it is unneccessary, as it is only his reaction that matters and that doesnt require tons of build up.
"Nobody likes curbstomp humans suck fanfics, or reverse ones either."
Considering this ended up on the front page within an hour and have earned a considerable amount of upvotes, and veiws, I would think otherwise.
"Any author that writes fiction and they make one side infinitely better, and then goes out of their way to make the other side completely unreliable and unlikable is a hack. It's not a story, it's a bad piece of propaganda. Whoever asked you to write this, whoever paid you to write this, either deserves their money back, or deserves to be told how terrible his misanthropic power fantasies are and he should grow up."
Noone asked for this, it was simply an idea I had. Also, seriously dude, people are allowed to enjoy what they like, if they want a power fantasy, its okay for them to like that. If you dont like that type of thing, you dont have to try and make people feel bad for liking a thing you dont. Just because someone does like a thing that you dont, doesnt mean that they are infantile and should 'grow up'. People are different, chillax and let them enjoy stuff.
"I just paid 25 for New Gundam Breaker on steam, only to find out that the console versions have been updated multiple times with tons of more content, and I still feel more ripped off by the 2 minutes it took to read this fanfic than that steam purchase."
Jesus Christ man, you got issues that a reply from me won't help. I'd advise you take a break, go outside, or masturbate or something, you seem immeasurably angrier then such a tiny story should warrant.
9311133
Honestly, the best advice I could ever give, and have ever been given is read alot of stuff on what you want to write. I wanted to hit on some warhammer 40k themes in regard to the look and feel of the humans, and I own and have read a cornucopia of warhammer 40k books.
9311138
You need to think about what happened in closer detail.
She displayed precognition able to pinpoint their exact point of entry down to the milisecond. She was able to neutralize all known weapons without difficulty, and showed absolutely no hesitation or difficulty in destroying their entire force, and shes only one being. Facing such a massive unknown variable that may have the power to simply tear starships apart or teleport them into the sun, would you really risk it?
9311176
I mean, my only complaint power fantasy-wise is Twilight removing and transferring inertia, and freezing time. No doubt time freeze spells exist since they've been mentioned, but they haven't been used. If you wanted to make Twilight look OP while still keeping with canon power levels, might I suggest mind control or movement restriction via TK, or straight up blasting them? All of which she loves to do.
I think this would have worked better with Princess Celestia (or perhaps Luna). This is out-of-character for Twilight. Unless we're talking about a far future version of Twilight, who's old enough that she's more like Celestia then the Twilight we know.
9311197
I think the time magic is fine, and since we have been shown they exist, and that this Twilight is smarter and more singularily focused that it makes sense. Shes also trying to intimidate, not murder as fast as possible, which bending local space time would definetly do. Though I do see where your coming from and partially agree with you.
9311201
Its out of character for anypony, unless you realize a few things. One, she has looked into possible futures and potentially spent hundreds of hours looking at every possible result. She mentions this in the story, and knowing that, its not far out of character for Twilight to choose the possible future in which the least amount of people have to die.
9311232
That would make sense, but I already established that the UEP is already fighting several other wars and resources are very, very thin. Considering that they know that Equestria is defensive, and unlikely to attack them it makes sense for them to leave them be, for now. Maybe eventually they might try and come back, but it doesnt make sense for them to divide things even thinner and potentially waste even more precious resources facing a foe that is capable of bending the very fabric of spacetime.
9311240
You say you dont know why, and then immediatly realize that it was for fuel. Maybe you should think about things a little more before you type.
Also why would you feel bad for the humans, they were litterly prepared to pull the very atmosphere from the planet and kill every living thing. The fuck?