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Jest


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Chrysalis' invasion lasts only a whopping five seconds before she surrendered. All according to plan.


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Chapters (1)
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Comments ( 81 )

To be honest, this makes way more sense than 'canon' invasion. At the very wotst, Celestia would think of a way to counter this eventually and throw changelings out, and by that time they could prove themselved useful and trustworthy, sort of, to blunt the motivation.

Jest #2 · Dec 20th, 2020 · · ·

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In the theoretical sequel, Chrysalis eventually convinces Celestia and the world of their usefulness by virtue of the changelings essentially working for free.

“I liked it more when I was the only one who knew all the old loopholes,” Celestia muttered.

And this is where it falls apart for me. How long has Celestia been ruling, exactly? How many opportunities has she had to remove all the sclerotic old laws from the books? Furthermore, how did those slip under her notice for this long if she went looking for old loopholes, or at least made a point of keeping them in mind long after they slipped out of her subjects' memory?

I do see where you were going with this, but it just wasn't funny. Illogic can be amusing, yes, but it still has to hold up well enough that it doesn't completely collapse under its own rules. Sorry.

it was pretty funny. it's cool to watch a conventional antagonist achieve his goal with the help of vines in the law.

sykko #5 · Dec 20th, 2020 · · 4 ·

Hilarious. You know Celly could charge Chrysalis with a war crime, considering she launched an attack without first formally declaring war and if sun butt is feeling pretty nasty, she could charge bug butt with attempted assassination.

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"Attempted Assassination"? How can a punch to the face kill you??!! That is really idiotic for Celestia to do.

Makes you wonder what Luna will say.

Reminds me of "The Mouse That Roared", except there's no Q-bomb.

Jest #9 · Dec 20th, 2020 · · 1 ·

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Because having an ass ton of ancient laws no one else knew about or understood worked well for her up until she was dealing with a fellow immortal.

*snickers* this reminds me of how things play out in one of vavacungs alt universe comics...think it was called when villans win

it takes place in an world where chrysalis won the invasion but freaks out when she realizes she did as she had not planed for that...so celestia tricks her into politely suggests that she surrender and give reparations rather then having to actually follow thru and figure out how to rule her newly conquered realm...celestia also falls in love with her and runs off to the hive to live with her dispite chrysi trying to avoid it, leaving poor luna runing equestria

its a really fun comic yall should read it

10590087
Rare is the person that questions the sunbutts rule...:pinkiegasp:

She was immortal, nearly indestructible, and had enough magic to vaporize the poor pony with a thought so what was the harm?

Ah she shows her true stripes?

For some reason the two throne guards took the time to slap themselves at that exact moment.

Because the attacker is stupid for doing this, because Celestia is stupid for letting this be done to her, or because they are stupid for doing nothing about it?
Edit: That question is answered later.

Okay that is a whole lot to unpack but why hit me? You could have simply declared war and then surrendered,” Celestia inquired.
Cus this is way funner,” Chrysalis replied with a shrug.

To be fair, Chrysalis is right...

Chrysalis scoffed. “By the first mother, no. I meant literal feel good mushy love. We are emotivores.”

Technically a changeling is a sapient insectoid innately super-polymorphic emotovore1.


Good story!
I enjoyed reading it.

At first I thought the changelings would slap themselves because Chrysalis plan was so stupid, but it seems she really thought things through.

  1. Term stolen from the story Without a Hive. 2
  2. The footnote tag is underrated

I also like the version from DERPA, which includes a less merciful Chrysalis and many more lawyers.

And collapsing the griffon economy by accident.

ah legalise, is why you gotta rework your legal code after every nation absorbed into yours

I don’t know why but I’ve always loved fics where chrysalis isn’t quite so bull headed and wins against the ponies using their own shoddy legal system.
A very specific type of fic but an enjoyable subset to be sure, having said that this specific fic? I enjoyed it greatly. Thank you for writing it! :twilightsmile:
i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/001/496/537/372.gif

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I do wonder if Celestia could find a pony who's quite good at the law in a greasy criminal defense kind of way...

Really, Celestia, she gave you an out and you didn't take it. That's on you.

Because she said this:

“Like my unconditional surrender, and your obligation to house as well as feed all four hundred thousand of my citizens,” Chrysalis declared.

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To surrender unconditionally and receive something after the fact is different. Celestia would have to be cognizant of what would come after her surrender in order to include waiving those things as part of the surrender agreement. Which she clearly wasnt.

“Don't you just love having a legal code carried over from unicorn supremacists, and altered by sixteen different overlapping douchis as well as a thousand years of power mad nobles?” Chrysalis teased.

duchy
noun
plural noun: duchies
the territory of a duke or duchess; a dukedom.

Douchies sounds like the plural form of Douchey... The territory of a douchebag.
Though it does provide setup for a joke.

“Don't you just love having a legal code carried over from unicorn supremacists, and altered by sixteen different overlapping douchis as well as a thousand years of power mad nobles?” Chrysalis teased.

It's pronounced "Duchies" corrected Quick Quill.

"While her pronunciation may be incorrect I must say that her word for it is FAR more accurate" said Celestia.

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Lol nice one. Fixed.

circle as a rod—circle and a rod

Ps: wonderful story, kept laughing the entire time

Simple, but effective.

I don’t believe this, Chrysalis is totally out of character. She’s way to smart in this fic.
I kid, this was extremely funny

simply genus on chrysalises part... poor celestia...

And this is why someone should probably go through the laws every few years, to make sure you don’t have to fire a shotgun in the air before turning a vehicle onto the Main Street.

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Consider this. At the beginning building a law codex on a pre-existing system was a great idea; saved time and effort. It worked well enough, after curbing some more extreme measures, with time more stuff got added in and by the time it became obvious something had to be done to reconstruct and rewise it, no mortal would really abuse the old systems and brave the Sisters' disapproval; there was no rush (it could be put off for tommorow indefinitely). When NNM happened, all of this definitely fell by the wayside; couple centuries into solitary rule, the old morass could even become a source of nostalgia - 'When she returns to me, we'll figure all of this together!'. And then she did, and the mental equivalent of chewing on tinfoil vigorously for years on end wasn't even a consideration (If anything, Luna might have issues with more modern designs)

Plus, it clearly worked in Celestia's favour sometimes. Even assuming other races have an Alicorn-equivalent in some sort of leadership role, nobody was likely to turn this against her - there was pride on the line, and anyway she'd probably see it coming. The changelings had the element of suprise and have quietly prepared for this for some time now, and Chrysalis reined in her pride for the greater good. It's pretty much a perfect storm.

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I suppose. I guess part of the problem is it feels unsatisfying to have a story that's mostly "I already won, and I'm going to introduce all of these concepts never mentioned anywhere else ever to explain how." The rest is accepting a Chrysalis capable of, as you say, reining her pride in for the greater good. That alone calls for an AU tag. :derpytongue2:

... Oh. And there it is. Well, that one's on me. :twilightblush:

Yeah, I'm definitely overthinking this one. Still didn't find it funny, but I'm glad a lot of other people did.

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I get where you’re coming from, but I enjoyed this story. Though I might have the advantage of having only just woken up and can’t brain fully yet.

Good thing they've got those miles of abandoned crystal mines beneath the city. Also better tell Cadance she's got a new assignment as a 'Diplomatic Liaison' to the new changeling refugees. Better hire Pinkie Pie too, just in case they need dessert- er, I mean just in case Cadance needs an assistant.

Georg #32 · Dec 21st, 2020 · · 2 ·

"You can't be serious." Queen Chrysalis looked at the sign, then at Princess Celestia, then back at the sign. The words 'Danger - Everfree Forest' had been scratched out and smaller words on the bottom indicated that the place was now called 'Happy Changeling Prisoner of War Camp #1' with little hearts and flowers scribed around the letters. Chrysalis lifted one hoof to examine the gooey black mud that clung to it, as well as several leeches, then gave Celestia a vicious glare. "You can't be serious," she repeated.

"It is a place for your changelings that meets your specifications," said Celestia calmly without a trace of snark. "It's damp, dark at least half of the time, and full of creatures who will love you." There was a distant warbling four-part harmony of a hydra bellowing in the distance, and Celestia finally smiled. "Or would you care to negotiate terms to your surrender and subsequent introduction to Equestrian society as contributing members?"

Why does this feel like it belongs in the pony loops ?
Chrysalis rarely is that kind of smart.

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A welcome addition. Good work.

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QUICK! Post this as a drabble somewhere!

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I should've known better. Always bet on Sunbutt.

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What about Sunbutt Junior?

I actually really enjoyed this. Really well done. Not seen a good comedy fic like this in a long while. Short but very sweet. :moustache:

this feels like it shouldn't just be a oneshot

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Who's got a sun for a butt?

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Well, Sunset, but it could have been Twilight. Since, y'know, successor and all that.

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Not only that, but if you really think about the reasons this legal loophole even worked, Celestia would have had absolutely no reason to even consider it as one before this exact moment, after all it's theoretically impossible to have an entire nation of 400k inflict harm on itself at the same time in literally a matter of seconds... unless you happen to be dealing with a species that has an infinite range telepathic hivemind for instantaneous transmission of information but what are the odds of encountering one of THOSE right? Clearly such a thing is the work of those new fangled Science Fiction Comic Books that all the kids love right?

I am laughing so hard right now!!! :rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh:

If you don't mind, I translated your fic on Russian. Of course, all credits will be written in the fic description. After posting, I'll post here links.

And then all the cherngelerngs died from magical Cordyceps... which mutated into a shape-shifting monstrosity and went into space to seek more worlds to invade! :fluttershbad:

And now you know the REAL backstory to John Carpenter's "The Thing"!! :pinkiecrazy:

Or "Invasion of the Body Snatchers".... or BOTH!! :pinkiegasp:

Chrysalis is an ancient immortal ruler of an entire species bred for espionage. Her behavior here honestly fits much better than it does in canon.

CCC

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Chrysalis' biggest problem in canon has always been that - despite all of that being true - she nonetheless has a truly massive overinflated sense of self-importance.

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