- Member Since 31st Dec, 2014
- offline last seen 1 hour ago
Phoenix Nebula
Chaos is not the opposite of Harmony but apart of it. Both chaos and order together create a balance known as Harmony. Without one you cannot have have the other and without either there is nothing.
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That was pretty good.
For a first fight scene, it worked. But the story would be better if you had this as the final chapter to a longer story and not by itself.
I just can't give a buck about it as is.
Interesting concept! This story look really good and finale come to hand to worthy in keeping with MLP!
Would be interesting as a story series.
Great work, couple things:
1) Thoughts should be in italics. You did it once in the middle of the story, just needs to be more consistent.
2) Commas at natural pauses. Some of your sentences come on as ambling run-ons when some commas would help.
Other than that, and being somewhat wordy, good stuph. Gold star 4 u.
Very Eastern European.
9628884
The italics are lost when I put the text in Grammarly I did my best to find the points where I needed to put them back in. As for commas again I spell check with Grammarly and It hasn't asked for more commas, so not much I can say about that other than blame my spell checker.
*Sees title while perusing*
Hmmmm...
*Checks author's commentary*
Huh.
*Checks tags*
Well then. This seemed like a very interesting take on a normally dark confrontation, which sounded like exactly what I like to see. I was not disappointed.
Just... Is it truly redemption if the redeemed is incapable of appreciating it?
9630619
I have no plan to write a sequel right now or a prequel, but if I were to write a follow up I would have it focus on Zychi as she grows up in a new world. Eventually Twilight will tell her the truth about what she was and what she did. I really have no idea how she would react to knowing this information. Again this is just what I might do I have no plans at the moment to write more of this.